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Need you all
(Preview)
Hi (((all))) Sorry to ask but I need you all with me, am feeling very unsure and anxious. My Abf is coming home tomorrow from rehab for a 3 day visit. A few short weeks ago I would have given anything to have time with him, but now I'm really confused. He'd asked me not to contact him after being advised by...
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Mariner
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3
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411
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here to complain and vent
(Preview)
Haven't been on here in a while. My mom is here visiting and I see those red flags appear at times. She is taking my inventory at times and it really bothers me. She is a great person and I feel bad for talking about her like this. She is not intentionally saying anything that makes me see those red flags, and...
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buick23
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7
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574
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It's not funny haha, but funny ironic...
(Preview)
I just had to share this quick funny, not haha but ironic, story. My AH just called asking me to look in his pants pockets for $400 he brought home from work last night. Well it wasn't there. He was very concnerned about this money because it was from a deal he did last night (car dealership). I had noted las...
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wildthang86
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4
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1512
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HP works in mysterious ways
(Preview)
I have been working on my charactor traits and one huge one is procrastination. So today I started working on my debt (considerable) and make some calls (which of course I have been putting off for months). I have hard times ahead to pay these few bills. Then next thing in my email box is a note asking me t...
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maresie
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3
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546
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My First Time Here
(Preview)
I'm new to ALANON. I've have visited the site in the past but never actually logged on. I'm very glad that is here. I'm in desperate needs for words of encouragement. I'm determined to leave my A this time. It's the same thing all over again. He's in jail for a DUI. Even before that he hasn't helped me ra...
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renee12
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5
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576
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Getting that urge to change everything again...
(Preview)
I'm having that discontent rut feeling again. What does it mean? I wonder if it's just my need to have some chaos or if I really am trying to make things "better". I want to move, start over somewhere new, find a new job, etc. I fully believe that my location is a large factor in not being abl...
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carolinagirl
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8
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502
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New to this group and forum
(Preview)
I am writing as a new member and would love to read any thoughts/ideas from anyone with similar experiences. My husband is an alcoholic -- a periodic binge drinker--and has been this way for as long as I have known him. We have been married for nine years and have two children ages 5 and 7. My AH's father...
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henny71
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6
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568
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keeping busy
(Preview)
I was in a department store yesterday and for the first time when I was going by the mens' department I thought about the A casually. So a few things came up for me. First of all I think I gave physically, materially and emotionally seventy thousand times more than the A gave me. I know this probably sound...
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maresie
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1
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287
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Just when I thought....
(Preview)
it was safe to go into the water... No this isn't a recap of "Jaws". I offered myself up to the gods of relapse and got hooked. Happened so fast and with all of my help that I almost got a high on the adrenalin. All I had to do was go to the airport and pick up my wife from an incoming flight after at...
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Jerry F
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16
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981
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New here.......looking for online sponser
(Preview)
Well as you can see by the topic icon I really don't know where I fit in anymore. I used to really think I had it altogether or got it back together after my divorce from a very abusive functioning A years ago.......today I find myself in a relationship with a sober A (he has 10 yrs sober) and after a rocky...
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shellyj123
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1
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442
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Telling the Truth
(Preview)
The past couple jobs I have had were horrible. I feel like I have to lie on the interview because the stories are so horrible and I feel shameful for what has happened. Being a single mother with no child support is no picnic in the work world. This is not a self pity statement; just the truth. Got my first re...
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kissers
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2
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610
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dont know how to handle this one... very long sorry....
(Preview)
Well I dont really know if this on topic or not but not to mention I have my husbands drinking to deal with, ( he has been dry now for 3 weeks ) and all that drama, now my 18 year old daughter has moved back home.. A brief history on her, she is an addict and well HUGE drama queen, literally. She has been in and ou...
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princessloretta
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5
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504
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He is going to die! I just know it.
(Preview)
Hello Family!! I am stuck deciding how I want to handle this situation I am in. My AH just had a heart cath, which resulted in an agioplasty then a stent. Now that he "feels" better he has gone back to drinking and smoking. So what's new? I knew in the hospital that he would go back. His mom was so d...
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wildthang86
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7
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592
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A glimmer of hope
(Preview)
Hello all, It finally happened!...abf is going into a 30 day treatment facility! I couldnt be happier, or more scared. He checked himself into a program (detox 3-5 day) and felt that after he is released from there, he could continue to "do it on his own" with outpatient therapy and AA....
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liljeannie
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2
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302
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Awareness and the penny dropping!
(Preview)
Oh I been having all of that happen to me of late, I have this great gift of a vivid imagination ya wouldn't belive, most of my past imaginnings have focussed on running away, I have to take some credit though because I have been truly blessed with having some very fascinating outcomes of these imaginni...
