Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((All))) Have just accessed recent posts as I have been away from you all for a couple of days, whilst my partners been home for the first time in over three months. This quote from Jerry F, really hit home, it sums up how way off the mark I've been. "that to place this need for validation on t...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

For those I talked to in chat last week you know I was just about at my wits end with EVERYTHING! I was sooooooo proud and felt sooooooooo strong that I had kept it together for sooooo many years and not counted on anyone, little did I realize that the "fall" was going to be soooo rough. ...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello all! I find that Mondays are the hardest day of the week for me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's bc my f2f meetings are on Tuesdays and I rely on them to get me through the majority of the week??? It seems that Monday is the day that I become most nostalgic, too. I am logical about why my ex Abf and I not toge...

maresie · maresie

I was just going through my emails because I need to cut the size of my mail box down. This year I have very very little money (less than I had last year). At the same time what I do have which I didn't have last year is no contact at all with the A. No more trying to make some dent in his never ending chaos, no...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, Abf is finally in an impatient program. He flew to Florida on Friday and is in good hands for the next six weeks...or five, if he has anything to say about it. We made arrangements for him while he was in a local detox facility, and the morning he was leaving, he found out it was a six week progra...

maire rua · maire rua

As some of you know, my step mom A has been diagnosed as being terminally ill with a brain tumour. Tonight my father, an A, rang and said she is deteriorating and he needs to sort things out, legal, etc. I offered to look on her from 2 tomorrow while he does this. He started talking about power of attorney et...

masspedirn · masspedirn

The tug of war I've been having with myself over step 3- turning ourselves over to HP has really hit home this past week. In a previous post I had informed the board that I was feeling guilty about sticking to boundries I had put in place when my ABFSober moved back in. I moved him out last weekend after he cr...

nalani · nalani

So tomorrow I'm going to the other side of the island to spend the weekend with my family. Now, for most people in Hawai'i this isn't unusual and by "family" we usually mean uncles, aunties, cousins, siblings, parents, etc etc etc. But this weekend it's just the immediate family: my mom, he...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I went on vacation with my 2 sisters (The Middle Child and The Baby). I was worried that we would get on each others nerves. I was right. Well the two of them fought and The Middle Child left the vacation early because of it. The Middle Child was drinking and she lashed out at The Baby. She said some really n...

Jean4444 · Jean4444

I have received a settlement from my AH's attorney. If you can call it that. I get NOTHING at all. Nada. AND he is demanding I pay him $2000 in attorney's fees. I am so furious. I put my sweat and heart and soul into renovating that crack house by his side. I lived in construction hell for two solid years. I...

Maria123 · Maria123

Absolutely nothing ! (ha ha) Our last business meeting for Miracles in Progress was on doing service but this applies broadly to any type of service be it on the message board (replying to posts, posting thought-provoking posts, sharing your experience, strength and hope) or be it in the chat room (s...

renee12 · renee12

Newbie here. Just wanted to say again that I'm so glad to be here. I'm reading so much that I can relate to and glad to know that I'm not the only one. I'm focusing on me today and praying for guidance from hp. Thanks for your support.

Mariner · Mariner

Hi (((all))) Sorry to ask but I need you all with me, am feeling very unsure and anxious. My Abf is coming home tomorrow from rehab for a 3 day visit. A few short weeks ago I would have given anything to have time with him, but now I'm really confused. He'd asked me not to contact him after being advised by...

buick23 · buick23

Haven't been on here in a while. My mom is here visiting and I see those red flags appear at times. She is taking my inventory at times and it really bothers me. She is a great person and I feel bad for talking about her like this. She is not intentionally saying anything that makes me see those red flags, and...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

I just had to share this quick funny, not haha but ironic, story. My AH just called asking me to look in his pants pockets for $400 he brought home from work last night. Well it wasn't there. He was very concnerned about this money because it was from a deal he did last night (car dealership). I had noted las...

maresie · maresie

I have been working on my charactor traits and one huge one is procrastination. So today I started working on my debt (considerable) and make some calls (which of course I have been putting off for months). I have hard times ahead to pay these few bills. Then next thing in my email box is a note asking me t...

renee12 · renee12

I'm new to ALANON. I've have visited the site in the past but never actually logged on. I'm very glad that is here. I'm in desperate needs for words of encouragement. I'm determined to leave my A this time. It's the same thing all over again. He's in jail for a DUI. Even before that he hasn't helped me ra...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm having that discontent rut feeling again. What does it mean? I wonder if it's just my need to have some chaos or if I really am trying to make things "better". I want to move, start over somewhere new, find a new job, etc. I fully believe that my location is a large factor in not being abl...

henny71 · henny71

I am writing as a new member and would love to read any thoughts/ideas from anyone with similar experiences. My husband is an alcoholic -- a periodic binge drinker--and has been this way for as long as I have known him. We have been married for nine years and have two children ages 5 and 7. My AH's father...

maresie · maresie

I was in a department store yesterday and for the first time when I was going by the mens' department I thought about the A casually. So a few things came up for me. First of all I think I gave physically, materially and emotionally seventy thousand times more than the A gave me. I know this probably sound...

