Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Debb · Debb

I had an epiphany and wanted to share, because when you have suffered for a long period of time and have emerged a better person, the need to share becomes very important and the part of the last step in the Al-Anon protocol. I am not a very verbose person so you may find this short and sweet, but very to the...

Beatrice · Beatrice

I'm doing good. Sorry I have been remiss . I've been attending school to get my certification to be an Alcohol and Drug counselor. That's where I have been. Loving it... We are all counselor's here on this board with much experience and knowledge. Hope this finds you all doing well and living it every da...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I know I am not supposed to be trying to fix my Alcoholic, nor do I think I am in any way responsible for my A's choices. But if I feel annoyed at their repetitious blaming, negativity, and bad decisions.....does that mean I have not let go? Does anyone ever get to the point where the A' blaming, negati...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

just came from a meeting and was listening to the opening read: changed attitudes can aid recovery .. I began to think about power .. there's never been a time in my life when I was powerless . either I had the power to crush me or effect another in a negative way or the balance was that once I got in recovery,...

Jme · Jme

My husband has 18 months sobriety and for the first time in an 8 year struggle is active in AA, has a sponsor, is working the steps and is make amends. This has been the best 18 months of our marriage and I am finally starting to trust him again and he has repaired so much damage done over the years. For the l...

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

I had a lovely conversation last night with a lovely man and I actually think I was being hit on .. lol. Seriously speaking not something I'm usually aware of if and when it does happen. At least he's not married .. lol . well I haven't gotten that full story yet. I know he's in transition. The statemen...

LinSC · LinSC

I just want to say there are some good people on this board, people who are trying there best to recover in Al-Anon. And being careful not to hurt others in the process, people who think first before reacting to keep the peace. Gentle lovers as Jerry might agree. All in all making the earth where ever you a...

hotrod · hotrod

Daylight savings time, went into effect last night here in New York City. It is difficult to get used to, but I love the increased daylight in the mornings and evening. The C2 C reading for today is a great reminder of an important reason for attending meetings or even coming here to MIP. to post or s...

mjferg · mjferg

I received some bad news,I will be losing half of my income soon!I don't know how I am going to make it.I am going to have to move and I don't know if I am emotionally ready for the stress.I am really worried about keeping up with school during the process of moving.I am so tired it seems like I constantly str...

Truth · Truth

Today I have to surrender and let go ... It kind of sucks when your HP teaches you things and then you can see what is going on and want to force the lesson on others. All in due time or maybe never, my part is just to say no.

missmeliss · missmeliss

When last I posted here, A had been staying over and making himself indispensable. I mean he was, for a couple of weeks, really, really nice. Nicer and more helpful to me than he has been. quite literally, EVER. And I was thinking well, hey, maybe? Of course it deteriorated, he started trying to enforce...

a4l · a4l

well I'm back and hopefully still welcome. I was aqua mom: I took a break for reasons all my own. I return to think on making amends. Many thoughts. My f2f group is a true balm, yet I found a connection here via writing and reading that I really connect with. And I miss everyone, Hotrod,my hero, Jerry,who s...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is about beauty and how living with alcoholism can mean we have a negative self defeating attitude and dont see the beauty in ourselves. It talks about how changing our negative attitude into a positive makes us more beautiful human beings. Living with love and gratitude brings out ou...

YARNCRAZY · YARNCRAZY

IM WORKING HARD AT ALANON,FACE TO FACE MEETING,READING,WORKING ON THE PATHS BOOK,GO ON OUR GROUP OFTEN. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT EVEN WITH THE BEHAVIOR AH SHOWED, WE CAN WORK IT OUT. HE IS IN REHAB NOW MY SPONSER IS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC AND HER HUSBAND IS A RECOVERING LCOHOLIC AND HER SON IS A RECOVE...

Jen61 · Jen61

I have had the hardest time with detaching. I would have these conversations in my mind every day, being irritable - all with a pit in my stomach. About a month or so ago my husband went to visit his brothers and I opted to stay home. I said a lot of prayers and then felt that warm feeling inside that he und...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

In the 4.5 years I have been with my AH I have never seen him take a drink. Not. Once. And we are talking an alcoholic who drinks listerine and rubbing alcohol when hes desperate. He's hardcore. This means I have chronic anxiety about whether or not he's drunk. A month ago, he crashed our car and blew a...

