Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

intothewoods · intothewoods

OK so the situation in a nutshell: My A fiance's A friends invited him and I to a party where there will be drinking. They tried to rope me into it by insisting that I "make him go if he doesn't want to." We talked it over and both decided that our recovery would be threatened by going to this party...

Aloha · Aloha

I was realizing today that I live an oxymoron. I'm constantly wanting to control the world around me, but when the world asks "okay, what do you want to do?" I'm standing there shuffling my feet, looking down murmuring "I dunno... what do YOU want to do?" Discovered that today...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Tonight's topics for the meeting where, "Principles Above Personalities and Attitude is a Choice". Here is my share, wanted to share it all again. These topics came to me last night after a very good friend of mine called me on B.S.He did it with love and he wasn't mean about it, but he...

laurab · laurab

Hello All, After all this time, I still can't figure out detachment. I haven't spoken to my A son in almost a week, since he called to tell me he had a 4 day binge after 5 months sober. No job. Lost his place to live. I didn't offer any help. Now I want to call him but I am scared. Scared of how miserable I will fe...

spirit · spirit

hi everyone. its been a while since i have been here. good day and not so good days. dont want to seem like i complain alot. but i have no one to go to. i hate saturdays when i am home. i work extra every other saturday. let me quote what i found on this bb "Guilt: family members begin to believe the alcoho...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I'm in the process of filling out a very short application for scholarships to college, and at the end of the application it asks for a personal statement where I am allowed to state any educational goals, accomplishments in my life, civic/social activities, etc. Talk about self doubt creeping in! W...

Tracy · Tracy

my stomache is churning my partner has disapeared again I try as hard as I can to keep myself busy and the focus on myself But he slept with someone else in Novemeber on one of his benders everytime he goes missing I am in turmoil I have probs with his drinking and how he lives his life but I can get past most of...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I have not posted in a long time but have often been back to read others posts and to try to figure out this crazy mess. I asked my A to leave last week, we were apart before and got back together to try to work things out, it lasted awhile, things were good....then it all started AGAIN, the lie...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I read tomorrow's entry today because I thought it was today But, I liked it. It related to my life right now. I've been back home with Michael for just over a week now, and although it hasn't been "perfect", it has been rather enjoyable. We have had a couple of disagreements. Stupid things, b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Seems the longer I go on this path, the more time I spend pondering things. This morning (day 2 of early wake up and exercise) I found myself asking myself why I had let myself get this way. Why am I so out of shape? Why am I fat? What is it that has allowed me to just "let myself go" ? I was alway...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I'm doing it again. Whenever things are getting good I sabatage it. I start wanting to isolate. I start wanting to withdrawl into a little cacoon because I am afraid. Afraid of what you may ask? The only thing I can think of is being vulnerable. Afraid because I am not hiding under guilt and shame I have ca...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

How important is it to have a sponsor only I get alot of support off you guys. If it is very importent then maybe I will look into an online sponor for the time being. I cant really get to face to face meetings as they dont alow kids. What do you think guys

grizmom · grizmom

I posted in the past about my A being in DOC (special program for felonly DUI - DOC Rehab). I mentioned that he had asked what he could do to improve our relationship and I said to "obey the parameters of probation"...he was supposed to come home April 24, but they petitioned to keep him longe...

Christy · Christy

I'm up before dawn because we had a 5.4 eathquake!!! I live in Missouri!!! Not Califormia!! The epicenter was near the Indiana line so it was a pretty hefty shake. Thats two states away! It lasted about 15 seconds. According to the news there are roads closed because of debris. I got up right after it hap...

shadow1 · shadow1

Hi ((((everyone)))) Well I was on that darn pity pot with everything going on. I was thinking "why me"???? I had a very good friend say to me to remember that there are always people that are worse off than I am. Boy I wanted to kick him but he lives 3500 miles away . I got to thinking about what he h...