Jerry F · Jerry F

it was safe to go into the water... No this isn't a recap of "Jaws". I offered myself up to the gods of relapse and got hooked. Happened so fast and with all of my help that I almost got a high on the adrenalin. All I had to do was go to the airport and pick up my wife from an incoming flight after at...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Well as you can see by the topic icon I really don't know where I fit in anymore. I used to really think I had it altogether or got it back together after my divorce from a very abusive functioning A years ago.......today I find myself in a relationship with a sober A (he has 10 yrs sober) and after a rocky...

kissers · kissers

The past couple jobs I have had were horrible. I feel like I have to lie on the interview because the stories are so horrible and I feel shameful for what has happened. Being a single mother with no child support is no picnic in the work world. This is not a self pity statement; just the truth. Got my first re...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well I dont really know if this on topic or not but not to mention I have my husbands drinking to deal with, ( he has been dry now for 3 weeks ) and all that drama, now my 18 year old daughter has moved back home.. A brief history on her, she is an addict and well HUGE drama queen, literally. She has been in and ou...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Hello Family!! I am stuck deciding how I want to handle this situation I am in. My AH just had a heart cath, which resulted in an agioplasty then a stent. Now that he "feels" better he has gone back to drinking and smoking. So what's new? I knew in the hospital that he would go back. His mom was so d...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, It finally happened!...abf is going into a 30 day treatment facility! I couldnt be happier, or more scared. He checked himself into a program (detox 3-5 day) and felt that after he is released from there, he could continue to "do it on his own" with outpatient therapy and AA....

Katy · Katy

Oh I been having all of that happen to me of late, I have this great gift of a vivid imagination ya wouldn't belive, most of my past imaginnings have focussed on running away, I have to take some credit though because I have been truly blessed with having some very fascinating outcomes of these imaginni...

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

That even though I am still get stuck in the muck, I have come along way since this program. I used to cry and cry, by myself, in the dark, about how much everything sucked and how there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Then I would get mad at myself for being so futile. Or I would get so angry I wanted to scre...

stormie · stormie

I got a much-needed reminder today that I thought might uplift others on this board and/or give you nudge in a more postive direction. Here's part of it: Greatest Mistake - Giving Up (there are exception to this law, I think) Greatest Crippler - Fear Greatest handicap - Ego Greatest Victory - Victory...

QuVat · QuVat

Hello all, I'm new here but I've been lurking for several months now. Long story short my AW has been on again off again sober for the last year. I've managed to keep some semblance of detachment for the last several months thanks to these forums and my own self reflection. Anyway her problems came to...

getoverit · getoverit

Dare to share.. namaste~ Solgans: Just For Today...Easy Does It...Keep It Simple Sweetie...How Important Is It?...First Things First...One Day At A Time...Let Go And Let God...But For The Grace Of God...Think!...Listen And Learn...Let It Begin With Me...Together We Can Make It...Be Honest.....

olg1213 · olg1213

I have come to the point that the fight is out of me. I mourn my will to fight. Giving up has made me sad but has also put out my anger. My AH comes home from work drunk almost everyday. At least he is not being verbally abusive right now. He is in total denial and even if he went and got help I don't thin...

debilyn · debilyn

When suffering a tooth ache from a dry socket, do NOT put a drop or two of Clove oil in it. It will only stop hurting becuz you have burned the H out of your lips and tongue so much worse than the tooth pain.... Just a simple word of my experience....lol hugs,debilyn

hopeful123 · hopeful123

I hate to start my post with a topic like that, but it's the truth. I'm at work and I'm simply miserable today. I am angry at my ex ABF for his behaviors and for leaving me here to live with this crap. He was my second great love--the one that promised me a future and a great life. My first one died on 9/11--and t...

