Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

sadsusie · sadsusie

Backstory: 14 years of Marriage to my AH. Verbally abusive. Controlling, manipulative. I worked 80 hours a week at our businesses while he told me what a loser I was. I am sure you now the drill. He never treated me well. I just made excuses. He made promises. Got into Doing drugs. Has spend over $100,000...

afglin · afglin

I have a question. I want to know what you used as a guide when you worked Step Four. I have been in Alanon 22 years. I worked step 4 about 5 different times and always used the small book Blueprint for Progress. I did alot of writing after each section and listed my strengths as well as growth areas I neede...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

So I finally was able to talk to my husband two days ago.. For the first time in my life ( thanks to all of you) I was very calm when I spoke to him. I told him I loved him, and I always would but I can no longer support him and watch him destroy himself. That he has to handle the decisions he has made on his own. I als...

texasgal · texasgal

I went on a few dates with a man I met, but I didn't feel comfortable anymore. I am still not divorced from my ah. I haven't seen or had any contact with him in 8 months. But I am still legally married and since I am I do not feel comfortable dating. I just sent my ah an email requesting divorce. The man I went on d...

milkwood · milkwood

I can not listen to AH complaining about me. My resentment and anger just grows. I'm back in the spare room again. So sad. Can't stand him.

hotrod · hotrod

How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! I am back from Bermuda where I did not have internet access . Missed you guys Please join in and share your thoughts htt...

el-cee · el-cee

Im feeling grateful because ... Im seeing some changes in my family members that show progress and some healthy thinking creeping in. Its not perfect but for today in this moment it is. Ive got this program to help me make the right choices, my country is at fever pitch and its exciting and scary. Im try...

sookie · sookie

I am struggling so much with letting go of that dream of a happy home/family. My AH and I are divorcing--the financial situation is horrifying. I am now having to be away from my kids for the first time ever. I'm a mess. Yet I finally look around my home and it is full of loving memories too--and I feel all I...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

My dark fantasies are evolving .. LOL .. now these are meant tongue and cheek. When I started my journey .. ohhh the whiskey truck getting set on fire in the country was a big go to one for me .. LOL .. I had one day that the STBAX had to go out and move the truck or I don't think I could have controlled myself. T...

el-cee · el-cee

I went to a meeting today, an out of town meeting and someone said something that I hadnt heard of and I wanted to share. The steps can be broken down into 4 parts, steps 1 to 3 are about facing up, 4 to 6 are owning up, 7 to 9 are making up, 10 to 12 are keeping up. I liked that, sounds simple enough to me.x

shosh18 · shosh18

Hi everyone. I am new to this and want to introduce myself. Reading some of your posts has given me a lot of comfort knowing I am not alone. I get very anxious too when I think of living with A, and leaving AH. Does anyone else get anxious and depressed about their situation. My story in brief... Don't live...

el-cee · el-cee

My name is lc and im a recovering perfectionist. What are you recovering from?

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

So...AH was nice to me for a few days. Even asked if he could start dating me. I told him he didn't have enough money to date anyone!! Lol. Still NO JOB!! I worked many hours today, so forgive me, but I am not happy to end my day this way. So, I go over to the house to give my daughter her clothes for the weekend....

Tossed Salad · Tossed Salad

Boy am I in a funk today. I feel like I got hit by a bus! I am emotionally and physically exhausted! Littlest one broke his arm on Wed, AH cancelled his dinner with kids last night, getting into swing of things with new job and meeting with lawyer on Tuesday. Lots going on. Unfortunately being sole care...

Luiza · Luiza

Since Sunday when my H realised there is no other way a part from separation, he has been spiteful, inconvenient, unpleasant and dreadful for the whole week. And also got drunk everyday. Well today his mum is coming for a sleep over. He came home early, sober, is acting nicely and treating me well. He is...

