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need some advice
(Preview)
I need some advice on how to explain to my boyfriend that his drinking makes me uncomfortable. He's not an alcoholic, but likes to have a beer or two after work or wine with dinner. Which is fine, but because I grew up with an alcoholic father this everyday-drinking (even if it's not excessive) does make...
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e_t245
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10
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599
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If the hat fits…..
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
I'm in a bit of a dilemma about which hat to wear for Pinkchip's wedding? This might be a bit too Woodstock?? THE LOVING HEART Someone may love you because you are clever Someone may love you because you are wise Someone may love you for beauty or humour The fun in your heart or the light in your eyes But if...
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milkwood
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48
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1043
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Tiny baby steps..
(Preview)
So I'm happy to say that I've started going to f2f meetings, on Tuesdays and Fridays. I'm also reading CAL which has really helped. I'm still very angry when I talk about my Qualifier to my family members and they are quick to remind me of this.. but I'm having trouble letting go of being so angry.. how do I...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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3
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319
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All checked in
(Preview)
We are checked into our wedding suite. It is beautiful with a deck/balcony overlooking downtown Annapolis. Our priest (episcopal) flew in right after us. Parents visited. All is shaping up well. A few last minute cancelations of people but nothing major. Holy crap guys! I'm actually getting marr...
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pinkchip
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23
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544
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Last Day in the Old Job, Vacation and New Job in the Same Workplace
(Preview)
I'm really trying to stay present and grateful and hopeful that this new job in the old workplace will be different but inwardly I'm not believing it for a minute. I've been looking for another job elsewhere but after this experience I don't want to end up somewhere more dysfunctional. I want to make...
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tiredtonite
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11
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480
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Let go and Let God
(Preview)
Hi Everyone. I began going to Al-Anon meetings about a month ago. I have lived with an active alcoholic for the passed 15 years, and it has gotten bad these passed 3or 4 years. I never considered myself having a problem until I began attending the meetings and reading Al-Anon literature. Wow, what an e...
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cloudyskies
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8
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660
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Arrogant Alanoner
(Preview)
The self awareness and revelations just keep coming and I thought I knew it all already. I have not got this completely straight yet in my mind but it just came to me and sometimes writing it out here helps me see it clearly. Step 2 says a power greater than me will restore me to sanity, I got this on one level...
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el-cee
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17
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1163
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Thanks karma13
(Preview)
I have been reading some of the threads and I came across this from krama13, Letting go letting god~ detachment with love. It means I love my husband enough to let him have the dignity to make his own choices. Whether or not I agree with them, and I try try my best one day at a time to work my program, and keep t...
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cloudyskies
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2
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282
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What have you done for me lately?
(Preview)
I just got out of my first session with a counselor. Glad to finely find one that I connect with. I talked about how I am at a crossroads. I am recently separated (for a 2nd time). I feel like that for us to be functioning HE needs to be functioning. The just stopping drinking does not equal functioning. I mo...
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sadsusie
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14
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627
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I really like this one.....
(Preview)
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PP
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11
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432
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A thing my Momma told me
(Preview)
that was confirmed years later in recovery and maybe she was speaking from her awareness and experience regarding alcoholism in her/family and wasn't saying alcoholism. We had a cat "Snowy" who had kittens. Blacky was the poppa and the kittens were either white...or...black. One o...
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Jerry F
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12
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622
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So, that's it, my Qualifier wife and I are separating
(Preview)
Here's my story/share: My wife and I have been married for 12 years and together 16. We have 2 children 5 and 9 months. My wife is almost 2 years sober (in September). Last year was a m*******r of a year. After debating whether or not to have another kid, I convinced my wife to get pregnant and then it al...
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NewAndImprovedMe
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2
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605
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God Grant Me
(Preview)
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Cathyinaz
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3
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314
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Can AH do this?
(Preview)
My STBEXAH bought my daughter concert tickets for her birthday. I happy for my daughter to be able to see her favorite singer, but I have a couple issues. First the concert is out of state, she will have to travel 1200 miles to go to the concert. Secondly, the concert is during my week with her. My S...
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mongowal
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6
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501
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Any point even hoping for better?
(Preview)
so my adult son decided a week ago to detox/cut down. It was unbearable seeing him do this when I visited. But, a week on, he's not drunk as much - claims to have had nothing for 2 days. He's been to 1 AA meeting. Says he'll continue. Yesterday his work said he was to be disciplined for poor performance (they...
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MCALANON
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8
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579
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mixed feelings
(Preview)
I'm packing my apt and I'm getting ready to make my big move. My job starts Aug 4th. I move in a couple weeks to get settled in before I start. It's all very exciting and sad at the same time. I start to pack and I start to cry. I get mixed emotions. My HP has aligned everything for me from the new job to the apt and...
