Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

drywit44 · drywit44

Someone told me, I think that it was on this board but I can't be sure, that because of my wife's being a long-timer in Al an, that I am eligible, even though my family lacks any addict or abuser. I've had my own therapy for 100 years so am skeptical of my need or potential benefit from going a 12 step route. ...

pamala · pamala

I am rather new to all of this, so I was wondering if someone can explain the term "dry drunk" to me. I am hoping my 26 year old daughter stops drinking and gets her life on track, but will it just be her not drinking but still having the same issues with her? What will she have to lie about if she'...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change today speaks about progress not perfection. It reinforces the idea that Al-Anon works slowly and surely as we use the tools each day one day at a time. The reading points out that many times we have unhealthy attitudes as to how quickly we should grow and change, and become disappo...

Truth · Truth

I woke up this morning ... Read a bit sat in silence and realized I am happy where I am. I am single, a mom, love my son and my job

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

This is bold & proud! I am so grateful for everyone in my life who have been w/ me through the ups & downs. I hope that in the future there will be more ups than downs just so I can help another struggling Al anon member or anyone who has difficulties that can't deal w/them on their own. I am a prime exa...

hotrod · hotrod

Happy St. Patrick's Day to all

serenity47 · serenity47

I feel like I have I made some progress in the last few months regarding my 19 year old AD. I am practicing self care again (used to be really good at this prior to addictions entering my life). I have been reading a lot of the literature, trying to use the slogans that I find helpful and practicing detach...

CoopsMom · CoopsMom

I decided that this week I would take some steps to detach when AH calls me during the day to rant and rave about anything and everything. The way I have handled it in the past was to try to counsel him, try to help him strategize ways to deal with problems, or issues at work, I would try whatever I could to tr...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I have never called anyone from my f2f meetings. I have missed the one meeting I started at (where the woman I plan to ask to be one of my sponsors is at) for tw0 weeks due to being sick etc. I want to go tomorrow night but I will not have my car. My AH does not like the AA meeting that is held at the same tim...

LedfootJenny · LedfootJenny

Hi MIP! My AH's dad ( who is an active long time drinker) has been married for 30 years to a woman who is physically abusive. Friday night she pummeled him pretty good - apparently because he was drinking. His head is swollen and it looks like she was especially brutal. So clearly - these are two sick p...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I want to share how much peace the title of this post brings me now. every time my Idiot AH says something that I know is wrong (today it was that ZICAM makes my very bad cold worse) I say "thanks honey You may be right let me think about it" and I go on my way. all the while I'm thinking about...

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Morning MIP- This reading is about how our sense of responsibility can become inflated to the point that we are resentful for all that we do (even if we are the ones insisting on doing everything!). I mentioned in an earlier post that my first experience with this feeling was as a child--I am the younge...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

We had our first gaming convention this weekend. At a hotel, with a bar. Standard practice in the past was to bring his own scotch and get beer at the bar. He had not had any cravings till Friday night. Hubby had a craving for a drink after a stressful board game. I WAS not there. He does not have a s...

missmeliss · missmeliss

All has been right with my world today. I woke late (daughter is away this weekend). Did 2 assignments over coffee and then a bit of housework and then I remembered my self-care commitment so I got into the bath (believe it or not, I have been in this house for 6 weeks now yet this was STILL my FIRST BATH IN 5 Y...

Alma Daigle · Alma Daigle

There are only three people I have told about my husband's problem. I can barely admit it to myself most days. We"ll have a good stretch of time and I think, well maybe the worst is over, and then something happens and I feel upset again. Last night we were home watching TV and his eyes got red and I fel...

Flower49 · Flower49

Hi everyone, it's been sometime since I have been to the boards and I can definitely tell I have been missing you all! My Dad passed away last weekend and his funeral was Wednesday March 11, ironically that was his bday, so he got his wish that we had a party for him. I delivered his eulogy and was pleasantl...

el-cee · el-cee

Does being married or living with another person mean we have the right to insist they change, get sober, behave in a certain way? what if the mistake was ours in the first place? I mean we meet a person, build up our idea of who that person is, build our own expectations around how that person will behave,...

gar1967 · gar1967

I had trouble registering, so I decided to try again and repost my message. Thank you to all who responded to earlier message.I am new to this site and i have no idea where to start. I find it hard to open up to strangers about my toxic family issues. I just don't know where to begin.I too read the "Laun...

