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Big let down!
(Preview)
So in hindsight i see that in moving the family back to our hometown has helped relieve some stress in that I have extended family support and friends to go to with my 4 year old son if dry AH pulls something. On the other hand I just realized that part of my depression stems from the fact that i expected my &q...
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Ash
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4
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1038
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i love him so much...it's so difficult...even though he is in recovery
(Preview)
hi... my A is my husband.. it has been very a rough ride..even thoug it has been only 3 and a half years since we have been married.. i knew him for 3 years before that but only saw his addiction on my weddign night for the first time.. he has been in recovery and slipped many a times... this time it has been abo...
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this too shall pass
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12
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919
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need advice on dealing with 'him in recovery'
(Preview)
hi, some of you may ahve read my earliers post.. i can't say enough how glad i am to have found you guys... i needed som wdvice.. my A in in recovery... he attends meetings and is away from usage.. someoen helped me understand it is difficult for him too.. he has been behaving very different and detached th...
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this too shall pass
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9
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828
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I Need A Solomon.....
(Preview)
Our family has lived with over ten years dealing with my AS now 30 years old, you all are familiar with what is involved with this, DUI's, lost jobs, trying to keep a roof over his head so that he won't be on the streets, thinking that he would come to his senses at some point. Well, about 5 weeks ago a crisi...
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DreamsOver
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7
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913
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Please, anyone... I need wisdom on a marijuana using daughter, aged 15.
(Preview)
She lied again and came home late. I am responsible for her as she is underage. Please. I know marijuana is not addictive, but it is a major time-waster and a social drug. It will only attract other pot-smokers to her. What do I do? How will I cope with the future? She always attracts the most troubled...
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punkydoodah
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14
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1089
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Dating
(Preview)
Hey everybody, I need some advice. Hopefully I'll get some advice in an al-anon meeting I'm going to later today. So here's the deal. I'm dating this guy. He's currently in a halfway/recovery house in Wilmington NC (about 3.5hrs from me). Today is our one month anniversary, I guess you could call it th...
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fenderfem09
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7
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638
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Laughter can sometimes be the best medicine!
(Preview)
I was reading today's Courage to Change and it really hit home for me today. I too have discovered my sense of humor again... It truly has been wonderful. It feels great to bring forth a hoot of laughter from my lips. It has also been a great reminder to myself to not take myself or my life so seriously....
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Sweet Stanley
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5
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910
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Thanks To All My Solomn's Out There.....
(Preview)
God bless each of you for the response. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Remember us in your prayers.
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DreamsOver
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1
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716
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Feeling it and lacking patience
(Preview)
I have been trying really hard to work on me and my recovery. I have a sponsor, been going to F2F and chat meetings and coming here. I am still working on step one with my sponsor for about 5 months now. However, my head keeps telling me to get out of this marriage. Logic is saying walk away, you deserve bette...
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Goodtillitsbad
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5
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1094
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Meeting Leaders, we would like you to please make newbies feel more welcome! We lost a member.
(Preview)
I referred a friend of mine to the online meeting tonight and she reported to me an unsettling experience. We don't expect royalty or being treated like queens and I realize you are human. But, please, please, please, try to be a little more welcoming, warm, and friendly, when greeting 'guests"...
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Carol_Lynn
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2
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633
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New here...the lies, how do you handle it...?
(Preview)
I know I need to get to an Al Anon meeting (I have never been). But with two children, full time school and part time work it seems to hit a back burner... Anways...the biggest issue I have trying to deal with my husband's alcoholism is the lies. He is on and off again with drinking and is trying his best. ...
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kat42
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9
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1193
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He's getting a full time job!
(Preview)
My exah/bf is getting a full time back breaking job. A job finally. Maybe now he will send me child support. Problem is, he won't shut up about money! I hate talking about money. Talking about money does not solve my money issues. It just brings me down. I realize if have more going out than coming in...
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QOD
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9
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826
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Detachment / Bulemia? support
(Preview)
I know the focus needs to be on me, but as much as I've tried, I'm blowin up! I have a 19 year old neice who is always in a not-so-pleasant mood. She's a late bloomer (never went to prom, never has had a boyfriend, hasn't learned to drive). She's beautiful as far as "Hollywood" standards go.......
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RoseODAT
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5
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747
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Angry with wife....trying to let it go....
