Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am trying very hard to hang in there! It has been a rough road but I am still here. I have struggled with my sanity for almost 24 years & that happens to be how long since I went to my first meeting--one month to go. For all of you who haven't been with us long: there is hope! If I can make it this long &...

Misshopeful · Misshopeful

Hi! I have a question...although I realize it may be different from person to person I can't help wondering: what has worked best for most people with A spouses, is it better to be supportive and kind toward them, or is it better to "detach" yourself and express the pain and anger we feel? I'm...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((((((My Dear Friends)), Thank you for all the wonderful responses to my post....it helped me so very much.....I found the strength to pick myself up and get those decorations up....and It made me feel much better.......and my g=daughter can look out the window and see Santa now..lol.... For...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

As some of you here and others have reminded me "Why are you taking on this search and not him". I knew full well I needed to keep backing off and let him be responsible for what comes next. You know when that mom thing kicks in your heart takes over your brain. LOL So I backed off and lo and beh...

Debilyn · Debilyn

It is my esh that we don't. What I have felt and see on our mip board is, we come to a place where we are comfortable with having love for that sick person and knowing it is the disease we hate and blame all the hurt on. This does not mean we will keep that "in love" type feeling. For me it was I was han...

Leelee · Leelee

Hi there everyone. I am new to this outlet - have participated in Alanon in the past but stopped going when I thought my hubby stopped drinking "too much" - isn't that a hoot? I have been wondering why in the world I would want to stay with my husband. I am going to seek spiritual direction fr...

angel66 · angel66

Hi Everyone, I'm back after being off of the board for about a year. I guess things calmed down w/ my AH but recently my life has been pure CHAOS ! Today I'm taking my 13 yr old daughter to see a psychologist b/c she is so stressed due to his increased drinking and the family dynamics. I feel sick that I hav...

Jozie · Jozie

Hey All... As most of you know, the month of Nov is a tough one for me, My AFather died that month, has a birthday that month, and pasted on Thanksgiving..So Yeah.. Rough Month, and THIS Year was the first whole year since he pasted...1st birthday in Heaven... However... i think Oct. was harder, only be...

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

AFiance called me while I was at work and he was walking 2.5 mi to the emergency room to check himself into the psych ward. We talked when he got there just to check in. I called the hospital last night to make sure he was there and was safe. I'm just full of sadness. I love him so much and I just keep hoping t...

Dale · Dale

Hey all, kim is out of surgery, I haven't spoken to her yet but she is doing ok, more to follow Dale

Ragdolls · Ragdolls

AFiance had court today and didn't want me to go with him because he was ashamed. Last night was terrible! He was panicking and rambling and seemed like he was still drunk from the day before. Who knows? I woke up at 3 AM and he wasn't in bed. I called him (lazy me) and he was sleeping on the couch. I get...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

((((((((hello friends)))))))), I don't know when it gets easier, the holidays are an espically hard time for me...I haven't decorated the outside of my home since husband died....yesterday i decided it was time to move forward.....i do have a 17 month old g-daughter and I Know she would enjoy the de...

fishinmama · fishinmama

As I mentioned before, I was an alanon member in the past. I guess I thought I was cured and walked away from alanon and hooked up with a man who is an alcoholic. I am attracted to them like a magnet. Things had it's usual meltdown and now we are done. I hurt and know that alanon is there for the taking but I...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I find myself today in a place that I can not seem to get myself out of, and Im not sure why. I am schedule for surgery on December the 18th and it has me feeling completely off in every direction. Now I have had 3 prior surgeries on different things and have always made it out ok. Other than the last time, t...

Rora · Rora

I've been lurking a lot lately. Not posting much. I've felt I've needed to take a back seat and try to listen and learn. My life is changing. After 13 months of physical separation I've come to understand that my marriage to my ex-aH is over. There are many reasons why, that would be too lengthy and to...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

I'm going to be brief... Well I'm going to try.... :) Had another altercation with oldest daughter yesterday morning and police were called. I am going to work to get her into a group home or wilderness camp before it's too late (sorry Debilyn). I am at the end of the line with her and all the counseling...

cassidy2010 · cassidy2010

Well we made it through Thanksgiving without any problems.My A was really easy to get along with this year.I could almost faint. He still drinking but slowed down some and I noticed a change .I guess I'm always in fear of the calm before the storm.Kinda like ,okay this is going great but for how long ? I...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Did I miss an update or anything??? thank you. love,debilyn

edmond · edmond

http://reverbnation.com/tunepak/2042171

fishinmama · fishinmama

well I got to the box at the bottom of the closet only to find that they were not my alanon books but aa books of my sons. I decided to go ahead and read step one from the aa 12 X 12. Not much difference from alanon. Then I got out a piece of paper and wrote down the actions I had taken in the last few months to co...

