Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Hi Everyone, Just wanted to share a different response to an ongoing problem in my home. We have had ongoing plumbing issues with neighbors above us which I have reported to management. Landlord is an alcoholic who is progressing. I've learned to contact property caretakers for a more immediate res...

a4l · a4l

Living on a small island is like living in a small town only you can't drive to a city. That latter difference can contribute a lot to island fever, where basically if you're not careful you can turn into a permanently snippy version of your fine self. I am suffering a little island fever. The collective...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Hello - been a LONG while since I've been here, you know how life gets busy and things fall away from us. I've never forgotten what a help this message board was for me in escaping the insanity my life had become. I recommend it often to people, but as you know, recommend is all we can do. I live alone, quietl...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Good morning, dear readers! Today's reading in Courage to Change speaks about being able to live each day as it comes, to be free from living by old fears. Living with alcoholism in your family, one can learn that plans could change at any moment and that the "rules" varied accordingly. Many can devel...

Puddlediver · Puddlediver

Hi, Im pretty new to al anon groups and am mightily impressed so far. The only thing about the steps that concerns me is the one that refers to sanity. I have been detained under the mental health act twice in my life and had a severe mental illness, treatment necessitating 3 months in a psych ward. I know t...

texas yankee · texas yankee

After a lot of years of watching my son deal with his demons (he's been sober for a few years now), I was overjoyed to attend his wedding recently. Of course, I'm a VERY happy Dad. I'd like to say that I'm rock-solid on knowing that for both of us it's one day at a time, but I have to remind myself of that cons...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading talks about the difference between expressing ourselves and using words to control others. It suggests that if we say the same thing many times -- and are only satisfied when the other person responds a certain way -- we might be trying to control someone. If we can express what is on...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 2/1, is about taking Step 1: admitted we were powerless. The author stresses how we must impress these words on our consciousness so that it becomes an established way of thinking and feeling. We may have to repeat this step hundreds of times! We must accept the fact that we...

WendyP · WendyP

Recently, I read a sharing on this program the person mentioned about a Western, and it brought back a lovely memory for me, so I would like to share it with all of you. I was at a AA, Alanon weekend, and was in line to have lunch, and I started talking to a young man who was in front of me. We started talking...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a look at Tradition One (Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity). The writer describes how new meaning was given to tradition one for him/her when another member shared the idea that the interpre...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

-- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 01:07:53 PM -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 02:51:42 PM

DavidG · DavidG

Hi y'all... I don't have to keep Alanon going, worldwide. I still need keep the focus on myself... ...and i seem to manage to do this. I wondered if i had loyalty issues, with gin got another group. Seems not. I wept at my meeting last night. Tears of relief really. I could have killed myself anyti...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that when we are faced with the disruption, pain and disgrace that iscaused by living with an alcoholic that we are sometimes faced with desperation and confusion. We know that action is required which can take many different forms of impartial counsel, but themost fi...

MrRy2020 · MrRy2020

I am currently trying to set boundaries with my parent alcoholic. He is a very loving father but when he drinks it is like talking to another person. He has been dealing with alcoholism for quite some time now, has been to rehab twice but hasnt kept up with AA or a regular program. A few years ago he and my mo...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares a moment when they were able to recognize that they were really in trouble: There were unwashed dishes in the sink, and this triggered the author to consider throwing someone they loved very much out of their life forever. The author realized...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I started a grief support group yesterday night Going to the group actually related to a friend of mine who committed suicide. At the time of his suicide my therapist told me I needed to know exactly what happened around his entirely unexoected death. One of my charactor traits is righteousness....

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's page notes that it is desperation over another's drinking that drives most of us to AlANon. Many are surprised when, instead of instruction on how to 'control' the alcoholic, the program provides guidance on how to do just the opposite. Some who find success in this approach mistakenly thi...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 1/25, discusses exactly how to correct our faults. We just cant eliminate or will them away. The author says that bad habits must be replaced with their opposites, substituting the positive for the negative, thus the I WILL for the I WONT. Reminder: If I am morose and discon...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Today's reading speaks about learning to have fun and to play. The author states that were raised as a child of two alcoholic parents. They identify as being industrious and goal-oriented. Learning to play and have fun doesn't come naturally to them but they would like to include these forms of relax...

