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I think I don't want to lose this relationship
(Preview)
I grew up in alcoholic family and have attended alanon meetings in another state. They were great. I have tried several meetings where I now live, and have not found any to be as helpful. I'm really struggling with judging others. My marriage of a year and half is great, my wife is very forgiving, ve...
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kidznrs
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12
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500
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Started the new counseling
(Preview)
Well my week went better. I started the new counseling and we are going to do a lot of safety planning.
The exchanges were okay. He tried to get me out of the public facility by standing in the parking lot for twenty minutes. I just stayed inside and reported it to the police. They were just going to respo...
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Truth
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2
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255
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Advice about my AH's "emotional" Infidelity...for now.
(Preview)
I'm not sure where to begin but I sure could use some advice. I recently found out my AH's what I call "emotional" infidelity - Texting another woman from AA. He said they are just "friends" but when you spend an unbelievable amount of time texting each other and then seeing eac...
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MeeToo
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15
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1430
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Just because the A is aggravated with me, doesn't make it my fault nor does it require me to be defensive or hurt.
(Preview)
I have found it much easier to deal with my AH now that we live separately. God bless us, we sure do still love each other, and I pray that we make it through. None-the-less He is hard to live with. He certainly brings a HUGE energy into the room, whether it is for the good or for the bad. That is one of the thing...
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sadsusie
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6
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497
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Still have not heard from my son..
(Preview)
Well from the last I knew my son was in jail and got released. He never called me so I really don't know how to take that.. but as spiritual as I am I pray to my HP to shield me with his armor and send his angels to protect my son. Lots of meetings and great face to face support helps me understand what I need to con...
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Gaby
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6
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255
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I find myself moved more now....
(Preview)
By movie quotes - things I might not have paid much attention to until I started paying attention to the world through Al-Anon eyes. Eventually, all things merge into one................... and a river runs through it. What are your favorite movie phrases? I am haunted by waters...... How do you pic...
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likemyheart
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10
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443
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Crabby Appleton and Mercy
(Preview)
As you know, I'm only a few days from retiring and a few days from doing my part to dissolve the organization I created about 27 years ago. The workload has been intense. The people around me needy in part because I am retiring. And I am tired, tired, tired on all levels. I will remain tired until Tuesd...
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grateful2be
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20
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373
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Failed.
(Preview)
Can't put it much more simply than that can I? I made it all the way to the end of the test, then found myself in a traffic situation I haven't encountered before and, I simply didn't know what the rule was and made the wrong call; instant fail. Felt so bad because I had gotten everything right up until then a...
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missmeliss
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12
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501
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Ah ha moment
(Preview)
My A has always been the kind of man that would not go to the dentist or doctor, etc, I was always reminding, begging, nagging, until one day I just said, "if you want your teeth to fall out, fine. I am done." Actually, a friend of mine said, "I stopped doing that and I just make sure the life...
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blessed
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7
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334
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Pruning time
(Preview)
This was in an online newsletter that I subscribe to and I found it appropriate for what I must do - Let Go & Let God. (edited for our purposes) The other day I was standing outside a restaurant right next to a tree that had recently been pruned. I was caring on a conversation with a friend but in the bac...
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blessed
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2
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219
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Sister's wedding: update
(Preview)
My sister was married last Thursday and it was beautiful. I had so much built up anxiety about it because of my strained relationship with her and our parents. A huge thunderstorm rolled in just as the ceremony began. She was married on a covered deck so it was very dramatic. Everyone was filled with exc...
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StargazerLily
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5
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419
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I decided to call him
(Preview)
He finally answered my call I debated on wether to call him since he wasn't tryin to even get in touch with me ,I started right off fussing at him ,he is of few words lately I told him I was tired of his bs and he said why I told him the way he was actin weird he said he was feeling weird that he was dizzy he dont make...
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lookingup
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10
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425
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HP AT WORK???
(Preview)
Hi Everyone I'm finally home and relaxing after a hard days work. My company is completely overhauling our manufacturing processes with new servers, software and every thing else you can think of. I'm one of the core team putting this together so hours and hours of extra work is now in our plates. T...
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Cathyinaz
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8
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392
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Just say no....
(Preview)
So the ex-A returned and tried to push the boundaries of the court order. I stuck to my boundary and said no. It actually got returned with an "ok".
I will see how the exchanges go this week.
I did catch him in a lie however I just chose to document it in my journal.
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Truth
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12
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392
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Visualising success….