Luiza · Luiza

First let me explain. I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. I had one bad Christmas in my early childhood because of my dad's alcoholism and this changed Christmas for me forever. I have had good fun Christmases with my FOO after that but Christmas for me is no big deal. At all. I can not get exc...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I can't believe this day. I woke up, made coffee, put the coffee on the bedside and proceeded to knock it over. I tried to catch it and I hit my bad foot and now it's black and blue. The coffee all over the carpet but didn't have time to clean it up so I just put a towel down to soak up some and would clean it whe...

missmeliss · missmeliss

Well, I guess today was the day. I've known for a long time that we have to move next month, I've known I have a lot of big things to do, and I've gone around in circles a lot, I can't do this until I do that, but I can't do that until U do this other thing...excuses excuses...or maybe not, I've made a lot of huge c...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

It has been busy is putting it mildly .. I spoke at the Alanon function and had a lovely time. I can see how far I have come and see how far I have to go. That's a good thing and I like that it's not done nor will it ever be .. it's just learning something new each day and it's a journey. My mom has some kind of ey...

sookie · sookie

Has anyone wound up having to support their A after a divorce through ungodly amounts of alimony for a looooong period of time? I am petrified this is where my life is going. The fear is clouding my judgment I think and overtaking my serenity. As if divorce isn't emotional enough, the laws regarding ali...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Okay, So I am very frustrated. Bottom line, I do not trust my AH. (surprise lol). I know what I expect to see if he is in recovery and I know what I expect NOT to see. Well, lets just say that there is absolutely no good reason to take out $250 cash at 4am. I am tired of him not "getting" it. I get mad a...

Grammie Kathy · Grammie Kathy

Flower49 · Flower49

Interesting lunch phone call with my AH. He said in his pitiful voice that he only has 15 dollars till he gets paid next week. He had to pay his rent, pay guys for gas to drive him around and of course he paid me. Now, he is almost 1000 up on his rent at the house. He then indicated that although he had invited me...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I have been contemplating posting today. I am worried about my adult Son having to deal with my AH. He seems so sad and I know I cannot 'fix' his sadness. My AH did it again last night. He was suppose to go to grandson's football game. He was told several times of the time and place. He chose to do somet...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hey everyone! Talked with my AH this morning. He has been quite busy this week with completing his fourth and fifth step and then becoming an Alumni of his group home. What all the means to me is I don't know, however this morning he called as he usually does and told me that his "hazing" into th...

Lyne · Lyne

I was at my F2F meeting last night, and the topic of grief was mentioned in one of the readings. I shared about the loss of the marriage I thought I had, maybe did have, want to have, but do not. I also spoke about the damage that not only has been done to me, but the hurt I have watched happen to my son and dtr...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have a piece of land I rent out. nice family put a new fifth wheel there. Now I have to put up a permanent structure to make it legal. It's not legal to have anyone live in an RV. Because A's disease devastated me financially I am going round and around how to do this. Just found out I have to pay a couple hundr...

missmeliss · missmeliss

So, I noticed something new about myself this morning. I mean, I still have a big long way to go but every so often I realise how differently I approach things these days and it just amazes me. I got up early and went for a march on the beach. I get up early quite often lately, even when I don't need to. It's my n...

phiphi · phiphi

Dear MIP members, How good it feels to find someone else too is going through what I m. I live in a remote place where there is no organized AA or al-anon meets. So finding you all is such help to me.I am a married with four lovely children , three of them in their teens. Fortunately, my teens do not give me a...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

Today my husband asked if my daughter and I could come to the house and have dinner with him. He said he just wanted us all to be nice to each other and enjoy dinner and watch the dogs play. "normal" family stuff. And we weren't going to bring up anything controversial such as him not having a job...

grateful2be · grateful2be

Today, I spent some time in one of my favorite places in the City. A gal who I had been close to several years ago was in the same place. We'd had not so much a falling out but a parting of the ways when her behavior changed in ways towards me that I simply couldn't understand. We'd known each other for so lo...

lookingup · lookingup

What's in inventory and how do I go about or take inventory of myself need examples plz.....and how do I go from feeling hatred toward my exbf to feelings of ?????.we argue I have nothing good to say to him.except lots of accusations .i know I'm responsible for me what I think,feel,want and need.and I re...

singingnick377 · singingnick377

Hi Everyone, There is one person who really manages to push my buttons and that is my mother. It was my Father who was an alcoholic but of course the whole family is affected by it and we live in Dysfunctionville. I have always felt pretty neglected by my parents. My dad is dead now and I always feel that I ha...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Yeppers...I daily wake up to the abbreviated 3rd step prayer (abbreviated because whenI use to do the long version my HP use to whisper "keep it simple Jerry F"). Knowing that I wake up in the presence of my Higher Power I ask "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". Y...

hdftby100 · hdftby100

It's been over a year since I have posted on here. I managed to get the three Cs and many times would recite them to myself. I tried groups but just didn't seem to fit in, so I got by. Maybe I have been slowly deteriorating. Last week I came home to my A intoxicated. I lost it and just broke down crying. In h...

