Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

but, right now I am so hurt and so mad at the self righteous egotism of someone I love very much. She apologized but you know what? I'm still mad. I'm still hurt. I want her to hurt and be punished but I know that's the wrong attitude. I know I am powerless over her opinons. I know that I need to let it go especia...

Diva · Diva

Today, while stone sober, he called my older son a "silly bastard." All because my son gave me an idea on refinishing the woodwork in my living room that A hadn't thought about. My son restores interiors of old houses for a living, and there are certain things he knows and is readily willin...

maresie · maresie

I've had terrible allergies these past few weeks. Ended up staying home on Monday. I am in a lot of fatigue, isolation and stuck on many levels. At the same time compared to my life this time last year I've made progress. I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I keep getting waylaid by life events, bills, o...

intothewoods · intothewoods

I have started to notice that I'm neglecting my physical needs, like not eating enough and even not going to the bathroom until it's absolutely necessary. I just kind of forget. The not eating is very bad for me (blood sugar issues), but it keeps happening. I'm not obsessing over food or exercising all...

ally · ally

(((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) I've been in MIP over two years. I have made lots of wonderful friends, shared some of my experiences with you all. I feel I have been Involved in helping lots of people get started in their recovery. I have stayed with them, and continued to encourage and support th...

Aloha · Aloha

AH's family is out visiting with us this week. AH's brother is in AA - sober 4 years, AH's brother's friend is another AA member (not sure how long sober), and AH's mom, while not in Al-Anon, certainly is concerned about AH's drinking. Brother-in-law (BIL) isn't riding AH, but AH is acting like a lo...

lilms · lilms

((((Friends)))))) We have found out that my dear old girl has cancer. We are going to keep her home, love her up and cherish her until it is no longer humane to do so. Then we will sadly say good bye and do the right thing. Damn this is hard. Will fill her full of treats, play with all the favorite toys and...

Suzannah · Suzannah

The past has a habit of jumping up at me from time to time and taking a nip at my heel and that famous 'what if' and his friend 'if only' snap at me. What if often shows his face when I am reading others in the family who are working their programme whilst they are still in their marriage/partnership and are su...

lilms · lilms

((((((Mip Family)))) It has been awhile. Have had the computer from hell and have not been near one in I am not sure how long. It seems to be working for now so am able to catch up with you all. Our A went through a 35 day rehab and seemed to do fine for awhile. Ended up in hospital again not long ago and we alm...

Aloha · Aloha

On top of having his family out to visit, my AH is finally starting to feel the pinch of his compulsive spending habits. The last few days he's been complaining to me, "I only have $35 in my checking account!", and then "I only have $16 in my checking account!", and last night &qu...

rtexas · rtexas

(((((((Everyone)))))))) Someone dear to me sent this via email. Seems there are always days that people struggle with the difference between the acceptance of HP will, and the strength to carry that out. I really liked the message... thought I would pass it along. Will leave the reading up to you...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! This morning's Serenity on Sunday meeting was a monthly speaker meeting. The guest speaker was a woman that I have been blessed by watching her enter the program and work it as best she could for the last 7 years with the consequence that she now has a very solid personal recovery progra...

Tracy · Tracy

My head is so confused one minute I think love yourself get out of this relationship everyone around me who loves me is getting really fed up they are upset watching me not get my needs met and be so down its just not me But then he comes and tells me he loves me hugs me begs me he just does somethin to me I really...

Maria123 · Maria123

Hi family, Please help me congratulate our new Momma and welcome with the newest addition to our MIP family. Leetle had a baby girl this afternoon. Baby - Sariah Lynn was born at 3:48 pm weighing in at 6 lbs, 13 ozs. and 19" long. Both Momma and baby are doing fine, thank you HP yours in recovery, M...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have recently been going out on some very casual dates with some very nice men. Its been so simple and positive. It has helped me SO MUCH to see some things about my recovery, too, which I think others have mentioned here before but I just wanted to underline. By letting go of control, in a way, I feel mu...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Spent a harrowing day and evening with my daughter working on her 5th grade state report. It was assigned 3 wks ago, but she procrastinated until the middle of last week and it is due on Tues. I made a big deal about her getting it done since she has softball practice tomorrow afternoon and I have a meeti...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

My life is a sham. No matter where I go, there I am. I didn't mean for that to rhyme. No matter what I do or try to accomplish, I always come back to the same spot. Watching the clock, looking out the window. Watching the clock. Listening for the car. Making myself sick. Maybe I'll get lucky and tonight will b...