Wisdom67 · Wisdom67

Hello everyone I hope you all are well and working on getting better. I'm on and off again this emotional ride still even though the alcholic is not currently in my life but the remains of the disease still lives on in me and in my house. My health is not well I been in the hospital off and on due to my stress le...

el-cee · el-cee

This has been day 5 of not having a voice. Ive got laryngitis, cant make a sound. I usually dont shut up so this is a weird experiemce. Its like my higher power has pulled my brakes and said stop. The chattering inside my head is never ending thougn. So, no work, no phonecalls, nothing. Feeling so sorry for...

Truth · Truth

Well after repeating to myself ... Over and over again ... "I am capable of making healthy decisions". I am starting to feel like my old self. My old self was a person who had boundaries, liked making healthy choices, and was not fearful of others responses to my choices. I am also learning...

hotrod · hotrod

I can so identify with today's reading in the Courage to Change. It speaks about expecting others to know what we need and want, without having to ask for it. It points out that no one is a mind reader and no one can tell what is in my mind, heart and soul unless I reveal it. Before program I always felt as if my...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Hi Everyone, I'm Jenny and I'm new here - but have already felt so inspired and supported by your stories. Thank you. I've been at this recovery thing awhile. I'm married to an addict who has had a recent relapse after several years of being clean...however, I see now that he's what you might call a dry...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

Hello all = I always feel better when I get ES&H from you guys. I have been struggling all week, when I start the stinking thinking, I say the serenity prayer, go to a meeting and think of slogans. One that is coming to mind is "It's non of my business what others think of me" Friday night at a...

marsaray · marsaray

Six years ago I met a girl and fell in love with her, she was on many prescription pills but I didn't think it was a big deal. We lived together for 3 years and at the end she turned into a full on alcoholic/drug abuser. I left her at the end because she refused to get help and she blamed me for help addiction. We...

losingit · losingit

Thanks everyone for alanon -- Edited by losingit on Friday 6th of March 2015 10:18:57 AM

hotrod · hotrod

The ODAT today suggests that just because we practice Al-Anon,it does not mean that life will always be completely joyful and happy. It points out that when we are strengthened by the Al-Anon philosophy, we find ourselves able to look at things in their proper perspective and that by starting...

Hopefull15 · Hopefull15

My husband who is active keeps harrasing me about my 'progress' He knows that I go to 'meetings' to help me 'be a better person and to help me deal with some childhood dysfunction that I grew up in but thats all Ive told him. Now he keeps asking me 'so what have u learned' and 'what exactly are the things ur tr...

TryingToMoveOn · TryingToMoveOn

My husband is an addict. To my knowledge, he has not been using for some time now. But things are just awful. His behavior is erratic and I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop and then his incredible anger will come crashing down. He refuses or 'forgets' to...

Tash2 · Tash2

Hi all not posted for a while. Been looking after myself & working my program. I've learned loads from alannon & on here & can't believe how much better I am! anyway, after 2 years of watching My AH suffer with the consequences of his drinking, hes finally made that step & gone to AA. Iv...

el-cee · el-cee

I think i may owe some mip folks an apology. I have come to realise that i dont always give esh away freely. It often comes with expectations that are unrealistic on my part, like, i know best kind of esh, so you better listen to me. Sometimes the suggestions i give have an underlying demand attached. I sti...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

Hi Everyone, I have to admit that I have been anonymously reading your conversations for a few months now and it has helped me feel more and more comfortable about jumping into this recovery program. I have read 'how al-anon works', Getting them Sober, and a few other books you all have recommended a...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

Hi Gang, Hope you all had a great weekend. Saturday something happened and I think I may be getting this whole detachment thing. We were going to play some board games and AH got frustrated with something I don't even remember what, and he yelled and called me his favorite B word. I just put my stuff...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The reason(I think) that I don't post much anymore is because I am no longer in a crisis. That should never be an excuse for me. I know that I have a lot to be of assistance to others. It isn't about me. I just hope in the future I am not apprehensive about being there for anyone. I used to feel like I had so much t...

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

Hi everyone, My name is Alycia and I have been lurking on these boards for a couple of weeks now. I plan to attend one of the online meetings soon! 1 month ago my AH decided to drive our car while intoxicated. He is very sneaky with his drinking and me nor our friends had any idea he was drunk. He hit a parke...

hotrod · hotrod

The C2C for today speaks about working the steps and being afraid of having our defects removed. Many of us feel that will be an empty shell if these defects are lifted. The reading points out that in no way nor in any step do we ever ask HP to add anything to us. We only request that our negative attitude...

