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Helping, Enabling, or Interfering?
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new to this board and I don't know much about Al-Anon, but maybe someone familiar with the principles of it can help: My 30-something sister has never grown up because my parents enable her to live completely dependent on them. They bought her a house, cars and pay for everything she needs and w...
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angeleyes
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4
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1328
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So sad and trying to heal from alcoholic relationship. Please tell, was it the alcohol or me?
(Preview)
I had a panic attack and I've been crying for 3 days. I wanted so much for this to work. I liked him SO much (when he was nice) and we had mutual chemistry and I haven't felt like this for years. My questions are about how my ex boyfriend treated me. I keep wondering what I did wrong, why did he treat ME this...
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hanila
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11
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1396
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Where did the "edit" button go?
(Preview)
Did you find it? Please tell me where it is hiding....Thanks, Diva
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Diva
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3
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675
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easing his way back into drinking
(Preview)
So my husband is easing his way back into drinking after almost a year of sobriety, imposed on him by me of course. I posted a little more about this in an introduction a few days ago. A few weeks ago he mentioned drinking again, I told him no, he was nice about it, he practically begged on the 4th of Jul...
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Lotus
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12
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755
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Vacation from
(Preview)
The end of June, I rented a Town & Country, and set off for a trip, 900 miles, from Ohio to Kansas, to visit my 88 year old mother who just moved into assisted living. With me, was traveling my 33 year old daughter, her husband of 5 years, his two teen age sons, and my granddaughter who is 19 months old. W...
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Becky1
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6
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736
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Little actions make things happen.
(Preview)
I've been really putting off getting the storage situation together. Now I've made progress the goal seems to be getting closer and things are happening for me. I know now when I get stuck I have to take action no matter how small and keep taking the action. I can just get marooned in my stuckness and n...
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maresie
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2
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561
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Alcohol's Empty Promises Poem
(Preview)
Can somebody PLEASE help me find the poem that is something about all of alcohol's empty promises? It talks about how the alcohol beckons the alcoholic, and how the alcoholic ultimately loses his friends, his job, his home and eventually his life. I had a copy of it, I cannot even recall one line of the...
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ESH
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5
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13400
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Bad Accident, need prayers.
(Preview)
Just to let you my friends know.........I have not been able to access the chat room lately. My middle son had a bad car accident and he is in the ICU. I am able to check this message board occasionally so I will. I just wanted you all to know and to request prayers. L. rolled his car several times, was throw...
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doxie
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15
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494
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Say a prayer for me .. Please?!?!?
(Preview)
Alright last apartment I applied for I was denied because of y bad credit. :( I just found one on Craigslist privately owned and first explained I had bad credit and asked if it was even worth me to apply for it. She says credit doesn't matter and application fee is FREE!!! I just went and drove past it have...
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Melissa21
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10
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684
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guilt
(Preview)
Hello everyone i'v just read todays Courage to Change and today its about GUILT. As the Mother of my AD i have great problem with this one. My AD started drinking as a teenager cos she had probs coping with the fact she was Gay.( I didn't know she was Gay till many years after.) My problem is, i gave birth t...
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mary j
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5
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638
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Copyrighting (a gentle reminder)
(Preview)
Because this site is home to so many I really find this issue important to revisit. This a partial share I've posted before and updated to include #2 found in the FAQS * * * * * * * When I read: All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval syste...
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tea2
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2
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834
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Learning my lesson
(Preview)
Hello family, When I first came to Alanon all those years ago, and then returned via this family, I would never have thought that I would still think of myself as a child, but I do. I have so much to learn and it seems that as soon as I have learnt one lesson there is another just waiting in the wings for me to b...
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Suzannah
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5
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679
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Boyfriend's drug addict brother
(Preview)
So bf has an addict brother (oxycotton) who just got kicked out of the marines (in basic) and is now coming to live with him and his dad and step mom. He says... first thing I need to do when he gets there is take his phone... I talk to him about detaching and alanon and hope I can get him to go but if not I have to...
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carolinagirl
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5
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700
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feeling resentful with bad expectations
(Preview)
Dear all, have had a bad few days and in terrible form, made some bad decisions and am angry at how a neighbour has taken advantage, there is nothing I can do about same now, action done. My ex-a is doing less and less so more and more gets put onto me, I feel as if I am sliding backwards with no time for me anymo...
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maire rua
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5
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671
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new here
(Preview)
God i dont know where to start............. ok im a mum of 3 kids and husband to whom ive been married to for 10 years. 16 days ago after a weekend drunk session with his "mates" he admitted he was an alcoholic of 12 years getting worse over the last 7. I was really pleased that finally he had adm...