Maria123 · Maria123

<sigh> well as many of you know, I am an older college student who works FT 50+ hours per week and have been attending college for the last three years securing my associates degree and am now looking for another college to complete my bachelors in public administration. So I am down to the wire,...

marmare · marmare

First, I apoligized for any curse words that appeared in the last post, I didn't re-read it as I usually do....so sorry again. Well, my A is in full blown relapse, I don't know if that's the right wording since he never stopped drinking but was in a controlled state of drinking. He had left Saturday nigh...

ddub · ddub

I love being able to post here with revelations and questions. thank you all. I have been working on step 4 and felt comfortable about integrity/honesty and realized my self worth was about a zero. Spent some time on resentments and then doors started opening in my face. It's sort of like a hallwa...

CJ · CJ

((((AllyAllyAlly)))) Happy belated birthday!!!! I don't know how to do all the bells and whistles to make my computer screen light up, but you can trust that I jumped up and down a time or 2 for ya. Love ya, bean! In support and friendship always, cj

Songburd · Songburd

Hi Dale, Sorry, I haven't been available. Things are going well. God is everpresent and meets our needs. He's as near as your next thought. Trust him. I was looking for you earlier today at the meeting and have been flat out all day. I'll be around tomorrow night, Lord willin, and the creek don't r...

Lexie · Lexie

Hello ((((((((friends)))))))))) I feel like I have been so out of touch with most of you. I have not been on the board or in the room very much at all.....just pop in and out from time to time. I have been working on some issues of my own and am trying to find "myself" somewhere in the midst of i...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Ok so I have been on the diet 8 days and been doing the exercise for 6. I have lost 10 pounds from the time I returned from DC. I have a much easier time getting out of bed in the morning and am starting to look forward to the machine... I skipped the weekend because it was too hectic and I just didn't feel lik...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Good evening family! I have come to a stage in my recovery where I am beginning to feel comfortable with myself, which is wonderful and I therefore want to run some of my conclusions passed you. I hope you will not mind, and I would value your feed back, especially if any of the things I say resonnates wit...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

13 year old daughter has failed math all year. We all had a meeting a few weeks back about her making up time because she had mono and missed a lot of days. Come to find out (at this late hour) that if she fails math this time she will have to repeat the grade. She has 6 weeks left and has failed every test for...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I broached the subject of moving out of state with my daughter to her father, who isn't an A today. First, let me say that I felt empowered. I realized that he can only intimidate me if I let him. I realized that I have the right to ask for what I want and furthermore I realize the decision of me taking my daug...

Maria123 · Maria123

[[[[[ Haxi ]]]]]]], A very happy birthday to you!!! I hope you have a wonderful day and eat lots of yours in recovery, Maria

cookie1971 · cookie1971

((((Family)))) Many of you who know me have heard me say that my AH was 20 years sober, and started drinking again just last year. Until just today, I believed that to be true. I never knew how much my AH was drinking all along. He has never been sober at all, I just was totally unaware that he had been drink...

david62 · david62

Hi (((Family))) I got home yesterday from celebrating my 4 yr al-anon birthday. I did this with just over 100 of recovery brothers and sisters..and mom's and dads at the conference that my home group sponsors every April. We were at a new location this year for the first time. At a beautiful facility in...

angel123 · angel123

Thank you for your love and prayers,healing time.Love Sharon/angel -- Edited by angel123 at 14:37, 2008-04-21

JenniferN · JenniferN

It shouldn't get to me that my mother is the way she is, but it does sometimes. Just as A'ism is cunning and baffeling, so is the person who has lived with it in their lives their whole life and doesn't think there is anything wrong with them. I, of course, am speaking of my mother. Her ability to manipulat...

mon123 · mon123

Hi I hope you don't mind my asking this here. I go on this and other 12 step forums. I recently, through step 4, found out I have some codependant issues especially around my sibling family. I read Melody Beattie and go on a coda site. Its interesting to go through the early steps with them. My main focus is...

marmare · marmare

It's taken nearly a year but the other shoe dropped, it was a long drop, must have fell from a high shelf. My A, who has been in a controlled drinking state for I don't know how long has slowly slipped back into full drinking binge. I am working hard at not being the victim. Funny how different I see thing...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone thanks for your brilliant posts. I think it is about time I get myself off this merry go round my partner makes me promisies only to break them nothing ever changes for long. All his needs are getting met and none of mine. I feel quite ashamed for not taking better care of myself For looking to a...