Helpangel · Helpangel

My ah is 95 days sober and I realized that I know why I am having such a hard time. Mine was never physically abusive but definetly emotionally abusive and very manipulating. He is trying and I am trying since last weeks therapy appointment he hasn't been as negative and grumpy which has helped me so much...

chemistryiscool · chemistryiscool

Hi everyone, This is my first posting, after reading so many of the posts here over the last few months. I'm sure what I'm about to write will mirror so many of your experiences, but I feel the need to get it out there. I've been in an on/off relationship with my HFA boyfriend for 8 years. I'm not even sur...

Debb · Debb

Hi Everyone!! Was just thinking about the 10th and 11th steps ... seems I get stuck on these two every so often:Tenth Step Prayer I pray I am continue:To grow in understanding and effectiveness; To take daily spot-check inventories of myself;To correct mistakes when I make them;To take respon...

Truth · Truth

So today I need to work on my self-righteousness!!!!! I honestly can say that I don't have this trait often, however this last bout of e-mails has put me into this state and I am having a hard time letting go. My ex-A has this down to a tee...he will push my buttons until I cannot take it anymore and then I fin...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi Everyone, Yesterday, my wife and I went to town to run some errands and take care of a few things. The walk from where we had to park the car to our first stop was long and COLD. And, we were about an hour early, so we decided to go into a restaurant to warm up and use the restroom. I went to the restroom first...

Timjack · Timjack

Hi. I'm writing this home alone. My husband who was almost 2 years sober, drank today because our 28 year old son who has a heroin addiction could not be found. I truly, truly don't know what to do. My husband wanted to throw my son out, and I just cant do that! I'm his mom! Could someone give me some dir...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning Everyone-- There are three specific ideas that resonate with me from today's reading: One--RESPONSIBILITY. Some of it was growing up in such a big family, some of it was growing up with an alcoholic father and parents who divorced bitterly; I had a lot of responsibility as a young child...

Truth · Truth

Well I went through the emotions .... Got to my part and feel better!!! I am more aware of my limits and understand the importance of not reacting (if I react now it is a choice not a mistake because it is in my awareness). I am capable of making healthy decisions!!!!

mjferg · mjferg

I was reading about making decisions and one suggestion was to picture yourself as a wise older woman,what would she say to you?What would she want your life to be like?It is an interesting concept.I am pretty sure it would be pretty good advice.

SerenityRUS · SerenityRUS

The kids finally saw their dad today after not seeing him since 12/24. Saying it was awkward is probably putting it mildly. The kids picked a place that the staff is very familiar with me and my son so they watched out for them which I was extremely grateful for, and the kids had a good time. Their dad an...

Agape · Agape

Hi, I'm looking for some online support though, honestly, I'd like to be on (almost) any website other than this one...I'd much prefer to just stick my head in the sand and pretend this isn't happening. My husband's been in recovery for nine years and I went to family counselling then (a lot like Al Anon...

DavidG · DavidG

...I'll mind my own business and you can mind yours...? Sometimes group business is everyone's business. That is, if we are a group member.... I think that is the crux of the traditions... ...in our lives our power boundaries are all messed up. As a kid i took quite a lot adult responsibility, and the a...

Fairlee · Fairlee

hi! It's snowy and freezing cold down here in Texas! I do not do well in this weather :( I wonder if anyone else struggles with "am I making more out of this problem than there really is?" I sat, listening to a conversation my AH was having with his mother, talking about how "everyone&qu...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59735693/alanon-tradition3/

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the Courage to Change is a great reminder. It points out how reading the Al-Anon conference approved literature can aid our recovery. It indicates that by reading this literature, in between meetings, and when we feel lonely angry, or confused we are learning to replace long-...

lablover13 · lablover13

i can't get out of my own way. my AH & I just started to "date" after 6 months of separation. all was going pretty well until last night. we were out to dinner at a restaurant that we used go to a lot when he was drinking. i didn't know it was hard being there for him and he didn't tell me. when i o...

mjferg · mjferg

I was driving to class a couple of days ago and I thought I saw my ex! My heart started pounding and I started shaking.I thought I was going to have to pull over or return home.He was in the passenger side of the car and a woman was driving,We came up to the traffic light and I saw it wasn't him and I breathed a si...

Auntrosie · Auntrosie

...an inanimate object. Today I realized that I have been asking my AH for the same tiny "courtesies" for 7 years. With no positive results. Shame on me! Seven years ago he was drinking. I cut him some slack. I realized that he was not capable of doing anything I asked or needed of him. Today h...