Peace101 · Peace101

Hi Folks, I have been lurking on this website off and on for a couple of years and finally decided I better start posting! First, I would like to thank everyone both past and present who post and share and just have helped me relate to what I have been going thru. It was here that I learned how to detach fr...

Mobirdie · Mobirdie

Many of you know me by my story in the Forum. Well the son in program went back out and is now in Detox at the Veteran's Hospital. They recommended Celebrate Recovery for him but I contacted them and they want $40,000 for 90 days. Can someone tell me what drug addict or alcoholic has that kind of money? T...

John · John

Hello and Happy Holiday Season, Every December I ask everyone who is listed on the Miracles In Progress message boards to help me bring a awesomely memoriable Holiday to the many newcomers in the Miracles In Progress Recovery Houses by simply sending each house member a Holiday Card, and signing it w...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

We have these friends who are married, I'll call them J and K. My husband and J have known each other since they were kids. When J and K got married, K and I became instant friends. J and K live in another state and are coming to visit next weekend. There will be an art fetival in town while they're here an...

Sheila46 · Sheila46

I believe that I have destroyed my life as I know it. My boyfriend is a wonderful man. We have been living together for 2 years now. I know that I cannot control the alcoholic but still feel very responsible for the events of yesterday. I travel frequently for work so I he tends to drink when I am travel...

Nodaybut2day · Nodaybut2day

Hi all, This is my first post on this board, though I frequent the chat room often. I've come to ask for your advice about my XH who happens to be a very clever, verbally/emotionally abusive, chronic liar, excon, highly functioning alcoholic. He has changed his life around since I met him (he was drinki...

Melissa21 · Melissa21

Okay so things have been going good for the most part. Im doing GREAT in school, work is going good, bills are getting paid on time..im having money leftover to shop for ME!! I got sick and tired of the lies, manipulation, blaming me, him playing the victim. It seems only to get worse. I set a schedule for h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am making progress in my getting to stop hoarding & getting more organized! I spent a lot of my weekend going through & sorting stuff. I still haven't really gotten rid of anything except I threw away some things. I have so many things that are fairly new--like clothes for instance that I am...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

I was absolutely dreading the Thanksgiving holiday for fear of spending it with the Dysfunctional's. I prayed for days before for strength, talked to my sponsor, spoke to several people in my f2f and prayed some more. I was determined that for my mother's sake, I would not participate in anything b...

Tracy · Tracy

I decided that I need to stop contact with my ABF. It hurts to much when we chat and I am left feeling variuos emotions, hurt, pain , frusration. I sent him a txt saying I carnt do this anymore. He had put his dole money into one of my bank accounts told him my bro would drop it off. He has rang about 5 times t...

maresie · maresie

The good news is that I have found another counselor to help me through the holidays. I had to be very assertive to make that transition but I am looking forward to the chance to work on some of my "holiday issues". One of my aims this year is just to have a calm, uneventful, peaceful event. I...

jewelsmama · jewelsmama

Hello, I am new to this board and just have a quesiton to ask. My husband is a recovering A and active drug addict. He switched from alcohol about 5 years ago to prescrition pain killers. I have been told my his current therapist that I need to find some Al-anon meetings. However, is this something I c...

kerry5 · kerry5

There are quite a few guests who have been idle for over an hour. Can an op enter the room please. There is a meeting now. Thank you Kerry

jitsuka · jitsuka

http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42727&p=3&topicID=30711757

Diva · Diva

As Thanksgiving approaches, my thankfulness is renewed, and I review the long list of reasons why I give thanks. At the top of that list are: My daughter who is beautiful in every sense of the word.My son-in-law who loves her unconditionally.My two sons who are loving, respectful, successful, and b...