Aloha · Aloha

I think my HP must have felt I was ready for this... Left my Al-anon meeting tonight, wanted to stop at the store to pick up some more soy milk. Tried calling AH twice to see if he wanted anything from the store but never got through. Came home, and there he is, passed out on the couch with an empty beer bo...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Alcohol has really made a presence in my family over the past couple of years, namely with my AH and my oldest brother. Well, this past weekend another family member was hit. My younger brother's partner had returned home from a night out. He then got a call from a friend asking for a ride home. So, sin...

nmike · nmike

Just checking in. Work sucks. Too dysfunctional. I keep giving, giving, giving and the dysfunciton just kills my spirit. Everyone out for themselves and the power is in the hands of idiots (my opinion). So I come home. I told myself that I would look at the divorce papers that my AHSober gave to me a coup...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Its been 5 days since my A has had a drink. He is craving beer and eating and drinking as much suger as possible. He is a little cranky and has woken up feeling like he is "hung over". He has said he can go without beer but as soon as he has a taste he cant stop and yet still insists he doesnt have a prob...

aBirdyToldMe · aBirdyToldMe

Hello, Well I am really surprised to be here =) But I am going to be "coachable" in life and try this out... I have never thought AlAnon would have anything to do with me- as I date a man with time in AA. He has 10+ years and is very very active in AA, very recovered, a speaker, sponsors men, who spon...

kitty · kitty

I was urged to share acronyms, al-anon slogans & other sayings... some old, some new ~ food for thought. ~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~ ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! Listen And Learn ~ ~ Ke...

Aloha · Aloha

I know recently I've been posting a lot about how impatient my AH has been lately. Even yesterday, his impatience was just so huge. We went for a walk when I got home from work, and I had to change my clothing for the walk. Of course, AH was home all day yesterday, so he's in appropriate casual clothing to...

tea2 · tea2

Hello everyone, One of our long time Al-Anon MIP family members, Angel123 (Sharon) will be having surgery tomorrow, and she will be away from the computer for a little while. I was wondering if we could please send some extra prayers and support for her recovery during this time....

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

As many of you know I am FAT... not just a little fat but really fat. So I have decided to go back on the atkins diet and this time have decided to add in some exercising. So I am getting up an hour earlier (I love to sleep) and going down to the work out room in the morning and doing cardio on the treadmill for...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Where I live, it's a really tough place to be an alcoholic (ok, not like any place is easy). The area I live in is world-famous for it's wine. Grape-growing is our agriculture and wine-producing is the staple of our economy. Wine is everywhere, and that is not an exaggeration. Parties, fund-raise...

maresie · maresie

I am still on step one two three after one year of leaving the A. My living situation is not good, my finances are bad, my health isn't the greatest - I had an awful asthma attack on the weekend. I am isolated and alone a lot. I am disorganized. I have few resources. In so many ways my life is not right but o...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I remember in the beginning when I first escaped the chaos of living with an addict/alcoholic I had to be out all the time, stirring things up, looking for a new man, I THRIVED on the chaos and now it was gone!!! I didn't know what to do with myself. If you have ever quit smoking, it was a lot like that. A po...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I've already done a lot of crying this morning, and I have no doubt I will do more. I don't know of any mother who doesn't have dreams for her children. I am no exception. In order to maintain any semblance of sanity, I finally let go and let God have my oldest daughter. This morning, I did the same...

shadow1 · shadow1

As some of you know my A and I have split and I have filed for divorce. He and his sister bought a house together and they moved in the first part of Jan/08. Well by the end of march he had kicked her out. (I'm not sure how you kick someone out of their own house) so that left the A and our youngest son (13) livin...

zodiac · zodiac

hello, I've come to this site because I am having trouble getting to f2f meetings and I need a place where others understand and listen. I know from the f2f meetings that we rarely offer advice, but rather share our experiences and allow our AA family to pick what is useful from our sharing I come from a w...

Gailey · Gailey

Is your trust in your HP today? Trusting in your HP is a decision we make just like we choose anything else in life. You chose what to wear today, you probably chose what you would have for breakfast, and you can choose to trust HP today, too! When you choose to trust YOUR HP, there is a peace that settles on t...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

My HP has brought something to my attention. This is something I've known all my life but not something that I've ever really thought about in terms of looking for answers as to how to change this. Probably because of fear. Fear of rejection and failure but quite frankly that's all I've ever known beca...

Gailey · Gailey

It is so great to see you back again. I have thought about you often. Gail

omajoy · omajoy

Thanks for all the wise responses I got to my "anger spin" post yesterday. Luckily, I am still sane enough to get it!! Logically and intellectually I do know that only I can take charge and clean up my act. I am trying. A huge TO DO list I made yesterday will keep me busy for several days or maybe...

intothewoods · intothewoods

A mutual friend invited me and my A to a party where there will be drinking (maybe even drug use), and I really don't know what to do. I think it's insensitive for her, but I'm not really surprised. I said 'mutual friend,' but she's also one of his old drinking buddies. She's in denial of his problem (and he...