debilyn · debilyn

If I drew a circle and made lines out from it expressing feelings it would look like a sunshine gone crazy. All the surgeries are finished,knee....could not do the dead persons cartlidge plug ick as the missing cartlidge the llama destroyed is too much. you will need a knee replacement. I say,"w...

maresie · maresie

As you all know I am more than one year out from leaving the A. I am in a big mess financially and one of the only ways I can get out of it is to take on another job which is huge for me. I am already tired and feel resourceless. I am making progress in lots of ways. I say no now to lots of things. No to being invo...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

I posted earlier today and I'm back after a long day of fighting the urge to contact the ex ABF. I have my f2f meeting tomorrow night, thank God, and I am hopeful that it will get me beyond this stage of wanting to contact him. I am feeling angry and also nostalgic about the relationship. I am also feeling af...

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, At the moment I am very resentful, a person who I thought was a good friend has let me down. Of course she is with an alcoholic and in denial and I was foolish when asked to tell her what I thought, she makes sure that he contacts her every night when she's working away so she knows what time he gets i...

princessloretta · princessloretta

Well on one of my husbands drinking binges he asked for my wedding ring back and well like a dummy I gave it to him because I didnt want to start world war 3 with an argument, so I just gave it to him. Well he either lost it or threw it away. and now a week and a half later I keep telling him if he might possiably kno...

joyoma · joyoma

Life.....barely livable around our home the past week. Much chaos and messiness with a-son, his EX, our health issues, our marital problems from said messes. Please remember our family this week. We have crucial medical appointments. Mine, especially, could impact the future so dramatic...

lonewolfmama · lonewolfmama

Today my A BF's parents bailed him out $15,000 of gambling debt, he talked to his folks all morning and then came to me with a 15-minute wrap-up (just to tell me how wonderful his life is now), then left to run errands all day and is still not home. He's all like, "I'm cured and out of debt and life is gre...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello everyone! I hope you can give me some clarity about how I am feeling. I have been doing pretty well the past week in not feeling the desire to call my ex ABF who has been gone from our house for 8 weeks now. Our last contact was a week and a half ago. He asked if we could go to dinner and I told him I didn't t...

masspedirn · masspedirn

My AsoberBF moved back in a few weeks ago after 3 months of separation from me so we could both work on our recoveries (him AA,me AlAnon). After much thought, discussion and belief in myself and him, I let him move back home and was really specific about what I could deal with and what I couldn't. I don't se...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

One with God is always the majority. Living in harmony with ourselves is essential to living in harmony with others. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power within us. The trouble with many of us is that in trying times we stop trying. Here are the do's and don'ts from Alcoholism the Family Dise...

kellys_angels · kellys_angels

I am being challanged. I'm recently saparted from my AH and we have two lttle angels who are lost with out Daddy being here. I am trying not to let our children know how scared I am of the unknown. I think the money thing per week has become a problem for both of us. Me and the girls have gone without for so...

charlescharles · charlescharles

long time no posts for me...anyway...hope all is well with everyone...hope things are getting better continuously i am in a funk right now because my family...my life...and the woman i am with are all out of whack...or should i say i am out of wack hating myself...hating others but playing the game an...

olg1213 · olg1213

I woke up in he middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. My kids and I and AH went to my sister and brother in laws to celebrate his birthday tonight. My AH doesn't ever drink at home or on the week-end, I guess to make me believe that either he's not drinking or that he has it under control. ...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family, As some of you are aware, I am moving forward in my recovery and continue on my journey every day. Each day I feel a little less stressed out and a little bit stronger. I began reaching out to friends again, friends that I had been too embarassed to face in the past, I have been taking control...

Diva · Diva

I have received several messages and emails essentially saying, "Diva, where are you? You OK?" Had a major computer crash...My next "pc" will be a Mac!!!!! I am fine. A is sober for now, my doggie is well for now, the weather in South Texas is beautiful, and I could not ask for mo...

ddub · ddub

ok, so I am a hard nut to crack. I want to recover and I want it now. 14 mos of al anon and I am surrounded by messages of the same topic. I might just be getting it when a spiritual 2 x 4 hits me hard between the eyes so I am waving a white flag of surrender. This will take me time....... too much time but wort...

stormie · stormie

I have a few questions that I'd appreciate receiving feedback on, especially from those who have a lot of experience in either Al-Anon or AA. 1) Would you consider an A who attends two meetings per week and nothing else in recovery? (The meetings are "discussion type meetings, not step.) 2) O...

blender_girl · blender_girl

Hi all - first let me say that I'm extremely grateful to have found this site and the many wonderful members who have already shared their ES&H with me in the chat room. Here's my drama for today: My 17-year-old son (will be 18 in a few weeks) decided to skip a class the other day. This is the first and o...

