|
|
Sponsor
(Preview)
How important is it to have a sponsor only I get alot of support off you guys. If it is very importent then maybe I will look into an online sponor for the time being. I cant really get to face to face meetings as they dont alow kids. What do you think guys
|
mum2leahnjosh
|
5
|
388
|
|
|
|
My Best Interest
(Preview)
I posted in the past about my A being in DOC (special program for felonly DUI - DOC Rehab). I mentioned that he had asked what he could do to improve our relationship and I said to "obey the parameters of probation"...he was supposed to come home April 24, but they petitioned to keep him longe...
|
grizmom
|
11
|
651
|
|
|
|
OK, THAT was scary!!!!
(Preview)
I'm up before dawn because we had a 5.4 eathquake!!! I live in Missouri!!! Not Califormia!! The epicenter was near the Indiana line so it was a pretty hefty shake. Thats two states away! It lasted about 15 seconds. According to the news there are roads closed because of debris. I got up right after it hap...
|
Christy
|
15
|
658
|
|
|
|
glad the pot was fir lined
(Preview)
Hi ((((everyone)))) Well I was on that darn pity pot with everything going on. I was thinking "why me"???? I had a very good friend say to me to remember that there are always people that are worse off than I am. Boy I wanted to kick him but he lives 3500 miles away . I got to thinking about what he h...
|
shadow1
|
6
|
568
|
|
|
|
The testing begins...
(Preview)
I think my HP must have felt I was ready for this...
Left my Al-anon meeting tonight, wanted to stop at the store to pick up some more soy milk. Tried calling AH twice to see if he wanted anything from the store but never got through.
Came home, and there he is, passed out on the couch with an empty beer bo...
|
Aloha
|
5
|
460
|
|
|
|
Glad I can still laugh
(Preview)
Alcohol has really made a presence in my family over the past couple of years, namely with my AH and my oldest brother. Well, this past weekend another family member was hit. My younger brother's partner had returned home from a night out. He then got a call from a friend asking for a ride home. So, sin...
|
Loupiness
|
4
|
576
|
|
|
|
Nothing went well today
(Preview)
Just checking in. Work sucks. Too dysfunctional. I keep giving, giving, giving and the dysfunciton just kills my spirit. Everyone out for themselves and the power is in the hands of idiots (my opinion). So I come home. I told myself that I would look at the divorce papers that my AHSober gave to me a coup...
|
nmike
|
5
|
583
|
|
|
|
5 Days Sobor
(Preview)
Its been 5 days since my A has had a drink. He is craving beer and eating and drinking as much suger as possible. He is a little cranky and has woken up feeling like he is "hung over". He has said he can go without beer but as soon as he has a taste he cant stop and yet still insists he doesnt have a prob...
|
mum2leahnjosh
|
7
|
372
|
|
|
|
surprised to be here =)
(Preview)
Hello, Well I am really surprised to be here =) But I am going to be "coachable" in life and try this out... I have never thought AlAnon would have anything to do with me- as I date a man with time in AA. He has 10+ years and is very very active in AA, very recovered, a speaker, sponsors men, who spon...
|
aBirdyToldMe
|
5
|
594
|
|
|
|
SLOGANS & other quotes/acronyms
(Preview)
I was urged to share acronyms, al-anon slogans & other sayings... some old, some new ~ food for thought. ~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~ ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! Listen And Learn ~ ~ Ke...
|
kitty
|
11
|
1718
|
|
|
|
Another one of those "AHA!" moments
(Preview)
I know recently I've been posting a lot about how impatient my AH has been lately.
Even yesterday, his impatience was just so huge. We went for a walk when I got home from work, and I had to change my clothing for the walk. Of course, AH was home all day yesterday, so he's in appropriate casual clothing to...
|
Aloha
|
4
|
608
|
|
|
|
For a Friend
(Preview)
Hello everyone, One of our long time Al-Anon MIP family members, Angel123 (Sharon) will be having surgery tomorrow, and she will be away from the computer for a little while. I was wondering if we could please send some extra prayers and support for her recovery during this time....
|
tea2
|
10
|
418
|
|
|
|
Working on me...
