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Seeing Him- Depressed
(Preview)
I went to a funeral today for a mutual friend who overdosed. I saw the A there. We hugged, etc. Apparently before I got to the funeral he, my A, passed out in the parking lot and they called an ambulance. He was sober. They said his blood pressure was a little high but that he was okay. I must admit tha...
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Codependent
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4
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760
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HELLO!!!
(Preview)
Hi strangers! It's been I-don't-know-how-long since I last posted here, and I had time tonight to finally log on and visit! I hope everyone is doing well - I've been involved in "life", and trying to get used to being single again. Ex-A and I do get along now, but I don't have to have his a...
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lmt123
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3
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322
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A little bit of gratitude.....
(Preview)
I spent a lot of time forgetting a lot of my past due to a very abusive marriage to a A. Spent so much time blocking out the past that it's hard to look back and remember enough to be grateful for where I am now. I'm a single mom and have raised my son by myself for 10yrs with no help from his father. I have f...
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shellyj123
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3
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502
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obsessive thinking
(Preview)
For me worry and obsessive thinking go hand in hand. When I get worried and start to think obsessively about things and all my irrational fears I try to come on here and read peoples shares and share myself. I watch a favorite TV show and have a cup of tea. I do my yoga and meditations. I spend time with my HP....
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christinajeanne
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7
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1446
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Tough times and alanon tools
(Preview)
Dear All, situation with A step moms illness has deteriorated. She needs to go to a hospice this monday. I did as much as I could yesterday without going into fix mode, though martyr mode was near at times as none of her daughters are here and one considers it too financial a burden at this time and has seen...
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maire rua
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5
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560
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how do you decipher from distraction and "not dealing"...?
(Preview)
Today represents one week since my Ah left. I find myself, like many here, wavering btw great sadness about the break up and all that represents and great excitement for a much healthier future. In general, I have a tendancy to seemingly not really deal with emotions very well or deny myself having em...
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Rora
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6
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1086
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Should I call my ex-ABF? - longish
(Preview)
Greetings, I am new to this board and kinda-sorta new to al anon. I have been attending face to face meetings about 2 times a week and am grateful to find these forums. In a nutshell, on 5/2/08 ABF told me he was having and affair. Shortly afterward he was diagnosed w/A and then started therapy and join...
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curlee-girl
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6
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978
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Clarity peppered with confusion..
(Preview)
Hello family, Abf has been in treatment now for almost 3 weeks. They have been some of the most peaceful, stress free weeks I have had in a loooong time. I am keeping busy and working on myself. I feel I am doing pretty well until the phone rings. Even from over 1000 miles away, he is still using his mani...
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liljeannie
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7
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436
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It's been about year since I spoke here
(Preview)
And I need to send out a large THANK YOU to everyone. While I did not reply or post I did turn to MIP at times and read your words. They helped as always. Thank You all again. The big updates on my life, my divorce is final. I lived with a family member taking a break from her husband for a year ... it was extremel...
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Jennifer
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4
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442
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Friday worry/fear
(Preview)
I've been struggling a lot lately with worry and fear. I've had anxiety that plagues me every single day. It gives me comfort knowing that even though I cannot control others and what they do or say I can control my reactions. I'm a people please and for a long time I really went along with everyone else ou...
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christinajeanne
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4
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668
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Courage to Change--need book
(Preview)
Im having some monetary issues and was wondering if anybody has a "Courage to Change" that I can have or borrow or even buy relatively cheap. Thank you so much. mia
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mia_kay28
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2
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583
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A tricky situation.
(Preview)
My A (also an N) is my sister. There are other A's in my family but this one is the topic of this post. She has been sober for around 15 years but many of her behaviors remained, which is common with sober A's. I need to first say that I have a mental disorder and a mood disorder, and because the family has, for m...
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thisisme
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3
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468
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Protection from hurt.....