Katy · Katy

When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little. When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness. When I loved myself enough I began to know I was at the right place at the right time and I could relax. When I loved myself enough I began to see I didn't have to chase after life. If I am quiet an...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... there has been a lot of discussion, directly and indirectly, on the board lately regarding us being the "victim" in certain situations... I think we tread a very fine line between "feeling sorry for ourselves" and "accepting facts for what they are"......

RainyJamie · RainyJamie

He had the great proposition for me, the credit guys want to combine all our debt into one small payment which is just a fraction of what our debt payments are now. Would be a good idea... He is very irresponsible financially and consistantly runs up credit. Now he is maxed out on his credit line and prob...

hopeful123 · hopeful123

Hello all! I am pasting a letter that I would like to send to my ex ABF. We've been apart for almost two months now (feels like much longer than that!!!). Anyway, I need some closure to things, and I want to send the following letter to him. Any feedback you can give is much appreciated! Thanks for readi...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I have noticed myself feeling slightly bitter and resentful of the fact that I have to spend money that SHOULD go to our kids just to be rid of HIM. I think partially because I feel like I'm already working two jobs just to get by and thinking where's the money gonna come from? Also, I keep wishing for the...

maresie · maresie

I am interested in what people do to nourish themselves. I know as a recovering codependent I can really go out to lunch on not taking care of myself in so many ways. I am pretty poor at the moment, broke actually. Yet there are lots and lots of creative ways I can nourish myself. I go to the library for one...

jimmydad · jimmydad

Hi folks, I need some advice. I put my al-anon wife through the ringer and have been sober for 1 year after a 3 year relapse, the first two of which she never knew I was relapsing consciously, which in hindsight was a horrible betrayal and I apologized profusely over and over. So, for 1 year I really real...

