Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

hurtnfedup · hurtnfedup

Well, my story is pretty long but to make it a short version here it goes... I met and fell in love with my husband 5 years ago we married soon after. We are in our early 30's and use to go out a lot with friends drinking. I didn't think he had a problem at the time- even though i found out after he had 4 dui's and sp...

Rora · Rora

Today celebrates (yes, celebrates!) the 2 week mark since my Ah moved out. We have a 4 yr old together and so we still have regular contact. As far as where we are going from here,I do not know! What I do know is that I am more at peace. My irregular heart palpatations have significantly reduced. My son...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello all, I havent spoken to abf for a couple of days. Not since our last conversation where I came out and directly stated how I felt about the things he was asking of me. I believe I mentioned that he didnt seem too happy. Apparently, I was right on the money. He spoke w/his mom during a conference ca...

kitty · kitty

I haven't been able to get into the chat room. Is there a glitch on the server/site or is it just me?

newanon · newanon

I am so new. Took a day off work so I could go to a face to face group yesterday, but all the groups in a 30 mile radius are either when I am supposed to be at work or too late at night... 7pm, an hour away from my home. So, I turn to the miracle of the internet? My father is a dry A (but wasn't in my life hardly...

Robinks · Robinks

I went to the chatroom yesterday afternoon several times and there was no one there. no one there this morning, what is going on?

binohio · binohio

I have seen (on this board) and heard (at meetings) a lot about loving oneself. SoI guess my question is what does that look like? I grew up in an alcoholic home my first qualifier was my dad. Two days after I graduated from high school I married my second qualifier; I have known him since I was sixteen. We...

ddub · ddub

This really helped me today and wanted to share it with all of you. Hope does not usually come as the just reward for our hard work and struggle. It comes as a gift. The experience of hope is very much like the experience of receiving a surprise gift that is perfectly suited to our needs. A really good gift...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well, many of you know the history with my teen daughter and my fears about her exhibiting alcoholic/addict behavior. So she is very in your face and thinks she can say or do whatever she wants with no consequences and I have no way to enforce rules. Last night she got in trouble for shoplifting with he...

Tenderheartsks · Tenderheartsks

I'm down to crunch time in college, only one month left and 3 finals to take, 4 class projects, and an oral exam in medical terminology, plus the daily assignments in all 5 classes. I've had some issues recently with my untreated ACOA dad, and my mom who is still in toxic mode. I've had to keep turning that...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I have had a lot of resentment towards my aunt over the years. Mostly because of her verbal and emotional abuses towards me. It also frustrates me because I work for her and she always tells me what I should do work and non work related. But, today I decided to detach from her. I did was she asked me to do work...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. I have been working step 4 asking myself questions and taking an inventory. It is not always easy to look at ourselves. I'm looking at both the good and not so good qualities about myself. Today I was talking on the...

joyoma · joyoma

I will be having surgery next Wednesday, 11/12/08 to remove the recurring tumor in my leg. Brachytherapy (internal radiation) will be used as part of my treatment. Please remember me and my family, especially my son and grandchild, as I step aside for a week or so to try and defeat this disease. Tak...

smileycat · smileycat

Hi all I am having a bad moment at this time. my A of 21 years thinks that just because he is in recovery that all the problems for the past need to stay in the past. that the reaction of the other poeple in the house has nothing to to with the fact that me live in the family diesae of A. he wants to think that are...

mzkels · mzkels

Hello all I am new to your forum... I figured I needed some help.. but meetings in my area are hours away. I dont know who to talk to - or where to turn. I cant seem to figure out when its safe to trust that my world willnot be upset by my alcholic husband. I am freaked... because I know my anger and need to cont...

weggie · weggie

I physically can't take it anymore. I have been away from this board for awhile, thinking I know all and can handle it. I have realized,,not so much. I have given everything over to my God and I trust him completely. I have come to the end,,,I have found out that my husband is not only an alcholic but a g...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I'm a newbie here so you'll have to forgive all the questions-lol, but I'm still learning....and probally always will be. My question is this......is there a workbook or a certain book/tool for working the steps??? Want to begin but not quite sure where or how.....any input would be appreciated...