Chelseacat44 · Chelseacat44

Hey I'm kinda new here but I'm Chelsea and I'm 16. I don't get along with my mom at all now and moved in with my dad two years ago because of her extreme drinking problem. she has been drinking since before she had me but has gradually got worse, to the point where me and dad never tell her if I have a parents eve...

mjferg · mjferg

I realize my landlady has all the abusive characteristics of my ex,I am starting the process to have justice served.After class today I am making some phone calls.I have local numbers I am going to call to complain and see if I have a civil case for trespassing.I know it will be stressful and I am going to...

MarieMcD · MarieMcD

My husband just got out of the hospital 3 days ago for alcohol withdrawals. He was withdrawing from alcohol because he goes through detox at home. He was experiencing DTs for the first time in his life. It was scary and I almost had to commit him to psychiatric help. Anyway, we've been doing well for 3 day...

lockecole · lockecole

Hello, I'm not sure of where else to turn at this point. My brother-in-law's wife has been dealing with severe alcoholism for many years now. Things became quite bad almost five years ago. She suffered from withdrawal and was in a medically induced coma for almost a month and nearly died. Since then s...

hotrod · hotrod

I loved today's reading in the ODAT It points out that attending Al-Anon meetings is extremely important to growth in Al-Anon. It suggests that when we first begin attending meetings, we find a safe place to share and it feels good to do so. After a while, it is important to note that complaining abo...

missmeliss · missmeliss

My mother drove here yesterday...in my new car!! It's so much newer and shinier than I imagined, it has barely been used by the previous owner. I was almost in a bit of shock when I first laid eyes on it, I've never owned anything new and nice before really. Haha, yes, me who doesn't want or value posession...

mjferg · mjferg

Some of you know I have been having problems with my landlady,basically she is a slumlord and doesn't fix anything.She intimidates people with her anger and threatens you with eviction.The people who live here are afraid of her and they just keep quiet to have peace.I stood up to her about some things...

el-cee · el-cee

Its mothers day here and its a good time to reflect on what it means to be a mother and to have a mother in our lives. My own mother has been dead for over 10 years now and im a different person to the person she knew. I imagine our relationship would be a good one, i have accepted my mother and her flaws and the gi...

MarieMcD · MarieMcD

I love my husband with all my heart. When he is sober, he is the most loving, kind, sweet, compassionate person. We have been together for 4 years, and I knew he was an alcoholic after about the first 6 months. We lived together for the first few years prior to marriage, and it's rough to have the "par...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for today is extremely powerful. It points out that many of us have lost our faith and belief in prayer, and that sometimes we reach a point where we cry out in anguish, begging an unknown power to relieve us of our burden. The reading goes on to explain that we are imprisoned by our own...

gabigail · gabigail

I don't know a lot about how alcohol affects the health of the addict. I have been dealing with for a couple of months much more than my spouse's addiction. Lately, she hasn't been eating (at least not in front of me) and I know in spite of being sick (throwing up constantly, diarrhea, stomach cramps,...

Skorpi · Skorpi

So, I have been struggling with the line between enabling and controlling lately. A while back, someone asked me to think about the line between compassion and enabling, and I have been thinking on that ever since. On the surface, things sounds really clear. Not enabling is not condoning behavior,...

ladybugnessa · ladybugnessa

I came to Al-anon to figure out how to deal with my AH. Like all of us. I fought it. the first time I went to one meeting and I hated it that was a couple of years ago. Life might have been different if I had done it right then and stuck around and shopped for meetings... but I didn't. I went I listened an...

paango · paango

I am a newbie, and have been lurking in the background. Reading your posts throughout the day gets me by when I'm working and can't get to a meeting. I had a difficult time talking to him when I visited him in rehab. He didn't want to talk about the program or his progress - just that he was busy and he had to...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

well, i hve posted thoughts on this topic before but find i need to revisit it again , bc although im getting off the roller coaster from last week there are always more rides to come. . this week its sex. something i dont talk about well and according to my ah, im lousy at and completly uninterested in. (ok...

hotrod · hotrod

Today's reading in the C2C talks about Step 7 and focuses on the word HUMBLE. It reminds us that many times we view this word as a negative, tearful, embarrassing experience but that being humble can actually be accomplished with humor and joy. It builds on the reading this week that spoke about...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I know AlAnon is for people whose lives are affected by Alcoholism...but I think this means the Alcoholic is still alive. What organization (online or other) is there for those whose relative succumbed to the disease? Grief support groups generally seem to be geared toward a different kind of death...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Spent yesterday afternoon partly in the ER. I've been having head aches for just over 3 months. Yesterday was severe and the VA wasn't open just the Hospital ER. They did the needles and tests and then CRT or what ever. My headaches yesterday were off the scale and I couldn't wait for the VA on the 1...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59808974/tradition-4-alanon/

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

My husband finally admitted that he is an alcholic. This was a big step for him but it was a long time coming. Over this past weekend he drank so much vodka that he was out of control. I took the kids and left and then he admitted it to me that night. He surprised me yesterday and went to an AA meeting where h...

