Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Lexie · Lexie

((((((((friends))))))))) My son's court case could not have gone any better today. He had a wonderful judge that is in recovery himself, so has a good understanding of what people go through that are trying to get their lives back on track. To me, that was God working. Anyway, my son will be done wit...

angel66 · angel66

I listen to everyone speak of their HP and how they leave things in their HP's hands etc but I have no understanding of the idea of a HP. I believe in God although (pity party) I feel like I"ve been dealt a really bad hand of cards during my life starting with a cancer diagnosis when I was 29 and leaving m...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Well... I am doing OK. I just wanted to check in. I hope everyone is having a wonderful 4th of July weekend. Trying to live one day at a time with plans for the future. Hopefully I don't end up projecting and ruining today. I just am so impatient and I want to get things done. Someone suggested writing...

Alaina · Alaina

A few months ago I met someone and since I have totally fallen head over heels for him. I met him while on vacation through my brother. We instantly clicked and it felt like we had known each other for years. I live 2,000 miles away from him but we have managed to keep a long distance relationship. I have eve...

maire rua · maire rua

Yes, today the fuel pump died just as we were returning from holidays, am having a run of having everything break together, have had to buy new washing machine and could have done without this expense, still I am trying hard to do a gratitude list, I have a spare car, so just need to transfer insurance on m...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Ok, I have taken some time out and decided that after writing about my marriage and the love of my life I have to face it and walk that fourth step through it to get to the other side and into the light of holistic healing. It is really scary to face your worst nightmare, walk with it for twenty so years and the...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just came back from the annual 4th of July joint AA/Al-Anon potluck get together at one of the members home and found a picture of perfection in the mail box. It reminds me of when we were at our very best and totally dependent. That scary perfection time. Yet how beautiful we all were and Ruby Blue get...

Becky1 · Becky1

Sunday, a week ago, AH and I took granddaughter, 7 months old, for a ride into the country, to a dairy farm/ice cream place. He was sweet and kind, helped with the baby, showed her the animals and gave her a taste of his ice cream. Gave her her bottle. She loves her Grandpa. We took lots of pictures that...

angel66 · angel66

Just in case anyone who I've talked to wants to know ~Jackie

jackie S · jackie S

Does anyone know how to change your username? I want to change it to the username I use in the chat room and dont know how. Of course I went to re register but since my email address is already in the system, it wouldnt let me do anything. Thx in advance

jackie S · jackie S

Just a quick question..................... Who deals with or handles it when you have problems on the site or your homepage? I've sent several emails out to mip for help without any response. I'm not getting my daily forum digests and dont know if I need to sign up a different way; I already did the mip e...

mslouise · mslouise

Hello- I am pretty new to Al-Anon and have been going for about 2 months now. My bf was going to have his 90 pin tomorrow, but he relapsed last night. He recently finished a program (his work held his job for him while he was completeing) and has been going to AA 2x week. Well, I came home last night and tol...

angel123 · angel123

Good Morning, I had so much on my goal list for camp, We are having a Pig Roast there is Holiday. As I was preparing food for our journey, making pig in a blanket with mini Hot dogs and crescent rolls, wrapped around them, also was making Mac and cheese with ham in it. Something come over me StopBreath.list...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

This post is about my stinking thinking. I was recently in a situation where I was going on nothing- no good information about anything. I was operating in the dark. And when I am operating in the dark: where do I go? Into the insanity of my disease: stinking thinking!!! I begin to 1.) doubt, 2.) expect th...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((((((Family)))))), To my American family: HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! To my International family: HAPPY WEEKEND! If you get the daily word from Hazelden, Melody Beattie's entry is on it today. It talks about celebrating independence, not only our nation's but independence from codependency and addi...

maresie · maresie

My last 6/7 4th of July holidays have all been spent trying to control an A who was out of control. Last year on 4th July I spent all my money trying to get the A off the street. Like always in my codependency I felt the effort would be appreciated (it never was but hope was something I held onto rigidly for a l...

lmw · lmw

It's officially after midnight here on the East Coast of the US, so Happy Fourth of July to all my MIP friends. My oldest daughter - my own little firecracker - turns 9 today which is so hard to believe! I just finished frosting the mandatory American flag cake we'll be sharing with my family later toda...

maresie · maresie

When I moved into the house I am in now I was really in a bind. I was desperate to get the dogs out from the A's care. So I didn't even consider the implications of what I was doing. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. When I moved in here there was a man here (he's still here) and he was plesant. Back...

kingston2902 · kingston2902

Well I'm back again - been reading up on the past posts, they have been so helpful -thank you. My conclusion is that I have a dry drunk for a husband. I sat down with him a few days ago and told him how I was feeling and what I needed to ensure that i felt better. In a nutshell he needs to find a job that will pay f...