Diva · Diva

This is a phrase I hear time and time again. "His/her drinking is none of my business." Who came up with THAT bright idea? Let's say ABF/GF wrecks your car and injures someone in the process. You better believe this is your business. If you don't believe it, just wait and see who gets sue...

gknee · gknee

Hi MIP family-Its been a long time since I've been on here-- not that life has been a bowl of cherries or anything. Here's the long and short of it. My AH of 18 years is still using (with brief episodes of abstinence) During a summer bingefest he hooked up with someone, caught crabs and shared them with me...

Ash · Ash

Ok so my lack of trust and abundance of fear have gotten me into a position of lockdown - almost making myself physically sick. So it occurred to me that some if not most of the thoughts and beliefs in my mind must be wrong. My husband and I are both Alcoholic - I haven't had a drink in over 7 years. I am extr...

Robinks · Robinks

please send me a private message, I want to stay in touch.

Rocky38 · Rocky38

You may have noticed already, but your missing post is back! Regards, Rocky

Codependent · Codependent

Do I trust my higher power to work it out? Do I trust my Higher Power to take care of my A? Do I trust my Higher Power to protect and not just punish my A? Do I trust my higher power to send me someone to share my life...?

Sincerely · Sincerely

Last night was the 1st time in a while that I have been to a meeting. Ya'll are wonderful. Just like bestfriends, I came in late, sat on the sofa and just picked up where we left off a month ago. WONDERFUL, absoutely WONDERFUL! Thanks for being my friends. Sincerely, Tonya

nicegirl · nicegirl

I never really thought of this as a major issue until recently. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we are now thinking about moving in together. He goes out a few times a night to hang with his friends and drink. I used to drink a little with my friends but not to the extent that he does. H...

LEEA · LEEA

There was a point where my daugher, my sister and my boy friend were all living in my house. My boy friend was drinking, and having alot of problems with it. My daughter was not doing what she needed to do to be a productive member of the adult world. She was lying, stealing, refusing to work, and flunki...

intothewoods · intothewoods

Hey everyone! It's been a long time since I've posted, but I'm back with another question. When he's wandering around, beer in hand, and he asks me "What's wrong?" What the heck do I tell him? LOL I'm trying to do my own thing and live for me and have a good night doing what I want to do and letting...

smileycat · smileycat

I am Adult Child of a Alcoholic, a wife of an alcoholic that is in recovery. He has a counsler but where he gose they do not have counsler for the other part of the family disease. I have been going to an al-anon meeting one time a week but would like to find an online meeting to get in to on the other day of the...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

Today I feel like my HP is really guiding me along to get stuff done. I've been surrendering to the Lord all the situations in my life. Yesterday I had a good conversation with my A fiance. It went really well. He respected my boundaries and I was using the program. Not telling him what to do. I didn't discu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

When you let go and let God take over. Ruby Blue at 7 months. I'm wishin I could live forever. (((((hugs)))))

Nicole · Nicole

I am discovering how important it is for me to separate the disease from the person. I am finding that I get into really insane behavior when I forget that I am dealing with sick people. When our literature talks about the family disease of alcoholism, they are literally saying everyone is affect...

HEARTBROKEN IN NJ · HEARTBROKEN IN NJ

Well it finally happened. He crashed again. This time to his all time low (I think). He's drinking, doing drugs and running with the pole dancing strippers again. To top it off, in the last month, he's been pulled over 3, not once, not twice, but 3 friggen times for DUI. 2 times he's been involved in...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

TODAY IS A GOOD DAY! I SLEPT IN & GOT A PRETTY GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP WHICH IS SOMETIMES RARE FOR ME. I GUESS I AM FINALLY TURNING SOME THINGS OVER. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST MONTH. I HAVE FINALLY SETTLED IN BUT THERE IS STILL A LOT TO BE DONE. I JUST TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME, ONE DAY AT A TIME. MY HP SOMET...

smileycat · smileycat

How do you get one and how dose it work?

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((((Family)))))), May I offer a gentle suggestion to the OPs? This is not to criticize the wonderful and hard work you all do. I am very glad that you are here protecting us and guiding us. I so appreciate all the time and dedication you put into this amazing place. You do not get thanked enough. Pe...

debilyn · debilyn

When my whole family passed on, except my two kids, a wonderful gal adopted me. She became mom. I was very very blessed. I lost her two years ago. Her husband is my Dad. He has Ms. and is miserable in pain of all sorts.So far they don't know why. He had an emergency going to the hospital. I could not find him, h...