(Preview)
As many of you know I am FAT... not just a little fat but really fat. So I have decided to go back on the atkins diet and this time have decided to add in some exercising. So I am getting up an hour earlier (I love to sleep) and going down to the work out room in the morning and doing cardio on the treadmill for...
|
carolinagirl
|
9
|
446
|
|
|
|
the "other side"
(Preview)
Where I live, it's a really tough place to be an alcoholic (ok, not like any place is easy). The area I live in is world-famous for it's wine. Grape-growing is our agriculture and wine-producing is the staple of our economy. Wine is everywhere, and that is not an exaggeration. Parties, fund-raise...
|
Loupiness
|
3
|
324
|
|
|
|
life is unmanageable
(Preview)
I am still on step one two three after one year of leaving the A. My living situation is not good, my finances are bad, my health isn't the greatest - I had an awful asthma attack on the weekend. I am isolated and alone a lot. I am disorganized. I have few resources. In so many ways my life is not right but o...
|
maresie
|
4
|
432
|
|
|
|
Time heals all...
(Preview)
I remember in the beginning when I first escaped the chaos of living with an addict/alcoholic I had to be out all the time, stirring things up, looking for a new man, I THRIVED on the chaos and now it was gone!!! I didn't know what to do with myself. If you have ever quit smoking, it was a lot like that. A po...
|
carolinagirl
|
5
|
394
|
|
|
|
Emotional pain in recovery...
(Preview)
I've already done a lot of crying this morning, and I have no doubt I will do more. I don't know of any mother who doesn't have dreams for her children. I am no exception. In order to maintain any semblance of sanity, I finally let go and let God have my oldest daughter. This morning, I did the same...
|
Tenderheartsks
|
6
|
563
|
|
|
|
Fire :-(
(Preview)
As some of you know my A and I have split and I have filed for divorce. He and his sister bought a house together and they moved in the first part of Jan/08. Well by the end of march he had kicked her out. (I'm not sure how you kick someone out of their own house) so that left the A and our youngest son (13) livin...
|
shadow1
|
12
|
503
|
|
|
|
Newbie--hi
(Preview)
hello, I've come to this site because I am having trouble getting to f2f meetings and I need a place where others understand and listen. I know from the f2f meetings that we rarely offer advice, but rather share our experiences and allow our AA family to pick what is useful from our sharing I come from a w...
|
zodiac
|
4
|
425
|
|
|
|
Trusting HP
(Preview)
Is your trust in your HP today? Trusting in your HP is a decision we make just like we choose anything else in life. You chose what to wear today, you probably chose what you would have for breakfast, and you can choose to trust HP today, too! When you choose to trust YOUR HP, there is a peace that settles on t...
|
Gailey
|
8
|
488
|
|
|
|
doubt....
(Preview)
My HP has brought something to my attention. This is something I've known all my life but not something that I've ever really thought about in terms of looking for answers as to how to change this. Probably because of fear. Fear of rejection and failure but quite frankly that's all I've ever known beca...
|
seekingserenity
|
5
|
394
|
|
|
|
laurab
(Preview)
It is so great to see you back again. I have thought about you often. Gail
|
Gailey
|
1
|
314
|
|
|
|
confusing emotion
(Preview)
Thanks for all the wise responses I got to my "anger spin" post yesterday. Luckily, I am still sane enough to get it!! Logically and intellectually I do know that only I can take charge and clean up my act. I am trying. A huge TO DO list I made yesterday will keep me busy for several days or maybe...
|
omajoy
|
3
|
416
|
|
|
|
Party panic!
(Preview)
A mutual friend invited me and my A to a party where there will be drinking (maybe even drug use), and I really don't know what to do. I think it's insensitive for her, but I'm not really surprised. I said 'mutual friend,' but she's also one of his old drinking buddies. She's in denial of his problem (and he...
|
intothewoods
|
6
|
303
|
|
|
|
I don't want to want to help him!
