Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well, my ex a b/f was given a choice, jail or rehab. Obviously he choose rehab. I havent talked to him because he isnt allowed to make or receive calls and isnt allowed to have visitors. My question is for those of you that have had their A in rehab. Are they allowed to see their sponsors? I would think...

glad · glad

Today at a meeting a super nice lady said the greatest thing to me. It's okay to cry and not know exactly why sometimes. Perhaps it's God washing out your soul. Made me think.... Sometimes it's concreate and sometimes it's just feelings. Or both but I don't have to know right away. If it's okay to smile a...

glad · glad

Okay he's trying, he's moody and obviously really wanting a beer. He said he was sorry for being short with me (sweet) and that he was just really having a hard time tonight. I said " is there anything I can do" he said "yea, go to the beer store" Believe it or not this is deep emotiona...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

OK, so I have been visiting this guy who I am kind of involved with here in Honolulu and he is pretty terrific but he drinks alcohol EVERY SINGLE DAY at night, often before going to bed...I am now kicking myself...of course I could ONLY find another alcoholic to fall in love with...fortunately, I have NO...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

What a gorgeous day it is today!! Well for me at least. Seems my ex a b/f has done it again. This time he couldnt hide especially from the lights and sirens that pulled him over yesterday for speeding, etc. Seems he is enjoying his drinks a little too much again and was pulled over and taken to jail wher...

Tracy · Tracy

One step forward two back I have finally realised I have to accept my Ab for who he really is and have really been trying to but out of his life. the only prob is the more i realise I carnt change him the more I think our relationship can not work. At the mo he is trying not to drink and is doing alright and has be...

Libby · Libby

I thought it was safe to go to bed (he was at a friends, "not unhappy drunk Mum" as he says, not going into town) then I was awakened at 2am - please Mum come and bring me some money, I can pay you back tomorrow - and guess what! I did! Can you believe it? I was fuming the whole time but I still did it! I w...

charlescharles · charlescharles

i have come to realize a few things today...maybe just getting more honest with myself here my real problems had have nothing to do with alcohol use..drug use...other people...other relationships i am simply..on some level..just a scared and frieghtened person..who has let others walk over him a...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey..i'm in another dillemma and have no one to talk to about it it concerns my ex girlfriend and the woman that i have been with the deal is simple but i am making it complicated my friends are going down to the shore...were my ex might be the woman i am with now...all though we broke up...allthough we slep...

maresie · maresie

As I am doing my 4th step I am having to look at some of my charactor traits, one of them is real stubornness. Ask me to do something and my attachment to doing the opposite is right up there. When people suggested I leave the A I felt that I needed to be even more committed to the relationship to show them I cou...

greta · greta

I've had a couple of rough weeks. I have come to the realization that my little job here at the coast isn't the one for me. Hmmmm not realization..truth be acceptance. It is not a good paying job and my boss is an alcoholic. She and her husband are the general managers here and their normal day is to che...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Hello, The past four years I have been dating an A. The first two years he was abusive and I finally left him. A year later he came back in my life and was sober (but not through counseling or AA). We had a wonderful summer last year, and were able to rebuild our relationship. He made so many amends and we we...

JulieMarie · JulieMarie

I'm positive DH is an alcoholic. Except that he is positive that it's just my issue, because I don't understand social drinking. He drinks (usually alone) 2-3 times a week. Doesn't usually get "smashed" but often has just enough to not drive safely. Sometimes he does drink responsib...

charlescharles · charlescharles

hey all went to court today...spoke to the judge...got my girl off from her assault charges i still find her to be a b...and we broke up tonight..or so it goes my mind was spinning after words...she wanted to try to work things out but i guess i am putting my foot down i will not let her in my apartment anymor...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

It has been quite awhile since I have posted but I have been reading. There has been so much that has happened. But through it all I am actually feeling better. I set boundaries and stuck to them, that was extremely hard and heart breaking as well. It meant that I had to let my 18 year old son go. I fully belie...

maresie · maresie

A year ago I cut off all contact with the A. The past year has been a really hard slog. I am just beginning to emerge. I think for me now my tolerance for inappropriate behavior is getting in there. I put in better and better boundaries all the time. I really do. As a result I have more energy. I'm currentl...

glad · glad

Thanks to everyone for posting. Especially those things that we think are "silly" or maybe we shouldn't post... because in answering or identifying with others we are all helped. I think this is what "sponsoring" is all about too. Helping others allows sponsors to stay close...

maresie · maresie

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/magazine/20Carr-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

charlescharles · charlescharles

its thursday morning...something woke me up early today dreading the first phone call i will recieve today from the lady...miss her but need to continue to persevere feeling a bit empty here...thinking about my old life and wondering what it is that i am missing from the new which will catapolt me int...

