Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Codependent · Codependent

Well, the A called me last night from jail. He apparently has been written up 3 times in 24 hours. To hear him told, of course, it really is for nothing he did. Anyway, he may be in "lock down" for the next month - which would solve the whole answering the phone issue. My problem today is a react...

MIDGET · MIDGET

Mt AH and I have been together for 15 plus yrs.Hes been a hard core alcoholic for over a yr.Lost his job , cause he was too drunk to go in .I forced him to go to rehab in Dec.He was doing really wel, sober for 60 days.Thn the nite he came home for an overnite pass he got drunk.Now most guys would want to be "w...

kissers · kissers

There was not a source to quote this from. Thought it hit the nail on the head regarding the previous post of being close. Are You Really Available? One of the questions which often comes up in relationship work involves how available people are for a healthy relationship. As someone at a recent worksh...

glad · glad

I'll try to be brief since I've already mentioned most of this. but don't count on it! The major issue with my boyfriend "A" is (very hurtful situations have occured that focus around him not wanting to share his heart with me, including him "trusting" or befriending anoth...

JenniferN · JenniferN

It took me a mintute to figure out if that is what I was feeling...disappointed...and yes, it is....not in me, of course in him. He was just talking about getting some computer work done here at home and the guy doing it won't be available until after Mike is gone this afternoon. He's going to get a new tat...

debilyn · debilyn

Thank you for your great responses. They made me giggle and feel warm. I bugged the massive mortgage company for seven hours. I had people all over trying to reach the two dept. supervisors I needed. I am not kidding. Finally a person said, I am tired of this, she was??? lol she said she was going to walk to...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for the replys. Since I've posted that, I have had time to think, serious time to think, and we did talk about it. I just wanted to spend time with him but didn't dwell on what I wanted or how I felt about it. I thought about the fact that he hasn't seen this particular fr...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I have been with my A for almost a year now, and over this past year I have kind of marveled at the fact that we are still together. I don't have the best track record with relationships. Except for being legally married for 5 years (separated 4 years), this is the longest relationship I've ever had!! E...

serendipity · serendipity

I can't hear enough about resentments. I have so many of them. Most days, I still feel pretty numb. But when the numbness wears off a bit there they are. Filling me with rage and anger. I need to hear some ESH on what y'all do with your resentments. I do not want to be a bitter old woman who abuses others becau...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have been thinking a lot lately about my capacaties for things. I have had various people in the house being sick including myself over the past few months and have been having to really push myself to make up time leading to working 14 hour fridays every week. After that I have to get up at 7 the next mo...

omajoy · omajoy

I noted in two posts yesterday ideas about moving to Florida. It is a great place to live for its climate. And that is very important to many people. Where I live is snowbird heaven...that season is from around December until end of March. Then they move back UP NORTH. It is also a huge crowded urban...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

A recent post brought up a great point, I thought. It was about the idea of "being close" to someone who is an A. What does it really mean to experience closeness? Is it even possible to have an experience of closeness with an A? I struggle with this a great deal with the A's in my life in relati...

glad · glad

Went to a great f2f meeting today where I was given the opportunity to share what I felt. Tonight for the first time in several years I don't feel a terrible pain/ grief about my situation. I don't know if it will last as I am accoustomed to waking and going to sleep feeling like I need to "make a decisi...

debilyn · debilyn

hi family, Most business obstacles do not get me to tears and frustration. About six months ago I wanted to do a loan mod.I had to put handicapped access things in my home.I need them for about 25% of my life right now. Most were outside. The Mortgage company made mistake after mistake. I called a lot bec...

Aloha · Aloha

Yesterday I just had a great day - didn't think about my AH and our problems at all. He seemed to be in the same frame of mind, so we actually had a decent evening together. No sulking, no "silent treatment", no residual anger permeating the atmosphere. Of course we both got tied up watching...

babysteps · babysteps

Maresie was posting recently about wanting someone to come and take her away, to protect her and make everything better. I just realized today that I have been wanting the same thing. I have been telling myself that I am not enabling my AH by not pitching in with our business. I tell myself that if I start...

glad · glad

My boyfriend just went to his first AA meeting. Anyone have any suggestions on how to show support/ love, give enough space when he gets home? Okay nevermind I guess, he just walked in with AA book and some kind of coin in one hand and a six pack in the other- I am not kidding. Oh well back to focusing on only m...

