Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Bettertomorrow · Bettertomorrow

So it's been nearly 5 months now since I asked my AH to leave, which he did. However, and maybe it's this seemingly neverending lockdown, but I feel lonelier than ever - even though I know that I was 'alone' even when I was with him. There are times when I feel good, but times when I find myself rememberi...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page suggests that we progress substantially in our recovery when we see Alcoholism as a disease. It is often not seen as other diseases as it has no single, known cause, but can be just as destructive. We cannot cure it but are more likely able to help if we recognize it as a serious illness.Remi...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 2/15, talks about working the program and how one actually can accomplish this: -going to meetings and learning about alcoholism -reading the literature and listening -being around people who speak the alanon language -being patient and putting in effort Eventually prog...

JerryF · JerryF

What a pleasant wonderful morning though I woke up after fruitless sleep. It was the usual PTSD sleep process, ages old with some workable changes. I dreamt of sessions I had in the past with my deceased sponsor Don.T. on the lessons of feelings being choices. When he first mentioned that to me I se...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of simply listening to others when they are sharing. The writer describes walking with his wife and answering every statement she starts to make with a comparison from his own life. Most of her sentences were interrupted by her husband...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today's Reminder: "A sponsor or trusted Al-Anon friend can help me see that I have value just as I am." The reading in Courage to Change today is about being an individual/comparing ourselves to others. Each snowflake is different... everyone has a unique thumbprint, and despite our common problem...

DavidG · DavidG

Worked last week on a project over on the coast. and had a happy weekend with my SO and pooch. A long holiday weekend for us. We had a domestic which lasted about 40 mins. This was a record for shortness. In the day these used to go on the weeks and months. Did a whole heap of washing last night. There is r...

Paloma Negra · Paloma Negra

It's been several long months since leaving my AH and in those months I've been staying with a dear friend who is like a sister to me. The clarity of looking back over the years and relationship was needed but (and I was warned about the possibility of this happening) but living with my friend has brought...

JerryF · JerryF

Got up this AM with work to do that I had pending for 3 days by inventory. I had to finish the inventory with some self centered behavior I relapsed into days ago. It didn't feel fair, just and honest and most of that was due to letting it linger. My mind body and spirit kept me focused on the subject and I...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading suggests that detachment is a choice we can make. The author noticed that it was easy to detach from the moods of casual friends -- but with family members, it was hard to avoid taking on someone's negative moods and attitudes. The solution was to pay attention to their own mood befor...

Debb · Debb

The first of the twelve steps in Al-Anon, it is suggested, should leave no doubt where we stand when it comes to dealing withalcoholic situations. Admitting we are powerless over alcohol" might challenge our need to control the chaos, because weautomatically want to fix this, but the step goes on t...

Debb · Debb

Todays reading has to do with how clearly and honestly we see our present circumstances. The reading goes on to say that we should be at peace and not fall victim to harboring resentment and self-pity.The reading suggests that when we compare our lives with that of others that it is then that the destr...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about one of the effects of alcoholism - many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements, and desires. Through work in the Al-Anon program, we can learn to know, appreciate, and express our true selves. Imagination can take p...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page encourages consideration of the futility of time spent trying to determine why the alcoholic drinks. Even if we had that info and limitless time and money to treat it clinically, there is no guaranty of success for their recovery.Reminder: The alcoholic can find recovery in the rooms o...

JerryF · JerryF

This is the slogan that has protected my mind, body, spirit and emotions and was passed on to me right after my very first AGF meeting. It has caused me to understand Step One and in response have a much different life than when I started recovery around 2/8/79 and get totally involved on many levels inc...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about comparing ourselves to others, in a competitive way, as a motivation to do better. The writer describes doing this in order to seek praise. The writer was judging others and him/herself harshly enough that ultimately no one measures up. Going to alan...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 2/8, talks about seeing cheerful, smiling people when we first enter the rooms. We are astonished, says the author, as we didnt think it possible, if those people have the same problems we do. And down the road, we could even find out their problems are worse than mine! Remind...

sunmustshine · sunmustshine

Sharing a positive moment I had this week. It was the clearest evidence Ive seen of the program working when you work it. I have a new boss. This always scares the heck out of me. I always worry their expectations wont line up with my needs, theyll think I suck at my job, theyll hate me and Ill lose my job. Mea...