(Preview)
As a new member and someone who is still learning about Alanon and codependancy, forgive me if this has been said already, but it's where I am at today.... I had a thought the other day, that my chaotic codependant behaviour(s) have much to do with fear, in that, I try to control a situation or the behavio...
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Rora
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4
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474
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SO GLAD MIP IS HERE!
(Preview)
I AM SO GLAD MIP HAS BEEN AROUND FOR 10 YEARS! I HAVE BEEN ON FOR MAYBE A YEAR--NOT SURE! ANYWAY, I HAVE REALLY ENJOYED & APPRECIATED PAR- TICIPATING IN THE WHOLE SITE. EVERYONE HAS HELPED ME THAT HAS RESPONDED TO MY POSTS. I HOPE THOSE I HAVE GIVEN SOME HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS TO OTHERS. I WILL CONTINUE...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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324
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Back after a year
(Preview)
I posted here once about a year ago. Shortly after that my husband stopped drinking for a little while because I asked him to. I fooled myself into thinking everything was ok. I was wrong. He started drinking again quite a while ago. Slowly at first...and then progressively more. I started find...
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Antigua
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3
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443
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Getting stronger from a safe distance
(Preview)
Hi my name is Kelly and I have been sapareted from my ah about 5 weeks now. We have two little girls who are very hurt by daddy moving out. I can not believe how I found this beautiful family to help my start a recovery that I didn't even know I needed. I have never been alone before and never thought I would...
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kellys_angels
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1
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368
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Top of the Hill
(Preview)
My A hubby and I have been together for 10 years. I feel like our relationship has been an uphill battle. A battle of drugs and alchol, weight (me),cancers, deaths, step children, xwife, child support, affair, mother in law (my A Mom), and I am sure if i dug deep enough i could fine more. All an uphill b...
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Sincerely
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1
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396
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Thank you MIP for being here, thank you!
(Preview)
Family I have been out of touch for a little while and have not one excuse for it either. Things have been going well. As far as living with a docile AH can go. He works many more hours recently, which actually helps me deal with the entire situation. I do have my bad times though and wonder what the heck I am d...
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wildthang86
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2
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285
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November Business Meeting
(Preview)
Hi all, Next Sunday is the Business Meeitng. Here is the agenda I have as of now. MIP Al-Anon Business MeetingNovember 2, 2008Open with Serenity PrayerSecretary's Report: Approval of October...
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Mandy123
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1
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274
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How Do I get Over The Pain & Sorrow of Cheating,especially when he refuses to help me?
(Preview)
Hello everyone,I am new to this forum.I have been married to an alcoholic for 23 yrs. and have 5 kids with him.I have been to hell and back in this marriage already,but the latest hell is by far the worst.He betrayed me in the cruelest wayhe cheated on me with someone we both knew,and were trying to "...
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alyse39
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13
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1253
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After much soul-searching...
(Preview)
I have decided that AlAnon is not the program for me. I will never accept the premise that alcoholism is a disease. If I cannot get past that, I can never accept the other tenets of AlAnon. I have listened to all of you, and I have loved and respected you, mostly in silent disagreement. I thought that...
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Diva
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18
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595
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New Here...with a GREAT need to talk
(Preview)
This is a long one...pull up a chair! LOL Hi all; I just discovered this site and thought I'd give it a try. I've been to a few Al-Anon meetings, but I live in a VERY small town (moved here from a big city) and everyone knows everyone...and I haven't connected with anyone like that here...so it hasn't been...
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IndieThinker
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4
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517
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Just for today
(Preview)
Just for today I will not let anything steal my joy. Just for today I will relax knowing my HP is looking out for me. Just for today I will take care of myself and do what's best for me to get healthy. Just for today I will be grateful for everything I have. Just for today I will not worry about tomorrow or obses...
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christinajeanne
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7
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519
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Happy Halloween!