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rach04
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7
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907
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Doxie's son update.......good news and tragic news
(Preview)
This is a very bittersweet post for me. I will give you the good news first. Lucas is doing so well. His broken neck is healing very well after surgery. His shoulders and jaw are also healing very well. He had another CT Scan last night and his liver and spleen are no longer bleeding and the swelling is goin...
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doxie
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11
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836
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Good Days vs Bad Days
(Preview)
I have found my self all day wanting to read and acquire knowledge from others. Today was a good day, my AH starts drinking everyday about 4pm and drinks until 7 or so; JB on the rocks...As long as the kids and I are at home, cook dinner, etc.. he is tolerable. But should we have plans away from the house, h...
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Searching for Peace
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3
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449
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think think think (I think!)
(Preview)
HI everyone, A short share on my progress. I have been straining my brain thinking that I feel my head will blow off! Not knowing where my life is going, single or married etc. I want to make plans that don't include my AH anymore but what if he gets sober? Any plans I make while he isn't thinking about AA are...
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silver brumby
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8
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924
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Great resources!
(Preview)
Hi. I was reading Mr. Sponsor Pants' wonderful blog at: http://mrsponsorpants.typepad.com/mr_sponsorpants/ He is a long time AA sponsor with good insight into 12 step work that can help EVERYONE. Mr. Sponsor Pants recently posted a link to the Top 100 Overcoming Addiction blogs at : http://onli...
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Bella333
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3
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488
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a realization....
(Preview)
Hello, So I am the child of an alcoholic. My father was a functioning alcoholic, up until my grandma passed away when I was 14. For the next five years he lost multiple jobs, friends, ect. I've tried everyway possible to help him, through support, family, and rehab. Finally, I just ended a relationsh...
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Mayamatty
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6
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551
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Childish Reactions
(Preview)
My A has recently come into a bit of money. We are both relatively young -26 and 28. It is the first time in his life that he has money and is able to buy things like a computer, electronics, nice clothes, etc. We were sufficient before, both working but, now he has had money for these "Extras". I...
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RunnerChick
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5
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504
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New to the board - where to start?
(Preview)
Hi All, I have just recently started attending Al-Anon meetings in my local area. So far I have only been handful of times. I am committed to going but most of the time I find it really, really hard. I haven't been able to say anything during the open meeting because I just feel sick and it's hard to open t...
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Varda57
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7
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431
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sharing something
(Preview)
Most people here know I am a JW. Another person who considers themself a JW came down on me about some things I share here. I wanted to make it clear that I am here because I need to be here. Loving A's in my life is part of me. I learned to feel comfortable with that and make sure the pits of the disease no longer...
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debilyn
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6
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604
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When does this disease just DIE/Go Away...
(Preview)
Just wanted to update and say sorry I haven't been of much help here of late, been very busy in some things and very annoyed in others... Abrother now has the family in an up roar again, and I have backed out slowly but my Mom is still the Whip'n Post for everyone else. I am trying to deal with those feelings a...
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Jozie
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1
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523
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There is a pattern
(Preview)
My AHsober said that he had put in a bid on a house. Although, he says he wants a divorce we are still legally married. I told him that he can't do that. And if he does he will have to sell it when we divorce. He got really angry and hung up the phone. He has always been a good provider for our family. Every few yea...
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nmike
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6
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643
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What Would Al-Anon Do?
(Preview)
My husband seems to be slacking on the basic maintenance of our pool these days. The pool has always been his responsibility for as long as we've been together. We live in Arizona and it's really hot now, so the pool needs extra attention. Do I figure out how to do those things and start taking care of...
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N8SMOM
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9
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524
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A nice weekend!
(Preview)
I just wanted to share something nice for a change.....we had a terrific weekend! Took the kids to Storyland on Friday and just hung out the rest of the weekend. My A boyfriend did not drink at all which is strange. I'm not sure why he didn't but then we don't understand why they do anything they do. Al...
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Holly09
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2
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306
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Here we go again UPDATE
(Preview)
I posted a few days ago about my sister overdosing once again. To help make this clear I'll call the sister that overdosed sister #1 and the other sister #2. Yesterday sister #1's doctor asked to meet with the family today so my mother, sister #2, my brother and myself went over there. We sat for over a...
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Mobirdie
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4
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712
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thinking about my dad today
(Preview)
and how his bottom was his death. A son went to a MVA hearing today for his dui. His lawyer told him to bring someone with him as he would probably not be able to drive home after the hearing. The other day he called and made an appointment to have one of those things you blow into installed on his car. The appo...
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Gailey
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4
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782
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News in... Arggggg
(Preview)
I swear, I don't know why we even have a system.. I mean honestly...My Abrother has been arrested EVERY YEAR for the last 12 years, "His 1st DWI was when he was 18" he will be 30 this Fri. Now all this crap started because He DID NOT show up at court, so they call the ones that bailed him out "...