Christy · Christy

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Hi (((All))) Have just accessed recent posts as I have been away from you all for a couple of days, whilst my partners been home for the first time in over three months. This quote from Jerry F, really hit home, it sums up how way off the mark I've been. "that to place this need for validation on t...	Mariner	4	461	Oct 21, 2008 by shellyj123
	New here and feeling better-thank you! (Preview) For those I talked to in chat last week you know I was just about at my wits end with EVERYTHING! I was sooooooo proud and felt sooooooooo strong that I had kept it together for sooooo many years and not counted on anyone, little did I realize that the "fall" was going to be soooo rough. ...	shellyj123	5	567	Oct 21, 2008 by shellyj123
	Mondays... (Preview) Hello all! I find that Mondays are the hardest day of the week for me. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's bc my f2f meetings are on Tuesdays and I rely on them to get me through the majority of the week??? It seems that Monday is the day that I become most nostalgic, too. I am logical about why my ex Abf and I not toge...	hopeful123	4	302	Oct 21, 2008 by hopeful123
	Peace (Preview) I was just going through my emails because I need to cut the size of my mail box down. This year I have very very little money (less than I had last year). At the same time what I do have which I didn't have last year is no contact at all with the A. No more trying to make some dent in his never ending chaos, no...	maresie	3	532	Oct 20, 2008 by Maria123
	The waiting game (Preview) Hello all, Abf is finally in an impatient program. He flew to Florida on Friday and is in good hands for the next six weeks...or five, if he has anything to say about it. We made arrangements for him while he was in a local detox facility, and the morning he was leaving, he found out it was a six week progra...	liljeannie	4	598	Oct 20, 2008 by liljeannie
	am I being reeled in? (Preview) As some of you know, my step mom A has been diagnosed as being terminally ill with a brain tumour. Tonight my father, an A, rang and said she is deteriorating and he needs to sort things out, legal, etc. I offered to look on her from 2 tomorrow while he does this. He started talking about power of attorney et...	maire rua	1	471	Oct 20, 2008 by maresie
	Program sinking in; finding some calm among all the chaos (Preview) The tug of war I've been having with myself over step 3- turning ourselves over to HP has really hit home this past week. In a previous post I had informed the board that I was feeling guilty about sticking to boundries I had put in place when my ABFSober moved back in. I moved him out last weekend after he cr...	masspedirn	2	429	Oct 20, 2008 by masspedirn
	An entire weekend .. with my family ... (Preview) So tomorrow I'm going to the other side of the island to spend the weekend with my family. Now, for most people in Hawai'i this isn't unusual and by "family" we usually mean uncles, aunties, cousins, siblings, parents, etc etc etc. But this weekend it's just the immediate family: my mom, he...	nalani	8	629	Oct 20, 2008 by nalani
	His first birthday (Preview) I went on vacation with my 2 sisters (The Middle Child and The Baby). I was worried that we would get on each others nerves. I was right. Well the two of them fought and The Middle Child left the vacation early because of it. The Middle Child was drinking and she lashed out at The Baby. She said some really n...	StargazerLily	2	441	Oct 20, 2008 by maresie
	rage at the lies, thanks for listening (Preview) I have received a settlement from my AH's attorney. If you can call it that. I get NOTHING at all. Nada. AND he is demanding I pay him $2000 in attorney's fees. I am so furious. I put my sweat and heart and soul into renovating that crack house by his side. I lived in construction hell for two solid years. I...	Jean4444	8	737	Oct 20, 2008 by maresie
	What does a Movie Star and doing Service work have to do with each other? (Preview) Absolutely nothing ! (ha ha) Our last business meeting for Miracles in Progress was on doing service but this applies broadly to any type of service be it on the message board (replying to posts, posting thought-provoking posts, sharing your experience, strength and hope) or be it in the chat room (s...	Maria123	1	528	Oct 19, 2008 by RLC
	Just glad (Preview) Newbie here. Just wanted to say again that I'm so glad to be here. I'm reading so much that I can relate to and glad to know that I'm not the only one. I'm focusing on me today and praying for guidance from hp. Thanks for your support.	renee12	3	504	Oct 19, 2008 by Maria123
	Need you all (Preview) Hi (((all))) Sorry to ask but I need you all with me, am feeling very unsure and anxious. My Abf is coming home tomorrow from rehab for a 3 day visit. A few short weeks ago I would have given anything to have time with him, but now I'm really confused. He'd asked me not to contact him after being advised by...	Mariner	3	420	Oct 19, 2008 by Suzannah
	here to complain and vent (Preview) Haven't been on here in a while. My mom is here visiting and I see those red flags appear at times. She is taking my inventory at times and it really bothers me. She is a great person and I feel bad for talking about her like this. She is not intentionally saying anything that makes me see those red flags, and...	buick23	7	584	Oct 18, 2008 by glad lee
	It's not funny haha, but funny ironic... (Preview) I just had to share this quick funny, not haha but ironic, story. My AH just called asking me to look in his pants pockets for $400 he brought home from work last night. Well it wasn't there. He was very concnerned about this money because it was from a deal he did last night (car dealership). I had noted las...	wildthang86	4	1522	Oct 18, 2008 by wildthang86