DavidG · DavidG

??? A close friend... ...I have years of experience behind me. I can manage now. "Jack"...hmmm... in recent times I tend to say that the only qualifier I bring to a meeting is myself... ...not sure how this sits with Alanon... because sometimes I don't know where anything sits with everyone and eve...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Dear Readers, Today's reading in Courage to Change was about our thinking, and how when distorted, we can try and force solutions. We tend to not want to wait-- we want things fixed NOW! However, many times, the best course of action is... inaction. Sometimes it is wise to wait and see. As the saying goe...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Do you ever feel like stopping time & not reflecting on the past so much? It has been almost exactly a month since I posted on here. I am dealing a lot w/ gratitude as a way to let go of the past a little. I don't want to focus on those things that made me feel horrible in the past & make each day count by b...

Debb · Debb

I have noticed that AH's side of the family, especially this year, did not recognize my birthday. Did not give it much thought as it was in October. AH's birthday is this coming Sunday and my parents sent him a card and gift, my daughter stopped by with a card and gift for him, his brothers and sister sent...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading explains that although we might wish that we -- or others -- had come to Al-Anon sooner, we each get here "right on schedule." The author quotes the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." They share that they attended their first Al-Anon meeting 20 years after fir...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that we have to face the fact that when we look at the outside forcesfor the reasons for the trials we are experiencing, that the real reasons can be found within ourselves,hence the self deception. We maybe frustrated with the alcoholic in our lives, yet however diffic...

Lyne · Lyne

I just had the most insane, circular, unproductive, half hour phone call with my A. It took me an entire half hour to say that I had to go. I am left feeling anxious, and I have back pain that developed during the call. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change w...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page considers Step 2 as the entry to 'understanding and growth' after accepting that we could not manage our lives under our power alone in Step 1. We now see as possible that a 'Power greater than ourselves could lead us to sanity'.Recognizing our own unreasonableness and humble position h...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Today's author shares their initial thoughts about serenity, and how those thoughts changed over time. When the author first arrived at Al-Anon, they heard that the principles of the program could lead to serenity. The author, however, didn't want serenity - sitting on top of a mountaintop with a...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, Just wanted to share a different response to an ongoing problem in my home. We have had ongoing plumbing issues with neighbors above us which I have reported to management. Landlord is an alcoholic who is progressing. I've learned to contact property caretakers for a more immediate res...

a4l · a4l

Living on a small island is like living in a small town only you can't drive to a city. That latter difference can contribute a lot to island fever, where basically if you're not careful you can turn into a permanently snippy version of your fine self. I am suffering a little island fever. The collective...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Hello - been a LONG while since I've been here, you know how life gets busy and things fall away from us. I've never forgotten what a help this message board was for me in escaping the insanity my life had become. I recommend it often to people, but as you know, recommend is all we can do. I live alone, quietl...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Good morning, dear readers! Today's reading in Courage to Change speaks about being able to live each day as it comes, to be free from living by old fears. Living with alcoholism in your family, one can learn that plans could change at any moment and that the "rules" varied accordingly. Many can devel...

Puddlediver · Puddlediver

Hi, Im pretty new to al anon groups and am mightily impressed so far. The only thing about the steps that concerns me is the one that refers to sanity. I have been detained under the mental health act twice in my life and had a severe mental illness, treatment necessitating 3 months in a psych ward. I know t...

texas yankee · texas yankee

After a lot of years of watching my son deal with his demons (he's been sober for a few years now), I was overjoyed to attend his wedding recently. Of course, I'm a VERY happy Dad. I'd like to say that I'm rock-solid on knowing that for both of us it's one day at a time, but I have to remind myself of that cons...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading talks about the difference between expressing ourselves and using words to control others. It suggests that if we say the same thing many times -- and are only satisfied when the other person responds a certain way -- we might be trying to control someone. If we can express what is on...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 2/1, is about taking Step 1: admitted we were powerless. The author stresses how we must impress these words on our consciousness so that it becomes an established way of thinking and feeling. We may have to repeat this step hundreds of times! We must accept the fact that we...