(Preview)
(((((Family))))), Just wanted to wish all of you a very HAPPY HALLOWEEN! To those of you who have youngsters going trick or treating - have a ball! I'll be taking my traditional walk around the neighborhood looking at all the decorations along with the ghosts, goblins and politicians running amok...
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Karilynn
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1
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315
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Miracles In Progress Al-Anon Family Group Turns 10 years old!
(Preview)
2008 Hello Family and Friends of Alcoholics! On November 8th, 2008 the Miracles In Progress Al-Anon Family Group will turn 10 years old. On this date in 1999, the group held its first online group business meeting. This business meeting started what has turned out to be the spring board for our cont...
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John
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5
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572
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Feeling down...
(Preview)
I have spent soooo very much of my life taking care of and focusing on everyone else and their life and problems, and trying to be the World's Best Mom, and the World's Best Daughter, and the World's Best Everything that I am not sure quite where to begin just focusing on me. I am in love with a sober Aboyfr...
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shellyj123
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7
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399
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Anyone having trouble getting into chat?
(Preview)
Hi Ya'll, Is anyone besides me having trouble getting into the chatroom? I am just getting a blank white page. Thanks, o2bnormal
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o2bnormal
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3
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500
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to the wonderful business meeting people
(Preview)
Hey red flags went up for me when I read in the October minutes about considering a fundraiser. See of the "Twelve Traditions" Number 7 is very specific:"Every AA group to be self-supportiving,declining outside contributions." There would be no way to do this anonymously pl...
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debilyn
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3
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394
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A progressive disease/problem, what-have-you
(Preview)
I woke up this morning and this thought of alcoholism being progressive came to me. I look at my current situation and I think , why the * did I have a child with him, when I knew all this? Why didn't I sever the relationship months/years ago? How did I come to be in this situation? While I realize that my Ah h...
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Rora
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7
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382
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one day at a time
(Preview)
Thanks for all your kind responses and for all the shares I've read today. I know I need to just take it one day one step at a time. Life can seem so overwhelming but as long as I do the best I can and take it one day at a time I will be ok. I also need to spend more time with my HP. I realized I've been neglecting that...
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christinajeanne
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1
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385
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So glad MIP is here
(Preview)
It's been an up and down week for me so far, but I'll have to say between attending the online meetings and lurking on this message board I have sooo benefited from all of the love and ESH that is out here. It's so comforting to know that I can safely spew out what ever's going on in my life and no one here will j...
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blender_girl
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3
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416
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hello alanon family
(Preview)
Wanted to update everyone on how things are going. Even though there were a few rough days when my mom first got here, everything worked out just fine. Guess we had to get used to eachother again after not seing eachother for a year. We really had a great few weeks together. We even briefly talked about my...
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buick23
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4
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441
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Easing of rescuing
(Preview)
Dear All, Well I collected the A-brother's stuff on monday, unfortunately I gave him money that I shouldn't really have, my father has started to collect people at the airport though I did ring to offer to bring a guest back for thursday. I am not needed and this is good at present, no drama or trouble. I h...
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maire rua
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3
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278
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My reality today
(Preview)
I have money in the bank. I checked my 401K/investments, etc. I have lost much money less than some and more than others. My relationships at work are crap. My personal relationships are crap too. My relationship with my AHSober is next to nothing. My three sons are off on their life paths. Don't forget...
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nmike
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7
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497
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Introduction
(Preview)
Hi, My name is Christina. I'm new to these message borads. I've been attending meetings for about two weeks now. I've already found so much help through peoples shares and the al-anon literature. I've been going through the steps and am still really working with the first 3. I have just started explor...
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christinajeanne
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2
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296
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Tuesday Share
(Preview)
Today has been a stressful day for me. I went to work and my boss who is also my aunt is very stressful for me to be around. I know I need the courage to change what I can and find another job away from her because all she does is complain (I know I am right now) but she is so negative. She is also verbally and emoti...