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Jozie
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5
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633
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JUST GETTING STARTED
(Preview)
Hello, I am 48 yrs old, married 20yrs with 15yr boy/girl twins. For the last year our life has been a mess. My spouse is drinker and verbal abuser. His drinking and abuse has gotten worse over the years, last year things esclated to the point he moved out, in, out and in. I have been to counseling (alo...
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Searching for Peace
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4
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479
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A disease that makes ppl HATE you....
(Preview)
Was just reading lots of posts and got to thinking....
Everyone keeps saying this is a disease, I liked the post that compared it to a mental disease - comparing it to a physical disease - I can see that straining my logic...
A mental disorder can make ppl hate you, fear you, resent you, try to correct...
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Loveridden
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4
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1695
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THINK bracelets???????Where can I find one?
(Preview)
My ex used to have this cloth like bracelet he wore all the time that simply had the word THINK on it.....I would love to find one for myself as I could use the constant reminder but haven't been able to locate any online and will not call and ask where he got his... Does anyone know where I can find one of thes...
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shellyj123
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9
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1398
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ESH needed, fast track ticket to the pit
(Preview)
Hi all, been awhile since i have posted, but i still come here every morning to get my daily dose of love, support and esh... Lived through hell of living with my fiance for years, finally got to a point where it was me dying slowly or him. Told him to leave, dug into alanon and started a new life for me and my...
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inhisarms
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7
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675
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Good weekend:looking forward to another one!
(Preview)
Most of the time I try to live one day at a time! But lately I have been noticing that I look forward to the future a little more! It is kinda funny when you consider that I used to really look forward to dying & that I would definitely been in a better place than this "crappy" world! Today is...
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Hoot Nanny
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1
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477
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Getting Married
(Preview)
Someone I care a great deal about is getting ready to do something I would normally advise against... she's going to marry an alcoholic... me!! I was married before. 5 years drinking, then 5 years sober. Then 15 years sober and single, over 12 without being in any kind of real relationship. We've b...
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barisax
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18
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898
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Here we go again
(Preview)
I have spent the majority of my life trying to protect the addicts/alcoholics in my family from themselves. I thank my higher power every night for this program for without it I hate to think where I would be right now. My sister has a long history of alcohol and prescription drug abuse. I have lost cou...
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Mobirdie
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4
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415
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In a relationship with an alcoholic and have more questions
(Preview)
Previously, I posted my experience with my "boyfriend" and how he's treated me in our relationship. He is an alcoholic. I don't know if these are actions caused by the alcoholism or not. To review my story, I had mentioned that he was critical of me or makes side comments about how I'm t...
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hanila
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8
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1669
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I'm 1,000 miles away and my husband just checked himself in to the hospital.
(Preview)
I've never done or experienced anything like this before and I need help. My husband and I just got married about 3 weeks ago. We've always been long distance, and I'm at my home wrapping things up and packing before I make a permanent move to his home in Missouri in about another month. I just got off the p...
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kinsey
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5
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821
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I love days like today!
(Preview)
Hello and Hugs, I love days like today. HP knew what he was doing when he woke me up before 9am this morning. I didn't have any plans, but wasn't wanting to wake up that early on my only day off. Anyways, trying to get healty I went to the grocery store and got some healty food. Washed ALL my clothes (too...
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Sincerely
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2
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394
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HELP with chatroom problems
(Preview)
I use java and for some reason when I click to enter chat it doesn't load at all. Never had this problem before. I've cleared cookies and all that and it still isn't working. What do I do? I see the little java icon down by the time on the destop.... Never mind got it to work now! -- Edited by Melissa21 on Sunda...
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Melissa21
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1
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493
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hoping for a good week
(Preview)
i am hoping to have a good week this week. i'm hoping to keep not-smoking (one day at a time with that) and try to fit in some exercise. i'm wondering where my husband is right now, but am going to turn it over to my HP before i go to sleep. love and hope and peace to all of you , -xter
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xter
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1
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409
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My role in alcoholism.
(Preview)
I've faced a LOT of pain in the last 7 months. Coming to terms with the fact that my husband had an affair and is an alcoholic is overwhelming most days. I had never known the depths of depression until this time. I have done a LOT of soul searching. I realize I have a very hard time facing my own emotion...
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Inpain
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8
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922
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feel like I'm three
(Preview)
today I ws so scared of my roommate that I didn't come out of my room.
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billileli1
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7
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7041
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help a couple of questions
(Preview)
Hi, I am pretty new here. And I have been in the chat room and at some of the meetings. I have met some wonderful people and they have giving me some great advice. But how to you do it. I mean the advice you get. Here is a little history of my situation. Right now my husband is serving 88 days in county jail for h...