Newlife girl · Newlife girl

The video is so disturbing. Made me sick. A comment someone made on Twitter really bothered me. They said "no woman has a right to hit a man either. She wasn't innocent." Something to that effect. At the beginning of the video it shows her barely pushing him on the shoulder. I am not saying it'...

Tampa · Tampa

TOPICS: PATIENCE, SECRETS, OPEN TOPIC 9AM ESTThe website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which users will need to add t...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Please contact me immediately or I will be forced to ban you. Please stop with the spell stuff. NOT appropriate here!

lookingup · lookingup

Exbf is being really nice after we had a huge argument the nite before.i spent my day with some old friends I hadn't seen in years they were tickeld pink we all had a great time laughing and visiting and catching up on things of the past.LIFE CAN BE GOOD!!!!i love my friends and family.

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

Its been two weeks since my husband left rehab. I was doing really well up until yesterday. I spent the whole day crying. I feel so incredibly weak. Even when he was an active addict, before going to rehab, he never used to behave in this type of matter. After going to rehab, and since he relapsed, it has g...

Jenny29 · Jenny29

Hi all, I am worried about my brother, he is an alcoholic and living alone in an apartment, he seems to be pretty paranoid and in the past he makes references towards killing himself, he has then told me he would never do this, but I am still concerned. I ended up on anti depressants myself as I felt very d...

Kay10 · Kay10

So I'm learning to live life on life's current terms. Trying to let go and let God, and working to better understand myself and how I relate to others. As I become more aware, and as I consciously try to work through the thoughts and feelings and anxiety that are ME.... I realize that I have basically surr...

CarlyM123 · CarlyM123

I have questions. I need answers. Why is it that the more the addict does, the unspeakable awful things they do when they use, do we keep going back to them over and over? Is it because there is such a fear of being lonely or is it because they are so amazing when they are sober that we can just look past those...

Jessmine · Jessmine

Has anyone had a qualifier who has stayed sober after multiple treatments without a detailed recovery plan? I know, sounds naive.

cloudyskies · cloudyskies

prayers for my mom. I've had her in the ER twice this week. We go back to the doctor this afternoon. I did not realize how much an ER can wear a person down. I'm tired. Also, the baby in the picture is my granddaughter. She's three now. I hope everyone has a great day.

Luiza · Luiza

I told him many times but I made it crystal clear on the 30th August that marriage is over, there won't be any more 'last chances', I just CAN'T do this anymore. It is not that I don't even want to have another go, I just CAN'T. Even though I was convinced it was over, my head played tricks on me and I considere...

shimo · shimo

WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Unacceptable behavior; Denial; Self-care The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.o...

lookingup · lookingup

It went great,so happy I went wished I could remember what all we talked about but it's way too early this morning when I remember I'll sure share it.thanks for all the help,I did learn that I was sick and that by my acting out in craziness that that made 2 of us crazy under the same roof wouldn't be good.

RoseODAT · RoseODAT

I fall and try getting back up. Getting up seems pretty hard, but that is why I'm here. Divorce is in process. Soon to be ex mom-in-law, although "well meaning" made a comment I did not feel like hearing today. It brought up my resentments and again, I do not want to hold any. It's not easy not...

sadsusie · sadsusie

Married 15 years, Never treated me well. I can remember wanting to leave him regularly for about that long. I have been ignoring all of that as if I feel like I need to get what I invested in this "relationship". He is manipulative. I mean he IS manipulative, do I want to live with that. He IS sel...

Venera · Venera

I am still puzzled by the detachment. A lot of times i read that no matter what we say to an A he won't do anything untill he hits his bottom, etc.. I understand I need to my mind my own business, worry about my recovery and detach from him. But does it mean never discuss his drinking? I understand about not ta...

Yazzymedo86 · Yazzymedo86

Hi All, I want to thank you for the response I received to my last post. I can not begin to explain how much it helped. Since my last post, my husband is acting worse. I keep telling him we need to sit down and talk. He keeps avoiding me. I cant stand it when he is using he becomes a different person. I know I s...

singingnick377 · singingnick377

Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this website. I have done a meeting but not posted anything in the forum. I used to attend meetings in Amsterdam when I lived there. I have been experiencing a lot of muscle tension in my body for the last four years. It started with jaw tension and is not the best thing a...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Some people have it bad..... WOW

el-cee · el-cee

Confidence, self worth, self belief, self care, honesty, self respect. This is what I got by going to meetings and learning this program. Thats when everything changed. When youve got a bit of this then untreated alcoholism is just not good enough -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 8th of September 2014 0...

