The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Why does my AHsober do what he does? Why do I keep asking why? Because he is sick, sick, sick. My son in the military came this weekend. We had a family gathering for his baby girl; my four month old grandbaby. It was the first time our family and his girlfriend's family had met formally. He had told us on the phone that they had gotten married in the courthouse primarily so the mom and baby would get benefits. We encouraged them to make an official announcment to both families. It was a joyous occasion.
So after the clean-up and the wasn't that nice conversation, my AHsober says here are the revised divorce papers. Of course, I said what? He said I revised them and I have been to the courthouse, etc. At first I thought why now, he did this two months ago at another celebration - slips in the divorce papers. What kind of timing is that? I don't get it. Why is divorce so important to him? He hasn't lived with me in three years. He does what he wants, when he wants. How inappropriate. So I said just tell me what you want. (HP says why fight it, this is all about him). All I said was you have the wrong date for when we got married. What an idiot.
Nancy, Frustrating isn't it? The disease just doesn't like a really joyous day, does it? Sounds like you might have more peace when you are free of this divorce proceeding that he keeps stabbing you with.
You deserve serenity. You've worked very hard for it. Hang in there.
Let's see.... it could be avoidance of conflict and emotion (you know give it to you when you are distracted), convenience (hey, why make a second trip, he's already there), lack of social grace (that one speaks for itself) or just pure selfishness and stupidity. The possibilities are endless, and we will never know...
When my ah had our divorce papers printed up, it had my son's birthday wrong and our addresses/length of time at each all messed up. Huh?
My ah now wants to "put our divorce on hold" because he is discovering it is going to be expensive and inconvenient (as if there will be a good time). And, that only has to do with the initial stages. He has no idea what he's really in for. You'd think he'd have put a little bit of thought into it before having papers sent.
I am working hard on accepting that they just do, and it just is.
I'm so glad you had a nice family celebration. Have a good Sunday.
Blessings, Lou
-- Edited by Loupiness at 10:54, 2008-03-30
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