JenniferN · JenniferN

Friday was his first sober birthday. It was wonderful to watch him receive his one year medallion and to hear the speaker's story and to feel the love of all the sober alcoholic's in one room. And for me it was bittersweet. My dad is an active alcoholic. While we were standing shoulder to shoulder and han...

stormie · stormie

As some of you might recall, my husband slipped up a few weeks back and had at least one drink. If a recovering alcoholic slips up and has even one drink, does that mean he or she has to start all over again counting the days, months of sobriety? Hubby keeps saying it will have his first sober birthday in A...

new member - Living with a recovering A · JohnInFL

We are mid fifties and have been down 25 years of hard road due to my wife's drinking. I am ACOA and codependent of course and drink next to nothing. Maybe 6 drinks/year. She has progressed from 6 beers/day to 18 beers/day, every day, over 30 years. Yes, I said 18. Her drinking has killed any relatio...

QOD · QOD

I have been divorced from my exAH since March 08. What an accomplishment for me. I have come so far in the last few years. I amazed at myself for all that I have done. Yet I am even more amazed by where I am still stuck!! By this I mean, I am still so very angry!! The anger helps me get the "must do's&q...

kingston2902 · kingston2902

I've been reading/lurking here for a while now. I'm in a situation now where I really need some feedback. My AH has been sober now for about 3 1/2 years. He doesn't go to AA anymore - he did regularly for the first year but now nothing. He also doesn't work. He has used all his savings/pension. He had this dr...

angel123 · angel123

Thank God morning, Remember this old saying some would say Good God morning or Thank God morning I am Thankful the spiritual Awaking I have bin experiencing. I have bin going to camp as you all know. This is where I am most able to learn how to calm me down for this time in my life. I have bin enjoying every mo...

glad · glad

I have realized this week that I really need to let go of "resentment" in order to feel happy. I need to find some answers- Higher Power can provide I know. I am not purposely holding on to things but since my way is to "discuss" feelings about things that happen and my A's is to sim...

jackie S · jackie S

I was just thinking after reading some messages and being in the meeting...........that my AH is active, with no desire to stop drinking. I neither have a AH in treatment , a sober AH, or a recovering AH . My AH doesnt want to stop drinking. He "doesnt have a problem". Its "not an issue...

be4yourii · be4yourii

Well, sooner came sooner than I thought it would. . . and it really was the last straw. I just dont understand this disease. THE GOOD: Im not really sure how things are going to work out, but I can not stay in this relationship. For the longest time I was holding onto hope, but now there is none left to hold on...

carosie · carosie

I'm feeling pretty sad today. Tomorrow I'm flying back east..my brother is dying. He's near the end of his life. He is only 55 yrs old. He is also one of my qualifiers. He has stage 4 liver cancer that has spread. My sisters and I will all gather and say our good byes. Please keep my family in your praye...

ddub · ddub

dear family, what a month of growth and gratitude for the al anon tools I have learned so far. Listen, think, my side of the street, say what I mean, let go & let God, embrace feelings, and prayers for all of you while I have been gone this month of June. I had expected to spend the 2nd week of June at a c...

maresie · maresie

I'm having to revise my expectations. When I stopped people pleasing, people were not singing from the roof tops. In fact a lot of them are downright unpleased that I have stopped doing for them what they need to do for themselves. They aren't exactly happy I stopped paying for everything or stopped t...

debilyn · debilyn

I am a Recovering addict and had the first 12 years of our marriage clean but had issues that went unattended and I eventually relapsed 10 years back and have had up and down off and on again slips and relapses. Every time there is an emotional crisis I hit the pipe and the bottle. 15 months ago I entered a re...

queenie105 · queenie105

It happened just as I thought it would! I knew he drank Monday night, and of course, yesterday, when I got home from working all day, found a note from him telling me he was going to a meeting and be home at 6:30. Well, it must have been some meeting! He was drunk as a skunk. I expected it (why would I expec...

meagain · meagain

My son and DIL refuse all my calls etc. and will now not let me see the grandkids. This has been going over 2 months. OK PLEASE I am pleading----I have a God box and put my letting go in there. It helped at first---but now I am in terrible aniexty, like I feel like I am having a heart attack. I guess I am taking G...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

The day before yesterday: While I was at work, AH took my two girls and one of thier friends to a movie and dinner. My daughter told me she saw three empty beer bottles at his feet when the movie was over. They went to a resteraunt where he ordered a white russian. When AH left the resteraunt, the owner calle...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I'm more than one year out from leaving the A. The issue for me is that there is still tremendous codpendency in me. I tend to try harder when people are obnoxious. I people please in my sleep. I catch myself doing it and the blame game and then get mad and lash out. I don't think I know what a &qu...