Alicea67 · Alicea67

I've been dealing with my alcoholic/schizophrenic son for more than 15 yrs. he has been to rehabs, incarceration, homelessness,etc. He doesn't seem to have a bottom. The biggest problem that I have with him is that I'm his SS benefits payee. I pay for his room and food and the rest of the money he is usi...

Hullibee · Hullibee

I know I need to keep my focus on myself and I try to do that most times, but last night was a very stressful night. My AH went on a binge and did not come home. I have read my ODAT, prayed to HP and cried. Nothing is relieving my FEAR and pain. I have been calling him repeatedly since early this morning. No...

likemyheart · likemyheart

So, this morning I'm standing at the sink doing dishes and watching the birds enjoy their morning feast of grapes from my one huge Sigmund the Sea Monster vine and thinking - I like grapes, they're good grapes, but I don't eat many, they have seeds, but that isn't why I don't eat them, I just don't eat more...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi -My sponsor is away for a week and for the first time, in over a year of working together, I miss the daily contact, and it's only the first day! I feel a loss and I know when she gets back, we will continue as usual. During the past 10 yrs or so, I have rejected new people who wished to be friends with me. I...

lookingup · lookingup

Son invited me to come up and spend the night with him and cook out,enjoying it seems though like my greiveing is harder today I've been trying to keep him off my mind by washing my car,visiting getting out of town and of course come ing here to share I'm been catching myself blinking back my tears,I'm sai...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Needing a mantra or two (Preview) Backstory: 14 years of Marriage to my AH. Verbally abusive. Controlling, manipulative. I worked 80 hours a week at our businesses while he told me what a loser I was. I am sure you now the drill. He never treated me well. I just made excuses. He made promises. Got into Doing drugs. Has spend over $100,000...	sadsusie	10	1571	Sep 15, 2014 by Temple
	Step Four (Preview) I have a question. I want to know what you used as a guide when you worked Step Four. I have been in Alanon 22 years. I worked step 4 about 5 different times and always used the small book Blueprint for Progress. I did alot of writing after each section and listed my strengths as well as growth areas I neede...	afglin	12	634	Sep 15, 2014 by afglin
	A little update.... (Preview) So I finally was able to talk to my husband two days ago.. For the first time in my life ( thanks to all of you) I was very calm when I spoke to him. I told him I loved him, and I always would but I can no longer support him and watch him destroy himself. That he has to handle the decisions he has made on his own. I als...	Yazzymedo86	5	587	Sep 15, 2014 by Yazzymedo86
	moving forward not so easy (Preview) I went on a few dates with a man I met, but I didn't feel comfortable anymore. I am still not divorced from my ah. I haven't seen or had any contact with him in 8 months. But I am still legally married and since I am I do not feel comfortable dating. I just sent my ah an email requesting divorce. The man I went on d...	texasgal	3	474	Sep 14, 2014 by Mirandac
	Resentments (Preview) I can not listen to AH complaining about me. My resentment and anger just grows. I'm back in the spare room again. So sad. Can't stand him.	milkwood	8	538	Sep 14, 2014 by hotrod
	STEP 3 HAS BEEN POSTED TO THE STEP BOARD (Preview) How The Twelve Steps Work.Participate in your own recovery as well as the recovery of others, by being active on this board as we go through the 12 Steps of recovery together! I am back from Bermuda where I did not have internet access . Missed you guys Please join in and share your thoughts htt...	hotrod	6	362	Sep 14, 2014 by hotrod
	im grateful (Preview) Im feeling grateful because ... Im seeing some changes in my family members that show progress and some healthy thinking creeping in. Its not perfect but for today in this moment it is. Ive got this program to help me make the right choices, my country is at fever pitch and its exciting and scary. Im try...	el-cee	13	636	Sep 14, 2014 by hotrod
	Grieving and giving up the dream (Preview) I am struggling so much with letting go of that dream of a happy home/family. My AH and I are divorcing--the financial situation is horrifying. I am now having to be away from my kids for the first time ever. I'm a mess. Yet I finally look around my home and it is full of loving memories too--and I feel all I...	sookie	9	624	Sep 14, 2014 by hotrod
