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Taking a break
(Preview)
(((((((Family)))))), Just to let you know I am taking a small break from the board. Everything's ok. I have spent so much time taking care of hubby after his surgery this past year. (He would do the same for me.) I just need to concentrate on a few things. I am in the process of switching doctors to c...
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Karilynn
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5
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371
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How Do I handle money situation
(Preview)
This is my first post and I just joined a online group yesterday. I have a AH that I have been married to for 19 years. I am frustrated with the amount of money he spends from our account. I exported it today to see the amount on a weekly basis and it sickens me. I ordered the books recommended so I have not...
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raid3rgirl
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10
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638
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Would greatly appreciate support = feels useless!
(Preview)
okay, to be honest I have seen progress and to be honest I am acting like a butt because I want old stuff resolved and I feel down. Today ( right now ) I will go read some of my alanon stuff- try not to focus on if I should leave the relationship or not and try to get to work on time. I want to share with you guys that...
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glad
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3
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583
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Observing obsession in action.
(Preview)
Yesterday I actually got to watch two different people get caught up on the obsession loop.
The glorious thing about it was that I didn't join in - and on top of it, I recognized it for EXACTLY what it was and kind of laughed to myself quietly, thinking... "Oooooh. So THAT's what I must look like wh...
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Aloha
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6
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1152
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Set a boundary: watching it work
(Preview)
Hi guys, I am a few weeks away from returning to the general vicinity of where my AH lives. We will not be living together (thank god) but we will be within closer proximity. I am having a wide range of responses, as you can imagine. Just kinda riding it out, not reacting (or acting in any way), just observi...
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Jean4444
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5
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411
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feel like giving up
(Preview)
Hi all I am really happy I found this site. I have been attending meetings since Nov this programme has helped me more than I can say. I am still having probs picking up the phone so this site is a god send to me. Well heres my story. Been with my current partner for three years was with a compulsive gamble...
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Tracy
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6
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680
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New Kid on the block
(Preview)
Hi there, I am new to the group and would like to share my story. I have been married for 19 years and with my husband for 23 years. We met when I was 14 and he was 15. We had our first child at the age of 17 and it has not been easy. He has always drunk beer and when our 3 kids were younger I remember he drank mor...
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raid3rgirl
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1
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420
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It's okay not to get the dragon one.
(Preview)
Laugh out loud!! Had a busy day yesterday from morning after the Super Saturday AFG meeting thru some business then over to some service work at the assembly and then home. I called my wife and asked about the plans my Son and his wife had about kite flying. It was still on. I haven't flown a kite sinc...
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Jerry F
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11
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861
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He stood up his son tonight!
(Preview)
I think tonight was that "aha" moment for me. After so many crappy things that have happened over the past year with my A husband I think this probably made me finally face reality. The reality that I will probably be a single mom. Never in a million year would I have thought that I would be i...
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HopeinVA
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4
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522
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Mean, mean, mean
(Preview)
First a thank you to all who responded to my post about my feelings about my teen. When I shared them with my AH (last night, big mistake) he proceded to berate me, telling me I had "used" my son as an "asexual partner". I hate him. Why is he so mean to me? Did I use my son or did I devot...
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DeadOrAlive
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3
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373
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Not an alaonon thing but pissing me off (and I don't talk like that generally)
(Preview)
Ugggguh!! After staying up late last night we were looking forward to sleep,new neighbors just moved in yesturday and evidently have a big dog, that likes to bark, all the time. Woke us up last night. Had a very nice breakfast with our / woops my adult daugher, did a few little things around the house an...
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glad
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11
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1478
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KELLY CLARKSON...... SOBER
(Preview)
((((((((((((Guys))))))))))) Found this video, didn't know she had made this song, Is she and recovering A??? Anyone know...I think shes Fab!!! And I don't know This could break my heart or save me Nothing's real Until you let go complet...
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ally
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4
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401
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he's leaving, he's not leaving, etc.
(Preview)
my A. boyfriend is leaving me. or then again, he's not. i am so confused!!! he's always used "i'm leaving" more as a communication technique rather than a real statement of ending the relationship. problems with intimacy and commitment, he's said. for all the years we've been together he...
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sadako
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8
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539
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Does Love grow back?
(Preview)
When I first met my Husband, I looked into his eyes and knew that I wasnt supposed to be anywhere but right here. I felt that way for a long time, like our love, and our love alone could conquer anything. Slowly his drinking became heavier (or that I knew of anyway), I began to grow and realize what was reall...
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wishing13
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7
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1028
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Facing Reality, Fantasy/Illusion, and Owning our choices
(Preview)
Hi all, Sunday night's meeting topics were Facing Reality, Fantasy/Illusion, and Owning our choices. Here is my share :) I was flipping through the index of c2c (Courage to Change) last week trying to think of topics to offer to the group. And the first two jumped right out at me. The last one my wonderf...