Lyne · Lyne

BACKGROUND: As happens more times than not, I return from my condo and re-enter my home with my A. The dog goes back and forth with me which adds fuel to the fire. I prepare myself on Saturdays using my program tools to enter the marital situation in neutral, and sometimes hopeful that we can have peac...

Sorcha · Sorcha

Hi everyone I hope you are all keeping well, I haven't posted in a long time, thankfully I haven't needed to but now I have a dilemma and would really appreciate feedback from anyone who has been through similar and even if you haven't, some recovery perspective, please! My son is an addict, he has bee...

DavidG · DavidG

I had this kind of dream- or vision- of being a tiny part of a wider Alanon movement ...which includes other 12 steps groups... I had been to Stepping Stones in upper state NY. I talked with Betty [Hotrod] abut this. She had been there too. Maybe with a large group. We were overseas visitors. Just my S...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about maintaining serenity in our lives. The writer describes how willingly some of us hand off our serenity when encountering alcoholic behavior. In this reading it is compared to our reaction when someone asks for the salt to be passed at a meal. Not even th...

Freetime · Freetime

Hello MIP friends, I am posting quite late and shorter than usual. I've been without internet for a few days, hopefully being fixed tomorrow, and this has been quite a lesson in Acceptance. But meanwhile, I am humbled to be able to post about this reading which tells me the true meaning of Detachment. ...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

There are now some new technical terms to describe some of our issues in recovery One of them is #backdraft# that is when we start applying boundaries, regulating our emotions and doing better self care we sometimes have to deal with even more symptoms The other issue of course is when we begin to set...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today in Courage to Change, the pages talk about Step 3: we "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him." I will be quoting directly from the pages: "This is a big decision for those of us who have a tough time making even small decisions. Until I found Al-Anon...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on anonymity in Al-Anon. "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions" The author shares that anonymity lets us leave WHAT we are at the door, and get to know WHO we are. We can leave the surnames, labels, and expectations we have bee...

Nancym · Nancym

I have just joined and want to first say how comforting this group is. Thank you all. I married my husband in 2009 after being a single mom for 18 years. He had two children from a previous marriage (which broke up because of his drinking) and his 13-year old son lived with him. He was very upfront about...

DavidG · DavidG

In the day- I went to a neighbouring town with a group of AA's. They dropped my off at the home of a wife- when they went to the meeting. W. told me that she did not want to go to Alanon. She said it would open up a can of worms for her. After all this time hubby is still in AA- and she is as right as rain. I was the op...

GracieP · GracieP

Hi! This message board was very helpful to me when I left my marriage almost 4 years ago. My ex is an active alcoholic. I mistakenly thought things would get better for my children and me once I finally moved out and took the youngest with me. The two older ones were already living on their own. Things did g...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's Reminder: "Just for today I will live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.""I will slow my pace. If I am under pressure and setting myself deadlines and worrying about tomo...

DavidG · DavidG

I have chooks in the back yard. Hens- that is... The grandkids had chooks first. I always wanted them.Their dad said they had to go- and i took them over. I still have one aging non-laying bantam as a result of this. But three layers, as well... We are lucky. one daughter in the next town. Oldest daugh...

Lyne · Lyne

The reading for Monday, 1/18, talks about why we need to focus on ourselves. The reminder says: Is the help I offer truly loving or do I have other motives? Am I trying to change another person or get them to do what I want? Talking it over with my sponsor can offer perspective. My best hope for helping...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone- Todays page focuses on the concept of letting go. The writer compares his/her own struggle with opening up to the flowers in a bouquet- some of the buds remained closed, others were open with bloom on display. The writer notes that he/she often used restraint out of fear that ot...

SunnyFrogs · SunnyFrogs

This morning I opened up my online Journal that I've been writing in since probably 2010 or 2011. On the side is a list of all the entry titles and I was sad and surprised to see just how many are about AH and all of our problems and fights. I was even sadder to realize how many years this has been going on and no...

