Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I absolutely LOVE quotes, and use them often in my photo editing, etc... While reading today I came across one that really touched me and made me stop and count my blessings. "The purpose of life, is a life of purpose". I have no idea who said it first but they were obviously a very wise person...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello everyone. I have a bad habit--and I could use a little help. On my facebook account, I have two "friends" who are close to my ex ABF. Every now and then, I cannot help but check their pages or comments (which pop up under my account). This is how I "check up" on the A. Mind yo...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

Yes, it's come to me, another startling, yet painfully obvious moment of truth: I feel like I have too much responsibility and I can't handle it. Real life stuff like kids, house, car, pets, ect. Insurance and taxes on all of the above. I was thinking about getting pet insurance. I'm not going to, but it...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

just a short note to let y'all know that I am getting better! The stress is starting to lift. I am so grateful. My HP is in the center of my life & I have gratitude that comes from him. Keep coming back--it will work! Kathleen

lastchance · lastchance

I am very new to this and have been reading some posts and not sure I can or will find help here. All I really know is that I have been living my life like this for so long that the depression meds and everything else I try dont even work anylonger. I have been here for so long that I have no self esteem, respec...

jewely · jewely

i woke up this morning with old thoughts in my new [alanon] head. memories of stories i had been told, memories of stories i had lived. it began a long time ago. a young woman known as N, married at age 18 a man twenty years her senior. this union, was to be the beginnig of a short life for her and a long life for...

debilyn · debilyn

I know you would think by now I would be "over it" or "cured" sadly no. The last two months of surgeries, tooth pulled, injury to my leg and on and on. I have to take pain med. HATE it. Feels so frustrating that nothing works, I mean legs, fingers, hands, head. Fixing a fence gate, wha...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Up and down like a yoyo. One minute I am okay, the next I am sobbing. So much unfinished business between me and my papa. Each time I eat I am sick, so I am trying to keep the fluids up. Feel empty and lost and lacklustre. It is hard enough just getting up everyday and my crutches feel like they weigh ten tons r...

kevbo65 · kevbo65

Just found this forum. two weeks ago I got a DUI and then plead guuilty. I now realize that I need treatment. I go in next Saturday. Im a successful high school teacher and a father. I guess I need some advice on what to tell my children and my students about my treatment. Thanks

Rora · Rora

I've been here before, but not for a while now... though the story remains the same. My Ah left again tonight. This time though I don't have a clue where he went. Things have been rough, for a long time, but the past week, lots and lots of sadness within me and hopeless "discussions" with him....

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have some court-related divorce stuff to deal with this week. I have a judge who is siding with my ex, massively and unfairly. I have an attny who costs alot and doesnt give a rip. I live 1000 miles from where all the court stuff is happening and cannot get there to deal with stuff more directly w/o quitti...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

The morning started at 8am with one of our renters filing a "formal complaint" against me-accusing me of calling Animal Control on his dog (I did not, and in fact am a VERY big animal lover-3 cats, 4 kittens and 3 dogs to date reside in my bed (s) nightly. It went from that to "trying&qu...

soconfused · soconfused

Well, here's a new one he's come up w/, and I'm either too dumb to accept it as an excuse or is it valid? ABF has always been lazy, sleeps 90 % of the day, blows off work and me and children and then can be the overactive attentive BF. Well he relapsed a couple weeks a go. Lost yet another job and is now wanting to...

soconfused · soconfused

Being a huge co-dependent I heard this song the other day...boy does it strike a soft spot for me...If interested, google it and listen. Alter Bridge "Watch over you"

Owl · Owl

Hi, new here but not new to alcoholism. A little background: my mom is an A (for 14 years)....not sure how she's still alive actually. About 3 years ago we build a MIL suite in our backyard for her. She could no longer take care of herself, and do the necessary things that go along with living on your own. I a...

reef999 · reef999

Hi everyone, So I've only been going to Al Anon meetings for about 6 weeks now and my Abf has been sober for about 2 weeks....longest since we've been together. Life is great.....but now I find I'm even more scared!! Why???!!!! I keep waiting for that first drink to happen. Even though his drinking...

joyoma · joyoma

I received bad news today after I had the MRI done on my leg. The tumor I had removed back in June 2007 (synovial sarcoma) is back.....different position and very small right now. It has developed in my right buttock just at the point where the original incision began. I am upset, of course, but I shou...

maire rua · maire rua

I have had quite a bad night, with thoughts running away from me and feelings somewhat out of control. It started with two phone calls from my father's house. It was not his terminally ill wife that was the problem but my A brother who is being rendered homeless as his place is a fire hazard. He has been sor...

