Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hudsond · hudsond

Hello everybody! It has been awhile. I am back from maternity and have the cutest little 8 week old boy! I am back enjoying the baby stage even though my sober ah can get on my nerves about how I should do things. After the 1st month I wasn't sure we were going to make it, but I decided to try and let it roll...

serendipity · serendipity

I have been awful down lately, on myself and others. So, I was trying to remember the good things about myself. Maybe I don't apperciate these things or maybe I don't feel grateful for them, but they are still there. So, here goes! I am honest (even more so since leaving the A) with myself and with others...

Lost but still trying · Lost but still trying

Hi family! I haven't been here for a long time (a month+) and I have missed you all. The basic gist of my life now is that my AH went to detox for a little over a week and when he got out, was living with his dad & sister. He took 10 ambiens one night and flipped out so they kicked him out and his brother too...

Christy · Christy

(((((Alanuts))))) I felt a bit misunderstood but moreso kind of frustrated in a recent post. As I mulled it over I thought my frustration might be because I couldn't find the words I needed. I think what the book, "Happier Than God" has to say in terms of our choosing our personal truths has...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am confused but hanging in there! Anxiety got me yesterday and I feel like I need a break. I hope that I can start to feel better soon. I just need to say that I am confused and kinda depressed since I had a crazy weekend and am not in my right frame of mind still. I wish I could say more but because of anonymi...

java · java

I'm on my 4th marriage dealing with the effects of alcoholism. I have been spending a lot of time being resentful with my current husband and thought maybe I should talk on gratitude. When I came into this program after my second marriage I would never have understood me. What makes me tick, why I'm attr...

JenniferN · JenniferN

um ok...so while I was making a reply post just a few minutes ago the woman called...the fellow AA member from the far away group....wanting to speak to him, when I told her he wasn't here she apologized for bothering me but was just wondering if he was coming out there tonight to the meeting....I told he...

Jen · Jen

It is hard to tell my AH this. He is doing pretty well, has 6 months sober. But he often gets into this frame of mind that he seems to want reactions from me that validate his feelings about himself. So we had a discussion yesterday, before he left, about how I feel when he acts like this. He hovers around me,...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So I went and the social worker came and I felt so much better having her there. My daughter had ISS (in school suspension) yesterday for being "disrespectful" and apparently she had made bunny ears behind the teacher and been chewing gum earlier in the day. Seemed frivilous to me but the...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

Haven't posted in a long time. I feel I got sucked back in Big time. E/ A/Bf called me just after the first of January, asking for my help. It was the worst I have ever seen him. Pain pills, muscle relaxers, slleeping pills and beer, hard liquor. And trying to raise his 8 year old son. This is a man who lived wi...

boobahsmommy · boobahsmommy

First I would like to say hello to you all. I hope that I'm in the right place (I've been told that this is where I need to be). Let me give you some background real quick. My fiance and I are both addicts. I am currently in recovery while he is still in active addiction. We are pretty much at the end. We h...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, This is going to be a whiney post, but I just need to get it out. My ah is trying to redeem himself as a father, which I know I should appreciate, but it bugs me! Yesterday while I was at work, and he wasn't, he left a voicemail asking if I wanted him to pick up anything for my daughter's bday party t...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I had the day off (wow!) and AH asked if I wanted to go to his doctor's appt with him. I said I didn't want to go if he wasn't going to tell the doc what was really going on. He said he needed help and wanted to talk to the doctor so I said OK. He was honest, and told the doc about drinking everyday. Wasn't honest ab...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Hi, my name is Jennifer and my boyfriend is 252 days sober today. I'm kind of new to the program. I do attend meetings, on occasion, and I do have a sponsor that I don't really talk to because I like to isolate myself. And yes, I know that's not good. I know, I know. I haven't been taking care of me like I should...

Diva · Diva

I have one sister who is five years older than I. THis sister has always, "had it in for me". As long as I can remember. Ours has been a touchy relationship at best and a toxic one at worst. All of our lives I have always landed on my feet, been in the right place at the right time; I say I have a guardi...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A called me last night from jail. He apparently has been written up 3 times in 24 hours. To hear him told, of course, it really is for nothing he did. Anyway, he may be in "lock down" for the next month - which would solve the whole answering the phone issue. My problem today is a react...