Jayliejewell · Jayliejewell

Hi my name is Jaylie. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years in January 5th. We met as juniors in high school. and started dating almost a full year later mid senior year. Since then it has been a roller coaster of emotions. we had a really good relationship for the first 4 months. He smoked weed I hated it...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

I have spent the last few days doing self care then setting up systems where I can continue that self care However I note that many of my friends like me have neglected big portions of self care One of my friends for example went to Las Vegas for New Years. Quite apart from the fact that no one is supposed to...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

Today's reading speaks of learning to "Think." The author speaks of before Al-Anon, they would speak whatever entered their mind. Angry accusations were met with their own angry accusations... an urge to betray a confidence, to gossip were unstopped. Now they stop and "Think." Therefore, they ma...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

Currently my expenses are more than my income. I.have had an unexpected medical expense that is pretty big. Staging it out is really scary. As a child most of my needs were not met. As an adult I.have been around people who are notoriously selfish. I learned to.ignore and squash my needs around them ...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's reading describes a day in the life of someone worried about a crisis happening to an alcoholic -- unable to concentrate at work, projecting horrible outcomes, dreading what the future may bring. The slogan One Day at a Time helps prevent leaping into the future. Worrying does not protect us...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that if we know or sense that someone is resentful or dislikes us that we can seek to understand why. It is then, when we are honestly seeking those answers that we can learn, not only about ourselves but to have an opportunity to makeamends if necessary. It is suggested th...

Debb · Debb

I have been working the 12 steps for the past 4 weeks. Have to admit when I restarted, I looked over my original work back in 2014, cause I saved what I did, that it was a real help to see that what I did was basically the same as now! Not sure if that is good or bad. The reason I need input is because I feel stu...

Seahorse7 · Seahorse7

Ive been trying very hard not to engage when AH is drinking. This holiday season went as usual: He has multiple days off and all of them are spent getting drunk. Im trying to accept that he does this, to take care of myself and leave him be to do what he wants. Detach and do my own thing. Sure enough tonight he...

WendyP · WendyP

I would like to share about Step 12 and what it means to me, I feel the Gratitude towards The Higher Power, who I call God, for giving this wonderful Spiritual Program to both Dr Bob and Bill for AA, and Louis and Anne for our wonderful program. Then for both parties for having the courage, strength and com...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C is about spiritual freedom. The author shares that they received spiritual freedom through Al-Anon because the program encourages us each to find a personal understanding of a Higher power, and to allow others to do the same. A personal understanding of HP and...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author observed a colony of bees and drew a parallel to detachment from the alcoholic. By not poking into their business, especially when there may be physical, spiritual or emotional risk, we can avoid getting stung when we maintain a safe distance. We still love them, but we recognize the r...

Lyne · Lyne

For Monday, 1/11, I came across some amazing ideas from the book titled above. The author states that recovery is about reclaiming our own lives, learning to focus on ourselves, build on our strengths, and ask for and accept help. When we cannot live our own lives because of the preoccupation of othe...

DavidG · DavidG

I am over on the coast painting. One of my two ewes had a lamb this week. In my years in Alanon I have learned the power of other people. For quite some time ~the people in the programme~ was my higher power. This is still a part of what my higher power is today. I am painting a roof... ...I got out...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on one aspect of the fallout from being a child of an alcoholic. The writer describes vowing never to drink (the vow many children of alcoholics make). The writer finds another path to drunkenness though: feelings. The writer describes being unable...

PosiesandPuppies · PosiesandPuppies

"Today my best is good enough." Today's reading is about learning to validate yourself. To stop looking for validation from outside sources. Examples were given: the work project was a success, but somehow we are not satisfied unless someone says so. Or the dinner prepared was delicious and nutrit...

Debb · Debb

Todays ODAT reading suggests that when something unkind is said or done to us; that hurt our feelings, that detachment is the best way to turn the hurt feelings off,until we can figure out what our responsibility is for the unkindness. Once we figure out if there was something we did to cause the unkin...

DavidG · DavidG

A word I hear a lot, coming out of the USA. Service above self. More so than any other place I have been to. Through the middle of my day- Thursday- I have watched events unfold over there. Tradition 10 here- absolutely. But I am impressed- I notice it one whole lot- how this service ethos...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

#Our common welfare should come first# How lucky I am to be in a.group.that welcomes people of all ages, all denominations and at all phases of recovery. Indeed the newcomer is always welcomed.warmly into this group After a tumultuous year full of unheard of stressors.we.have.kept this group....

Debb · Debb

I had an opportunity to practice JADE two evenings ago with AH. Believe it or not he was flipping out about a mouse that was scratching behind the corner baseboard of his bedroom. Was fit to be tied that he could not go to sleep in the room. I suggested he sleep on the couch. Sounds like a simple solutio...