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texasgal
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8
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614
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Yeah, I'm in a stuck place!
(Preview)
AH and I had (another) big talk on Monday night. I've been building up to this for a while, but was waiting until our kids were out of the house for camp. Actually, I was planning to tell him I wanted a divorce, but I've been dithering around for ages, not able to make that final decision. Then (I posted abou...
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NL14
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7
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500
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Mixed Emotions ..
(Preview)
I'm neither sad or happy at the moment or maybe it's a combination of both .. I wish I had a better word for it. Disappointment maybe is a better word. The divorce date and time has passed and now I wait for a new date .. ugh .. I hate the waiting and realized that this is probably the God of my understandings...
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SerenityRUS
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11
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485
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Conflict?
(Preview)
As a Christain, I struggled with AlAnon's HP as my HP is the God of heaven and earth, Creator. Can I work the program with God as my HP? Will I be allowed to? Does the program contradict the Word of God? Well, I have prayed and searched the Scriptures and there is a little fuzzy in the "ME" aspect,...
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blessed
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7
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480
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Crossroads
(Preview)
I have to make a decision about a part time job I currently have at a woman's consignment clothing store and I am so torn. I enjoy this job, I like the customers, I get to shop while I work, I sing to the music and I get to enjoy the pretty clothes. Many of you may recall, I encountered a young man this past win...
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PP
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27
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799
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I am paranoid
(Preview)
So I have issues. I see 13 people have read my post about living in a crazy life...nobody replies so my head starts spinning!! I start questioning if I should have posted at all. I am trusting online strangers to help me. But you really aren;t strangers, right? We understand living with alcoholism. I am...
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Newlife girl
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15
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620
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Why can't I let go?
(Preview)
Yesterday, my AH and I went to the beach. Our kids had left for camp earlier in the morning, so it was just the two of us. I've been thinking this time alone would be a good time to address our problems...again...and to tell him I want to end our marriage, and I've been dreading/anticipating the weeks when...
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NL14
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15
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713
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Shocked
(Preview)
Own property in Ash Fork in Coconino County AZ. Got a letter from the county assessors office asking for information on the Manufactured Home built on the property??? WHAT!!!! Somebody just decided to set up living on our property. What a mess we have on our hands. I hope we can get the coun...
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Cathyinaz
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16
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677
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY
(Preview)
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Cathyinaz
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7
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306
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Ah Ha Moment - with my enabling
(Preview)
I am working on the first few steps and had a moment of clarity today. I am learning to sit back and quietly feel my emotions and to figure out where they are coming from. Today at work I was feeling so frustrated and overwhelmed and realized it was because I couldn't so no to requests and also try to contr...
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slowlearner
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7
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572
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That was easy
(Preview)
This evening I had already showered and had on PJs when know there was a knock on the door. My AH rarely answers the door, or the phone or does anything at all around the house, etc. Another knock. I called out, "Can you answer the door? I'm in my pajamas." He did, with a huff (he huggs/sighs a lot...
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blessed
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6
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409
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Any point even hoping for better?
(Preview)
so my adult son decided a week ago to detox/cut down. It was unbearable seeing him do this when I visited. But, a week on, he's not drunk as much - claims to have had nothing for 2 days. He's been to 1 AA meeting. Says he'll continue. Yesterday his work said he was to be disciplined for poor performance (they...
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MCALANON
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4
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339
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A lot to think about
(Preview)
Today I find I'm back in my head again wondering if I made right choices . Feeling like I failed in so many ways . I hate this side of me that allows the negative thinking take over anything positive thought I have going on . I'm going back to step one again . I think it's the hardest step to pass . Why can't I acc...
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Wisdom67
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8
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521
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The Phone Is In My Hand
(Preview)
I'm ready to call the attorney and give her the green light on filing my divorce papers. Before I tell my story of the weekend, let me say that there were a few times in this year of my husband's sobriety where I thought things seemed odd and wondered if he was drinking but he would get in his car with the cou...
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wornoutmrsfixit
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16
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716
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power of A's denial
(Preview)
Denial is a truly amazing defense mechanism. I think I was in it for many yrs re: the seriousness of my A's problems. And the A is in it so deeply~everything is OK, there are no problems, and what am I still concerned with? And before I got stronger, the A could manipulate me and confuse me. Once when I k...
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Lyne
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11
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699
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Back to the NA beer!
(Preview)
My AH has been going to AA meetings now for about 3 weeks. I do not know if he is working with a sponsor since we barely communicate with each other and he really doesn't even talk about where he's going or telling us he's going to a meeting, etc. He has not told our son about his recover, either. I came hom...
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andromeda
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15
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647
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A glimpse into crazy
(Preview)
Just feeling numb from it all. Please give me your thoughts after reading. Desperately need understanding people who get what I am going through. All I am trying to do is get along with my AH. We are still not living together. He still doesn't have a job. I have to realize I am powerless over the fact he has...