ESH · ESH

I watch this show a lot and I get a lot out of it. I like some of their sayings regarding an intervention. One of the things that they tell the family (during pre-intervention) to keep in mind as a support for the addict to accept help is: - There's nothing we won't do to help you get better - Ther...

laurab · laurab

This morning my XDIL called to say she was dumping my A son out in the street for all kinds of reasons. He has been with her for a week.I got right off the phone. Then I got 2 emails from my son, blaming her and saying he had to get away from her so he was going to be on the street 100 miles from here. I had a long stan...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

hi everyone. some of you know me and some dont. long story short...been in the program few years now. was with an alcoholic/crack addict for 8 yrs and magaged to leave him and get my life back. i was extremely happy and healthy. i was on top of the world. currently ive lost myself again. my life is falling...

mich8 · mich8

I am new to this board - I have read a few posts and love the way people share and support each other... I found this week that my son, age 16, has been using drugs for quite some time and it was right under my nose. I found an ADD drug all crushed up and ready to snort in his pocket while I was doing laundry. Whe...

Suzannah · Suzannah

((((((((((((Family)))))))))))) I am sharing this with you all as I have with my Sponsor, 'cos I need your help, your clarity, your thoughts on this craziness of mine. "...So trying to practise my OWN self confessed approach and letting go letting God this morning; and after a session of visual...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

Its incredible, the more I lean on HP, the less it matters what ANYONE does/doesn't do or says/doesn't say. I am taking things less and less personally with each passing month. The more I am gentle with myself, the more others are gentle towards me. The more I understand that we are each on our own journe...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, Sure feels like it sometimes. Just got off the phone with him - my AHSober. It takes us about 2 secs now to get into that circular conversation. I called to see if he could take the truck in for brakes and he says when are we going to sit down with the specifics about the divorce. He says you have...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Love the miracles in my life...feel so much is happening as I accept more and more of what is in my life. Not fighting my life as much these days, and I am sure that is something to do with Alanon and practising the programme and reading and writing and sharing with this ((((family)))). Nothing stays the s...

queenie105 · queenie105

AH has been sober now for about 10 days, since losing his job (of over 20 years) due to his drunkeness 3 weeks ago. I'm sorry to say I have not kept up with the enforcement of my own boundaries. When he lost his job, I told him I would not leave him if he got sober, went to 90 meetings in 90 days and remained s...

Diva · Diva

I have no knowledge of how the court system operates: A got arrested May 22nd for public intoxication. At that time he apparently appeared before a judge. He doesn't remember doing so, but the paperwork he brought home indicates that he did. At that time he was given the date of June 25th (yesterday) to...

junehouse · junehouse

I had tried to send this via private message a long time ago but it did not go through, I have had some trouble with sending intracomputer notes and usually have to cut and paste the email on my own email. I think it has something to do with my security computer system maybe? anyhoo below is the message fr...

Mabeleileen · Mabeleileen

I am done with it. I am done trying to be the only one trying to make our marriage work. I am done listening to him make drink after drink. I am done watching him drink. I am done watching how he is treating our wonderful children. I am done being treated like a child. I am done yelling. I am done crying. I am don...

AJ · AJ

The thought of taking care of myself is rather foreign. I always believed that you put other people's needs ahead of your own, and that if you thought about yourself for any length of time it was not a good thing to do. I'm sure I adopted this behavior from watching my mother who catered to my father's (and...

notsonew1111 · notsonew1111

just want some advice on dealing with another anon or codependent who is not an A

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I was asked in a PM to take the subject of "doing the opposites" out a bit further or to expand on what I had mentioned in a reply to a post earlier. In that post I had mentioned that I had learned "the opposites" from working with help from the program, sponsor and my th...

meagain · meagain

Thanks You to all of you for your prayers and concerns about the issue with my son and DIL. But mostly I need to thank my Higher Power-God is always in control and He is My Strength. My son called me tonite---yes we have issues to discuss-not on the phone he said, that's OK. I can see the grandkids and that...