Galactica · Galactica

Hello Everyone. This is my first post here. I found this board while looking around the net for Al Anon meetings in my area. I figured this would be a good place to start before I start going. I warn you...this is a very long post and I am sorry. I'm 24 years old, and my Father has been an A for as long as I can r...

blender_girl · blender_girl

It's been a while since my last post - yikes a month already! - but I have been reading and responding as I can every day. This is going to be a long one - so be forewarned! It's been a month filled with grief. Thank goodness for this program. I don't believe I would have been able to cope nearly as well as I h...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish my Alanon family, a VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I am so grateful for all you have done for me. The strength you have given me in my darkest hours, the laughter, the gift of your wisdom is priceless. I can't imagine my life without you and this program. I...

Dale · Dale

Hello all..... Just a quick note to let all my friends know my a is impersonating me in the room, so I registered my nick.....Hope she didn't cause any problems. I dont get it, why she cant let go, but she is still up to no good

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

My husband has been court-ordered to not drink and has to go in for random monitoring. Of course it's not all that random. He has to call in the morning and if his assigned color is called, he goes in for testing, if not, he's clear for the day. Usually on his way home from testing, he will pick up some bee...

Tracy · Tracy

Focusing on myself, relying on myself is something I have always found hard. I am a very relaible person and believe that I have made good choices in most areas of my life except relationships. I have learnt on my journey with Al non that I choose people who need me I like to feel needed then I try and hel...

maresie · maresie

Last thanksgiving I spent weeks preparing to cook a meal for people who could have cared less. Of course they expected it since I have always worn my heart on my sleeve. None of them thanked me, praised any specific part of the meal or even took into account what effort it was. This year I have been freed...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Just feeling wretched. I have had a long, stressful day at work. I have been in a meeting with managers who need to save money and "lose" some staff (I am a Workplace Trade Union Rep which means I do a full time job as well as all the Union work) The meeting was all doom and gloom - no money - need to s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am finding that more & more I have symptoms of hoarding! I think I mentioned this before a while back. I was going through my disorganized back room this morning looking for my address book & finally found it. But..in the meantime I made matters a lot worse by going through almost everythi...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I'm so tired of being sad, I try with all my might to let go and let God...but it's soooo hard. I've been with my AH for 20 years!!! and I can't just let it go...I just can't. I want to stop focusing on him and move forward, but its so hard for me..... He left me during a drinking binge in August and moved in wit...

Jerry F · Jerry F

LOL...of course once I started practicing the principles of the program the number of affairs I was envolved in dropped to zero. I kept the one I started with HP and the one I started with myself. So what the heck has Mr. Crazy been up to for a week or so? I really missed you brothers and sisters!!!! ...

shellyj123 · shellyj123

Was looking at a Christmas catalogue today and saw that quote "Lead me, Guide me, Walk beside me" It really stuck with me throughout the day. I realized after the AlAnon convention that my life and my recovery was not what I had thought it was. I had thought that my "qualifer" for...

maresie · maresie

I do indeed have serious issues with the holidays in general. I had a counselor for a while this year who was pushing my boundaries. Out of the blue she said she was leaving to go to a new assignment just before the holidays. My best laid plans being scattered. I really tried to get another one to get me...

essgee1952 · essgee1952

Hello, all, I'm new here but not new to Al Anon. Have read lots of your posts, and my story is just like everyone else's in so many ways. 17 years married to AH, second marriage for me, third for him. He has two adult children, I have none. We're older -- in our early 60's now, and I am financially depende...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I really need to try to detach from my 'estranged' AH....I have to for my sanity and to give myself 100% to my kids. I'm tired of every inch of my mind being consumed with the AH. I need my power back, but I don't know how to get it back. I know people who have been divorced from a relationship for years, and...

sdisnie · sdisnie

Today I dont feel like I'm going to make it through the holidays..... Last night I started to get really depressed, thinking about how I never would have thought last Thanksgiving/Christmas that this year my AH would be living with another woman and her kids..... Today the kids have all the Christmas...

xeno59 · xeno59

Thanks to all who responded and/or prayed for my son in my previous post !!!! I took one suggestion and contacted the Salvation Army Rehab Program. Gave them a quick history of my son's addiction and legal troubles. And they are willing to consider him for treatment. Got the application this week and s...

smokey28 · smokey28

Hi everyone, I knew to this board and the program. I am hoping someone can give me some guidance. My brother has been struggling with addiction for about 3 yrs now. Last year after losing his job and being in deeply in debt he agreed to go into rehab again (2nd time that my parents paid for). He went to a grea...