Maresie888 · Maresie888

One of the things that Betty would say to me when she had listened to my problems with dysregulation is to light a candle Betty had a practice of going to church and lighting a candle for others. I really appreciated the thought of her good intentions and hope for me. I thought of Betty as in invincible a...

Freetime · Freetime

Today's author was concerned that their newly sober family member would start drinking again, even trying to control other family members' behavior so they wouldn't cause the alcoholic to relapse -- and this attempt at control was rejected! Finally the author accepted that they were just as po...

DavidG · DavidG

Short- for once... Betty dug deep- made over 17,000 shares on this board. She manoevred, and she cajoled sometimes... but by and large she maintained a focus on herself. maybe 6 or 8 of us took her place. Maybe 18 or 24... her rich and deep legacy lies on. ... We honour her by continuing her legacy...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the importance of reaching out to other Al-Anon members between meetings. Like many Al-Anon members, the author arrived with a heavy burden due to the impact of alcoholism. Reaching out to Al-Anon members who will listen patiently helps to rel...

Lighthouse · Lighthouse

Hello, I've been thinking about going to an Al-Anon meeting for a while, I've looked up dates and times in my local area and today even thought "If I find one that's on today, I'll go"... but then when I found one WAS on today I felt too terrified and closed the browser window immediately. I find it hard to b...