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christinajeanne
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3
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431
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Tick Tock Tick Tock
(Preview)
Well, its been well over a month since Ive spoken with my ex A b/f. Once in a while I receive an email from him. Kinda sappy emails but I dont let it get to me. Ive stayed strong and havent given into my desire to call him. My dilemma is this: Any day now he should be starting his jail sentence. Althou...
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HEARTBROKEN IN NJ
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7
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437
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Another day down! ...
(Preview)
If you don't mind, I'd just like to "blah" a little and if something strikes you to respond, I always appreciate it. Some of the wisest people I know visit this site!! Brief background, my Ah and I have been married 7 years, we have a 4 yr old son. We've struggled for many years, we've been des...
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Rora
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4
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471
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I am in need of your input
(Preview)
As some of you may know I am new to alanon & this forum, but am sure glad it's been here. Here's my dilemma: I had to have my A boyfriend arrested last night, as he went from happy and calm to crazy & raged . . . like flipping a light switch on and off (yes he was drunk). He is being released this afte...
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nocontrol
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10
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679
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Speechless
(Preview)
Just got off the phone with abf. He is in a treatment center in Florida working on his recovery. He went into detox two weeks ago, and from there went to an inpatient facility. He has been gone for exactly two weeks today. I received two letters in the mail from him today and have spoken to him twice, on...
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liljeannie
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6
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283
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Sailing with Capt. Morgan - Higher Power at work
(Preview)
It took me a while to feel like I could be alone. Truth is that I still feel compelled to reach out to others to fill the void that my ex and his drinking left behind when he moved out. It hasn't been easy figuring out who I am and what I want out of life. There's sex (finally after 4 years), going out, travel...
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Gared
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4
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491
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Just a sad case...
(Preview)
Hello, it's me again. I feel like I'm posting a lot lately. Long story short, I have been diagnosed with a few things all in one day. Turns out that I not only have Lymes, but I have been walking around with strep throat undiagnosed, and it has gone into my kidneys. I have had no symptoms other than absolu...
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hopeful123
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4
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442
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Need a suggestion
(Preview)
I have issues surrounding my Mother in law who is possibly an addict, not sure yet. But she will do anything to suck us into her life. She has begun this thing of giving us gifts on a monthly basis. I don't want the gifts because anything she does for us comes with too many strings attached. She always has a...
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Nicole
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8
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560
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Feeling desperate & anxious
(Preview)
Tonight my AH left again. Saying he needed to "sleep" and although he slept all last night and all day today he insisted on leaving. I feel like such a sucker. He has broken so many of his promises to stop drinking or drugs. I've finally started trying to go to meetings and of course he hates it a...
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angelchar375
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4
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660
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Alanon at work & passing it on.
(Preview)
(((((Family))))), Good Sunday morning to you all. I hope you are enjoying your weekend. I wanted to share this story with you. Even though I no longer have an A in my life due to my hubby's passing, I still need to use my program. The program doesn't leave us because we no longer have As in our life. Th...
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Karilynn
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7
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617
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how to encourage with detachment?
(Preview)
Hi, My AH is just getting started in AA but still drinking some (is that possible?). I had to put our son in day care since AH was drinking and deteriorating quickly and I no longer felt safe with him as caregiver. He knows he can't be a stay at home dad unless he is sober - no alcohol and I won't give him a timef...
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andica
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6
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682
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Just need to "talk"
(Preview)
This is the only place I can express myself and my anxieties. My post on TH and FRI of last week re: my latest cancer diagnosis has brought me many responses; thanks to everyone. I have had no contact with EXDIL since she stopped by Friday with the grandbaby. She and I had horrible words last week via ph...
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joyoma
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3
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574
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"The purpose of life"
(Preview)
I absolutely LOVE quotes, and use them often in my photo editing, etc... While reading today I came across one that really touched me and made me stop and count my blessings. "The purpose of life, is a life of purpose". I have no idea who said it first but they were obviously a very wise person...