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

It's so hard to be so in love with someone who is toxic and an addict. Are those even two separate things? The other morning I was reading my c2c and I found August 19th: "There was a piece of reality that I never wanted to see: I loved someone who couldn't be trusted." These words whispered...

Truth · Truth

I want to thank Hotrod and John for pointing out in another post that we are capable of making healthy decisions!!!! I needed to hear that message

I am extremely grateful for your message ... It truly humbled me

el-cee · el-cee

I think of this particular alanon forum as like the front line of this disease like an emergency room of a hospital. People come here panicked, in real fear and usually in a crisis. There are those of us who stay here and try to help in the best way we can, bearing in mind we are all affected and are all in reco...

GreenerGal · GreenerGal

Here's a question I haven't seen posed yet...is it enabling if you're helping your qualifier get to their AA meetings? Not offering to help, but if they are the one to ask? He's now out of the house but would like to come shower before going to his AA meeting in the morning. He's staying in his shop right...

el-cee · el-cee

Todays reading is a good one. The idea of humility can be confusing, some people think of it as being submissive and a 'slave to my situation and accept everything that comes, however humiliating.' It talks about humility as 'not being meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life.' Its about sur...

Helpangel · Helpangel

my ah is 90 days sober. I have been posting how difficult he has been and went to our therapist to let her know how bad it has been. She said it sounds like his meds are not working and asked me when was he goin to see the psychologist, I said I didn't know (found out from ah April 2nd). I told her things had to cha...

glad · glad

I recently overheard a story (gossip) about an alcoholic stealing something of about 10 thousand dollars value, from someone. It might be true, but it's already 2'nd hand by the time it gets to me and the person who told this story tells things like that all the time! anyway my point is prior to alano...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