(Preview)
I just got a message from my A. He's been renting a room in the next town and I let him see the kids when he's sober; I've been giving him rides to work, taking him to the laundromat occassionally, the grocery store, etc. He called Saturday afternoon and I missed his call - I was actually busy making cook...
|
lmw
|
10
|
641
|
|
|
|
accident with child=blessing??
(Preview)
Well, it finally happened.....With her newly given freedom to drink with no control from me, she drank herself stupid enough to have a small accident on the motorcycle with our 8 yr old daughter. I think [hope] it is a blessing in disguise as no broken bones...just a few gravel strawberries and bruis...
|
thaiexpat
|
7
|
351
|
|
|
|
Where do I start?
(Preview)
Hi all! I am new to this and would love any support. My husband (now of almost 16 years) I believe is an alcoholic and here is my story: We have been married almost 16 years. We have 3 children. I was 18 when we married and he was 22. We have had a fairly good marriage for the most part and I always say it would be t...
|
help4wife
|
18
|
729
|
|
|
|
the anger spin
(Preview)
I have been angry so long it somehow feels normal; my son and my spouse have been admonishing me all week about how I am just plain mad all the time and it shows in everything I do. I know it, I acknowledge it, I can't control it (yet). I have just tried thinking this all through to the point where it is making...
|
omajoy
|
9
|
549
|
|
|
|
AHHHHHH i need to talk to someone!
(Preview)
My mom just said that she hasn't been drinking for 2 weeks! AHHHH I.....I ....I need someone to talk to! Lanchas
|
Lanchas
|
7
|
2007
|
|
|
|
illusion of relationship
(Preview)
This is hard, I don't like it and kind of bummed out about it all. I probably worked too hard to make this my 2nd marriage work for the past 20+ years and all along my AH was unavailable as a workaholic & now an A or he just refused to participate in our relationship the way I hoped for. I can see this in h...
|
ddub
|
12
|
581
|
|
|
|
Apology to all
(Preview)
I thought that on this board, venting was an "OK" thing to do. That was one of the pros to this board--being able to vent any feelings....anger, sadness, joy, peace, etc. without any repercussions from our A or other persons in Alanon or here with MIP. Instead, one of my posts was altered a...
|
Just For Now
|
9
|
392
|
|
|
|
The impatient alcoholic
(Preview)
I'll preface this by saying it's definitely apparent my AH is going through some major issues right now with his disease.
Lately he's just been defensive, and in particular, impatient!
I left an example of his wanting to fix things "NOW" in another post.
Here I am tonight with yet an...
|
Aloha
|
5
|
409
|
|
|
|
Be careful what you ask - and be ready for the answers.
(Preview)
Whew.
After attending another AA speaker meeting tonight and talking with a fellow Al-anon member who attended the AA meeting, too, I found myself back in that conversation of "gee - I have NO idea what my AH is doing in regards to drinking. Is he working on staying sober, or is he drinking, just...
|
Aloha
|
5
|
711
|
|
|
|
Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised!
(Preview)
It's Monday night here and I am off to the hospital again in the morning for my ALL day PMP session. I am going to be having an early night i.e. off to after this. However, I thought I would just check in before hand to say: I have been resting and reading a lot of Al-anon in between my exercise sessions, and ca...
|
Suzannah
|
6
|
1256
|
|
|
|
what to do with the ANGER/SILENCE???
(Preview)
When you [we] let go of controlling the A and the A comes home drunk and does stupid [&dangerous] things....what should we do?/ I know that talking normally is out of the question when they are drunk, so I just ignore the A wife and go on with my own life. Then the day after...she is hungover and in p...
|
thaiexpat
|
10
|
821
|
|
|
|
What do Spiders and Alanon have in common?