lmw · lmw

I just got a message from my A. He's been renting a room in the next town and I let him see the kids when he's sober; I've been giving him rides to work, taking him to the laundromat occassionally, the grocery store, etc. He called Saturday afternoon and I missed his call - I was actually busy making cook...

thaiexpat · thaiexpat

Well, it finally happened.....With her newly given freedom to drink with no control from me, she drank herself stupid enough to have a small accident on the motorcycle with our 8 yr old daughter. I think [hope] it is a blessing in disguise as no broken bones...just a few gravel strawberries and bruis...

help4wife · help4wife

Hi all! I am new to this and would love any support. My husband (now of almost 16 years) I believe is an alcoholic and here is my story: We have been married almost 16 years. We have 3 children. I was 18 when we married and he was 22. We have had a fairly good marriage for the most part and I always say it would be t...

omajoy · omajoy

I have been angry so long it somehow feels normal; my son and my spouse have been admonishing me all week about how I am just plain mad all the time and it shows in everything I do. I know it, I acknowledge it, I can't control it (yet). I have just tried thinking this all through to the point where it is making...

Lanchas · Lanchas

My mom just said that she hasn't been drinking for 2 weeks! AHHHH I.....I ....I need someone to talk to! Lanchas

ddub · ddub

This is hard, I don't like it and kind of bummed out about it all. I probably worked too hard to make this my 2nd marriage work for the past 20+ years and all along my AH was unavailable as a workaholic & now an A or he just refused to participate in our relationship the way I hoped for. I can see this in h...

Just For Now · Just For Now

I thought that on this board, venting was an "OK" thing to do. That was one of the pros to this board--being able to vent any feelings....anger, sadness, joy, peace, etc. without any repercussions from our A or other persons in Alanon or here with MIP. Instead, one of my posts was altered a...

Aloha · Aloha

I'll preface this by saying it's definitely apparent my AH is going through some major issues right now with his disease. Lately he's just been defensive, and in particular, impatient! I left an example of his wanting to fix things "NOW" in another post. Here I am tonight with yet an...

Aloha · Aloha

Whew. After attending another AA speaker meeting tonight and talking with a fellow Al-anon member who attended the AA meeting, too, I found myself back in that conversation of "gee - I have NO idea what my AH is doing in regards to drinking. Is he working on staying sober, or is he drinking, just...

Suzannah · Suzannah

It's Monday night here and I am off to the hospital again in the morning for my ALL day PMP session. I am going to be having an early night i.e. off to after this. However, I thought I would just check in before hand to say: I have been resting and reading a lot of Al-anon in between my exercise sessions, and ca...

thaiexpat · thaiexpat

When you [we] let go of controlling the A and the A comes home drunk and does stupid [&dangerous] things....what should we do?/ I know that talking normally is out of the question when they are drunk, so I just ignore the A wife and go on with my own life. Then the day after...she is hungover and in p...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, I was sitting here typing this morning and I saw a movement to my left. I looked over and it was a nice big ol' hairy spider. Ok so my initial reaction was to scream lol (I have seen a spider shudder from a scream of mine before), but I didn't. Something told me to just watch it. So I sat here watching the...

thaiexpat · thaiexpat

I'm an American expat living [for 6 yrs now] in a remote village in Thailand and [mostly happily] married with children [8&10yrs]to a Thai woman and she is what i call a 'binge drinker' in that she will occasionally [3 or 4 x a year] go off on a drinking binge and drink til stupid or drops or pukes. No...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, What a day, what a week. Yesterday a co-worker of mine was fired. This was rather unexpected. Not the fact that she was, but the timing. There were reasons. I turned 30 today, and that is messing with my head. I don't know why really. Ok let's be honest. I am lonley. I miss my husband, but I miss the il...

Codependent · Codependent

Haven't posted in a while, but have been reading some books. One is When You Love Them More Than They Love You- Overcoming Codependency in Relationships. A Great Read. Well, the A is out of solitary and has resumed calling. I try not to answer every call, but for whatever reason feel stressed watching...

java · java

After two years, almost, of marriage, and one year of not working, I finally asked the A to leave. This was not easy as I had asked before and he refused. He had even physically made me stay in the house when I wanted to leave, I had been able to file an ex-parte on him last year but the responsibliliteis of th...

thaiexpat · thaiexpat

Hi All, I'm new to this board and as my 'handle' implies, I'm an american expat living in Thailand and married to a Thai woman who is an occasional [3-4x/year] and when she does drink, she drinks until she pukes or drops. Otherwise she is a good wife and mother, but these "occasions" have don...