MIDGET · MIDGET

Mt AH and I have been together for 15 plus yrs.Hes been a hard core alcoholic for over a yr.Lost his job , cause he was too drunk to go in .I forced him to go to rehab in Dec.He was doing really wel, sober for 60 days.Thn the nite he came home for an overnite pass he got drunk.Now most guys would want to be "w...

kissers · kissers

There was not a source to quote this from. Thought it hit the nail on the head regarding the previous post of being close. Are You Really Available? One of the questions which often comes up in relationship work involves how available people are for a healthy relationship. As someone at a recent worksh...

glad · glad

I'll try to be brief since I've already mentioned most of this. but don't count on it! The major issue with my boyfriend "A" is (very hurtful situations have occured that focus around him not wanting to share his heart with me, including him "trusting" or befriending anoth...

JenniferN · JenniferN

It took me a mintute to figure out if that is what I was feeling...disappointed...and yes, it is....not in me, of course in him. He was just talking about getting some computer work done here at home and the guy doing it won't be available until after Mike is gone this afternoon. He's going to get a new tat...

debilyn · debilyn

Thank you for your great responses. They made me giggle and feel warm. I bugged the massive mortgage company for seven hours. I had people all over trying to reach the two dept. supervisors I needed. I am not kidding. Finally a person said, I am tired of this, she was??? lol she said she was going to walk to...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for the replys. Since I've posted that, I have had time to think, serious time to think, and we did talk about it. I just wanted to spend time with him but didn't dwell on what I wanted or how I felt about it. I thought about the fact that he hasn't seen this particular fr...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I have been with my A for almost a year now, and over this past year I have kind of marveled at the fact that we are still together. I don't have the best track record with relationships. Except for being legally married for 5 years (separated 4 years), this is the longest relationship I've ever had!! E...

serendipity · serendipity

I can't hear enough about resentments. I have so many of them. Most days, I still feel pretty numb. But when the numbness wears off a bit there they are. Filling me with rage and anger. I need to hear some ESH on what y'all do with your resentments. I do not want to be a bitter old woman who abuses others becau...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking a lot lately about my capacaties for things. I have had various people in the house being sick including myself over the past few months and have been having to really push myself to make up time leading to working 14 hour fridays every week. After that I have to get up at 7 the next mo...

omajoy · omajoy

I noted in two posts yesterday ideas about moving to Florida. It is a great place to live for its climate. And that is very important to many people. Where I live is snowbird heaven...that season is from around December until end of March. Then they move back UP NORTH. It is also a huge crowded urban...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

A recent post brought up a great point, I thought. It was about the idea of "being close" to someone who is an A. What does it really mean to experience closeness? Is it even possible to have an experience of closeness with an A? I struggle with this a great deal with the A's in my life in relati...

glad · glad

Went to a great f2f meeting today where I was given the opportunity to share what I felt. Tonight for the first time in several years I don't feel a terrible pain/ grief about my situation. I don't know if it will last as I am accoustomed to waking and going to sleep feeling like I need to "make a decisi...

debilyn · debilyn

hi family, Most business obstacles do not get me to tears and frustration. About six months ago I wanted to do a loan mod.I had to put handicapped access things in my home.I need them for about 25% of my life right now. Most were outside. The Mortgage company made mistake after mistake. I called a lot bec...

Aloha · Aloha

Yesterday I just had a great day - didn't think about my AH and our problems at all. He seemed to be in the same frame of mind, so we actually had a decent evening together. No sulking, no "silent treatment", no residual anger permeating the atmosphere. Of course we both got tied up watching...

babysteps · babysteps

Maresie was posting recently about wanting someone to come and take her away, to protect her and make everything better. I just realized today that I have been wanting the same thing. I have been telling myself that I am not enabling my AH by not pitching in with our business. I tell myself that if I start...

glad · glad

My boyfriend just went to his first AA meeting. Anyone have any suggestions on how to show support/ love, give enough space when he gets home? Okay nevermind I guess, he just walked in with AA book and some kind of coin in one hand and a six pack in the other- I am not kidding. Oh well back to focusing on only m...

