The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi all, I'm 18 and currently living at home with my alcoholic mother and younger brother. My mum's been through the hard work and pain of detox several times, has been admitted to hospital and been told by doctors that she has 2 years to live unless she sticks to being tee-total - which she never does.
Things were going great until a couple of weeks ago - she managed to stay sober for around 3 weeks and I was so relieved and proud of her, but then one day completely out of the blue my little brother found 2 massive empty bottles of vodka and things became unbearable again. I know I am cruel and selfish to say this, but I have had enough of her now and I am sick of looking after my brother and the house all by myself and at this moment in time I wouldn't care if she lived or died I am that used to and sick of her treating me badly. I am so lucky to have a boyfriend to support me but this is overwhelming now I can't deal with it anymore I've got my own life to think about :( sorry for ranting and saying some horrible things but it helps to have places like this where I can blurt out what I'm feeling xxx
Hi ((((((((b)))))))))) <---- hugs, welcome to Miracles in Progress (MIP),
No need to apologize to us for "feeling your feelings." We so understand in so many ways even if we don't share your particular situation. So glad you found us. This is the place to vent, rant, what have you. It's also good to read other's stories.
Have you considered going to an Alanon meeting? They are awesome! There's also a really good daily reader called "One Day at a Time in Alanon" which gives you daily exposure to dealing with alcoholism.
3 C's - you didn't Cause alcoholism, you cannot Cure the alcoholism, you cannot Control the alcoholism. These reminders help me realize, it's not my fault.
Keep coming, keep sharing.
love in recovery, Maria
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If I am not for me, who will be? If I am only for myself, then who am I? If not now, when?
I wanted to welcome you to MIP. I know being around an A is very hard to deal with. I went tru it for years and finally my A is sober (I hope it will stay that way). I know what it is like to feel hopeless, hurt, and at the end of the rope. Being a part of MIP has helped me a lot so far. I can understand that taking care of your brother and the house is a lot to deal with but I am glad your little brother has you and you have a boyfriend who supports you.
there were many times when i wished my alcoholic wife would've just died. it would've been easier, and a relief. sounds like you are sick and tired of being the "parent"... good! If I could give you 1 piece of unsolicated advice, it would be: NO! is a full and complete sentence.
and that doesn't have to be just for her... anytime someone has bad behavior toward you, you have the RIGHT to say "NO!"
with love and hope, cj
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time to stop going to the hardware store to buy bread.
Please don't apologize for saying how u feel ,living with a A is not easy and unfortuantley due to circumstances u have had to grow up alot faster than most ad taken on the responsibility of looking after yur yournger brother . Your right u do have a right to a life of yur own your old enough now to attend Al-Anon meetings please go for your sake and your brothers meet people like yourself who will share what they have learned to better them selves while leaving the alcoholic to live their lives as they choose this is a disease and at the moment it is running your mothers life there is nothing u can do about that , but there is alot u can do for yourself , you will learn to detach with love not anger and with understanding comes freedom . You may feel more comfortable in a Alateen meeting for yourself and yur brother yu can attend those meetings until u are 19 . call 1-888-4alanon and see if there is one in your area . It is a toll free international number lines are open from 8am -8 pm Mon - friday . Louise
Welcome to our MIP family. You will find much help and encouragement here. We share our ESH Experience, Strength and Hope.
I too want to encourage you to attend an Al Anon meeting. I grew up in an alcoholic home. It was so hard to deal with at times. I never had the tools I have obtained from AlAnon to help me cope with it all.
I wish that I had been involved with Al Anon so many years ago. I can see that a lot of things in my life probably would have turned out differently if I had sought some help back then.
Keep coming back. We are always here for you.
Love,
Claudia
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A person's a person no matter how small --Dr Suess
You are so worth taking care of...and you have to do that...take care of YOU. You are not a mother, you are a young lady just beginning life and you need a life of your own.
As CJ says, NO is a complete sentence, however you will find that hard because you are a compassionate and caring sister. I feel that you will find it difficult to step out of that role with a mother that is so ill, and I think that you are in need of support.
You will find that support in al-anon, so seek out meetings as soon as possible and go there. Listen, share, ask, talk, vent your anger and take the love that will be shared with you. Do not be ashamed, do not worry, just go and take the support and care that will certainly come your way. Learn from those in the meeting and begin to arm yourself with knowledge and understanding to walk this path as you and not the surrogate mother to your brother.
Take one day at a time and keep coming back here to share with this family for we will understand. And, remember first of all that there is nothing for you to apologise for.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Glad you are here. It is quite okay to be angry here and to come here and express your emotions. No one here is going to coulda woulda shoulda you. I am still angry at my parents and I am middle aged and both my parents are dead. Some of us have lots of issues to work through.
I hope you will give al anon a shot. I came here a few years ago and found great great solace.
I am a regular now and my life is very very different.
You got ripped off...! All kids have the right to be nurtured, charished and cared for. You have nothing to apologize for.... I would be (and was )angry as hell myself at your age. However you have a younger sibling added to the stress... I am so sorry! I hope you find the help and nurturing you need through these groups. I'm very impressed you have reached out!