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Mandy123
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3
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1024
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Now what?
(Preview)
Hi Friends, I hate that I am so scared, even though I know much of my fear is based on prediction and what could/will be, not fact. Had the perfect office manager, more than just experience and skill, she had been married to an addict/a. She refused to be an enabler for my AH. He made her crazy and she could...
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Loupiness
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9
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518
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Say what?!?
(Preview)
I was talking to my AH about his daughter attending birthday/slumber party. He mentioned that his daughter began the topic conversation of "pot" that one of the other children had said the parents were doing at the party. I was completely appaulled!!!! I have a severe NO TOLERANCE for d...
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Just For Now
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7
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461
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New here - had a bit of an epiphany today
(Preview)
Hi all. I am so grateful to have found this forum. I've recently come to the realization that my husband is a functioning alcoholic. In recent years, i have told myself, "he drinks too much" but because he never became abusive, never missed work, etc, I didn't think that could classify hi...
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roxymom
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4
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570
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Son Missing AH - What to do
(Preview)
I have a concern about balancing my need for distance from my AH and my 3 years olds need to see his father. I have mandated that he can only see our son at my house and he must be clean and sober when he does come. And he did conform for a while, but arrived at my house this last time *high* Guess my son will be...
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sdoody00
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9
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688
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What can I say?
(Preview)
Hmm... I feel pretty good today. I am struggling now with my mom. She just got home on Tuesday(4/1/) I really don't want her around me right now but she is my mom and I love her. She is also a member of Alanon as I have mentioned before. I just need to spend less time with her because when I am around her I alm...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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344
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Relationship ESH needed please
(Preview)
Ok here's my situation... I've known this man, not my A (actually he's not an A at all), I've known him for about 17 years...over half of my life...he and I've been in and out of relationships with each other the entire time we've known each other. He IS my best friend and I'm his. My problem is this: he want...
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JenniferN
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9
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568
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Sister in law died last night at 50
(Preview)
So now my niece is a 21 year old orphan! :( My MIL behaved very inappropriately to her and she had no adult support at all, sux to be 21 and the only adult in a room of much older people. But I digress, I was upset about something she had said to her and she said no, it's ok, when I had to work on that crew that pi...
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carolinagirl
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12
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627
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You will never comprehend this mystical being(my poem)
(Preview)
You will never comprehend this mystical being Life isn't always a fairy tale Life isn't all about fame There are those that cry out in pain There are things that are difficult to explain She seemed to be free,yet her heart told a different story that you can't see She is trapped within,suffocating hers...
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Lauren ashley
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3
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498
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Generational drunkeness!! Wow!
(Preview)
Last night I went to a sporting event (mortor cycle race) with the A father of my A Bf of 5 years (spouse, we are more committed than some marreid couples I know) anyway, I am very sad about the neglectful, shameful, horrible things that the father continues to justify with crazy stories. Like feeding m...
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glad
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4
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527
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A NEW DAY, A NEW SONG...
(Preview)
Dear (((((((((((family)))))))))))))))))).
Today I am grateful for the sunshine and immediately thought about all the beautiful things that have been happening to me since I started on this journey.
Today I looked at my little home and I am grateful that I can come and go in safety.
Today I am g...
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Suzannah
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4
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609
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Figured something out
(Preview)
Why I hate weekends now: My son (I realized with a shock) is now closer to 17 than 16! I have always done things with him on the weekends and now, well, he wants to be with his friends or on the computor talking to them. I can't stand being around my AH and used to also distract myself with work from my job, w...
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DeadOrAlive
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7
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369
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What a day!
(Preview)
Finally after many years of raising two daughters by myself, getting college classes in here and there where I could, today I took a campus tour of Hutchinson Community College and visited with the director of the Registered Health Information Technologist program. I start classes June 2, and ever...
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Tenderheartsks
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6
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472
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I'm a wreck!
(Preview)
My husband, who is a ward of the DOC in a special program for DUI offenders, was due to come home 4/24 and the DOC has decided to keep him another month. (that is actually good news to me!) Saturday morning I woke up with a fever of 104.6 and had to be treated for dehydration. Tested positive for the influ...
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grizmom
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11
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483
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Feeling so defeated....
(Preview)
Hello, this is my first experience with Al-anon. I have been urged to go by several people, but to be honest my first thought was, I dont have anymore time to spend on the topic of "drinking". I have been so frusterated, hurt, angry, and most of all resentfull towards my Husband. We have been t...