CJ098 · CJ098

a couple years ago my dad told me that if I loved my AH and wanted to stay with him, then I should join Al-anon. I had no idea what al-anon was.... and I thought it could not help me. I had the idea that al-anon were for people who chose to stay in a relationship and were weak for doing it. I thought to myself,...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Hi folks I am looking at Compulsion and Desire and trying to work out where fear fits into these, ifindeed it fits at all. Compulsion suggests that I have no self control over something/need, I must have/do whatever, whereas Desire suggests that I do have self control and it is a yearning, a 'I would li...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) You might remember i had a relationship with someone a few weeks ago. And got scared and ended it because he was kind, caring, considerate, loving, and i had never experience that before from a guy. I have regretted it ever since. I hurt him, in a way i shouldn't hav...

kissers · kissers

My daughter's father called and left a message on my answering machine. He found out where we live and my phone number. It's been 8 years since I have seen or heard from him. The last time I saw him he was on drugs and drinking, was physically and verbally abusive. I had to get supervised visitation due to h...

glad · glad

I have no understanding of being scared of being close none at all I only see it as control and being mean and withholding. It hurts so much. I'm telling my A he can go this morning. 4 years of being loving, open, always wanting what's best for him and being told that I am the opposite (because of his progra...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I haven't been able to post for a while and I have missed you all! I don't know if you remember that I ordered a replacement keyboard for my laptop off ebay- well, the guy has disappeared and I am disputing the charge so still no computer at home. Also, my motor blew up in my Jeep last week- cannot eve...

John · John

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Good afternoon family, When I first came here I thought that I would be walking the steps, just the ONCE. Now, almost six months later I realise that I will be walking them many times. It has also come as a complete surprise to realise that as a result of the moral and searching inventory of myself that I be...

serenity62 · serenity62

March Business Meeting Minutes: MIP Business meeting, held March 2, 2008. Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the Secretary's report: February minutes were accepted as written. Next on Agenda was Treasury report: Dot was unavailable so it was tabled until...

CJ098 · CJ098

Okay, I got home from school tonight and I have to be up at 5am to go to work. My AH goes to school too. He drinks on his breaks from class, because there is a liquor store in the same area the school is in. So, he left class early and I was already done, we left to go wait at the bus stop(we don't have a car). He...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I noticed that Toby Rice Drews, author of the "Getting Them Sober" books, recently published the following summary of "sobriety statistics". I'm confident that Toby would have no issue with me re-posting this here, and also would agree that statistics such as these are tou...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The meeting with the counseling place went well last night, the girl and I were instant friends which usually results in better service (sorry to say but it's true). She was very supportive of me, reinforcing what all of you have said about me not being a horrible mother. She has said that they provid...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was on the phone with the principal at the school trying to set up a morning meeting and my cell phone rings and it's the A. He calls to "thank" me for letting him see the kids yesterday and inform me that he slept on the beach last night - good thing it wasn't in the 30s as it has been lately - and t...

tma0413 · tma0413

Having a rough night tonight....AH got his police report tonight on his OUIL, found out that he may be charged with more than a first offense, which means he could be sent to jail. HE is angry and frustated and wants to fight his ticket...I am just trying to LET GO AND LET GOD. As he ranted and raved abo...

omajoy · omajoy

Regardless of how much I am trying to use the tools and deal with my son, it is always something. Right now and for the past two weeks it is where he wants/needs/can live. Since his divorce( 2 years ago) and losing a beautiful home in that process, he has lived in motel rooms, an efficienty above a laund...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

In class today a large part was spent on alcoholics and recovery based methods. I was in tears a few times. Can't really explain why. Guess sometimes I just realize what I'm up against. The teacher mentioned staged intervention and thought it was a good thing, just really reccomended having profess...

jemimap · jemimap

Hi all, My partner is a member of AA and has been sober for five years. He has not drunk since we've been together, and I haven't been affected by his drinking. I would like to develop healthy thinking habits so I can support his sobriety, and that we can have a healthy life together. I've attended a couple...

Aloha · Aloha

In my desparation to ground myself and stop obsessing about everything I think my AH is doing wrong, I decided to read some of the materials on about.com found here: http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa010315a.htm I've only managed to get to Part 6 - Why Do They Stay, but so much of th...

gardengal · gardengal

One of my greatest (lets call it) "character defects" was constantly trying to analyze everything and everybody. I was in constant turmoil with my thoughts thinking way too hard on why people act the way they do, when clearly it was none of my business all along. But no, here I was trying to g...

glad · glad

NO doubt this will seem like a small silly question with so many people going through serious issues but I'm gonna ask it anyway since it has been on my mind for a while. A while back my A and I went to a "self help" type seminar which turned out to be a total disaster for our relationship since it w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just got a call from my daughter's school she needs, needs needs. This is the one who is constantly acting out. The teacher caught me on the phone and said she's probably going to fail and have to repeat the 3rd grade this year. She never does homework, she doesn't participate in class, etc. I am at m...