Enigmatic · Enigmatic

Today's author misunderstood compassion toward the alcoholic to include making excuses or covering for them monetarily. AlAnon suggests this behavior is 'enabling' the alcoholic to progress in their disease without facing the consequences. Enabling interferes by lengthening the time it tak...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A Changed Attitude (Preview) Hi Everyone, Just wanted to share a different response to an ongoing problem in my home. We have had ongoing plumbing issues with neighbors above us which I have reported to management. Landlord is an alcoholic who is progressing. I've learned to contact property caretakers for a more immediate res...	tiredtonite	4	374	Feb 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	Island fever (Preview) Living on a small island is like living in a small town only you can't drive to a city. That latter difference can contribute a lot to island fever, where basically if you're not careful you can turn into a permanently snippy version of your fine self. I am suffering a little island fever. The collective...	a4l	3	395	Feb 3, 2021 by Iamhere
	Popping in to say HELLO! (Preview) Hello - been a LONG while since I've been here, you know how life gets busy and things fall away from us. I've never forgotten what a help this message board was for me in escaping the insanity my life had become. I recommend it often to people, but as you know, recommend is all we can do. I live alone, quietl...	likemyheart	5	348	Feb 3, 2021 by a4l
	Courage to Change Jan 30 - Not living by old fears (Preview) Good morning, dear readers! Today's reading in Courage to Change speaks about being able to live each day as it comes, to be free from living by old fears. Living with alcoholism in your family, one can learn that plans could change at any moment and that the "rules" varied accordingly. Many can devel...	PosiesandPuppies	11	401	Feb 3, 2021 by Maresie888
	Sanity (Preview) Hi, Im pretty new to al anon groups and am mightily impressed so far. The only thing about the steps that concerns me is the one that refers to sanity. I have been detained under the mental health act twice in my life and had a severe mental illness, treatment necessitating 3 months in a psych ward. I know t...	Puddlediver	6	500	Feb 2, 2021 by Puddlediver
	"Hope is a good thing" (and sometimes it's all we have) (Preview) After a lot of years of watching my son deal with his demons (he's been sober for a few years now), I was overjoyed to attend his wedding recently. Of course, I'm a VERY happy Dad. I'd like to say that I'm rock-solid on knowing that for both of us it's one day at a time, but I have to remind myself of that cons...	texas yankee	12	813	Feb 1, 2021 by WendyP
	Courage to Change - January 29 - Expressing Ourselves (Preview) Today's reading talks about the difference between expressing ourselves and using words to control others. It suggests that if we say the same thing many times -- and are only satisfied when the other person responds a certain way -- we might be trying to control someone. If we can express what is on...	Freetime	6	426	Feb 1, 2021 by Maresie888
	ODAT in alanon, 2/1 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 2/1, is about taking Step 1: admitted we were powerless. The author stresses how we must impress these words on our consciousness so that it becomes an established way of thinking and feeling. We may have to repeat this step hundreds of times! We must accept the fact that we...	Lyne	2	368	Feb 1, 2021 by Iamhere
	A Wonderful Memory (Preview) Recently, I read a sharing on this program the person mentioned about a Western, and it brought back a lovely memory for me, so I would like to share it with all of you. I was at a AA, Alanon weekend, and was in line to have lunch, and I started talking to a young man who was in front of me. We started talking...	WendyP	4	317	Feb 1, 2021 by Iamhere
	Hope for Today Jan 31 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a look at Tradition One (Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity). The writer describes how new meaning was given to tradition one for him/her when another member shared the idea that the interpre...	yanksfan51	4	347	Jan 31, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Vipers or rather how to have boundsries (Preview) -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 01:07:53 PM -- Edited by Maresie888 on Friday 29th of January 2021 02:51:42 PM	Maresie888	4	365	Jan 31, 2021 by DavidG
	I wept at my f2f meeting... (Preview) Hi y'all... I don't have to keep Alanon going, worldwide. I still need keep the focus on myself... ...and i seem to manage to do this. I wondered if i had loyalty issues, with gin got another group. Seems not. I wept at my meeting last night. Tears of relief really. I could have killed myself anyti...	DavidG	3	334	Jan 29, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	January 28, 2021 – ODAT – Let Go and Let God (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that when we are faced with the disruption, pain and disgrace that iscaused by living with an alcoholic that we are sometimes faced with desperation and confusion. We know that action is required which can take many different forms of impartial counsel, but themost fi...	Debb	6	501	Jan 28, 2021 by WendyP
	Detachment with Love (Preview) I am currently trying to set boundaries with my parent alcoholic. He is a very loving father but when he drinks it is like talking to another person. He has been dealing with alcoholism for quite some time now, has been to rehab twice but hasnt kept up with AA or a regular program. A few years ago he and my mo...	MrRy2020	9	719	Jan 28, 2021 by a4l
	Courage to Change January 27 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading from C2C, the author shares a moment when they were able to recognize that they were really in trouble: There were unwashed dishes in the sink, and this triggered the author to consider throwing someone they loved very much out of their life forever. The author realized...	Skorpi	7	317	Jan 27, 2021 by Maresie888