Family members · maire rua

Dear All, I didn't get the job I went for on monday but am not too put out. It was not for me. My sister rang yesterday, having just arrived in the country, no warning, as usual, but this time, I set some boundaries. I pointed out that this method of arrival was not convenient and that I wished that she would n...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Finally, after pushing myself, and I mean really pushing myself, I was going to attend my 1st face to face this evening. And the whole way there, I was thinking........... This bites that I have to get out of my cozy house and go to this meeting. Ugh...I don't want to have to walk in there. This is crazy...

calicoconnie123 · calicoconnie123

My husband has been drinking all of his adult life. He is 62 years old. This is a typical work day for him. He gets home around 4:00pm, has three Vodka Martinis. Then at dinner around 6:00pm he has a glass of wine with dinner. After dinner he drinks a Scotch and Water. Then he drinks a beer. Then he drinks ano...

binohio · binohio

Hi, I am still looking for a permanent job its been almost a year. Have been working with some temp. agencies and have managed to stay temporarily for about nine months. My last assignment ended about a month ago. My mothers estate was settled a few months ago and I have been using that just to pay the esse...

Jen · Jen

I am having a particularly overwhelming problem that is greatly interfereing with my serenity. My neighbors just had a bunch of work done on the road and apparently think I am going to help pay for it. I feel like they think they have some right to spend my money, not that I have any to spend. They just got t...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I have a bit of a drive today (140 miles round trip) to pick it up, but that is okay. Hopefully I can start participating over here more now! The laptop has been rife with problems, not to mention the fact I need new trifocals and have been squinting at the small 14.5" screen on this thing! My Vocatio...

Kitten · Kitten

Ohh not sure how this all works... Am feeling really comforted having been this site for the first time today tho!! Was referred to Al-anon by my therapist who thought maybe my issues were related to being an adult child of an alcoholic....wow!!! There ia actually a term for it I am in awe. I think I must h...

MomGayle42 · MomGayle42

I have not called him since he went on a drinking binge and was put in jail for a DUI. It seems like it has been a few weeks but truthfully I do not know. I try hard to focus on my life, my younger son and when I catch myself slippping I say a prayer for him and then move on. Today I thought I should call though, jus...

Alone · Alone

You think after having a heart attack that you'd stop drinking, not my husband, he hasn't changed his ways in spite of his doctors advice. I am cooking and eating "heart healthy" and have even made the kids, but my husband is even cheating on that. I am so discusted with him. Not even a heart...

Loupiness · Loupiness

I think one of the hardest things for me in recovery is knowing in my head and heart what is right, but still be completely unable, or maybe I should say unwilling to change my behavior. Hey, that sounds familiar, huh? I heard a AA speaker once who talked about his craziness in early sobriety and how he had...

mslouise · mslouise

I have something on my mind this morning that I need to write. Maybe just to vent and get it out, that usually helps. I know it is silly, but maybe not. This particular situation has given me great anxiety in the past as well as caused many problems for me and bf whenever these people are involved....

Mommaceda · Mommaceda

As a brand new member, I am looking for some advice. I am sure there are others out there like me. My 19 year old daughter has been using drugs on and off for a year. She has tried to be clean at least 4 x that I am aware of. She has completed one inpatient rehabilitation program and used again within a mont...

wp · wp

Does anyone know what the problem might be ? I couldn't get into the room tonight, only to this board. I tried for 40 minutes, over and over, and it wouldn't load all the way. Patience, patience... pw

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

I feel like there have been irreversable changes inside me. The fear, anger, lonliness, betrayal ect... like it's all built up and when (if it's ever) over I wont be the same again.