stariana · stariana

Hi all - it's been a while since I've been on here, but it's so nice to know I can sign on at a moments notice, and will find a group of understanding people any time. Brief background for those who don't know me... daughter and wife of alcoholic/addicts. Grew up resentful, and married due to extenuatin...

maresie · maresie

The holidays are coming and I am working on making better choices. Last night I was in a store which was full of the Thanksgiving fare. How I craved to have a decent Thanskgiving with the ex. I would always ask him every year to try to make it special, he never ever could of course but I asked! I went full fo...

kellys_angels · kellys_angels

I've been married to my soulmate for 16 years. The past 10 years the lies and mood swings have been sucking every inch of life out of me. I know I need to get better for me and our children. I know I am taking one step at a time. I know my HP has given me the strength to come this far. I know I am opening a new do...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello everyone, I wasn't able to make my F2F meeting last night bc I am not feeling well. I was diagnosed with Lymes in September, treated for it, and I think I am relapsing. The DR wanted to put me in the hospital today for two days to run all sorts of tests, etc. I am not in the hospital now, nor do I plan on g...

Christy · Christy

My husband and son are going to upper Michigan to go hunting together. To most people it's pretty uneventful. To me, it's pure joy :) My son has waited for this for a literal lifetime. To be with his Dad. Some background: I didn't allow my son to go anywhere with his Dad because of the drinking. Whe...

joyoma · joyoma

Today marks almost the end of very hard week. I have had the grandbaby since Friday afternoon; his Dad (my son) moved in lock, stock, and barrel to be here also. My spouse had back to back surgeries last Wednesday/Thursday; he came home weak and spent Friday. So here I am with a very active toddler wea...

nocontrol · nocontrol

Im new to alanon & to this forum, but not new to alcoholism. I was married 21 years to an A & it took me 15 years to get the courage to leave. Now I am again with an A, who does not like my teenage son & vice versa. When I met him he was in recovery & was a wonderful man. However, he is back to th...

Tracy · Tracy

I have not posted for a while thought I would come and update everyone I have been in Alanon for 1 year soon and wow what a change progression not perfection still have a long way to go but the more I attend meeting, read literaure, ring my sponser and do the footwork the better my life is becoming. I just wa...

Roxie345 · Roxie345

Miracles In Progress Al-Anon Monthly Business Meeting Sunday October 5th, 2008 Chair opened with Serenity Prayer. September 2008 Minutes voted on and accepted. OP Meeting Schedule posted; there were two updates- voted on and accepted. Elections: Current chair accepted the position f...

NewMom07 · NewMom07

Hey Everyone, I finally left my A, after seeing him go from bad to worst. And I'm having a hard time dealing with the whole situation, so I hope you don't mind if I vent.... I am hurt most because we have a 10 month old baby girl. Most of the time I cry, it's because of her. I feel bad for bringing her into the wor...

thetalady · thetalady

I've gotten to the point where I am indifferent to my ah's drinking. If he wants to throw his life down the tubes, so be it. I'm not going to stop living. In a sense, I think he resents the fact that I'm not sitting around wasting away with him. The more I become independent, the more he tries to hold on tighte...

nmike · nmike

Hi Alanoners, I just got back from a sporting event - competing in my age group. I missed last year because of my shoulder surgery and really wanted to go this year. My work didn't approve my leave until the last minute so I called around and friends got me on a team (Canadians no less Canadian Guy!). We pla...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

My AH used to drive and I didn't. I have a friend that would sometimes need us to feed her dogs while she was away. After awhile I just had her check with AH since he was the one driving, he would need to know the schedule. That was before he started drinking. After he started drinking he has become very untru...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family !! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend and only peace of mind and serenity surrounded you. My weekend was wierd...uh different in many ways and a little off balance. Thanks to the program I can use "little off" today and not anything more.Truck is fixed...that's a biggie an...

mema · mema

I have been in a relationship with an intellegent, successful ABF for over 6 years. He transferred to my town and we met and have been together since that time. He has a very financially high end job as did I the entire time we have been together. I knew in my heart he was an A with all the chaos in my life a...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Although I havent posted in a while, I have still visited the board to read your posts. I havent spoken with my ex A B/F in, well, I dont remember how long. Its been a while though. As a matter of fact I have for the most part backed away from anyone remotely connected to him. I just needed to, for my own sa...