(Preview)
This is for you Melly
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milkwood
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8
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322
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Now being harassed from ex mother inlaw
(Preview)
I'm sorry to say this but I will not be posting anything more here not even positive not only do I have my ex A watching everything I post I got a nasty email from my active ex mother. In law badgering me . I just got done dealing with this crap and now I'm being harassed from another state. I thank you all for yo...
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Wisdom67
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16
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2901
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Never stayed clean after rehab - now so angryu
(Preview)
I need some advice from those of you who have experience extreme anger, resentment, paranoia from their addict. My AS works for our family business (or used to, he walked out yesterday) and he has become even more angry, resentful and paranoid since coming out of rehab in Dec. I have never believed he s...
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Sallygcoe
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3
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266
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Is using the term "qualifier" some kind of Al Anon rule??
(Preview)
Honestly, I don't like the term qualifier. Is it some kind of unspoken rule that we refer to the A in our lives as a qualifier? It just sound so secretive and odd to me. Am I the only one that feels this way?? Why can't we be honest and just say who the A is?? I like being honest in my shares...so I don't use this t...
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Newlife girl
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12
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5673
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Acknowledging I am an adult child of an alcoholic
(Preview)
Yesterday I acknowledged for the first time I am a survivior of an alcoholic parent. This came about through therapy for an unrelated (or so I believed) issue and I am angry. For the first time I understand why I behave the way I do, the emotional neglect I survived and the blame I carry with me every day. I...
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Survivor55
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9
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506
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6 Days and .. WTH happened???
(Preview)
Well .. as I type this .. I just can't believe I'm actually typing this .. I'm not going to be divorced on 7/1 .. the reason? My atty suffered a stroke. Yes, .. you read that right .. I'm really in shock that this has and is happening. Now there are some good news things .. first off my atty is ok consideri...
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SerenityRUS
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9
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456
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getting de-programmed
(Preview)
I had the thought this morning that alanon is de-programming me from the crazy cult I was in with my A! My thinking got distorted, I lost my self-esteem, I became obsessed with what my A was doing, and I didn't have my own life. This is exactly what happens in cults-you loose yourself and let someone els...
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Lyne
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2
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200
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If you left your A, how did you do it?
(Preview)
Hi all, sorry in advance if this is a little long. I'm new to Al-Anon. I've been married to my A for 20 years (as of last week), unhappily for at least the last 6 or so. He's been active on and off for most of our marriage, but fully active for the last couple of years. He's what you might call a "functiona...
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NL14
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10
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510
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new to this hurting so much
(Preview)
hello - I am new to all this since cNov 2013. Been attending al anon 6 weeks - am not religious but it helps. My lovely son 38 is binge drinking since Nov 2013 when his partner left with baby girl (14 months), He's always been lonely and sad and, it seems, drunk too much in secret for 20 years to ease the p...
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MCALANON
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20
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677
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Finanes
(Preview)
Because I am a "math" person; and have been in financial positions most of my career and that stuff just comes natural to me, I have always taken care of the family finances. My AH has always had a good job (in between layoffs) but has provided a good income to the family. Even though I have a bud...
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blessed
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10
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340
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Opinions wanted ASAP!
(Preview)
My AH left Sunday night after he asked if he could go on a four wheeler ride. I knew it sounded like a bad idea but I said yes anyways because he was already out and would have done it if I had said no anyways. Well I asked him to be back in an hour-hour and 30 mins since I needed to go to the store and get OTC pain med...
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deramam
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10
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512
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how to stop enabling my Qualifier
(Preview)
I'm very very very slowly working my way back to f2f meetings..and I understand that going just to meetings won't help me as much as if I go to said meetings, find a sponsor and work the program. That being said..what are some ways I can stop enabling my Qualifier?...before I work on getting a sponsor. I f...
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phoenixmagicgirl
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11
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652
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Dear Alanons.............
(Preview)
Dear alanons I am not going to try to name you all, because I would be so sad if I left one of you out. So I shall write globally to all of you. I want to express my deepest thanks for those of you who helped me learn and grow and become the person that I am and the person I have hopes of being... Even those of y...
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neshema2
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17
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570
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Want off the victim triangle....
(Preview)
I don't know if it is just me but now I am noticing defense mechanisms. Can optimism be a defense mechanism?
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Truth
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23
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681
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Is my wife Addicted to her Pain Meds ??
(Preview)
My wife or really soon to be ex wife takes pain meds for her back . She says she has a slipped disck and had scoliosis as a child. I do not recall her injury during our marraige. Of course when I tell he that hse would say " How dare you for not beliveing me and how can you forget my inhury. Here is what...
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Bry27
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18
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1593
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Found out ..