Rocky38 · Rocky38

Hi MIP family, It's been a while since I last posted or replied to other posts - my apologies - I got the blue screen of death on my personal computer and it has taken me quite a while to get it working again. I'm so happy I finally got it working! Overall, I would say that the last few months for me have been str...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

The three A's Awareness, acceptance, and then action are helping me to be aware of myself and my actions towards my ABF. I have to accept he is an A but also that I make my own choices. I have to take actions that are going to help me by putting my HP and myself first. I have to accept that there are things I cann...

Codependent · Codependent

I went to a funeral today for a mutual friend who overdosed. I saw the A there. We hugged, etc. Apparently before I got to the funeral he, my A, passed out in the parking lot and they called an ambulance. He was sober. They said his blood pressure was a little high but that he was okay. I must admit tha...

lmt123 · lmt123

Hi strangers! It's been I-don't-know-how-long since I last posted here, and I had time tonight to finally log on and visit! I hope everyone is doing well - I've been involved in "life", and trying to get used to being single again. Ex-A and I do get along now, but I don't have to have his a...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I spent a lot of time forgetting a lot of my past due to a very abusive marriage to a A. Spent so much time blocking out the past that it's hard to look back and remember enough to be grateful for where I am now. I'm a single mom and have raised my son by myself for 10yrs with no help from his father. I have f...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

For me worry and obsessive thinking go hand in hand. When I get worried and start to think obsessively about things and all my irrational fears I try to come on here and read peoples shares and share myself. I watch a favorite TV show and have a cup of tea. I do my yoga and meditations. I spend time with my HP....

maire rua · maire rua

Dear All, situation with A step moms illness has deteriorated. She needs to go to a hospice this monday. I did as much as I could yesterday without going into fix mode, though martyr mode was near at times as none of her daughters are here and one considers it too financial a burden at this time and has seen...

Rora · Rora

Today represents one week since my Ah left. I find myself, like many here, wavering btw great sadness about the break up and all that represents and great excitement for a much healthier future. In general, I have a tendancy to seemingly not really deal with emotions very well or deny myself having em...

curlee-girl · curlee-girl

Greetings, I am new to this board and kinda-sorta new to al anon. I have been attending face to face meetings about 2 times a week and am grateful to find these forums. In a nutshell, on 5/2/08 ABF told me he was having and affair. Shortly afterward he was diagnosed w/A and then started therapy and join...

liljeannie · liljeannie

Hello family, Abf has been in treatment now for almost 3 weeks. They have been some of the most peaceful, stress free weeks I have had in a loooong time. I am keeping busy and working on myself. I feel I am doing pretty well until the phone rings. Even from over 1000 miles away, he is still using his mani...

Jennifer · Jennifer

And I need to send out a large THANK YOU to everyone. While I did not reply or post I did turn to MIP at times and read your words. They helped as always. Thank You all again. The big updates on my life, my divorce is final. I lived with a family member taking a break from her husband for a year ... it was extremel...

christinajeanne · christinajeanne

I've been struggling a lot lately with worry and fear. I've had anxiety that plagues me every single day. It gives me comfort knowing that even though I cannot control others and what they do or say I can control my reactions. I'm a people please and for a long time I really went along with everyone else ou...

mia_kay28 · mia_kay28

Im having some monetary issues and was wondering if anybody has a "Courage to Change" that I can have or borrow or even buy relatively cheap. Thank you so much. mia

thisisme · thisisme

My A (also an N) is my sister. There are other A's in my family but this one is the topic of this post. She has been sober for around 15 years but many of her behaviors remained, which is common with sober A's. I need to first say that I have a mental disorder and a mood disorder, and because the family has, for m...

Rora · Rora

As a new member and someone who is still learning about Alanon and codependancy, forgive me if this has been said already, but it's where I am at today.... I had a thought the other day, that my chaotic codependant behaviour(s) have much to do with fear, in that, I try to control a situation or the behavio...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM SO GLAD MIP HAS BEEN AROUND FOR 10 YEARS! I HAVE BEEN ON FOR MAYBE A YEAR--NOT SURE! ANYWAY, I HAVE REALLY ENJOYED & APPRECIATED PAR- TICIPATING IN THE WHOLE SITE. EVERYONE HAS HELPED ME THAT HAS RESPONDED TO MY POSTS. I HOPE THOSE I HAVE GIVEN SOME HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS TO OTHERS. I WILL CONTINUE...

