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Ok .. if you like Almond Joy, Mounds, or Whatchamacallits, you have been warned to stop reading right now. It will get ugly and you probably won't ever look at a candy bar the same way.
My STBAX has an open FB page that I honestly don't think he knows is open and I choose NOT to look for two reasons .. I'm blocked so it involves time and energy .. and 2nd reason it's just not healthy because he presents three totally different people to others and it's based upon what he wants the world to believe and how he needs to fit.
I swear my HP has a terrible sense of humor .. I mean beyond wicked (I don't mean wicked as in evil .. I mean wicked as in twisted .. lol) .. for whatever reason I have a gift in terms of information collecting .. the God of my understanding always gives me the information that I need when I need it, especially when He's reminding me .. He's not done refining me.
A very good girlfriend of mine texts me and is just furious with my stbax .. over his posting on FB .. I tell her it's really none of my business, .. what she has already shared has left me howling and horrified at the same time. She looks I think it's out of morbid curiosity .. I know she looks more than she tells me kind of thing.
Between announcing that his latest flavor has dumped him for reasons he just doesn't understand .. (this happens right before he decides to start sniffing around me and the kids regularly), .. he's announcing on a public page how he's spent time on the 7th floor because of a woman .. hey good for you .. however REALLY?! The next post indicates he needs to be someone's Almond Joy and that's the one that seriously sent me over the edge .. I mean the jokes that have been made and the howling that has persisted .. I'm sorry if I sound just as juvenile as he is .. I sooooo needed to hear this because we had been spending way to much time together and I was delusional that he was behaving in a healthy way. OBIVOUSLY .. God needed to remind me other wise. I am also thankful that he has blocked my daughter so she doesn't deal with his crazy behavior.
This is my wicked sense of humor and I'll go with evil on this one I recount the story to my therapist who is in his 70's and he's sharp .. love this man big time .. I will be sorry when my sessions end he has impacted my life in such an incredible way. Anyway, the look that crossed my grandfather therapist said it all when he got the meaning and first words out of his mouth .. OMGOSH that is DISGUSTING! To which his comment after that was .. well he keeps doing what he's doing and he won't be using his Almond Joy with anyone. Now I'm crying laughing.
My daughters therapist is a hoot. Her and I were talking and we are very alike in our thought processes and humor which is probably a bad thing .. she is quick. I needed to know that this is not normal or healthy in a man my stbax's age .. I really wanted to hear from another woman who was closer to my age .. well OMGOSH .. she was off to the races .. ohhh .. so he must be looking for his Mounds .. if he keeps using his Almond Joy like that he's going wind up finding a Whatchamacallit and then what's he going to do? Now the two of us were howling .. I'm beyond crying I can't even talk.
It is ALL I can do NOT to make a smart ass comment about Almond Joys every time I have seen him in the past week .. I do mean that seriously too. I have asked the God of my understanding if it's ever appropriate He give me the lead in .. the texts I have received in regards to recovery work and so on .. I'm sooooo staying on my side of the street .. ohhhhhhhhh .. it's soooooo hard.
My awful joke of this beautiful Monday morning .. I still start laughing thinking about the fact and at some point in the past 2 years .. I was willing to go back to a man who has such issues with women this is how he expresses himself. I'm so glad to be out of the fray of it all.
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Its a great reminder of why you left him, maybe Im being a bit naive here but I dont really get what an almond joy is. lol. Im thinking its his penis, is that right? or is it a vagina? sorry, I hope these words are allowed.lol
LOL .. OMGOSH .. El-Cee .. Almond Joy's have nuts and Mounds do not .. I will let you arrive at your own conclusion .. I just choked on my coffee!
After so many years without TV .. I have NOT missed the commercials .. of course my daughter and I are watching an evening show and it's about the discomfort of sex after menopause .. she turns me to me and says why can't they just say vagina instead of going through the description of it all .. LOL! Out of the mouths of babes .. I don't think those should be considered censored words .. they do cause discomfort in terms of chair shifting when they are heard .. most people won't say them with their own Dr .. which is why there are soooo many other illusive descriptions.