LearningTheRopes · LearningTheRopes

Hello and thanks for reading my post. By way of introduction, I wanted to say that my situation is probably not unique, but isn't that common. My loved one is someone who is an odd mix of family, friend and lover. We met three years ago and became friends while I had a romantic partner. We became involved r...

Tracy · Tracy

I sent my ABF a text today saying ring me, I wanted the money he said he would drop off and never. Turned his phone off this weekend again we all know what this means. Yesterday I felt better thought I carnt change him, he is ill, I dont want this in my life. He rand me on my way home from work today I was not p...

luvinmom · luvinmom

My AS hit rock bottom this time last year (of course we thought he hit rock bottom many times before). Oct, Nov, Dec of 2008 horrible awful for son and our family. Ashamed that I was wishing that he would die just so his terribile pain would end. He did embrace recovery in Feb and has been working at earn...

Holly09 · Holly09

I posted here this weekend, my ABF's brother was diagnosed with lung cancer and things have been going down hill for my abf since. I just found a 24oz beer in a brown bag in his truck tool box, I was actually in there looking for a small screwdriver. This means he is not only drinking on the weekend but dri...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all... this is a posting from Toby Rice Drews (author of the Getting Them Sober books), reprinted with her permission, regarding the potential for sending the wrong messages when we say well meaning phrases like "stay strong", particularly with respect to the major "stay vs. l...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I had an almost stress-free thanksgiving yesterday! My mom was there: we all got along & the food was good--what more could I ask for? This year has been rough at times but I have so much to be grateful for! I know that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel when it gets really bad. I know that the ba...