WendyP · WendyP

Recently, I read a sharing on this program the person mentioned about a Western, and it brought back a lovely memory for me, so I would like to share it with all of you. I was at a AA, Alanon weekend, and was in line to have lunch, and I started talking to a young man who was in front of me. We started talking...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a look at Tradition One (Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity). The writer describes how new meaning was given to tradition one for him/her when another member shared the idea that the interpre...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

-- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 01:07:53 PM -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 02:51:42 PM

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I don't have to keep Alanon going, worldwide. I still need keep the focus on myself... ...and i seem to manage to do this. I wondered if i had loyalty issues, with gin got another group. Seems not. I wept at my meeting last night. Tears of relief really. I could have killed myself anyti...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that when we are faced with the disruption, pain and disgrace that iscaused by living with an alcoholic that we are sometimes faced with desperation and confusion. We know that action is required which can take many different forms of impartial counsel, but themost fi...

MrRy2020 · MrRy2020

I am currently trying to set boundaries with my parent alcoholic. He is a very loving father but when he drinks it is like talking to another person. He has been dealing with alcoholism for quite some time now, has been to rehab twice but hasnt kept up with AA or a regular program. A few years ago he and my mo...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares a moment when they were able to recognize that they were really in trouble: There were unwashed dishes in the sink, and this triggered the author to consider throwing someone they loved very much out of their life forever. The author realized...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I started a grief support group yesterday night Going to the group actually related to a friend of mine who committed suicide. At the time of his suicide my therapist told me I needed to know exactly what happened around his entirely unexoected death. One of my charactor traits is righteousness....

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page notes that it is desperation over another's drinking that drives most of us to AlANon. Many are surprised when, instead of instruction on how to 'control' the alcoholic, the program provides guidance on how to do just the opposite. Some who find success in this approach mistakenly thi...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 1/25, discusses exactly how to correct our faults. We just cant eliminate or will them away. The author says that bad habits must be replaced with their opposites, substituting the positive for the negative, thus the I WILL for the I WONT. Reminder: If I am morose and discon...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading speaks about learning to have fun and to play. The author states that were raised as a child of two alcoholic parents. They identify as being industrious and goal-oriented. Learning to play and have fun doesn't come naturally to them but they would like to include these forms of relax...

Lyne · Lyne

BACKGROUND: As happens more times than not, I return from my condo and re-enter my home with my A. The dog goes back and forth with me which adds fuel to the fire. I prepare myself on Saturdays using my program tools to enter the marital situation in neutral, and sometimes hopeful that we can have peac...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone I hope you are all keeping well, I haven't posted in a long time, thankfully I haven't needed to but now I have a dilemma and would really appreciate feedback from anyone who has been through similar and even if you haven't, some recovery perspective, please! My son is an addict, he has bee...

DavidG · DavidG

I had this kind of dream- or vision- of being a tiny part of a wider Alanon movement ...which includes other 12 steps groups... I had been to Stepping Stones in upper state NY. I talked with Betty [Hotrod] abut this. She had been there too. Maybe with a large group. We were overseas visitors. Just my S...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about maintaining serenity in our lives. The writer describes how willingly some of us hand off our serenity when encountering alcoholic behavior. In this reading it is compared to our reaction when someone asks for the salt to be passed at a meal. Not even th...

Freetime · Freetime

Hello MIP friends, I am posting quite late and shorter than usual. I've been without internet for a few days, hopefully being fixed tomorrow, and this has been quite a lesson in Acceptance. But meanwhile, I am humbled to be able to post about this reading which tells me the true meaning of Detachment. ...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

There are now some new technical terms to describe some of our issues in recovery One of them is #backdraft# that is when we start applying boundaries, regulating our emotions and doing better self care we sometimes have to deal with even more symptoms The other issue of course is when we begin to set...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today in Courage to Change, the pages talk about Step 3: we "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him." I will be quoting directly from the pages: "This is a big decision for those of us who have a tough time making even small decisions. Until I found Al-Anon...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on anonymity in Al-Anon. "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions" The author shares that anonymity lets us leave WHAT we are at the door, and get to know WHO we are. We can leave the surnames, labels, and expectations we have bee...