Irish7 · Irish7

I was listening to a speaker on a tape AA or Al Anon-- I cannot recall which) who said that every time she has trouble accepting something it is because she is longing for a choice that isn't available. This really resonated with me!

Jazzie18 · Jazzie18

I was so excited when he went to his second meeting last night. Not too excited when he came home asking to have a beer. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea and he went ahead and had a beer with dinner. It was so hard for me to not be super pissed at him. I told him that I was really proud of him for going...

Cooper · Cooper

I won't rehash all the issues I have had with my son the last few years but his drinking and drug use is well known in our family and his moms family yet people still want to feed the animal. I just saw a FaceBook posting from my daughter, she and my son were at their moms house for a dinner. In the picture...

hotrod · hotrod

The Courage to Change reading for today presents the idea of detachment in a very simple format. It states that Detachment with love simply means that I stop depending on what others do, say or feel to determine my own well-being, or make my decisions.When faced with others destructive attitudes an...

Mirandac · Mirandac

i have been feeling pushed and i do not like the feeling. I have a tendency to push back. My ah is pushing my buttons for pre settlement money, selling the house immediately and he wants to move on. Ah is unwilling to split assets or pay spousal support. We have a high monthly mtg and payments. They are...

hotrod · hotrod

The reading in the C2C today is very applicable. It talks about MMOB and uses humor to address this difficult defect that I had so much trouble shedding.The reading suggests that laughter and humor are extremely important in facing ourselves and the mistakes we make because it makes frailties...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi everyone, Well, my day got more difficult, and I am having trouble processing. Again. I was at work, called my wife on my way to my second job. She was out walking our new-to-us dog. (She has been with us about 5 days now, came to us instead of being destroyed, and is the most mild-mannered, sweet dog y...

el-cee · el-cee

The little alanon pamphlet called detachment has been very important to me. It was one of the first things i read and one of the first things that gave me that moment of wow, this is it, this is what i need to do. At first, it went against every idea i was brought up to believe. The influences in my life, my mot...

Truth · Truth

Okay so I really did not expect anything different so I am not hurt or upset. I am wondering what is a healthy way to respond when you have discovered someone has mislead you by leaving out important information that would have changed your decision.

Bloodshotbetty · Bloodshotbetty

As I have mentioned before,my AH drove drunk and flipped our car with us in it. Since then, many members of my family have not wanted contact with him. Which I understand. I have a niece and nephew who are the light of my world. My sister told me she doesn't want my AH around the kids. I have regular sle...

Irish7 · Irish7

I've been going to f2f al anon meetings for 3 months and am working the program very intently. I've also been listening to speaker tapes daily, and it get so much from them. I attend an open AA meeting each week, which helps me develop compassion that I lacked here at home with AH and alcoholic stepson (I t...

mersi · mersi

Hallo I would like to ask you, other adult children of alcoholics how do u feel and how is your life like???do u also feel often sad and depressed?like u dont know where u going in life and what u want and who u really are?my life is full of ups and downs and i have mood swings and terrible feelings of isolatio...

mercedes1959 · mercedes1959

I have been finding that I am back to that bad habit of concentrating on others way too much. I have decided to go back to two hobbies I used to have. I am going to gardening programs, want to someday get my master gardener designation, I have been to two programs, a fruit tree sale and have two programs to go...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

I've heard in meetings lately "My thinking can kill me." Please share what that means to you, and what you do about it. Thank you.

yanksfan51 · yanksfan51

Good Morning MIP: The focus of today's reading is the slogan "Live And Let Live". The writer admits not being completely comfortable with the phrase, until an Alanon speaker compared it to working his own plot of land (his 'emotional acre') and not trying to tend other people's. This me...