Jen · Jen

Things have been going really well. I am hopeful, but still a bit reserved. AH had 10 months sober on the 27th and I told him last fall that I would not let him back in for at least a year. So our year is coming up in August, and I have at times recently felt pressured (by myself) to be ready to have him back at hom...

jackie S · jackie S

Hi, I feel like I am absolutely emotionally drained b/c of my AH. I can never do enough.......whether it is cleaning around the house, running errands, cooking, doing things w/ our daughter. I totally lost it this morning b/c I asked him if he could help me hang 1 thing up on the wall and he said he was too t...

Sylvie66 · Sylvie66

My ABF keeps changing the scenery on me! At Christmas, he had a violent blackout, my own personal rock-bottom. First, he said he was stopping completely. 6 weeks later, at my request, he said he would not be drunk near me or the kids. At the beginning of June, after a night of drinking when he was verbally...

kellia · kellia

I am so at the end of my rope here in Alabama! I don't mind saying where I live. My husband has been struggling with alcohol (plus other) addiction for the past 3 years. He has been to rehab twice and all of a sudden....even though he wavers back and forth between recovery and active add. he knows EVERYT...

debilyn · debilyn

A long time ago a friend used this word. I asked about it. It is a major tool in my life. Putting myself in anothers place and thinking how that may feel.It has made me ever so much more humble and loving. Used to be shy believe it or not. NO on really knew I played the role well I guess. But some thought my quie...

jackie S · jackie S

Hi, I tried to figure out how to email someone privately but had no luck. Someone in the chat room told me to double click on the persons name, which I assumed meant that meant that when that person was talking in the meeting room. I'm not sure. Anyway, I tried to double click in the meeting room but nothin...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family!! I have again had my belief in wise sayings validated. I've been around Al-Anon and AA for sometime and have seen lots of mysterious stuff. As I have related I was born and raised in this disease and know that it has affected lots of generations before me both as consumers and "dire...

