Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

jdaniel · jdaniel

Hi, I'm new to this (just signed up) and need some advice. I've been to some al-anon meetings over the past few years but things are heightening. My mother is an alcoholic - has admited it in the past, but never engaged with recovery. Last weekend we went out for a meal, with 4 of us there, she was the only on...

maresie · maresie

There is a very good memoir out at the moment called "Lit" by Mary Karr. Mary describes her alcoholism, relapses and eventual sobriety insightfully and this was a revelation to me. I know while I drank socially I never depended on alcohol the way an alcoholic did. I also know that I made b...

Dyinginside · Dyinginside

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

AlaMom · AlaMom

It has been yet again so long since posting to this board. Time constraints & busy lifestyle I use as my excuses not to visit more often both on MIP & f2f meetings. Poor excuses not to take care of spiritual & emotional well being for sure. However, if there is one thing that I know is that I...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

I have an outdoor Christmas tree that I bought last year - I had been wanting it for a long time and found it on sale for a great price. I decided to keep it in the garage after Christmas and didn't bother to take it apart. Unfortunately, my husband (while driving drunk) ran into it and ruined it (most likel...

jasobel · jasobel

Hi all - I haven't posted in a while but am back - had the stomach flu which was nasty. I have posted a bit about my boyfriend who left his sobriety, left me and went to live with someone else for 3 weeks on a huge drinking binge. Well now he is back living with me and sober and going to daily AA meetings. He is do...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

HATE IT!! Hate what alcohol does to those addicted it to it. HATE what it does to those around the addict. AH was vomiting all day yesterday and, as a consequence had seizure/fit last night. Scared h*ll out of my poor son. I am getting used to them (HATE that I'm getting used to them) Did not call ambulance...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I went and saw my convict AH in the big house yesterday. He came out and looked different. Something was wrong. I have known him 39 years. I mean involved in every way. I asked about his cell mate if he had gotten out. He did. Then he turned bright red, I thought he was going to cry. I want you to know this man he...

essgee1952 · essgee1952

For the past few years, I've done the minimum when it comes to Christmas decorating. No help from AH, and fewer and fewer people coming by, even his kids. You know... Earlier this year, I reconnected with an old friend, who has been through some stuff the last couple of years and come out the other side...

Mandy123 · Mandy123

Hi family, I haven't posted recently. I have been a bit busy and trying to there is so much happening that I don't always know how to slow down the thoughts enough to get them to come out a few at a time let alone one at a time. Today was a weird day for me. I work for a social services agency. We provided case man...

supermom · supermom

Hello all. I have mentioned before that I am not the "tech-y" kind of person. What does "ESH" stand for? Thanks for the help.

inhisarms · inhisarms

I have lived my life on a roller coaster for 2 years. My xabf was and is the love of my life. He is the most amazing, intelligent, kind, genuine and loving person i have ever met when he is sober. Problem is he is an alcoholic/addict and becomes the exact opposite when he uses. He has done AA too many times...

smy922000 · smy922000

My husband is an active alcoholic. We have been married 17 years. He has tried a variety of programs, including AA and still drinks (he is not currently in AA). I have been to Al Anon but have not found that it helps me dealing with just interacting with an alcoholic. He wants to stop drinking but "c...

faith432 · faith432

Well I am new to the message board and to Al-Anon. I have been married to my A not alcoholic but ADDICT!!! He could be an alcoholic but his preference ...the preference that has ruined our life is CRACK. My A was clean and sober for 10 1/2 years 1994-2005. He gained his sobriety by accepting Jesus as hi...

QOD · QOD

It has been a really really long time since I have posted here. Life has been rolling along for me. I have been taking my ups and downs pretty well I think. Let's see, to sum things up: My exAH and I have been back to dating since Oct 2008. He lives with his grandma & I live in my house with our kids whom...

Nodaybut2day · Nodaybut2day

Hi all, I'm writing this because I have doubts about whether or not my X is actually an alcoholic or just an "alcohol abuser", as in someone who drinks heavily or moderately depending on the situation, but who is able to stop at some point. The reason I ask is because lately, since I have left m...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

So the ex AH has been staying on the upstairs couch for about 6 weeks now. I have had another issue with oldest daughter who will probably be going to wilderness camp within the next 2 months and because of that position I cannot in good conscience rely on her to take care of her younger brother and siste...

ally · ally

Guys As i continue to grow and find a new confidence in myself in ways i never believed possible. Life is what i'm finally allowing it to be for me. I'm not overly confident. I'm very easy going, down to earth and i love to laugh and make others laugh too. People call me the likes of "crazygirl or n...