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Have just accessed recent posts as I have been away from you all for a couple of days, whilst my partners been home for the first time in over three months. This quote from Jerry F, really hit home, it sums up how way off the mark I've been. "that to place this need for validation on t...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

For those I talked to in chat last week you know I was just about at my wits end with EVERYTHING! I was sooooooo proud and felt sooooooooo strong that I had kept it together for sooooo many years and not counted on anyone, little did I realize that the "fall" was going to be soooo rough. ...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello all! I find that Mondays are the hardest day of the week for me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's bc my f2f meetings are on Tuesdays and I rely on them to get me through the majority of the week??? It seems that Monday is the day that I become most nostalgic, too. I am logical about why my ex Abf and I not toge...

maresie · maresie

I was just going through my emails because I need to cut the size of my mail box down. This year I have very very little money (less than I had last year). At the same time what I do have which I didn't have last year is no contact at all with the A. No more trying to make some dent in his never ending chaos, no...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Abf is finally in an impatient program. He flew to Florida on Friday and is in good hands for the next six weeks...or five, if he has anything to say about it. We made arrangements for him while he was in a local detox facility, and the morning he was leaving, he found out it was a six week progra...

maire rua · maire rua

As some of you know, my step mom A has been diagnosed as being terminally ill with a brain tumour. Tonight my father, an A, rang and said she is deteriorating and he needs to sort things out, legal, etc. I offered to look on her from 2 tomorrow while he does this. He started talking about power of attorney et...

masspedirn · masspedirn

The tug of war I've been having with myself over step 3- turning ourselves over to HP has really hit home this past week. In a previous post I had informed the board that I was feeling guilty about sticking to boundries I had put in place when my ABFSober moved back in. I moved him out last weekend after he cr...

nalani · nalani

So tomorrow I'm going to the other side of the island to spend the weekend with my family. Now, for most people in Hawai'i this isn't unusual and by "family" we usually mean uncles, aunties, cousins, siblings, parents, etc etc etc. But this weekend it's just the immediate family: my mom, he...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I went on vacation with my 2 sisters (The Middle Child and The Baby). I was worried that we would get on each others nerves. I was right. Well the two of them fought and The Middle Child left the vacation early because of it. The Middle Child was drinking and she lashed out at The Baby. She said some really n...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have received a settlement from my AH's attorney. If you can call it that. I get NOTHING at all. Nada. AND he is demanding I pay him $2000 in attorney's fees. I am so furious. I put my sweat and heart and soul into renovating that crack house by his side. I lived in construction hell for two solid years. I...

Maria123 · Maria123

Absolutely nothing ! (ha ha) Our last business meeting for Miracles in Progress was on doing service but this applies broadly to any type of service be it on the message board (replying to posts, posting thought-provoking posts, sharing your experience, strength and hope) or be it in the chat room (s...

renee12 · renee12

Newbie here. Just wanted to say again that I'm so glad to be here. I'm reading so much that I can relate to and glad to know that I'm not the only one. I'm focusing on me today and praying for guidance from hp. Thanks for your support.

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((all))) Sorry to ask but I need you all with me, am feeling very unsure and anxious. My Abf is coming home tomorrow from rehab for a 3 day visit. A few short weeks ago I would have given anything to have time with him, but now I'm really confused. He'd asked me not to contact him after being advised by...

buick23 · buick23

Haven't been on here in a while. My mom is here visiting and I see those red flags appear at times. She is taking my inventory at times and it really bothers me. She is a great person and I feel bad for talking about her like this. She is not intentionally saying anything that makes me see those red flags, and...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I just had to share this quick funny, not haha but ironic, story. My AH just called asking me to look in his pants pockets for $400 he brought home from work last night. Well it wasn't there. He was very concnerned about this money because it was from a deal he did last night (car dealership). I had noted las...

maresie · maresie

I have been working on my charactor traits and one huge one is procrastination. So today I started working on my debt (considerable) and make some calls (which of course I have been putting off for months). I have hard times ahead to pay these few bills. Then next thing in my email box is a note asking me t...

renee12 · renee12

I'm new to ALANON. I've have visited the site in the past but never actually logged on. I'm very glad that is here. I'm in desperate needs for words of encouragement. I'm determined to leave my A this time. It's the same thing all over again. He's in jail for a DUI. Even before that he hasn't helped me ra...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm having that discontent rut feeling again. What does it mean? I wonder if it's just my need to have some chaos or if I really am trying to make things "better". I want to move, start over somewhere new, find a new job, etc. I fully believe that my location is a large factor in not being abl...

henny71 · henny71

I am writing as a new member and would love to read any thoughts/ideas from anyone with similar experiences. My husband is an alcoholic -- a periodic binge drinker--and has been this way for as long as I have known him. We have been married for nine years and have two children ages 5 and 7. My AH's father...

maresie · maresie

I was in a department store yesterday and for the first time when I was going by the mens' department I thought about the A casually. So a few things came up for me. First of all I think I gave physically, materially and emotionally seventy thousand times more than the A gave me. I know this probably sound...

