"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"

fishinmama · Veteran Member

have you experienced?

canadianguy · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh yeah, rings a very familiar bell, lol....

Like many others, I have tried, several times, to announce myself "cured", and stop my involvement with my recovery program.... Then "life happens", and I am reminded of the old adage "wherever I go, there I am", and I realize, yet again, that our recovery is a process, and not likely ever going to be one where we "graduate".

For me - I was able to overcome the emotional hurdle by looking at my recovery in the way that it is truly a lifestyle choice, and one that had positive results for me, almost without fail.... As I look back at the most recent ten years of my adult life, it is definitely evident that I was/am happier when Al-Anon is part of my life, as opposed to when I have shunned it....

I have tried life without recovery, and it can get me down quite easily.... I have tried life with recovery, and it just seems to flow and work out all the better.....

Take care, and good luck with that closet!
Tom

Christy · ~*Service Worker*~

I agree Tom. Alanon gives us a code to live by, so to speak. We aren't left flailing like a sheet in the wind. We have a program that guides us to a more peaceful lifestyle.

As far as not wanting to look at the books?? Maybe it's because you have to work at this and look at ourselves and it's not easy sometimes.

Christy

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Me too!! Apathy is my last line of defense and also a part of my oppositional
defiant enabling self. I'm waiting those last few days, hours, minutes or
seconds for the alcoholic to come thru the door again with her knees on the
floor and her head bowed reciting the Lords Prayers with my name substituting
for any word that refers to God.   I understand but I won't do...I am also tired
from being beat up by the disease and another attempt to conquer it. "What's
the use" is a very handy slogan to repeat to myself so that I can stay in my
pity place and give myself more excuses to remain in the familiar status quo
and not get better or postively better.    For me it comes with the sound of
sucking mud and I cannot or willnot raise my voice to call out "HELP!!" even
while others are standing so close to me telling me "It looks like you're stuck
in Sucking Mud!!". I feel silly listening to them tell me what I already know and
even sillier responding, "You're right...can you help pull me out?"

For me the change started when I got the courage to say, out loud, to a stranger
in a strange place (Al-Anon Program) "Can you please help me?"   Al-Anoners
never say no until they learn how and when and why. Helping is what got us here
and helping ourselves is what gets us better beyond our wildest dreams.

I've experienced that.

(((((hugs))))) smile

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

I am one of those who takes AlAnon when she "needs" it and discards it when her strength returns. THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING!!! But the truth cannot be denied. The people here know me well enough to realize how I use the program.

"I have the strength to get through this alone," turns into, "Please help me again. I don't know where else to turn."

My heart knows that the only way for any of us to effect real and lasting serenity is to stick with it for the rest of our lives. That applies to us all, doesn't it? Recovery of the loved one of an addict is not accomplished in a way that can be called a "cure".

Best wishes,

Diva

diamond · Veteran Member

Thanks for this post. I needed the reminder! I keep thinking I'm "cured", or "strong enough". But there's nothing like the comfort of practicing recovery on a daily basis. I've lost that - and am longing for it again...

I must have been meant to log on today. :)

Diamond

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"