Nancym · Nancym

I have just joined and want to first say how comforting this group is. Thank you all. I married my husband in 2009 after being a single mom for 18 years. He had two children from a previous marriage (which broke up because of his drinking) and his 13-year old son lived with him. He was very upfront about...

DavidG · DavidG

In the day- I went to a neighbouring town with a group of AA's. They dropped my off at the home of a wife- when they went to the meeting. W. told me that she did not want to go to Alanon. She said it would open up a can of worms for her. After all this time hubby is still in AA- and she is as right as rain. I was the op...

GracieP · GracieP

Hi! This message board was very helpful to me when I left my marriage almost 4 years ago. My ex is an active alcoholic. I mistakenly thought things would get better for my children and me once I finally moved out and took the youngest with me. The two older ones were already living on their own. Things did g...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Reminder: "Just for today I will live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.""I will slow my pace. If I am under pressure and setting myself deadlines and worrying about tomo...

DavidG · DavidG

I have chooks in the back yard. Hens- that is... The grandkids had chooks first. I always wanted them.Their dad said they had to go- and i took them over. I still have one aging non-laying bantam as a result of this. But three layers, as well... We are lucky. one daughter in the next town. Oldest daugh...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 1/18, talks about why we need to focus on ourselves. The reminder says: Is the help I offer truly loving or do I have other motives? Am I trying to change another person or get them to do what I want? Talking it over with my sponsor can offer perspective. My best hope for helping...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling lonely (Preview) So it's been nearly 5 months now since I asked my AH to leave, which he did. However, and maybe it's this seemingly neverending lockdown, but I feel lonelier than ever - even though I know that I was 'alone' even when I was with him. There are times when I feel good, but times when I find myself rememberi...	Bettertomorrow	10	2774	Feb 19, 2021 by Daffodils
	2/16 ODAT in AlAnon - (Preview) Today's page suggests that we progress substantially in our recovery when we see Alcoholism as a disease. It is often not seen as other diseases as it has no single, known cause, but can be just as destructive. We cannot cure it but are more likely able to help if we recognize it as a serious illness.Remi...	Enigmatic	7	1372	Feb 18, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 2/15 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 2/15, talks about working the program and how one actually can accomplish this: -going to meetings and learning about alcoholism -reading the literature and listening -being around people who speak the alanon language -being patient and putting in effort Eventually prog...	Lyne	9	1919	Feb 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	Happy Valentines Day... (Preview) What a pleasant wonderful morning though I woke up after fruitless sleep. It was the usual PTSD sleep process, ages old with some workable changes. I dreamt of sessions I had in the past with my deceased sponsor Don.T. on the lessons of feelings being choices. When he first mentioned that to me I se...	JerryF	7	1922	Feb 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Feb 14 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about the importance of simply listening to others when they are sharing. The writer describes walking with his wife and answering every statement she starts to make with a comparison from his own life. Most of her sentences were interrupted by her husband...	yanksfan51	3	2312	Feb 14, 2021 by Iamhere
	C2C Saturday (Preview) Today's Reminder: "A sponsor or trusted Al-Anon friend can help me see that I have value just as I am." The reading in Courage to Change today is about being an individual/comparing ourselves to others. Each snowflake is different... everyone has a unique thumbprint, and despite our common problem...	PosiesandPuppies	7	5055	Feb 14, 2021 by Iamhere
	Stiiiilll learning... (Preview) Worked last week on a project over on the coast. and had a happy weekend with my SO and pooch. A long holiday weekend for us. We had a domestic which lasted about 40 mins. This was a record for shortness. In the day these used to go on the weeks and months. Did a whole heap of washing last night. There is r...	DavidG	2	2439	Feb 14, 2021 by Lyne
	That familiar ol' feeling (Preview) It's been several long months since leaving my AH and in those months I've been staying with a dear friend who is like a sister to me. The clarity of looking back over the years and relationship was needed but (and I was warned about the possibility of this happening) but living with my friend has brought...	Paloma Negra	8	3407	Feb 13, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	AM ends (Preview) Got up this AM with work to do that I had pending for 3 days by inventory. I had to finish the inventory with some self centered behavior I relapsed into days ago. It didn't feel fair, just and honest and most of that was due to letting it linger. My mind body and spirit kept me focused on the subject and I...	JerryF	6	4254	Feb 13, 2021 by Lyne