Jerry F · Jerry F

it was safe to go into the water... No this isn't a recap of "Jaws". I offered myself up to the gods of relapse and got hooked. Happened so fast and with all of my help that I almost got a high on the adrenalin. All I had to do was go to the airport and pick up my wife from an incoming flight after at...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well as you can see by the topic icon I really don't know where I fit in anymore. I used to really think I had it altogether or got it back together after my divorce from a very abusive functioning A years ago.......today I find myself in a relationship with a sober A (he has 10 yrs sober) and after a rocky...

kissers · kissers

The past couple jobs I have had were horrible. I feel like I have to lie on the interview because the stories are so horrible and I feel shameful for what has happened. Being a single mother with no child support is no picnic in the work world. This is not a self pity statement; just the truth. Got my first re...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well I dont really know if this on topic or not but not to mention I have my husbands drinking to deal with, ( he has been dry now for 3 weeks ) and all that drama, now my 18 year old daughter has moved back home.. A brief history on her, she is an addict and well HUGE drama queen, literally. She has been in and ou...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Hello Family!! I am stuck deciding how I want to handle this situation I am in. My AH just had a heart cath, which resulted in an agioplasty then a stent. Now that he "feels" better he has gone back to drinking and smoking. So what's new? I knew in the hospital that he would go back. His mom was so d...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, It finally happened!...abf is going into a 30 day treatment facility! I couldnt be happier, or more scared. He checked himself into a program (detox 3-5 day) and felt that after he is released from there, he could continue to "do it on his own" with outpatient therapy and AA....