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Newlife girl
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9
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503
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New here...need advice
(Preview)
Hello. This is my first time here, and I am not even sure where to start. I have been with my husband for 10 years. When we met, I had just lost my husband to suicide. I felt lonely and abandoned and he made me feel loved. We started dating, and very soon I began drinking very heavily with him (He was/is a...
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Amy3311
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9
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460
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I never learn
(Preview)
I guess I'm a gotten for punishment Im home from vacationing,and my a bf calls me 3 days later and says why didn't you call me and let me know you were home ,I told him it didn't matter,he pleaded with me to let him come to my home and I give in and said come on over well he acted NORMAL for a little while then his s...
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lookingup
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6
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525
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New and seeking advice
(Preview)
I am new here, seeking advice. My brother is in his late 50's, dx'ed with anxiety, depression and PTSD. He has lived with our parents for the last 18 years and has had bouts of alcholism during that time. He is currently living alone and it is challenging for him. He isn't eating well, has started dri...
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CarryOn
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13
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625
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Music is good for the soul
(Preview)
Good Morning Everyone I woke up this morning in the pits. On my way to work I usually listen to talk radio but this morning the guest host pissed me off so I turn the channel. I turned it to a oldies station. One of my favor songs back in the day was " Brown Eyed Girl " by Van Morrison. WOW......
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Cathyinaz
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16
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2402
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Struggling with his recovery
(Preview)
Me and my boyfriend have been together almost two years. We met while we were both in rehab for alcoholism 3 years ago but he went back drinking initally so we didn't begin a relationship until almost a year later when he came back into recovery. Since then things have been good. We had our little spats li...
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lorraine
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7
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533
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Alateen sponsors? your experience?
(Preview)
The last few weeks I feel I have been called to possibly be alateen sponsor? I feel like I need to expand my program a little bit, have some new experiences and it weighs on my mind here and there...my intuition..my hp..Has anyone on the board ever been one? if so what was it like? please share your esh Hugs...
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karma13
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2
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374
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Will be in Akron/Canton Ohio 3-6th of July
(Preview)
If you live in the Akron/Canton Ohio area, my girlfriend and I will be camping at KOA Sparta, about 30 minutes from Akron, in the Canton area. We are planning to enjoy festivities and 4th of July fireworks in Downtown Canton on the 4th, and visiting Dr. Bob's house and a few other AA related sites in Akro...
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John
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6
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385
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Working the steps, or not.
(Preview)
This morning I attended a morning version of another group I have attended 3-4 times. I really like this group. I go in thinking I have me all together, and leave knowing I have a lot of work to do. That's a good thing, right? lol! Well, this mornnng was different. When I left I was almost in tears. I was anxi...
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blessed
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7
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493
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What am I supposed to do?!
(Preview)
Hello, I am here because after 11 years of being sober my husband is know drinking again. Hes trying to "control" it by fighting his demons so he says. Trying to drink as little as possible so that he can get to where he needs to be ie feeling crappy enough about life with alcohol in it that it m...
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MarionF
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5
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647
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forgiveness
(Preview)
I am struggling a lot with forgiving my AH for the things he has done. He cheated on me once (that I know of) 2 yrs ago before we got married and he's done a lot of stupid crap that has made me feel like a fool, publicly embarrassed me, hurt me emotionally, physically abused me and has lied millions of times. I...
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deramam
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13
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5026
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Gratitude
(Preview)
Feeling the pain of unacknowledged thank yous. I recently gave some gifts to four of my grandchildren.....not one said thanks. Hurts. As they involved some hard work and sacrifice. Smacks of doing for the alcoholic and receiving nothing but contempt in response. Is there something wr...
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Rusty Angel
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5
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384
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reaching bottom
(Preview)
I went to an aa convention the other night and the aa speaker really moved me. He was talking about the hell his life had been, homeless, life support a few times, begging for money, lost every family member, a common story. Nothing unusual really, he then talked about his surrender and his journey in aa...
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el-cee
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9
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547
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Would love input/perspectives
(Preview)
Hi, I will try and make this as short as possible. I am trying to decide how to move forward regarding a relationship that I was in for three years, but that was ended (by him) three months ago. I have been pretty devastated since then, which brought up a lot of my codependent issues that had been hiding (...
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LivinginthePresent
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9
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558
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Is it time for me to move on...?
(Preview)
I've been doing alot of soul searching lately and have realized that my AH and I are not really happy people. He has his life-which involves alot of drinking. And I have my life which I have mostly distanced myself from anything to do with his alcoholic behavior. We have two separate lives most of the...
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slowlearner
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5
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551
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AH Marriage and the 1/2 way house rules.