maresie · maresie

My one remaining cat Ruby is really having a hard time mourning her companion, Benny's passing. She cries a lot and goes into a panic when the dogs are out in the yard. Lately she's been wandering round the yard. I think she is looking for Benny. Thank goodness I am at place in my program where I can give her...

meagain · meagain

Tks for the sincere posts of you in regard to my anger issue with my sister. This morning my Sister DID call me--I was so excited!! She finally called to tell me about my sister-in-law. Well it was more DRAMA about our mom....I listened and then I did tell her I was hurt that she could not communiate to me...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I just want to give a message of encouragement to anyone who is feeling like giving up and running for cover. Believe me, I know that feeling, I have been there and on many occasions I have been proved that I have been nearer to success than I have been to failure when I have experienced and felt the most lo...

needhelp · needhelp

My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is in rehab for the third time in 8 months. This last time he was out for two weeks and was drinking again within just a few days of being home. He then disappeared for about a week and a half and now went back in. I know that he is not being honest about things to me (I just found o...

meagain · meagain

I know I should not be angry-but I am. My Mom lives in the samw city as my sister. So My sister basically is my Mom's #l caregiver. Mom is 82 but is fine i her own home. My sis in my opinion is very co-dependent. Her 2 adult married daughters are always at her home, eating, laying around etc.. with their kids,...