CJ098 · CJ098

a couple years ago my dad told me that if I loved my AH and wanted to stay with him, then I should join Al-anon. I had no idea what al-anon was.... and I thought it could not help me. I had the idea that al-anon were for people who chose to stay in a relationship and were weak for doing it. I thought to myself,...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Hi folks I am looking at Compulsion and Desire and trying to work out where fear fits into these, ifindeed it fits at all. Compulsion suggests that I have no self control over something/need, I must have/do whatever, whereas Desire suggests that I do have self control and it is a yearning, a 'I would li...

ally · ally

((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) You might remember i had a relationship with someone a few weeks ago. And got scared and ended it because he was kind, caring, considerate, loving, and i had never experience that before from a guy. I have regretted it ever since. I hurt him, in a way i shouldn't hav...

kissers · kissers

My daughter's father called and left a message on my answering machine. He found out where we live and my phone number. It's been 8 years since I have seen or heard from him. The last time I saw him he was on drugs and drinking, was physically and verbally abusive. I had to get supervised visitation due to h...

glad · glad

I have no understanding of being scared of being close none at all I only see it as control and being mean and withholding. It hurts so much. I'm telling my A he can go this morning. 4 years of being loving, open, always wanting what's best for him and being told that I am the opposite (because of his progra...

Codependent · Codependent

Well, I haven't been able to post for a while and I have missed you all! I don't know if you remember that I ordered a replacement keyboard for my laptop off ebay- well, the guy has disappeared and I am disputing the charge so still no computer at home. Also, my motor blew up in my Jeep last week- cannot eve...

John · John

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Good afternoon family, When I first came here I thought that I would be walking the steps, just the ONCE. Now, almost six months later I realise that I will be walking them many times. It has also come as a complete surprise to realise that as a result of the moral and searching inventory of myself that I be...

serenity62 · serenity62

March Business Meeting Minutes: MIP Business meeting, held March 2, 2008. Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the Secretary's report: February minutes were accepted as written. Next on Agenda was Treasury report: Dot was unavailable so it was tabled until...

CJ098 · CJ098

Okay, I got home from school tonight and I have to be up at 5am to go to work. My AH goes to school too. He drinks on his breaks from class, because there is a liquor store in the same area the school is in. So, he left class early and I was already done, we left to go wait at the bus stop(we don't have a car). He...

canadianguy · canadianguy

I noticed that Toby Rice Drews, author of the "Getting Them Sober" books, recently published the following summary of "sobriety statistics". I'm confident that Toby would have no issue with me re-posting this here, and also would agree that statistics such as these are tou...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

The meeting with the counseling place went well last night, the girl and I were instant friends which usually results in better service (sorry to say but it's true). She was very supportive of me, reinforcing what all of you have said about me not being a horrible mother. She has said that they provid...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I was on the phone with the principal at the school trying to set up a morning meeting and my cell phone rings and it's the A. He calls to "thank" me for letting him see the kids yesterday and inform me that he slept on the beach last night - good thing it wasn't in the 30s as it has been lately - and t...

tma0413 · tma0413

Having a rough night tonight....AH got his police report tonight on his OUIL, found out that he may be charged with more than a first offense, which means he could be sent to jail. HE is angry and frustated and wants to fight his ticket...I am just trying to LET GO AND LET GOD. As he ranted and raved abo...

omajoy · omajoy

Regardless of how much I am trying to use the tools and deal with my son, it is always something. Right now and for the past two weeks it is where he wants/needs/can live. Since his divorce( 2 years ago) and losing a beautiful home in that process, he has lived in motel rooms, an efficienty above a laund...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

In class today a large part was spent on alcoholics and recovery based methods. I was in tears a few times. Can't really explain why. Guess sometimes I just realize what I'm up against. The teacher mentioned staged intervention and thought it was a good thing, just really reccomended having profess...

jemimap · jemimap

Hi all, My partner is a member of AA and has been sober for five years. He has not drunk since we've been together, and I haven't been affected by his drinking. I would like to develop healthy thinking habits so I can support his sobriety, and that we can have a healthy life together. I've attended a couple...