Loupiness · Loupiness

I am hoping that by posting, I may process my thoughts a bit and feel better about what I think I need to do. For years, I primarily stayed home with my kids and helped a bit with our business. I did a bit of per diem work in my field of education, filling in for vacations and assisting during busy times. In Go...

roxygirl · roxygirl

Can you please tell me the purpose of Alanon? Is it to help me to take care of me? And to learn how not to take on the Alcoholic's problems? Please help me see the light. Thanks, Roxygirl

maresie · maresie

Today I had to detach from something at work. I did it so well! I am so happy I am no longer just one long non stop reaction person. One of my colleagues is devastated.I really tried to model detachment for her but reaction is what she knows. I know I was there. I choose to be more functional these days. I k...

cbu03 · cbu03

I am fairly new here and my husband is an alcoholic. He has tried to cut back on his drinking, but the thing is that I don't like to be around him when he does not drink. On the days he does not drink, he just lays around and is very high strung. The days that he does drink, by the end of the night I can't stand t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I keep wondering this to myself. Last week I got the renewal letter for my lease, it had fill in the blank dates for how long I wanted to stay. One year is up and I found myself filling it out for another year but putting it in my drawer. I was entertaining thoughts of moving to a strange new place, finding...

onestep@atime · onestep@atime

My A husband has put me through hell for the last 7 years. I can't understand why I don't hate him and have a strong desire to help him. He is once again trying to quit, mostly I think because he is afraid I am going to take his only son and go back home which is 1200 miles from here. I don't understand his attitu...

Dragongirl777 · Dragongirl777

I just found this forum as I sat here trying to figure out what to do next. My A husband was sober for about 4 yrs and relapsed a month or so ago. He went into rehab and got out last week. He went right back to using/drinking. I confronted him today when I realized and now I'm at an impass. I want to leave, I want...

Libby · Libby

My son 19 has been binge drinking for a month. Also on anti-depressants. The result is what you guys of course know all about. He is not violent to me or my son 15 but is putting himself at great risk, stealing, smashing things, blacking out, blames the medication, doesn't want to stop drinking. I am cons...

afmom03 · afmom03

Hello Strangers!! <LOL> It has been 6 months since I've been able to log-in to post anything becuz this stupid computer wouldn't let me without "cookies en- abled"??? Whatever that is! <LOL> But...here it is almost 2:30am and I'm sooo awake and ex...

Tracy · Tracy

my AB has been sober for a couple of weeks since I no longer have lots of drama alot of feelings are coming to the surface and I am turning in to a provocker He still has not drank as far as I am aware. You see when he drinks and goes missing I think he cheats i have caught him once and tried to get over it. But some...

mo14 · mo14

Hi All Well I needed to vent and I hear this is a better place than the A in our lives to vent. As some of you know I moved out from my A last Wednesday and I dont know if I have mentioned it before but even high he always been an awesome father. He has always been an awesome father...well after saying that when...

buick23 · buick23

Today was the first day I did not worry about what he was doing, what he was thinking, and I did not obsess over anything that was going on today. I was able to go through the day without being upset, worried, or sad. We had a nice dinner together, laughed together. He is starting to open up more and I know it a...

Becky1 · Becky1

Why am I always attracted to men who are not available to me.....either physically or emotionally...... I talked to my soon to be ex AH one evening this past week. He gave me a copy of the dissolution papers to look over. I really did OK with it, I didn't cry or come home and have to take nerve pills. In fac...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

Some of you may remember that I am going to start college this fall and finally complete my degree, two degrees actually. I will get an associate of arts, and an associate of applied science in medical information technology. That will allow me to work as a biller/coder, a transcriptionist, a variety...

lostgirl · lostgirl

I just found this place from a search engine after having one of the worst days of my life. My live-in boyfriend of ten years is an alcoholic, and has gotten progressively more moody and unpredictable over the past year and a half. Today, he got so mad at me and his kids (13 and 19) that he scared us all by sm...

Maria123 · Maria123

I was just asked out! I am a nervous wreck. I said "just as friends, right?" He responds yes, I don't know where I am going in my life. This guy is my neighbor. We've been talking just in passing often. Every once in a while, we chat for a while about "life." I am pretty sure this g...

Suzannah · Suzannah

and then I feel I cannot cope with any of it even though I am conscious that I am leaning on my HP and letting go, letting God. I have spent the last two weeks taking phone call after phone call and reading text after text and hearing my daughter's sadness; it seems that she will never to happy, never be love...

norwood · norwood

I never understood how people could go searching for the "smoking gun", and yet there I went on my search and found what I was looking for. I had all the pointers to my qualifier's drinking problems, but it wasn't enough. She ended it over a year aog and I am moving on and working my program. ...

Codependent · Codependent

I guess I am looking for some hope here, but I just wondered- once again- if anyone ever sees thier A. I know I have asked this question before- forgive me. My As mom and I have been talking that he really seems to think that when he gets out of jail his life and himself are going to be different. But, it's li...

buick23 · buick23

Once again, I've picked up the book "codependent no more". I'm in the middle of the part "feel your own feelings". As I started reading about "repressing feelings" and what that can do for people I saw a connection between those feelings and my Asober. "we lose...