	HP works in mysterious ways (Preview) I have been working on my charactor traits and one huge one is procrastination. So today I started working on my debt (considerable) and make some calls (which of course I have been putting off for months). I have hard times ahead to pay these few bills. Then next thing in my email box is a note asking me t...	maresie	3	554	Oct 17, 2008 by Dale
	My First Time Here (Preview) I'm new to ALANON. I've have visited the site in the past but never actually logged on. I'm very glad that is here. I'm in desperate needs for words of encouragement. I'm determined to leave my A this time. It's the same thing all over again. He's in jail for a DUI. Even before that he hasn't helped me ra...	renee12	5	580	Oct 17, 2008 by Fifi
	Getting that urge to change everything again... (Preview) I'm having that discontent rut feeling again. What does it mean? I wonder if it's just my need to have some chaos or if I really am trying to make things "better". I want to move, start over somewhere new, find a new job, etc. I fully believe that my location is a large factor in not being abl...	carolinagirl	8	507	Oct 17, 2008 by serendipity
	New to this group and forum (Preview) I am writing as a new member and would love to read any thoughts/ideas from anyone with similar experiences. My husband is an alcoholic -- a periodic binge drinker--and has been this way for as long as I have known him. We have been married for nine years and have two children ages 5 and 7. My AH's father...	henny71	6	574	Oct 17, 2008 by Fifi
	keeping busy (Preview) I was in a department store yesterday and for the first time when I was going by the mens' department I thought about the A casually. So a few things came up for me. First of all I think I gave physically, materially and emotionally seventy thousand times more than the A gave me. I know this probably sound...	maresie	1	292	Oct 17, 2008 by Mariner
	Just when I thought.... (Preview) it was safe to go into the water... No this isn't a recap of "Jaws". I offered myself up to the gods of relapse and got hooked. Happened so fast and with all of my help that I almost got a high on the adrenalin. All I had to do was go to the airport and pick up my wife from an incoming flight after at...	Jerry F	16	994	Oct 16, 2008 by nmike
	New here.......looking for online sponser (Preview) Well as you can see by the topic icon I really don't know where I fit in anymore. I used to really think I had it altogether or got it back together after my divorce from a very abusive functioning A years ago.......today I find myself in a relationship with a sober A (he has 10 yrs sober) and after a rocky...	shellyj123	1	450	Oct 16, 2008 by Christy
	Telling the Truth (Preview) The past couple jobs I have had were horrible. I feel like I have to lie on the interview because the stories are so horrible and I feel shameful for what has happened. Being a single mother with no child support is no picnic in the work world. This is not a self pity statement; just the truth. Got my first re...	kissers	2	618	Oct 16, 2008 by maresie
	dont know how to handle this one... very long sorry.... (Preview) Well I dont really know if this on topic or not but not to mention I have my husbands drinking to deal with, ( he has been dry now for 3 weeks ) and all that drama, now my 18 year old daughter has moved back home.. A brief history on her, she is an addict and well HUGE drama queen, literally. She has been in and ou...	princessloretta	5	515	Oct 16, 2008 by maresie
	He is going to die! I just know it. (Preview) Hello Family!! I am stuck deciding how I want to handle this situation I am in. My AH just had a heart cath, which resulted in an agioplasty then a stent. Now that he "feels" better he has gone back to drinking and smoking. So what's new? I knew in the hospital that he would go back. His mom was so d...	wildthang86	7	601	Oct 16, 2008 by wildthang86
	A glimmer of hope (Preview) Hello all, It finally happened!...abf is going into a 30 day treatment facility! I couldnt be happier, or more scared. He checked himself into a program (detox 3-5 day) and felt that after he is released from there, he could continue to "do it on his own" with outpatient therapy and AA....	liljeannie	2	310	Oct 16, 2008 by nalani
	Awareness and the penny dropping! (Preview) Oh I been having all of that happen to me of late, I have this great gift of a vivid imagination ya wouldn't belive, most of my past imaginnings have focussed on running away, I have to take some credit though because I have been truly blessed with having some very fascinating outcomes of these imaginni...	Katy	3	477	Oct 15, 2008 by debilyn
	I just want to say (Preview) That even though I am still get stuck in the muck, I have come along way since this program. I used to cry and cry, by myself, in the dark, about how much everything sucked and how there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Then I would get mad at myself for being so futile. Or I would get so angry I wanted to scre...	RainyJamie	4	516	Oct 15, 2008 by RLC
	A Few Much-Needed Reminders That I Needed Today (Preview) I got a much-needed reminder today that I thought might uplift others on this board and/or give you nudge in a more postive direction. Here's part of it: Greatest Mistake - Giving Up (there are exception to this law, I think) Greatest Crippler - Fear Greatest handicap - Ego Greatest Victory - Victory...	stormie	0	335	Oct 15, 2008 by stormie
	Feeling stuck (Preview) Hello all, I'm new here but I've been lurking for several months now. Long story short my AW has been on again off again sober for the last year. I've managed to keep some semblance of detachment for the last several months thanks to these forums and my own self reflection. Anyway her problems came to...	QuVat	5	554	Oct 15, 2008 by QuVat