Gailey · Gailey

I was not going to go to my meeting last night as I sat in my recliner with snuggly pjs on in front of my Christmas tree. I hate to go back out when I get home from work but this has been a very trying week for me with the A son and a lot of other things. I thought to myself...how can I keep tring to urge my son to go to m...

KellyCO · KellyCO

Hello to everyone - I have been going to a great weekly Al-Anon meeting for 9 months but am new to this forum. I would love to hear from anyone with ideas about how to talk to my kids about their father's alcoholism. My daughter is 10 and my son just turned 8. I only learned of my husband's chronic drinking...

mc3 · mc3

This is a strange question coming from a child of an A. My mother left him because of his drinking but I was to young to remember what he was like then. I am 37 and just in the past few years getting to know my father. I moved closer to him to build a realationship with him. He was forced to stop drinking for h...

gknee · gknee

Hi MIP gang- tonight I did a little personal history lesson and read ovey the posts I started since I joined MIP. WOW! Eye opening. It gives actual dates to the lurid details of life with my addict husband. I actually still loved him back 4 years ago..... So this next detail I could have cut and pasted from...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, wow living in reality is tough. My ABF has had a slip after 6 months and is living back in his mums. We are having contact via the phone. He is very upet, angrey, wollowing in self pity. it was his birthday couple of days ago I took a small present and card to his mums. He asked me to call back a...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), I am asking for prayers for the family of Richard Antoun. He was an anthropology professor that was stabbed to death yesterday in his office. He was 77 years young. He had more energy at that age than 100 of me combined. A sweet, gentle kind man who life touched many. I found out at...

shadow1 · shadow1

((((Family)))) I just wanted to say a great big THANK YOU for all your support, thoughts and prayers. I'm home from the hospital and doing well..... A bit tired but over all much better than I expected Take care Kim/Shadow

Tracy · Tracy

I really need to have strenght to be couragoues to take care of me for the first time in my life rather than everyone else. People have told me in the past that my kindness is my weakness. I do tend to understand another pain and then go into the fix it mode. However I have learnt from Al anon that we are a...

Dyinginside · Dyinginside

Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I'll make a long story short. I've been with my BF for 5 yrs. We don't live together. The 5 yrs have been very volatile to say the least. I could not for the life of me understand why our relationship was so up and down. My BF drank, but he was never a fall down drinker or a class...

MaryPoppins · MaryPoppins

Dear Friends, I am feeling quite sad lately, crying a lot. Next week is my wedding anniversary, my sixteenth. For all of the first fifteen years we were married, my husband was a horribly hard drinking serious A. I am not talking weekend binges, I am talking daily drunkenness to the point of blackout...

maresie · maresie

I have a new therapist now and our first session went pretty well. I have a full three sessions before Christmas to get started on some topics. I am now having to take a lot of responsibility for permitting the last therapist to cross significant boundaries. I know I can go into people pleasing at the d...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Saying Relapse is part of being an addict, is true. It does not have to mean the addict is using again, they can also relapse into addictive behavior, which sadly almost always ends up with the addict using again. Relapse is a processs. The addict who has had a strong program for many years, starts to not...

RLC · RLC

To all my MIP family, I would like to inform you that my brother Ray loss his 6 month battle with cancer this past Thrusday. He fought a brave battle which was no surprise to me. He was given a military funeral and buried Saturday in the town where he and I were raised, Newton, Mississippi. Th...

Wife of A · Wife of A

Hi there I'm new here. I just don't know what to do. I have reached out to Al-anon before in terms of finding info. Right now, I feel like crap. I think my hubby is an A. Well, I know he has a problem. But he's a functioning one. In any case, I found his drinking to be a big problem. He would drink himself stupid e...

glad · glad

It just recently dawned on me, not sure why now. That during the first few years of our relationship anytime I would bring up a subject of intimate discussion- you know those conversations that most "normal" couples just have as they get to know eachother, beliefs, values and feelings- we...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Hi gang! Had a couple of rough days here. Struggling with making sense of my thoughts. I go from over thinking about the drinker in my life. Almost fantasy thinking, where nothing was bad in the relationship. Only thinking of the good times. At these times I am heart sick. Went I shake myself and t...