maire rua · maire rua

At the moment, I am trying to complete a major piece of work. I had not contact my supervisor in this for a long time and he contacted me today. Finally I have faced up to this and instead of putting things off as I usually do, I told him my action plan and asked him what he needed me to do to fit into the criteria...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	update on son (Preview) ((((((((friends))))))))) My son's court case could not have gone any better today. He had a wonderful judge that is in recovery himself, so has a good understanding of what people go through that are trying to get their lives back on track. To me, that was God working. Anyway, my son will be done wit...	Lexie	11	572	Jul 7, 2008 by mel123
	Finding my Higher Power (Preview) I listen to everyone speak of their HP and how they leave things in their HP's hands etc but I have no understanding of the idea of a HP. I believe in God although (pity party) I feel like I"ve been dealt a really bad hand of cards during my life starting with a cancer diagnosis when I was 29 and leaving m...	angel66	11	2968	Jul 6, 2008 by angel66
	Hi everyone! (Preview) Well... I am doing OK. I just wanted to check in. I hope everyone is having a wonderful 4th of July weekend. Trying to live one day at a time with plans for the future. Hopefully I don't end up projecting and ruining today. I just am so impatient and I want to get things done. Someone suggested writing...	Hoot Nanny	4	419	Jul 6, 2008 by Karilynn
	Can this work? (Preview) A few months ago I met someone and since I have totally fallen head over heels for him. I met him while on vacation through my brother. We instantly clicked and it felt like we had known each other for years. I live 2,000 miles away from him but we have managed to keep a long distance relationship. I have eve...	Alaina	13	464	Jul 5, 2008 by Jean4444
	irritating day (Preview) Yes, today the fuel pump died just as we were returning from holidays, am having a run of having everything break together, have had to buy new washing machine and could have done without this expense, still I am trying hard to do a gratitude list, I have a spare car, so just need to transfer insurance on m...	maire rua	3	417	Jul 5, 2008 by Jean4444
	Courage to face it all...this is the miracle for today... (Preview) Ok, I have taken some time out and decided that after writing about my marriage and the love of my life I have to face it and walk that fourth step through it to get to the other side and into the light of holistic healing. It is really scary to face your worst nightmare, walk with it for twenty so years and the...	Suzannah	7	598	Jul 5, 2008 by debilyn
	What it was like back then... (Preview) Just came back from the annual 4th of July joint AA/Al-Anon potluck get together at one of the members home and found a picture of perfection in the mail box. It reminds me of when we were at our very best and totally dependent. That scary perfection time. Yet how beautiful we all were and Ruby Blue get...	Jerry F	12	764	Jul 5, 2008 by cookie1971
	I'm Moving On (Preview) Sunday, a week ago, AH and I took granddaughter, 7 months old, for a ride into the country, to a dairy farm/ice cream place. He was sweet and kind, helped with the baby, showed her the animals and gave her a taste of his ice cream. Gave her her bottle. She loves her Grandpa. We took lots of pictures that...	Becky1	12	642	Jul 5, 2008 by Sincerely
	New name -jackie S now angel66 (Preview) Just in case anyone who I've talked to wants to know ~Jackie	angel66	0	356	Jul 5, 2008 by angel66
	tech question - change username (Preview) Does anyone know how to change your username? I want to change it to the username I use in the chat room and dont know how. Of course I went to re register but since my email address is already in the system, it wouldnt let me do anything. Thx in advance	jackie S	1	357	Jul 5, 2008 by angel66
	Issues with Site (Preview) Just a quick question..................... Who deals with or handles it when you have problems on the site or your homepage? I've sent several emails out to mip for help without any response. I'm not getting my daily forum digests and dont know if I need to sign up a different way; I already did the mip e...	jackie S	2	298	Jul 4, 2008 by jackie S
	He relapsed..new to Al-Anon..not sure what to say or do. (Preview) Hello- I am pretty new to Al-Anon and have been going for about 2 months now. My bf was going to have his 90 pin tomorrow, but he relapsed last night. He recently finished a program (his work held his job for him while he was completeing) and has been going to AA 2x week. Well, I came home last night and tol...	mslouise	13	749	Jul 4, 2008 by AJ
	MY ESH (Preview) Good Morning, I had so much on my goal list for camp, We are having a Pig Roast there is Holiday. As I was preparing food for our journey, making pig in a blanket with mini Hot dogs and crescent rolls, wrapped around them, also was making Mac and cheese with ham in it. Something come over me StopBreath.list...	angel123	5	496	Jul 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	It's always there...its not going to go away! (Preview) This post is about my stinking thinking. I was recently in a situation where I was going on nothing- no good information about anything. I was operating in the dark. And when I am operating in the dark: where do I go? Into the insanity of my disease: stinking thinking!!! I begin to 1.) doubt, 2.) expect th...	Jean4444	6	826	Jul 4, 2008 by Jean4444
	Happy 4th of July! (Preview) ((((((((Family)))))), To my American family: HAPPY 4TH OF JULY! To my International family: HAPPY WEEKEND! If you get the daily word from Hazelden, Melody Beattie's entry is on it today. It talks about celebrating independence, not only our nation's but independence from codependency and addi...	Karilynn	2	415	Jul 4, 2008 by nmike