SmallSteps · SmallSteps

I finally stood up for myself to the A who has been treating me like crap for a few months (after weaseling back into my life even though he humiliated at the beginning of the year). I told him I wouldn't keep coming over when he called after hanging out with other people (lately a girl he swears he's not sle...

carosie · carosie

Dear MIP Family, A week ago today my hubby passed away. I lost my best friend...my soulmate. My heart is broken. I have been taken it an hour and sometimes a minute at a time. He was the kindest and gentlest man I have ever known. He passed peacefully which was how he lived his life. I find some comfo...

joyoma · joyoma

This week was a whirlwind and I am left breathless. My VATS surgery of 7/14 has not left me sick. I am doing OK. BUT this week a phone call from the cancer center saying: "We want you to come in on August 6 to discuss chemo."......I was totally undone as I had just prayed so hard never to have to...

charlescharles · charlescharles

...for all the kind words and suggestions..much appreciated i have little feed back for others at this point...guess i am so wrapped up and emeshed in my own world...i think this is a negative character trait but for now this is all i've got my heart and head seem to be getting more and more on the same pag...

serendipity · serendipity

I had a lawn sale today. I did it all by myself. I hate selling my stuff, it is just so awkward. I had a hard time hanging up the signs because I feel like someone is going to yell at me. But I did it. And it went well, the neighbors came out and chatted, that was great. I made a bit of money (which I need so badly)....

mo14 · mo14

Hi All, Well I know in my last post I mentioned I was moving on Friday...well life changes sometimes and I moved Wednesday instead. The two days before I left my A called me everything in his vocabulary to make me feel bad about myself. I did something back that I would never have believed I would......