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Her it is Saturday night. I worked hard all day. My husband was supposed to make dinner for me (his turn). I got home, said Hello, ....no answer. He was asleep on the recliner. (not a good sign - no dinner and asleep) I could tell by his speech that he had a small amount to drink. Some nights are much wo...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

First of all I'd like to thank Jozie and all of the prayers that were sent out for me on Friday....This is an amazing group of people and an amazing place. As those of you who follow my posts know, I have been stressing for weeks over the pre-surgery tests I had to have Friday. I don't have all the test resul...

cidiera · cidiera

I am facing a very hard decision. I've been with a man that I love very much for a little over 3 years, now. He has a problem with taking pain medicine, and it has escalated since I've met him. He's gone from taking one low dose vicodin every couple of months when I first met him to snorting 40 miligram per...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I'm just curious if anyone has ever experienced with the A in their life a way that they finally were able to control their drinking? For instance, say that the drinking was always out of control, affecting eveything, and then the got to a point to where they were able to drink and not get out of control an...

lolli09 · lolli09

Hi all, this is my situation. Me - 23 yrs sober AA, 15 yrs Alanon. He 15 yrs sober. We have been in relationship for 3 years, have had some fantastic times together... even a trip to Europe this summer. He has his home, I have mine. We live mostly independent lives, not glued at the hip but we have never...

ditto · ditto

Im not sure how I should have handled this situation. At the invitation of a client, I went to her house for a business meeting. The meeting concerned certain aspects of her house, so it is necessary for us to meet there to review items she wants. I have been to her home a number of times in the past and hav...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all.... just wanted to let you all know that for the first time ever, I wrote out Christmas cards to the 13 fellows per John's list that he posted on here a couple of days ago.... It "cost me" two hours of time, plus 13 cards & stamps. The benefits outweigh the costs, as I felt wonderfu...

Diva · Diva

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr Seuss. This quote appears at the bottom of Canadianguy's posts and responses. I agree wholeheartedly. Diva

Misshopeful · Misshopeful

Hi everyone, Not sure what to write here but I know I've got to try something or I may just lose my mind! Once again I've done what I "feel" is right and asked my A to leave. So here I am alone, again with a little less hope than last time but not ready/willing to let go. Today someone told me he will n...

Jozie · Jozie

I have a favor to ask all of MIP... As most of you know shelly123 has been having some health issues, pretty serious stuff... Well today she is at the Docs gettin some test run and they currantly found more problems. All I ask is that ALL of you take the time to say a Little Prayer for her, she has alot on her p...

jasobel · jasobel

My boyfriend who left me for 3 weeks due to a relapse (who was sober for 9 months) was with another woman. Now he is back with me and sober again - back to AA meetings nightly. I am dealing with all of the emotions except the obsession over him returning to this other woman. He said he didn't love her. She is an...

John · John

Please add the two additional people below, who have just entered the MIP recovery houses to your holiday card list. The houses are now full so there will be no other new names coming out after this. New Residents; Bobby S. 413 Strada St. Wilmington, NC 28409 and Adam M. 2704 Oleander Dr. Wilmingto...

Nodaybut2day · Nodaybut2day

Ok, I'm confused. Since we have gone to mediation twice, and since having "a talk", my X is behaving very strangely, as in, he's actually behaving "nicely". I really don't know what to make of it. We had 1 visit with him last week-end that went well. My stepson wasn't there (I have...

maresie · maresie

I seem to be on a new level of grief about the ex A and my relationship with him. The more I look at it the more I see all his crises, health problems ( of course his trumped mine no matter what), work problems, car issues, family issues were power and control mechanisms. There is no question he always had t...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I started 2 post over the past week. I got a lot of support, understanding, and hopefully, it helped some. Considering my situation (divorce is pending) I feel as though that I'm doing okay. That is, my foundation is pretty solid, even though my life situation is pretty bleak at the moment. But I sti...

fishinmama · fishinmama

ok I know my focus should be elsewhere, but I have just been reading past posts and notice how many a's hook up with another woman/man right after separating from the somene they have been in a relationship with. How can they move on so quickly. Is it because they follow the path of least resistance? W...

lacewing · lacewing

Hello all, I am asking my fellow Al-Anoners to please consider offering up some much needed prayers for another al-anoner, who is having quadruple bypass tomorrow afternoon. He and I have been conversing by way of Yahoo Messenger for the past 4 days. I am doing my best to keep him occupied as well as k...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am trying very hard to hang in there! It has been a rough road but I am still here. I have struggled with my sanity for almost 24 years & that happens to be how long since I went to my first meeting--one month to go. For all of you who haven't been with us long: there is hope! If I can make it this long &...