Aloha · Aloha

Sheesh. Just now as I was reading some of the posts here, my husband finished up writing his separate check to pay rent. After he hands me his check, he asks. "So are we still going to keep our money separate or what?" I just said calmly... "Hmm. Yeah. For the time being." &qu...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hi family, just a note of some thoughts and questions I have been having. I thought you might be able to help me out- I have been thinking about an earlier post from Maresie about merging and people-pleasing and I began to wonder: what would it look like NOT to merge and people please but still connect a...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Back (Preview) Hello everybody! It has been awhile. I am back from maternity and have the cutest little 8 week old boy! I am back enjoying the baby stage even though my sober ah can get on my nerves about how I should do things. After the 1st month I wasn't sure we were going to make it, but I decided to try and let it roll...	hudsond	7	332	Mar 10, 2008 by Christy
	How about a positive quality about ourselves? (Preview) I have been awful down lately, on myself and others. So, I was trying to remember the good things about myself. Maybe I don't apperciate these things or maybe I don't feel grateful for them, but they are still there. So, here goes! I am honest (even more so since leaving the A) with myself and with others...	serendipity	13	685	Mar 9, 2008 by gardengal
	It's been a while. . . (Preview) Hi family! I haven't been here for a long time (a month+) and I have missed you all. The basic gist of my life now is that my AH went to detox for a little over a week and when he got out, was living with his dad & sister. He took 10 ambiens one night and flipped out so they kicked him out and his brother too...	Lost but still trying	3	338	Mar 9, 2008 by Karilynn
	Sorry, I just gave birth to a book..lol (Preview) (((((Alanuts))))) I felt a bit misunderstood but moreso kind of frustrated in a recent post. As I mulled it over I thought my frustration might be because I couldn't find the words I needed. I think what the book, "Happier Than God" has to say in terms of our choosing our personal truths has...	Christy	15	749	Mar 9, 2008 by wp
	Confused (Preview) I am confused but hanging in there! Anxiety got me yesterday and I feel like I need a break. I hope that I can start to feel better soon. I just need to say that I am confused and kinda depressed since I had a crazy weekend and am not in my right frame of mind still. I wish I could say more but because of anonymi...	Hoot Nanny	5	434	Mar 8, 2008 by Jean4444
	Grateful for the A? (Preview) I'm on my 4th marriage dealing with the effects of alcoholism. I have been spending a lot of time being resentful with my current husband and thought maybe I should talk on gratitude. When I came into this program after my second marriage I would never have understood me. What makes me tick, why I'm attr...	java	7	478	Mar 8, 2008 by round3
	A Test from my HP??? (Preview) um ok...so while I was making a reply post just a few minutes ago the woman called...the fellow AA member from the far away group....wanting to speak to him, when I told her he wasn't here she apologized for bothering me but was just wondering if he was coming out there tonight to the meeting....I told he...	JenniferN	4	539	Mar 8, 2008 by Jerry F
	I cannot be your self esteem. (Preview) It is hard to tell my AH this. He is doing pretty well, has 6 months sober. But he often gets into this frame of mind that he seems to want reactions from me that validate his feelings about himself. So we had a discussion yesterday, before he left, about how I feel when he acts like this. He hovers around me,...	Jen	7	677	Mar 8, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Update on school meeting (Preview) So I went and the social worker came and I felt so much better having her there. My daughter had ISS (in school suspension) yesterday for being "disrespectful" and apparently she had made bunny ears behind the teacher and been chewing gum earlier in the day. Seemed frivilous to me but the...	carolinagirl	7	350	Mar 8, 2008 by Loupiness
	Just don'y know what to do!!! (Preview) Haven't posted in a long time. I feel I got sucked back in Big time. E/ A/Bf called me just after the first of January, asking for my help. It was the worst I have ever seen him. Pain pills, muscle relaxers, slleeping pills and beer, hard liquor. And trying to raise his 8 year old son. This is a man who lived wi...	sisdragonfly1957	5	598	Mar 7, 2008 by debilyn
	Hello...I need help... (Preview) First I would like to say hello to you all. I hope that I'm in the right place (I've been told that this is where I need to be). Let me give you some background real quick. My fiance and I are both addicts. I am currently in recovery while he is still in active addiction. We are pretty much at the end. We h...	boobahsmommy	11	455	Mar 7, 2008 by maresie
	Bittersweet (Preview) Hi Friends, This is going to be a whiney post, but I just need to get it out. My ah is trying to redeem himself as a father, which I know I should appreciate, but it bugs me! Yesterday while I was at work, and he wasn't, he left a voicemail asking if I wanted him to pick up anything for my daughter's bday party t...	Loupiness	8	378	Mar 7, 2008 by Karilynn
	AH goes to the doctor (Preview) I had the day off (wow!) and AH asked if I wanted to go to his doctor's appt with him. I said I didn't want to go if he wasn't going to tell the doc what was really going on. He said he needed help and wanted to talk to the doctor so I said OK. He was honest, and told the doc about drinking everyday. Wasn't honest ab...	RainyJamie	5	367	Mar 7, 2008 by RainyJamie