wallsal55 · wallsal55

Continue to have the best possible doctors ( more than one! ), counselors on board for my healthcare team. I cannot stress enough how stress has played a role in my life......... from a thyroid imbalance through living with an alcoholic, and hormonal changes (pms to menopause). Stress can...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Update and Information Needed On Rehab (Preview) Well, my ex a b/f was given a choice, jail or rehab. Obviously he choose rehab. I havent talked to him because he isnt allowed to make or receive calls and isnt allowed to have visitors. My question is for those of you that have had their A in rehab. Are they allowed to see their sponsors? I would think...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	10	556	Aug 3, 2008 by HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
	Emotions (Preview) Today at a meeting a super nice lady said the greatest thing to me. It's okay to cry and not know exactly why sometimes. Perhaps it's God washing out your soul. Made me think.... Sometimes it's concreate and sometimes it's just feelings. Or both but I don't have to know right away. If it's okay to smile a...	glad	1	464	Aug 2, 2008 by Jean4444
	What to do when you see them hurting? (Preview) Okay he's trying, he's moody and obviously really wanting a beer. He said he was sorry for being short with me (sweet) and that he was just really having a hard time tonight. I said " is there anything I can do" he said "yea, go to the beer store" Believe it or not this is deep emotiona...	glad	11	716	Aug 2, 2008 by glad
	ANOTHER A walks into my life??!!....yikes! (Preview) OK, so I have been visiting this guy who I am kind of involved with here in Honolulu and he is pretty terrific but he drinks alcohol EVERY SINGLE DAY at night, often before going to bed...I am now kicking myself...of course I could ONLY find another alcoholic to fall in love with...fortunately, I have NO...	Jean4444	11	537	Aug 2, 2008 by Loupiness
	Low and behold, he's crashed and is suffering the consequences (Preview) What a gorgeous day it is today!! Well for me at least. Seems my ex a b/f has done it again. This time he couldnt hide especially from the lights and sirens that pulled him over yesterday for speeding, etc. Seems he is enjoying his drinks a little too much again and was pulled over and taken to jail wher...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	3	657	Aug 2, 2008 by maresie
	what about me (Preview) One step forward two back I have finally realised I have to accept my Ab for who he really is and have really been trying to but out of his life. the only prob is the more i realise I carnt change him the more I think our relationship can not work. At the mo he is trying not to drink and is doing alright and has be...	Tracy	6	609	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	Guess what I did last night (Preview) I thought it was safe to go to bed (he was at a friends, "not unhappy drunk Mum" as he says, not going into town) then I was awakened at 2am - please Mum come and bring me some money, I can pay you back tomorrow - and guess what! I did! Can you believe it? I was fuming the whole time but I still did it! I w...	Libby	9	769	Aug 2, 2008 by Sincerely
	realization (Preview) i have come to realize a few things today...maybe just getting more honest with myself here my real problems had have nothing to do with alcohol use..drug use...other people...other relationships i am simply..on some level..just a scared and frieghtened person..who has let others walk over him a...	charlescharles	4	468	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	i really need some advise (Preview) hey..i'm in another dillemma and have no one to talk to about it it concerns my ex girlfriend and the woman that i have been with the deal is simple but i am making it complicated my friends are going down to the shore...were my ex might be the woman i am with now...all though we broke up...allthough we slep...	charlescharles	12	609	Aug 2, 2008 by lin0606
	HALT in practice (Preview) As I am doing my 4th step I am having to look at some of my charactor traits, one of them is real stubornness. Ask me to do something and my attachment to doing the opposite is right up there. When people suggested I leave the A I felt that I needed to be even more committed to the relationship to show them I cou...	maresie	3	930	Aug 2, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Sometimes I just don't want to! (Preview) I've had a couple of rough weeks. I have come to the realization that my little job here at the coast isn't the one for me. Hmmmm not realization..truth be acceptance. It is not a good paying job and my boss is an alcoholic. She and her husband are the general managers here and their normal day is to che...	greta	3	552	Aug 2, 2008 by nmike
	Pregnant with A Boyfriend, no Alanon mtg in my area (Preview) Hello, The past four years I have been dating an A. The first two years he was abusive and I finally left him. A year later he came back in my life and was sober (but not through counseling or AA). We had a wonderful summer last year, and were able to rebuild our relationship. He made so many amends and we we...	lonewolfmama	6	706	Aug 2, 2008 by Shark
	New Here......which way is up? (Preview) I'm positive DH is an alcoholic. Except that he is positive that it's just my issue, because I don't understand social drinking. He drinks (usually alone) 2-3 times a week. Doesn't usually get "smashed" but often has just enough to not drive safely. Sometimes he does drink responsib...	JulieMarie	4	665	Aug 2, 2008 by Jerry F