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wishing13
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11
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508
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PRAYERS NEEDED GUYS.....PLEASE
(Preview)
((((((((((((((GUYS)))))))))))))) I have a friend who has a lump on his side. He is awaiting test results, and is feeling very anxious and fragile. Could you all please keep him in your thoughts and prayers.. Thank You His name is Jon.... Your crazy Allygirl xx
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ally
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7
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412
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Need your wisdom
(Preview)
Hey all, My life is constantly changing. Long story husb addicted in and out of rehabs now told he cant come home. Drove him to rescue mission and 6 days out now calls and says hes not being fed "like a concentration camp" wanted me to pick him up. I know he has reached bottom, still love him (25 y...
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Prayforme
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5
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333
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Big and Nasties
(Preview)
Why is it that all the big and nasties come out in verbal argument when you really don't mean for it to? Something like out of a novel, where you turn the page and the evil 'deed' pops out in the book. My AH has a severe control issue...and has throughout our entire relationship. And I am not placing the co...
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Just For Now
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5
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528
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ANOTHER ONE PASSES ON -
(Preview)
The disease claims another. So tragic. He has gone.
Thank you everyone for your support and prayers. So my daughter has lost her Grandpa "Welly"; he died peacefully. Giving thanks for the wonderful nursing staff who made his passing as comfortable as they could.
Sad, f...
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Suzannah
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9
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568
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Two Years of Alanon and still no HP
(Preview)
I'm so discouraged. I've been in Alanon 2 years. I do everything I'm supposed to - regular meetings (3 times/week), have a sponsor, work the steps (I'm on #8 - my sponsor said I don't have to have an HP to keep going, only willingness to believe), make calls, take service positions, read every book rec...
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Lisa444
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14
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823
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((( Karilynn and Piper's Kitty )))
(Preview)
Happy Anniversary Karilynn & Hubby and Happy Birthday Piper's Kitty!
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tea2
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12
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728
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Reply to GG's post.
(Preview)
For some reason when I replied to GG's post they said it was too long! But of course I wanted to reply as I'm mouthy! ((((((((GG)))))), The list is too long but here are my favorites: 1. None of this is my fault. Goes back to the 3Cs. 2. Detaching from the A doesn't mean that you stop loving the person. 3. An a...
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Karilynn
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5
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530
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Cruel people
(Preview)
I need a 12-step program for dealing with some of the cruel people that I work with. It is so stressful to feel "under attack" by some of these people. My first reaction is a counter-attack (I lose my cool) and fight back. Then I feel horrible for stooping to their level. I need so badly to a...
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ESH
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7
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552
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WHAT A FEELING..
(Preview)
(((((((((((Guys)))))))))) A few days ago i took a huge gamble in putting my life story on show for everyone to see. I had considered this very carefully, i would be putting my family in the light, should i do that, did i have the right to do that. As usual i followed my gut instinct and went along wi...
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ally
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1
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309
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MY STORY........ALLYGIRL...
(Preview)
I was born in Glasgow, Scotland in April 1971. I was raised with my parents and one older sister, I am four years younger. We were like any other family in Glasgow at that time, we all had our own troubles, behind closed doors. I like to use the phrase Dysfunctional families. Life was normal for me I think,...
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ally
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5
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437
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Tonight's meeting
(Preview)
Hi all, I had something come up and I think I will be 30-40 minutes late for tonight's meeting. Just wanted to get the word out. See you all later tonight. Yours in recovery, Mandy
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Mandy123
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0
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264
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resentments are a choice but....
(Preview)
I had forgot and piggy backed this question onto Norwood's post about resentments are a choice too - how true the more I think about it. However, showing lower levels today of confidence, assertiveness and not worrying... (other days I do better & I am working on this) how do you deal with the &qu...
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ddub
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4
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564
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A new day.
(Preview)
(((((((((((Family)))))))), A very good morning to you all. Just wanted to update you all. I am feeling much better today. I decided to stay home yesterday for me, not for hubby. I called work and told them that I was feeling under the weather. So I vegged, watched my favorite West Wing Series (hey...
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Karilynn
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10
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364
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Suzannah dahling
(Preview)
ver are you ma dear friend? How are you and whatcha thinken bout? hoping you are on your path,love,debilyn
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debilyn
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1
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301
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Resentful at having to see my defaults!
(Preview)
Jeez this day has been full of hard knocks.
Didn't sleep well last night, so woke up on the tired side as it was, but didn't feel bad about myself.
Called my sponsor and that's when I think it all started. That dang reminder "so, when are you going to get to an open AA meeting this week?"
Do...
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Aloha
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2
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741
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anniversary of VTech shootings
(Preview)
Hard to believe but almost a year is upon us since the horrific tragedy at VTech. As I was scanning the message boards, I was recalling the reassurance you all gave me as I tried to comfort my friend. I haven't heard from her, I can't recall if she graduated, but God knows that the campus is probably geari...