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janmarie
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3
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410
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Boundaries and heartache
(Preview)
On Thursday night I packed a small rucksack with a change of clothes, a towel, toiletries, mobile phone and charger, a copy of courage to change and a copy of this....... which was posted on MIP this last week..... A Cherokee fable: One evening, a grandfather was teaching his young grandson about the...
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Ness
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3
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471
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Why Do I...............
(Preview)
feel the need to defend myself? I hate that about myself! I am people pleasing, stupid, weak knee, ninny. I want to get past the point of being back on my heels, I was raised to not to confront, to keep things to yourself, no one wants to hear you complain. All the above I have taken with me through my life...
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DreamsOver
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6
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442
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help for the al-ateen board
(Preview)
The teen board needs help. Teens are posting there again but there's no support for them. People need to reply to their posts and be there for them. I'm trying to do better again tho I don't always succeed. Lanchas
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Lanchas
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2
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229
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Business Meeting postponed
(Preview)
Because of the holiday weekend we are postponing the business meeting. We will meet on Sunday July 12th at 9pm est. Please pm me if you have any agenda items. Happy 4th of July . hugs, danz
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danz123
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1
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385
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Blame & the resentment
(Preview)
Going through my one day at a time in al anon book - I came across an entry that talks about blame and resentment. I will not post the entry here because I see that would be copyright infringement, but I would like to discuss it.
My alcoholic boyfriend likes to blame EVERYTHING on me......everything an...
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Loveridden
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5
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2669
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What is happening?
(Preview)
I have a few questions, but I'll explain the situation first. My husband and I have been married almost 4 years, and have a very young son. He was an alcoholic when we married, and because of his violent temper, I had to demand that he keep his drinking under control (he wouldn't stop) but he worked his way...
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Lotus
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8
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1010
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Detachment - Where to draw the line?
(Preview)
Hello, I'm new here. I'm new to all of this in fact. I've only been to one meeting a few weeks ago to see if it "made sense" to me. Unfortunately I am finding that it did. So here my question. I heard about Detachment and I have tried to read about it some on the web. I've been reading the some of...
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Eve55
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3
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879
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Doing better
(Preview)
Update from last post where A told me he is going to inpatient treatment and will need a new liver. I think when I posted I was just really scared and angry with him. I didn't know what to think. Maybe that was it I didn't THINK at all. I just started worrying and much of what I have learned hear sort of slipped...
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Melissa21
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2
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348
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first post at Alanon board, roommate doesnt' drink, but is dysfunctional
(Preview)
Hello. Billi here, and I have a dysfunctional housemate. I realize he doesn't have a drinking problem, but I suffer from the same kind of problem that an "AlAnon" might. He is depressed and won't go to therapy. I am watching him slowly die right now of depression. I cant' afford to move out,...
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billileli1
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4
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693
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fears.....
(Preview)
I am just amazed at where my mind goes sometimes...the fear and anxiety that I actually manufacture on my own self! Gotta let go - let my HP take care of things, it's always the same answer.... Serenity is the goal, right? One day at a time! Best to everyone - Christine
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CAM0914
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3
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589
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Look inward first and then...
(Preview)
look elsewhere. Aloha Family. I was feeling a bit over weight in the mental, emotional and spiritual self and stopped what I was doing for a minute to look at why. It only takes a minute now LOL. What I found out was that I wasn't asking my self the "what is my part in the situation first". ...
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Jerry F
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7
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795
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No wonder I am single
(Preview)
Went down to the horses to check water and give scritchees. Picked up the piece of flat messed up hose that "somebody" Left acrossed the road all two weeks.... As I walked back one of those garden truck things, not very tall six wheels with a bed in back to put stuff in was coming. I went in my ga...
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debilyn
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15
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917
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Wy do I do this to myself? What causes these triggers? In need of some ESH....
(Preview)
For some reason yesterday and today-especially today, I am consumed with the urge to snoop on EXABF's myspace page. I have no idea why, or where it came from. Perhaps it is my being sick and wanting what used to be comfort. Or an obsession- just wanting to know what/who he is doing. I don't know wher...
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shellyj123
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10
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1036
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Twice in a century......
(Preview)
((((Family)))), This is pretty cool. Precisely at 12:34:56 today we will have a complete number sequence of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 because today is 7/8 and the year is 2009! It happened earlier this morning too but I missed it. I had no idea until I heard it on the news. Neat stuff. Enjoy your day. Love and bl...
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Karilynn
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3
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606
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its like I'm trying to convince him...
(Preview)
When I examine my behaviour towards my aH from whom I am separated I have realized that for the past several years, even while we were still together, I have this very annoying habit of trying to convince him what a jerk he is. It drives him crazy as you can imagine and actually it's pretty irritating for m...
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Rora
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7
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869
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