LearningTheRopes · LearningTheRopes

My fully story is on another post, but I wanted to seek targeted assistance with this question: What to do after confronting someone incorrectly? I've been reading and starting to understand that I should not try to change my a-ex but rather set clear boundaries for myself. However, a few days ago, I b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Hangin' in there! (Preview) I am trying very hard to hang in there! It has been a rough road but I am still here. I have struggled with my sanity for almost 24 years & that happens to be how long since I went to my first meeting--one month to go. For all of you who haven't been with us long: there is hope! If I can make it this long &...	Hoot Nanny	2	792	Dec 4, 2009 by Jerry F
	A different approach? (Preview) Hi! I have a question...although I realize it may be different from person to person I can't help wondering: what has worked best for most people with A spouses, is it better to be supportive and kind toward them, or is it better to "detach" yourself and express the pain and anger we feel? I'm...	Misshopeful	2	552	Dec 4, 2009 by canadianguy
	Thanks for the help!!!! (Preview) (((((((((((My Dear Friends)), Thank you for all the wonderful responses to my post....it helped me so very much.....I found the strength to pick myself up and get those decorations up....and It made me feel much better.......and my g=daughter can look out the window and see Santa now..lol.... For...	Andrea12	3	413	Dec 4, 2009 by blender_girl
	How do I find an affordable rehab? UPDATE (Preview) As some of you here and others have reminded me "Why are you taking on this search and not him". I knew full well I needed to keep backing off and let him be responsible for what comes next. You know when that mom thing kicks in your heart takes over your brain. LOL So I backed off and lo and beh...	Mobirdie	3	621	Dec 4, 2009 by maresie
	When do you stop loving them (Preview) It is my esh that we don't. What I have felt and see on our mip board is, we come to a place where we are comfortable with having love for that sick person and knowing it is the disease we hate and blame all the hurt on. This does not mean we will keep that "in love" type feeling. For me it was I was han...	Debilyn	6	880	Dec 4, 2009 by maresie
	Why do so many spouses stay with their alcoholics? (Preview) Hi there everyone. I am new to this outlet - have participated in Alanon in the past but stopped going when I thought my hubby stopped drinking "too much" - isn't that a hoot? I have been wondering why in the world I would want to stay with my husband. I am going to seek spiritual direction fr...	Leelee	6	2902	Dec 4, 2009 by glad
	I'm back (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm back after being off of the board for about a year. I guess things calmed down w/ my AH but recently my life has been pure CHAOS ! Today I'm taking my 13 yr old daughter to see a psychologist b/c she is so stressed due to his increased drinking and the family dynamics. I feel sick that I hav...	angel66	4	744	Dec 4, 2009 by Debilyn
	My 1st Year .... (Preview) Hey All... As most of you know, the month of Nov is a tough one for me, My AFather died that month, has a birthday that month, and pasted on Thanksgiving..So Yeah.. Rough Month, and THIS Year was the first whole year since he pasted...1st birthday in Heaven... However... i think Oct. was harder, only be...	Jozie	2	713	Dec 3, 2009 by hotrod
	Update from Yesterday (Preview) AFiance called me while I was at work and he was walking 2.5 mi to the emergency room to check himself into the psych ward. We talked when he got there just to check in. I called the hospital last night to make sure he was there and was safe. I'm just full of sadness. I love him so much and I just keep hoping t...	Ragdolls	4	828	Dec 3, 2009 by maresie
	Shadow is out of surgery (Preview) Hey all, kim is out of surgery, I haven't spoken to her yet but she is doing ok, more to follow Dale	Dale	8	928	Dec 3, 2009 by Dale
	I feel like I need to do something but don't know (Preview) AFiance had court today and didn't want me to go with him because he was ashamed. Last night was terrible! He was panicking and rambling and seemed like he was still drunk from the day before. Who knows? I woke up at 3 AM and he wasn't in bed. I called him (lazy me) and he was sleeping on the couch. I get...	Ragdolls	12	1086	Dec 3, 2009 by maresie
	When does it get easier?????? (Preview) ((((((((hello friends)))))))), I don't know when it gets easier, the holidays are an espically hard time for me...I haven't decorated the outside of my home since husband died....yesterday i decided it was time to move forward.....i do have a 17 month old g-daughter and I Know she would enjoy the de...	Andrea12	10	1064	Dec 3, 2009 by maresie
	have you experienced? (Preview) As I mentioned before, I was an alanon member in the past. I guess I thought I was cured and walked away from alanon and hooked up with a man who is an alcoholic. I am attracted to them like a magnet. Things had it's usual meltdown and now we are done. I hurt and know that alanon is there for the taking but I...	fishinmama	5	922	Dec 3, 2009 by diamond
	Intuition, instinct, or just anxiety? In desperate need of some ESH... (Preview) I find myself today in a place that I can not seem to get myself out of, and Im not sure why. I am schedule for surgery on December the 18th and it has me feeling completely off in every direction. Now I have had 3 prior surgeries on different things and have always made it out ok. Other than the last time, t...	shellyj123	5	1379	Dec 3, 2009 by Tenderheartsks