Sadly, I've become accustomed to my AH sneaking beers at inappropriate times. When I find the poorly hidden cans, I usually just throw them away and don't say anything since it will inevitably lead to an argument. Sometimes I will ask him not to put the cans in certain places, like behind the bed or i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Sharing My Epiphany (Preview) I had an epiphany and wanted to share, because when you have suffered for a long period of time and have emerged a better person, the need to share becomes very important and the part of the last step in the Al-Anon protocol. I am not a very verbose person so you may find this short and sweet, but very to the...	Debb	7	546	Mar 9, 2015 by Debb
	Hi All!! (Preview) I'm doing good. Sorry I have been remiss . I've been attending school to get my certification to be an Alcohol and Drug counselor. That's where I have been. Loving it... We are all counselor's here on this board with much experience and knowledge. Hope this finds you all doing well and living it every da...	Beatrice	5	499	Mar 9, 2015 by Beatrice
	Is feeling fed up with an Alcoholic's behavior a sign of progress or my inability to "let go"? (Preview) I know I am not supposed to be trying to fix my Alcoholic, nor do I think I am in any way responsible for my A's choices. But if I feel annoyed at their repetitious blaming, negativity, and bad decisions.....does that mean I have not let go? Does anyone ever get to the point where the A' blaming, negati...	lgnutah	12	659	Mar 9, 2015 by SunshineGirl
	changed attitudes .. power & Power .. just sharing & reflecting with coffee . (Preview) just came from a meeting and was listening to the opening read: changed attitudes can aid recovery .. I began to think about power .. there's never been a time in my life when I was powerless . either I had the power to crush me or effect another in a negative way or the balance was that once I got in recovery,...	MeTwo2	3	607	Mar 8, 2015 by hotrod
	18 months sober- now drinking O'douls (Preview) My husband has 18 months sobriety and for the first time in an 8 year struggle is active in AA, has a sponsor, is working the steps and is make amends. This has been the best 18 months of our marriage and I am finally starting to trust him again and he has repaired so much damage done over the years. For the l...	Jme	22	13788	Mar 8, 2015 by Mattie
	Calculated loss (Preview) I had a lovely conversation last night with a lovely man and I actually think I was being hit on .. lol. Seriously speaking not something I'm usually aware of if and when it does happen. At least he's not married .. lol . well I haven't gotten that full story yet. I know he's in transition. The statemen...	SerenityRUS	23	682	Mar 8, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Great People (Preview) I just want to say there are some good people on this board, people who are trying there best to recover in Al-Anon. And being careful not to hurt others in the process, people who think first before reacting to keep the peace. Gentle lovers as Jerry might agree. All in all making the earth where ever you a...	LinSC	10	477	Mar 8, 2015 by el-cee
	C2C and ODAT 3- 8 (Preview) Daylight savings time, went into effect last night here in New York City. It is difficult to get used to, but I love the increased daylight in the mornings and evening. The C2 C reading for today is a great reminder of an important reason for attending meetings or even coming here to MIP. to post or s...	hotrod	1	215	Mar 8, 2015 by KennyFenderjazz
	uphill battle (Preview) I received some bad news,I will be losing half of my income soon!I don't know how I am going to make it.I am going to have to move and I don't know if I am emotionally ready for the stress.I am really worried about keeping up with school during the process of moving.I am so tired it seems like I constantly str...	mjferg	4	373	Mar 8, 2015 by mjferg
	Surrender (Preview) Today I have to surrender and let go ... It kind of sucks when your HP teaches you things and then you can see what is going on and want to force the lesson on others. All in due time or maybe never, my part is just to say no.	Truth	5	519	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	Talk about wow! (Preview) When last I posted here, A had been staying over and making himself indispensable. I mean he was, for a couple of weeks, really, really nice. Nicer and more helpful to me than he has been. quite literally, EVER. And I was thinking well, hey, maybe? Of course it deteriorated, he started trying to enforce...	missmeliss	19	829	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	time to think (Preview) well I'm back and hopefully still welcome. I was aqua mom: I took a break for reasons all my own. I return to think on making amends. Many thoughts. My f2f group is a true balm, yet I found a connection here via writing and reading that I really connect with. And I miss everyone, Hotrod,my hero, Jerry,who s...	a4l	8	483	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	c2c 7th march-beauty (Preview) Todays reading is about beauty and how living with alcoholism can mean we have a negative self defeating attitude and dont see the beauty in ourselves. It talks about how changing our negative attitude into a positive makes us more beautiful human beings. Living with love and gratitude brings out ou...	el-cee	4	334	Mar 7, 2015 by Debb
	DONT ANY OF YOU STAY WITH YOUR LONG TIME HUSBAND? (Preview) IM WORKING HARD AT ALANON,FACE TO FACE MEETING,READING,WORKING ON THE PATHS BOOK,GO ON OUR GROUP OFTEN. I WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT EVEN WITH THE BEHAVIOR AH SHOWED, WE CAN WORK IT OUT. HE IS IN REHAB NOW MY SPONSER IS A RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC AND HER HUSBAND IS A RECOVERING LCOHOLIC AND HER SON IS A RECOVE...	YARNCRAZY	29	1099	Mar 7, 2015 by Beatrice