grizmom · grizmom

My husband called last night. We haven't been good at communicating lately. Maybe I am the one unable to communicate...anyway, I told him I need more time. I need for us to live apart when he is released from DOC. He reponded with "I understand you're going through things, I am trying to under...

thaiexpat · thaiexpat

As mentioned in an earlier post, my Thai wife got into a small motorcycle accident with 8 yr old daughter while drunk [two days after i let go of control] and luckily it was just a few bruises and stawberries and hopefully a 'wake-up call'. She felt like xx for a few days and I'm sure felt even worse ever...

intothewoods · intothewoods

OK so the situation in a nutshell: My A fiance's A friends invited him and I to a party where there will be drinking. They tried to rope me into it by insisting that I "make him go if he doesn't want to." We talked it over and both decided that our recovery would be threatened by going to this party...

Aloha · Aloha

I was realizing today that I live an oxymoron. I'm constantly wanting to control the world around me, but when the world asks "okay, what do you want to do?" I'm standing there shuffling my feet, looking down murmuring "I dunno... what do YOU want to do?" Discovered that today...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Tonight's topics for the meeting where, "Principles Above Personalities and Attitude is a Choice". Here is my share, wanted to share it all again. These topics came to me last night after a very good friend of mine called me on B.S.He did it with love and he wasn't mean about it, but he...

laurab · laurab

Hello All, After all this time, I still can't figure out detachment. I haven't spoken to my A son in almost a week, since he called to tell me he had a 4 day binge after 5 months sober. No job. Lost his place to live. I didn't offer any help. Now I want to call him but I am scared. Scared of how miserable I will fe...

spirit · spirit

hi everyone. its been a while since i have been here. good day and not so good days. dont want to seem like i complain alot. but i have no one to go to. i hate saturdays when i am home. i work extra every other saturday. let me quote what i found on this bb "Guilt: family members begin to believe the alcoho...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I'm in the process of filling out a very short application for scholarships to college, and at the end of the application it asks for a personal statement where I am allowed to state any educational goals, accomplishments in my life, civic/social activities, etc. Talk about self doubt creeping in! W...

Tracy · Tracy

my stomache is churning my partner has disapeared again I try as hard as I can to keep myself busy and the focus on myself But he slept with someone else in Novemeber on one of his benders everytime he goes missing I am in turmoil I have probs with his drinking and how he lives his life but I can get past most of...

acjmom · acjmom

Hello All, I have not posted in a long time but have often been back to read others posts and to try to figure out this crazy mess. I asked my A to leave last week, we were apart before and got back together to try to work things out, it lasted awhile, things were good....then it all started AGAIN, the lie...

JenniferN · JenniferN

I read tomorrow's entry today because I thought it was today But, I liked it. It related to my life right now. I've been back home with Michael for just over a week now, and although it hasn't been "perfect", it has been rather enjoyable. We have had a couple of disagreements. Stupid things, b...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Seems the longer I go on this path, the more time I spend pondering things. This morning (day 2 of early wake up and exercise) I found myself asking myself why I had let myself get this way. Why am I so out of shape? Why am I fat? What is it that has allowed me to just "let myself go" ? I was alway...

seekingserenity · seekingserenity

I'm doing it again. Whenever things are getting good I sabatage it. I start wanting to isolate. I start wanting to withdrawl into a little cacoon because I am afraid. Afraid of what you may ask? The only thing I can think of is being vulnerable. Afraid because I am not hiding under guilt and shame I have ca...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

How important is it to have a sponsor only I get alot of support off you guys. If it is very importent then maybe I will look into an online sponor for the time being. I cant really get to face to face meetings as they dont alow kids. What do you think guys

grizmom · grizmom

I posted in the past about my A being in DOC (special program for felonly DUI - DOC Rehab). I mentioned that he had asked what he could do to improve our relationship and I said to "obey the parameters of probation"...he was supposed to come home April 24, but they petitioned to keep him longe...

Christy · Christy

I'm up before dawn because we had a 5.4 eathquake!!! I live in Missouri!!! Not Califormia!! The epicenter was near the Indiana line so it was a pretty hefty shake. Thats two states away! It lasted about 15 seconds. According to the news there are roads closed because of debris. I got up right after it hap...

shadow1 · shadow1

Hi ((((everyone)))) Well I was on that darn pity pot with everything going on. I was thinking "why me"???? I had a very good friend say to me to remember that there are always people that are worse off than I am. Boy I wanted to kick him but he lives 3500 miles away . I got to thinking about what he h...