glad · glad

I noticed that there is an abbrev. for Justify Argue Defend Explain JADE So therefore it must be an issue talked about in Alanon. Can anyone give me a view on this... the reason I ask is my A simply will not explain anything, justify anything or defend himself or an issue..he argues but it's kinda wild.. n...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Just to let you all know my friend's dad is doing TONS better. He's off the ventilator and complaining because his kids took off work and came down there to see him. SO...he's doing GOOD! The step-mom is awake and her heart rate is rising, when it get's to where it should be, they'll do MRI's and CT scans....

laurab · laurab

Hello, I haven't been posting, just lurking here for over 6 months, but I am back. I saw a therapist for a while, and joined a therapy group and both were helpful up to a point. I have accepted intellectually that I can't help my A son get sober, but he is in my head so much of the time, especially now that he en...

thaiexpat · thaiexpat

I get a little confused by this 'control' thing. I have recently been enlightened by this great forum on the issue of not controlling my binge drinking wife [as previously posted 'stranger in a strange land'] and if anything, I now feel more at ease and even witnessed her moderate drinking last night...

glad · glad

I tried to post this early this morning but don't think it did so Forgive me if it shows up twice!! Love ya'll!!!! Realized some of my extream negative feelings Friday night were due to my needing a BControl shot (which is just strong harmones) I missed my reagualr appointment and can't get one till Ma...

BooBoo313 · BooBoo313

Had a big blow up tonight with AH. He thought about what we had discussed week or so ago and he decided he didn't need any help and thought I was exaggerating the problem. Afraid I lost my temper, but it gave me the courage to actually ask him to leave. OK. It was out. Please leave. But he says no--its h...

ddub · ddub

Hello family, The ride is up and down but feel some calm at the moment. I've been reading a lot of different sources and working on step 4. I came across this short reading on hope in despair to tuck in my pocket for the next harrowing ride so I wanted to share the bit that just grabbed me with a good feeling...

julieabc · julieabc

Hello! I am brand new here and wondered where I could get the books someone mention ODAT and Courage to Change? Thanks