	Detaching (Preview) I have had the hardest time with detaching. I would have these conversations in my mind every day, being irritable - all with a pit in my stomach. About a month or so ago my husband went to visit his brothers and I opted to stay home. I said a lot of prayers and then felt that warm feeling inside that he und...	Jen61	4	482	Mar 7, 2015 by hotrod
	Tonight I am angry and struggling to detach. (Preview) In the 4.5 years I have been with my AH I have never seen him take a drink. Not. Once. And we are talking an alcoholic who drinks listerine and rubbing alcohol when hes desperate. He's hardcore. This means I have chronic anxiety about whether or not he's drunk. A month ago, he crashed our car and blew a...	Bloodshotbetty	5	665	Mar 7, 2015 by Mattie
	Hardship and health and support (Preview) Hello everyone I hope you all are well and working on getting better. I'm on and off again this emotional ride still even though the alcholic is not currently in my life but the remains of the disease still lives on in me and in my house. My health is not well I been in the hospital off and on due to my stress le...	Wisdom67	7	747	Mar 6, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	higher power telling me to be quiet?? (Preview) This has been day 5 of not having a voice. Ive got laryngitis, cant make a sound. I usually dont shut up so this is a weird experiemce. Its like my higher power has pulled my brakes and said stop. The chattering inside my head is never ending thougn. So, no work, no phonecalls, nothing. Feeling so sorry for...	el-cee	6	594	Mar 6, 2015 by hotrod
	Learning my Triggers and my Choices (Preview) Well after repeating to myself ... Over and over again ... "I am capable of making healthy decisions". I am starting to feel like my old self. My old self was a person who had boundaries, liked making healthy choices, and was not fearful of others responses to my choices. I am also learning...	Truth	5	468	Mar 6, 2015 by Truth
	C2C 3 6 (Preview) I can so identify with today's reading in the Courage to Change. It speaks about expecting others to know what we need and want, without having to ask for it. It points out that no one is a mind reader and no one can tell what is in my mind, heart and soul unless I reveal it. Before program I always felt as if my...	hotrod	3	341	Mar 6, 2015 by MeTwo2
	Help with an A who "J.A.D.E"s (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm Jenny and I'm new here - but have already felt so inspired and supported by your stories. Thank you. I've been at this recovery thing awhile. I'm married to an addict who has had a recent relapse after several years of being clean...however, I see now that he's what you might call a dry...	LedfootJenny	25	1565	Mar 6, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Working on detachment (Preview) Hello all = I always feel better when I get ES&H from you guys. I have been struggling all week, when I start the stinking thinking, I say the serenity prayer, go to a meeting and think of slogans. One that is coming to mind is "It's non of my business what others think of me" Friday night at a...	mercedes1959	19	725	Mar 6, 2015 by Truth
	Really need help and advice (Preview) Six years ago I met a girl and fell in love with her, she was on many prescription pills but I didn't think it was a big deal. We lived together for 3 years and at the end she turned into a full on alcoholic/drug abuser. I left her at the end because she refused to get help and she blamed me for help addiction. We...	marsaray	7	605	Mar 6, 2015 by Truth
	Thanks (Preview) Thanks everyone for alanon -- Edited by losingit on Friday 6th of March 2015 10:18:57 AM	losingit	4	953	Mar 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	ODAT reading March 4th (Preview) The ODAT today suggests that just because we practice Al-Anon,it does not mean that life will always be completely joyful and happy. It points out that when we are strengthened by the Al-Anon philosophy, we find ourselves able to look at things in their proper perspective and that by starting...	hotrod	3	288	Mar 6, 2015 by hotrod
	My alcoholic keeps trying to take my inventory... (Preview) My husband who is active keeps harrasing me about my 'progress' He knows that I go to 'meetings' to help me 'be a better person and to help me deal with some childhood dysfunction that I grew up in but thats all Ive told him. Now he keeps asking me 'so what have u learned' and 'what exactly are the things ur tr...	Hopefull15	15	846	Mar 6, 2015 by Mirandac
	In a bad place, trying to get to a better one (Preview) My husband is an addict. To my knowledge, he has not been using for some time now. But things are just awful. His behavior is erratic and I feel like I am constantly walking on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop and then his incredible anger will come crashing down. He refuses or 'forgets' to...	TryingToMoveOn	10	419	Mar 6, 2015 by hotrod
	Gone to AA so why do I feel so sad? (Preview) Hi all not posted for a while. Been looking after myself & working my program. I've learned loads from alannon & on here & can't believe how much better I am! anyway, after 2 years of watching My AH suffer with the consequences of his drinking, hes finally made that step & gone to AA. Iv...	Tash2	10	620	Mar 6, 2015 by Jerry F
	an amends (Preview) I think i may owe some mip folks an apology. I have come to realise that i dont always give esh away freely. It often comes with expectations that are unrealistic on my part, like, i know best kind of esh, so you better listen to me. Sometimes the suggestions i give have an underlying demand attached. I sti...	el-cee	14	555	Mar 5, 2015 by LinSC