	slogans r great for us (Preview) Dare to share.. namaste~ Solgans: Just For Today...Easy Does It...Keep It Simple Sweetie...How Important Is It?...First Things First...One Day At A Time...Let Go And Let God...But For The Grace Of God...Think!...Listen And Learn...Let It Begin With Me...Together We Can Make It...Be Honest.....	getoverit	2	535	Oct 15, 2008 by Jerry F
	Letting Go (Preview) I have come to the point that the fight is out of me. I mourn my will to fight. Giving up has made me sad but has also put out my anger. My AH comes home from work drunk almost everyday. At least he is not being verbally abusive right now. He is in total denial and even if he went and got help I don't thin...	olg1213	2	546	Oct 15, 2008 by kitty
	do not do this (Preview) When suffering a tooth ache from a dry socket, do NOT put a drop or two of Clove oil in it. It will only stop hurting becuz you have burned the H out of your lips and tongue so much worse than the tooth pain.... Just a simple word of my experience....lol hugs,debilyn	debilyn	4	516	Oct 15, 2008 by debilyn
	Just miserable (Preview) I hate to start my post with a topic like that, but it's the truth. I'm at work and I'm simply miserable today. I am angry at my ex ABF for his behaviors and for leaving me here to live with this crap. He was my second great love--the one that promised me a future and a great life. My first one died on 9/11--and t...	hopeful123	9	760	Oct 14, 2008 by CJ
	I am wounded, faithful, hopeful and keep crying....Long stupid (Preview) If I drew a circle and made lines out from it expressing feelings it would look like a sunshine gone crazy. All the surgeries are finished,knee....could not do the dead persons cartlidge plug ick as the missing cartlidge the llama destroyed is too much. you will need a knee replacement. I say,"w...	debilyn	3	635	Oct 14, 2008 by Maria123
	Gratitude (Preview) As you all know I am more than one year out from leaving the A. I am in a big mess financially and one of the only ways I can get out of it is to take on another job which is huge for me. I am already tired and feel resourceless. I am making progress in lots of ways. I say no now to lots of things. No to being invo...	maresie	6	1000	Oct 14, 2008 by Jean4444
	A rough day (Preview) I posted earlier today and I'm back after a long day of fighting the urge to contact the ex ABF. I have my f2f meeting tomorrow night, thank God, and I am hopeful that it will get me beyond this stage of wanting to contact him. I am feeling angry and also nostalgic about the relationship. I am also feeling af...	hopeful123	5	470	Oct 14, 2008 by Fifi
	Feeling a lot of resentment and rage (Preview) Dear All, At the moment I am very resentful, a person who I thought was a good friend has let me down. Of course she is with an alcoholic and in denial and I was foolish when asked to tell her what I thought, she makes sure that he contacts her every night when she's working away so she knows what time he gets i...	maire rua	3	1442	Oct 14, 2008 by Jerry F
	husband threw wedding ring out or it is lost... (Preview) Well on one of my husbands drinking binges he asked for my wedding ring back and well like a dummy I gave it to him because I didnt want to start world war 3 with an argument, so I just gave it to him. Well he either lost it or threw it away. and now a week and a half later I keep telling him if he might possiably kno...	princessloretta	9	2785	Oct 14, 2008 by Becky1
	needing peace (Preview) Life.....barely livable around our home the past week. Much chaos and messiness with a-son, his EX, our health issues, our marital problems from said messes. Please remember our family this week. We have crucial medical appointments. Mine, especially, could impact the future so dramatic...	joyoma	6	534	Oct 13, 2008 by nmike
	Vent...What More Can I Do? (Preview) Today my A BF's parents bailed him out $15,000 of gambling debt, he talked to his folks all morning and then came to me with a 15-minute wrap-up (just to tell me how wonderful his life is now), then left to run errands all day and is still not home. He's all like, "I'm cured and out of debt and life is gre...	lonewolfmama	5	669	Oct 13, 2008 by Loupiness
	Just when I start feeling better, the old feelings of guilt return... (Preview) Hello everyone! I hope you can give me some clarity about how I am feeling. I have been doing pretty well the past week in not feeling the desire to call my ex ABF who has been gone from our house for 8 weeks now. Our last contact was a week and a half ago. He asked if we could go to dinner and I told him I didn't t...	hopeful123	6	473	Oct 13, 2008 by nmike
	why do I feel so terrible about sticking to my boundries (a long vent) (Preview) My AsoberBF moved back in a few weeks ago after 3 months of separation from me so we could both work on our recoveries (him AA,me AlAnon). After much thought, discussion and belief in myself and him, I let him move back home and was really specific about what I could deal with and what I couldn't. I don't se...	masspedirn	9	606	Oct 13, 2008 by Jean4444