Antigua · Antigua

I posted here once about a year ago. Shortly after that my husband stopped drinking for a little while because I asked him to. I fooled myself into thinking everything was ok. I was wrong. He started drinking again quite a while ago. Slowly at first...and then progressively more. I started find...

kellys_angels · kellys_angels

Hi my name is Kelly and I have been sapareted from my ah about 5 weeks now. We have two little girls who are very hurt by daddy moving out. I can not believe how I found this beautiful family to help my start a recovery that I didn't even know I needed. I have never been alone before and never thought I would...

Sincerely · Sincerely

My A hubby and I have been together for 10 years. I feel like our relationship has been an uphill battle. A battle of drugs and alchol, weight (me),cancers, deaths, step children, xwife, child support, affair, mother in law (my A Mom), and I am sure if i dug deep enough i could fine more. All an uphill b...

wildthang86 · wildthang86

Family I have been out of touch for a little while and have not one excuse for it either. Things have been going well. As far as living with a docile AH can go. He works many more hours recently, which actually helps me deal with the entire situation. I do have my bad times though and wonder what the heck I am d...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi all, Next Sunday is the Business Meeitng. Here is the agenda I have as of now. MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingNovember 2, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of October...

alyse39 · alyse39

Hello everyone,I am new to this forum.I have been married to an alcoholic for 23 yrs. and have 5 kids with him.I have been to hell and back in this marriage already,but the latest hell is by far the worst.He betrayed me in the cruelest wayhe cheated on me with someone we both knew,and were trying to "...

Diva · Diva

I have decided that AlAnon is not the program for me. I will never accept the premise that alcoholism is a disease. If I cannot get past that, I can never accept the other tenets of AlAnon. I have listened to all of you, and I have loved and respected you, mostly in silent disagreement. I thought that...