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Party panic, Part 2: mostly venting (Preview) OK so the situation in a nutshell: My A fiance's A friends invited him and I to a party where there will be drinking. They tried to rope me into it by insisting that I "make him go if he doesn't want to." We talked it over and both decided that our recovery would be threatened by going to this party...	intothewoods	7	375	Apr 20, 2008 by Jen
	For a "control freak", I sure don't like to make decisions (Preview) I was realizing today that I live an oxymoron. I'm constantly wanting to control the world around me, but when the world asks "okay, what do you want to do?" I'm standing there shuffling my feet, looking down murmuring "I dunno... what do YOU want to do?" Discovered that today...	Aloha	4	433	Apr 20, 2008 by lin0606
	Personalities above Principles? Nah! (Preview) Hi all, Tonight's topics for the meeting where, "Principles Above Personalities and Attitude is a Choice". Here is my share, wanted to share it all again. These topics came to me last night after a very good friend of mine called me on B.S.He did it with love and he wasn't mean about it, but he...	Mandy123	4	709	Apr 20, 2008 by Jen
	Detaching (Preview) Hello All, After all this time, I still can't figure out detachment. I haven't spoken to my A son in almost a week, since he called to tell me he had a 4 day binge after 5 months sober. No job. Lost his place to live. I didn't offer any help. Now I want to call him but I am scared. Scared of how miserable I will fe...	laurab	9	634	Apr 20, 2008 by Mobirdie
	I hate saturdays (Preview) hi everyone. its been a while since i have been here. good day and not so good days. dont want to seem like i complain alot. but i have no one to go to. i hate saturdays when i am home. i work extra every other saturday. let me quote what i found on this bb "Guilt: family members begin to believe the alcoho...	spirit	11	508	Apr 20, 2008 by spirit
	I could use some feedback (Preview) I'm in the process of filling out a very short application for scholarships to college, and at the end of the application it asks for a personal statement where I am allowed to state any educational goals, accomplishments in my life, civic/social activities, etc. Talk about self doubt creeping in! W...	Tenderheartsks	8	676	Apr 19, 2008 by nmike
	unacceptable behaviour (Preview) my stomache is churning my partner has disapeared again I try as hard as I can to keep myself busy and the focus on myself But he slept with someone else in Novemeber on one of his benders everytime he goes missing I am in turmoil I have probs with his drinking and how he lives his life but I can get past most of...	Tracy	3	476	Apr 19, 2008 by debilyn
	Back again (Preview) Hello All, I have not posted in a long time but have often been back to read others posts and to try to figure out this crazy mess. I asked my A to leave last week, we were apart before and got back together to try to work things out, it lasted awhile, things were good....then it all started AGAIN, the lie...	acjmom	8	492	Apr 19, 2008 by acjmom
	Tomorrow's Courage To Change Entry (Preview) I read tomorrow's entry today because I thought it was today But, I liked it. It related to my life right now. I've been back home with Michael for just over a week now, and although it hasn't been "perfect", it has been rather enjoyable. We have had a couple of disagreements. Stupid things, b...	JenniferN	3	646	Apr 19, 2008 by Jen
	Pondering (Preview) Seems the longer I go on this path, the more time I spend pondering things. This morning (day 2 of early wake up and exercise) I found myself asking myself why I had let myself get this way. Why am I so out of shape? Why am I fat? What is it that has allowed me to just "let myself go" ? I was alway...	carolinagirl	11	579	Apr 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Feelings Aren't Facts (Preview) I'm doing it again. Whenever things are getting good I sabatage it. I start wanting to isolate. I start wanting to withdrawl into a little cacoon because I am afraid. Afraid of what you may ask? The only thing I can think of is being vulnerable. Afraid because I am not hiding under guilt and shame I have ca...	seekingserenity	3	989	Apr 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Sponsor (Preview) How important is it to have a sponsor only I get alot of support off you guys. If it is very importent then maybe I will look into an online sponor for the time being. I cant really get to face to face meetings as they dont alow kids. What do you think guys	mum2leahnjosh	5	405	Apr 19, 2008 by Jen
	My Best Interest (Preview) I posted in the past about my A being in DOC (special program for felonly DUI - DOC Rehab). I mentioned that he had asked what he could do to improve our relationship and I said to "obey the parameters of probation"...he was supposed to come home April 24, but they petitioned to keep him longe...	grizmom	11	666	Apr 19, 2008 by kismetstrand
	OK, THAT was scary!!!! (Preview) I'm up before dawn because we had a 5.4 eathquake!!! I live in Missouri!!! Not Califormia!! The epicenter was near the Indiana line so it was a pretty hefty shake. Thats two states away! It lasted about 15 seconds. According to the news there are roads closed because of debris. I got up right after it hap...	Christy	15	675	Apr 19, 2008 by kismetstrand
	glad the pot was fir lined (Preview) Hi ((((everyone)))) Well I was on that darn pity pot with everything going on. I was thinking "why me"???? I had a very good friend say to me to remember that there are always people that are worse off than I am. Boy I wanted to kick him but he lives 3500 miles away . I got to thinking about what he h...	shadow1	6	590	Apr 19, 2008 by carosie