	A few quotes & Do's & Don't's (Preview) One with God is always the majority. Living in harmony with ourselves is essential to living in harmony with others. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power within us. The trouble with many of us is that in trying times we stop trying. Here are the do's and don'ts from Alcoholism the Family Dise...	Hoot Nanny	2	6446	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	Being Challanged (Preview) I am being challanged. I'm recently saparted from my AH and we have two lttle angels who are lost with out Daddy being here. I am trying not to let our children know how scared I am of the unknown. I think the money thing per week has become a problem for both of us. Me and the girls have gone without for so...	kellys_angels	5	530	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	rambling on (Preview) long time no posts for me...anyway...hope all is well with everyone...hope things are getting better continuously i am in a funk right now because my family...my life...and the woman i am with are all out of whack...or should i say i am out of wack hating myself...hating others but playing the game an...	charlescharles	5	561	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	Scattered thoughts (Preview) I woke up in he middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. My kids and I and AH went to my sister and brother in laws to celebrate his birthday tonight. My AH doesn't ever drink at home or on the week-end, I guess to make me believe that either he's not drinking or that he has it under control. ...	olg1213	4	497	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	Disillusioned (Preview) Hello family, As some of you are aware, I am moving forward in my recovery and continue on my journey every day. Each day I feel a little less stressed out and a little bit stronger. I began reaching out to friends again, friends that I had been too embarassed to face in the past, I have been taking control...	liljeannie	2	535	Oct 13, 2008 by maresie
	Didn't know you cared so much. smile (Preview) I have received several messages and emails essentially saying, "Diva, where are you? You OK?" Had a major computer crash...My next "pc" will be a Mac!!!!! I am fine. A is sober for now, my doggie is well for now, the weather in South Texas is beautiful, and I could not ask for mo...	Diva	6	537	Oct 12, 2008 by Jen
	waving white flag (Preview) ok, so I am a hard nut to crack. I want to recover and I want it now. 14 mos of al anon and I am surrounded by messages of the same topic. I might just be getting it when a spiritual 2 x 4 hits me hard between the eyes so I am waving a white flag of surrender. This will take me time....... too much time but wort...	ddub	5	564	Oct 12, 2008 by Jen
	Questions Regarding Recovery in AA (Preview) I have a few questions that I'd appreciate receiving feedback on, especially from those who have a lot of experience in either Al-Anon or AA. 1) Would you consider an A who attends two meetings per week and nothing else in recovery? (The meetings are "discussion type meetings, not step.) 2) O...	stormie	14	624	Oct 11, 2008 by painthorse60
	Suggestions Welcome (Preview) Hi all - first let me say that I'm extremely grateful to have found this site and the many wonderful members who have already shared their ES&H with me in the chat room. Here's my drama for today: My 17-year-old son (will be 18 in a few weeks) decided to skip a class the other day. This is the first and o...	blender_girl	6	462	Oct 11, 2008 by blender_girl
	Quotes that help me! (Preview) When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little. When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness. When I loved myself enough I began to know I was at the right place at the right time and I could relax. When I loved myself enough I began to see I didn't have to chase after life. If I am quiet an...	Katy	3	3808	Oct 10, 2008 by Peggy7
	Victim, Schmictim..... (Preview) Hi all... there has been a lot of discussion, directly and indirectly, on the board lately regarding us being the "victim" in certain situations... I think we tread a very fine line between "feeling sorry for ourselves" and "accepting facts for what they are"......	canadianguy	8	593	Oct 10, 2008 by Jean4444
	He's mad and I'm wondering if I did the right thing (Preview) He had the great proposition for me, the credit guys want to combine all our debt into one small payment which is just a fraction of what our debt payments are now. Would be a good idea... He is very irresponsible financially and consistantly runs up credit. Now he is maxed out on his credit line and prob...	RainyJamie	5	642	Oct 10, 2008 by maresie
	A letter I am thinking of sending...would like feedback! (Preview) Hello all! I am pasting a letter that I would like to send to my ex ABF. We've been apart for almost two months now (feels like much longer than that!!!). Anyway, I need some closure to things, and I want to send the following letter to him. Any feedback you can give is much appreciated! Thanks for readi...	hopeful123	9	606	Oct 10, 2008 by kitty
	Resentment and bitterness creeping back in (Preview) I have noticed myself feeling slightly bitter and resentful of the fact that I have to spend money that SHOULD go to our kids just to be rid of HIM. I think partially because I feel like I'm already working two jobs just to get by and thinking where's the money gonna come from? Also, I keep wishing for the...	carolinagirl	9	590	Oct 10, 2008 by kellys_angels
	replenishing ourselves (Preview) I am interested in what people do to nourish themselves. I know as a recovering codependent I can really go out to lunch on not taking care of myself in so many ways. I am pretty poor at the moment, broke actually. Yet there are lots and lots of creative ways I can nourish myself. I go to the library for one...	maresie	7	545	Oct 10, 2008 by suzip
	Emotional affair with fellow Al-anon-need advice (Preview) Hi folks, I need some advice. I put my al-anon wife through the ringer and have been sober for 1 year after a 3 year relapse, the first two of which she never knew I was relapsing consciously, which in hindsight was a horrible betrayal and I apologized profusely over and over. So, for 1 year I really real...	jimmydad	17	6242	Oct 10, 2008 by jimmydad
	There are no justified resentments (Preview)	Christy	4	751	Oct 10, 2008 by nmike
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.