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Tiger2006
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3
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515
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letting go of resentments
(Preview)
I found the secret (the one that works for me) to letting go of resentments. It is in truly owning my choices. When I have resented others it always came with a "but", or "I was forced to......", or "they did.......", etc. When I own my choices, there are no "bu...
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norwood
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3
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583
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Confusion, blame, excuses, help!!
(Preview)
I have a few questions. Please forgive me as I am still new to all of this. First, I am a little confused about the program. I have read about the 12 steps and the "family" disease. I have to be honest though, when I first read that we go through the 12 steps I was sort of confused because as I re...
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HopeinVA
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1
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596
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On a positive note!
(Preview)
There's this absolutely gorgeous drug rep that comes to my work every Wednesday and all the girls here are gaga over him. I have gotten little tidbits of information about him and heard everyone going on about him and kept saying call me when he comes next, introduce me, set me up!!! He's tall, same...
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carolinagirl
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11
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526
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Would this be bad?
(Preview)
I have mentioned before that I believe my ah's relationship with his g/f is an addiction, particularly now that he is not drinking/using. I came across a cell phone bill with 10 solid pages of text messaging. He has messages going back and forth all day long. According to our office manager, (or should...
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Loupiness
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10
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656
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Thanks ddub! Re:why is he so mean?
(Preview)
you wrote: How can anyone love and accept others until they can truely love and accept themselves? hmmm is that why he can say certain things and then just appear to sweep them under the rug? High expectations with no room for failure/ not seeing alot of love and acceptance growing up/ seeing lots and...
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glad
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2
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382
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You will never guess what!
(Preview)
Hi family, Ok ok some advertising for Sunday's evening meeting. And lol made ya look. Sunday's topics are: facing reality, fantasy/illusion, and owning our choices. Your hosts Paul aka norwood and myself aka to some as nutjob. Also please remember that the Sunday evening meeting begins a bit e...
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Mandy123
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1
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311
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anger/grief/failure?
(Preview)
Two weeks ago today my mom's funeral was just ending. Since that time I have been on the roller coaster. Flew home, saw spouse through unsuccessful surgery and now we have TWO more invasive surgeries on the calendar during next six weeks. I have moments flashing back on Mom's life....ho...
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omajoy
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9
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458
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WHY IS HE SOOO MEAN?
(Preview)
My son is an alcoholic! Why is he so mean and rotten to the core? He treats me like a piece of shit! He talks to me with no respect! Anything I say he has to argue with me, I am never right about anything in his opinion. I don't like being around him, he is very toxic. Has anyone experienced this behavior...
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roxygirl
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5
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726
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Just... blah today.
(Preview)
Feeling kind of blah today.
I don't like being reminded to do things that I kind of don't want to do. Talking with my sponsor this morning she was inquiring about when I'm going to get to the next open AA meeting.
Erm... shoot. Wasn't really planning on it this week was the thing. In any case, told her I...
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Aloha
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1
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358
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detaching from others
(Preview)
Detachment is huge for me because of the way I live and will have to continue to live for some time. This morning I was met at the back door (I live in the back of the house which means I am cut off from the others most of the time) by a roommmate who was irate about something. I was able to practice murphy's law w...
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maresie
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5
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289
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Taking my own inventory
(Preview)
My eyes were kicked open. Had to sorta sit back and think about what I am doing. With the disabilities I have it makes it almost impossible to leave home. Can either stand and work, keep moving, or lay down and be here. In that I believe I may have been over bearing with out meaning to. If anyone has felt I was...
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debilyn
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4
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756
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will I ever learn to keep the mouth shut?
(Preview)
Family, I know I know progress not perfection, but when will I stop letting my big mouth, red haired temper, and my pain getting the better of me? My normal child care provider is on vaction today and tomorrow. I asked hub, since he works nights, if her could help me out and parent our children while I am at...
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Mandy123
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9
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654
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All I want is peace..
(Preview)
(((Fellow Alanuts))) I've mentioned Eckhart Tolle's book "A New Earth" several times recently,. He has such insight and brings to light awareness of things I have struggled with in the past. This one was a forehead smacker for me..lol A simple concept So true, but something my thoug...
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Christy
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10
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577
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Things have been going good
(Preview)
I have not posted in a long time about what is going on in my life....which is a lot right now. First, my A son has not had a drink in 2 months...praise HP!!! In October I had gastric bypass surgery and have so far lost 75lbs. Today is my 6 month surgiversary. I feel great and would still like to lose about 25 mo...
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Gailey
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9
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725
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Help
(Preview)
I have been living with an alcoholic husband for 12 years. His mom passed away four years ago and since that time he has been very angry and violent. When he goes to AA, it only lasts for two or three months and then it starts all over again. We have a nine year together and I have a 15 year from previous mar...
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cinmgrier
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8
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447
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