	Just saying HI (Preview) Hi, my name is Jennifer and my boyfriend is 252 days sober today. I'm kind of new to the program. I do attend meetings, on occasion, and I do have a sponsor that I don't really talk to because I like to isolate myself. And yes, I know that's not good. I know, I know. I haven't been taking care of me like I should...	JenniferN	7	487	Mar 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	I am begging for your input... (Preview) I have one sister who is five years older than I. THis sister has always, "had it in for me". As long as I can remember. Ours has been a touchy relationship at best and a toxic one at worst. All of our lives I have always landed on my feet, been in the right place at the right time; I say I have a guardi...	Diva	21	961	Mar 6, 2008 by wp
	Am I jealous, insecure or both? (Preview) Well, the A called me last night from jail. He apparently has been written up 3 times in 24 hours. To hear him told, of course, it really is for nothing he did. Anyway, he may be in "lock down" for the next month - which would solve the whole answering the phone issue. My problem today is a react...	Codependent	8	575	Mar 6, 2008 by serendipity
	Help need advice ASAP (Preview) Mt AH and I have been together for 15 plus yrs.Hes been a hard core alcoholic for over a yr.Lost his job , cause he was too drunk to go in .I forced him to go to rehab in Dec.He was doing really wel, sober for 60 days.Thn the nite he came home for an overnite pass he got drunk.Now most guys would want to be "w...	MIDGET	10	375	Mar 6, 2008 by MIDGET
	Being emotionally available (Preview) There was not a source to quote this from. Thought it hit the nail on the head regarding the previous post of being close. *Are You Really Available?* One of the questions which often comes up in relationship work involves how available people are for a healthy relationship. As someone at a recent worksh...	kissers	2	347	Mar 6, 2008 by round3
	Should I have said yes I'll go with you? (Preview) I'll try to be brief since I've already mentioned most of this. but don't count on it! The major issue with my boyfriend "A" is (very hurtful situations have occured that focus around him not wanting to share his heart with me, including him "trusting" or befriending anoth...	glad	9	558	Mar 6, 2008 by Aloha
	Disappointment (Preview) It took me a mintute to figure out if that is what I was feeling...disappointed...and yes, it is....not in me, of course in him. He was just talking about getting some computer work done here at home and the guy doing it won't be available until after Mike is gone this afternoon. He's going to get a new tat...	JenniferN	6	379	Mar 6, 2008 by kissers
	update and thoink you (Preview) Thank you for your great responses. They made me giggle and feel warm. I bugged the massive mortgage company for seven hours. I had people all over trying to reach the two dept. supervisors I needed. I am not kidding. Finally a person said, I am tired of this, she was??? lol she said she was going to walk to...	debilyn	6	396	Mar 6, 2008 by maresie
	Thanks (Preview) I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for the replys. Since I've posted that, I have had time to think, serious time to think, and we did talk about it. I just wanted to spend time with him but didn't dwell on what I wanted or how I felt about it. I thought about the fact that he hasn't seen this particular fr...	JenniferN	1	354	Mar 6, 2008 by Jen
	Paranoia (Preview) I have been with my A for almost a year now, and over this past year I have kind of marveled at the fact that we are still together. I don't have the best track record with relationships. Except for being legally married for 5 years (separated 4 years), this is the longest relationship I've ever had!! E...	JenniferN	3	386	Mar 6, 2008 by maresie
	Resentments (Preview) I can't hear enough about resentments. I have so many of them. Most days, I still feel pretty numb. But when the numbness wears off a bit there they are. Filling me with rage and anger. I need to hear some ESH on what y'all do with your resentments. I do not want to be a bitter old woman who abuses others becau...	serendipity	8	468	Mar 6, 2008 by java
	mental clarity and decision making! (Preview) I have been thinking a lot lately about my capacaties for things. I have had various people in the house being sick including myself over the past few months and have been having to really push myself to make up time leading to working 14 hour fridays every week. After that I have to get up at 7 the next mo...	carolinagirl	4	552	Mar 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	Considering FL? (Preview) I noted in two posts yesterday ideas about moving to Florida. It is a great place to live for its climate. And that is very important to many people. Where I live is snowbird heaven...that season is from around December until end of March. Then they move back UP NORTH. It is also a huge crowded urban...	omajoy	3	312	Mar 6, 2008 by omajoy
	"BEING CLOSE" (Preview) A recent post brought up a great point, I thought. It was about the idea of "being close" to someone who is an A. What does it really mean to experience closeness? Is it even possible to have an experience of closeness with an A? I struggle with this a great deal with the A's in my life in relati...	Jean4444	20	678	Mar 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	Ever wonder if meetings work? (Preview) Went to a great f2f meeting today where I was given the opportunity to share what I felt. Tonight for the first time in several years I don't feel a terrible pain/ grief about my situation. I don't know if it will last as I am accoustomed to waking and going to sleep feeling like I need to "make a decisi...	glad	5	646	Mar 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	friggin frustrated (Preview) hi family, Most business obstacles do not get me to tears and frustration. About six months ago I wanted to do a loan mod.I had to put handicapped access things in my home.I need them for about 25% of my life right now. Most were outside. The Mortgage company made mistake after mistake. I called a lot bec...	debilyn	6	357	Mar 6, 2008 by nmike