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Katy
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3
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469
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I just want to say
(Preview)
That even though I am still get stuck in the muck, I have come along way since this program. I used to cry and cry, by myself, in the dark, about how much everything sucked and how there wasn't a thing I could do about it. Then I would get mad at myself for being so futile. Or I would get so angry I wanted to scre...
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RainyJamie
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4
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509
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A Few Much-Needed Reminders That I Needed Today
(Preview)
I got a much-needed reminder today that I thought might uplift others on this board and/or give you nudge in a more postive direction. Here's part of it: Greatest Mistake - Giving Up (there are exception to this law, I think) Greatest Crippler - Fear Greatest handicap - Ego Greatest Victory - Victory...
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stormie
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0
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331
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Feeling stuck
(Preview)
Hello all, I'm new here but I've been lurking for several months now. Long story short my AW has been on again off again sober for the last year. I've managed to keep some semblance of detachment for the last several months thanks to these forums and my own self reflection. Anyway her problems came to...
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QuVat
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5
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545
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slogans r great for us
(Preview)
Dare to share.. namaste~ Solgans: Just For Today...Easy Does It...Keep It Simple Sweetie...How Important Is It?...First Things First...One Day At A Time...Let Go And Let God...But For The Grace Of God...Think!...Listen And Learn...Let It Begin With Me...Together We Can Make It...Be Honest.....
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getoverit
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2
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529
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Letting Go
(Preview)
I have come to the point that the fight is out of me. I mourn my will to fight. Giving up has made me sad but has also put out my anger. My AH comes home from work drunk almost everyday. At least he is not being verbally abusive right now. He is in total denial and even if he went and got help I don't thin...
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olg1213
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2
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535
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do not do this
(Preview)
When suffering a tooth ache from a dry socket, do NOT put a drop or two of Clove oil in it. It will only stop hurting becuz you have burned the H out of your lips and tongue so much worse than the tooth pain.... Just a simple word of my experience....lol hugs,debilyn
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debilyn
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4
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510
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Just miserable
(Preview)
I hate to start my post with a topic like that, but it's the truth. I'm at work and I'm simply miserable today. I am angry at my ex ABF for his behaviors and for leaving me here to live with this crap. He was my second great love--the one that promised me a future and a great life. My first one died on 9/11--and t...
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hopeful123
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9
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752
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I am wounded, faithful, hopeful and keep crying....Long stupid
(Preview)
If I drew a circle and made lines out from it expressing feelings it would look like a sunshine gone crazy. All the surgeries are finished,knee....could not do the dead persons cartlidge plug ick as the missing cartlidge the llama destroyed is too much. you will need a knee replacement. I say,"w...
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debilyn
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3
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627
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Gratitude
(Preview)
As you all know I am more than one year out from leaving the A. I am in a big mess financially and one of the only ways I can get out of it is to take on another job which is huge for me. I am already tired and feel resourceless. I am making progress in lots of ways. I say no now to lots of things. No to being invo...
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maresie
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6
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992
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A rough day
(Preview)
I posted earlier today and I'm back after a long day of fighting the urge to contact the ex ABF. I have my f2f meeting tomorrow night, thank God, and I am hopeful that it will get me beyond this stage of wanting to contact him. I am feeling angry and also nostalgic about the relationship. I am also feeling af...
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hopeful123
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5
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465
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Feeling a lot of resentment and rage
(Preview)
Dear All,
At the moment I am very resentful, a person who I thought was a good friend has let me down. Of course she is with an alcoholic and in denial and I was foolish when asked to tell her what I thought, she makes sure that he contacts her every night when she's working away so she knows what time he gets i...
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maire rua
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3
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1434
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husband threw wedding ring out or it is lost...
(Preview)
Well on one of my husbands drinking binges he asked for my wedding ring back and well like a dummy I gave it to him because I didnt want to start world war 3 with an argument, so I just gave it to him. Well he either lost it or threw it away. and now a week and a half later I keep telling him if he might possiably kno...
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princessloretta
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9
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2746
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needing peace
(Preview)
Life.....barely livable around our home the past week. Much chaos and messiness with a-son, his EX, our health issues, our marital problems from said messes. Please remember our family this week. We have crucial medical appointments. Mine, especially, could impact the future so dramatic...
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joyoma
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6
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526
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Vent...What More Can I Do?
(Preview)
Today my A BF's parents bailed him out $15,000 of gambling debt, he talked to his folks all morning and then came to me with a 15-minute wrap-up (just to tell me how wonderful his life is now), then left to run errands all day and is still not home. He's all like, "I'm cured and out of debt and life is gre...
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lonewolfmama
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5
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662
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Just when I start feeling better, the old feelings of guilt return...
(Preview)
Hello everyone!