	It's a family DIS-EASE (Preview) I've been lurking a lot lately. Not posting much. I've felt I've needed to take a back seat and try to listen and learn. My life is changing. After 13 months of physical separation I've come to understand that my marriage to my ex-aH is over. There are many reasons why, that would be too lengthy and to...	Rora	7	908	Dec 2, 2009 by Debilyn
	Update on me (Preview) I'm going to be brief... Well I'm going to try.... :) Had another altercation with oldest daughter yesterday morning and police were called. I am going to work to get her into a group home or wilderness camp before it's too late (sorry Debilyn). I am at the end of the line with her and all the counseling...	carolinagirl	4	728	Dec 2, 2009 by maresie
	Calm before the storm ??? (Preview) Well we made it through Thanksgiving without any problems.My A was really easy to get along with this year.I could almost faint. He still drinking but slowed down some and I noticed a change .I guess I'm always in fear of the calm before the storm.Kinda like ,okay this is going great but for how long ? I...	cassidy2010	4	807	Dec 2, 2009 by cassidy2010
	Our Shadow? (Preview) Did I miss an update or anything??? thank you. love,debilyn	Debilyn	5	806	Dec 2, 2009 by Dale
	"One day at a Time" A gift of inspiration and hope to all in recovery (Preview) http://reverbnation.com/tunepak/2042171	edmond	1	483	Dec 1, 2009 by Christy
	a new look at powerlessness (Preview) well I got to the box at the bottom of the closet only to find that they were not my alanon books but aa books of my sons. I decided to go ahead and read step one from the aa 12 X 12. Not much difference from alanon. Then I got out a piece of paper and wrote down the actions I had taken in the last few months to co...	fishinmama	1	732	Dec 1, 2009 by Jerry F
	Child of an Alcoholic (Preview) Hi Folks, I have been lurking on this website off and on for a couple of years and finally decided I better start posting! First, I would like to thank everyone both past and present who post and share and just have helped me relate to what I have been going thru. It was here that I learned how to detach fr...	Peace101	3	872	Dec 1, 2009 by glad
	How do I find an affordable rehab? (Preview) Many of you know me by my story in the Forum. Well the son in program went back out and is now in Detox at the Veteran's Hospital. They recommended Celebrate Recovery for him but I contacted them and they want $40,000 for 90 days. Can someone tell me what drug addict or alcoholic has that kind of money? T...	Mobirdie	6	1388	Dec 1, 2009 by John
	Holiday Card Request (Preview) Hello and Happy Holiday Season, Every December I ask everyone who is listed on the Miracles In Progress message boards to help me bring a awesomely memoriable Holiday to the many newcomers in the Miracles In Progress Recovery Houses by simply sending each house member a Holiday Card, and signing it w...	John	4	763	Dec 1, 2009 by hotrod
	What would you do? (Preview) We have these friends who are married, I'll call them J and K. My husband and J have known each other since they were kids. When J and K got married, K and I became instant friends. J and K live in another state and are coming to visit next weekend. There will be an art fetival in town while they're here an...	N8SMOM	11	618	Dec 1, 2009 by carolinagirl
	Insanity (Preview) I believe that I have destroyed my life as I know it. My boyfriend is a wonderful man. We have been living together for 2 years now. I know that I cannot control the alcoholic but still feel very responsible for the events of yesterday. I travel frequently for work so I he tends to drink when I am travel...	Sheila46	6	1043	Dec 1, 2009 by Diva
	Custody battle with a very smart highly functioning A (Preview) Hi all, This is my first post on this board, though I frequent the chat room often. I've come to ask for your advice about my XH who happens to be a very clever, verbally/emotionally abusive, chronic liar, excon, highly functioning alcoholic. He has changed his life around since I met him (he was drinki...	Nodaybut2day	12	1501	Dec 1, 2009 by Nodaybut2day
	I need some esh!! (Preview) Okay so things have been going good for the most part. Im doing GREAT in school, work is going good, bills are getting paid on time..im having money leftover to shop for ME!! I got sick and tired of the lies, manipulation, blaming me, him playing the victim. It seems only to get worse. I set a schedule for h...	Melissa21	5	840	Dec 1, 2009 by serendipity
	progress not perfection (Preview) I am making progress in my getting to stop hoarding & getting more organized! I spent a lot of my weekend going through & sorting stuff. I still haven't really gotten rid of anything except I threw away some things. I have so many things that are fairly new--like clothes for instance that I am...	Hoot Nanny	2	782	Nov 30, 2009 by Christy
	A Blessing Filled Weekend, full of love, letting go and blessings from HP:) (Preview) I was absolutely dreading the Thanksgiving holiday for fear of spending it with the Dysfunctional's. I prayed for days before for strength, talked to my sponsor, spoke to several people in my f2f and prayed some more. I was determined that for my mother's sake, I would not participate in anything b...	shellyj123	2	916	Nov 30, 2009 by Jen
	Trying (Preview) I decided that I need to stop contact with my ABF. It hurts to much when we chat and I am left feeling variuos emotions, hurt, pain , frusration. I sent him a txt saying I carnt do this anymore. He had put his dole money into one of my bank accounts told him my bro would drop it off. He has rang about 5 times t...	Tracy	2	613	Nov 30, 2009 by Jen