Misshopeful · Misshopeful

Hi! I have a question...although I realize it may be different from person to person I can't help wondering: what has worked best for most people with A spouses, is it better to be supportive and kind toward them, or is it better to "detach" yourself and express the pain and anger we feel? I'm...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((((My Dear Friends)), Thank you for all the wonderful responses to my post....it helped me so very much.....I found the strength to pick myself up and get those decorations up....and It made me feel much better.......and my g=daughter can look out the window and see Santa now..lol.... For...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

As some of you here and others have reminded me "Why are you taking on this search and not him". I knew full well I needed to keep backing off and let him be responsible for what comes next. You know when that mom thing kicks in your heart takes over your brain. LOL So I backed off and lo and beh...

Debilyn · Debilyn

It is my esh that we don't. What I have felt and see on our mip board is, we come to a place where we are comfortable with having love for that sick person and knowing it is the disease we hate and blame all the hurt on. This does not mean we will keep that "in love" type feeling. For me it was I was han...

Leelee · Leelee

Hi there everyone. I am new to this outlet - have participated in Alanon in the past but stopped going when I thought my hubby stopped drinking "too much" - isn't that a hoot? I have been wondering why in the world I would want to stay with my husband. I am going to seek spiritual direction fr...

angel66 · angel66

Hi Everyone, I'm back after being off of the board for about a year. I guess things calmed down w/ my AH but recently my life has been pure CHAOS ! Today I'm taking my 13 yr old daughter to see a psychologist b/c she is so stressed due to his increased drinking and the family dynamics. I feel sick that I hav...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey All... As most of you know, the month of Nov is a tough one for me, My AFather died that month, has a birthday that month, and pasted on Thanksgiving..So Yeah.. Rough Month, and THIS Year was the first whole year since he pasted...1st birthday in Heaven... However... i think Oct. was harder, only be...