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	"The purpose of life" (Preview) I absolutely LOVE quotes, and use them often in my photo editing, etc... While reading today I came across one that really touched me and made me stop and count my blessings. "The purpose of life, is a life of purpose". I have no idea who said it first but they were obviously a very wise person...	shellyj123	5	561	Oct 27, 2008 by Hoot Nanny
	Having a hard time... (Preview) Hello everyone. I have a bad habit--and I could use a little help. On my facebook account, I have two "friends" who are close to my ex ABF. Every now and then, I cannot help but check their pages or comments (which pop up under my account). This is how I "check up" on the A. Mind yo...	hopeful123	5	615	Oct 26, 2008 by Fifi
	Revelation #9672 (Preview) Yes, it's come to me, another startling, yet painfully obvious moment of truth: I feel like I have too much responsibility and I can't handle it. Real life stuff like kids, house, car, pets, ect. Insurance and taxes on all of the above. I was thinking about getting pet insurance. I'm not going to, but it...	RainyJamie	3	714	Oct 26, 2008 by Christy
	I am getting well again! (Preview) just a short note to let y'all know that I am getting better! The stress is starting to lift. I am so grateful. My HP is in the center of my life & I have gratitude that comes from him. Keep coming back--it will work! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	3	512	Oct 26, 2008 by Jerry F
	HELP (Preview) I am very new to this and have been reading some posts and not sure I can or will find help here. All I really know is that I have been living my life like this for so long that the depression meds and everything else I try dont even work anylonger. I have been here for so long that I have no self esteem, respec...	lastchance	3	572	Oct 26, 2008 by Jerry F
	forgive (Preview) i woke up this morning with old thoughts in my new [alanon] head. memories of stories i had been told, memories of stories i had lived. it began a long time ago. a young woman known as N, married at age 18 a man twenty years her senior. this union, was to be the beginnig of a short life for her and a long life for...	jewely	10	630	Oct 26, 2008 by ddub
	no one else would understand (Preview) I know you would think by now I would be "over it" or "cured" sadly no. The last two months of surgeries, tooth pulled, injury to my leg and on and on. I have to take pain med. HATE it. Feels so frustrating that nothing works, I mean legs, fingers, hands, head. Fixing a fence gate, wha...	debilyn	8	628	Oct 26, 2008 by ddub
	Just here... (Preview) Up and down like a yoyo. One minute I am okay, the next I am sobbing. So much unfinished business between me and my papa. Each time I eat I am sick, so I am trying to keep the fluids up. Feel empty and lost and lacklustre. It is hard enough just getting up everyday and my crutches feel like they weigh ten tons r...	Suzannah	5	565	Oct 26, 2008 by ddub
	Going to treatment (Preview) Just found this forum. two weeks ago I got a DUI and then plead guuilty. I now realize that I need treatment. I go in next Saturday. Im a successful high school teacher and a father. I guess I need some advice on what to tell my children and my students about my treatment. Thanks	kevbo65	6	818	Oct 25, 2008 by debilyn
	It's been a while... (Preview) I've been here before, but not for a while now... though the story remains the same. My Ah left again tonight. This time though I don't have a clue where he went. Things have been rough, for a long time, but the past week, lots and lots of sadness within me and hopeless "discussions" with him....	Rora	5	529	Oct 25, 2008 by Rora
	I really need your prayers this week... (Preview) I have some court-related divorce stuff to deal with this week. I have a judge who is siding with my ex, massively and unfairly. I have an attny who costs alot and doesnt give a rip. I live 1000 miles from where all the court stuff is happening and cannot get there to deal with stuff more directly w/o quitti...	Jean4444	17	696	Oct 25, 2008 by Jerry F
	Another trip to my "happy place" (Preview) The morning started at 8am with one of our renters filing a "formal complaint" against me-accusing me of calling Animal Control on his dog (I did not, and in fact am a VERY big animal lover-3 cats, 4 kittens and 3 dogs to date reside in my bed (s) nightly. It went from that to "trying&qu...	shellyj123	3	553	Oct 25, 2008 by Christy
	Bipolar excuse? (Preview) Well, here's a new one he's come up w/, and I'm either too dumb to accept it as an excuse or is it valid? ABF has always been lazy, sleeps 90 % of the day, blows off work and me and children and then can be the overactive attentive BF. Well he relapsed a couple weeks a go. Lost yet another job and is now wanting to...	soconfused	11	1895	Oct 25, 2008 by soconfused
	song for co-dependents like me (Preview) Being a huge co-dependent I heard this song the other day...boy does it strike a soft spot for me...If interested, google it and listen. Alter Bridge "Watch over you"	soconfused	1	486	Oct 25, 2008 by Christy
	Need advice about what to tell young children (Preview) Hi, new here but not new to alcoholism. A little background: my mom is an A (for 14 years)....not sure how she's still alive actually. About 3 years ago we build a MIL suite in our backyard for her. She could no longer take care of herself, and do the necessary things that go along with living on your own. I a...	Owl	5	4352	Oct 25, 2008 by Mobirdie
	Not sure if this is OK.....? (Preview) Hi everyone, So I've only been going to Al Anon meetings for about 6 weeks now and my Abf has been sober for about 2 weeks....longest since we've been together. Life is great.....but now I find I'm even more scared!! Why???!!!! I keep waiting for that first drink to happen. Even though his drinking...	reef999	7	676	Oct 25, 2008 by Karilynn