(Preview)
Suffice it to say my wife is a dry drunk as well as an ACA. She exhibits all the behaviors of an alcoholic. Today, due to my work schedule, I couldn't take my daughter to a show she wanted to see badly. I asked my wife who I knew was free this evening and received an "I dont' know"....I asked, wh...
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mjhyankees
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5
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897
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When will I feel better???
(Preview)
Former Alanon and ACA participant....50 years old, miserable marriage and feeling the most unhappy I've ever felt in my life. Divorce is NOT an option at the moment, may be in a few years (I'll explain some other time). My problem is I've lost my happiness and my hope. (I do like what I read from someb...
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mjhyankees
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12
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906
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I finally found the courage to attend a meeting in my own country
(Preview)
Hi all I have been in Al-Anon for about three months. When I started I was in England as a student. I went home to Norway almost three weeks ago and was very nervous about going to a Norwegian meeting. The only meeting I knew of in my area was a meeting especially for adult children of alcoholics. I didnt go...
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Cosmos
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3
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822
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Chatroom
(Preview)
Can anyone get into the acoa and alanon chatrooms? I am not able to get in wondering if anyone else was able to get in. thanks
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LarryWhiteford
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2
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608
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Forcing things that don't work
(Preview)
My AH and I had a very good talk last night about patience (one of my favorite topics - NOT) and forcing things to work that don't. I know that I definitely want what I want when I want it. Period. And there have been so many times that when I didn't get what I wanted when I wanted it, I figured out a way to man...
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White Rabbit
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6
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1154
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Reality Check....
(Preview)
I'm hurt and its my own fault. No I didn't do a quicky abandon my spouse and capture another alcoholic for a quick attempt at altering but maybe what I did was...is just as crazy. Any of you out there go to those punch, kick, dance and jump around high energy exercise classes? Okay now you know why I'm h...
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Jerry F
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14
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1447
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accepting
(Preview)
Taking to AD last evening she sounded soo down.Talking so about her situation.Wanted so much to fly up there wrap her in a nice soft baby blanket and bring her home and tuck her in. Always rescued her cant do it anymore.This time it is up to her.She said the last time she was thinking her and ex would get bac...
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mackey dee
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3
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761
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I expected a miracle!
(Preview)
As usual when I came here a few weeks ago I was looking for a magic fix for my A adult son. So far when I post on the board your so disappointethat I don't go to no f2f meetings. I appreciated all the responses on the board. Im reading the brochures, sayings and all. when I go to the online meetings, I don't fe...
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okwitt
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12
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1085
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How to work the 12 steps
(Preview)
Hi all, I'm working the steps - without a sponsor. I do plan to finish my work on steps 4, 5, 6 with a sponsor though. Anyway, I've been kind of skipping around. For instance, I've been making direct amends, but, haven't completed previous steps. Is this detrimental? Thanks!
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stopandchat
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7
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2757
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Books for Teenage Children of Alcoholics?
(Preview)
I did a google search and saw some out there, but none that seemed suitable for my daughter. She tried Ala-Teen and didn't like it. She didn't even think I was an alcoholic, so she initially resisted all of this and I think right now she still doesn't really know what to think. I really just want to try a...
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FlyingSquirrel
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4
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1105
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New Member Question
(Preview)
Hello. I'm looking for some help and advice. My wife is an alcoholic and I knew nothing of this disease growing up. No one in my family suffered from it. So as I've been with her, I've come to learn all about the lying, the suspicion, the pain, the embaressment, etc. I didn't know what to do except try to be a...
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mrphunny
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15
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987
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4 months no contact
(Preview)
So I haven't posted in awhile - but I still read as much as I can and am going to f2f meetings when I am in town. I asked my exAB for one month of no contact after dating for over a year - off and on. He is a binger and can go for long periods of time without any alcohol/drugs but when he starts he goes for awhile. I...
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speck31
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8
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1518
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Flapping in the wind
(Preview)
This morning when I woke up and looked out the window I saw my neighbor had a tarp that had been covering a leaking skylight flapping inthe wind hanging down the side of her house. I watched it flap for awhile thinking of how it reminded me of the pictures of Christo's artistic events like draping fabric...
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Jennifer
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5
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856
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If it keeps gettin' better...