	The testing begins... (Preview) I think my HP must have felt I was ready for this... Left my Al-anon meeting tonight, wanted to stop at the store to pick up some more soy milk. Tried calling AH twice to see if he wanted anything from the store but never got through. Came home, and there he is, passed out on the couch with an empty beer bo...	Aloha	5	483	Apr 18, 2008 by lin0606
	Glad I can still laugh (Preview) Alcohol has really made a presence in my family over the past couple of years, namely with my AH and my oldest brother. Well, this past weekend another family member was hit. My younger brother's partner had returned home from a night out. He then got a call from a friend asking for a ride home. So, sin...	Loupiness	4	600	Apr 18, 2008 by maresie
	Nothing went well today (Preview) Just checking in. Work sucks. Too dysfunctional. I keep giving, giving, giving and the dysfunciton just kills my spirit. Everyone out for themselves and the power is in the hands of idiots (my opinion). So I come home. I told myself that I would look at the divorce papers that my AHSober gave to me a coup...	nmike	5	601	Apr 18, 2008 by maresie
	5 Days Sobor (Preview) Its been 5 days since my A has had a drink. He is craving beer and eating and drinking as much suger as possible. He is a little cranky and has woken up feeling like he is "hung over". He has said he can go without beer but as soon as he has a taste he cant stop and yet still insists he doesnt have a prob...	mum2leahnjosh	7	387	Apr 18, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	surprised to be here =) (Preview) Hello, Well I am really surprised to be here =) But I am going to be "coachable" in life and try this out... I have never thought AlAnon would have anything to do with me- as I date a man with time in AA. He has 10+ years and is very very active in AA, very recovered, a speaker, sponsors men, who spon...	aBirdyToldMe	5	613	Apr 17, 2008 by aBirdyToldMe
	SLOGANS & other quotes/acronyms (Preview) I was urged to share acronyms, al-anon slogans & other sayings... some old, some new ~ food for thought. ~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~ ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! Listen And Learn ~ ~ Ke...	kitty	11	1824	Apr 17, 2008 by paulaque
	Another one of those "AHA!" moments (Preview) I know recently I've been posting a lot about how impatient my AH has been lately. Even yesterday, his impatience was just so huge. We went for a walk when I got home from work, and I had to change my clothing for the walk. Of course, AH was home all day yesterday, so he's in appropriate casual clothing to...	Aloha	4	626	Apr 17, 2008 by Aloha
	For a Friend (Preview) Hello everyone, One of our long time Al-Anon MIP family members, Angel123 (Sharon) will be having surgery tomorrow, and she will be away from the computer for a little while. I was wondering if we could please send some extra prayers and support for her recovery during this time....	tea2	10	435	Apr 17, 2008 by bob6502
	Working on me... (Preview) As many of you know I am FAT... not just a little fat but really fat. So I have decided to go back on the atkins diet and this time have decided to add in some exercising. So I am getting up an hour earlier (I love to sleep) and going down to the work out room in the morning and doing cardio on the treadmill for...	carolinagirl	9	463	Apr 17, 2008 by carolinagirl
	the "other side" (Preview) Where I live, it's a really tough place to be an alcoholic (ok, not like any place is easy). The area I live in is world-famous for it's wine. Grape-growing is our agriculture and wine-producing is the staple of our economy. Wine is everywhere, and that is not an exaggeration. Parties, fund-raise...	Loupiness	3	339	Apr 17, 2008 by maresie
	life is unmanageable (Preview) I am still on step one two three after one year of leaving the A. My living situation is not good, my finances are bad, my health isn't the greatest - I had an awful asthma attack on the weekend. I am isolated and alone a lot. I am disorganized. I have few resources. In so many ways my life is not right but o...	maresie	4	451	Apr 17, 2008 by mum2leahnjosh
	Time heals all... (Preview) I remember in the beginning when I first escaped the chaos of living with an addict/alcoholic I had to be out all the time, stirring things up, looking for a new man, I THRIVED on the chaos and now it was gone!!! I didn't know what to do with myself. If you have ever quit smoking, it was a lot like that. A po...	carolinagirl	5	411	Apr 16, 2008 by Jean4444
	Emotional pain in recovery... (Preview) I've already done a lot of crying this morning, and I have no doubt I will do more. I don't know of any mother who doesn't have dreams for her children. I am no exception. In order to maintain any semblance of sanity, I finally let go and let God have my oldest daughter. This morning, I did the same...	Tenderheartsks	6	584	Apr 16, 2008 by Jean4444
	Fire :-( (Preview) As some of you know my A and I have split and I have filed for divorce. He and his sister bought a house together and they moved in the first part of Jan/08. Well by the end of march he had kicked her out. (I'm not sure how you kick someone out of their own house) so that left the A and our youngest son (13) livin...	shadow1	12	522	Apr 16, 2008 by cookie1971