	I need your prayers, please! (Preview) I received bad news today after I had the MRI done on my leg. The tumor I had removed back in June 2007 (synovial sarcoma) is back.....different position and very small right now. It has developed in my right buttock just at the point where the original incision began. I am upset, of course, but I shou...	joyoma	12	719	Oct 24, 2008 by serendipity
	Bad night (Preview) I have had quite a bad night, with thoughts running away from me and feelings somewhat out of control. It started with two phone calls from my father's house. It was not his terminally ill wife that was the problem but my A brother who is being rendered homeless as his place is a fire hazard. He has been sor...	maire rua	6	604	Oct 24, 2008 by Jean4444
	Numb or dumb? (Preview) Hi all - it's been a while since I've been on here, but it's so nice to know I can sign on at a moments notice, and will find a group of understanding people any time. Brief background for those who don't know me... daughter and wife of alcoholic/addicts. Grew up resentful, and married due to extenuatin...	stariana	4	558	Oct 24, 2008 by stariana
	Choices (Preview) The holidays are coming and I am working on making better choices. Last night I was in a store which was full of the Thanksgiving fare. How I craved to have a decent Thanskgiving with the ex. I would always ask him every year to try to make it special, he never ever could of course but I asked! I went full fo...	maresie	4	512	Oct 23, 2008 by nmike
	Ups and Downs of being separated from AH (Preview) I've been married to my soulmate for 16 years. The past 10 years the lies and mood swings have been sucking every inch of life out of me. I know I need to get better for me and our children. I know I am taking one step at a time. I know my HP has given me the strength to come this far. I know I am opening a new do...	kellys_angels	5	774	Oct 23, 2008 by Marshmallow
	Not well and want to make contact (Preview) Hello everyone, I wasn't able to make my F2F meeting last night bc I am not feeling well. I was diagnosed with Lymes in September, treated for it, and I think I am relapsing. The DR wanted to put me in the hospital today for two days to run all sorts of tests, etc. I am not in the hospital now, nor do I plan on g...	hopeful123	4	646	Oct 23, 2008 by maresie
	Dad and son :) (Preview) My husband and son are going to upper Michigan to go hunting together. To most people it's pretty uneventful. To me, it's pure joy :) My son has waited for this for a literal lifetime. To be with his Dad. Some background: I didn't allow my son to go anywhere with his Dad because of the drinking. Whe...	Christy	11	804	Oct 23, 2008 by leo
	Having strength (Preview) Today marks almost the end of very hard week. I have had the grandbaby since Friday afternoon; his Dad (my son) moved in lock, stock, and barrel to be here also. My spouse had back to back surgeries last Wednesday/Thursday; he came home weak and spent Friday. So here I am with a very active toddler wea...	joyoma	4	655	Oct 23, 2008 by leo
	New here and struggling (Preview) Im new to alanon & to this forum, but not new to alcoholism. I was married 21 years to an A & it took me 15 years to get the courage to leave. Now I am again with an A, who does not like my teenage son & vice versa. When I met him he was in recovery & was a wonderful man. However, he is back to th...	nocontrol	5	640	Oct 23, 2008 by nocontrol
	ray of sanity (Preview) I have not posted for a while thought I would come and update everyone I have been in Alanon for 1 year soon and wow what a change progression not perfection still have a long way to go but the more I attend meeting, read literaure, ring my sponser and do the footwork the better my life is becoming. I just wa...	Tracy	3	580	Oct 23, 2008 by shellyj123
	October Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Miracles In Progress Al-Anon Monthly Business Meeting Sunday October 5th, 2008 Chair opened with Serenity Prayer. September 2008 Minutes voted on and accepted. OP Meeting Schedule posted; there were two updates- voted on and accepted. Elections: Current chair accepted the position f...	Roxie345	1	366	Oct 22, 2008 by Roxie345
	Couldn't do it anymore (Preview) Hey Everyone, I finally left my A, after seeing him go from bad to worst. And I'm having a hard time dealing with the whole situation, so I hope you don't mind if I vent.... I am hurt most because we have a 10 month old baby girl. Most of the time I cry, it's because of her. I feel bad for bringing her into the wor...	NewMom07	7	563	Oct 22, 2008 by NewMom07
	Indifference (Preview) I've gotten to the point where I am indifferent to my ah's drinking. If he wants to throw his life down the tubes, so be it. I'm not going to stop living. In a sense, I think he resents the fact that I'm not sitting around wasting away with him. The more I become independent, the more he tries to hold on tighte...	thetalady	5	742	Oct 22, 2008 by Jerry F
	To not be a martyr (Preview) Hi Alanoners, I just got back from a sporting event - competing in my age group. I missed last year because of my shoulder surgery and really wanted to go this year. My work didn't approve my leave until the last minute so I called around and friends got me on a team (Canadians no less Canadian Guy!). We pla...	nmike	11	1009	Oct 21, 2008 by ddub
	covering up (Preview) My AH used to drive and I didn't. I have a friend that would sometimes need us to feed her dogs while she was away. After awhile I just had her check with AH since he was the one driving, he would need to know the schedule. That was before he started drinking. After he started drinking he has become very untru...	RainyJamie	3	483	Oct 21, 2008 by RainyJamie