(Preview)
Hi all, I was sitting here typing this morning and I saw a movement to my left. I looked over and it was a nice big ol' hairy spider. Ok so my initial reaction was to scream lol (I have seen a spider shudder from a scream of mine before), but I didn't. Something told me to just watch it. So I sat here watching the...
|
Mandy123
|
10
|
680
|
|
|
|
a stranger in a strange land
(Preview)
I'm an American expat living [for 6 yrs now] in a remote village in Thailand and [mostly happily] married with children [8&10yrs]to a Thai woman and she is what i call a 'binge drinker' in that she will occasionally [3 or 4 x a year] go off on a drinking binge and drink til stupid or drops or pukes. No...
|
thaiexpat
|
5
|
569
|
|
|
|
Need a kick in the butt
(Preview)
Hi all, What a day, what a week. Yesterday a co-worker of mine was fired. This was rather unexpected. Not the fact that she was, but the timing. There were reasons. I turned 30 today, and that is messing with my head. I don't know why really. Ok let's be honest. I am lonley. I miss my husband, but I miss the il...
|
Mandy123
|
12
|
559
|
|
|
|
Hi All
(Preview)
Haven't posted in a while, but have been reading some books. One is When You Love Them More Than They Love You- Overcoming Codependency in Relationships. A Great Read.
Well, the A is out of solitary and has resumed calling. I try not to answer every call, but for whatever reason feel stressed watching...
|
Codependent
|
11
|
411
|
|
|
|
Finally A is leaving
(Preview)
After two years, almost, of marriage, and one year of not working, I finally asked the A to leave. This was not easy as I had asked before and he refused. He had even physically made me stay in the house when I wanted to leave, I had been able to file an ex-parte on him last year but the responsibliliteis of th...
|
java
|
8
|
539
|
|
|
|
binge drinking = alcoholic???
(Preview)
Hi All, I'm new to this board and as my 'handle' implies, I'm an american expat living in Thailand and married to a Thai woman who is an occasional [3-4x/year] and when she does drink, she drinks until she pukes or drops. Otherwise she is a good wife and mother, but these "occasions" have don...
|
thaiexpat
|
9
|
706
|
|
|
|
Question? JADE
(Preview)
I noticed that there is an abbrev. for Justify Argue Defend Explain JADE So therefore it must be an issue talked about in Alanon. Can anyone give me a view on this... the reason I ask is my A simply will not explain anything, justify anything or defend himself or an issue..he argues but it's kinda wild.. n...
|
glad
|
9
|
3097
|
|
|
|
Friend's Dad Update
(Preview)
Just to let you all know my friend's dad is doing TONS better. He's off the ventilator and complaining because his kids took off work and came down there to see him. SO...he's doing GOOD! The step-mom is awake and her heart rate is rising, when it get's to where it should be, they'll do MRI's and CT scans....
|
JenniferN
|
6
|
279
|
|
|
|
He is my son, always
(Preview)
Hello, I haven't been posting, just lurking here for over 6 months, but I am back. I saw a therapist for a while, and joined a therapy group and both were helpful up to a point. I have accepted intellectually that I can't help my A son get sober, but he is in my head so much of the time, especially now that he en...
|
laurab
|
9
|
458
|
|
|
|
when, what and how to control??
(Preview)
I get a little confused by this 'control' thing. I have recently been enlightened by this great forum on the issue of not controlling my binge drinking wife [as previously posted 'stranger in a strange land'] and if anything, I now feel more at ease and even witnessed her moderate drinking last night...
|
thaiexpat
|
5
|
564
|
|
|
|
We learn, we grow, we stumble we fall!
(Preview)
I tried to post this early this morning but don't think it did so Forgive me if it shows up twice!! Love ya'll!!!! Realized some of my extream negative feelings Friday night were due to my needing a BControl shot (which is just strong harmones) I missed my reagualr appointment and can't get one till Ma...
|
glad
|
3
|
641
|
|
|
|
Blow up!