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shellyj123
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5
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476
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Having a hard time...
(Preview)
Hello everyone. I have a bad habit--and I could use a little help. On my facebook account, I have two "friends" who are close to my ex ABF. Every now and then, I cannot help but check their pages or comments (which pop up under my account). This is how I "check up" on the A. Mind yo...
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hopeful123
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5
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534
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Revelation #9672
(Preview)
Yes, it's come to me, another startling, yet painfully obvious moment of truth: I feel like I have too much responsibility and I can't handle it. Real life stuff like kids, house, car, pets, ect. Insurance and taxes on all of the above. I was thinking about getting pet insurance. I'm not going to, but it...
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RainyJamie
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3
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622
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I am getting well again!
(Preview)
just a short note to let y'all know that I am getting better! The stress is starting to lift. I am so grateful. My HP is in the center of my life & I have gratitude that comes from him. Keep coming back--it will work! Kathleen
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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427
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HELP
(Preview)
I am very new to this and have been reading some posts and not sure I can or will find help here. All I really know is that I have been living my life like this for so long that the depression meds and everything else I try dont even work anylonger. I have been here for so long that I have no self esteem, respec...
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lastchance
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3
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483
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forgive
(Preview)
i woke up this morning with old thoughts in my new [alanon] head. memories of stories i had been told, memories of stories i had lived. it began a long time ago. a young woman known as N, married at age 18 a man twenty years her senior. this union, was to be the beginnig of a short life for her and a long life for...
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jewely
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10
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532
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no one else would understand
(Preview)
I know you would think by now I would be "over it" or "cured" sadly no. The last two months of surgeries, tooth pulled, injury to my leg and on and on. I have to take pain med. HATE it. Feels so frustrating that nothing works, I mean legs, fingers, hands, head. Fixing a fence gate, wha...
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debilyn
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8
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542
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Just here...
(Preview)
Up and down like a yoyo. One minute I am okay, the next I am sobbing. So much unfinished business between me and my papa. Each time I eat I am sick, so I am trying to keep the fluids up. Feel empty and lost and lacklustre. It is hard enough just getting up everyday and my crutches feel like they weigh ten tons r...
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Suzannah
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5
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482
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Going to treatment
(Preview)
Just found this forum. two weeks ago I got a DUI and then plead guuilty. I now realize that I need treatment. I go in next Saturday. Im a successful high school teacher and a father. I guess I need some advice on what to tell my children and my students about my treatment. Thanks
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kevbo65
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6
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732
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It's been a while...
(Preview)
I've been here before, but not for a while now... though the story remains the same. My Ah left again tonight. This time though I don't have a clue where he went. Things have been rough, for a long time, but the past week, lots and lots of sadness within me and hopeless "discussions" with him....
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Rora
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5
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434
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I really need your prayers this week...
(Preview)
I have some court-related divorce stuff to deal with this week. I have a judge who is siding with my ex, massively and unfairly. I have an attny who costs alot and doesnt give a rip. I live 1000 miles from where all the court stuff is happening and cannot get there to deal with stuff more directly w/o quitti...
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Jean4444
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17
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611
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Another trip to my "happy place"
(Preview)
The morning started at 8am with one of our renters filing a "formal complaint" against me-accusing me of calling Animal Control on his dog (I did not, and in fact am a VERY big animal lover-3 cats, 4 kittens and 3 dogs to date reside in my bed (s) nightly. It went from that to "trying&qu...
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shellyj123
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3
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470
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Bipolar excuse?
(Preview)
Well, here's a new one he's come up w/, and I'm either too dumb to accept it as an excuse or is it valid? ABF has always been lazy, sleeps 90 % of the day, blows off work and me and children and then can be the overactive attentive BF. Well he relapsed a couple weeks a go. Lost yet another job and is now wanting to...
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soconfused
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11
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1778
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