	Grief Betty one year anniversary (Preview) I started a grief support group yesterday night Going to the group actually related to a friend of mine who committed suicide. At the time of his suicide my therapist told me I needed to know exactly what happened around his entirely unexoected death. One of my charactor traits is righteousness....	Maresie888	2	343	Jan 27, 2021 by bud
	1/26/2021 ODAT - Temporary or way of Life? (Preview) Today's page notes that it is desperation over another's drinking that drives most of us to AlANon. Many are surprised when, instead of instruction on how to 'control' the alcoholic, the program provides guidance on how to do just the opposite. Some who find success in this approach mistakenly thi...	Enigmatic	4	338	Jan 27, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	ODAT in alanon, 1/25 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 1/25, discusses exactly how to correct our faults. We just cant eliminate or will them away. The author says that bad habits must be replaced with their opposites, substituting the positive for the negative, thus the I WILL for the I WONT. Reminder: If I am morose and discon...	Lyne	7	445	Jan 25, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today Jan 25 (Preview) Today's reading speaks about learning to have fun and to play. The author states that were raised as a child of two alcoholic parents. They identify as being industrious and goal-oriented. Learning to play and have fun doesn't come naturally to them but they would like to include these forms of relax...	tiredtonite	5	373	Jan 25, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Mantra for Sunday (Preview) BACKGROUND: As happens more times than not, I return from my condo and re-enter my home with my A. The dog goes back and forth with me which adds fuel to the fire. I prepare myself on Saturdays using my program tools to enter the marital situation in neutral, and sometimes hopeful that we can have peac...	Lyne	7	316	Jan 25, 2021 by Lyne
	Shut out of my grandchild's life (Preview) Hi everyone I hope you are all keeping well, I haven't posted in a long time, thankfully I haven't needed to but now I have a dilemma and would really appreciate feedback from anyone who has been through similar and even if you haven't, some recovery perspective, please! My son is an addict, he has bee...	Sorcha	15	1203	Jan 25, 2021 by WendyP
	Learning to see the wider Alanon- in my own neck of the woods... (Preview) I had this kind of dream- or vision- of being a tiny part of a wider Alanon movement ...which includes other 12 steps groups... I had been to Stepping Stones in upper state NY. I talked with Betty [Hotrod] abut this. She had been there too. Maybe with a large group. We were overseas visitors. Just my S...	DavidG	6	1707	Jan 24, 2021 by DavidG
	Hope for Today Jan 24 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is about maintaining serenity in our lives. The writer describes how willingly some of us hand off our serenity when encountering alcoholic behavior. In this reading it is compared to our reaction when someone asks for the salt to be passed at a meal. Not even th...	yanksfan51	5	334	Jan 24, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Courage to Change - January 22 (Preview) Hello MIP friends, I am posting quite late and shorter than usual. I've been without internet for a few days, hopefully being fixed tomorrow, and this has been quite a lesson in Acceptance. But meanwhile, I am humbled to be able to post about this reading which tells me the true meaning of Detachment. ...	Freetime	6	1363	Jan 24, 2021 by Iamhere
	Backdraft (Preview) There are now some new technical terms to describe some of our issues in recovery One of them is #backdraft# that is when we start applying boundaries, regulating our emotions and doing better self care we sometimes have to deal with even more symptoms The other issue of course is when we begin to set...	Maresie888	8	1165	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C 1/23/21 (Preview) Today in Courage to Change, the pages talk about Step 3: we "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over the the care of God as we understood Him." I will be quoting directly from the pages: "This is a big decision for those of us who have a tough time making even small decisions. Until I found Al-Anon...	PosiesandPuppies	4	295	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change January 20 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on anonymity in Al-Anon. "Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions" The author shares that anonymity lets us leave WHAT we are at the door, and get to know WHO we are. We can leave the surnames, labels, and expectations we have bee...	Skorpi	8	1068	Jan 24, 2021 by Maresie888
	Married a recovering alcholic who recently fell off the wagon after 18 years sobriety (Preview) I have just joined and want to first say how comforting this group is. Thank you all. I married my husband in 2009 after being a single mom for 18 years. He had two children from a previous marriage (which broke up because of his drinking) and his 13-year old son lived with him. He was very upfront about...	Nancym	7	1277	Jan 23, 2021 by Nancym
	A Share... (Preview) In the day- I went to a neighbouring town with a group of AA's. They dropped my off at the home of a wife- when they went to the meeting. W. told me that she did not want to go to Alanon. She said it would open up a can of worms for her. After all this time hubby is still in AA- and she is as right as rain. I was the op...	DavidG	8	1175	Jan 22, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	On behalf of my kids... (Preview) Hi! This message board was very helpful to me when I left my marriage almost 4 years ago. My ex is an active alcoholic. I mistakenly thought things would get better for my children and me once I finally moved out and took the youngest with me. The two older ones were already living on their own. Things did g...	GracieP	6	685	Jan 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	1/19/21 ODAT – Just For Today… (Preview) Today's Reminder: "Just for today I will live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt I had to keep it up for a lifetime.""I will slow my pace. If I am under pressure and setting myself deadlines and worrying about tomo...	Enigmatic	6	365	Jan 19, 2021 by JerryF