	I am new here and would like to thank you all. (Preview) Hi Everyone, I have to admit that I have been anonymously reading your conversations for a few months now and it has helped me feel more and more comfortable about jumping into this recovery program. I have read 'how al-anon works', Getting them Sober, and a few other books you all have recommended a...	CoopsMom	6	598	Mar 5, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Would you define this as Loving Detachment... or what? (Preview) Hi Gang, Hope you all had a great weekend. Saturday something happened and I think I may be getting this whole detachment thing. We were going to play some board games and AH got frustrated with something I don't even remember what, and he yelled and called me his favorite B word. I just put my stuff...	ladybugnessa	12	709	Mar 5, 2015 by Hopefull15
	don't post much anymore (Preview) The reason(I think) that I don't post much anymore is because I am no longer in a crisis. That should never be an excuse for me. I know that I have a lot to be of assistance to others. It isn't about me. I just hope in the future I am not apprehensive about being there for anyone. I used to feel like I had so much t...	Hoot Nanny	1	407	Mar 5, 2015 by hotrod
	New here! (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is Alycia and I have been lurking on these boards for a couple of weeks now. I plan to attend one of the online meetings soon! 1 month ago my AH decided to drive our car while intoxicated. He is very sneaky with his drinking and me nor our friends had any idea he was drunk. He hit a parke...	Bloodshotbetty	7	438	Mar 5, 2015 by Bloodshotbetty
	C2C reading for 2-3 (Preview) The C2C for today speaks about working the steps and being afraid of having our defects removed. Many of us feel that will be an empty shell if these defects are lifted. The reading points out that in no way nor in any step do we ever ask HP to add anything to us. We only request that our negative attitude...	hotrod	4	374	Mar 5, 2015 by karma13
	Why it is hard to stay (Preview) My ah is 95 days sober and I realized that I know why I am having such a hard time. Mine was never physically abusive but definetly emotionally abusive and very manipulating. He is trying and I am trying since last weeks therapy appointment he hasn't been as negative and grumpy which has helped me so much...	Helpangel	4	534	Mar 5, 2015 by maryjane
	HFA Boyfriend (Preview) Hi everyone, This is my first posting, after reading so many of the posts here over the last few months. I'm sure what I'm about to write will mirror so many of your experiences, but I feel the need to get it out there. I've been in an on/off relationship with my HFA boyfriend for 8 years. I'm not even sur...	chemistryiscool	8	557	Mar 5, 2015 by glad
	10th & 11th Steps (Preview) Hi Everyone!! Was just thinking about the 10th and 11th steps ... seems I get stuck on these two every so often:Tenth Step Prayer I pray I am continue:To grow in understanding and effectiveness; To take daily spot-check inventories of myself;To correct mistakes when I make them;To take respon...	Debb	5	418	Mar 5, 2015 by el-cee
	How to get rid of self-righteousness? ( 1 2 ) (Preview) So today I need to work on my self-righteousness!!!!! I honestly can say that I don't have this trait often, however this last bout of e-mails has put me into this state and I am having a hard time letting go. My ex-A has this down to a tee...he will push my buttons until I cannot take it anymore and then I fin...	Truth	40	1567	Mar 4, 2015 by Truth
	Dealing with a "relapse" (Preview) Hi Everyone, Yesterday, my wife and I went to town to run some errands and take care of a few things. The walk from where we had to park the car to our first stop was long and COLD. And, we were about an hour early, so we decided to go into a restaurant to warm up and use the restroom. I went to the restroom first...	Skorpi	11	885	Mar 4, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	I'm not new to this, but I'm new to this (Preview) Hi. I'm writing this home alone. My husband who was almost 2 years sober, drank today because our 28 year old son who has a heroin addiction could not be found. I truly, truly don't know what to do. My husband wanted to throw my son out, and I just cant do that! I'm his mom! Could someone give me some dir...	Timjack	7	808	Mar 4, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Hope For Today Mar 3 (Preview) Good Morning Everyone-- There are three specific ideas that resonate with me from today's reading: One--RESPONSIBILITY. Some of it was growing up in such a big family, some of it was growing up with an alcoholic father and parents who divorced bitterly; I had a lot of responsibility as a young child...	yanksfan51	8	564	Mar 4, 2015 by yanksfan51
	Feel Better Today (Preview) Well I went through the emotions .... Got to my part and feel better!!! I am more aware of my limits and understand the importance of not reacting (if I react now it is a choice not a mistake because it is in my awareness). I am capable of making healthy decisions!!!!	Truth	4	293	Mar 4, 2015 by Jerry F
	decision making (Preview) I was reading about making decisions and one suggestion was to picture yourself as a wise older woman,what would she say to you?What would she want your life to be like?It is an interesting concept.I am pretty sure it would be pretty good advice.	mjferg	1	353	Mar 3, 2015 by milkwood
	Weird Visitation (Preview) The kids finally saw their dad today after not seeing him since 12/24. Saying it was awkward is probably putting it mildly. The kids picked a place that the staff is very familiar with me and my son so they watched out for them which I was extremely grateful for, and the kids had a good time. Their dad an...	SerenityRUS	4	527	Mar 3, 2015 by SerenityRUS
