Tradition one - Al-Anon Family Group

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

Tradition one

Debb · ~*Service Worker*~

Thank you Maresie for this topic!

"Our common welfare should come first; personal progress for the greatest number depends upon unity".

I totally agree with all that you stated, it is why I feel a very special kinship with everyone on this board.

Am equally grateful and want to thank everyone for all that we do for each other as we move through a

new year together. Thank you to not only present members but to past members who are no longer with

us and to the Al-Anon program that was the catalyst.

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

One of my core experiences as a child was I had to go to a childrens home for a while
The experience was devastating for me in many ways
One of the ways of course was that we were neglected emotionally. Therefore I had in order to survive learn to ignore my needs. There was no room for outcry
It became necessary to learn to ignore my needs.
Therefore these requests to learn to ignore my needs were something that followed me into adulthold. Only.now they are a trigger for the unresolved grief about being put into.that situation
Thankfully I.am no longer willing to ignore my.needs. There are of course numerous people who.want to.insist on that

I am truly grateful to those who have worked to describe the links between codependence and a neglected childhood
Surviving is indeed a really honorable thing. I.am grateful to have survived. Now I want to thrive.
Maresie

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

aww One thing I learned from Betty was that there was a difference between a business meeting and a conscience meeting.

The business meeting is designed to address the nuts and bots of the group. The finances, the various group roles.

A conscience meeting is about sorting out any issues. Around here, in this group, for me, it is about the group conscience.

I try to be courteous, which is not hard to do here! biggrin This is an invisible, soundness place but an awful lot goes on! Much more content than one meeting a week, or two.

I think I have been around Alanon long enough to know the basic boundaries. What I don't know I am prepared to learn. To listen.

At our assembly we have nomination, vote, scrutineers etc etc. There has only ever been one person up for the position, but we still do that.

If there was two- there would be a brief sort out. On person might decide to go next.

In the "General Warranties of Conference I like No. 3 the best: "that all decisions be reached by discussion vote and where possible by unanimity."

Be consensus, in other words.

The big function of this group is to pay the bills once a year. This always works out well. aww

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

Well David

I.was just really talking aboit how to.be in a group woth others. Obviously that common purpose helps me in many situations

I am indeed lucky to be in a place where there are many meetings

In some ways online recoveryncan be vey rich and nuaced

However I.know that face to face recovery can also be very very helpful

I am certain that the virtual element will remain after the pandemic

I.am lucky to have a program to help me navgate through the pandemic.

Maresie

-- Edited by Maresie888 on Saturday 9th of January 2021 09:54:14 AM

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

aww Maresie... the leader of our country has made ~kindness~ a part of her national policy.

A real blessing. aww ... ... ... I am thinking of The Waltons, or some other Tv show where family members kick back,

and talk about stuff. Not something we are familiar with in most of our families. So in Alanon we do this very gingerly

[I think] because we have to actually create boundaries amongst ourselves- in order to do this.

Our forum/board is not an official Alanon group. Having said that I regard it as such, for myself. Use the same ideas and

principles. For me- it shows me what a modern composite Alanon group can achieve.

Until a year ago we had heaps and heaps of visitors here. 100's and 100's. That dried up. Nothing at all to do with us,

I suspect. People come along here through a google search, or by word of mouth. I suspect that a lot of those visitors

moved along to "In The Rooms" or something similar.

Despite that change our group continues to grow. Mostly, now with contributing members. Former members are returning.

And we are getting regular new members all the time.

I have joined a f2f group with 4 members. Sometimes we have meeting of two. Sometimes just one!

So we end up getting a whole lot of sharing time each!

I gave them my cell-phone no. last week- to keep in the loop.

Last week me and the long-timer there talked 19 to the dozen... we know a lot of recovery people in common.

It is kind of Alanon secret- that we talk about people we already know- "family" stuff. But we do not disclose or

discuss personal sharing apart from our own.

There's a bit of a skill here- and a sign that we have healthy boundaries- without being rigid.

Talk of Tradition One- is sometimes a cue to take the pulse of a group, Maresie...

well nuanced here... and maybe much easier to manage than a F2F group??? smile

-- Edited by DavidG on Friday 8th of January 2021 02:24:37 PM

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

David

We live in a place that is mired in emergebcy

I.do not know if and when we will evee get back to face to face

All I can do is to take care of what I have to in front of me

Therefore what will happen in face to face is out of ny bandwidth.

I have to just focus in what I can do now

Right now it is focusing on my medical issues.

We have no knowing when this energency will end.

I am really glad it ended fir you

For myself and other oeople we have simoly have had to give up planning for when it will be over

We are almost at a year point now

There is no end in sight at this time

I am really glad al anon has been able to continue

However for my mental health I can no lomger even consider what life will be like after the pandemic

We have no end in sight. Every day I have to.deal with people who are completely exasperated. I cannot go to that point of exasperation it is a red zone for me.

Maresie

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

Finding this group was a stroke of luck, and one which is carrying me into my recovery. Every part of alanon that I get involved with has been a blessing. Because we all know something of the damage from alcohol, I think we treat each other with compassion and kindness. At least that's my experience with MIP. I'm grateful and proud to be a part of this outstanding work in progress. :)

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.