	Back-yard stuff... (Preview) I have chooks in the back yard. Hens- that is... The grandkids had chooks first. I always wanted them.Their dad said they had to go- and i took them over. I still have one aging non-laying bantam as a result of this. But three layers, as well... We are lucky. one daughter in the next town. Oldest daugh...	DavidG	10	704	Jan 19, 2021 by Maresie888
	C2C, 1/18 (Preview) The reading for Monday, 1/18, talks about why we need to focus on ourselves. The reminder says: Is the help I offer truly loving or do I have other motives? Am I trying to change another person or get them to do what I want? Talking it over with my sponsor can offer perspective. My best hope for helping...	Lyne	5	825	Jan 18, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Hope for Today Jan 17 (Preview) Good morning everyone- Todays page focuses on the concept of letting go. The writer compares his/her own struggle with opening up to the flowers in a bouquet- some of the buds remained closed, others were open with bloom on display. The writer notes that he/she often used restraint out of fear that ot...	yanksfan51	5	760	Jan 17, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Taking Out The Trash (Preview) This morning I opened up my online Journal that I've been writing in since probably 2010 or 2011. On the side is a list of all the entry titles and I was sad and surprised to see just how many are about AH and all of our problems and fights. I was even sadder to realize how many years this has been going on and no...	SunnyFrogs	6	506	Jan 17, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Recovering addict boyfriend pushing me away Al-anon alcohol boyfriend loved one distance space (Preview) Hi my name is Jaylie. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years in January 5th. We met as juniors in high school. and started dating almost a full year later mid senior year. Since then it has been a roller coaster of emotions. we had a really good relationship for the first 4 months. He smoked weed I hated it...	Jayliejewell	3	2120	Jan 17, 2021 by Iamhere
	Self care redux (Preview) I have spent the last few days doing self care then setting up systems where I can continue that self care However I note that many of my friends like me have neglected big portions of self care One of my friends for example went to Las Vegas for New Years. Quite apart from the fact that no one is supposed to...	Maresie888	9	1992	Jan 17, 2021 by Maresie888
	COURAGE TO CHANGE - SATURDAY (Preview) Today's reading speaks of learning to "Think." The author speaks of before Al-Anon, they would speak whatever entered their mind. Angry accusations were met with their own angry accusations... an urge to betray a confidence, to gossip were unstopped. Now they stop and "Think." Therefore, they ma...	PosiesandPuppies	8	364	Jan 16, 2021 by Iamhere
	Denying ourselves (Preview) Currently my expenses are more than my income. I.have had an unexpected medical expense that is pretty big. Staging it out is really scary. As a child most of my needs were not met. As an adult I.have been around people who are notoriously selfish. I learned to.ignore and squash my needs around them ...	Maresie888	5	1174	Jan 15, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change - January 15 - Worry (Preview) Today's reading describes a day in the life of someone worried about a crisis happening to an alcoholic -- unable to concentrate at work, projecting horrible outcomes, dreading what the future may bring. The slogan One Day at a Time helps prevent leaping into the future. Worrying does not protect us...	Freetime	6	631	Jan 15, 2021 by Iamhere
	January 14, 2021 – ODAT – Honesty With Ourselves (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that if we know or sense that someone is resentful or dislikes us that we can seek to understand why. It is then, when we are honestly seeking those answers that we can learn, not only about ourselves but to have an opportunity to makeamends if necessary. It is suggested th...	Debb	8	504	Jan 14, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Need Some Input! (Preview) I have been working the 12 steps for the past 4 weeks. Have to admit when I restarted, I looked over my original work back in 2014, cause I saved what I did, that it was a real help to see that what I did was basically the same as now! Not sure if that is good or bad. The reason I need input is because I feel stu...	Debb	9	1230	Jan 14, 2021 by SunnyFrogs
	Failed again (Preview) Ive been trying very hard not to engage when AH is drinking. This holiday season went as usual: He has multiple days off and all of them are spent getting drunk. Im trying to accept that he does this, to take care of myself and leave him be to do what he wants. Detach and do my own thing. Sure enough tonight he...	Seahorse7	13	1944	Jan 13, 2021 by Debb
	Step 12. (Preview) I would like to share about Step 12 and what it means to me, I feel the Gratitude towards The Higher Power, who I call God, for giving this wonderful Spiritual Program to both Dr Bob and Bill for AA, and Louis and Anne for our wonderful program. Then for both parties for having the courage, strength and com...	WendyP	5	564	Jan 13, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change January 13 - spiritual freedom (Preview) Hello MIP! Today's reading from C2C is about spiritual freedom. The author shares that they received spiritual freedom through Al-Anon because the program encourages us each to find a personal understanding of a Higher power, and to allow others to do the same. A personal understanding of HP and...	Skorpi	6	1147	Jan 13, 2021 by DavidG