	Nice having days where I don't think about it (Preview) Yesterday I just had a great day - didn't think about my AH and our problems at all. He seemed to be in the same frame of mind, so we actually had a decent evening together. No sulking, no "silent treatment", no residual anger permeating the atmosphere. Of course we both got tied up watching...	Aloha	3	430	Mar 6, 2008 by nmike
	Didn't realize (Preview) Maresie was posting recently about wanting someone to come and take her away, to protect her and make everything better. I just realized today that I have been wanting the same thing. I have been telling myself that I am not enabling my AH by not pitching in with our business. I tell myself that if I start...	babysteps	4	345	Mar 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	First AA Meeting HELP! (Preview) My boyfriend just went to his first AA meeting. Anyone have any suggestions on how to show support/ love, give enough space when he gets home? Okay nevermind I guess, he just walked in with AA book and some kind of coin in one hand and a six pack in the other- I am not kidding. Oh well back to focusing on only m...	glad	7	348	Mar 5, 2008 by JenniferN
	When I thought Al-anon was dumb.... (Preview) a couple years ago my dad told me that if I loved my AH and wanted to stay with him, then I should join Al-anon. I had no idea what al-anon was.... and I thought it could not help me. I had the idea that al-anon were for people who chose to stay in a relationship and were weak for doing it. I thought to myself,...	CJ098	7	695	Mar 5, 2008 by JenniferN
	Compulsion and Desire... (Preview) Hi folks I am looking at Compulsion and Desire and trying to work out where fear fits into these, ifindeed it fits at all. Compulsion suggests that I have no self control over something/need, I must have/do whatever, whereas Desire suggests that I do have self control and it is a yearning, a 'I would li...	Heartbroken	5	704	Mar 5, 2008 by Heartbroken
	FEELING POWERLESS AND HURTING.... (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) You might remember i had a relationship with someone a few weeks ago. And got scared and ended it because he was kind, caring, considerate, loving, and i had never experience that before from a guy. I have regretted it ever since. I hurt him, in a way i shouldn't hav...	ally	8	459	Mar 5, 2008 by Karilynn
	He calls after 8 years (Preview) My daughter's father called and left a message on my answering machine. He found out where we live and my phone number. It's been 8 years since I have seen or heard from him. The last time I saw him he was on drugs and drinking, was physically and verbally abusive. I had to get supervised visitation due to h...	kissers	9	596	Mar 5, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Will I stay strong this time? (Preview) I have no understanding of being scared of being close none at all I only see it as control and being mean and withholding. It hurts so much. I'm telling my A he can go this morning. 4 years of being loving, open, always wanting what's best for him and being told that I am the opposite (because of his progra...	glad	4	434	Mar 5, 2008 by Jean4444
	Doing his legwork (Preview) Well, I haven't been able to post for a while and I have missed you all! I don't know if you remember that I ordered a replacement keyboard for my laptop off ebay- well, the guy has disappeared and I am disputing the charge so still no computer at home. Also, my motor blew up in my Jeep last week- cannot eve...	Codependent	12	355	Mar 5, 2008 by Codependent
	Good Video of some of our characteristics as Al-Anon's (Preview)	John	1	536	Mar 5, 2008 by gardengal
	Not just the once; however I have a dicotomny. (Preview) Good afternoon family, When I first came here I thought that I would be walking the steps, just the ONCE. Now, almost six months later I realise that I will be walking them many times. It has also come as a complete surprise to realise that as a result of the moral and searching inventory of myself that I be...	Heartbroken	2	487	Mar 5, 2008 by Heartbroken
	March Business Meeting Minutes!! (Preview) March Business Meeting Minutes: MIP Business meeting, held March 2, 2008. Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the Secretary's report: February minutes were accepted as written. Next on Agenda was Treasury report: Dot was unavailable so it was tabled until...	serenity62	0	288	Mar 5, 2008 by serenity62
	Do I set the alarm clock? (Preview) Okay, I got home from school tonight and I have to be up at 5am to go to work. My AH goes to school too. He drinks on his breaks from class, because there is a liquor store in the same area the school is in. So, he left class early and I was already done, we left to go wait at the bus stop(we don't have a car). He...	CJ098	8	768	Mar 4, 2008 by concerned123
	Sobriety Statistics (the great debate) (Preview) I noticed that Toby Rice Drews, author of the "Getting Them Sober" books, recently published the following summary of "sobriety statistics". I'm confident that Toby would have no issue with me re-posting this here, and also would agree that statistics such as these are tou...	canadianguy	14	6314	Mar 4, 2008 by SLS
	My solutions (Preview) The meeting with the counseling place went well last night, the girl and I were instant friends which usually results in better service (sorry to say but it's true). She was very supportive of me, reinforcing what all of you have said about me not being a horrible mother. She has said that they provid...	carolinagirl	10	336	Mar 4, 2008 by Tuggboat
	You're not gonna believe this..wait I forget who I'm talking to! (Preview) I was on the phone with the principal at the school trying to set up a morning meeting and my cell phone rings and it's the A. He calls to "thank" me for letting him see the kids yesterday and inform me that he slept on the beach last night - good thing it wasn't in the 30s as it has been lately - and t...	carolinagirl	11	588	Mar 4, 2008 by maresie