	Newbie--hi (Preview) hello, I've come to this site because I am having trouble getting to f2f meetings and I need a place where others understand and listen. I know from the f2f meetings that we rarely offer advice, but rather share our experiences and allow our AA family to pick what is useful from our sharing I come from a w...	zodiac	4	443	Apr 16, 2008 by cookie1971
	Trusting HP (Preview) Is your trust in your HP today? Trusting in your HP is a decision we make just like we choose anything else in life. You chose what to wear today, you probably chose what you would have for breakfast, and you can choose to trust HP today, too! When you choose to trust YOUR HP, there is a peace that settles on t...	Gailey	8	505	Apr 16, 2008 by cookie1971
	doubt.... (Preview) My HP has brought something to my attention. This is something I've known all my life but not something that I've ever really thought about in terms of looking for answers as to how to change this. Probably because of fear. Fear of rejection and failure but quite frankly that's all I've ever known beca...	seekingserenity	5	411	Apr 16, 2008 by cookie1971
	laurab (Preview) It is so great to see you back again. I have thought about you often. Gail	Gailey	1	332	Apr 16, 2008 by laurab
	confusing emotion (Preview) Thanks for all the wise responses I got to my "anger spin" post yesterday. Luckily, I am still sane enough to get it!! Logically and intellectually I do know that only I can take charge and clean up my act. I am trying. A huge TO DO list I made yesterday will keep me busy for several days or maybe...	omajoy	3	433	Apr 16, 2008 by Jen
	Party panic! (Preview) A mutual friend invited me and my A to a party where there will be drinking (maybe even drug use), and I really don't know what to do. I think it's insensitive for her, but I'm not really surprised. I said 'mutual friend,' but she's also one of his old drinking buddies. She's in denial of his problem (and he...	intothewoods	6	321	Apr 16, 2008 by intothewoods
	I don't want to want to help him! (Preview) I just got a message from my A. He's been renting a room in the next town and I let him see the kids when he's sober; I've been giving him rides to work, taking him to the laundromat occassionally, the grocery store, etc. He called Saturday afternoon and I missed his call - I was actually busy making cook...	lmw	10	661	Apr 16, 2008 by aBirdyToldMe
	accident with child=blessing?? (Preview) Well, it finally happened.....With her newly given freedom to drink with no control from me, she drank herself stupid enough to have a small accident on the motorcycle with our 8 yr old daughter. I think [hope] it is a blessing in disguise as no broken bones...just a few gravel strawberries and bruis...	thaiexpat	7	367	Apr 15, 2008 by MIDGET
	Where do I start? (Preview) Hi all! I am new to this and would love any support. My husband (now of almost 16 years) I believe is an alcoholic and here is my story: We have been married almost 16 years. We have 3 children. I was 18 when we married and he was 22. We have had a fairly good marriage for the most part and I always say it would be t...	help4wife	18	749	Apr 15, 2008 by teapot
	the anger spin (Preview) I have been angry so long it somehow feels normal; my son and my spouse have been admonishing me all week about how I am just plain mad all the time and it shows in everything I do. I know it, I acknowledge it, I can't control it (yet). I have just tried thinking this all through to the point where it is making...	omajoy	9	569	Apr 15, 2008 by Christy
	AHHHHHH i need to talk to someone! (Preview) My mom just said that she hasn't been drinking for 2 weeks! AHHHH I.....I ....I need someone to talk to! Lanchas	Lanchas	7	2030	Apr 15, 2008 by maresie
	illusion of relationship (Preview) This is hard, I don't like it and kind of bummed out about it all. I probably worked too hard to make this my 2nd marriage work for the past 20+ years and all along my AH was unavailable as a workaholic & now an A or he just refused to participate in our relationship the way I hoped for. I can see this in h...	ddub	12	603	Apr 15, 2008 by Karilynn
	Apology to all (Preview) I thought that on this board, venting was an "OK" thing to do. That was one of the pros to this board--being able to vent any feelings....anger, sadness, joy, peace, etc. without any repercussions from our A or other persons in Alanon or here with MIP. Instead, one of my posts was altered a...	Just For Now	9	413	Apr 15, 2008 by maresie
	The impatient alcoholic (Preview) I'll preface this by saying it's definitely apparent my AH is going through some major issues right now with his disease. Lately he's just been defensive, and in particular, impatient! I left an example of his wanting to fix things "NOW" in another post. Here I am tonight with yet an...	Aloha	5	427	Apr 15, 2008 by Aloha
	Be careful what you ask - and be ready for the answers. (Preview) Whew. After attending another AA speaker meeting tonight and talking with a fellow Al-anon member who attended the AA meeting, too, I found myself back in that conversation of "gee - I have NO idea what my AH is doing in regards to drinking. Is he working on staying sober, or is he drinking, just...	Aloha	5	732	Apr 15, 2008 by intothewoods
	Before sunlight can shine through a window, the blinds must be raised! (Preview) It's Monday night here and I am off to the hospital again in the morning for my ALL day PMP session. I am going to be having an early night i.e. off to after this. However, I thought I would just check in before hand to say: I have been resting and reading a lot of Al-anon in between my exercise sessions, and ca...	Suzannah	6	1285	Apr 15, 2008 by Jen