Skorpi · Skorpi

Hi Everyone, It has been close to a month since my wife wrecked her car, and I feel like my journey with Alanon has been extremely positive and productive so far. I have been working on detachment, and letting my wife make her own decisions and be responsible for those decisions. While I make my own dec...

likemyheart · likemyheart

And I didn't have to do anything to make it so - Its early March and our temp was in the mid-sixties; I spent a lot of time yesterday and today trimming that in my yard that needed trimming and then, this morning found me burning burning burning it to my heart's content. Nearing the end of the pyromaniac hou...

hotrod · hotrod

The ODA T reading for today is really powerful and thought provoking. It speaks about one of the symptoms of living with the disease of alcoholism.--- which is an attack of anger. It defines this attack as an "uncontrollable impulse to judge and condemn someone". In this explosion. I am re...

sweeetr · sweeetr

I always come back for guidance. My life has been going well last few months. Unbeleivably well actually. My ex AH has been tying his life up with legal probs, rehabs and jail for breaking probation requirements with more DWI's. BTW ... the abilility to buy out (have disposed) DWI's in Tx is unnerving!...

Smiley99 · Smiley99

Yesterday, my husband brought hard liquor in to our home, which is something I have told him many times is unacceptable to me. He tends to become verbally abusive after consuming hard liquor and it is very upsetting even though I try to detatch. It happens every time he touches the stuff. Anyway, he...

Debb · Debb

I had an epiphany and wanted to share, because when you have suffered for a long period of time and have emerged a better person, the need to share becomes very important and the part of the last step in the Al-Anon protocol. I am not a very verbose person so you may find this short and sweet, but very to the...