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

AFiance called me while I was at work and he was walking 2.5 mi to the emergency room to check himself into the psych ward. We talked when he got there just to check in. I called the hospital last night to make sure he was there and was safe. I'm just full of sadness. I love him so much and I just keep hoping t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	An evening with my A. mother (Preview) Hi, I'm new to this (just signed up) and need some advice. I've been to some al-anon meetings over the past few years but things are heightening. My mother is an alcoholic - has admited it in the past, but never engaged with recovery. Last weekend we went out for a meal, with 4 of us there, she was the only on...	jdaniel	2	924	Dec 10, 2009 by Jerry F
	Recommendation for understanding the alcoholic. (Preview) There is a very good memoir out at the moment called "Lit" by Mary Karr. Mary describes her alcoholism, relapses and eventual sobriety insightfully and this was a revelation to me. I know while I drank socially I never depended on alcohol the way an alcoholic did. I also know that I made b...	maresie	5	995	Dec 10, 2009 by mc3
	Great info on how to detach (Preview) http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/	Dyinginside	9	1542	Dec 10, 2009 by mc3
	Sea of Chaos (Preview) It has been yet again so long since posting to this board. Time constraints & busy lifestyle I use as my excuses not to visit more often both on MIP & f2f meetings. Poor excuses not to take care of spiritual & emotional well being for sure. However, if there is one thing that I know is that I...	AlaMom	4	1143	Dec 9, 2009 by maresie
	Christmas Resentment (Preview) I have an outdoor Christmas tree that I bought last year - I had been wanting it for a long time and found it on sale for a great price. I decided to keep it in the garage after Christmas and didn't bother to take it apart. Unfortunately, my husband (while driving drunk) ran into it and ruined it (most likel...	N8SMOM	6	1167	Dec 9, 2009 by N8SMOM
	New Sobriety Behavior Confusing (Preview) Hi all - I haven't posted in a while but am back - had the stomach flu which was nasty. I have posted a bit about my boyfriend who left his sobriety, left me and went to live with someone else for 3 weeks on a huge drinking binge. Well now he is back living with me and sober and going to daily AA meetings. He is do...	jasobel	3	1294	Dec 9, 2009 by Jerry F
	Hate it! (Preview) HATE IT!! Hate what alcohol does to those addicted it to it. HATE what it does to those around the addict. AH was vomiting all day yesterday and, as a consequence had seizure/fit last night. Scared h*ll out of my poor son. I am getting used to them (HATE that I'm getting used to them) Did not call ambulance...	Tattyhead	6	1116	Dec 9, 2009 by Tattyhead
	?Another bad addict in prison situation. (Preview) I went and saw my convict AH in the big house yesterday. He came out and looked different. Something was wrong. I have known him 39 years. I mean involved in every way. I asked about his cell mate if he had gotten out. He did. Then he turned bright red, I thought he was going to cry. I want you to know this man he...	Debilyn	5	872	Dec 9, 2009 by maresie
	I Decorated For Me! (Preview) For the past few years, I've done the minimum when it comes to Christmas decorating. No help from AH, and fewer and fewer people coming by, even his kids. You know... Earlier this year, I reconnected with an old friend, who has been through some stuff the last couple of years and come out the other side...	essgee1952	8	929	Dec 8, 2009 by lolli09
	Giving what I can, and getting so much more (Preview) Hi family, I haven't posted recently. I have been a bit busy and trying to there is so much happening that I don't always know how to slow down the thoughts enough to get them to come out a few at a time let alone one at a time. Today was a weird day for me. I work for a social services agency. We provided case man...	Mandy123	1	618	Dec 8, 2009 by Maria123
	ESH question (Preview) Hello all. I have mentioned before that I am not the "tech-y" kind of person. What does "ESH" stand for? Thanks for the help.	supermom	1	507	Dec 8, 2009 by Mandy123
	The roller coaster came to a crashing halt (Preview) I have lived my life on a roller coaster for 2 years. My xabf was and is the love of my life. He is the most amazing, intelligent, kind, genuine and loving person i have ever met when he is sober. Problem is he is an alcoholic/addict and becomes the exact opposite when he uses. He has done AA too many times...	inhisarms	9	1343	Dec 8, 2009 by Dyinginside
	Confused... dry drunk behavior? Please help (Preview) My husband is an active alcoholic. We have been married 17 years. He has tried a variety of programs, including AA and still drinks (he is not currently in AA). I have been to Al Anon but have not found that it helps me dealing with just interacting with an alcoholic. He wants to stop drinking but "c...	smy922000	12	1784	Dec 8, 2009 by Dyinginside
	New to admitting I am co-dependant...WHAT!!!REALLY!!! (Preview) Well I am new to the message board and to Al-Anon. I have been married to my A not alcoholic but ADDICT!!! He could be an alcoholic but his preference ...the preference that has ruined our life is CRACK. My A was clean and sober for 10 1/2 years 1994-2005. He gained his sobriety by accepting Jesus as hi...	faith432	4	980	Dec 8, 2009 by Jerry F
	I'm Back!!! And boy has life been crazy! (Preview) It has been a really really long time since I have posted here. Life has been rolling along for me. I have been taking my ups and downs pretty well I think. Let's see, to sum things up: My exAH and I have been back to dating since Oct 2008. He lives with his grandma & I live in my house with our kids whom...	QOD	2	675	Dec 8, 2009 by QOD