	Courage to Change - February 12 - Detachment (Preview) Today's reading suggests that detachment is a choice we can make. The author noticed that it was easy to detach from the moods of casual friends -- but with family members, it was hard to avoid taking on someone's negative moods and attitudes. The solution was to pay attention to their own mood befor...	Freetime	5	3257	Feb 12, 2021 by Iamhere
	February 11, 2021 – ODAT – The First Step (Preview) The first of the twelve steps in Al-Anon, it is suggested, should leave no doubt where we stand when it comes to dealing withalcoholic situations. Admitting we are powerless over alcohol" might challenge our need to control the chaos, because weautomatically want to fix this, but the step goes on t...	Debb	5	2954	Feb 12, 2021 by JerryF
	January 21, 2021 – ODAT – Self -Pity & Resentment (Preview) Todays reading has to do with how clearly and honestly we see our present circumstances. The reading goes on to say that we should be at peace and not fall victim to harboring resentment and self-pity.The reading suggests that when we compare our lives with that of others that it is then that the destr...	Debb	16	6214	Feb 11, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change February 10 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author shares about one of the effects of alcoholism - many of us have denied or devalued our talents, feelings, achievements, and desires. Through work in the Al-Anon program, we can learn to know, appreciate, and express our true selves. Imagination can take p...	Skorpi	5	4109	Feb 10, 2021 by DavidG
	2/9/21 ODAT in AlAnon – The ‘Why’ Doesn’t Matter… (Preview) Today's page encourages consideration of the futility of time spent trying to determine why the alcoholic drinks. Even if we had that info and limitless time and money to treat it clinically, there is no guaranty of success for their recovery.Reminder: The alcoholic can find recovery in the rooms o...	Enigmatic	9	3691	Feb 10, 2021 by DavidG
	Keep coming back it works when I work it... (Preview) This is the slogan that has protected my mind, body, spirit and emotions and was passed on to me right after my very first AGF meeting. It has caused me to understand Step One and in response have a much different life than when I started recovery around 2/8/79 and get totally involved on many levels inc...	JerryF	4	3577	Feb 9, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Feb 7 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays reading is about comparing ourselves to others, in a competitive way, as a motivation to do better. The writer describes doing this in order to seek praise. The writer was judging others and him/herself harshly enough that ultimately no one measures up. Going to alan...	yanksfan51	4	3182	Feb 9, 2021 by Maresie888
	ODAT in alanon, 2/8 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 2/8, talks about seeing cheerful, smiling people when we first enter the rooms. We are astonished, says the author, as we didnt think it possible, if those people have the same problems we do. And down the road, we could even find out their problems are worse than mine! Remind...	Lyne	5	4407	Feb 9, 2021 by Maresie888
	Working it and it’s working (Preview) Sharing a positive moment I had this week. It was the clearest evidence Ive seen of the program working when you work it. I have a new boss. This always scares the heck out of me. I always worry their expectations wont line up with my needs, theyll think I suck at my job, theyll hate me and Ill lose my job. Mea...	sunmustshine	4	3380	Feb 7, 2021 by Lyne
	Oh, I suppose have another qualifier? (Preview) ??? A close friend... ...I have years of experience behind me. I can manage now. "Jack"...hmmm... in recent times I tend to say that the only qualifier I bring to a meeting is myself... ...not sure how this sits with Alanon... because sometimes I don't know where anything sits with everyone and eve...	DavidG	3	3186	Feb 7, 2021 by DavidG
	COURAGE TO CHANGE - SATURDAY (Preview) Dear Readers, Today's reading in Courage to Change was about our thinking, and how when distorted, we can try and force solutions. We tend to not want to wait-- we want things fixed NOW! However, many times, the best course of action is... inaction. Sometimes it is wise to wait and see. As the saying goe...	PosiesandPuppies	4	411	Feb 6, 2021 by Iamhere