	Christmas (Preview) The good news is that I have found another counselor to help me through the holidays. I had to be very assertive to make that transition but I am looking forward to the chance to work on some of my "holiday issues". One of my aims this year is just to have a calm, uneventful, peaceful event. I...	maresie	3	1428	Nov 30, 2009 by Overcome
	New here and have a question (Preview) Hello, I am new to this board and just have a quesiton to ask. My husband is a recovering A and active drug addict. He switched from alcohol about 5 years ago to prescrition pain killers. I have been told my his current therapist that I need to find some Al-anon meetings. However, is this something I c...	jewelsmama	6	1297	Nov 29, 2009 by Jen
	Need an op in chat please (Preview) There are quite a few guests who have been idle for over an hour. Can an op enter the room please. There is a meeting now. Thank you Kerry	kerry5	0	491	Nov 29, 2009 by kerry5
	Hi there. Newbie, but an update. Had massive fallout last night (Preview) http://www.activeboard.com/forum.spark?aBID=42727&p=3&topicID=30711757	jitsuka	25	1295	Nov 29, 2009 by jitsuka
	What are we thankful for? (Preview) As Thanksgiving approaches, my thankfulness is renewed, and I review the long list of reasons why I give thanks. At the top of that list are: My daughter who is beautiful in every sense of the word.My son-in-law who loves her unconditionally.My two sons who are loving, respectful, successful, and b...	Diva	9	993	Nov 29, 2009 by maresie
	In Need of Strength (Preview) Hello Everyone. This is my first post here. I found this board while looking around the net for Al Anon meetings in my area. I figured this would be a good place to start before I start going. I warn you...this is a very long post and I am sorry. I'm 24 years old, and my Father has been an A for as long as I can r...	Galactica	3	682	Nov 29, 2009 by maresie
	Feeling a little foolish and crazy (Preview) It's been a while since my last post - yikes a month already! - but I have been reading and responding as I can every day. This is going to be a long one - so be forewarned! It's been a month filled with grief. Thank goodness for this program. I don't believe I would have been able to cope nearly as well as I h...	blender_girl	6	844	Nov 29, 2009 by Rocky38
	Happy Thanksgiving! (Preview) ((((Family)))), Just wanted to take a moment to wish my Alanon family, a VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING. I am so grateful for all you have done for me. The strength you have given me in my darkest hours, the laughter, the gift of your wisdom is priceless. I can't imagine my life without you and this program. I...	Karilynn	3	581	Nov 29, 2009 by maresie
	My a is up to no good (Preview) Hello all..... Just a quick note to let all my friends know my a is impersonating me in the room, so I registered my nick.....Hope she didn't cause any problems. I dont get it, why she cant let go, but she is still up to no good	Dale	1	507	Nov 29, 2009 by shadow1
	Is it Our Responsibility? (Preview) My husband has been court-ordered to not drink and has to go in for random monitoring. Of course it's not all that random. He has to call in the morning and if his assigned color is called, he goes in for testing, if not, he's clear for the day. Usually on his way home from testing, he will pick up some bee...	N8SMOM	10	902	Nov 29, 2009 by Diva
	Focus on myself (Preview) Focusing on myself, relying on myself is something I have always found hard. I am a very relaible person and believe that I have made good choices in most areas of my life except relationships. I have learnt on my journey with Al non that I choose people who need me I like to feel needed then I try and hel...	Tracy	2	897	Nov 29, 2009 by Jerry F
	Freedom (Preview) Last thanksgiving I spent weeks preparing to cook a meal for people who could have cared less. Of course they expected it since I have always worn my heart on my sleeve. None of them thanked me, praised any specific part of the meal or even took into account what effort it was. This year I have been freed...	maresie	3	616	Nov 28, 2009 by Loupiness
	Just need to vent (Preview) Just feeling wretched. I have had a long, stressful day at work. I have been in a meeting with managers who need to save money and "lose" some staff (I am a Workplace Trade Union Rep which means I do a full time job as well as all the Union work) The meeting was all doom and gloom - no money - need to s...	Tattyhead	5	1003	Nov 28, 2009 by Tattyhead
	HOARDING! (Preview) I am finding that more & more I have symptoms of hoarding! I think I mentioned this before a while back. I was going through my disorganized back room this morning looking for my address book & finally found it. But..in the meantime I made matters a lot worse by going through almost everythi...	Hoot Nanny	2	1731	Nov 28, 2009 by Mattie
	Tired of the rollercoaster of emotions (Preview) I'm so tired of being sad, I try with all my might to let go and let God...but it's soooo hard. I've been with my AH for 20 years!!! and I can't just let it go...I just can't. I want to stop focusing on him and move forward, but its so hard for me..... He left me during a drinking binge in August and moved in wit...	sdisnie	7	959	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	Practice these principles in all my affairs... (Preview) LOL...of course once I started practicing the principles of the program the number of affairs I was envolved in dropped to zero. I kept the one I started with HP and the one I started with myself. So what the heck has Mr. Crazy been up to for a week or so? I really missed you brothers and sisters!!!! ...	Jerry F	11	986	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	Lead me, Guide me, Walk beside me..............My story........ (Preview) Was looking at a Christmas catalogue today and saw that quote "Lead me, Guide me, Walk beside me" It really stuck with me throughout the day. I realized after the AlAnon convention that my life and my recovery was not what I had thought it was. I had thought that my "qualifer" for...	shellyj123	5	1434	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	Holiday issues (Preview) I do indeed have serious issues with the holidays in general. I had a counselor for a while this year who was pushing my boundaries. Out of the blue she said she was leaving to go to a new assignment just before the holidays. My best laid plans being scattered. I really tried to get another one to get me...	maresie	5	775	Nov 28, 2009 by blender_girl