	tough nite (Preview) hey all went to court today...spoke to the judge...got my girl off from her assault charges i still find her to be a b...and we broke up tonight..or so it goes my mind was spinning after words...she wanted to try to work things out but i guess i am putting my foot down i will not let her in my apartment anymor...	charlescharles	3	605	Aug 1, 2008 by maresie
	It's been sooooo long... (Preview) It has been quite awhile since I have posted but I have been reading. There has been so much that has happened. But through it all I am actually feeling better. I set boundaries and stuck to them, that was extremely hard and heart breaking as well. It meant that I had to let my 18 year old son go. I fully belie...	wildthang86	7	525	Aug 1, 2008 by maresie
	life without the A (Preview) A year ago I cut off all contact with the A. The past year has been a really hard slog. I am just beginning to emerge. I think for me now my tolerance for inappropriate behavior is getting in there. I put in better and better boundaries all the time. I really do. As a result I have more energy. I'm currentl...	maresie	5	496	Aug 1, 2008 by kitty
	No Job too small for HP (Preview) Thanks to everyone for posting. Especially those things that we think are "silly" or maybe we shouldn't post... because in answering or identifying with others we are all helped. I think this is what "sponsoring" is all about too. Helping others allows sponsors to stay close...	glad	2	426	Aug 1, 2008 by SmallSteps
	fourth step (Preview) http://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/20/magazine/20Carr-t.html?_r=1&oref=slogin	maresie	3	438	Aug 1, 2008 by kitty
	morning (Preview) its thursday morning...something woke me up early today dreading the first phone call i will recieve today from the lady...miss her but need to continue to persevere feeling a bit empty here...thinking about my old life and wondering what it is that i am missing from the new which will catapolt me int...	charlescharles	3	623	Aug 1, 2008 by Jen
	Family members (Preview) Dear All, I didn't get the job I went for on monday but am not too put out. It was not for me. My sister rang yesterday, having just arrived in the country, no warning, as usual, but this time, I set some boundaries. I pointed out that this method of arrival was not convenient and that I wished that she would n...	maire rua	5	496	Aug 1, 2008 by Jen
	1st Face to Face, give me a break..lol (Preview) Finally, after pushing myself, and I mean really pushing myself, I was going to attend my 1st face to face this evening. And the whole way there, I was thinking........... This bites that I have to get out of my cozy house and go to this meeting. Ugh...I don't want to have to walk in there. This is crazy...	Sincerely	9	667	Aug 1, 2008 by humeyayu
	Is he an alcoholic? (Preview) My husband has been drinking all of his adult life. He is 62 years old. This is a typical work day for him. He gets home around 4:00pm, has three Vodka Martinis. Then at dinner around 6:00pm he has a glass of wine with dinner. After dinner he drinks a Scotch and Water. Then he drinks a beer. Then he drinks ano...	calicoconnie123	6	606	Jul 31, 2008 by humeyayu
	Confused and scared (Preview) Hi, I am still looking for a permanent job its been almost a year. Have been working with some temp. agencies and have managed to stay temporarily for about nine months. My last assignment ended about a month ago. My mothers estate was settled a few months ago and I have been using that just to pay the esse...	binohio	4	411	Jul 31, 2008 by glad
	Grrr... I hate confrontations! (Preview) I am having a particularly overwhelming problem that is greatly interfereing with my serenity. My neighbors just had a bunch of work done on the road and apparently think I am going to help pay for it. I feel like they think they have some right to spend my money, not that I have any to spend. They just got t...	Jen	7	457	Jul 31, 2008 by Jen
	Finally, my new computer is in! (Preview) I have a bit of a drive today (140 miles round trip) to pick it up, but that is okay. Hopefully I can start participating over here more now! The laptop has been rife with problems, not to mention the fact I need new trifocals and have been squinting at the small 14.5" screen on this thing! My Vocatio...	Tenderheartsks	1	446	Jul 31, 2008 by Mandy123
	New to the group!!! (Preview) Ohh not sure how this all works... Am feeling really comforted having been this site for the first time today tho!! Was referred to Al-anon by my therapist who thought maybe my issues were related to being an adult child of an alcoholic....wow!!! There ia actually a term for it I am in awe. I think I must h...	Kitten	9	464	Jul 31, 2008 by Kitten
	I Broke Down and Called My Son (Preview) I have not called him since he went on a drinking binge and was put in jail for a DUI. It seems like it has been a few weeks but truthfully I do not know. I try hard to focus on my life, my younger son and when I catch myself slippping I say a prayer for him and then move on. Today I thought I should call though, jus...	MomGayle42	4	551	Jul 31, 2008 by stariana
	heart attack (Preview) You think after having a heart attack that you'd stop drinking, not my husband, he hasn't changed his ways in spite of his doctors advice. I am cooking and eating "heart healthy" and have even made the kids, but my husband is even cheating on that. I am so discusted with him. Not even a heart...	Alone	7	557	Jul 31, 2008 by Alone
	If I'm really as sick as my secrets... (Preview) I think one of the hardest things for me in recovery is knowing in my head and heart what is right, but still be completely unable, or maybe I should say unwilling to change my behavior. Hey, that sounds familiar, huh? I heard a AA speaker once who talked about his craziness in early sobriety and how he had...	Loupiness	9	1033	Jul 31, 2008 by Maria123