	Happy holidays (Preview) My last 6/7 4th of July holidays have all been spent trying to control an A who was out of control. Last year on 4th July I spent all my money trying to get the A off the street. Like always in my codependency I felt the effort would be appreciated (it never was but hope was something I held onto rigidly for a l...	maresie	6	392	Jul 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	HAPPY 4TH OF JULY (Preview) It's officially after midnight here on the East Coast of the US, so Happy Fourth of July to all my MIP friends. My oldest daughter - my own little firecracker - turns 9 today which is so hard to believe! I just finished frosting the mandatory American flag cake we'll be sharing with my family later toda...	lmw	2	355	Jul 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	low expectations and no boundaries (the two don't go together) (Preview) When I moved into the house I am in now I was really in a bind. I was desperate to get the dogs out from the A's care. So I didn't even consider the implications of what I was doing. To say I was exhausted was an understatement. When I moved in here there was a man here (he's still here) and he was plesant. Back...	maresie	1	529	Jul 4, 2008 by Christy
	How to open up a conversation (Preview) Well I'm back again - been reading up on the past posts, they have been so helpful -thank you. My conclusion is that I have a dry drunk for a husband. I sat down with him a few days ago and told him how I was feeling and what I needed to ensure that i felt better. In a nutshell he needs to find a job that will pay f...	kingston2902	4	616	Jul 4, 2008 by debilyn
	My A's First "Birthday" (Preview) Friday was his first sober birthday. It was wonderful to watch him receive his one year medallion and to hear the speaker's story and to feel the love of all the sober alcoholic's in one room. And for me it was bittersweet. My dad is an active alcoholic. While we were standing shoulder to shoulder and han...	JenniferN	5	647	Jul 3, 2008 by maresie
	Question Regarding Sober Birthdays (Preview) As some of you might recall, my husband slipped up a few weeks back and had at least one drink. If a recovering alcoholic slips up and has even one drink, does that mean he or she has to start all over again counting the days, months of sobriety? Hubby keeps saying it will have his first sober birthday in A...	stormie	7	625	Jul 3, 2008 by canadianguy
	new member - Living with a recovering A (Preview) We are mid fifties and have been down 25 years of hard road due to my wife's drinking. I am ACOA and codependent of course and drink next to nothing. Maybe 6 drinks/year. She has progressed from 6 beers/day to 18 beers/day, every day, over 30 years. Yes, I said 18. Her drinking has killed any relatio...	JohnInFL	13	869	Jul 3, 2008 by maresie
	Oh the anger!! Why?? (Preview) I have been divorced from my exAH since March 08. What an accomplishment for me. I have come so far in the last few years. I amazed at myself for all that I have done. Yet I am even more amazed by where I am still stuck!! By this I mean, I am still so very angry!! The anger helps me get the "must do's&q...	QOD	15	707	Jul 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	Better for me so why the confusion? (Preview) I've been reading/lurking here for a while now. I'm in a situation now where I really need some feedback. My AH has been sober now for about 3 1/2 years. He doesn't go to AA anymore - he did regularly for the first year but now nothing. He also doesn't work. He has used all his savings/pension. He had this dr...	kingston2902	4	543	Jul 3, 2008 by kingston2902
	Spiritual Awakiening (Preview) Thank God morning, Remember this old saying some would say Good God morning or Thank God morning I am Thankful the spiritual Awaking I have bin experiencing. I have bin going to camp as you all know. This is where I am most able to learn how to calm me down for this time in my life. I have bin enjoying every mo...	angel123	2	344	Jul 2, 2008 by nmike
	Resolving "things" vs behavior change with no explaination? (Preview) I have realized this week that I really need to let go of "resentment" in order to feel happy. I need to find some answers- Higher Power can provide I know. I am not purposely holding on to things but since my way is to "discuss" feelings about things that happen and my A's is to sim...	glad	5	848	Jul 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	My AH who is NOT an "AH" (Preview) I was just thinking after reading some messages and being in the meeting...........that my AH is active, with no desire to stop drinking. I neither have a AH in treatment , a sober AH, or a recovering AH . My AH doesnt want to stop drinking. He "doesnt have a problem". Its "not an issue...	jackie S	8	621	Jul 2, 2008 by jackie S
	The good, the bad and the ugly (Preview) Well, sooner came sooner than I thought it would. . . and it really was the last straw. I just dont understand this disease. THE GOOD: Im not really sure how things are going to work out, but I can not stay in this relationship. For the longest time I was holding onto hope, but now there is none left to hold on...	be4yourii	16	644	Jul 2, 2008 by lam0204
	prayer request (Preview) I'm feeling pretty sad today. Tomorrow I'm flying back east..my brother is dying. He's near the end of his life. He is only 55 yrs old. He is also one of my qualifiers. He has stage 4 liver cancer that has spread. My sisters and I will all gather and say our good byes. Please keep my family in your praye...	carosie	5	356	Jul 2, 2008 by Leetle
	Unexpected cured me of expectations (Preview) dear family, what a month of growth and gratitude for the al anon tools I have learned so far. Listen, think, my side of the street, say what I mean, let go & let God, embrace feelings, and prayers for all of you while I have been gone this month of June. I had expected to spend the 2nd week of June at a c...	ddub	6	630	Jul 2, 2008 by nmike