I hope you can give me some clarity about how I am feeling. I have been doing pretty well the past week in not feeling the desire to call my ex ABF who has been gone from our house for 8 weeks now. Our last contact was a week and a half ago. He asked if we could go to dinner and I told him I didn't t...
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hopeful123
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6
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468
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why do I feel so terrible about sticking to my boundries (a long vent)
(Preview)
My AsoberBF moved back in a few weeks ago after 3 months of separation from me so we could both work on our recoveries (him AA,me AlAnon). After much thought, discussion and belief in myself and him, I let him move back home and was really specific about what I could deal with and what I couldn't. I don't se...
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masspedirn
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9
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595
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A few quotes & Do's & Don't's
(Preview)
One with God is always the majority. Living in harmony with ourselves is essential to living in harmony with others. The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power within us. The trouble with many of us is that in trying times we stop trying. Here are the do's and don'ts from Alcoholism the Family Dise...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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6402
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Being Challanged
(Preview)
I am being challanged. I'm recently saparted from my AH and we have two lttle angels who are lost with out Daddy being here. I am trying not to let our children know how scared I am of the unknown. I think the money thing per week has become a problem for both of us. Me and the girls have gone without for so...
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kellys_angels
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5
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522
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rambling on
(Preview)
long time no posts for me...anyway...hope all is well with everyone...hope things are getting better continuously i am in a funk right now because my family...my life...and the woman i am with are all out of whack...or should i say i am out of wack hating myself...hating others but playing the game an...
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charlescharles
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5
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552
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Scattered thoughts
(Preview)
I woke up in he middle of the night and couldn't go back to sleep. My kids and I and AH went to my sister and brother in laws to celebrate his birthday tonight. My AH doesn't ever drink at home or on the week-end, I guess to make me believe that either he's not drinking or that he has it under control.
...
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olg1213
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4
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492
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Disillusioned
(Preview)
Hello family,
As some of you are aware, I am moving forward in my recovery and continue on my journey every day. Each day I feel a little less stressed out and a little bit stronger. I began reaching out to friends again, friends that I had been too embarassed to face in the past, I have been taking control...
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liljeannie
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2
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527
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Didn't know you cared so much. *smile*
(Preview)
I have received several messages and emails essentially saying, "Diva, where are you? You OK?" Had a major computer crash...My next "pc" will be a Mac!!!!! I am fine. A is sober for now, my doggie is well for now, the weather in South Texas is beautiful, and I could not ask for mo...
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Diva
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6
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527
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waving white flag
(Preview)
ok, so I am a hard nut to crack. I want to recover and I want it now. 14 mos of al anon and I am surrounded by messages of the same topic. I might just be getting it when a spiritual 2 x 4 hits me hard between the eyes so I am waving a white flag of surrender. This will take me time....... too much time but wort...
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ddub
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5
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557
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Questions Regarding Recovery in AA
(Preview)
I have a few questions that I'd appreciate receiving feedback on, especially from those who have a lot of experience in either Al-Anon or AA. 1) Would you consider an A who attends two meetings per week and nothing else in recovery? (The meetings are "discussion type meetings, not step.) 2) O...
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stormie
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14
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620
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Suggestions Welcome
(Preview)
Hi all - first let me say that I'm extremely grateful to have found this site and the many wonderful members who have already shared their ES&H with me in the chat room. Here's my drama for today: My 17-year-old son (will be 18 in a few weeks) decided to skip a class the other day. This is the first and o...
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blender_girl
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6
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454
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Quotes that help me!
(Preview)
When I loved myself enough I quit settling for too little. When I loved myself enough I came to know my own goodness. When I loved myself enough I began to know I was at the right place at the right time and I could relax. When I loved myself enough I began to see I didn't have to chase after life. If I am quiet an...
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Katy
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3
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3741
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Victim, Schmictim.....
(Preview)
Hi all... there has been a lot of discussion, directly and indirectly, on the board lately regarding us being the "victim" in certain situations... I think we tread a very fine line between "feeling sorry for ourselves" and "accepting facts for what they are"......
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canadianguy
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8
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583
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He's mad and I'm wondering if I did the right thing
(Preview)
He had the great proposition for me, the credit guys want to combine all our debt into one small payment which is just a fraction of what our debt payments are now. Would be a good idea... He is very irresponsible financially and consistantly runs up credit. Now he is maxed out on his credit line and prob...
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RainyJamie
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5
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634
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A letter I am thinking of sending...would like feedback!
(Preview)
Hello all!
I am pasting a letter that I would like to send to my ex ABF. We've been apart for almost two months now (feels like much longer than that!!!). Anyway, I need some closure to things, and I want to send the following letter to him. Any feedback you can give is much appreciated!
Thanks for readi...