IndieThinker · IndieThinker

This is a long one...pull up a chair! LOL Hi all; I just discovered this site and thought I'd give it a try. I've been to a few Al-Anon meetings, but I live in a VERY small town (moved here from a big city) and everyone knows everyone...and I haven't connected with anyone like that here...so it hasn't been...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hi everyone, im new and could really use some advice-sorry so long! (Preview) Well, my story is pretty long but to make it a short version here it goes... I met and fell in love with my husband 5 years ago we married soon after. We are in our early 30's and use to go out a lot with friends drinking. I didn't think he had a problem at the time- even though i found out after he had 4 dui's and sp...	hurtnfedup	10	642	Nov 7, 2008 by christinajeanne
	2 weeks today...Ah has been gone (Preview) Today celebrates (yes, celebrates!) the 2 week mark since my Ah moved out. We have a 4 yr old together and so we still have regular contact. As far as where we are going from here,I do not know! What I do know is that I am more at peace. My irregular heart palpatations have significantly reduced. My son...	Rora	8	650	Nov 7, 2008 by Jerry F
	Foolish games (Preview) Hello all, I havent spoken to abf for a couple of days. Not since our last conversation where I came out and directly stated how I felt about the things he was asking of me. I believe I mentioned that he didnt seem too happy. Apparently, I was right on the money. He spoke w/his mom during a conference ca...	liljeannie	6	393	Nov 7, 2008 by maresie
	Chat Room Not Loading (Preview) I haven't been able to get into the chat room. Is there a glitch on the server/site or is it just me?	kitty	3	473	Nov 7, 2008 by kitty
	rage versus detachment AD new (Preview) I am so new. Took a day off work so I could go to a face to face group yesterday, but all the groups in a 30 mile radius are either when I am supposed to be at work or too late at night... 7pm, an hour away from my home. So, I turn to the miracle of the internet? My father is a dry A (but wasn't in my life hardly...	newanon	5	6641	Nov 7, 2008 by kitty
	chatroom (Preview) I went to the chatroom yesterday afternoon several times and there was no one there. no one there this morning, what is going on?	Robinks	5	452	Nov 7, 2008 by kitty
	A question..... (Preview) I have seen (on this board) and heard (at meetings) a lot about loving oneself. SoI guess my question is what does that look like? I grew up in an alcoholic home my first qualifier was my dad. Two days after I graduated from high school I married my second qualifier; I have known him since I was sixteen. We...	binohio	6	634	Nov 7, 2008 by LEEA
	Hope (Preview) This really helped me today and wanted to share it with all of you. Hope does not usually come as the just reward for our hard work and struggle. It comes as a gift. The experience of hope is very much like the experience of receiving a surprise gift that is perfectly suited to our needs. A really good gift...	ddub	3	378	Nov 6, 2008 by nmike
	Teen daughter (Preview) Well, many of you know the history with my teen daughter and my fears about her exhibiting alcoholic/addict behavior. So she is very in your face and thinks she can say or do whatever she wants with no consequences and I have no way to enforce rules. Last night she got in trouble for shoplifting with he...	carolinagirl	8	598	Nov 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	Continuing to act and not react... (Preview) I'm down to crunch time in college, only one month left and 3 finals to take, 4 class projects, and an oral exam in medical terminology, plus the daily assignments in all 5 classes. I've had some issues recently with my untreated ACOA dad, and my mom who is still in toxic mode. I've had to keep turning that...	Tenderheartsks	4	477	Nov 6, 2008 by Jean4444
	Resentments (Preview) I have had a lot of resentment towards my aunt over the years. Mostly because of her verbal and emotional abuses towards me. It also frustrates me because I work for her and she always tells me what I should do work and non work related. But, today I decided to detach from her. I did was she asked me to do work...	christinajeanne	3	480	Nov 6, 2008 by christinajeanne
	step 5 (Preview) 5. Admitted to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. I have been working step 4 asking myself questions and taking an inventory. It is not always easy to look at ourselves. I'm looking at both the good and not so good qualities about myself. Today I was talking on the...	christinajeanne	1	435	Nov 6, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Keep me in your thoughts,please (Preview) I will be having surgery next Wednesday, 11/12/08 to remove the recurring tumor in my leg. Brachytherapy (internal radiation) will be used as part of my treatment. Please remember me and my family, especially my son and grandchild, as I step aside for a week or so to try and defeat this disease. Tak...	joyoma	6	588	Nov 6, 2008 by christinajeanne
	need to vent (Preview) Hi all I am having a bad moment at this time. my A of 21 years thinks that just because he is in recovery that all the problems for the past need to stay in the past. that the reaction of the other poeple in the house has nothing to to with the fact that me live in the family diesae of A. he wants to think that are...	smileycat	7	636	Nov 6, 2008 by smileycat
	help please (Preview) Hello all I am new to your forum... I figured I needed some help.. but meetings in my area are hours away. I dont know who to talk to - or where to turn. I cant seem to figure out when its safe to trust that my world willnot be upset by my alcholic husband. I am freaked... because I know my anger and need to cont...	mzkels	12	672	Nov 6, 2008 by christinajeanne
