The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
long time no posts for me...anyway...hope all is well with everyone...hope things are getting better continuously
i am in a funk right now because my family...my life...and the woman i am with are all out of whack...or should i say i am out of wack
hating myself...hating others but playing the game and practicing patience and progress
started my new job...a family owned place but something is seriously wrong there...dead gohsts and step parent trying to take control...sort of hamlets story
and i am ready to kill or destroy..metaphorically that is
there is no light at the end of this tunnel...which is why i have been saying for a long time its time to get bought out and leave the state...at this point maybe even leave the country...the girlfriend..this life...start something new...more well planned and enthusiastic
anyway..going on four months sober..which is a great thing..seeing and thinking that much more clearer and dealing with the family business and the dynamics that go with it...soberly clearly and angrily...but held in check
i am v3ry very very held in check these days and using a higher power as well as the soul of my dead fathr to my advantage evry day
my thinking on my a has become my needs over hers...boundaries and not falling into the game...i have been doing much much much better...but i aient were i want to be but exactly were i need to be
but as always i want and need more..more truth more creativity and less..much much much less control
good prayers to all...keep coming back..is surely does work
Charles, Progress, baby steps, work the program, go to meetings, focus on yourself, set boundaries, detachment, all one day at a time. So much easier said than done, but so much better than the alternative.
Look back to where you were and where you are. You have made lots of progress in your recovery. I can say the very same for myself. Thank goodness no one is ever a graduate of this program. We just have to keep learning and using the tools of this program in our everyday lives.
I got to the point that merry-go-round music use to neauseate me. I have never ridden another one of them since I've been in recovery. I know it was just a metaphor of the round and round of life and maybe just too good a metaphor. What works for me today is stay on the attitude of gratitude and let the negative stuff alone. I use to also think that being in recovery also mean't that I needed to have a horror story in order to belong. Not! ...and then I learned how to laugh in life at life and myself. Get better Charles it feels soooo much nicer.
I once read in a book, written by a very wise person, that "what you think about expands."
I now see that to be true. If I think of all the crap that is going on around me, I seem to see more of it. If I focus on what is good around me and think of things of how I want them to be in the future, I see more of it and feel great.