Aloha · Aloha

In my desparation to ground myself and stop obsessing about everything I think my AH is doing wrong, I decided to read some of the materials on about.com found here: http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa010315a.htm I've only managed to get to Part 6 - Why Do They Stay, but so much of th...

gardengal · gardengal

One of my greatest (lets call it) "character defects" was constantly trying to analyze everything and everybody. I was in constant turmoil with my thoughts thinking way too hard on why people act the way they do, when clearly it was none of my business all along. But no, here I was trying to g...

glad · glad

NO doubt this will seem like a small silly question with so many people going through serious issues but I'm gonna ask it anyway since it has been on my mind for a while. A while back my A and I went to a "self help" type seminar which turned out to be a total disaster for our relationship since it w...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I just got a call from my daughter's school she needs, needs needs. This is the one who is constantly acting out. The teacher caught me on the phone and said she's probably going to fail and have to repeat the 3rd grade this year. She never does homework, she doesn't participate in class, etc. I am at m...

maresie · maresie

My one remaining cat Ruby is really having a hard time mourning her companion, Benny's passing. She cries a lot and goes into a panic when the dogs are out in the yard. Lately she's been wandering round the yard. I think she is looking for Benny. Thank goodness I am at place in my program where I can give her...

meagain · meagain

Tks for the sincere posts of you in regard to my anger issue with my sister. This morning my Sister DID call me--I was so excited!! She finally called to tell me about my sister-in-law. Well it was more DRAMA about our mom....I listened and then I did tell her I was hurt that she could not communiate to me...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

I just want to give a message of encouragement to anyone who is feeling like giving up and running for cover. Believe me, I know that feeling, I have been there and on many occasions I have been proved that I have been nearer to success than I have been to failure when I have experienced and felt the most lo...

needhelp · needhelp

My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is in rehab for the third time in 8 months. This last time he was out for two weeks and was drinking again within just a few days of being home. He then disappeared for about a week and a half and now went back in. I know that he is not being honest about things to me (I just found o...

meagain · meagain

I know I should not be angry-but I am. My Mom lives in the samw city as my sister. So My sister basically is my Mom's #l caregiver. Mom is 82 but is fine i her own home. My sis in my opinion is very co-dependent. Her 2 adult married daughters are always at her home, eating, laying around etc.. with their kids,...

Aloha · Aloha

Sheesh. Just now as I was reading some of the posts here, my husband finished up writing his separate check to pay rent. After he hands me his check, he asks. "So are we still going to keep our money separate or what?" I just said calmly... "Hmm. Yeah. For the time being." &qu...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Hi family, just a note of some thoughts and questions I have been having. I thought you might be able to help me out- I have been thinking about an earlier post from Maresie about merging and people-pleasing and I began to wonder: what would it look like NOT to merge and people please but still connect a...

maresie · maresie

Does anyone watch this show. I have started watching that and sometimes catch Intervention too. I find it really helpful in identifying traits that used to absolutely cement me to the A. I can also find myself in absolute hyper reactive mode of should could woulda about others. I am amused in some...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So Friday I'm at the restaurant getting ready to eat and the phone rings and it's him saying "what are you doing"... I'm about to eat lunch... mind you we were supposed to meet for lunch and I decided I wasn't going to call him back to schedule it and he never called me... So he says I just now go...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Something I think we can all be proud of within this family, is the fact that we accept how a person is feeling, where a person is at along their journey to recovery and let each other just be. At other times, we take each other by the hand and encourage each other, reaching out to keep each other from stumbl...

omajoy · omajoy

I am very upset right now because I just lost my temper big time with my son....had not done this for a few weeks and had been working so hard not to be drawn into things. But here we are. I am ashamed and embarrassed and my cheeks are actually burning, pulse still racing 45 minutes later, and not looking for...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Is anyone here familiar with PSI - I don't know what it stands for, but it basically involves large group awareness training. Lou

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I really need to see a list of what people have in their al-anon toolboxs. What al-anon tools do you have in your tool box? I am really just seriously getting into the practice of making program phone calls when I feel myself starting to plummet. so, here is my toolbox so far: 1.) attend as many face to fa...

kissers · kissers

My mother called me this morning. She doesn't see very well without her glasses. Last night, she made a salad and used a new salad dressing. When she was finished eating, she went to place the bowl in the dishwasher and noticed she had eaten her salad using her dog's bowl. She thought maybe the crunchy st...

ddub · ddub

Hello MIP family, I keep going some days only by the support and encouragement of this family. I know weekends can be tough for all of us so I thought I'd ask for a line of the week from all of you to review when I am detaching and trying to stay calm. As I take in something daily from al anon readings there s...