	1/12/21 Courage to Change – Detachment (Preview) Today's author observed a colony of bees and drew a parallel to detachment from the alcoholic. By not poking into their business, especially when there may be physical, spiritual or emotional risk, we can avoid getting stung when we maintain a safe distance. We still love them, but we recognize the r...	Enigmatic	7	1743	Jan 13, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	How Alanon Works for Families & Friends of Alcoholics: Detachment and Forgiveness (Preview) For Monday, 1/11, I came across some amazing ideas from the book titled above. The author states that recovery is about reclaiming our own lives, learning to focus on ourselves, build on our strengths, and ask for and accept help. When we cannot live our own lives because of the preoccupation of othe...	Lyne	7	2441	Jan 13, 2021 by Bettertomorrow
	... this is just a little share... (Preview) I am over on the coast painting. One of my two ewes had a lamb this week. In my years in Alanon I have learned the power of other people. For quite some time ~the people in the programme~ was my higher power. This is still a part of what my higher power is today. I am painting a roof... ...I got out...	DavidG	5	4420	Jan 12, 2021 by Maresie888
	Hope for Today Jan 10 (Preview) Good morning everyone: Todays reading is a focus on one aspect of the fallout from being a child of an alcoholic. The writer describes vowing never to drink (the vow many children of alcoholics make). The writer finds another path to drunkenness though: feelings. The writer describes being unable...	yanksfan51	6	2527	Jan 11, 2021 by DavidG
	Courage to Change Saturday (Preview) "Today my best is good enough." Today's reading is about learning to validate yourself. To stop looking for validation from outside sources. Examples were given: the work project was a success, but somehow we are not satisfied unless someone says so. Or the dinner prepared was delicious and nutrit...	PosiesandPuppies	5	4346	Jan 10, 2021 by Maresie888
	January 7, 2021 – ODAT – Detaching From The Hurt (Preview) Todays ODAT reading suggests that when something unkind is said or done to us; that hurt our feelings, that detachment is the best way to turn the hurt feelings off,until we can figure out what our responsibility is for the unkindness. Once we figure out if there was something we did to cause the unkin...	Debb	6	2173	Jan 9, 2021 by DavidG
	S e r v i c e ... (Preview) A word I hear a lot, coming out of the USA. Service above self. More so than any other place I have been to. Through the middle of my day- Thursday- I have watched events unfold over there. Tradition 10 here- absolutely. But I am impressed- I notice it one whole lot- how this service ethos...	DavidG	7	454	Jan 9, 2021 by Maresie888
	Tradition one (Preview) #Our common welfare should come first# How lucky I am to be in a.group.that welcomes people of all ages, all denominations and at all phases of recovery. Indeed the newcomer is always welcomed.warmly into this group After a tumultuous year full of unheard of stressors.we.have.kept this group....	Maresie888	7	543	Jan 9, 2021 by Lyne
	JADE (Preview) I had an opportunity to practice JADE two evenings ago with AH. Believe it or not he was flipping out about a mouse that was scratching behind the corner baseboard of his bedroom. Was fit to be tied that he could not go to sleep in the room. I suggested he sleep on the couch. Sounds like a simple solutio...	Debb	22	1808	Jan 9, 2021 by Maresie888
	Lighting a candle for Betty (Preview) One of the things that Betty would say to me when she had listened to my problems with dysregulation is to light a candle Betty had a practice of going to church and lighting a candle for others. I really appreciated the thought of her good intentions and hope for me. I thought of Betty as in invincible a...	Maresie888	6	2093	Jan 8, 2021 by Jill
	Courage to Change - January 8 (Preview) Today's author was concerned that their newly sober family member would start drinking again, even trying to control other family members' behavior so they wouldn't cause the alcoholic to relapse -- and this attempt at control was rejected! Finally the author accepted that they were just as po...	Freetime	5	565	Jan 8, 2021 by PosiesandPuppies
	Christmas-Family-Betty. (Preview) Short- for once... Betty dug deep- made over 17,000 shares on this board. She manoevred, and she cajoled sometimes... but by and large she maintained a focus on herself. maybe 6 or 8 of us took her place. Maybe 18 or 24... her rich and deep legacy lies on. ... We honour her by continuing her legacy...	DavidG	8	3130	Jan 7, 2021 by Maresie888
	Courage to Change January 6 (Preview) Hello MIP! In today's reading, the author reflects on the importance of reaching out to other Al-Anon members between meetings. Like many Al-Anon members, the author arrived with a heavy burden due to the impact of alcoholism. Reaching out to Al-Anon members who will listen patiently helps to rel...	Skorpi	6	1593	Jan 7, 2021 by WendyP
	Holding on By a Thread (Preview) Hello, I've been thinking about going to an Al-Anon meeting for a while, I've looked up dates and times in my local area and today even thought "If I find one that's on today, I'll go"... but then when I found one WAS on today I felt too terrified and closed the browser window immediately. I find it hard to b...	Lighthouse	5	1815	Jan 6, 2021 by WendyP
	1/5/21 Courage to Change – Compassion, or Enabling? (Preview) Today's author misunderstood compassion toward the alcoholic to include making excuses or covering for them monetarily. AlAnon suggests this behavior is 'enabling' the alcoholic to progress in their disease without facing the consequences. Enabling interferes by lengthening the time it tak...	Enigmatic	9	1572	Jan 5, 2021 by Ann_Y
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.