The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Has anyone ever heard of someone being totally addicted to another person. My AS seems to be addicted to a girl. He met her about 3 1/2 yrs ago and that is when his troubles started. I think she is an A too. But he just does not seen to be abel to stay away from her anymore than he can stay sober. At least the bottle or a drug cannot pick up a phone and call the A it's all on the A to go get it. This addiction to a person is a whole different ball game cause she keeps calling,
People are one of the things you can get addicted to...just one. The list goes on and on. I was addicted to my alcoholic/addict in perfect step with the definition of addiction that I learned about in alcoholism and substance abuse. Use the same steps and then it works when you work it and are willing. ((((hugs))))
Like Jerry, I can see how I am addicted to my alcoholic husband. I struggle with finding a balance between it being a healthy attachment, i.e. a loving relationship, and an addiction fuelled by worrying or trying to correct behaviour that is his. So yes, I can definitely relate to being addicted to a person. It is a good question to raise.
Yes Sally, I have seen addiction to a person many times. Most recently, my son's relationship with his GF. I was equally powerless over it as I was over alcohol. The program helped me to stay sane and focus on myself.
Addicted persons are often severely codependent. So yes, this is not uncommon. Even in alanon some of us related to having been "addicted" to our qualifiers. I guess it's for the same reasons. Until we become spiritually centered and develop a support system, we are vulnerable to severe codependency.
I wasn't addicted to a person as much as I was addicted to wanting him to be who I wanted him to be and changing him into that person. He was an A. I wanted him to be a person who wasn't an A. It took me awhile, but I finally figured out that I was trying to have what I truly wanted in a husband and father that would never, ever be that. What a lot of energy that took and it was exactly what I needed to see I needed help to discover my deepest desires and it ended up not being a husband and father at all. I've learned that what appears to be a mistake on the surface can truly be the way to discovering our deepest desires and living those out.