(Preview)
IF IT KEEPS GETTIN' BETTER, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO! I AM GETTING BACK ON TRACK & SLEEPING PRETTY WELL! FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO DON'T KNOW ME, I AM AN INSOMNIAC & HAVE TROUBLE SLEEPING. BUT TODAY I AM DOING GREAT! IT IS NICE TO SIT AT THE COMPUTER & HAVE SOMETHING POSITIVE TO SAY. MY RELA...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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670
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loving someone sometimes means letting go, but this really hurts
(Preview)
My boyfriend came back from treatment in April of this year. After his return he was sober (and still is), but things between us changed as well. for the last three months he never gave me the feeling I was genuinely loved, he doesn't return my calls, there is no quality time and he just sits in the house fe...
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Nicki
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9
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1596
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Missing the board
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I have not posted in a couple of months my computer is down. I am doing this in work do not worry it is the end of my day. I miss posting so much and I know my recovery is not what is was, I will have to make it a priority to get my computer fixed. Hope to be back soon please keep me in your prayer as I wi...
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Tracy
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4
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659
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Need advice
(Preview)
For those who don't know me. I am the one who broke up with my AH fiancée a month ago. After so many calls from him since the break up, he finally stop calling me. It has been more than a week now, no contacts at all. I should feel relieved, right? No, actually, I feel I become weaker and weaker, I start missing...
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Adabnu
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4
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630
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Bring it out to the light of the Serenity Prayer...
(Preview)
Aloha MIP family...I'm following up on the suggestion of a former Al-Anon sponsor who in response to my comisserating about a problem in my life offered the title. This post is also an update on an earlier post about "Wanting my brother (in recovery) back". My Sponsor's suggestion was...
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Jerry F
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10
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1008
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New Here
(Preview)
I am the mother of an addict. I am also fairly new to al-anon, so I hope you will be patient with me as I learn. The chaos of this disease is overwhelming at times. But we are working on taking care of ourselves now. For so long we let his addiction dictate our feelings and household. If he was doing well,...
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Dash
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8
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933
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Read a great quote today......
(Preview)
Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending - Carl Bard This is what I'm looking forward to with my ABF who is 95 days sober! Just thought I would share!
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Ri
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4
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647
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ready to give up....so angry!!!
(Preview)
Dont know what to do or how to handle this ...Married a man who was an alcoholic and started drinking again. He says he loves me with all his heart and I try to believe that but in MY heart I know he loves the bottle more than me! I feel like I am fighting a ghost that I cant hit......He told me he knows he has a p...
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sduff
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6
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1003
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And I have neglect those that helped
(Preview)
I read a recent post from someone new to here and it struck me to reply. I could see myself in the original poster and I felt the need to offer some support. Then it struck me that I have neglected to thank those who were a lifeline in what has to be described as the worse time in my life. And there was one thing I...
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Acatnip
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6
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771
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Dealing with A-brothers and A father,
(Preview)
Hi All, One of my A-brothers has turned up well and is working, so good news, there had been no word off him for a good few months so I am glad his HP is looking out for him. Today I handed it over. My father is pissed at me because I will not ring him. I have had to detach from this situation for a number of reasons...
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maire rua
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3
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642
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Alcoholic husband moved out while I was at work
(Preview)
Hi, I am a member of Al-Anon, however, new to this board. My husband is the alcoholic who brought me to the program. He was pretty much on a 2 year bender, and has been sober for almost 8 months now. We've only been married for a little over a year, and got married in the midst of active alcoholism I know - mist...
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stopandchat
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11
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2610
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Just came home from 6 wk program....
(Preview)
My husband just came home from rehab, he has been sober 44 days. Today I suspected him of drinking or lyeing. Pretty sure he was doing one or the other or both. I tried to talk to him and assure him that I just wanted the truth and no matter what we would get through it together but that didnt seem to get me any...
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kablisnow
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7
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987
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death
(Preview)
One of my closest friends mom died today. She overdosed on pills. Very sad day. Please say some prayers for my friend and her family. thx buick
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buick23
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15
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825
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Learning how "to be"...
(Preview)
I have really been struggling with my relationship with my 17 yr old son lately. He is not an A, just a teenager, but shares so many characteristics of my exAh, that it is difficult at times to separate myself. So, is an A like a teen or a teen like an A? Hard to know, all I know is that I am easily triggered a...
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Loupiness
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5
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733
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And how was your day!!!!