	When is enough, enough (Preview) I physically can't take it anymore. I have been away from this board for awhile, thinking I know all and can handle it. I have realized,,not so much. I have given everything over to my God and I trust him completely. I have come to the end,,,I have found out that my husband is not only an alcholic but a g...	weggie	8	526	Nov 6, 2008 by maresie
	Question about Steps (Preview) I'm a newbie here so you'll have to forgive all the questions-lol, but I'm still learning....and probally always will be. My question is this......is there a workbook or a certain book/tool for working the steps??? Want to begin but not quite sure where or how.....any input would be appreciated...	shellyj123	4	1019	Nov 6, 2008 by shellyj123
	Not every situation is "none of my business." (Preview) This is a phrase I hear time and time again. "His/her drinking is none of my business." Who came up with THAT bright idea? Let's say ABF/GF wrecks your car and injures someone in the process. You better believe this is your business. If you don't believe it, just wait and see who gets sue...	Diva	15	1416	Nov 6, 2008 by kitty
	detached and detaching (Preview) Hi MIP family-Its been a long time since I've been on here-- not that life has been a bowl of cherries or anything. Here's the long and short of it. My AH of 18 years is still using (with brief episodes of abstinence) During a summer bingefest he hooked up with someone, caught crabs and shared them with me...	gknee	3	485	Nov 6, 2008 by kitty
	Need some clarity... (Preview) Ok so my lack of trust and abundance of fear have gotten me into a position of lockdown - almost making myself physically sick. So it occurred to me that some if not most of the thoughts and beliefs in my mind must be wrong. My husband and I are both Alcoholic - I haven't had a drink in over 7 years. I am extr...	Ash	10	524	Nov 6, 2008 by LEEA
	Mary Poppins (Preview) please send me a private message, I want to stay in touch.	Robinks	0	242	Nov 5, 2008 by Robinks
	BUCKY - your post is back! It's way down the bottom of the page. (Preview) You may have noticed already, but your missing post is back! Regards, Rocky	Rocky38	0	261	Nov 5, 2008 by Rocky38
	Higher Power (Preview) Do I trust my higher power to work it out? Do I trust my Higher Power to take care of my A? Do I trust my Higher Power to protect and not just punish my A? Do I trust my higher power to send me someone to share my life...?	Codependent	5	556	Nov 5, 2008 by carolinagirl
	Warm and Fuzzy Friends (Preview) Last night was the 1st time in a while that I have been to a meeting. Ya'll are wonderful. Just like bestfriends, I came in late, sat on the sofa and just picked up where we left off a month ago. WONDERFUL, absoutely WONDERFUL! Thanks for being my friends. Sincerely, Tonya	Sincerely	4	639	Nov 5, 2008 by Karilynn
	He drinks...and I don't (Preview) I never really thought of this as a major issue until recently. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years and we are now thinking about moving in together. He goes out a few times a night to hang with his friends and drink. I used to drink a little with my friends but not to the extent that he does. H...	nicegirl	6	614	Nov 5, 2008 by maresie
	Now that the cloud of denial is lifting, I can see myself more clearly (Preview) There was a point where my daugher, my sister and my boy friend were all living in my house. My boy friend was drinking, and having alot of problems with it. My daughter was not doing what she needed to do to be a productive member of the adult world. She was lying, stealing, refusing to work, and flunki...	LEEA	6	1150	Nov 5, 2008 by Mariner
	Need some ESH - what do I say to him? (Preview) Hey everyone! It's been a long time since I've posted, but I'm back with another question. When he's wandering around, beer in hand, and he asks me "What's wrong?" What the heck do I tell him? LOL I'm trying to do my own thing and live for me and have a good night doing what I want to do and letting...	intothewoods	9	611	Nov 5, 2008 by blender_girl
	need help (Preview) I am Adult Child of a Alcoholic, a wife of an alcoholic that is in recovery. He has a counsler but where he gose they do not have counsler for the other part of the family disease. I have been going to an al-anon meeting one time a week but would like to find an online meeting to get in to on the other day of the...	smileycat	11	558	Nov 5, 2008 by smileycat
	monday share/just for today/delivered from fear (Preview) Today I feel like my HP is really guiding me along to get stuff done. I've been surrendering to the Lord all the situations in my life. Yesterday I had a good conversation with my A fiance. It went really well. He respected my boundaries and I was using the program. Not telling him what to do. I didn't discu...	christinajeanne	3	585	Nov 5, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Look what happens... (Preview) When you let go and let God take over. Ruby Blue at 7 months. I'm wishin I could live forever. (((((hugs)))))	Jerry F	14	876	Nov 5, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Detachment keeps me sane (Preview) I am discovering how important it is for me to separate the disease from the person. I am finding that I get into really insane behavior when I forget that I am dealing with sick people. When our literature talks about the family disease of alcoholism, they are literally saying everyone is affect...	Nicole	2	452	Nov 5, 2008 by christinajeanne