Beatrice · Beatrice

I'm doing good. Sorry I have been remiss . I've been attending school to get my certification to be an Alcohol and Drug counselor. That's where I have been. Loving it... We are all counselor's here on this board with much experience and knowledge. Hope this finds you all doing well and living it every da...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	eligibilty for Al-Anon (Preview) Someone told me, I think that it was on this board but I can't be sure, that because of my wife's being a long-timer in Al an, that I am eligible, even though my family lacks any addict or abuser. I've had my own therapy for 100 years so am skeptical of my need or potential benefit from going a 12 step route. ...	drywit44	5	702	Mar 18, 2015 by 1911A1
	Dry Drunk ?? (Preview) I am rather new to all of this, so I was wondering if someone can explain the term "dry drunk" to me. I am hoping my 26 year old daughter stops drinking and gets her life on track, but will it just be her not drinking but still having the same issues with her? What will she have to lie about if she'...	pamala	9	3282	Mar 17, 2015 by Helpangel
	C2C 3-16 (Preview) The Courage to Change today speaks about progress not perfection. It reinforces the idea that Al-Anon works slowly and surely as we use the tools each day one day at a time. The reading points out that many times we have unhealthy attitudes as to how quickly we should grow and change, and become disappo...	hotrod	6	514	Mar 17, 2015 by Debb
	Happy where I am at .... (Preview) I woke up this morning ... Read a bit sat in silence and realized I am happy where I am. I am single, a mom, love my son and my job	Truth	3	367	Mar 17, 2015 by hotrod
	I just gotta do this... (Preview) This is bold & proud! I am so grateful for everyone in my life who have been w/ me through the ups & downs. I hope that in the future there will be more ups than downs just so I can help another struggling Al anon member or anyone who has difficulties that can't deal w/them on their own. I am a prime exa...	Hoot Nanny	1	385	Mar 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Holiday (Preview) Happy St. Patrick's Day to all	hotrod	1	266	Mar 17, 2015 by Debb
	Questioning my motives (Preview) I feel like I have I made some progress in the last few months regarding my 19 year old AD. I am practicing self care again (used to be really good at this prior to addictions entering my life). I have been reading a lot of the literature, trying to use the slogans that I find helpful and practicing detach...	serenity47	12	971	Mar 17, 2015 by akk
	It's the little things... (Preview) I decided that this week I would take some steps to detach when AH calls me during the day to rant and rave about anything and everything. The way I have handled it in the past was to try to counsel him, try to help him strategize ways to deal with problems, or issues at work, I would try whatever I could to tr...	CoopsMom	3	456	Mar 17, 2015 by Skorpi
	I want to go to a Meeting tomorrow night but won't have a ride (Preview) I have never called anyone from my f2f meetings. I have missed the one meeting I started at (where the woman I plan to ask to be one of my sponsors is at) for tw0 weeks due to being sick etc. I want to go tomorrow night but I will not have my car. My AH does not like the AA meeting that is held at the same tim...	ladybugnessa	8	666	Mar 17, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	Where to draw the line when someone is being injured? (Preview) Hi MIP! My AH's dad ( who is an active long time drinker) has been married for 30 years to a woman who is physically abusive. Friday night she pummeled him pretty good - apparently because he was drinking. His head is swollen and it looks like she was especially brutal. So clearly - these are two sick p...	LedfootJenny	10	588	Mar 17, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	"thanks for your input honey I will think about it" (Preview) I want to share how much peace the title of this post brings me now. every time my Idiot AH says something that I know is wrong (today it was that ZICAM makes my very bad cold worse) I say "thanks honey You may be right let me think about it" and I go on my way. all the while I'm thinking about...	ladybugnessa	10	642	Mar 17, 2015 by Gailsy
	HFT Mar 17 (Preview) Morning MIP- This reading is about how our sense of responsibility can become inflated to the point that we are resentful for all that we do (even if we are the ones insisting on doing everything!). I mentioned in an earlier post that my first experience with this feeling was as a child--I am the younge...	yanksfan51	1	388	Mar 17, 2015 by hotrod
	Firsts for him, first for me (Preview) We had our first gaming convention this weekend. At a hotel, with a bar. Standard practice in the past was to bring his own scotch and get beer at the bar. He had not had any cravings till Friday night. Hubby had a craving for a drink after a stressful board game. I WAS not there. He does not have a s...	ladybugnessa	9	595	Mar 17, 2015 by ladybugnessa
	One of those days that just works. (Preview) All has been right with my world today. I woke late (daughter is away this weekend). Did 2 assignments over coffee and then a bit of housework and then I remembered my self-care commitment so I got into the bath (believe it or not, I have been in this house for 6 weeks now yet this was STILL my FIRST BATH IN 5 Y...	missmeliss	9	670	Mar 16, 2015 by a4l
	Still in denial (Preview) There are only three people I have told about my husband's problem. I can barely admit it to myself most days. We"ll have a good stretch of time and I think, well maybe the worst is over, and then something happens and I feel upset again. Last night we were home watching TV and his eyes got red and I fel...	Alma Daigle	5	487	Mar 16, 2015 by Fairlee