(Preview)
Had a big blow up tonight with AH. He thought about what we had discussed week or so ago and he decided he didn't need any help and thought I was exaggerating the problem. Afraid I lost my temper, but it gave me the courage to actually ask him to leave. OK. It was out. Please leave. But he says no--its h...
|
BooBoo313
|
5
|
402
|
|
|
|
hope in despair
(Preview)
Hello family, The ride is up and down but feel some calm at the moment. I've been reading a lot of different sources and working on step 4. I came across this short reading on hope in despair to tuck in my pocket for the next harrowing ride so I wanted to share the bit that just grabbed me with a good feeling...
|
ddub
|
6
|
492
|
|
|
|
books
(Preview)
Hello! I am brand new here and wondered where I could get the books someone mention ODAT and Courage to Change? Thanks
|
julieabc
|
5
|
359
|
|
|
|
Checking In
(Preview)
Hi everyone, Forgive me if you get this post twice. Forgot to put a subject line and I don't think the first post worked. Anyway, just wanted to say "Hi". It's been a while since I posted last, been dealing with life, getting to face to face meetings and trying to focus on myself. It's been pret...
|
Rocky38
|
2
|
439
|
|
|
|
So glad I found ya'll! Still got a few questions...
(Preview)
Hi everybody! I am so glad that I found this forum! I was having a very hard time, wallowing in a black pit of depression/resentment/fear, using my anger at my A to hurt myself... and then I found this forum! Reading everyone's stories and advice really touched my heart (I was seriously crying in front o...
|
intothewoods
|
8
|
520
|
|
|
|
one year on new goals, new life
(Preview)
Next year it will one year since I moved out from the A. Not one year since I last spoke to him but one year since I took that irrevocable step of leaving him. I no longer feel grief stricken or rageful at the A. Certainly very angry but nothing like the rage I once felt. My life is far from comfortable but i...
|
maresie
|
6
|
548
|
|
|
|
From my head to my heart!
(Preview)
I am learning that I don't have to feel guilty about things other people do. Even if those things hurt me, My hurt's in life are not punishments because of my bad decisions (lovely little bit of religious thinking stuffed into my head growing up) I'm officially kicking that out of my head!! And may need...
|
glad
|
3
|
425
|
|
|
|
My friend needs your prayers please
(Preview)
Hello (((family))) The very good friend I spoke of in the other posts is needing prayers to your HP please. His father and step-mother were in a very bad motor cycle accident Friday in Mississippi and are in the hospital there. Here is what he said on our myspace bulliten board: Just to let everyone know...
|
JenniferN
|
1
|
442
|
|
|
|
oh my gosh! realized something
(Preview)
I've been posting and crying you all know that. Well it just dawned on me I may not have to struggle with the decision of staying or not alanon may do that for me... He seems angry I'm on this board right now. Slaming things around etc. Even though he said he didn't want to talk to me. ( and I have told him he ca...
|
glad
|
2
|
439
|
|
|
|
Amazing how many times ODAT applies to what I'm feeling
(Preview)
Well,
I wasn't able to get ahold of my sponsor last night. I left her a wacky message, though - but of course, she's an al-anoner, I'm sure it all made perfect sense to her whenever it is she got her message.
After the message, I sat down and meditated and prayed. Falling back to my usual fail-safe, &qu...
|
Aloha
|
5
|
668
|
|
|
|
Recovering from meeting
(Preview)
Dear Family, I just got back from an al-anon group therapy meeting. It is facilitated by a retired rehab counselor who also authored a book on addiction. I feel so hurt because he called on me (after someone shared how grateful they are for their husband)....and I shared how I felt a twinge of jealou...
|
glad lee
|
11
|
467
|
|
|
|
want to chat
(Preview)
can anyone tell me how to get into the chatroom have tried link on main page. I have also gone on link from sticky's post don,t seem to be able to aqccess it thanks
|
Tracy
|
1
|
374
|
|
|
|
The Shadow process
(Preview)
http://www.soulfulliving.com/the_shadow_process.htmEach of us must make the conscious choice to step out of the belief that we are victims of our lives and open up to the possibility that we have created our particular circumstances for a reason. We...
|
Christy
|
12
|
2542
|
|
|
|
Okay guys I'm not working it tonight!
(Preview)
Not as strong as some of my alanon friends. Don't know if I ever will be. Not as strong as the women I see here that have real issues like husbands cheating or beating them. Still feeling sorry for myself anyway. Tried to talk to BF tonight. Didn't go about it right for sure. But even if I had not sure the resu...
|
glad
|
3
|
492
|
|