	maybe this is silly...but it still makes me anxious.. (Preview) I have something on my mind this morning that I need to write. Maybe just to vent and get it out, that usually helps. I know it is silly, but maybe not. This particular situation has given me great anxiety in the past as well as caused many problems for me and bf whenever these people are involved....	mslouise	7	722	Jul 31, 2008 by Jerry F
	Where to start (Preview) As a brand new member, I am looking for some advice. I am sure there are others out there like me. My 19 year old daughter has been using drugs on and off for a year. She has tried to be clean at least 4 x that I am aware of. She has completed one inpatient rehabilitation program and used again within a mont...	Mommaceda	8	505	Jul 31, 2008 by Libby
	Can't open chatroom door ! (Preview) Does anyone know what the problem might be ? I couldn't get into the room tonight, only to this board. I tried for 40 minutes, over and over, and it wouldn't load all the way. Patience, patience... pw	wp	6	364	Jul 30, 2008 by wp
	post traumatic stress disorder (Preview) I feel like there have been irreversable changes inside me. The fear, anger, lonliness, betrayal ect... like it's all built up and when (if it's ever) over I wont be the same again.	RainyJamie	10	1275	Jul 30, 2008 by Phebe
	Is this really a dilemma? (Preview) I am hoping that by posting, I may process my thoughts a bit and feel better about what I think I need to do. For years, I primarily stayed home with my kids and helped a bit with our business. I did a bit of per diem work in my field of education, filling in for vacations and assisting during busy times. In Go...	Loupiness	5	834	Jul 30, 2008 by Jean4444
	??RE: ALANON?? (Preview) Can you please tell me the purpose of Alanon? Is it to help me to take care of me? And to learn how not to take on the Alcoholic's problems? Please help me see the light. Thanks, Roxygirl	roxygirl	7	597	Jul 30, 2008 by abbyal
	detaching (Preview) Today I had to detach from something at work. I did it so well! I am so happy I am no longer just one long non stop reaction person. One of my colleagues is devastated.I really tried to model detachment for her but reaction is what she knows. I know I was there. I choose to be more functional these days. I k...	maresie	4	486	Jul 30, 2008 by maresie
	Having a hard time coping (Preview) I am fairly new here and my husband is an alcoholic. He has tried to cut back on his drinking, but the thing is that I don't like to be around him when he does not drink. On the days he does not drink, he just lays around and is very high strung. The days that he does drink, by the end of the night I can't stand t...	cbu03	7	630	Jul 30, 2008 by Loupiness
	Am I really better? (Preview) I keep wondering this to myself. Last week I got the renewal letter for my lease, it had fill in the blank dates for how long I wanted to stay. One year is up and I found myself filling it out for another year but putting it in my drawer. I was entertaining thoughts of moving to a strange new place, finding...	carolinagirl	4	398	Jul 30, 2008 by maire rua
	Is he ashamed of me and his son? (Preview) My A husband has put me through hell for the last 7 years. I can't understand why I don't hate him and have a strong desire to help him. He is once again trying to quit, mostly I think because he is afraid I am going to take his only son and go back home which is 1200 miles from here. I don't understand his attitu...	onestep@atime	2	3411	Jul 29, 2008 by lin0606
	New here... in crisis. (Preview) I just found this forum as I sat here trying to figure out what to do next. My A husband was sober for about 4 yrs and relapsed a month or so ago. He went into rehab and got out last week. He went right back to using/drinking. I confronted him today when I realized and now I'm at an impass. I want to leave, I want...	Dragongirl777	5	1200	Jul 29, 2008 by stariana
	Just starting out here (Preview) My son 19 has been binge drinking for a month. Also on anti-depressants. The result is what you guys of course know all about. He is not violent to me or my son 15 but is putting himself at great risk, stealing, smashing things, blacking out, blames the medication, doesn't want to stop drinking. I am cons...	Libby	4	796	Jul 29, 2008 by Libby
	What a Difference 6 Months Made! (Preview) Hello Strangers!! <LOL> It has been 6 months since I've been able to log-in to post anything becuz this stupid computer wouldn't let me without "cookies en- abled"??? Whatever that is! <LOL> But...here it is almost 2:30am and I'm sooo awake and ex...	afmom03	1	491	Jul 29, 2008 by glad
	denial (Preview) my AB has been sober for a couple of weeks since I no longer have lots of drama alot of feelings are coming to the surface and I am turning in to a provocker He still has not drank as far as I am aware. You see when he drinks and goes missing I think he cheats i have caught him once and tried to get over it. But some...	Tracy	3	453	Jul 29, 2008 by kitty
	tomorrow (Preview) Hi All Well I needed to vent and I hear this is a better place than the A in our lives to vent. As some of you know I moved out from my A last Wednesday and I dont know if I have mentioned it before but even high he always been an awesome father. He has always been an awesome father...well after saying that when...	mo14	5	429	Jul 29, 2008 by norwood
	another good day (Preview) Today was the first day I did not worry about what he was doing, what he was thinking, and I did not obsess over anything that was going on today. I was able to go through the day without being upset, worried, or sad. We had a nice dinner together, laughed together. He is starting to open up more and I know it a...	buick23	1	342	Jul 29, 2008 by mslouise