Aloha · Aloha

I'm just having a moody moment. Got off the phone with AH... he asked me to take him to the person's house where he's buying a moped during lunch. Fine. I'll take you. This whole time he's just chattering happily about doing this and that with the new moped, yadda yadda yadda... And all I can think abo...

cookie1971 · cookie1971

(((Family))) One of my weekly chores, is to fill the pill boxes for myself, my AH and my Mother in law. My AH is afraid to take his pills on days when he drinks. Before I started Al Anon, I was very controlling and would nag him about taking his pills every day because that way I would know he wasn't drinkin...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Due to the recent activity here in England caused by one of my prayers being misunderstood, and at the suggestion of round3, this is a serious request. I have a problem with sleeping because of the continual dizziness [Vertigo]. My meds have been changed and I am back at the doctors next week if there i...

Rakenjake · Rakenjake

Hi everyone, I found this group almost three months ago when my AH came home from work and asked for help. He had never gone a day without a drink for his entire adult life and had been an active user(morning drinker etc.) for the past few years. I was in active denial/protector mode myself...wonderin...

CJ098 · CJ098

Hi all, Thank you for the responses from the last post. Maybe I came off as a little strong, but I want to make it clear that I didn't set the alarm clock because it's not my responsibility to make sure he gets up to go to work drunk....... Anyways, I made a big mistake today. My AH has been drunk for so long,...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

Some time ago I admitted to myself and my Sponsor whilst taking my searching and moral inventory of myself that I did not always tell the truth and this has really been pressing on my conscience ever since I admitted this. Down the years my birthday, Christmas, Mother's Days, Get Well times have never b...