	New Dark Fantasies .. (Preview) My dark fantasies are evolving .. LOL .. now these are meant tongue and cheek. When I started my journey .. ohhh the whiskey truck getting set on fire in the country was a big go to one for me .. LOL .. I had one day that the STBAX had to go out and move the truck or I don't think I could have controlled myself. T...	SerenityRUS	1	278	Sep 14, 2014 by Debilyn
	easy steps (Preview) I went to a meeting today, an out of town meeting and someone said something that I hadnt heard of and I wanted to share. The steps can be broken down into 4 parts, steps 1 to 3 are about facing up, 4 to 6 are owning up, 7 to 9 are making up, 10 to 12 are keeping up. I liked that, sounds simple enough to me.x	el-cee	3	307	Sep 14, 2014 by afglin
	Sad and anxious..my story (Preview) Hi everyone. I am new to this and want to introduce myself. Reading some of your posts has given me a lot of comfort knowing I am not alone. I get very anxious too when I think of living with A, and leaving AH. Does anyone else get anxious and depressed about their situation. My story in brief... Don't live...	shosh18	32	2880	Sep 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	perfectionism (Preview) My name is lc and im a recovering perfectionist. What are you recovering from?	el-cee	14	782	Sep 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	I will not be fooled again!! (Preview) So...AH was nice to me for a few days. Even asked if he could start dating me. I told him he didn't have enough money to date anyone!! Lol. Still NO JOB!! I worked many hours today, so forgive me, but I am not happy to end my day this way. So, I go over to the house to give my daughter her clothes for the weekend....	Newlife girl	18	668	Sep 14, 2014 by grateful2be
	Down (Preview) Boy am I in a funk today. I feel like I got hit by a bus! I am emotionally and physically exhausted! Littlest one broke his arm on Wed, AH cancelled his dinner with kids last night, getting into swing of things with new job and meeting with lawyer on Tuesday. Lots going on. Unfortunately being sole care...	Tossed Salad	4	460	Sep 14, 2014 by Tossed Salad
	Manipulation (Preview) Since Sunday when my H realised there is no other way a part from separation, he has been spiteful, inconvenient, unpleasant and dreadful for the whole week. And also got drunk everyday. Well today his mum is coming for a sleep over. He came home early, sober, is acting nicely and treating me well. He is...	Luiza	19	736	Sep 14, 2014 by Mirandac
	To torture or not to torture? (Preview) First let me explain. I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. I had one bad Christmas in my early childhood because of my dad's alcoholism and this changed Christmas for me forever. I have had good fun Christmases with my FOO after that but Christmas for me is no big deal. At all. I can not get exc...	Luiza	3	530	Sep 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	Bad Day (Preview) I can't believe this day. I woke up, made coffee, put the coffee on the bedside and proceeded to knock it over. I tried to catch it and I hit my bad foot and now it's black and blue. The coffee all over the carpet but didn't have time to clean it up so I just put a towel down to soak up some and would clean it whe...	Cathyinaz	13	655	Sep 13, 2014 by Luiza
	And away we go... (Preview) Well, I guess today was the day. I've known for a long time that we have to move next month, I've known I have a lot of big things to do, and I've gone around in circles a lot, I can't do this until I do that, but I can't do that until U do this other thing...excuses excuses...or maybe not, I've made a lot of huge c...	missmeliss	7	557	Sep 13, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Don't know where to start .. LOL .. (Preview) It has been busy is putting it mildly .. I spoke at the Alanon function and had a lovely time. I can see how far I have come and see how far I have to go. That's a good thing and I like that it's not done nor will it ever be .. it's just learning something new each day and it's a journey. My mom has some kind of ey...	SerenityRUS	3	515	Sep 13, 2014 by grateful2be
	divorce/alimony (Preview) Has anyone wound up having to support their A after a divorce through ungodly amounts of alimony for a looooong period of time? I am petrified this is where my life is going. The fear is clouding my judgment I think and overtaking my serenity. As if divorce isn't emotional enough, the laws regarding ali...	sookie	6	546	Sep 13, 2014 by SerenityRUS
	It is NOT my responsibility to explain to my AH that he is a hot mess. (Preview) Okay, So I am very frustrated. Bottom line, I do not trust my AH. (surprise lol). I know what I expect to see if he is in recovery and I know what I expect NOT to see. Well, lets just say that there is absolutely no good reason to take out $250 cash at 4am. I am tired of him not "getting" it. I get mad a...	sadsusie	13	683	Sep 12, 2014 by Kay10