	Just when I thought...part II (Preview) Aloha Family !! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend and only peace of mind and serenity surrounded you. My weekend was wierd...uh different in many ways and a little off balance. Thanks to the program I can use "little off" today and not anything more.Truck is fixed...that's a biggie an...	Jerry F	7	696	Oct 21, 2008 by ddub
	In a Bind (Preview) I have been in a relationship with an intellegent, successful ABF for over 6 years. He transferred to my town and we met and have been together since that time. He has a very financially high end job as did I the entire time we have been together. I knew in my heart he was an A with all the chaos in my life a...	mema	3	712	Oct 21, 2008 by debilyn
	Am I demented or what..... (Preview) Although I havent posted in a while, I have still visited the board to read your posts. I havent spoken with my ex A B/F in, well, I dont remember how long. Its been a while though. As a matter of fact I have for the most part backed away from anyone remotely connected to him. I just needed to, for my own sa...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	12	798	Oct 21, 2008 by debilyn
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Hi (((All))) Have just accessed recent posts as I have been away from you all for a couple of days, whilst my partners been home for the first time in over three months. This quote from Jerry F, really hit home, it sums up how way off the mark I've been. "that to place this need for validation on t...	Mariner	4	532	Oct 21, 2008 by shellyj123
	New here and feeling better-thank you! (Preview) For those I talked to in chat last week you know I was just about at my wits end with EVERYTHING! I was sooooooo proud and felt sooooooooo strong that I had kept it together for sooooo many years and not counted on anyone, little did I realize that the "fall" was going to be soooo rough. ...	shellyj123	5	635	Oct 21, 2008 by shellyj123
	Mondays... (Preview) Hello all! I find that Mondays are the hardest day of the week for me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's bc my f2f meetings are on Tuesdays and I rely on them to get me through the majority of the week??? It seems that Monday is the day that I become most nostalgic, too. I am logical about why my ex Abf and I not toge...	hopeful123	4	376	Oct 21, 2008 by hopeful123
	Peace (Preview) I was just going through my emails because I need to cut the size of my mail box down. This year I have very very little money (less than I had last year). At the same time what I do have which I didn't have last year is no contact at all with the A. No more trying to make some dent in his never ending chaos, no...	maresie	3	604	Oct 20, 2008 by Maria123
	The waiting game (Preview) Hello all, Abf is finally in an impatient program. He flew to Florida on Friday and is in good hands for the next six weeks...or five, if he has anything to say about it. We made arrangements for him while he was in a local detox facility, and the morning he was leaving, he found out it was a six week progra...	liljeannie	4	671	Oct 20, 2008 by liljeannie
	am I being reeled in? (Preview) As some of you know, my step mom A has been diagnosed as being terminally ill with a brain tumour. Tonight my father, an A, rang and said she is deteriorating and he needs to sort things out, legal, etc. I offered to look on her from 2 tomorrow while he does this. He started talking about power of attorney et...	maire rua	1	543	Oct 20, 2008 by maresie
	Program sinking in; finding some calm among all the chaos (Preview) The tug of war I've been having with myself over step 3- turning ourselves over to HP has really hit home this past week. In a previous post I had informed the board that I was feeling guilty about sticking to boundries I had put in place when my ABFSober moved back in. I moved him out last weekend after he cr...	masspedirn	2	494	Oct 20, 2008 by masspedirn
	An entire weekend .. with my family ... (Preview) So tomorrow I'm going to the other side of the island to spend the weekend with my family. Now, for most people in Hawai'i this isn't unusual and by "family" we usually mean uncles, aunties, cousins, siblings, parents, etc etc etc. But this weekend it's just the immediate family: my mom, he...	nalani	8	706	Oct 20, 2008 by nalani
	His first birthday (Preview) I went on vacation with my 2 sisters (The Middle Child and The Baby). I was worried that we would get on each others nerves. I was right. Well the two of them fought and The Middle Child left the vacation early because of it. The Middle Child was drinking and she lashed out at The Baby. She said some really n...	StargazerLily	2	506	Oct 20, 2008 by maresie
	rage at the lies, thanks for listening (Preview) I have received a settlement from my AH's attorney. If you can call it that. I get NOTHING at all. Nada. AND he is demanding I pay him $2000 in attorney's fees. I am so furious. I put my sweat and heart and soul into renovating that crack house by his side. I lived in construction hell for two solid years. I...	Jean4444	8	819	Oct 20, 2008 by maresie
	What does a Movie Star and doing Service work have to do with each other? (Preview) Absolutely nothing ! (ha ha) Our last business meeting for Miracles in Progress was on doing service but this applies broadly to any type of service be it on the message board (replying to posts, posting thought-provoking posts, sharing your experience, strength and hope) or be it in the chat room (s...	Maria123	1	605	Oct 19, 2008 by RLC