Heartbroken · Heartbroken

So in need to give you all a hug...and so in need to be hugged. Today is one of those days! however I am knocking it down to size. I am NOT GOING TO LET IT PULL ME DOWN. Instead I am handing out hugs and love to anyone who needs some genuine heartfelt loving hugs. Some come and get as much and as many as you like...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Am I jealous, insecure or both? (Preview) Well, the A called me last night from jail. He apparently has been written up 3 times in 24 hours. To hear him told, of course, it really is for nothing he did. Anyway, he may be in "lock down" for the next month - which would solve the whole answering the phone issue. My problem today is a react...	Codependent	8	554	Mar 6, 2008 by serendipity
	Help need advice ASAP (Preview) Mt AH and I have been together for 15 plus yrs.Hes been a hard core alcoholic for over a yr.Lost his job , cause he was too drunk to go in .I forced him to go to rehab in Dec.He was doing really wel, sober for 60 days.Thn the nite he came home for an overnite pass he got drunk.Now most guys would want to be "w...	MIDGET	10	356	Mar 6, 2008 by MIDGET
	Being emotionally available (Preview) There was not a source to quote this from. Thought it hit the nail on the head regarding the previous post of being close. *Are You Really Available?* One of the questions which often comes up in relationship work involves how available people are for a healthy relationship. As someone at a recent worksh...	kissers	2	326	Mar 6, 2008 by round3
	Should I have said yes I'll go with you? (Preview) I'll try to be brief since I've already mentioned most of this. but don't count on it! The major issue with my boyfriend "A" is (very hurtful situations have occured that focus around him not wanting to share his heart with me, including him "trusting" or befriending anoth...	glad	9	541	Mar 6, 2008 by Aloha
	Disappointment (Preview) It took me a mintute to figure out if that is what I was feeling...disappointed...and yes, it is....not in me, of course in him. He was just talking about getting some computer work done here at home and the guy doing it won't be available until after Mike is gone this afternoon. He's going to get a new tat...	JenniferN	6	364	Mar 6, 2008 by kissers
	update and thoink you (Preview) Thank you for your great responses. They made me giggle and feel warm. I bugged the massive mortgage company for seven hours. I had people all over trying to reach the two dept. supervisors I needed. I am not kidding. Finally a person said, I am tired of this, she was??? lol she said she was going to walk to...	debilyn	6	382	Mar 6, 2008 by maresie
	Thanks (Preview) I just wanted to say thanks to all of you for the replys. Since I've posted that, I have had time to think, serious time to think, and we did talk about it. I just wanted to spend time with him but didn't dwell on what I wanted or how I felt about it. I thought about the fact that he hasn't seen this particular fr...	JenniferN	1	340	Mar 6, 2008 by Jen
	Paranoia (Preview) I have been with my A for almost a year now, and over this past year I have kind of marveled at the fact that we are still together. I don't have the best track record with relationships. Except for being legally married for 5 years (separated 4 years), this is the longest relationship I've ever had!! E...	JenniferN	3	372	Mar 6, 2008 by maresie
	Resentments (Preview) I can't hear enough about resentments. I have so many of them. Most days, I still feel pretty numb. But when the numbness wears off a bit there they are. Filling me with rage and anger. I need to hear some ESH on what y'all do with your resentments. I do not want to be a bitter old woman who abuses others becau...	serendipity	8	448	Mar 6, 2008 by java
	mental clarity and decision making! (Preview) I have been thinking a lot lately about my capacaties for things. I have had various people in the house being sick including myself over the past few months and have been having to really push myself to make up time leading to working 14 hour fridays every week. After that I have to get up at 7 the next mo...	carolinagirl	4	534	Mar 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	Considering FL? (Preview) I noted in two posts yesterday ideas about moving to Florida. It is a great place to live for its climate. And that is very important to many people. Where I live is snowbird heaven...that season is from around December until end of March. Then they move back UP NORTH. It is also a huge crowded urban...	omajoy	3	298	Mar 6, 2008 by omajoy
	"BEING CLOSE" (Preview) A recent post brought up a great point, I thought. It was about the idea of "being close" to someone who is an A. What does it really mean to experience closeness? Is it even possible to have an experience of closeness with an A? I struggle with this a great deal with the A's in my life in relati...	Jean4444	20	658	Mar 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	Ever wonder if meetings work? (Preview) Went to a great f2f meeting today where I was given the opportunity to share what I felt. Tonight for the first time in several years I don't feel a terrible pain/ grief about my situation. I don't know if it will last as I am accoustomed to waking and going to sleep feeling like I need to "make a decisi...	glad	5	631	Mar 6, 2008 by Jerry F
	friggin frustrated (Preview) hi family, Most business obstacles do not get me to tears and frustration. About six months ago I wanted to do a loan mod.I had to put handicapped access things in my home.I need them for about 25% of my life right now. Most were outside. The Mortgage company made mistake after mistake. I called a lot bec...	debilyn	6	344	Mar 6, 2008 by nmike