	Why Do I Always Do This? (Preview) Why am I always attracted to men who are not available to me.....either physically or emotionally...... I talked to my soon to be ex AH one evening this past week. He gave me a copy of the dissolution papers to look over. I really did OK with it, I didn't cry or come home and have to take nerve pills. In fac...	Becky1	1	568	Jul 29, 2008 by debilyn
	God works in mysterious ways (Preview) Some of you may remember that I am going to start college this fall and finally complete my degree, two degrees actually. I will get an associate of arts, and an associate of applied science in medical information technology. That will allow me to work as a biller/coder, a transcriptionist, a variety...	Tenderheartsks	3	511	Jul 28, 2008 by Tenderheartsks
	New and need help (Preview) I just found this place from a search engine after having one of the worst days of my life. My live-in boyfriend of ten years is an alcoholic, and has gotten progressively more moody and unpredictable over the past year and a half. Today, he got so mad at me and his kids (13 and 19) that he scared us all by sm...	lostgirl	8	473	Jul 28, 2008 by theresawebb14
	alright gang, talk me off the ledge here (Preview) I was just asked out! I am a nervous wreck. I said "just as friends, right?" He responds yes, I don't know where I am going in my life. This guy is my neighbor. We've been talking just in passing often. Every once in a while, we chat for a while about "life." I am pretty sure this g...	Maria123	14	760	Jul 28, 2008 by wp
	Some days it's all too much...and I get overwhelmed... (Preview) and then I feel I cannot cope with any of it even though I am conscious that I am leaning on my HP and letting go, letting God. I have spent the last two weeks taking phone call after phone call and reading text after text and hearing my daughter's sadness; it seems that she will never to happy, never be love...	Suzannah	5	913	Jul 28, 2008 by Suzannah
	the smoking gun (Preview) I never understood how people could go searching for the "smoking gun", and yet there I went on my search and found what I was looking for. I had all the pointers to my qualifier's drinking problems, but it wasn't enough. She ended it over a year aog and I am moving on and working my program. ...	norwood	6	780	Jul 28, 2008 by Maria123
	Change (Preview) I guess I am looking for some hope here, but I just wondered- once again- if anyone ever sees thier A. I know I have asked this question before- forgive me. My As mom and I have been talking that he really seems to think that when he gets out of jail his life and himself are going to be different. But, it's li...	Codependent	8	518	Jul 28, 2008 by Codependent
	lightbulb moment (Preview) Once again, I've picked up the book "codependent no more". I'm in the middle of the part "feel your own feelings". As I started reading about "repressing feelings" and what that can do for people I saw a connection between those feelings and my Asober. "we lose...	buick23	6	510	Jul 28, 2008 by maresie
	I finally did it (long and kinda rant-y, I guess) (Preview) I finally stood up for myself to the A who has been treating me like crap for a few months (after weaseling back into my life even though he humiliated at the beginning of the year). I told him I wouldn't keep coming over when he called after hanging out with other people (lately a girl he swears he's not sle...	SmallSteps	3	577	Jul 28, 2008 by maresie
	sad news ( 1 2 ) (Preview) Dear MIP Family, A week ago today my hubby passed away. I lost my best friend...my soulmate. My heart is broken. I have been taken it an hour and sometimes a minute at a time. He was the kindest and gentlest man I have ever known. He passed peacefully which was how he lived his life. I find some comfo...	carosie	43	1361	Jul 28, 2008 by carolinagirl
	whirlwind! (Preview) This week was a whirlwind and I am left breathless. My VATS surgery of 7/14 has not left me sick. I am doing OK. BUT this week a phone call from the cancer center saying: "We want you to come in on August 6 to discuss chemo."......I was totally undone as I had just prayed so hard never to have to...	joyoma	2	329	Jul 28, 2008 by Gailey
	gratefully thankful (Preview) ...for all the kind words and suggestions..much appreciated i have little feed back for others at this point...guess i am so wrapped up and emeshed in my own world...i think this is a negative character trait but for now this is all i've got my heart and head seem to be getting more and more on the same pag...	charlescharles	5	441	Jul 27, 2008 by lin0606
	The Lawn Sale (Preview) I had a lawn sale today. I did it all by myself. I hate selling my stuff, it is just so awkward. I had a hard time hanging up the signs because I feel like someone is going to yell at me. But I did it. And it went well, the neighbors came out and chatted, that was great. I made a bit of money (which I need so badly)....	serendipity	8	674	Jul 27, 2008 by Becky1
	Update on move (Preview) Hi All, Well I know in my last post I mentioned I was moving on Friday...well life changes sometimes and I moved Wednesday instead. The two days before I left my A called me everything in his vocabulary to make me feel bad about myself. I did something back that I would never have believed I would......	mo14	2	310	Jul 27, 2008 by Becky1
	Six (or Thirty?) Years Later and I Still........... (Preview) Continue to have the best possible doctors ( more than one! ), counselors on board for my healthcare team. I cannot stress enough how stress has played a role in my life......... from a thyroid imbalance through living with an alcoholic, and hormonal changes (pms to menopause). Stress can...	wallsal55	1	493	Jul 26, 2008 by nmike
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.