	Can a drinker stop drinking? (Preview) Hi all, I'm writing this because I have doubts about whether or not my X is actually an alcoholic or just an "alcohol abuser", as in someone who drinks heavily or moderately depending on the situation, but who is able to stop at some point. The reason I ask is because lately, since I have left m...	Nodaybut2day	10	1485	Dec 8, 2009 by Nodaybut2day
	My latest dilemma (Preview) So the ex AH has been staying on the upstairs couch for about 6 weeks now. I have had another issue with oldest daughter who will probably be going to wilderness camp within the next 2 months and because of that position I cannot in good conscience rely on her to take care of her younger brother and siste...	carolinagirl	6	928	Dec 8, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	I Have A Question (Preview) Guys As i continue to grow and find a new confidence in myself in ways i never believed possible. Life is what i'm finally allowing it to be for me. I'm not overly confident. I'm very easy going, down to earth and i love to laugh and make others laugh too. People call me the likes of "crazygirl or n...	ally	8	797	Dec 8, 2009 by Mattie
	my f2f last night (Preview) I was not going to go to my meeting last night as I sat in my recliner with snuggly pjs on in front of my Christmas tree. I hate to go back out when I get home from work but this has been a very trying week for me with the A son and a lot of other things. I thought to myself...how can I keep tring to urge my son to go to m...	Gailey	4	817	Dec 8, 2009 by Rita G
	How do I talk to my kids about their father's alcoholism? (Preview) Hello to everyone - I have been going to a great weekly Al-Anon meeting for 9 months but am new to this forum. I would love to hear from anyone with ideas about how to talk to my kids about their father's alcoholism. My daughter is 10 and my son just turned 8. I only learned of my husband's chronic drinking...	KellyCO	7	3106	Dec 8, 2009 by Nodaybut2day
	how do you convince your A, they are an A? (Preview) This is a strange question coming from a child of an A. My mother left him because of his drinking but I was to young to remember what he was like then. I am 37 and just in the past few years getting to know my father. I moved closer to him to build a realationship with him. He was forced to stop drinking for h...	mc3	9	1227	Dec 8, 2009 by maresie
	How do u extract the A from the house? (Preview) Hi MIP gang- tonight I did a little personal history lesson and read ovey the posts I started since I joined MIP. WOW! Eye opening. It gives actual dates to the lurid details of life with my addict husband. I actually still loved him back 4 years ago..... So this next detail I could have cut and pasted from...	gknee	3	979	Dec 8, 2009 by kitty
	letting go (Preview) Hi everyone, wow living in reality is tough. My ABF has had a slip after 6 months and is living back in his mums. We are having contact via the phone. He is very upet, angrey, wollowing in self pity. it was his birthday couple of days ago I took a small present and card to his mums. He asked me to call back a...	Tracy	4	899	Dec 8, 2009 by Dyinginside
	Prayers for victim's family. (Preview) ((((Family)))), I am asking for prayers for the family of Richard Antoun. He was an anthropology professor that was stabbed to death yesterday in his office. He was 77 years young. He had more energy at that age than 100 of me combined. A sweet, gentle kind man who life touched many. I found out at...	Karilynn	6	982	Dec 7, 2009 by wp
	Thank you!! (Preview) ((((Family)))) I just wanted to say a great big THANK YOU for all your support, thoughts and prayers. I'm home from the hospital and doing well..... A bit tired but over all much better than I expected Take care Kim/Shadow	shadow1	7	784	Dec 7, 2009 by wp
	courage (Preview) I really need to have strenght to be couragoues to take care of me for the first time in my life rather than everyone else. People have told me in the past that my kindness is my weakness. I do tend to understand another pain and then go into the fix it mode. However I have learnt from Al anon that we are a...	Tracy	2	861	Dec 7, 2009 by inhisarms
	I'm just so confused, I'm scared (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm new to this site. I'll make a long story short. I've been with my BF for 5 yrs. We don't live together. The 5 yrs have been very volatile to say the least. I could not for the life of me understand why our relationship was so up and down. My BF drank, but he was never a fall down drinker or a class...	Dyinginside	9	1211	Dec 7, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Feeling VERY VERY sad, need help with this (Preview) Dear Friends, I am feeling quite sad lately, crying a lot. Next week is my wedding anniversary, my sixteenth. For all of the first fifteen years we were married, my husband was a horribly hard drinking serious A. I am not talking weekend binges, I am talking daily drunkenness to the point of blackout...	MaryPoppins	9	1057	Dec 7, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	new therapist (Preview) I have a new therapist now and our first session went pretty well. I have a full three sessions before Christmas to get started on some topics. I am now having to take a lot of responsibility for permitting the last therapist to cross significant boundaries. I know I can go into people pleasing at the d...	maresie	3	968	Dec 7, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Relapse is more than using again. (Preview) Saying Relapse is part of being an addict, is true. It does not have to mean the addict is using again, they can also relapse into addictive behavior, which sadly almost always ends up with the addict using again. Relapse is a processs. The addict who has had a strong program for many years, starts to not...	Debilyn	12	1983	Dec 7, 2009 by MrsGratitude