	Nice having days where I don't think about it (Preview) Yesterday I just had a great day - didn't think about my AH and our problems at all. He seemed to be in the same frame of mind, so we actually had a decent evening together. No sulking, no "silent treatment", no residual anger permeating the atmosphere. Of course we both got tied up watching...	Aloha	3	417	Mar 6, 2008 by nmike
	Didn't realize (Preview) Maresie was posting recently about wanting someone to come and take her away, to protect her and make everything better. I just realized today that I have been wanting the same thing. I have been telling myself that I am not enabling my AH by not pitching in with our business. I tell myself that if I start...	babysteps	4	328	Mar 5, 2008 by Loupiness
	First AA Meeting HELP! (Preview) My boyfriend just went to his first AA meeting. Anyone have any suggestions on how to show support/ love, give enough space when he gets home? Okay nevermind I guess, he just walked in with AA book and some kind of coin in one hand and a six pack in the other- I am not kidding. Oh well back to focusing on only m...	glad	7	334	Mar 5, 2008 by JenniferN
	When I thought Al-anon was dumb.... (Preview) a couple years ago my dad told me that if I loved my AH and wanted to stay with him, then I should join Al-anon. I had no idea what al-anon was.... and I thought it could not help me. I had the idea that al-anon were for people who chose to stay in a relationship and were weak for doing it. I thought to myself,...	CJ098	7	676	Mar 5, 2008 by JenniferN
	Compulsion and Desire... (Preview) Hi folks I am looking at Compulsion and Desire and trying to work out where fear fits into these, ifindeed it fits at all. Compulsion suggests that I have no self control over something/need, I must have/do whatever, whereas Desire suggests that I do have self control and it is a yearning, a 'I would li...	Heartbroken	5	689	Mar 5, 2008 by Heartbroken
	FEELING POWERLESS AND HURTING.... (Preview) ((((((((((((((Guys))))))))))))) You might remember i had a relationship with someone a few weeks ago. And got scared and ended it because he was kind, caring, considerate, loving, and i had never experience that before from a guy. I have regretted it ever since. I hurt him, in a way i shouldn't hav...	ally	8	436	Mar 5, 2008 by Karilynn
	He calls after 8 years (Preview) My daughter's father called and left a message on my answering machine. He found out where we live and my phone number. It's been 8 years since I have seen or heard from him. The last time I saw him he was on drugs and drinking, was physically and verbally abusive. I had to get supervised visitation due to h...	kissers	9	582	Mar 5, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Will I stay strong this time? (Preview) I have no understanding of being scared of being close none at all I only see it as control and being mean and withholding. It hurts so much. I'm telling my A he can go this morning. 4 years of being loving, open, always wanting what's best for him and being told that I am the opposite (because of his progra...	glad	4	406	Mar 5, 2008 by Jean4444
	Doing his legwork (Preview) Well, I haven't been able to post for a while and I have missed you all! I don't know if you remember that I ordered a replacement keyboard for my laptop off ebay- well, the guy has disappeared and I am disputing the charge so still no computer at home. Also, my motor blew up in my Jeep last week- cannot eve...	Codependent	12	341	Mar 5, 2008 by Codependent
	Good Video of some of our characteristics as Al-Anon's (Preview)	John	1	522	Mar 5, 2008 by gardengal
	Not just the once; however I have a dicotomny. (Preview) Good afternoon family, When I first came here I thought that I would be walking the steps, just the ONCE. Now, almost six months later I realise that I will be walking them many times. It has also come as a complete surprise to realise that as a result of the moral and searching inventory of myself that I be...	Heartbroken	2	472	Mar 5, 2008 by Heartbroken
	March Business Meeting Minutes!! (Preview) March Business Meeting Minutes: MIP Business meeting, held March 2, 2008. Chair opened meeting with the Serenity Prayer 1st thing on agenda was the Secretary's report: February minutes were accepted as written. Next on Agenda was Treasury report: Dot was unavailable so it was tabled until...	serenity62	0	274	Mar 5, 2008 by serenity62
	Do I set the alarm clock? (Preview) Okay, I got home from school tonight and I have to be up at 5am to go to work. My AH goes to school too. He drinks on his breaks from class, because there is a liquor store in the same area the school is in. So, he left class early and I was already done, we left to go wait at the bus stop(we don't have a car). He...	CJ098	8	748	Mar 4, 2008 by concerned123
	Sobriety Statistics (the great debate) (Preview) I noticed that Toby Rice Drews, author of the "Getting Them Sober" books, recently published the following summary of "sobriety statistics". I'm confident that Toby would have no issue with me re-posting this here, and also would agree that statistics such as these are tou...	canadianguy	14	6095	Mar 4, 2008 by SLS
	My solutions (Preview) The meeting with the counseling place went well last night, the girl and I were instant friends which usually results in better service (sorry to say but it's true). She was very supportive of me, reinforcing what all of you have said about me not being a horrible mother. She has said that they provid...	carolinagirl	10	317	Mar 4, 2008 by Tuggboat
	You're not gonna believe this..wait I forget who I'm talking to! (Preview) I was on the phone with the principal at the school trying to set up a morning meeting and my cell phone rings and it's the A. He calls to "thank" me for letting him see the kids yesterday and inform me that he slept on the beach last night - good thing it wasn't in the 30s as it has been lately - and t...	carolinagirl	11	574	Mar 4, 2008 by maresie