Aloha · Aloha

I think my HP must have felt I was ready for this... Left my Al-anon meeting tonight, wanted to stop at the store to pick up some more soy milk. Tried calling AH twice to see if he wanted anything from the store but never got through. Came home, and there he is, passed out on the couch with an empty beer bo...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Alcohol has really made a presence in my family over the past couple of years, namely with my AH and my oldest brother. Well, this past weekend another family member was hit. My younger brother's partner had returned home from a night out. He then got a call from a friend asking for a ride home. So, sin...

nmike · nmike

Just checking in. Work sucks. Too dysfunctional. I keep giving, giving, giving and the dysfunciton just kills my spirit. Everyone out for themselves and the power is in the hands of idiots (my opinion). So I come home. I told myself that I would look at the divorce papers that my AHSober gave to me a coup...

mum2leahnjosh · mum2leahnjosh

Its been 5 days since my A has had a drink. He is craving beer and eating and drinking as much suger as possible. He is a little cranky and has woken up feeling like he is "hung over". He has said he can go without beer but as soon as he has a taste he cant stop and yet still insists he doesnt have a prob...

aBirdyToldMe · aBirdyToldMe

Hello, Well I am really surprised to be here =) But I am going to be "coachable" in life and try this out... I have never thought AlAnon would have anything to do with me- as I date a man with time in AA. He has 10+ years and is very very active in AA, very recovered, a speaker, sponsors men, who spon...

kitty · kitty

I was urged to share acronyms, al-anon slogans & other sayings... some old, some new ~ food for thought. ~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~ ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! Listen And Learn ~ ~ Ke...

Aloha · Aloha

I know recently I've been posting a lot about how impatient my AH has been lately. Even yesterday, his impatience was just so huge. We went for a walk when I got home from work, and I had to change my clothing for the walk. Of course, AH was home all day yesterday, so he's in appropriate casual clothing to...