	Tribute To My Brother (Preview) To all my MIP family, I would like to inform you that my brother Ray loss his 6 month battle with cancer this past Thrusday. He fought a brave battle which was no surprise to me. He was given a military funeral and buried Saturday in the town where he and I were raised, Newton, Mississippi. Th...	RLC	8	1099	Dec 7, 2009 by tea2
	I'm new.. ish (Preview) Hi there I'm new here. I just don't know what to do. I have reached out to Al-anon before in terms of finding info. Right now, I feel like crap. I think my hubby is an A. Well, I know he has a problem. But he's a functioning one. In any case, I found his drinking to be a big problem. He would drink himself stupid e...	Wife of A	2	902	Dec 7, 2009 by canadianguy
	In case someone else has similar communication issues regarding trusting (Preview) It just recently dawned on me, not sure why now. That during the first few years of our relationship anytime I would bring up a subject of intimate discussion- you know those conversations that most "normal" couples just have as they get to know eachother, beliefs, values and feelings- we...	glad	5	1094	Dec 7, 2009 by DreamXL
	My thinking is a mess! (Preview) Hi gang! Had a couple of rough days here. Struggling with making sense of my thoughts. I go from over thinking about the drinker in my life. Almost fantasy thinking, where nothing was bad in the relationship. Only thinking of the good times. At these times I am heart sick. Went I shake myself and t...	fishinmama	5	1394	Dec 7, 2009 by DreamXL
	Feeling So sad and All Alone (Preview) Her it is Saturday night. I worked hard all day. My husband was supposed to make dinner for me (his turn). I got home, said Hello, ....no answer. He was asleep on the recliner. (not a good sign - no dinner and asleep) I could tell by his speech that he had a small amount to drink. Some nights are much wo...	wifeofalcoholic	6	1227	Dec 6, 2009 by Jerry F
	A new perspective.........Finding gratitude and serenity in the insanity of life. (Preview) First of all I'd like to thank Jozie and all of the prayers that were sent out for me on Friday....This is an amazing group of people and an amazing place. As those of you who follow my posts know, I have been stressing for weeks over the pre-surgery tests I had to have Friday. I don't have all the test resul...	shellyj123	1	878	Dec 6, 2009 by hotrod
	Facing a hard decision. (Preview) I am facing a very hard decision. I've been with a man that I love very much for a little over 3 years, now. He has a problem with taking pain medicine, and it has escalated since I've met him. He's gone from taking one low dose vicodin every couple of months when I first met him to snorting 40 miligram per...	cidiera	11	1049	Dec 6, 2009 by GailMichelle
	Controlled Drinking.... Is it possible? (Preview) I'm just curious if anyone has ever experienced with the A in their life a way that they finally were able to control their drinking? For instance, say that the drinking was always out of control, affecting eveything, and then the got to a point to where they were able to drink and not get out of control an...	sdisnie	11	1619	Dec 6, 2009 by Holly09
	Need objective feedback (Preview) Hi all, this is my situation. Me - 23 yrs sober AA, 15 yrs Alanon. He 15 yrs sober. We have been in relationship for 3 years, have had some fantastic times together... even a trip to Europe this summer. He has his home, I have mine. We live mostly independent lives, not glued at the hip but we have never...	lolli09	9	1194	Dec 6, 2009 by lolli09
	The Other Side Of The Coin (Preview) Im not sure how I should have handled this situation. At the invitation of a client, I went to her house for a business meeting. The meeting concerned certain aspects of her house, so it is necessary for us to meet there to review items she wants. I have been to her home a number of times in the past and hav...	ditto	3	894	Dec 5, 2009 by Jerry F
	MIP (fun) Christmas Card Challenge.... (Preview) Hi all.... just wanted to let you all know that for the first time ever, I wrote out Christmas cards to the 13 fellows per John's list that he posted on here a couple of days ago.... It "cost me" two hours of time, plus 13 cards & stamps. The benefits outweigh the costs, as I felt wonderfu...	canadianguy	9	2042	Dec 5, 2009 by serendipity
	Mantra (Preview) "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." Dr Seuss. *This quote appears at the bottom of Canadianguy's posts and responses. I agree wholeheartedly.* *Diva*	Diva	5	1687	Dec 5, 2009 by tea2
	Newbie-end of my rope... (Preview) Hi everyone, Not sure what to write here but I know I've got to try something or I may just lose my mind! Once again I've done what I "feel" is right and asked my A to leave. So here I am alone, again with a little less hope than last time but not ready/willing to let go. Today someone told me he will n...	Misshopeful	8	956	Dec 5, 2009 by Karilynn
	Prayer Request for Shellyj123.... (Preview) I have a favor to ask all of MIP... As most of you know shelly123 has been having some health issues, pretty serious stuff... Well today she is at the Docs gettin some test run and they currantly found more problems. All I ask is that ALL of you take the time to say a Little Prayer for her, she has alot on her p...	Jozie	6	1039	Dec 5, 2009 by Karilynn
	Relationships and infidelity and alcohol (Preview) My boyfriend who left me for 3 weeks due to a relapse (who was sober for 9 months) was with another woman. Now he is back with me and sober again - back to AA meetings nightly. I am dealing with all of the emotions except the obsession over him returning to this other woman. He said he didn't love her. She is an...	jasobel	12	2052	Dec 5, 2009 by blender_girl