	Anyone care to share about your own phenomenon of craving as an Al-Anon? I'm trying to comprehend and understand my own (Preview)	Grammie Kathy	14	727	Sep 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Bamboozled Update (Preview) Interesting lunch phone call with my AH. He said in his pitiful voice that he only has 15 dollars till he gets paid next week. He had to pay his rent, pay guys for gas to drive him around and of course he paid me. Now, he is almost 1000 up on his rent at the house. He then indicated that although he had invited me...	Flower49	2	363	Sep 12, 2014 by Debilyn
	Sadness for Son (Preview) I have been contemplating posting today. I am worried about my adult Son having to deal with my AH. He seems so sad and I know I cannot 'fix' his sadness. My AH did it again last night. He was suppose to go to grandson's football game. He was told several times of the time and place. He chose to do somet...	Hullibee	15	676	Sep 12, 2014 by grateful2be
	Feeling Bamboozled (Preview) Hey everyone! Talked with my AH this morning. He has been quite busy this week with completing his fourth and fifth step and then becoming an Alumni of his group home. What all the means to me is I don't know, however this morning he called as he usually does and told me that his "hazing" into th...	Flower49	17	683	Sep 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	woke up angry at my A (Preview) I was at my F2F meeting last night, and the topic of grief was mentioned in one of the readings. I shared about the loss of the marriage I thought I had, maybe did have, want to have, but do not. I also spoke about the damage that not only has been done to me, but the hurt I have watched happen to my son and dtr...	Lyne	11	609	Sep 12, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	Leftovers from A's disease (Preview) I have a piece of land I rent out. nice family put a new fifth wheel there. Now I have to put up a permanent structure to make it legal. It's not legal to have anyone live in an RV. Because A's disease devastated me financially I am going round and around how to do this. Just found out I have to pay a couple hundr...	Debilyn	8	652	Sep 12, 2014 by bud
	Today doesn't have to be forever. (Preview) So, I noticed something new about myself this morning. I mean, I still have a big long way to go but every so often I realise how differently I approach things these days and it just amazes me. I got up early and went for a march on the beach. I get up early quite often lately, even when I don't need to. It's my n...	missmeliss	13	652	Sep 12, 2014 by Breakingfree
	my first post - story of my life and my mistakes (Preview) Dear MIP members, How good it feels to find someone else too is going through what I m. I live in a remote place where there is no organized AA or al-anon meets. So finding you all is such help to me.I am a married with four lovely children , three of them in their teens. Fortunately, my teens do not give me a...	phiphi	5	635	Sep 12, 2014 by phiphi
	Turned down his dinner invitation...feeling sad and confused (Preview) Today my husband asked if my daughter and I could come to the house and have dinner with him. He said he just wanted us all to be nice to each other and enjoy dinner and watch the dogs play. "normal" family stuff. And we weren't going to bring up anything controversial such as him not having a job...	Newlife girl	18	686	Sep 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Reading other people's minds (Preview) Today, I spent some time in one of my favorite places in the City. A gal who I had been close to several years ago was in the same place. We'd had not so much a falling out but a parting of the ways when her behavior changed in ways towards me that I simply couldn't understand. We'd known each other for so lo...	grateful2be	9	635	Sep 11, 2014 by el-cee
	Inventory (Preview) What's in inventory and how do I go about or take inventory of myself need examples plz.....and how do I go from feeling hatred toward my exbf to feelings of ?????.we argue I have nothing good to say to him.except lots of accusations .i know I'm responsible for me what I think,feel,want and need.and I re...	lookingup	7	635	Sep 11, 2014 by el-cee
	My buttons have been well and truly pushed. (Preview) Hi Everyone, There is one person who really manages to push my buttons and that is my mother. It was my Father who was an alcoholic but of course the whole family is affected by it and we live in Dysfunctionville. I have always felt pretty neglected by my parents. My dad is dead now and I always feel that I ha...	singingnick377	7	670	Sep 11, 2014 by KennyFenderjazz