tea2 · tea2

Hello everyone, One of our long time Al-Anon MIP family members, Angel123 (Sharon) will be having surgery tomorrow, and she will be away from the computer for a little while. I was wondering if we could please send some extra prayers and support for her recovery during this time....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I know 2 wrongs don't make a right... (Preview) but, right now I am so hurt and so mad at the self righteous egotism of someone I love very much. She apologized but you know what? I'm still mad. I'm still hurt. I want her to hurt and be punished but I know that's the wrong attitude. I know I am powerless over her opinons. I know that I need to let it go especia...	seekingserenity	7	492	Apr 24, 2008 by Jen
	The A has always resented my children... (Preview) Today, while stone sober, he called my older son a "silly bastard." All because my son gave me an idea on refinishing the woodwork in my living room that A hadn't thought about. My son restores interiors of old houses for a living, and there are certain things he knows and is readily willin...	Diva	21	767	Apr 24, 2008 by Maria123
	life is unmanageable but better (Preview) I've had terrible allergies these past few weeks. Ended up staying home on Monday. I am in a lot of fatigue, isolation and stuck on many levels. At the same time compared to my life this time last year I've made progress. I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I keep getting waylaid by life events, bills, o...	maresie	5	591	Apr 24, 2008 by Maria123
	Neglecting the body (Preview) I have started to notice that I'm neglecting my physical needs, like not eating enough and even not going to the bathroom until it's absolutely necessary. I just kind of forget. The not eating is very bad for me (blood sugar issues), but it keeps happening. I'm not obsessing over food or exercising all...	intothewoods	8	492	Apr 24, 2008 by Jen
	TIME TO MOVE ON FROM MIP.. (Preview) (((((((((((((Guys)))))))))))))) I've been in MIP over two years. I have made lots of wonderful friends, shared some of my experiences with you all. I feel I have been Involved in helping lots of people get started in their recovery. I have stayed with them, and continued to encourage and support th...	ally	16	902	Apr 24, 2008 by aunitedway
	WOW AH is definitely testing my resolve this week (Preview) AH's family is out visiting with us this week. AH's brother is in AA - sober 4 years, AH's brother's friend is another AA member (not sure how long sober), and AH's mom, while not in Al-Anon, certainly is concerned about AH's drinking. Brother-in-law (BIL) isn't riding AH, but AH is acting like a lo...	Aloha	9	1187	Apr 24, 2008 by round3
	Update on Update (Preview) ((((Friends)))))) We have found out that my dear old girl has cancer. We are going to keep her home, love her up and cherish her until it is no longer humane to do so. Then we will sadly say good bye and do the right thing. Damn this is hard. Will fill her full of treats, play with all the favorite toys and...	lilms	7	478	Apr 24, 2008 by Karilynn
	What if ... If only ... AGHHHH! Those doubts keep nipping at my heals ...OUCH! (Preview) The past has a habit of jumping up at me from time to time and taking a nip at my heel and that famous 'what if' and his friend 'if only' snap at me. What if often shows his face when I am reading others in the family who are working their programme whilst they are still in their marriage/partnership and are su...	Suzannah	15	661	Apr 24, 2008 by Jerry F
	Update and Missed You All!! (Preview) ((((((Mip Family)))) It has been awhile. Have had the computer from hell and have not been near one in I am not sure how long. It seems to be working for now so am able to catch up with you all. Our A went through a 35 day rehab and seemed to do fine for awhile. Ended up in hospital again not long ago and we alm...	lilms	6	652	Apr 24, 2008 by Jerry F
	AH is finally facing some consequences (Preview) On top of having his family out to visit, my AH is finally starting to feel the pinch of his compulsive spending habits. The last few days he's been complaining to me, "I only have $35 in my checking account!", and then "I only have $16 in my checking account!", and last night &qu...	Aloha	3	598	Apr 23, 2008 by nmike
	I always wanted to... (Preview) (((((((Everyone)))))))) Someone dear to me sent this via email. Seems there are always days that people struggle with the difference between the acceptance of HP will, and the strength to carry that out. I really liked the message... thought I would pass it along. Will leave the reading up to you...	rtexas	6	588	Apr 23, 2008 by shadow1
	Sunday Speaker Meeting (Preview) Aloha Family!! This morning's Serenity on Sunday meeting was a monthly speaker meeting. The guest speaker was a woman that I have been blessed by watching her enter the program and work it as best she could for the last 7 years with the consequence that she now has a very solid personal recovery progra...	Jerry F	4	545	Apr 23, 2008 by maresie
	self will (Preview) My head is so confused one minute I think love yourself get out of this relationship everyone around me who loves me is getting really fed up they are upset watching me not get my needs met and be so down its just not me But then he comes and tells me he loves me hugs me begs me he just does somethin to me I really...	Tracy	7	557	Apr 23, 2008 by maresie
	Leetle's New Baby Girl (Preview) Hi family, Please help me congratulate our new Momma and welcome with the newest addition to our MIP family. Leetle had a baby girl this afternoon. Baby - Sariah Lynn was born at 3:48 pm weighing in at 6 lbs, 13 ozs. and 19" long. Both Momma and baby are doing fine, thank you HP yours in recovery, M...	Maria123	14	684	Apr 23, 2008 by Suzannah