	Let go and let GOD.... (Preview) Having a rough night tonight....AH got his police report tonight on his OUIL, found out that he may be charged with more than a first offense, which means he could be sent to jail. HE is angry and frustated and wants to fight his ticket...I am just trying to LET GO AND LET GOD. As he ranted and raved abo...	tma0413	4	644	Mar 4, 2008 by tma0413
	It's ALWAYS something!! (Preview) Regardless of how much I am trying to use the tools and deal with my son, it is always something. Right now and for the past two weeks it is where he wants/needs/can live. Since his divorce( 2 years ago) and losing a beautiful home in that process, he has lived in motel rooms, an efficienty above a laund...	omajoy	8	343	Mar 4, 2008 by Jen
	Intervention on me intervening in AH (Preview) In class today a large part was spent on alcoholics and recovery based methods. I was in tears a few times. Can't really explain why. Guess sometimes I just realize what I'm up against. The teacher mentioned staged intervention and thought it was a good thing, just really reccomended having profess...	RainyJamie	4	491	Mar 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	partner of an AA member and grandchild of an alcholic - do I belong? (Preview) Hi all, My partner is a member of AA and has been sober for five years. He has not drunk since we've been together, and I haven't been affected by his drinking. I would like to develop healthy thinking habits so I can support his sobriety, and that we can have a healthy life together. I've attended a couple...	jemimap	11	599	Mar 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	Wow - this is a great read (Preview) In my desparation to ground myself and stop obsessing about everything I think my AH is doing wrong, I decided to read some of the materials on about.com found here: http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa010315a.htm I've only managed to get to Part 6 - Why Do They Stay, but so much of th...	Aloha	5	584	Mar 4, 2008 by Codependent
	Do you try to over analyze people or events? (Preview) One of my greatest (lets call it) "character defects" was constantly trying to analyze everything and everybody. I was in constant turmoil with my thoughts thinking way too hard on why people act the way they do, when clearly it was none of my business all along. But no, here I was trying to g...	gardengal	9	917	Mar 4, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Would help so much to have feedback please (Preview) NO doubt this will seem like a small silly question with so many people going through serious issues but I'm gonna ask it anyway since it has been on my mind for a while. A while back my A and I went to a "self help" type seminar which turned out to be a total disaster for our relationship since it w...	glad	7	579	Mar 4, 2008 by Loupiness
	I'm at the end of my rope! (Preview) I just got a call from my daughter's school she needs, needs needs. This is the one who is constantly acting out. The teacher caught me on the phone and said she's probably going to fail and have to repeat the 3rd grade this year. She never does homework, she doesn't participate in class, etc. I am at m...	carolinagirl	19	766	Mar 4, 2008 by maresie
	Live and let live (Preview) My one remaining cat Ruby is really having a hard time mourning her companion, Benny's passing. She cries a lot and goes into a panic when the dogs are out in the yard. Lately she's been wandering round the yard. I think she is looking for Benny. Thank goodness I am at place in my program where I can give her...	maresie	3	301	Mar 4, 2008 by java
	RE"anger (Preview) Tks for the sincere posts of you in regard to my anger issue with my sister. This morning my Sister DID call me--I was so excited!! She finally called to tell me about my sister-in-law. Well it was more DRAMA about our mom....I listened and then I did tell her I was hurt that she could not communiate to me...	meagain	1	283	Mar 4, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	'I just want to give up and run for cover.' Believe me I know that feeling. (Preview) I just want to give a message of encouragement to anyone who is feeling like giving up and running for cover. Believe me, I know that feeling, I have been there and on many occasions I have been proved that I have been nearer to success than I have been to failure when I have experienced and felt the most lo...	Heartbroken	7	476	Mar 4, 2008 by Heartbroken
	honesty (Preview) My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is in rehab for the third time in 8 months. This last time he was out for two weeks and was drinking again within just a few days of being home. He then disappeared for about a week and a half and now went back in. I know that he is not being honest about things to me (I just found o...	needhelp	6	399	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	Angry (Preview) I know I should not be angry-but I am. My Mom lives in the samw city as my sister. So My sister basically is my Mom's #l caregiver. Mom is 82 but is fine i her own home. My sis in my opinion is very co-dependent. Her 2 adult married daughters are always at her home, eating, laying around etc.. with their kids,...	meagain	5	425	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	I didn't take the bait (Preview) Sheesh. Just now as I was reading some of the posts here, my husband finished up writing his separate check to pay rent. After he hands me his check, he asks. "So are we still going to keep our money separate or what?" I just said calmly... "Hmm. Yeah. For the time being." &qu...	Aloha	10	752	Mar 3, 2008 by round3
	So, what do you do if you DON"T people please? (Preview) Hi family, just a note of some thoughts and questions I have been having. I thought you might be able to help me out- I have been thinking about an earlier post from Maresie about merging and people-pleasing and I began to wonder: what would it look like NOT to merge and people please but still connect a...	Jean4444	7	519	Mar 3, 2008 by Heartbroken
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.