(Preview)
Whew, so I have to ask questions and also tell what I did that was completely insane. My AH went to a 1/2 house probably 30 days ago. He called me the day he left at 9 AM and said I have to go in there today by 1pm. I said ok, well let's hope this is a good thing, do you need anything etc. He said no he had what he neede...
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Flower49
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11
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809
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what can I do for me on the next day after my AH was drinking
(Preview)
Hi! My AH was drinking yesterday. I'm feeling sooo bad. I have headache and I'm crying. I realize that I powerless before my illness. AH doesn't understand why I'm crying. He invites me to go somewhere and have fun. I'm ACOA and I realize that I need love and support. But because low self esteem I kee...
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salvie
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13
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531
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Looking for Advice
(Preview)
I'm very torn on this topic and am hoping for some alanon advice. My sister is currently in rehab for the 5th or 6th time and today is her birthday. She and I were very close growing up, but have grown more and more apart over the last 8 years of her active use. We get closer during periods of her recovery o...
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Shibbydoo
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6
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7798
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I am scared
(Preview)
I have a 29-year-old daughter who is currently living with her boyfriend in her car. They are both opioid addicts. She is currently on suboxone and he is on methadone. She is employed thankfully. her boyfriend is living off of her (no job in a year). I have been doing well detaching and letting her l...
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robind78
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5
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447
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Should I tell my husband TO NOT ask my daughter to get beer for him from the fridge?
(Preview)
Hello. It is 12:10pm here and although my husband has been awake for a while he was all the time in bed on his tablet (he did work had the whole week so I am not begrudging him for being in bed on his 1st day off after 6 days at work) however... He never had breakfast or anything to it but just asked my our 7 year ol...
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Luiza
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24
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706
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Irritable
(Preview)
And not because I don't know it .. I know it .. lol. I am in a HALT mode as well as the extra H, hormonal as well it's that time of the month for sure. I had some weird things happen over the last couple of days .. as if getting so close to my divorce date and then my atty having a stroke isn't bizzaro enough .. My S...
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SerenityRUS
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6
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441
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Not so good actions followed by good actions
(Preview)
I am a work in progress. Working al anon every day in all areas of my life. The other day I decided to go online and check up on my AH. He posts on this very immature and offensive website. a few months ago he promised me he wouldn't post anything offensive about me or my kids. I told him I didn't care because I w...
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Newlife girl
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7
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427
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New to group, insight/advice needed
(Preview)
Hi. I'm new here, and reaching out looking for some guidance. My husband had a drinking problem - not sure if he's an alcoholic, but definitely abuses alcohol (drinks beer/wine, anywhere from 3-5 days a week, usually to the point of being buzzed or intoxicated). He is definitely drinking more frequ...
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k80
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3
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421
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The Right Kind of Help
(Preview)
I have only been at AlAnon for 3-4 weeks, but jumped in w/ both feet online, f2f, forum, and FB. I haved learned so much, and given up on some lies that I beleived. First, was my too long pursuit to find "someone/ anyone" that would make my AH stop drinking and be a leader in our family. Counselor...
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blessed
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5
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349
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Meeting/Chat Room Questions
(Preview)
I was looking at the details in the FAQ section regarding the meeting/chat room. Can someone please tell me if members on the message board use the same nickname for the meetings/chat or should we use a different name? Also, do many go into the chat room just to talk when they feel like sharing thought...
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LiveLaughLove
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10
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621
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NEW Al-Anon App with daily sharing's , quotes etc Can be used on computers too
(Preview)
Hello fellow recovery people! I wanted to let you all know about a FREE app I made for smart phones, tablets etc., both Apple devices and Android based devices. It's an Al-Anon App that has daily sharings from The Forum, Al-anon's monthly magazine, a daily reflection and daily quote. You can find/i...
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BRAlanon
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8
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16147
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huh?
(Preview)
My mother just sent me a message, it was very long but basically i love you, I know you are feeling like poo, I'm sorry, I know you try so hard to work on yourself and I'm proud of you, and if you come home I won't pick on you I'll just do everything i can to support you BUT I cannot abide people sleeping all day so...
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missmeliss
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13
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693
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He relapsed
(Preview)
I got a call this afternoon from the director of the sober living house where my son has been for the last 4 months. Seems he came to the house meeting clearly intoxicated and when they searched his room they found empty bottles, including mouthwash. He was taken to the ER and will be sent to detox. They ar...
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Rose50
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14
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780
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And here comes the drama
(Preview)
I knew this wedding would not go off like a fairy tale. Future mother in law decided to tell my partner that having a big wedding at his age is "gauche" and it's too expensive and more than we can afford. She barely helped anyway. Really, I believe she doesn't want to be bothered flying up and s...
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pinkchip
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25
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762
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