	ALL those years! (Preview) I have recently been going out on some very casual dates with some very nice men. Its been so simple and positive. It has helped me SO MUCH to see some things about my recovery, too, which I think others have mentioned here before but I just wanted to underline. By letting go of control, in a way, I feel mu...	Jean4444	6	498	Apr 23, 2008 by drucilla06
	Always a hero (Preview) Spent a harrowing day and evening with my daughter working on her 5th grade state report. It was assigned 3 wks ago, but she procrastinated until the middle of last week and it is due on Tues. I made a big deal about her getting it done since she has softball practice tomorrow afternoon and I have a meeti...	Loupiness	11	621	Apr 23, 2008 by maresie
	stuck in the middle with you (Preview) My life is a sham. No matter where I go, there I am. I didn't mean for that to rhyme. No matter what I do or try to accomplish, I always come back to the same spot. Watching the clock, looking out the window. Watching the clock. Listening for the car. Making myself sick. Maybe I'll get lucky and tonight will b...	RainyJamie	7	701	Apr 23, 2008 by maresie
	I am perfectly imperfect (Preview) <sigh> well as many of you know, I am an older college student who works FT 50+ hours per week and have been attending college for the last three years securing my associates degree and am now looking for another college to complete my bachelors in public administration. So I am down to the wire,...	Maria123	9	577	Apr 23, 2008 by maresie
	How many shoes can drop???? (Preview) First, I apoligized for any curse words that appeared in the last post, I didn't re-read it as I usually do....so sorry again. Well, my A is in full blown relapse, I don't know if that's the right wording since he never stopped drinking but was in a controlled state of drinking. He had left Saturday nigh...	marmare	7	618	Apr 23, 2008 by maresie
	more revealed (Preview) I love being able to post here with revelations and questions. thank you all. I have been working on step 4 and felt comfortable about integrity/honesty and realized my self worth was about a zero. Spent some time on resentments and then doors started opening in my face. It's sort of like a hallwa...	ddub	4	421	Apr 23, 2008 by maresie
	BIRTHDAY PARTY AT ALLY'S (Preview) ((((AllyAllyAlly)))) Happy belated birthday!!!! I don't know how to do all the bells and whistles to make my computer screen light up, but you can trust that I jumped up and down a time or 2 for ya. Love ya, bean! In support and friendship always, cj	CJ	3	412	Apr 23, 2008 by CJ
	One Day At A Time (Preview) Hi Dale, Sorry, I haven't been available. Things are going well. God is everpresent and meets our needs. He's as near as your next thought. Trust him. I was looking for you earlier today at the meeting and have been flat out all day. I'll be around tomorrow night, Lord willin, and the creek don't r...	Songburd	0	422	Apr 23, 2008 by Songburd
	Just wanted to say HI (Preview) Hello ((((((((friends)))))))))) I feel like I have been so out of touch with most of you. I have not been on the board or in the room very much at all.....just pop in and out from time to time. I have been working on some issues of my own and am trying to find "myself" somewhere in the midst of i...	Lexie	7	601	Apr 23, 2008 by mel123
	Day 6 (Preview) Ok so I have been on the diet 8 days and been doing the exercise for 6. I have lost 10 pounds from the time I returned from DC. I have a much easier time getting out of bed in the morning and am starting to look forward to the machine... I skipped the weekend because it was too hectic and I just didn't feel lik...	carolinagirl	3	411	Apr 23, 2008 by cookie1971
	What do you think? (Preview) Good evening family! I have come to a stage in my recovery where I am beginning to feel comfortable with myself, which is wonderful and I therefore want to run some of my conclusions passed you. I hope you will not mind, and I would value your feed back, especially if any of the things I say resonnates wit...	Suzannah	4	679	Apr 22, 2008 by Jen
	What I did today. (Preview) 13 year old daughter has failed math all year. We all had a meeting a few weeks back about her making up time because she had mono and missed a lot of days. Come to find out (at this late hour) that if she fails math this time she will have to repeat the grade. She has 6 weeks left and has failed every test for...	carolinagirl	7	609	Apr 22, 2008 by Jen
	no turning back now (Preview) I broached the subject of moving out of state with my daughter to her father, who isn't an A today. First, let me say that I felt empowered. I realized that he can only intimidate me if I let him. I realized that I have the right to ask for what I want and furthermore I realize the decision of me taking my daug...	seekingserenity	7	719	Apr 22, 2008 by maresie
	We have got us a Birthday Boy Today (Preview) [[[[[ Haxi ]]]]]]], A very happy birthday to you!!! I hope you have a wonderful day and eat lots of yours in recovery, Maria	Maria123	11	740	Apr 22, 2008 by aunitedway
	I realized something just today (Preview) ((((Family)))) Many of you who know me have heard me say that my AH was 20 years sober, and started drinking again just last year. Until just today, I believed that to be true. I never knew how much my AH was drinking all along. He has never been sober at all, I just was totally unaware that he had been drink...	cookie1971	10	749	Apr 22, 2008 by maresie