So many other ways he could have gone .. I need to get laid .. I need a woman .. SOMETHING .. why drag poor innocent candy bars into the mix .. LOL!
Hugs S :)
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thank goodness you're out of that and aren't having jokes like that made about you! Just, ewww!
I found out later that when I first was seeing my ex-A, he was always posting about it in a semi-crude way ("Gonna have a hot weekend! Think Superman will be able to last the course?" kind of thing) -- this when what was actually going on was that we went for a walk. It's like he considered himself so macho for spending time with a woman -- or so insecure -- that he had to get bragging points out of it. But "I went for a walk with a woman friend and she tried to talk to me about my family but I dodged her questions" -- that doesn't look so good on the bragging front. It's like they build themselves up by imagining the most macho scenario and broadcasting that, like everyone will respect them for it. Well, A's are good at self-deception, aren't they?
Craziness. But funny when you get perspective, as you have!
ROFL! Wow SRU, I was just lurking here before my coffee, and this compelled me to sign in. I can't believe the sarcastic comments racing through my mind before it has had any caffeine, even!
I remember a joke that included Almond Joy, Mounds, Whatchamacallit, Butterfinger, Milky Way, O'Henry and maybe a couple of others that I don't recall...yeah. My cousin shared that joke with me. We were 12, haha! I wonder if it is really true that the alcoholic's brain stays at the age level at when they first begin drinking? I'm so relieved that your daughter is blocked from all that.
Love your sense of humor in all this;)
Furthering what Raven Juniper and Mattie said, these are all things to boys do in junior high and high school. Go out with a girl, have an awkward kiss at the end, and tell his buddies the next day that he got to "third base" with her. Not heard the Almond Joy thing, that was my favorite candy bar up until about two minutes ago!
And I'm not sure what people are doing on the 7th floor. I apparently have missed out on that.
Oh - I'm loving the laughter here Serenity!!
El-cee - I'm bowing to the screen in admiration of your straight talking!!
I have no idea what any of these sweets/candies are btw
The drama of what has transpired in the past two years of trying to get divorced is seriously book worthy and I am going to write one .. of course the names will be changed not to protect the innocent parties, .. the children yes .. the players not so much .. lol.
One of the situations that came up was my stbax was sent to the psych ward here in town which is the 7th floor. WHY someone would brag about that or put that information out there on a public page I am completely clueless, however that's just me. There was a large situation because the police involved me in it. My stbax just got a reality check this last week of what I know exactly of his time on that floor. It's good to be the spouse is all I can say .. and it's good that children are involved because boy did they want to protect me and the kids.
On a public page .. that's the part that defies logic .. however .. welcome to an active/newly sober addicts brain. He DEFINATELY doesn't think like I do!!! Honestly .. I'm really past the anger of it all .. I have been for a while .. I'm more in the whole .. this seriously irritates me. Do whatever drama he wants to do .. PLEASE leave the kids and I out of it!
That is one drama of about 20. His atty has finally gotten a big clue about his client and it will end sooner than later.
Hugs, S :)
PS - Sorry about the candy ..
-- Edited by SerenityRUS on Tuesday 22nd of April 2014 05:57:03 AM
__________________
Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Thanks for the explanation. For some people it's more important to let everyone know how they have been maligned. In his mind, he can now say there wasn't a real reason he was on the 7th floor, it's because you drove him there! He has now been absolved of all responsibility of being there.
This kind of thinking is why there is so much emphasis on acceptance in AA, I would think.
Don't worry about me not liking candy, the last frontier I have to deal with in dealing with the nightmares of the past couple years is weight, I haven't been riding my bicycle or eating right, so giving up on some candy is good for me. Thanks for the nudge in the right direction!
It will get ugly and you probably won't ever look at a candy bar the same way. 
and that's the one that seriously sent me over the edge .. I mean the jokes that have been made and the howling that has persisted .. I'm sorry if I sound just as juvenile as he is .. I sooooo needed to hear this because we had been spending way to much time together and I was delusional that he was behaving in a healthy way. OBIVOUSLY .. God needed to remind me other wise. 