	Expectations (Preview) I'm having to revise my expectations. When I stopped people pleasing, people were not singing from the roof tops. In fact a lot of them are downright unpleased that I have stopped doing for them what they need to do for themselves. They aren't exactly happy I stopped paying for everything or stopped t...	maresie	5	422	Jul 2, 2008 by kitty
	posting for Du Jour (Preview) I am a Recovering addict and had the first 12 years of our marriage clean but had issues that went unattended and I eventually relapsed 10 years back and have had up and down off and on again slips and relapses. Every time there is an emotional crisis I hit the pipe and the bottle. 15 months ago I entered a re...	debilyn	4	407	Jul 2, 2008 by Jen
	I'm leaving it up to HP, but still can't get past the bitterness (Preview) It happened just as I thought it would! I knew he drank Monday night, and of course, yesterday, when I got home from working all day, found a note from him telling me he was going to a meeting and be home at 6:30. Well, it must have been some meeting! He was drunk as a skunk. I expected it (why would I expec...	queenie105	4	554	Jul 2, 2008 by QOD
	How to "Let Go and Let God" (Preview) My son and DIL refuse all my calls etc. and will now not let me see the grandkids. This has been going over 2 months. OK PLEASE I am pleading----I have a God box and put my letting go in there. It helped at first---but now I am in terrible aniexty, like I feel like I am having a heart attack. I guess I am taking G...	meagain	6	693	Jul 2, 2008 by maresie
	a troubling incident (Preview) The day before yesterday: While I was at work, AH took my two girls and one of thier friends to a movie and dinner. My daughter told me she saw three empty beer bottles at his feet when the movie was over. They went to a resteraunt where he ordered a white russian. When AH left the resteraunt, the owner calle...	RainyJamie	10	608	Jul 2, 2008 by maresie
	slip and sliding (Preview) As you all know I'm more than one year out from leaving the A. The issue for me is that there is still tremendous codpendency in me. I tend to try harder when people are obnoxious. I people please in my sleep. I catch myself doing it and the blame game and then get mad and lash out. I don't think I know what a &qu...	maresie	3	315	Jul 2, 2008 by maresie
	A&E's show, "Intervention" (Preview) I watch this show a lot and I get a lot out of it. I like some of their sayings regarding an intervention. One of the things that they tell the family (during pre-intervention) to keep in mind as a support for the addict to accept help is: - There's nothing we won't do to help you get better - Ther...	ESH	4	3796	Jul 2, 2008 by stariana
	The 3 Cs and the new me! (Preview) This morning my XDIL called to say she was dumping my A son out in the street for all kinds of reasons. He has been with her for a week.I got right off the phone. Then I got 2 emails from my son, blaming her and saying he had to get away from her so he was going to be on the street 100 miles from here. I had a long stan...	laurab	6	709	Jul 2, 2008 by joyoma
	im back!!!!!!! (Preview) hi everyone. some of you know me and some dont. long story short...been in the program few years now. was with an alcoholic/crack addict for 8 yrs and magaged to leave him and get my life back. i was extremely happy and healthy. i was on top of the world. currently ive lost myself again. my life is falling...	notsonew1111	2	426	Jul 2, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	new here - drug addicted teen at home,what to do.... (Preview) I am new to this board - I have read a few posts and love the way people share and support each other... I found this week that my son, age 16, has been using drugs for quite some time and it was right under my nose. I found an ADD drug all crushed up and ready to snort in his pocket while I was doing laundry. Whe...	mich8	12	964	Jul 2, 2008 by junehouse
	My marriage and the love of my life... (Preview) ((((((((((((Family)))))))))))) I am sharing this with you all as I have with my Sponsor, 'cos I need your help, your clarity, your thoughts on this craziness of mine. "...So trying to practise my OWN self confessed approach and letting go letting God this morning; and after a session of visual...	Suzannah	13	764	Jul 2, 2008 by Suzannah
	New priorities (Preview) Its incredible, the more I lean on HP, the less it matters what ANYONE does/doesn't do or says/doesn't say. I am taking things less and less personally with each passing month. The more I am gentle with myself, the more others are gentle towards me. The more I understand that we are each on our own journe...	Jean4444	6	548	Jul 2, 2008 by maire rua
	He is not my HP (Preview) Hi Alanoners, Sure feels like it sometimes. Just got off the phone with him - my AHSober. It takes us about 2 secs now to get into that circular conversation. I called to see if he could take the truck in for brakes and he says when are we going to sit down with the specifics about the divorce. He says you have...	nmike	5	607	Jul 2, 2008 by maire rua
	Miracles in my life...after the storm, a rainbow. (Preview) Love the miracles in my life...feel so much is happening as I accept more and more of what is in my life. Not fighting my life as much these days, and I am sure that is something to do with Alanon and practising the programme and reading and writing and sharing with this ((((family)))). Nothing stays the s...	Suzannah	8	623	Jul 2, 2008 by Suzannah