	Dad passed (Preview) Hi everyone, it's been sometime since I have been to the boards and I can definitely tell I have been missing you all! My Dad passed away last weekend and his funeral was Wednesday March 11, ironically that was his bday, so he got his wish that we had a party for him. I delivered his eulogy and was pleasantl...	Flower49	12	514	Mar 16, 2015 by Fairlee
	do we have the right to insist or expect sobriety? (Preview) Does being married or living with another person mean we have the right to insist they change, get sober, behave in a certain way? what if the mistake was ours in the first place? I mean we meet a person, build up our idea of who that person is, build our own expectations around how that person will behave,...	el-cee	23	845	Mar 16, 2015 by a4l
	Hello - Repost (Preview) I had trouble registering, so I decided to try again and repost my message. Thank you to all who responded to earlier message.I am new to this site and i have no idea where to start. I find it hard to open up to strangers about my toxic family issues. I just don't know where to begin.I too read the "Laun...	gar1967	7	453	Mar 16, 2015 by Mirandac
	Extremely alcoholic mum alcoholism alcohol alcoholic parent mom (Preview) Hey I'm kinda new here but I'm Chelsea and I'm 16. I don't get along with my mom at all now and moved in with my dad two years ago because of her extreme drinking problem. she has been drinking since before she had me but has gradually got worse, to the point where me and dad never tell her if I have a parents eve...	Chelseacat44	7	8418	Mar 16, 2015 by Chelseacat44
	asking for prayers and encouragement!!! (Preview) I realize my landlady has all the abusive characteristics of my ex,I am starting the process to have justice served.After class today I am making some phone calls.I have local numbers I am going to call to complain and see if I have a civil case for trespassing.I know it will be stressful and I am going to...	mjferg	5	370	Mar 16, 2015 by el-cee
	SO OVERWHELMED (Preview) My husband just got out of the hospital 3 days ago for alcohol withdrawals. He was withdrawing from alcohol because he goes through detox at home. He was experiencing DTs for the first time in his life. It was scary and I almost had to commit him to psychiatric help. Anyway, we've been doing well for 3 day...	MarieMcD	5	549	Mar 15, 2015 by Lyne
	Alcoholic Wife of Brother-in-law affecting Children alcoholic mother suicide suicidal runaway (Preview) Hello, I'm not sure of where else to turn at this point. My brother-in-law's wife has been dealing with severe alcoholism for many years now. Things became quite bad almost five years ago. She suffered from withdrawal and was in a medically induced coma for almost a month and nearly died. Since then s...	lockecole	6	3489	Mar 15, 2015 by Chelseacat44
	ODAT 3-15 (Preview) I loved today's reading in the ODAT It points out that attending Al-Anon meetings is extremely important to growth in Al-Anon. It suggests that when we first begin attending meetings, we find a safe place to share and it feels good to do so. After a while, it is important to note that complaining abo...	hotrod	2	401	Mar 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Lots and lots of gratitudes. (Preview) My mother drove here yesterday...in my new car!! It's so much newer and shinier than I imagined, it has barely been used by the previous owner. I was almost in a bit of shock when I first laid eyes on it, I've never owned anything new and nice before really. Haha, yes, me who doesn't want or value posession...	missmeliss	6	663	Mar 15, 2015 by pinkchip
	too much stress! (Preview) Some of you know I have been having problems with my landlady,basically she is a slumlord and doesn't fix anything.She intimidates people with her anger and threatens you with eviction.The people who live here are afraid of her and they just keep quiet to have peace.I stood up to her about some things...	mjferg	15	605	Mar 15, 2015 by Skorpi
	happy mothers day uk (Preview) Its mothers day here and its a good time to reflect on what it means to be a mother and to have a mother in our lives. My own mother has been dead for over 10 years now and im a different person to the person she knew. I imagine our relationship would be a good one, i have accepted my mother and her flaws and the gi...	el-cee	2	439	Mar 15, 2015 by hotrod
	Wants Baby But Has Alcoholic Hubby (Preview) I love my husband with all my heart. When he is sober, he is the most loving, kind, sweet, compassionate person. We have been together for 4 years, and I knew he was an alcoholic after about the first 6 months. We lived together for the first few years prior to marriage, and it's rough to have the "par...	MarieMcD	14	727	Mar 15, 2015 by Kerrymom
	ODAT 3-14 (Preview) The ODA T reading for today is extremely powerful. It points out that many of us have lost our faith and belief in prayer, and that sometimes we reach a point where we cry out in anguish, begging an unknown power to relieve us of our burden. The reading goes on to explain that we are imprisoned by our own...	hotrod	7	496	Mar 14, 2015 by hotrod
	Concern about alcoholic's health (Preview) I don't know a lot about how alcohol affects the health of the addict. I have been dealing with for a couple of months much more than my spouse's addiction. Lately, she hasn't been eating (at least not in front of me) and I know in spite of being sick (throwing up constantly, diarrhea, stomach cramps,...	gabigail	7	749	Mar 14, 2015 by YARNCRAZY
