The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just checking in to tell y'all I made it down to Louisville safe and sound. I can genuinely tell you I have never prayed so much in my entire life as I did today. I was so scared and so full of feelings and so on and so forth that I was just like "Oh dear and sweet and merciful God, whatever happens today, DO NOT let me turn this car around." Well he didn't and I'm writing you from the Louisville library. And let me tell you oh Dear God it is HOT. I thought it was warm but it's HOT. And, if I may, y'all can tell me I'm breaking my arm pattin' myself on the back afterword, I want to tell y'all the program works. I did all my own packin'--my parents didn't help at all, and if anything, like the alcholics in active disease they are, tried to sabatoge, manipulate, and prevent this all the way. I did all my own heavy liftin--well, Bill M, my friend who hauled most of my stuff, and saved me god knows how much money because he's "one of us" and not a professional (and won't take any money, not even for gas ). I did all of my own phone calls, appointments and everything else so that now that I'm down here, it's all showin' up. So if there's anyone down there that's feelin' like "But if I do leave...what then?" Well, I can't tell you, all I know is that as soon as I finish here, I'm meetin' a lady named Yvette and I'm gonna do 90-n-90 and hook up with all sorts of recoverin' folk @ an 8pm meetin'. I have never met Louisville, till today. I have never seen anythin' in Louisville, till today. I have never met my roommate, and she's at her job site orientation, so I still haven't met her. So I'm either courageous or stupid or a combination there of. What I do know, and I think this is why I alot of people don't go for it, is that I'm dealin' with a lot of feelings. I feel like a puppy killer one minute, free as a bird the next. I feel exhausted and drained and then I feel like I just got off a roller coaster. I feel like I need a good long (cold) bath and then I feel like I need a hot, very expensive meal (ideally paid for by someone else ). But these are feelings, these too will pass. And I know they're rooted in the fact that I've left dad to his own devices--if he gets sober, or dies, or continues in disease, I know now it's completely not about me. So, just wanted to check in, and reassure y'all the program's saving my butt again. Thank y'all so so much for everything.
Wow!! I'm so proud of you for trusting and looking outside the box. One day at a time sweetie, you're doing GREAT!! Keep posting and keep taking care of you with your HP's help!! You are a miracle in progress!!
Thanks for the share. You are a beacon for those of us who need to move on. Thanks for telling us that the program works. Trust your feelings. Sounds like you have alot of recovery help. Soar with the eagles.
). I did all of my own phone calls, appointments and everything else so that now that I'm down here, it's all showin' up. So if there's anyone down there that's feelin' like "But if I do leave...what then?" Well, I can't tell you, all I know is that as soon as I finish here, I'm meetin' a lady named Yvette and I'm gonna do 90-n-90 and hook up with all sorts of recoverin' folk @ an 8pm meetin'. I have never met Louisville, till today. I have never seen anythin' in Louisville, till today. I have never met my roommate, and she's at her job site orientation, so I still haven't met her. So I'm either courageous or stupid or a combination there of. 
). But these are feelings, these too will pass. And I know they're rooted in the fact that I've left dad to his own devices--if he gets sober, or dies, or continues in disease, I know now it's completely not about me. 
Seems the student showed up today.