	HP listening to MIP and doing some directing? (Preview) Yeppers...I daily wake up to the abbreviated 3rd step prayer (abbreviated because whenI use to do the long version my HP use to whisper "keep it simple Jerry F"). Knowing that I wake up in the presence of my Higher Power I ask "Place me where you want me...tell me what to do". Y...	Jerry F	5	616	Sep 11, 2014 by Jerry F
	Two faces of the disease (Preview) It's been over a year since I have posted on here. I managed to get the three Cs and many times would recite them to myself. I tried groups but just didn't seem to fit in, so I got by. Maybe I have been slowly deteriorating. Last week I came home to my A intoxicated. I lost it and just broke down crying. In h...	hdftby100	7	574	Sep 11, 2014 by Debilyn
	Ray Rice video got me thinking about domestic violence (Preview) The video is so disturbing. Made me sick. A comment someone made on Twitter really bothered me. They said "no woman has a right to hit a man either. She wasn't innocent." Something to that effect. At the beginning of the video it shows her barely pushing him on the shoulder. I am not saying it'...	Newlife girl	33	830	Sep 11, 2014 by pinkchip
	9/11 THURSDAY MORNING (9AM EST) TOPICS: PATIENCE, SECRETS, OPEN TOPIC (Preview) TOPICS: PATIENCE, SECRETS, OPEN TOPIC 9AM ESTThe website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.org, port 6667 which users will need to add t...	Tampa	0	407	Sep 11, 2014 by Tampa
	Hgfgf IMPORTANT (Preview) Please contact me immediately or I will be forced to ban you. Please stop with the spell stuff. NOT appropriate here!	Debilyn	26	2369	Sep 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	I'm still here (Preview) Exbf is being really nice after we had a huge argument the nite before.i spent my day with some old friends I hadn't seen in years they were tickeld pink we all had a great time laughing and visiting and catching up on things of the past.LIFE CAN BE GOOD!!!!i love my friends and family.	lookingup	2	349	Sep 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	Not doing so well... (Preview) Its been two weeks since my husband left rehab. I was doing really well up until yesterday. I spent the whole day crying. I feel so incredibly weak. Even when he was an active addict, before going to rehab, he never used to behave in this type of matter. After going to rehab, and since he relapsed, it has g...	Yazzymedo86	6	708	Sep 10, 2014 by cloudyskies
	worried about my brother. (Preview) Hi all, I am worried about my brother, he is an alcoholic and living alone in an apartment, he seems to be pretty paranoid and in the past he makes references towards killing himself, he has then told me he would never do this, but I am still concerned. I ended up on anti depressants myself as I felt very d...	Jenny29	3	379	Sep 10, 2014 by Debilyn
	Learning so much about my own tendencies, I'm ready to move to a deserted island! (Preview) So I'm learning to live life on life's current terms. Trying to let go and let God, and working to better understand myself and how I relate to others. As I become more aware, and as I consciously try to work through the thoughts and feelings and anxiety that are ME.... I realize that I have basically surr...	Kay10	5	528	Sep 10, 2014 by singingnick377
	desperate call out (Preview) I have questions. I need answers. Why is it that the more the addict does, the unspeakable awful things they do when they use, do we keep going back to them over and over? Is it because there is such a fear of being lonely or is it because they are so amazing when they are sober that we can just look past those...	CarlyM123	13	633	Sep 10, 2014 by Jerry F
	No Recovery Plan (Preview) Has anyone had a qualifier who has stayed sober after multiple treatments without a detailed recovery plan? I know, sounds naive.	Jessmine	5	600	Sep 10, 2014 by Flower49
	Would just like to ask (Preview) prayers for my mom. I've had her in the ER twice this week. We go back to the doctor this afternoon. I did not realize how much an ER can wear a person down. I'm tired. Also, the baby in the picture is my granddaughter. She's three now. I hope everyone has a great day.	cloudyskies	13	593	Sep 10, 2014 by PP
	He finally accepted it is over. (Preview) I told him many times but I made it crystal clear on the 30th August that marriage is over, there won't be any more 'last chances', I just CAN'T do this anymore. It is not that I don't even want to have another go, I just CAN'T. Even though I was convinced it was over, my head played tricks on me and I considere...	Luiza	15	786	Sep 10, 2014 by grateful2be
	WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) (Preview) WEDNESDAY AL-ANON MEETING 9 AM (EST) TOPICS: Unacceptable behavior; Denial; Self-care The website link to the group meeting room is http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html. There are other ways to join the room also. Using mIRC or other chat client, the server we use is irc.chat4all.o...	shimo	0	256	Sep 10, 2014 by shimo
