The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My name is Slogan_Jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon.
Well, as I mentioned in the past I am temporarily back with my dad to save some money for buying a home. So far, so good. Yesterday, he helped me move and he was fine. Sober. Last night he went out, this morning he seemed fine. Didn't appear hung over.
Right now he is out and he's been out for awhile. I don't know where he is. He's certainly under no obligation to tell me, nor I to tell him but I am anticipating the worse and that he will come home hammered.
Thing is, some of those old feelings want to come creeping out but aren't. I feel very detached from the situation. he said he wanted to make me dinner tonight and I know that if he comes home and passes out, I can just make my own, as I have for the last few years. Prior, I never would have thought that. I would have been upset and disappointed and just felt down. I will admit I have a small level of tensions as I don't know what's going to come walking through the door once it does but I can handle it.
Now though compared to the first time, I feel there is an end in sight. I here with the intention of accomplishing a goal. This short-term and I need to remember that.
I need to keep going to meetings and working on myself. I feel like I am all I have.
Thanks for the update, SJ. I'm happy to see that you recognize that you have made a lot of progress and can depend on yourself to take care of yourself and don't need him to do it for you! What a shift for you from what you've written here?
Aloha Jim...keep on working it. Reading your post reminded me of one of our Wednesday night members talking about waiting for the next shoe to drop which caused me to remember which your post just did also. I also remember the lessons on acceptance and killing my expectations and then the lessons on detachment which you are getting. Keep on with the practice and coming to MIP...you're growing and your Dad might be also. ((((hugs))))