	Enabling vs. Controlling (Preview) So, I have been struggling with the line between enabling and controlling lately. A while back, someone asked me to think about the line between compassion and enabling, and I have been thinking on that ever since. On the surface, things sounds really clear. Not enabling is not condoning behavior,...	Skorpi	5	680	Mar 14, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	Thank all of you! (Preview) I came to Al-anon to figure out how to deal with my AH. Like all of us. I fought it. the first time I went to one meeting and I hated it that was a couple of years ago. Life might have been different if I had done it right then and stuck around and shopped for meetings... but I didn't. I went I listened an...	ladybugnessa	5	654	Mar 14, 2015 by el-cee
	ABF coming out of rehab (Preview) I am a newbie, and have been lurking in the background. Reading your posts throughout the day gets me by when I'm working and can't get to a meeting. I had a difficult time talking to him when I visited him in rehab. He didn't want to talk about the program or his progress - just that he was busy and he had to...	paango	7	729	Mar 14, 2015 by el-cee
	Sex/intimacy and the alc marriage (Preview) well, i hve posted thoughts on this topic before but find i need to revisit it again , bc although im getting off the roller coaster from last week there are always more rides to come. . this week its sex. something i dont talk about well and according to my ah, im lousy at and completly uninterested in. (ok...	Theoceancalls	20	1239	Mar 14, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 3-13 (Preview) Today's reading in the C2C talks about Step 7 and focuses on the word HUMBLE. It reminds us that many times we view this word as a negative, tearful, embarrassing experience but that being humble can actually be accomplished with humor and joy. It builds on the reading this week that spoke about...	hotrod	3	432	Mar 13, 2015 by Skorpi
	Where can a person go for help when their loved one's Alcoholism/drug addiction results in lethal overdose? (Preview) I know AlAnon is for people whose lives are affected by Alcoholism...but I think this means the Alcoholic is still alive. What organization (online or other) is there for those whose relative succumbed to the disease? Grief support groups generally seem to be geared toward a different kind of death...	lgnutah	7	790	Mar 13, 2015 by lgnutah
	heads up (Preview) Spent yesterday afternoon partly in the ER. I've been having head aches for just over 3 months. Yesterday was severe and the VA wasn't open just the Hospital ER. They did the needles and tests and then CRT or what ever. My headaches yesterday were off the scale and I couldn't wait for the VA on the 1...	Jerry F	39	903	Mar 13, 2015 by Jerry F
	Tradition 4 posted (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t59808974/tradition-4-alanon/	hotrod	0	729	Mar 13, 2015 by hotrod
	Can my husband get clean without going to rehab (Preview) My husband finally admitted that he is an alcholic. This was a big step for him but it was a long time coming. Over this past weekend he drank so much vodka that he was out of control. I took the kids and left and then he admitted it to me that night. He surprised me yesterday and went to an AA meeting where h...	Jazzie18	10	729	Mar 13, 2015 by Cooper
	A definition of acceptance (Preview) I was listening to a speaker on a tape AA or Al Anon-- I cannot recall which) who said that every time she has trouble accepting something it is because she is longing for a choice that isn't available. This really resonated with me!	Irish7	7	3524	Mar 12, 2015 by andromeda
	Husband went to his second AA meeting (Preview) I was so excited when he went to his second meeting last night. Not too excited when he came home asking to have a beer. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea and he went ahead and had a beer with dinner. It was so hard for me to not be super pissed at him. I told him that I was really proud of him for going...	Jazzie18	7	573	Mar 12, 2015 by Mattie
	Things that make you sigh... (Preview) I won't rehash all the issues I have had with my son the last few years but his drinking and drug use is well known in our family and his moms family yet people still want to feed the animal. I just saw a FaceBook posting from my daughter, she and my son were at their moms house for a dinner. In the picture...	Cooper	6	705	Mar 12, 2015 by Cooper
	C2C 3-12 (Preview) The Courage to Change reading for today presents the idea of detachment in a very simple format. It states that Detachment with love simply means that I stop depending on what others do, say or feel to determine my own well-being, or make my decisions.When faced with others destructive attitudes an...	hotrod	3	466	Mar 12, 2015 by Jerry F
	Feeling Pushed (Preview) i have been feeling pushed and i do not like the feeling. I have a tendency to push back. My ah is pushing my buttons for pre settlement money, selling the house immediately and he wants to move on. Ah is unwilling to split assets or pay spousal support. We have a high monthly mtg and payments. They are...	Mirandac	11	635	Mar 11, 2015 by Mirandac
	C2C 3 11 (Preview) The reading in the C2C today is very applicable. It talks about MMOB and uses humor to address this difficult defect that I had so much trouble shedding.The reading suggests that laughter and humor are extremely important in facing ourselves and the mistakes we make because it makes frailties...	hotrod	4	468	Mar 11, 2015 by hotrod
	Boundaries and a line in the sand? (Preview) Hi everyone, Well, my day got more difficult, and I am having trouble processing. Again. I was at work, called my wife on my way to my second job. She was out walking our new-to-us dog. (She has been with us about 5 days now, came to us instead of being destroyed, and is the most mild-mannered, sweet dog y...	Skorpi	20	887	Mar 11, 2015 by Mattie