(Preview)
my former friend is not as far along as I had hoped for her to be .. she has been relapsing probably on a regular basis .. I really hope and pray that she finds peace in the program .. I remind myself she's going back and there is always hope .. I was right to pull away when I did and allow things to play out. She i...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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318
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Eating my elephant.
(Preview)
This past week hasn't been the easiest I've ever had. But, one foot in front of the other, you know. Cat peed on one of my pillows to cheer me up; I threw it out and the next day he peed on my other pillow- he always knows just how to make things better! No pillows for me for a while because I can't afford anythi...
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missmeliss
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26
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677
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Happy Birthday Erica
(Preview)
She would have been 36 years old today. She passed at the age of 12 from cancer. She was my childhood best friend. There are no coincidences. I feel truly blessed to have had the chance to have known such a beautiful soul here on earth at such a young age. Although sorrow in her passing she left us with an acc...
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Mari1978
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4
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348
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New husband who is 10 years sober.
(Preview)
I'm an old acquaintance here. Love Alanon...and what it did for me years ago when I was in a long term relationship with a very active alcoholic. Well...as it turns out. I left him...and stayed single for years. I then met a beautiful man...who as it turns out...was an A too. Go figure!!! This man though...
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newday
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6
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528
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Being Banned from Al-Anon for Being Late
(Preview)
I, as well as many others walk in late to meetings. I have medical issues, etc making it difficult to walk. Some of the seasoned members came together outside of the group and decided they want to ban me for coming in late. One of the other members who was speaking and I walked in quietly, getting a copy of...
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licoricecat
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24
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1112
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Control
(Preview)
This is a word that means a different things to different people; generally it is spoken of as a bad thing. My A spouse loves to say I am controlling. However, I have thought about this and meditated on it and to be "in control" is not nescesarily a bad thing. Someone has to be. We expect adults t...
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blessed
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3
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505
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|
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Not sure really what to say...
(Preview)
I've never posted on a message board before so excuse me if this is not the correct way to go about it. I am assuming I just share a little bit of info and go from there but please tell me if this is incorrect. Here's some information about me and my situation: I have been married to an alcoholic for 8 years now...
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leslina
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14
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538
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I just passed on a pals 50th B-Day party, am I wrong?
(Preview)
A pal is having his 50th today. It was supposed to be 1-5 by the club pool, then dinner at 6. I went to the club and he had left everybody to go pass out, so everyone was just sitting around talking about him. I figured maybe he would be OK for dinner. So my wife and I get all dressed up, (her in a new outfit I bough...
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Quanttrader
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16
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427
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STEP 9
(Preview)
http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t57909945/alanon-step-9/
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hotrod
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0
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121
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On vacation
(Preview)
Daughter and kids are in for a visit,we all decided to take a week in destin Fla.beautiful place,I don't see my a bf but very little he says he is working all the time so he seldom calls and hardly ever answer my calls.i don't understand him anymore I don't know what's going on with him he went from loveing m...
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lookingup
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6
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493
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letter from parents to adult alcoholic son - good idea or not?
(Preview)
as noted in a post elsewhere on here recently, I'm new to Al Anon having discovered my AS is binge drinking since Nov 2013. I've seen reference to people writing to the A explaining 1 they are loved but 2 all the damage/loss the drinking has caused. I've even seen the odd 'template' online. Does Al Anon...
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MCALANON
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7
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580
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|
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OlderGal
(Preview)
Hey are you OK up there. I heard about the 8.0 Earthquake. Look like it's far from you. Let us know Cathy -- Edited by Cathyinaz on Monday 23rd of June 2014 04:51:01 PM
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Cathyinaz
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5
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207
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15 minute share
(Preview)
I have a question about a meeting i attend. One person there always Speaks for 15 minutes and i feel it comes from a place of ego. I get Very impatient with her. She tells her story but in the process is trying To educate us. Does every group have someone like this? She is the Same person that raises h if there...
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Mirandac
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12
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621
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Sobriety baby
(Preview)
Hi all, I have not been on for a while although still been attending my face to face meetings. I just wanted to share my good news with you all. 5 weeks ago I got my first Grand child a little girl 6lb 3 Kiera she is beautiful and the first child to be born while we have sobriety in our home. In the dark days I cou...
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Tracy
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7
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297
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Great weekend..
(Preview)
Considering all.. It was a great weekend and my daughter was such a beautiful flower girl..
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Gaby
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10
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235
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Is he trying to find an excuse? Too much information...Sorry...
(Preview)
Hi. Since finding MIP and going to my 1st meeting I have been practicing the 1st step and the slogans and I have been improving so much. On my last thread I explained how H came drunk on Monday and I didn't fight and treated him with silence. He has been baffled since and didn't get drunk on Tuesday and Wedne...