	Final Holiday Card Request (New Info) (Preview) Please add the two additional people below, who have just entered the MIP recovery houses to your holiday card list. The houses are now full so there will be no other new names coming out after this. New Residents; Bobby S. 413 Strada St. Wilmington, NC 28409 and Adam M. 2704 Oleander Dr. Wilmingto...	John	0	659	Dec 5, 2009 by John
	Why is he behaving so well??! (Preview) Ok, I'm confused. Since we have gone to mediation twice, and since having "a talk", my X is behaving very strangely, as in, he's actually behaving "nicely". I really don't know what to make of it. We had 1 visit with him last week-end that went well. My stepson wasn't there (I have...	Nodaybut2day	4	990	Dec 5, 2009 by glad
	Power and control (Preview) I seem to be on a new level of grief about the ex A and my relationship with him. The more I look at it the more I see all his crises, health problems ( of course his trumped mine no matter what), work problems, car issues, family issues were power and control mechanisms. There is no question he always had t...	maresie	4	845	Dec 5, 2009 by nmike
	Dashboard evoked a temporary meltdown (Preview) I started 2 post over the past week. I got a lot of support, understanding, and hopefully, it helped some. Considering my situation (divorce is pending) I feel as though that I'm doing okay. That is, my foundation is pretty solid, even though my life situation is pretty bleak at the moment. But I sti...	GailMichelle	5	1239	Dec 4, 2009 by GailMichelle
	I wonder why? (Preview) ok I know my focus should be elsewhere, but I have just been reading past posts and notice how many a's hook up with another woman/man right after separating from the somene they have been in a relationship with. How can they move on so quickly. Is it because they follow the path of least resistance? W...	fishinmama	6	859	Dec 4, 2009 by belle1
	Prayer Chain Request, Please - Power in Prayer (Preview) Hello all, I am asking my fellow Al-Anoners to please consider offering up some much needed prayers for another al-anoner, who is having quadruple bypass tomorrow afternoon. He and I have been conversing by way of Yahoo Messenger for the past 4 days. I am doing my best to keep him occupied as well as k...	lacewing	11	1141	Dec 4, 2009 by belle1
	Hangin' in there! (Preview) I am trying very hard to hang in there! It has been a rough road but I am still here. I have struggled with my sanity for almost 24 years & that happens to be how long since I went to my first meeting--one month to go. For all of you who haven't been with us long: there is hope! If I can make it this long &...	Hoot Nanny	2	885	Dec 4, 2009 by Jerry F
	A different approach? (Preview) Hi! I have a question...although I realize it may be different from person to person I can't help wondering: what has worked best for most people with A spouses, is it better to be supportive and kind toward them, or is it better to "detach" yourself and express the pain and anger we feel? I'm...	Misshopeful	2	638	Dec 4, 2009 by canadianguy
	Thanks for the help!!!! (Preview) (((((((((((My Dear Friends)), Thank you for all the wonderful responses to my post....it helped me so very much.....I found the strength to pick myself up and get those decorations up....and It made me feel much better.......and my g=daughter can look out the window and see Santa now..lol.... For...	Andrea12	3	509	Dec 4, 2009 by blender_girl
	How do I find an affordable rehab? UPDATE (Preview) As some of you here and others have reminded me "Why are you taking on this search and not him". I knew full well I needed to keep backing off and let him be responsible for what comes next. You know when that mom thing kicks in your heart takes over your brain. LOL So I backed off and lo and beh...	Mobirdie	3	731	Dec 4, 2009 by maresie
	When do you stop loving them (Preview) It is my esh that we don't. What I have felt and see on our mip board is, we come to a place where we are comfortable with having love for that sick person and knowing it is the disease we hate and blame all the hurt on. This does not mean we will keep that "in love" type feeling. For me it was I was han...	Debilyn	6	984	Dec 4, 2009 by maresie
	Why do so many spouses stay with their alcoholics? (Preview) Hi there everyone. I am new to this outlet - have participated in Alanon in the past but stopped going when I thought my hubby stopped drinking "too much" - isn't that a hoot? I have been wondering why in the world I would want to stay with my husband. I am going to seek spiritual direction fr...	Leelee	6	3517	Dec 4, 2009 by glad
	I'm back (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm back after being off of the board for about a year. I guess things calmed down w/ my AH but recently my life has been pure CHAOS ! Today I'm taking my 13 yr old daughter to see a psychologist b/c she is so stressed due to his increased drinking and the family dynamics. I feel sick that I hav...	angel66	4	856	Dec 4, 2009 by Debilyn
	My 1st Year .... (Preview) Hey All... As most of you know, the month of Nov is a tough one for me, My AFather died that month, has a birthday that month, and pasted on Thanksgiving..So Yeah.. Rough Month, and THIS Year was the first whole year since he pasted...1st birthday in Heaven... However... i think Oct. was harder, only be...	Jozie	2	806	Dec 3, 2009 by hotrod
	Update from Yesterday (Preview) AFiance called me while I was at work and he was walking 2.5 mi to the emergency room to check himself into the psych ward. We talked when he got there just to check in. I called the hospital last night to make sure he was there and was safe. I'm just full of sadness. I love him so much and I just keep hoping t...	Ragdolls	4	924	Dec 3, 2009 by maresie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.