	Help in Choosing a Counselor (Preview) Hello, all, I'm new here but not new to Al Anon. Have read lots of your posts, and my story is just like everyone else's in so many ways. 17 years married to AH, second marriage for me, third for him. He has two adult children, I have none. We're older -- in our early 60's now, and I am financially depende...	essgee1952	10	1046	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	Need to detach (Preview) I really need to try to detach from my 'estranged' AH....I have to for my sanity and to give myself 100% to my kids. I'm tired of every inch of my mind being consumed with the AH. I need my power back, but I don't know how to get it back. I know people who have been divorced from a relationship for years, and...	sdisnie	5	1283	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	Bad thoughts.... (Preview) Today I dont feel like I'm going to make it through the holidays..... Last night I started to get really depressed, thinking about how I never would have thought last Thanksgiving/Christmas that this year my AH would be living with another woman and her kids..... Today the kids have all the Christmas...	sdisnie	12	1307	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	Thanks for your prayers and suggestions Keep praying please (Preview) Thanks to all who responded and/or prayed for my son in my previous post !!!! I took one suggestion and contacted the Salvation Army Rehab Program. Gave them a quick history of my son's addiction and legal troubles. And they are willing to consider him for treatment. Got the application this week and s...	xeno59	10	806	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	guidance (Preview) Hi everyone, I knew to this board and the program. I am hoping someone can give me some guidance. My brother has been struggling with addiction for about 3 yrs now. Last year after losing his job and being in deeply in debt he agreed to go into rehab again (2nd time that my parents paid for). He went to a grea...	smokey28	4	736	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	By way of introduction... (Preview) Hello and thanks for reading my post. By way of introduction, I wanted to say that my situation is probably not unique, but isn't that common. My loved one is someone who is an odd mix of family, friend and lover. We met three years ago and became friends while I had a romantic partner. We became involved r...	LearningTheRopes	12	976	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	scared (Preview) I sent my ABF a text today saying ring me, I wanted the money he said he would drop off and never. Turned his phone off this weekend again we all know what this means. Yesterday I felt better thought I carnt change him, he is ill, I dont want this in my life. He rand me on my way home from work today I was not p...	Tracy	2	777	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	1 Year Anniversary Good & Bad feelings (Preview) My AS hit rock bottom this time last year (of course we thought he hit rock bottom many times before). Oct, Nov, Dec of 2008 horrible awful for son and our family. Ashamed that I was wishing that he would die just so his terribile pain would end. He did embrace recovery in Feb and has been working at earn...	luvinmom	3	835	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	Progression (Preview) I posted here this weekend, my ABF's brother was diagnosed with lung cancer and things have been going down hill for my abf since. I just found a 24oz beer in a brown bag in his truck tool box, I was actually in there looking for a small screwdriver. This means he is not only drinking on the weekend but dri...	Holly09	4	779	Nov 28, 2009 by maresie
	Leave vs. Stay, Strong vs Weak, etc. (Preview) Hi all... this is a posting from Toby Rice Drews (author of the Getting Them Sober books), reprinted with her permission, regarding the potential for sending the wrong messages when we say well meaning phrases like "stay strong", particularly with respect to the major "stay vs. l...	canadianguy	8	1118	Nov 28, 2009 by ThisIsBlythe
	AN ALMOST STRESS-FREE THANKSGIVING! (Preview) I had an almost stress-free thanksgiving yesterday! My mom was there: we all got along & the food was good--what more could I ask for? This year has been rough at times but I have so much to be grateful for! I know that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel when it gets really bad. I know that the ba...	Hoot Nanny	1	490	Nov 28, 2009 by Christy
	What to do now? (Preview) My fully story is on another post, but I wanted to seek targeted assistance with this question: What to do after confronting someone incorrectly? I've been reading and starting to understand that I should not try to change my a-ex but rather set clear boundaries for myself. However, a few days ago, I b...	LearningTheRopes	9	891	Nov 27, 2009 by abbyal
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.