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Luiza
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29
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937
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11 Days ..
(Preview)
11 Days and counting .. I am ok, then not, then ok again and then not. I'm kind of laughing at myself .. I used to do the whole he's been gone for xyz days .. LOL .. now I'm on the reverse count down and it's a mixed bag of feelings, facts and number crunching. I guess I am the odd man out on this and I have found I c...
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SerenityRUS
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8
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449
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I will be honest ...
(
1 2
)
(Preview)
There are some people in here that regardless how I share what I feel at the moment make me feel low. For one NESHEMA. You make me feel as if I have to things your way. As I read my esh you down talk me. That deeply hurts because here as every one else. As much as you say take what you want and leave the rest.. You ?...
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Gaby
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47
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1283
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Struggling with an old defect
(Preview)
I'm having a lot of difficulty with staying on my own side of the street lately. My recovering abf is working through some financial issues and I'm interfering in his life. He shares his financial woes and I then give him unsolicited advice. I'm trying to rescue him from the fallout of poor decision...
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tiredtonite
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8
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398
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Very nice day ..
(Preview)
The kids are with their dad and they spent a short time or what I would call a short time with him yesterday. Apparently he is still driving the green car and I do believe there are some hiccups because the kids asked him straight out if he bought it. His answer .. sort of .. how do you sort of buy a car .. wel...
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SerenityRUS
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5
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292
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is there an abbreviation list?
(Preview)
if there is, could anyone please post a link to it? thanks!
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barbaralewis
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8
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1826
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Hotdogs
(Preview)
I just ate a cold cheddar dog for breakfast - I know they aren't good for me, but I ate one anyway. I worked in my yard a bit before it got hot, gotta go clean a neighbors bathrooms because I'm a softie and can't say no; hey I will be old someday and not able to do the physical work involved in cleaning a bathroom...
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likemyheart
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7
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301
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Nerves.
(Preview)
I know everyone suffers from them but for me, they get way out of control. Like I've never danced in public; if you drag me onto the dance floor I'll just stand there looking at my feet until you let me slink away. If an entertainer calls me out in a crowd I won't reply, I just can't. I'll look at my feet until t...
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missmeliss
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18
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472
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im a goldfish
(Preview)
I cant concentrate!!!!! I have the concentration of a fish. I have a deadline, the days are counting down to have this work done. I have 3 more days and im up and down, checking on here, tidying up, doing the work then oh wait, il have a cup of tea, il phone such and such. Whaŕaaaaa. Procrastination is my spe...
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el-cee
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10
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439
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how can I be happy when you are in despair?
(Preview)
My daughter is in suicidal despair. It literally breaks my heart. She is threatened with losing her children in a bitter custody battle, long story. I have done everything in my power to support, cheer, guide, cajole, advise her. I know I am powerless, codependent, etc but it is baffling to me...
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Rusty Angel
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8
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453
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A Prayer
(Preview)
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el-cee
|
6
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604
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MEETING #1 (finally)
(Preview)
I just sat in on my first online meeting. Only a few people in it, but it was good. I didn't really share, but am hoping the next one I'm more open. I feel like I have such a LONG, HUGE mess that I wouldn't know where to start! Do I tell my story or do I share parts of it? I don't wanna D R A G it out but also need to star...
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JayBird66
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5
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155
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pinkchip, SerenityRUS, Cathyinaz, milkwood, ClearTheFog, el-cee, grateful2be, missmeliss, oldergal, yanksfan51
(Preview)
Just saw ya'll were on with me and wanted to throw a big hello out to each of you! John
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John
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13
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382
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HAPPY 1st DAY OF SUMMER EVERYONE!!!!!!
(Preview)
well today begins summer....May it bring us more happiness/ health/ abundance in all good things... I am waiting for my dinner to cook and just realized that today is 1st day of summer for us northern hemisphere folks anyway.... My public pool is closed for season...repairs...real bad to lose the se...
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neshema2
|
6
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284
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When you're chasing the A more than your kids....
(Preview)
There are nights that I literally have to chase my AH around the house. It's more exhausting than chasing my children all day. This man is not only dangerously impulsive when he drinks, but he also tends to walk around after he's fallen asleep (I know, I can't catch a break even when I think he's down for t...
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watchdog1999
|
9
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375
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|
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OCD
(Preview)
I used to behave like a dog. Smelling AH, looking at bank account, calling him to encourage him to come home... In the beginning of my disease, I believed him when he said he did not drink. In the middle, I doubted him occasionally, towards the later part, I do not believe any of his words. The interesting...
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sunshine23
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4
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715
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