	He crashed... he burned... but I am 98% detached (today at least) ! (Preview) Well it finally happened. He crashed again. This time to his all time low (I think). He's drinking, doing drugs and running with the pole dancing strippers again. To top it off, in the last month, he's been pulled over 3, not once, not twice, but 3 friggen times for DUI. 2 times he's been involved in...	HEARTBROKEN IN NJ	4	958	Nov 5, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Today is a good day! (Preview) TODAY IS A GOOD DAY! I SLEPT IN & GOT A PRETTY GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP WHICH IS SOMETIMES RARE FOR ME. I GUESS I AM FINALLY TURNING SOME THINGS OVER. SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN THE LAST MONTH. I HAVE FINALLY SETTLED IN BUT THERE IS STILL A LOT TO BE DONE. I JUST TAKE ONE THING AT A TIME, ONE DAY AT A TIME. MY HP SOMET...	Hoot Nanny	3	385	Nov 5, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Sponsor? (Preview) How do you get one and how dose it work?	smileycat	4	749	Nov 5, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Suggestion from an old timer. (Preview) (((((((Family)))))), May I offer a gentle suggestion to the OPs? This is not to criticize the wonderful and hard work you all do. I am very glad that you are here protecting us and guiding us. I so appreciate all the time and dedication you put into this amazing place. You do not get thanked enough. Pe...	Karilynn	2	781	Nov 4, 2008 by canadianguy
	my adoptive father is sick (Preview) When my whole family passed on, except my two kids, a wonderful gal adopted me. She became mom. I was very very blessed. I lost her two years ago. Her husband is my Dad. He has Ms. and is miserable in pain of all sorts.So far they don't know why. He had an emergency going to the hospital. I could not find him, h...	debilyn	4	446	Nov 4, 2008 by debilyn
	Progress not perfection (Preview) Hi MIP family, It's been a while since I last posted or replied to other posts - my apologies - I got the blue screen of death on my personal computer and it has taken me quite a while to get it working again. I'm so happy I finally got it working! Overall, I would say that the last few months for me have been str...	Rocky38	6	1006	Nov 4, 2008 by Karilynn
	The 3 A's (Preview) The three A's Awareness, acceptance, and then action are helping me to be aware of myself and my actions towards my ABF. I have to accept he is an A but also that I make my own choices. I have to take actions that are going to help me by putting my HP and myself first. I have to accept that there are things I cann...	christinajeanne	4	4850	Nov 3, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Seeing Him- Depressed (Preview) I went to a funeral today for a mutual friend who overdosed. I saw the A there. We hugged, etc. Apparently before I got to the funeral he, my A, passed out in the parking lot and they called an ambulance. He was sober. They said his blood pressure was a little high but that he was okay. I must admit tha...	Codependent	4	772	Nov 3, 2008 by hopeful123
	HELLO!!! (Preview) Hi strangers! It's been I-don't-know-how-long since I last posted here, and I had time tonight to finally log on and visit! I hope everyone is doing well - I've been involved in "life", and trying to get used to being single again. Ex-A and I do get along now, but I don't have to have his a...	lmt123	3	335	Nov 3, 2008 by Karilynn
	A little bit of gratitude..... (Preview) I spent a lot of time forgetting a lot of my past due to a very abusive marriage to a A. Spent so much time blocking out the past that it's hard to look back and remember enough to be grateful for where I am now. I'm a single mom and have raised my son by myself for 10yrs with no help from his father. I have f...	shellyj123	3	514	Nov 3, 2008 by ddub
	obsessive thinking (Preview) For me worry and obsessive thinking go hand in hand. When I get worried and start to think obsessively about things and all my irrational fears I try to come on here and read peoples shares and share myself. I watch a favorite TV show and have a cup of tea. I do my yoga and meditations. I spend time with my HP....	christinajeanne	7	1461	Nov 2, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Tough times and alanon tools (Preview) Dear All, situation with A step moms illness has deteriorated. She needs to go to a hospice this monday. I did as much as I could yesterday without going into fix mode, though martyr mode was near at times as none of her daughters are here and one considers it too financial a burden at this time and has seen...	maire rua	5	572	Nov 2, 2008 by christinajeanne
	how do you decipher from distraction and "not dealing"...? (Preview) Today represents one week since my Ah left. I find myself, like many here, wavering btw great sadness about the break up and all that represents and great excitement for a much healthier future. In general, I have a tendancy to seemingly not really deal with emotions very well or deny myself having em...	Rora	6	1240	Nov 2, 2008 by Loupiness
	Should I call my ex-ABF? - longish (Preview) Greetings, I am new to this board and kinda-sorta new to al anon. I have been attending face to face meetings about 2 times a week and am grateful to find these forums. In a nutshell, on 5/2/08 ABF told me he was having and affair. Shortly afterward he was diagnosed w/A and then started therapy and join...	curlee-girl	6	991	Nov 2, 2008 by Diva
	Clarity peppered with confusion.. (Preview) Hello family, Abf has been in treatment now for almost 3 weeks. They have been some of the most peaceful, stress free weeks I have had in a loooong time. I am keeping busy and working on myself. I feel I am doing pretty well until the phone rings. Even from over 1000 miles away, he is still using his mani...	liljeannie	7	448	Nov 2, 2008 by liljeannie