	Home again (Preview) Hi (((Family))) I got home yesterday from celebrating my 4 yr al-anon birthday. I did this with just over 100 of recovery brothers and sisters..and mom's and dads at the conference that my home group sponsors every April. We were at a new location this year for the first time. At a beautiful facility in...	david62	6	432	Apr 22, 2008 by maresie
	Thank You (Preview) Thank you for your love and prayers,healing time.Love Sharon/angel -- Edited by angel123 at 14:37, 2008-04-21	angel123	3	404	Apr 22, 2008 by Karilynn
	My Mother (Preview) It shouldn't get to me that my mother is the way she is, but it does sometimes. Just as A'ism is cunning and baffeling, so is the person who has lived with it in their lives their whole life and doesn't think there is anything wrong with them. I, of course, am speaking of my mother. Her ability to manipulat...	JenniferN	4	579	Apr 21, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Question for long timers (Preview) Hi I hope you don't mind my asking this here. I go on this and other 12 step forums. I recently, through step 4, found out I have some codependant issues especially around my sibling family. I read Melody Beattie and go on a coda site. Its interesting to go through the early steps with them. My main focus is...	mon123	6	786	Apr 21, 2008 by mon123
	The other shoe dropped! (Preview) It's taken nearly a year but the other shoe dropped, it was a long drop, must have fell from a high shelf. My A, who has been in a controlled drinking state for I don't know how long has slowly slipped back into full drinking binge. I am working hard at not being the victim. Funny how different I see thing...	marmare	3	802	Apr 21, 2008 by Karilynn
	getting off (Preview) Hi everyone thanks for your brilliant posts. I think it is about time I get myself off this merry go round my partner makes me promisies only to break them nothing ever changes for long. All his needs are getting met and none of mine. I feel quite ashamed for not taking better care of myself For looking to a...	Tracy	5	668	Apr 21, 2008 by glad
	Jedi Mind Tricks! (Preview) My husband called last night. We haven't been good at communicating lately. Maybe I am the one unable to communicate...anyway, I told him I need more time. I need for us to live apart when he is released from DOC. He reponded with "I understand you're going through things, I am trying to under...	grizmom	4	536	Apr 20, 2008 by debilyn
	ghosts of accident excorcised (Preview) As mentioned in an earlier post, my Thai wife got into a small motorcycle accident with 8 yr old daughter while drunk [two days after i let go of control] and luckily it was just a few bruises and stawberries and hopefully a 'wake-up call'. She felt like xx for a few days and I'm sure felt even worse ever...	thaiexpat	3	654	Apr 20, 2008 by debilyn
	Party panic, Part 2: mostly venting (Preview) OK so the situation in a nutshell: My A fiance's A friends invited him and I to a party where there will be drinking. They tried to rope me into it by insisting that I "make him go if he doesn't want to." We talked it over and both decided that our recovery would be threatened by going to this party...	intothewoods	7	478	Apr 20, 2008 by Jen
	For a "control freak", I sure don't like to make decisions (Preview) I was realizing today that I live an oxymoron. I'm constantly wanting to control the world around me, but when the world asks "okay, what do you want to do?" I'm standing there shuffling my feet, looking down murmuring "I dunno... what do YOU want to do?" Discovered that today...	Aloha	4	541	Apr 20, 2008 by lin0606
	Personalities above Principles? Nah! (Preview) Hi all, Tonight's topics for the meeting where, "Principles Above Personalities and Attitude is a Choice". Here is my share, wanted to share it all again. These topics came to me last night after a very good friend of mine called me on B.S.He did it with love and he wasn't mean about it, but he...	Mandy123	4	809	Apr 20, 2008 by Jen
	Detaching (Preview) Hello All, After all this time, I still can't figure out detachment. I haven't spoken to my A son in almost a week, since he called to tell me he had a 4 day binge after 5 months sober. No job. Lost his place to live. I didn't offer any help. Now I want to call him but I am scared. Scared of how miserable I will fe...	laurab	9	754	Apr 20, 2008 by Mobirdie
	I hate saturdays (Preview) hi everyone. its been a while since i have been here. good day and not so good days. dont want to seem like i complain alot. but i have no one to go to. i hate saturdays when i am home. i work extra every other saturday. let me quote what i found on this bb "Guilt: family members begin to believe the alcoho...	spirit	11	602	Apr 20, 2008 by spirit
	I could use some feedback (Preview) I'm in the process of filling out a very short application for scholarships to college, and at the end of the application it asks for a personal statement where I am allowed to state any educational goals, accomplishments in my life, civic/social activities, etc. Talk about self doubt creeping in! W...	Tenderheartsks	8	790	Apr 19, 2008 by nmike
	unacceptable behaviour (Preview) my stomache is churning my partner has disapeared again I try as hard as I can to keep myself busy and the focus on myself But he slept with someone else in Novemeber on one of his benders everytime he goes missing I am in turmoil I have probs with his drinking and how he lives his life but I can get past most of...	Tracy	3	581	Apr 19, 2008 by debilyn
	Back again (Preview) Hello All, I have not posted in a long time but have often been back to read others posts and to try to figure out this crazy mess. I asked my A to leave last week, we were apart before and got back together to try to work things out, it lasted awhile, things were good....then it all started AGAIN, the lie...	acjmom	8	587	Apr 19, 2008 by acjmom
