The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
so i wrote a post the other day about my relationship with my codependent bf. he is not an alcoholic or addict but is a acoa and definatly codependent. anyways i see alot of my same behaviors in this relationship as i did when i was with my a. should i be treating him in the same manner i would treat an a??? in my post i wrote how horrible we are together and blah blah blah venting. now yesterday and today is a different story. i came on this site the nite of our bickering and read a bunch of alanon lit and found myself acting differently again. happier and kinder to him. a million times before he said i am a major cause to our fighting. i know he contributes of course but could i be the cause??? since my change in attitude yesterday and today ive felt happier and we have been getting along. i havnt felt myself in so long like i lost who i was and when i came back on this site the other nite it brought back alot of reminders to me and it seems to be helping. i really need this program with an a or not. i need to work on me and remember how to take care of me again. im starting from scratch again. i need to stop caring so much what others think of me just like i used to. i need to learn to let go let god and trust in him just like i used to . i need to focus on me just like i used to. let go of this people pleasing crap and be me and happy again. ty all for listening
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stay in the now...dont look forward, dont look back....your life is what you make of it
Amazing isn't it? We have the tools, but forget where we put them, or put them away, thinking we don't need them anymore. I will try to NEVER put them away, and you have reminded me of that. Thank you. We are all MIPs. The process of learning and coping never ends. Let us paint a beautiful picture on our tool box and carry it like a purse. Keep it with us all the time. The tools we have been given helps us in all aspects of our lives.
I think you answered your own question.... I think you should treat YOU the same as you did before in Al-Anon.... take care of yourself, practice healthy self-care things..... get to a place where YOU are happy with YOU..... the relationship will work, or it won't..... but you are the constant in all of this....
It may sound trite, but if "you like you", then good things will follow...
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