	Made my 1st FTf alanon meeting (Preview) It went great,so happy I went wished I could remember what all we talked about but it's way too early this morning when I remember I'll sure share it.thanks for all the help,I did learn that I was sick and that by my acting out in craziness that that made 2 of us crazy under the same roof wouldn't be good.	lookingup	8	443	Sep 9, 2014 by lookingup
	Resisting...and being Responsible (Preview) I fall and try getting back up. Getting up seems pretty hard, but that is why I'm here. Divorce is in process. Soon to be ex mom-in-law, although "well meaning" made a comment I did not feel like hearing today. It brought up my resentments and again, I do not want to hold any. It's not easy not...	RoseODAT	6	566	Sep 9, 2014 by PP
	Been stuck but now I can't seem to find a reason NOT to get a divorce. (Preview) Married 15 years, Never treated me well. I can remember wanting to leave him regularly for about that long. I have been ignoring all of that as if I feel like I need to get what I invested in this "relationship". He is manipulative. I mean he IS manipulative, do I want to live with that. He IS sel...	sadsusie	6	621	Sep 9, 2014 by andromeda
	Detachment = no talk? (Preview) I am still puzzled by the detachment. A lot of times i read that no matter what we say to an A he won't do anything untill he hits his bottom, etc.. I understand I need to my mind my own business, worry about my recovery and detach from him. But does it mean never discuss his drinking? I understand about not ta...	Venera	14	814	Sep 9, 2014 by Venera
	I need some support again :( (Preview) Hi All, I want to thank you for the response I received to my last post. I can not begin to explain how much it helped. Since my last post, my husband is acting worse. I keep telling him we need to sit down and talk. He keeps avoiding me. I cant stand it when he is using he becomes a different person. I know I s...	Yazzymedo86	10	568	Sep 9, 2014 by pinkchip
	Letting it begin with me (Preview) Hi Everyone, This is my first time on this website. I have done a meeting but not posted anything in the forum. I used to attend meetings in Amsterdam when I lived there. I have been experiencing a lot of muscle tension in my body for the last four years. It started with jaw tension and is not the best thing a...	singingnick377	12	586	Sep 9, 2014 by grateful2be
	I 10 Freeway (Preview) Some people have it bad..... WOW	Cathyinaz	11	600	Sep 9, 2014 by PP
	do you really want change? (Preview) Confidence, self worth, self belief, self care, honesty, self respect. This is what I got by going to meetings and learning this program. Thats when everything changed. When youve got a bit of this then untreated alcoholism is just not good enough -- Edited by el-cee on Monday 8th of September 2014 0...	el-cee	11	669	Sep 8, 2014 by PP
	Sharing first time (Preview) I've been dealing with my alcoholic/schizophrenic son for more than 15 yrs. he has been to rehabs, incarceration, homelessness,etc. He doesn't seem to have a bottom. The biggest problem that I have with him is that I'm his SS benefits payee. I pay for his room and food and the rest of the money he is usi...	Alicea67	5	510	Sep 8, 2014 by tiredtonite
	At wits end ( 1 2 ) (Preview) I know I need to keep my focus on myself and I try to do that most times, but last night was a very stressful night. My AH went on a binge and did not come home. I have read my ODAT, prayed to HP and cried. Nothing is relieving my FEAR and pain. I have been calling him repeatedly since early this morning. No...	Hullibee	43	1589	Sep 8, 2014 by grateful2be
	Grapes (Preview) So, this morning I'm standing at the sink doing dishes and watching the birds enjoy their morning feast of grapes from my one huge Sigmund the Sea Monster vine and thinking - I like grapes, they're good grapes, but I don't eat many, they have seeds, but that isn't why I don't eat them, I just don't eat more...	likemyheart	7	439	Sep 8, 2014 by milkwood
	surprised @ myself (Preview) Hi -My sponsor is away for a week and for the first time, in over a year of working together, I miss the daily contact, and it's only the first day! I feel a loss and I know when she gets back, we will continue as usual. During the past 10 yrs or so, I have rejected new people who wished to be friends with me. I...	Lyne	3	347	Sep 8, 2014 by singingnick377
	Out of town (Preview) Son invited me to come up and spend the night with him and cook out,enjoying it seems though like my greiveing is harder today I've been trying to keep him off my mind by washing my car,visiting getting out of town and of course come ing here to share I'm been catching myself blinking back my tears,I'm sai...	lookingup	9	520	Sep 7, 2014 by Jerry F
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.