	Tomorrow's Courage To Change Entry (Preview) I read tomorrow's entry today because I thought it was today But, I liked it. It related to my life right now. I've been back home with Michael for just over a week now, and although it hasn't been "perfect", it has been rather enjoyable. We have had a couple of disagreements. Stupid things, b...	JenniferN	3	747	Apr 19, 2008 by Jen
	Pondering (Preview) Seems the longer I go on this path, the more time I spend pondering things. This morning (day 2 of early wake up and exercise) I found myself asking myself why I had let myself get this way. Why am I so out of shape? Why am I fat? What is it that has allowed me to just "let myself go" ? I was alway...	carolinagirl	11	709	Apr 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Feelings Aren't Facts (Preview) I'm doing it again. Whenever things are getting good I sabatage it. I start wanting to isolate. I start wanting to withdrawl into a little cacoon because I am afraid. Afraid of what you may ask? The only thing I can think of is being vulnerable. Afraid because I am not hiding under guilt and shame I have ca...	seekingserenity	3	1107	Apr 19, 2008 by Jean4444
	Sponsor (Preview) How important is it to have a sponsor only I get alot of support off you guys. If it is very importent then maybe I will look into an online sponor for the time being. I cant really get to face to face meetings as they dont alow kids. What do you think guys	mum2leahnjosh	5	524	Apr 19, 2008 by Jen
	My Best Interest (Preview) I posted in the past about my A being in DOC (special program for felonly DUI - DOC Rehab). I mentioned that he had asked what he could do to improve our relationship and I said to "obey the parameters of probation"...he was supposed to come home April 24, but they petitioned to keep him longe...	grizmom	11	770	Apr 19, 2008 by kismetstrand
	OK, THAT was scary!!!! (Preview) I'm up before dawn because we had a 5.4 eathquake!!! I live in Missouri!!! Not Califormia!! The epicenter was near the Indiana line so it was a pretty hefty shake. Thats two states away! It lasted about 15 seconds. According to the news there are roads closed because of debris. I got up right after it hap...	Christy	15	766	Apr 19, 2008 by kismetstrand
	glad the pot was fir lined (Preview) Hi ((((everyone)))) Well I was on that darn pity pot with everything going on. I was thinking "why me"???? I had a very good friend say to me to remember that there are always people that are worse off than I am. Boy I wanted to kick him but he lives 3500 miles away . I got to thinking about what he h...	shadow1	6	693	Apr 19, 2008 by carosie
	The testing begins... (Preview) I think my HP must have felt I was ready for this... Left my Al-anon meeting tonight, wanted to stop at the store to pick up some more soy milk. Tried calling AH twice to see if he wanted anything from the store but never got through. Came home, and there he is, passed out on the couch with an empty beer bo...	Aloha	5	580	Apr 18, 2008 by lin0606
	Glad I can still laugh (Preview) Alcohol has really made a presence in my family over the past couple of years, namely with my AH and my oldest brother. Well, this past weekend another family member was hit. My younger brother's partner had returned home from a night out. He then got a call from a friend asking for a ride home. So, sin...	Loupiness	4	699	Apr 18, 2008 by maresie
	Nothing went well today (Preview) Just checking in. Work sucks. Too dysfunctional. I keep giving, giving, giving and the dysfunciton just kills my spirit. Everyone out for themselves and the power is in the hands of idiots (my opinion). So I come home. I told myself that I would look at the divorce papers that my AHSober gave to me a coup...	nmike	5	698	Apr 18, 2008 by maresie
	5 Days Sobor (Preview) Its been 5 days since my A has had a drink. He is craving beer and eating and drinking as much suger as possible. He is a little cranky and has woken up feeling like he is "hung over". He has said he can go without beer but as soon as he has a taste he cant stop and yet still insists he doesnt have a prob...	mum2leahnjosh	7	501	Apr 18, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	surprised to be here =) (Preview) Hello, Well I am really surprised to be here =) But I am going to be "coachable" in life and try this out... I have never thought AlAnon would have anything to do with me- as I date a man with time in AA. He has 10+ years and is very very active in AA, very recovered, a speaker, sponsors men, who spon...	aBirdyToldMe	5	706	Apr 17, 2008 by aBirdyToldMe
	SLOGANS & other quotes/acronyms (Preview) I was urged to share acronyms, al-anon slogans & other sayings... some old, some new ~ food for thought. ~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~ ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! Listen And Learn ~ ~ Ke...	kitty	11	2213	Apr 17, 2008 by paulaque
	Another one of those "AHA!" moments (Preview) I know recently I've been posting a lot about how impatient my AH has been lately. Even yesterday, his impatience was just so huge. We went for a walk when I got home from work, and I had to change my clothing for the walk. Of course, AH was home all day yesterday, so he's in appropriate casual clothing to...	Aloha	4	725	Apr 17, 2008 by Aloha
	For a Friend (Preview) Hello everyone, One of our long time Al-Anon MIP family members, Angel123 (Sharon) will be having surgery tomorrow, and she will be away from the computer for a little while. I was wondering if we could please send some extra prayers and support for her recovery during this time....	tea2	10	529	Apr 17, 2008 by bob6502
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