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hopeful123
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9
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597
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Resentment and bitterness creeping back in
(Preview)
I have noticed myself feeling slightly bitter and resentful of the fact that I have to spend money that SHOULD go to our kids just to be rid of HIM. I think partially because I feel like I'm already working two jobs just to get by and thinking where's the money gonna come from? Also, I keep wishing for the...
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carolinagirl
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9
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583
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replenishing ourselves
(Preview)
I am interested in what people do to nourish themselves. I know as a recovering codependent I can really go out to lunch on not taking care of myself in so many ways. I am pretty poor at the moment, broke actually. Yet there are lots and lots of creative ways I can nourish myself. I go to the library for one...
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maresie
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7
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537
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Emotional affair with fellow Al-anon-need advice
(Preview)
Hi folks, I need some advice. I put my al-anon wife through the ringer and have been sober for 1 year after a 3 year relapse, the first two of which she never knew I was relapsing consciously, which in hindsight was a horrible betrayal and I apologized profusely over and over. So, for 1 year I really real...
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jimmydad
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17
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6043
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There are no justified resentments
(Preview)
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Christy
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4
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742
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Need help with anger please
(Preview)
I had another panic attack yesterday. This one was different and filled with anger. I started thinking how unfar it was for my ex to just pick up and leave and go over to his mom's house where his bed is all nicely made up and he has no memories of us whatsoever. Meanwhile I get to stay in the house with all...
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mslouise
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16
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661
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the greater good...
(Preview)
Woke up at 3am (as usual). Tried to use the stillness to connect to God, but just couldn't feel it. Then, I hear the breathing next to me. My youngest, almost 4, is such an incredibly beautiful specimen of a human being. He sleeps with me, has since my AH moved out. He's laying there all sprawled out with on...
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Loupiness
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10
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633
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I father died two hours ago - in shock
(Preview)
Family, I cannot believe it, am in shock. My newphew, who had not spoken to me since my mother died four years ago, (neither has his mother - my twin even after I keep writing to them and hoping for a response), rang a couple of hours ago to tell me that my father had died. He had trouble breathing this morn...
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Suzannah
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17
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779
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The Wrong Approach
(Preview)
I'm sorry. This is kind of long but it's all important backstory... My mother has been a functioning alcoholic for most of my life but it was only until November of last year that her alcoholism has spiraled to being uncontrollable. Where she would once have a few drinks a night, she began drinking from...
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NJBoy
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4
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626
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Drama!
(Preview)
This is a post I made to the AA forum as a starter... I think it has some relevance here, which I will follow up on but first here is the post from AA in its entirety: ------------------------------ Not long ago, I was at one of my regular meetings. There is a young guy there who has some sobriety, talks a lo...
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barisax
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5
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648
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WHO REALLY HAS THE PROBLEM?
(Preview)
I've been thinking about this for sometime and decided to bounce this off you guys...please do not take offense as I am serious w/ the inquirey. Who really has the problem- us or the alcoholic? I sit here being verbally abused after bailing his butt out of trouble again! Helping and holding him thru t...
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soconfused
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12
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634
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Hoping to meet partners of long-term alcoholics to share experiences
(Preview)
Hi there, I'm new to this forum, my incentive for joining being a conversation I've just had with my mum (in her 60s) in which she said she cannot find anyone who understands what she's going through. My dad has been alcohol dependant for about 25 years. For reasons I'll probably never fully understand...
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Guppie
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7
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817
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women who love too much
(Preview)
Oddly enough, today I found a book review I did on the book "Women Who Love Too Much" by Robin Norwood back in college. This was the same year I got envolved with my A, and that fact really struck me. This is just crazy. I should have known something was wrong. Wierd that I picked a book with this s...
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buick23
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3
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662
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something I wanted to share
(Preview)
I have this old wallhanging that says: I do my thing, and you do your thing, I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it's beautiful. by Frederick S. Perls, Real People Press 1969
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buick23
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2
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339
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Neediness
(Preview)
I find that things I used to think were cute and sweet... calling/texting all the time, wanting to be with me all the time, etc. have turned into red flags. It's a very fine line between sweet and irritating. In the past I couldn't get enough and thought something was wrong if I didn't hear from him all...
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carolinagirl
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4
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490
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end of my rope...
(Preview)
This may be a bit long winded...... My AH has been in 3 alcohol related accidents in the 8 years that we have been together.He spent 7 months in jail last year.We lost our business and i had to work day/night to support myself and daughter.I felt betrayed,bitter and just down right angry.We spoke nearly...
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Steel Magnolia
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3
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487
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just an update
(Preview)
Again, I want to express how thankful I am for this board and all the members, posts, and replies. I can identify with so many of you. In one post about the A's recovery it said that we can't control their recovery just as much as we can't control their drinking. This is so true. I too am doing my best at not ju...
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buick23
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0
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345
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