	what to do with the ANGER/SILENCE??? (Preview) When you [we] let go of controlling the A and the A comes home drunk and does stupid [&dangerous] things....what should we do?/ I know that talking normally is out of the question when they are drunk, so I just ignore the A wife and go on with my own life. Then the day after...she is hungover and in p...	thaiexpat	10	841	Apr 15, 2008 by maresie
	What do Spiders and Alanon have in common? (Preview) Hi all, I was sitting here typing this morning and I saw a movement to my left. I looked over and it was a nice big ol' hairy spider. Ok so my initial reaction was to scream lol (I have seen a spider shudder from a scream of mine before), but I didn't. Something told me to just watch it. So I sat here watching the...	Mandy123	10	696	Apr 15, 2008 by carolinagirl
	a stranger in a strange land (Preview) I'm an American expat living [for 6 yrs now] in a remote village in Thailand and [mostly happily] married with children [8&10yrs]to a Thai woman and she is what i call a 'binge drinker' in that she will occasionally [3 or 4 x a year] go off on a drinking binge and drink til stupid or drops or pukes. No...	thaiexpat	5	591	Apr 15, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Need a kick in the butt (Preview) Hi all, What a day, what a week. Yesterday a co-worker of mine was fired. This was rather unexpected. Not the fact that she was, but the timing. There were reasons. I turned 30 today, and that is messing with my head. I don't know why really. Ok let's be honest. I am lonley. I miss my husband, but I miss the il...	Mandy123	12	576	Apr 15, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Hi All (Preview) Haven't posted in a while, but have been reading some books. One is When You Love Them More Than They Love You- Overcoming Codependency in Relationships. A Great Read. Well, the A is out of solitary and has resumed calling. I try not to answer every call, but for whatever reason feel stressed watching...	Codependent	11	429	Apr 15, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Finally A is leaving (Preview) After two years, almost, of marriage, and one year of not working, I finally asked the A to leave. This was not easy as I had asked before and he refused. He had even physically made me stay in the house when I wanted to leave, I had been able to file an ex-parte on him last year but the responsibliliteis of th...	java	8	556	Apr 15, 2008 by carolinagirl
	binge drinking = alcoholic??? (Preview) Hi All, I'm new to this board and as my 'handle' implies, I'm an american expat living in Thailand and married to a Thai woman who is an occasional [3-4x/year] and when she does drink, she drinks until she pukes or drops. Otherwise she is a good wife and mother, but these "occasions" have don...	thaiexpat	9	730	Apr 15, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Question? JADE (Preview) I noticed that there is an abbrev. for Justify Argue Defend Explain JADE So therefore it must be an issue talked about in Alanon. Can anyone give me a view on this... the reason I ask is my A simply will not explain anything, justify anything or defend himself or an issue..he argues but it's kinda wild.. n...	glad	9	3177	Apr 15, 2008 by glad
	Friend's Dad Update (Preview) Just to let you all know my friend's dad is doing TONS better. He's off the ventilator and complaining because his kids took off work and came down there to see him. SO...he's doing GOOD! The step-mom is awake and her heart rate is rising, when it get's to where it should be, they'll do MRI's and CT scans....	JenniferN	6	296	Apr 14, 2008 by carosie
	He is my son, always (Preview) Hello, I haven't been posting, just lurking here for over 6 months, but I am back. I saw a therapist for a while, and joined a therapy group and both were helpful up to a point. I have accepted intellectually that I can't help my A son get sober, but he is in my head so much of the time, especially now that he en...	laurab	9	474	Apr 14, 2008 by laurab
	when, what and how to control?? (Preview) I get a little confused by this 'control' thing. I have recently been enlightened by this great forum on the issue of not controlling my binge drinking wife [as previously posted 'stranger in a strange land'] and if anything, I now feel more at ease and even witnessed her moderate drinking last night...	thaiexpat	5	581	Apr 14, 2008 by maresie
	We learn, we grow, we stumble we fall! (Preview) I tried to post this early this morning but don't think it did so Forgive me if it shows up twice!! Love ya'll!!!! Realized some of my extream negative feelings Friday night were due to my needing a BControl shot (which is just strong harmones) I missed my reagualr appointment and can't get one till Ma...	glad	3	661	Apr 14, 2008 by Aloha
	Blow up! (Preview) Had a big blow up tonight with AH. He thought about what we had discussed week or so ago and he decided he didn't need any help and thought I was exaggerating the problem. Afraid I lost my temper, but it gave me the courage to actually ask him to leave. OK. It was out. Please leave. But he says no--its h...	BooBoo313	5	420	Apr 14, 2008 by lin0606
	hope in despair (Preview) Hello family, The ride is up and down but feel some calm at the moment. I've been reading a lot of different sources and working on step 4. I came across this short reading on hope in despair to tuck in my pocket for the next harrowing ride so I wanted to share the bit that just grabbed me with a good feeling...	ddub	6	514	Apr 14, 2008 by maresie
	books (Preview) Hello! I am brand new here and wondered where I could get the books someone mention ODAT and Courage to Change? Thanks	julieabc	5	376	Apr 14, 2008 by Mobirdie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.