	Let go and let GOD.... (Preview) Having a rough night tonight....AH got his police report tonight on his OUIL, found out that he may be charged with more than a first offense, which means he could be sent to jail. HE is angry and frustated and wants to fight his ticket...I am just trying to LET GO AND LET GOD. As he ranted and raved abo...	tma0413	4	628	Mar 4, 2008 by tma0413
	It's ALWAYS something!! (Preview) Regardless of how much I am trying to use the tools and deal with my son, it is always something. Right now and for the past two weeks it is where he wants/needs/can live. Since his divorce( 2 years ago) and losing a beautiful home in that process, he has lived in motel rooms, an efficienty above a laund...	omajoy	8	329	Mar 4, 2008 by Jen
	Intervention on me intervening in AH (Preview) In class today a large part was spent on alcoholics and recovery based methods. I was in tears a few times. Can't really explain why. Guess sometimes I just realize what I'm up against. The teacher mentioned staged intervention and thought it was a good thing, just really reccomended having profess...	RainyJamie	4	475	Mar 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	partner of an AA member and grandchild of an alcholic - do I belong? (Preview) Hi all, My partner is a member of AA and has been sober for five years. He has not drunk since we've been together, and I haven't been affected by his drinking. I would like to develop healthy thinking habits so I can support his sobriety, and that we can have a healthy life together. I've attended a couple...	jemimap	11	584	Mar 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	Wow - this is a great read (Preview) In my desparation to ground myself and stop obsessing about everything I think my AH is doing wrong, I decided to read some of the materials on about.com found here: http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/info2/a/aa010315a.htm I've only managed to get to Part 6 - Why Do They Stay, but so much of th...	Aloha	5	570	Mar 4, 2008 by Codependent
	Do you try to over analyze people or events? (Preview) One of my greatest (lets call it) "character defects" was constantly trying to analyze everything and everybody. I was in constant turmoil with my thoughts thinking way too hard on why people act the way they do, when clearly it was none of my business all along. But no, here I was trying to g...	gardengal	9	893	Mar 4, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Would help so much to have feedback please (Preview) NO doubt this will seem like a small silly question with so many people going through serious issues but I'm gonna ask it anyway since it has been on my mind for a while. A while back my A and I went to a "self help" type seminar which turned out to be a total disaster for our relationship since it w...	glad	7	560	Mar 4, 2008 by Loupiness
	I'm at the end of my rope! (Preview) I just got a call from my daughter's school she needs, needs needs. This is the one who is constantly acting out. The teacher caught me on the phone and said she's probably going to fail and have to repeat the 3rd grade this year. She never does homework, she doesn't participate in class, etc. I am at m...	carolinagirl	19	746	Mar 4, 2008 by maresie
	Live and let live (Preview) My one remaining cat Ruby is really having a hard time mourning her companion, Benny's passing. She cries a lot and goes into a panic when the dogs are out in the yard. Lately she's been wandering round the yard. I think she is looking for Benny. Thank goodness I am at place in my program where I can give her...	maresie	3	287	Mar 4, 2008 by java
	RE"anger (Preview) Tks for the sincere posts of you in regard to my anger issue with my sister. This morning my Sister DID call me--I was so excited!! She finally called to tell me about my sister-in-law. Well it was more DRAMA about our mom....I listened and then I did tell her I was hurt that she could not communiate to me...	meagain	1	269	Mar 4, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	'I just want to give up and run for cover.' Believe me I know that feeling. (Preview) I just want to give a message of encouragement to anyone who is feeling like giving up and running for cover. Believe me, I know that feeling, I have been there and on many occasions I have been proved that I have been nearer to success than I have been to failure when I have experienced and felt the most lo...	Heartbroken	7	462	Mar 4, 2008 by Heartbroken
	honesty (Preview) My boyfriend is an alcoholic. He is in rehab for the third time in 8 months. This last time he was out for two weeks and was drinking again within just a few days of being home. He then disappeared for about a week and a half and now went back in. I know that he is not being honest about things to me (I just found o...	needhelp	6	384	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	Angry (Preview) I know I should not be angry-but I am. My Mom lives in the samw city as my sister. So My sister basically is my Mom's #l caregiver. Mom is 82 but is fine i her own home. My sis in my opinion is very co-dependent. Her 2 adult married daughters are always at her home, eating, laying around etc.. with their kids,...	meagain	5	411	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	I didn't take the bait (Preview) Sheesh. Just now as I was reading some of the posts here, my husband finished up writing his separate check to pay rent. After he hands me his check, he asks. "So are we still going to keep our money separate or what?" I just said calmly... "Hmm. Yeah. For the time being." &qu...	Aloha	10	706	Mar 3, 2008 by round3
	So, what do you do if you DON"T people please? (Preview) Hi family, just a note of some thoughts and questions I have been having. I thought you might be able to help me out- I have been thinking about an earlier post from Maresie about merging and people-pleasing and I began to wonder: what would it look like NOT to merge and people please but still connect a...	Jean4444	7	499	Mar 3, 2008 by Heartbroken