	It's been about year since I spoke here (Preview) And I need to send out a large THANK YOU to everyone. While I did not reply or post I did turn to MIP at times and read your words. They helped as always. Thank You all again. The big updates on my life, my divorce is final. I lived with a family member taking a break from her husband for a year ... it was extremel...	Jennifer	4	457	Nov 2, 2008 by maire rua
	Friday worry/fear (Preview) I've been struggling a lot lately with worry and fear. I've had anxiety that plagues me every single day. It gives me comfort knowing that even though I cannot control others and what they do or say I can control my reactions. I'm a people please and for a long time I really went along with everyone else ou...	christinajeanne	4	680	Nov 1, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Courage to Change--need book (Preview) Im having some monetary issues and was wondering if anybody has a "Courage to Change" that I can have or borrow or even buy relatively cheap. Thank you so much. mia	mia_kay28	2	594	Nov 1, 2008 by mia_kay28
	A tricky situation. (Preview) My A (also an N) is my sister. There are other A's in my family but this one is the topic of this post. She has been sober for around 15 years but many of her behaviors remained, which is common with sober A's. I need to first say that I have a mental disorder and a mood disorder, and because the family has, for m...	thisisme	3	483	Nov 1, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Protection from hurt..... (Preview) As a new member and someone who is still learning about Alanon and codependancy, forgive me if this has been said already, but it's where I am at today.... I had a thought the other day, that my chaotic codependant behaviour(s) have much to do with fear, in that, I try to control a situation or the behavio...	Rora	4	485	Nov 1, 2008 by christinajeanne
	SO GLAD MIP IS HERE! (Preview) I AM SO GLAD MIP HAS BEEN AROUND FOR 10 YEARS! I HAVE BEEN ON FOR MAYBE A YEAR--NOT SURE! ANYWAY, I HAVE REALLY ENJOYED & APPRECIATED PAR- TICIPATING IN THE WHOLE SITE. EVERYONE HAS HELPED ME THAT HAS RESPONDED TO MY POSTS. I HOPE THOSE I HAVE GIVEN SOME HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS TO OTHERS. I WILL CONTINUE...	Hoot Nanny	1	336	Nov 1, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Back after a year (Preview) I posted here once about a year ago. Shortly after that my husband stopped drinking for a little while because I asked him to. I fooled myself into thinking everything was ok. I was wrong. He started drinking again quite a while ago. Slowly at first...and then progressively more. I started find...	Antigua	3	455	Nov 1, 2008 by gknee
	Getting stronger from a safe distance (Preview) Hi my name is Kelly and I have been sapareted from my ah about 5 weeks now. We have two little girls who are very hurt by daddy moving out. I can not believe how I found this beautiful family to help my start a recovery that I didn't even know I needed. I have never been alone before and never thought I would...	kellys_angels	1	381	Nov 1, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Top of the Hill (Preview) My A hubby and I have been together for 10 years. I feel like our relationship has been an uphill battle. A battle of drugs and alchol, weight (me),cancers, deaths, step children, xwife, child support, affair, mother in law (my A Mom), and I am sure if i dug deep enough i could fine more. All an uphill b...	Sincerely	1	412	Nov 1, 2008 by christinajeanne
	Thank you MIP for being here, thank you! (Preview) Family I have been out of touch for a little while and have not one excuse for it either. Things have been going well. As far as living with a docile AH can go. He works many more hours recently, which actually helps me deal with the entire situation. I do have my bad times though and wonder what the heck I am d...	wildthang86	2	294	Nov 1, 2008 by maresie
	November Business Meeting (Preview) Hi all, Next Sunday is the Business Meeitng. Here is the agenda I have as of now. MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingNovember 2, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of October...	Mandy123	1	285	Nov 1, 2008 by mia_kay28
	How Do I get Over The Pain & Sorrow of Cheating,especially when he refuses to help me? (Preview) Hello everyone,I am new to this forum.I have been married to an alcoholic for 23 yrs. and have 5 kids with him.I have been to hell and back in this marriage already,but the latest hell is by far the worst.He betrayed me in the cruelest wayhe cheated on me with someone we both knew,and were trying to "...	alyse39	13	1270	Nov 1, 2008 by alyse39
	After much soul-searching... (Preview) I have decided that AlAnon is not the program for me. I will never accept the premise that alcoholism is a disease. If I cannot get past that, I can never accept the other tenets of AlAnon. I have listened to all of you, and I have loved and respected you, mostly in silent disagreement. I thought that...	Diva	18	627	Nov 1, 2008 by leo
	New Here...with a GREAT need to talk (Preview) This is a long one...pull up a chair! LOL Hi all; I just discovered this site and thought I'd give it a try. I've been to a few Al-Anon meetings, but I live in a VERY small town (moved here from a big city) and everyone knows everyone...and I haven't connected with anyone like that here...so it hasn't been...	IndieThinker	4	530	Oct 31, 2008 by gknee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.