	do you ever? (Preview) Do you ever feel like stopping time & not reflecting on the past so much? It has been almost exactly a month since I posted on here. I am dealing a lot w/ gratitude as a way to let go of the past a little. I don't want to focus on those things that made me feel horrible in the past & make each day count by b...	Hoot Nanny	4	1824	Feb 6, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Family Topic - Question For Y'all (Preview) I have noticed that AH's side of the family, especially this year, did not recognize my birthday. Did not give it much thought as it was in October. AH's birthday is this coming Sunday and my parents sent him a card and gift, my daughter stopped by with a card and gift for him, his brothers and sister sent...	Debb	8	2395	Feb 5, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change - February 5 - When the Student is Ready (Preview) Today's reading explains that although we might wish that we -- or others -- had come to Al-Anon sooner, we each get here "right on schedule." The author quotes the saying, "When the student is ready, the teacher appears." They share that they attended their first Al-Anon meeting 20 years after fir...	Freetime	5	486	Feb 5, 2021 by Maresie888
	February 4, 2021 – ODAT – Self Deception (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that we have to face the fact that when we look at the outside forcesfor the reasons for the trials we are experiencing, that the real reasons can be found within ourselves,hence the self deception. We maybe frustrated with the alcoholic in our lives, yet however diffic...	Debb	3	579	Feb 4, 2021 by Iamhere
	God grant me.... (Preview) I just had the most insane, circular, unproductive, half hour phone call with my A. It took me an entire half hour to say that I had to go. I am left feeling anxious, and I have back pain that developed during the call. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change w...	Lyne	4	2129	Feb 4, 2021 by Iamhere
	R4902018 (More Recognizable as ODAT 2/2 - Power Greater, Back to Sanity) (Preview) Today's page considers Step 2 as the entry to 'understanding and growth' after accepting that we could not manage our lives under our power alone in Step 1. We now see as possible that a 'Power greater than ourselves could lead us to sanity'.Recognizing our own unreasonableness and humble position h...	Enigmatic	6	1028	Feb 4, 2021 by Enigmatic
	Courage to Change February 3 (Preview) Today's author shares their initial thoughts about serenity, and how those thoughts changed over time. When the author first arrived at Al-Anon, they heard that the principles of the program could lead to serenity. The author, however, didn't want serenity - sitting on top of a mountaintop with a...	Skorpi	4	445	Feb 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	A Changed Attitude (Preview) Hi Everyone, Just wanted to share a different response to an ongoing problem in my home. We have had ongoing plumbing issues with neighbors above us which I have reported to management. Landlord is an alcoholic who is progressing. I've learned to contact property caretakers for a more immediate res...	tiredtonite	4	503	Feb 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	Island fever (Preview) Living on a small island is like living in a small town only you can't drive to a city. That latter difference can contribute a lot to island fever, where basically if you're not careful you can turn into a permanently snippy version of your fine self. I am suffering a little island fever. The collective...	a4l	3	513	Feb 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	Popping in to say HELLO! (Preview) Hello - been a LONG while since I've been here, you know how life gets busy and things fall away from us. I've never forgotten what a help this message board was for me in escaping the insanity my life had become. I recommend it often to people, but as you know, recommend is all we can do. I live alone, quietl...	likemyheart	5	496	Feb 3, 2021 by a4l
	Courage to Change Jan 30 - Not living by old fears (Preview) Good morning, dear readers! Today's reading in Courage to Change speaks about being able to live each day as it comes, to be free from living by old fears. Living with alcoholism in your family, one can learn that plans could change at any moment and that the "rules" varied accordingly. Many can devel...	PosiesandPuppies	11	515	Feb 3, 2021 by Maresie888
	Sanity (Preview) Hi, Im pretty new to al anon groups and am mightily impressed so far. The only thing about the steps that concerns me is the one that refers to sanity. I have been detained under the mental health act twice in my life and had a severe mental illness, treatment necessitating 3 months in a psych ward. I know t...	Puddlediver	6	633	Feb 2, 2021 by Puddlediver
	"Hope is a good thing" (and sometimes it's all we have) (Preview) After a lot of years of watching my son deal with his demons (he's been sober for a few years now), I was overjoyed to attend his wedding recently. Of course, I'm a VERY happy Dad. I'd like to say that I'm rock-solid on knowing that for both of us it's one day at a time, but I have to remind myself of that cons...	texas yankee	12	1131	Feb 1, 2021 by WendyP