	Wish I wasn't here...again... (Preview) Hi, I'm looking for some online support though, honestly, I'd like to be on (almost) any website other than this one...I'd much prefer to just stick my head in the sand and pretend this isn't happening. My husband's been in recovery for nine years and I went to family counselling then (a lot like Al Anon...	Agape	3	483	Mar 3, 2015 by Jerry F
	Live, and let live... (Preview) ...I'll mind my own business and you can mind yours...? Sometimes group business is everyone's business. That is, if we are a group member.... I think that is the crux of the traditions... ...in our lives our power boundaries are all messed up. As a kid i took quite a lot adult responsibility, and the a...	DavidG	2	831	Mar 2, 2015 by Jerry F
	Do you second guess yourself? (Preview) hi! It's snowy and freezing cold down here in Texas! I do not do well in this weather :( I wonder if anyone else struggles with "am I making more out of this problem than there really is?" I sat, listening to a conversation my AH was having with his mother, talking about how "everyone&qu...	Fairlee	12	716	Mar 2, 2015 by Jerry F
	Tradition 3 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59735693/alanon-tradition3/	hotrod	0	544	Mar 2, 2015 by hotrod
	March 2 readings ODAT and C2C (Preview) Today's reading in the Courage to Change is a great reminder. It points out how reading the Al-Anon conference approved literature can aid our recovery. It indicates that by reading this literature, in between meetings, and when we feel lonely angry, or confused we are learning to replace long-...	hotrod	4	3015	Mar 2, 2015 by hotrod
	so depressed with the UPS & DOWNS of my dysfunctional marriage!! (Preview) i can't get out of my own way. my AH & I just started to "date" after 6 months of separation. all was going pretty well until last night. we were out to dinner at a restaurant that we used go to a lot when he was drinking. i didn't know it was hard being there for him and he didn't tell me. when i o...	lablover13	6	642	Mar 2, 2015 by lablover13
	emotional reactions! (Preview) I was driving to class a couple of days ago and I thought I saw my ex! My heart started pounding and I started shaking.I thought I was going to have to pull over or return home.He was in the passenger side of the car and a woman was driving,We came up to the traffic light and I saw it wasn't him and I breathed a si...	mjferg	10	643	Mar 2, 2015 by Hullibee
	I'm married to a brick wall... (Preview) ...an inanimate object. Today I realized that I have been asking my AH for the same tiny "courtesies" for 7 years. With no positive results. Shame on me! Seven years ago he was drinking. I cut him some slack. I realized that he was not capable of doing anything I asked or needed of him. Today h...	Auntrosie	5	723	Mar 2, 2015 by shelbybaby
	I did it! I asked him to move out! (Preview) It's so hard to be so in love with someone who is toxic and an addict. Are those even two separate things? The other morning I was reading my c2c and I found August 19th: "There was a piece of reality that I never wanted to see: I loved someone who couldn't be trusted." These words whispered...	GreenerGal	7	760	Mar 2, 2015 by shelbybaby
	Capable of Making Healthy Decisions (Preview) I want to thank Hotrod and John for pointing out in another post that we are capable of making healthy decisions!!!! I needed to hear that message I am extremely grateful for your message ... It truly humbled me	Truth	2	303	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	the emergency department (Preview) I think of this particular alanon forum as like the front line of this disease like an emergency room of a hospital. People come here panicked, in real fear and usually in a crisis. There are those of us who stay here and try to help in the best way we can, bearing in mind we are all affected and are all in reco...	el-cee	13	625	Mar 1, 2015 by Jerry F
	Is it enabling? (Preview) Here's a question I haven't seen posed yet...is it enabling if you're helping your qualifier get to their AA meetings? Not offering to help, but if they are the one to ask? He's now out of the house but would like to come shower before going to his AA meeting in the morning. He's staying in his shop right...	GreenerGal	10	557	Mar 1, 2015 by shelbybaby
	March 1st ODAT - Humility (Preview) Todays reading is a good one. The idea of humility can be confusing, some people think of it as being submissive and a 'slave to my situation and accept everything that comes, however humiliating.' It talks about humility as 'not being meek surrender to an ugly, destructive way of life.' Its about sur...	el-cee	3	783	Mar 1, 2015 by karma13
	Therapist and 10 things I want in a relationship (Preview) my ah is 90 days sober. I have been posting how difficult he has been and went to our therapist to let her know how bad it has been. She said it sounds like his meds are not working and asked me when was he goin to see the psychologist, I said I didn't know (found out from ah April 2nd). I told her things had to cha...	Helpangel	13	508	Mar 1, 2015 by Mirandac
	It's not on my side of the street! (Preview) I recently overheard a story (gossip) about an alcoholic stealing something of about 10 thousand dollars value, from someone. It might be true, but it's already 2'nd hand by the time it gets to me and the person who told this story tells things like that all the time! anyway my point is prior to alano...	glad	1	416	Mar 1, 2015 by hotrod
	Alcoholic behavior or bad personality trait? (Preview) Sadly, I've become accustomed to my AH sneaking beers at inappropriate times. When I find the poorly hidden cans, I usually just throw them away and don't say anything since it will inevitably lead to an argument. Sometimes I will ask him not to put the cans in certain places, like behind the bed or i...	Smiley99	22	4217	Mar 1, 2015 by Robert Breen
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.