	His stinkin thinkin is startin, I think! (Preview) AH has been sober now for about 10 days, since losing his job (of over 20 years) due to his drunkeness 3 weeks ago. I'm sorry to say I have not kept up with the enforcement of my own boundaries. When he lost his job, I told him I would not leave him if he got sober, went to 90 meetings in 90 days and remained s...	queenie105	3	595	Jul 1, 2008 by debilyn
	How does this work? (Preview) I have no knowledge of how the court system operates: A got arrested May 22nd for public intoxication. At that time he apparently appeared before a judge. He doesn't remember doing so, but the paperwork he brought home indicates that he did. At that time he was given the date of June 25th (yesterday) to...	Diva	10	752	Jul 1, 2008 by ESH
	hi jen (Preview) I had tried to send this via private message a long time ago but it did not go through, I have had some trouble with sending intracomputer notes and usually have to cut and paste the email on my own email. I think it has something to do with my security computer system maybe? anyhoo below is the message fr...	junehouse	2	304	Jul 1, 2008 by junehouse
	I am DONE (Preview) I am done with it. I am done trying to be the only one trying to make our marriage work. I am done listening to him make drink after drink. I am done watching him drink. I am done watching how he is treating our wonderful children. I am done being treated like a child. I am done yelling. I am done crying. I am don...	Mabeleileen	9	477	Jul 1, 2008 by debilyn
	It's hard to keep the focus on myself (Preview) The thought of taking care of myself is rather foreign. I always believed that you put other people's needs ahead of your own, and that if you thought about yourself for any length of time it was not a good thing to do. I'm sure I adopted this behavior from watching my mother who catered to my father's (and...	AJ	8	616	Jul 1, 2008 by maresie
	different type of relationship (Preview) just want some advice on dealing with another anon or codependent who is not an A	notsonew1111	3	381	Jul 1, 2008 by maresie
	The opposites (Preview) Aloha Family!! I was asked in a PM to take the subject of "doing the opposites" out a bit further or to expand on what I had mentioned in a reply to a post earlier. In that post I had mentioned that I had learned "the opposites" from working with help from the program, sponsor and my th...	Jerry F	9	3410	Jul 1, 2008 by thinkstoomuch
	Thank-You!!!!!! (Preview) Thanks You to all of you for your prayers and concerns about the issue with my son and DIL. But mostly I need to thank my Higher Power-God is always in control and He is My Strength. My son called me tonite---yes we have issues to discuss-not on the phone he said, that's OK. I can see the grandkids and that...	meagain	1	318	Jul 1, 2008 by glad lee
	Trusting myself and HP's guidance (long) (Preview) Things have been going really well. I am hopeful, but still a bit reserved. AH had 10 months sober on the 27th and I told him last fall that I would not let him back in for at least a year. So our year is coming up in August, and I have at times recently felt pressured (by myself) to be ready to have him back at hom...	Jen	3	313	Jun 30, 2008 by serendipity
	Emotionally Drained (Preview) Hi, I feel like I am absolutely emotionally drained b/c of my AH. I can never do enough.......whether it is cleaning around the house, running errands, cooking, doing things w/ our daughter. I totally lost it this morning b/c I asked him if he could help me hang 1 thing up on the wall and he said he was too t...	jackie S	7	550	Jun 30, 2008 by kellia
	Newbie - Unclear on the Concept (Preview) My ABF keeps changing the scenery on me! At Christmas, he had a violent blackout, my own personal rock-bottom. First, he said he was stopping completely. 6 weeks later, at my request, he said he would not be drunk near me or the kids. At the beginning of June, after a night of drinking when he was verbally...	Sylvie66	6	502	Jun 30, 2008 by kellia
	frustrated: living w/a parttime active/trying to recover 'know it all' (Preview) I am so at the end of my rope here in Alabama! I don't mind saying where I live. My husband has been struggling with alcohol (plus other) addiction for the past 3 years. He has been to rehab twice and all of a sudden....even though he wavers back and forth between recovery and active add. he knows EVERYT...	kellia	8	650	Jun 30, 2008 by kellia
	playing reversies (Preview) A long time ago a friend used this word. I asked about it. It is a major tool in my life. Putting myself in anothers place and thinking how that may feel.It has made me ever so much more humble and loving. Used to be shy believe it or not. NO on really knew I played the role well I guess. But some thought my quie...	debilyn	7	1219	Jun 30, 2008 by debilyn
	Private Emails (Preview) Hi, I tried to figure out how to email someone privately but had no luck. Someone in the chat room told me to double click on the persons name, which I assumed meant that meant that when that person was talking in the meeting room. I'm not sure. Anyway, I tried to double click in the meeting room but nothin...	jackie S	3	302	Jun 30, 2008 by Mandy123
	Wonders are still and mysterious. (Preview) Aloha Family!! I have again had my belief in wise sayings validated. I've been around Al-Anon and AA for sometime and have seen lots of mysterious stuff. As I have related I was born and raised in this disease and know that it has affected lots of generations before me both as consumers and "dire...	Jerry F	6	580	Jun 30, 2008 by Suzannah
	How to face up to getting things done (Preview) At the moment, I am trying to complete a major piece of work. I had not contact my supervisor in this for a long time and he contacted me today. Finally I have faced up to this and instead of putting things off as I usually do, I told him my action plan and asked him what he needed me to do to fit into the criteria...	maire rua	2	437	Jun 30, 2008 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.