	the myths about detaching (Preview) The little alanon pamphlet called detachment has been very important to me. It was one of the first things i read and one of the first things that gave me that moment of wow, this is it, this is what i need to do. At first, it went against every idea i was brought up to believe. The influences in my life, my mot...	el-cee	6	890	Mar 11, 2015 by DavidG
	Dealing with someone misleading you... (Preview) Okay so I really did not expect anything different so I am not hurt or upset. I am wondering what is a healthy way to respond when you have discovered someone has mislead you by leaving out important information that would have changed your decision.	Truth	14	892	Mar 10, 2015 by Truth
	Feeling sad about reaction from sister. (Preview) As I have mentioned before,my AH drove drunk and flipped our car with us in it. Since then, many members of my family have not wanted contact with him. Which I understand. I have a niece and nephew who are the light of my world. My sister told me she doesn't want my AH around the kids. I have regular sle...	Bloodshotbetty	15	840	Mar 10, 2015 by tiredtonite
	Is loss of interest typical as you work the al anon program? (Preview) I've been going to f2f al anon meetings for 3 months and am working the program very intently. I've also been listening to speaker tapes daily, and it get so much from them. I attend an open AA meeting each week, which helps me develop compassion that I lacked here at home with AH and alcoholic stepson (I t...	Irish7	12	679	Mar 10, 2015 by Fairlee
	AC O A (Preview) Hallo I would like to ask you, other adult children of alcoholics how do u feel and how is your life like???do u also feel often sad and depressed?like u dont know where u going in life and what u want and who u really are?my life is full of ups and downs and i have mood swings and terrible feelings of isolatio...	mersi	6	770	Mar 10, 2015 by LedfootJenny
	This is what I did for me today. (Preview) I have been finding that I am back to that bad habit of concentrating on others way too much. I have decided to go back to two hobbies I used to have. I am going to gardening programs, want to someday get my master gardener designation, I have been to two programs, a fruit tree sale and have two programs to go...	mercedes1959	19	674	Mar 10, 2015 by mercedes1959
	Our Thinking (Preview) I've heard in meetings lately "My thinking can kill me." Please share what that means to you, and what you do about it. Thank you.	WorkingThroughIt	8	585	Mar 10, 2015 by WorkingThroughIt
	Hope For Today Mar 10 (Preview) Good Morning MIP: The focus of today's reading is the slogan "Live And Let Live". The writer admits not being completely comfortable with the phrase, until an Alanon speaker compared it to working his own plot of land (his 'emotional acre') and not trying to tend other people's. This me...	yanksfan51	2	596	Mar 10, 2015 by hotrod
	Trying to stay off the roller-coaster (Preview) Hi Everyone, It has been close to a month since my wife wrecked her car, and I feel like my journey with Alanon has been extremely positive and productive so far. I have been working on detachment, and letting my wife make her own decisions and be responsible for those decisions. While I make my own dec...	Skorpi	4	1406	Mar 9, 2015 by Skorpi
	Today was a beautiful day (Preview) And I didn't have to do anything to make it so - Its early March and our temp was in the mid-sixties; I spent a lot of time yesterday and today trimming that in my yard that needed trimming and then, this morning found me burning burning burning it to my heart's content. Nearing the end of the pyromaniac hou...	likemyheart	4	633	Mar 9, 2015 by Breakingfree
	3-9 ODAT (Preview) The ODA T reading for today is really powerful and thought provoking. It speaks about one of the symptoms of living with the disease of alcoholism.--- which is an attack of anger. It defines this attack as an "uncontrollable impulse to judge and condemn someone". In this explosion. I am re...	hotrod	3	550	Mar 9, 2015 by Debb
	nightmares and fear upon my exAH being released from jail in next couple days #fearful #reopened old wounds (Preview) I always come back for guidance. My life has been going well last few months. Unbeleivably well actually. My ex AH has been tying his life up with legal probs, rehabs and jail for breaking probation requirements with more DWI's. BTW ... the abilility to buy out (have disposed) DWI's in Tx is unnerving!...	sweeetr	19	954	Mar 9, 2015 by sweeetr
	Am I setting boundaries or being controlling? (Preview) Yesterday, my husband brought hard liquor in to our home, which is something I have told him many times is unacceptable to me. He tends to become verbally abusive after consuming hard liquor and it is very upsetting even though I try to detatch. It happens every time he touches the stuff. Anyway, he...	Smiley99	6	525	Mar 9, 2015 by Jerry F
	Sharing My Epiphany (Preview) I had an epiphany and wanted to share, because when you have suffered for a long period of time and have emerged a better person, the need to share becomes very important and the part of the last step in the Al-Anon protocol. I am not a very verbose person so you may find this short and sweet, but very to the...	Debb	7	604	Mar 9, 2015 by Debb
	Hi All!! (Preview) I'm doing good. Sorry I have been remiss . I've been attending school to get my certification to be an Alcohol and Drug counselor. That's where I have been. Loving it... We are all counselor's here on this board with much experience and knowledge. Hope this finds you all doing well and living it every da...	Beatrice	5	557	Mar 9, 2015 by Beatrice
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.