	Courage to Change - January 29 - Expressing Ourselves (Preview) Today's reading talks about the difference between expressing ourselves and using words to control others. It suggests that if we say the same thing many times -- and are only satisfied when the other person responds a certain way -- we might be trying to control someone. If we can express what is on...	Freetime	6	549	Feb 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	ODAT in alanon, 2/1 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 2/1, is about taking Step 1: admitted we were powerless. The author stresses how we must impress these words on our consciousness so that it becomes an established way of thinking and feeling. We may have to repeat this step hundreds of times! We must accept the fact that we...	Lyne	2	510	Feb 1, 2021 by Iamhere
	A Wonderful Memory (Preview) Recently, I read a sharing on this program the person mentioned about a Western, and it brought back a lovely memory for me, so I would like to share it with all of you. I was at a AA, Alanon weekend, and was in line to have lunch, and I started talking to a young man who was in front of me. We started talking...	WendyP	4	430	Feb 1, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Jan 31 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a look at Tradition One (Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity). The writer describes how new meaning was given to tradition one for him/her when another member shared the idea that the interpre...	yanksfan51	4	465	Jan 31, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Vipers or rather how to have boundsries (Preview) -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 01:07:53 PM -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 02:51:42 PM	Maresie888	4	548	Jan 31, 2021 by DavidG
	I wept at my f2f meeting... (Preview) Hi y'all... I don't have to keep Alanon going, worldwide. I still need keep the focus on myself... ...and i seem to manage to do this. I wondered if i had loyalty issues, with gin got another group. Seems not. I wept at my meeting last night. Tears of relief really. I could have killed myself anyti...	DavidG	3	462	Jan 29, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	January 28, 2021 – ODAT – Let Go and Let God (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that when we are faced with the disruption, pain and disgrace that iscaused by living with an alcoholic that we are sometimes faced with desperation and confusion. We know that action is required which can take many different forms of impartial counsel, but themost fi...	Debb	6	685	Jan 28, 2021 by WendyP
	Detachment with Love (Preview) I am currently trying to set boundaries with my parent alcoholic. He is a very loving father but when he drinks it is like talking to another person. He has been dealing with alcoholism for quite some time now, has been to rehab twice but hasnt kept up with AA or a regular program. A few years ago he and my mo...	MrRy2020	9	973	Jan 28, 2021 by a4l
	Courage to Change January 27 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares a moment when they were able to recognize that they were really in trouble: There were unwashed dishes in the sink, and this triggered the author to consider throwing someone they loved very much out of their life forever. The author realized...	Skorpi	7	433	Jan 27, 2021 by Maresie888
	Grief Betty one year anniversary (Preview) I started a grief support group yesterday night Going to the group actually related to a friend of mine who committed suicide. At the time of his suicide my therapist told me I needed to know exactly what happened around his entirely unexoected death. One of my charactor traits is righteousness....	Maresie888	2	471	Jan 27, 2021 by bud
	1/26/2021 ODAT - Temporary or way of Life? (Preview) Today's page notes that it is desperation over another's drinking that drives most of us to AlANon. Many are surprised when, instead of instruction on how to 'control' the alcoholic, the program provides guidance on how to do just the opposite. Some who find success in this approach mistakenly thi...	Enigmatic	4	460	Jan 27, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	ODAT in alanon, 1/25 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 1/25, discusses exactly how to correct our faults. We just cant eliminate or will them away. The author says that bad habits must be replaced with their opposites, substituting the positive for the negative, thus the I WILL for the I WONT. Reminder: If I am morose and discon...	Lyne	7	563	Jan 25, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today Jan 25 (Preview) Today's reading speaks about learning to have fun and to play. The author states that were raised as a child of two alcoholic parents. They identify as being industrious and goal-oriented. Learning to play and have fun doesn't come naturally to them but they would like to include these forms of relax...	tiredtonite	5	483	Jan 25, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Mantra for Sunday (Preview) BACKGROUND: As happens more times than not, I return from my condo and re-enter my home with my A. The dog goes back and forth with me which adds fuel to the fire. I prepare myself on Saturdays using my program tools to enter the marital situation in neutral, and sometimes hopeful that we can have peac...	Lyne	7	445	Jan 25, 2021 by Lyne