	Just glad (Preview) Newbie here. Just wanted to say again that I'm so glad to be here. I'm reading so much that I can relate to and glad to know that I'm not the only one. I'm focusing on me today and praying for guidance from hp. Thanks for your support.	renee12	3	577	Oct 19, 2008 by Maria123
	Need you all (Preview) Hi (((all))) Sorry to ask but I need you all with me, am feeling very unsure and anxious. My Abf is coming home tomorrow from rehab for a 3 day visit. A few short weeks ago I would have given anything to have time with him, but now I'm really confused. He'd asked me not to contact him after being advised by...	Mariner	3	494	Oct 19, 2008 by Suzannah
	here to complain and vent (Preview) Haven't been on here in a while. My mom is here visiting and I see those red flags appear at times. She is taking my inventory at times and it really bothers me. She is a great person and I feel bad for talking about her like this. She is not intentionally saying anything that makes me see those red flags, and...	buick23	7	662	Oct 18, 2008 by glad lee
	It's not funny haha, but funny ironic... (Preview) I just had to share this quick funny, not haha but ironic, story. My AH just called asking me to look in his pants pockets for $400 he brought home from work last night. Well it wasn't there. He was very concnerned about this money because it was from a deal he did last night (car dealership). I had noted las...	wildthang86	4	1606	Oct 18, 2008 by wildthang86
	HP works in mysterious ways (Preview) I have been working on my charactor traits and one huge one is procrastination. So today I started working on my debt (considerable) and make some calls (which of course I have been putting off for months). I have hard times ahead to pay these few bills. Then next thing in my email box is a note asking me t...	maresie	3	628	Oct 17, 2008 by Dale
	My First Time Here (Preview) I'm new to ALANON. I've have visited the site in the past but never actually logged on. I'm very glad that is here. I'm in desperate needs for words of encouragement. I'm determined to leave my A this time. It's the same thing all over again. He's in jail for a DUI. Even before that he hasn't helped me ra...	renee12	5	650	Oct 17, 2008 by Fifi
	Getting that urge to change everything again... (Preview) I'm having that discontent rut feeling again. What does it mean? I wonder if it's just my need to have some chaos or if I really am trying to make things "better". I want to move, start over somewhere new, find a new job, etc. I fully believe that my location is a large factor in not being abl...	carolinagirl	8	577	Oct 17, 2008 by serendipity
	New to this group and forum (Preview) I am writing as a new member and would love to read any thoughts/ideas from anyone with similar experiences. My husband is an alcoholic -- a periodic binge drinker--and has been this way for as long as I have known him. We have been married for nine years and have two children ages 5 and 7. My AH's father...	henny71	6	653	Oct 17, 2008 by Fifi
	keeping busy (Preview) I was in a department store yesterday and for the first time when I was going by the mens' department I thought about the A casually. So a few things came up for me. First of all I think I gave physically, materially and emotionally seventy thousand times more than the A gave me. I know this probably sound...	maresie	1	361	Oct 17, 2008 by Mariner
	Just when I thought.... (Preview) it was safe to go into the water... No this isn't a recap of "Jaws". I offered myself up to the gods of relapse and got hooked. Happened so fast and with all of my help that I almost got a high on the adrenalin. All I had to do was go to the airport and pick up my wife from an incoming flight after at...	Jerry F	16	1127	Oct 16, 2008 by nmike
	New here.......looking for online sponser (Preview) Well as you can see by the topic icon I really don't know where I fit in anymore. I used to really think I had it altogether or got it back together after my divorce from a very abusive functioning A years ago.......today I find myself in a relationship with a sober A (he has 10 yrs sober) and after a rocky...	shellyj123	1	517	Oct 16, 2008 by Christy
	Telling the Truth (Preview) The past couple jobs I have had were horrible. I feel like I have to lie on the interview because the stories are so horrible and I feel shameful for what has happened. Being a single mother with no child support is no picnic in the work world. This is not a self pity statement; just the truth. Got my first re...	kissers	2	685	Oct 16, 2008 by maresie
	dont know how to handle this one... very long sorry.... (Preview) Well I dont really know if this on topic or not but not to mention I have my husbands drinking to deal with, ( he has been dry now for 3 weeks ) and all that drama, now my 18 year old daughter has moved back home.. A brief history on her, she is an addict and well HUGE drama queen, literally. She has been in and ou...	princessloretta	5	593	Oct 16, 2008 by maresie
	He is going to die! I just know it. (Preview) Hello Family!! I am stuck deciding how I want to handle this situation I am in. My AH just had a heart cath, which resulted in an agioplasty then a stent. Now that he "feels" better he has gone back to drinking and smoking. So what's new? I knew in the hospital that he would go back. His mom was so d...	wildthang86	7	674	Oct 16, 2008 by wildthang86
	A glimmer of hope (Preview) Hello all, It finally happened!...abf is going into a 30 day treatment facility! I couldnt be happier, or more scared. He checked himself into a program (detox 3-5 day) and felt that after he is released from there, he could continue to "do it on his own" with outpatient therapy and AA....	liljeannie	2	378	Oct 16, 2008 by nalani
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.