	Dr Drew show on VH1 (Preview) Does anyone watch this show. I have started watching that and sometimes catch Intervention too. I find it really helpful in identifying traits that used to absolutely cement me to the A. I can also find myself in absolute hyper reactive mode of should could woulda about others. I am amused in some...	maresie	3	1399	Mar 3, 2008 by maresie
	Update on Visit! (Preview) So Friday I'm at the restaurant getting ready to eat and the phone rings and it's him saying "what are you doing"... I'm about to eat lunch... mind you we were supposed to meet for lunch and I decided I wasn't going to call him back to schedule it and he never called me... So he says I just now go...	carolinagirl	8	324	Mar 3, 2008 by Aloha
	Something this family should be proud of... (Preview) Something I think we can all be proud of within this family, is the fact that we accept how a person is feeling, where a person is at along their journey to recovery and let each other just be. At other times, we take each other by the hand and encourage each other, reaching out to keep each other from stumbl...	Heartbroken	3	531	Mar 3, 2008 by canadianguy
	lOST IT AGAIN (Preview) I am very upset right now because I just lost my temper big time with my son....had not done this for a few weeks and had been working so hard not to be drawn into things. But here we are. I am ashamed and embarrassed and my cheeks are actually burning, pulse still racing 45 minutes later, and not looking for...	omajoy	10	417	Mar 3, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Anyone? (Preview) Is anyone here familiar with PSI - I don't know what it stands for, but it basically involves large group awareness training. Lou	Loupiness	3	284	Mar 3, 2008 by Heartbroken
	What's in YOUR toolbox? (Preview) I really need to see a list of what people have in their al-anon toolboxs. What al-anon tools do you have in your tool box? I am really just seriously getting into the practice of making program phone calls when I feel myself starting to plummet. so, here is my toolbox so far: 1.) attend as many face to fa...	Jean4444	10	5625	Mar 3, 2008 by Jen
	A Little Humor For Today (Preview) My mother called me this morning. She doesn't see very well without her glasses. Last night, she made a salad and used a new salad dressing. When she was finished eating, she went to place the bowl in the dishwasher and noticed she had eaten her salad using her dog's bowl. She thought maybe the crunchy st...	kissers	5	535	Mar 3, 2008 by cookie1971
	and here's the weekend........ (Preview) Hello MIP family, I keep going some days only by the support and encouragement of this family. I know weekends can be tough for all of us so I thought I'd ask for a line of the week from all of you to review when I am detaching and trying to stay calm. As I take in something daily from al anon readings there s...	ddub	6	427	Mar 2, 2008 by ddub
	Grahhhh. What about ME? (Preview) I'm just having a moody moment. Got off the phone with AH... he asked me to take him to the person's house where he's buying a moped during lunch. Fine. I'll take you. This whole time he's just chattering happily about doing this and that with the new moped, yadda yadda yadda... And all I can think abo...	Aloha	3	368	Mar 2, 2008 by soberthought
	AM I BEING CONTROLLING? (Preview) (((Family))) One of my weekly chores, is to fill the pill boxes for myself, my AH and my Mother in law. My AH is afraid to take his pills on days when he drinks. Before I started Al Anon, I was very controlling and would nag him about taking his pills every day because that way I would know he wasn't drinkin...	cookie1971	7	315	Mar 2, 2008 by soberthought
	Read any good books lately? (Preview) Due to the recent activity here in England caused by one of my prayers being misunderstood, and at the suggestion of round3, this is a serious request. I have a problem with sleeping because of the continual dizziness [Vertigo]. My meds have been changed and I am back at the doctors next week if there i...	Heartbroken	14	748	Mar 2, 2008 by Tuggboat
	light (Preview) Hi everyone, I found this group almost three months ago when my AH came home from work and asked for help. He had never gone a day without a drink for his entire adult life and had been an active user(morning drinker etc.) for the past few years. I was in active denial/protector mode myself...wonderin...	Rakenjake	5	468	Mar 2, 2008 by travors
	About to give up on him.... (Preview) Hi all, Thank you for the responses from the last post. Maybe I came off as a little strong, but I want to make it clear that I didn't set the alarm clock because it's not my responsibility to make sure he gets up to go to work drunk....... Anyways, I made a big mistake today. My AH has been drunk for so long,...	CJ098	4	476	Mar 2, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	Moral, immoral or just plain apathetic? (Preview) Some time ago I admitted to myself and my Sponsor whilst taking my searching and moral inventory of myself that I did not always tell the truth and this has really been pressing on my conscience ever since I admitted this. Down the years my birthday, Christmas, Mother's Days, Get Well times have never b...	Heartbroken	5	544	Mar 2, 2008 by Heartbroken
	HUGS TO SPARE...LOVE TO GIVE... (Preview) So in need to give you all a hug...and so in need to be hugged. Today is one of those days! however I am knocking it down to size. I am NOT GOING TO LET IT PULL ME DOWN. Instead I am handing out hugs and love to anyone who needs some genuine heartfelt loving hugs. Some come and get as much and as many as you like...	Heartbroken	3	411	Mar 2, 2008 by cookie1971
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.