	Shut out of my grandchild's life (Preview) Hi everyone I hope you are all keeping well, I haven't posted in a long time, thankfully I haven't needed to but now I have a dilemma and would really appreciate feedback from anyone who has been through similar and even if you haven't, some recovery perspective, please! My son is an addict, he has bee...	Sorcha	15	1476	Jan 25, 2021 by WendyP
	Learning to see the wider Alanon- in my own neck of the woods... (Preview) I had this kind of dream- or vision- of being a tiny part of a wider Alanon movement ...which includes other 12 steps groups... I had been to Stepping Stones in upper state NY. I talked with Betty [Hotrod] abut this. She had been there too. Maybe with a large group. We were overseas visitors. Just my S...	DavidG	6	2029	Jan 24, 2021 by DavidG
	Hope for Today Jan 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about maintaining serenity in our lives. The writer describes how willingly some of us hand off our serenity when encountering alcoholic behavior. In this reading it is compared to our reaction when someone asks for the salt to be passed at a meal. Not even th...	yanksfan51	5	466	Jan 24, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change - January 22 (Preview) Hello MIP friends, I am posting quite late and shorter than usual. I've been without internet for a few days, hopefully being fixed tomorrow, and this has been quite a lesson in Acceptance. But meanwhile, I am humbled to be able to post about this reading which tells me the true meaning of Detachment. ...	Freetime	6	1684	Jan 24, 2021 by Iamhere
	Backdraft (Preview) There are now some new technical terms to describe some of our issues in recovery One of them is #backdraft# that is when we start applying boundaries, regulating our emotions and doing better self care we sometimes have to deal with even more symptoms The other issue of course is when we begin to set...	Maresie888	8	1440	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C 1/23/21 (Preview) Today in Courage to Change, the pages talk about Step 3: we "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him." I will be quoting directly from the pages: "This is a big decision for those of us who have a tough time making even small decisions. Until I found Al-Anon...	PosiesandPuppies	4	434	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change January 20 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on anonymity in Al-Anon. "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions" The author shares that anonymity lets us leave WHAT we are at the door, and get to know WHO we are. We can leave the surnames, labels, and expectations we have bee...	Skorpi	8	1383	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Married a recovering alcholic who recently fell off the wagon after 18 years sobriety (Preview) I have just joined and want to first say how comforting this group is. Thank you all. I married my husband in 2009 after being a single mom for 18 years. He had two children from a previous marriage (which broke up because of his drinking) and his 13-year old son lived with him. He was very upfront about...	Nancym	7	1603	Jan 23, 2021 by Nancym
	A Share... (Preview) In the day- I went to a neighbouring town with a group of AA's. They dropped my off at the home of a wife- when they went to the meeting. W. told me that she did not want to go to Alanon. She said it would open up a can of worms for her. After all this time hubby is still in AA- and she is as right as rain. I was the op...	DavidG	8	1474	Jan 22, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	On behalf of my kids... (Preview) Hi! This message board was very helpful to me when I left my marriage almost 4 years ago. My ex is an active alcoholic. I mistakenly thought things would get better for my children and me once I finally moved out and took the youngest with me. The two older ones were already living on their own. Things did g...	GracieP	6	825	Jan 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	1/19/21 ODAT – Just For Today… (Preview) Today's Reminder: "Just for today I will live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.""I will slow my pace. If I am under pressure and setting myself deadlines and worrying about tomo...	Enigmatic	6	497	Jan 19, 2021 by JerryF
	Back-yard stuff... (Preview) I have chooks in the back yard. Hens- that is... The grandkids had chooks first. I always wanted them.Their dad said they had to go- and i took them over. I still have one aging non-laying bantam as a result of this. But three layers, as well... We are lucky. one daughter in the next town. Oldest daugh...	DavidG	10	909	Jan 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 1/18 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 1/18, talks about why we need to focus on ourselves. The reminder says: Is the help I offer truly loving or do I have other motives? Am I trying to change another person or get them to do what I want? Talking it over with my sponsor can offer perspective. My best hope for helping...	Lyne	5	1065	Jan 18, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.