(Preview)
Hi all, in case no one has asked you today, I will, So how was your day My husband who is in essential services came in today and told me how many lives he saved and how many fights he stopped, having a real hard and stressful day. When he had vented he looked at me and said, I should go for a ride just to vent...
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petpal
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9
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883
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cant get in to chat boards.....
(Preview)
Does anyone know why I cant get in All it says is java chat denied.... thanks for all info petpal xxx
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petpal
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3
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477
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Its Been Awhile...
(Preview)
Well I haven`t been here in a number of months. This had been my only source of support since I had no way of getting to outside meetings w/ health issues and babysitting much too much. My health has since improved and I`am now trying to get to meetings and take better care of myself. I say I want to detatch f...
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Samsgram
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4
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1005
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My step-children's mom going to rehab for 30 days...help!
(Preview)
Hi, I'm new to this site and new to the condition of alcoholism. I have three step-children ages 19, 17 and 11. Their mother will be going in for residential treatment in a week for 30 days. During that time they will be living with me and their father full time. (We normally have them every other week...
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stepmom
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4
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6791
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Sick Feeling
(Preview)
I have that old sick feeling that I fight so hard to not have. Alcoholic son is suppose to work today but has been on a three day drunk during his time off. I have not talked to him but normally I give him a ride to and from work if his brother is not available. I have texted him and asked if he needed a ride and...
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Greenvalleygal
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19
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952
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feeling terrible
(Preview)
I went to deliver basics my adult A Son needed from grocery store. Drove up- he came out ranting and raving demanding his truck keys(truck and insurance in my husbands name) Called him he said give him his keys. I did. He cursed and called me everything bad. I know on this probation, he is most likely goin...
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okwitt
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6
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925
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Scary "blackout" ranting
(Preview)
Hi Guys, My alcoholic son lives with us in a basement bedroom and the last couple of nights I heard voices. coming from down there at 3:30 in the morning. He was moving around down there, swearing, and ranting, sounding very angry. It was scary, he is usually quite mild mannered and sweet even when dru...
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MotherTeresa
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3
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1012
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He has rotten luck
(Preview)
My exah/bf has the worst luck. When it rains, it pours with him. He was making his 1st pizza delivery last night and got a flat tire. He put on the spare and that went flat too! I picked him up & brought him back to my house so his mom could pick him up from there and he could take his tire to a friend's ho...
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QOD
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8
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649
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National Ice Cream Day
(Preview)
((((Family)))), On this day President Ronald Reagan declared it NATIONAL ICE CREAM DAY! Now I would have thought he would have found some way to declare it National Jelly Bean Day, as we all know about his love of jelly beans. Now I think we should honor this man, plus help out all the dairy farmers b...
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Karilynn
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8
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706
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This morning I have awakened, "mad at the world."
(Preview)
I could use a vacation. It is too hot here to get outside to play, and I am feeling a bit resentful and angry on top of that. One of these days I will get myself together, but it won't be this morning. Loving one minute and hating the next is not good for one's mind or heart. Thanks for listening. Perhaps I'...
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Diva
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7
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597
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MyProgress Milestone
(Preview)
As a child, I would be anxious until my alcoholic dad was safely home. (Even then, who knew what would happen when he got home? ) I would look throughout the big house as a little kid, ending at the garage. If his car were not in the garage, I knew he wasn't in. Then I figured out to go first to the garage....
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Jill
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2
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828
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boundaries?
(Preview)
After more than a year from hell my Ah finally quit drinking. For awhile. He went over three months sober but this past week I've noticed he's been drinking a couple of times. Not drunk, just silly like he gets after a couple of drinks. He says he can have a drink or two now and then and he's fine with that....
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pineapple
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5
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729
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Who are you coming as today? KKKKKKKKKaty,
(Preview)
Well I am going to be nice and smiley, and going to be the opposite of what I always blamed my hubby, for turning me into, with a wrong word, a wrong look, body language, there are just tooooooo many people in this relationship, and I am half of them, so just for today I am going to be just ONE SMILEY FACED PER...
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Katy
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9
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715
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tea or beer
(Preview)
So he says if there is no tea i might have to drink a beer. I would have freaked out about that years ago and now I can just think to myself, if u wanna beer have a beer. whatever. I see the blaming me here again. if you don't make tea, I blame you for drinking a beer. Really I can laugh about it and I'm not falling f...
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buick23
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6
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864
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So furious - need a rant!
(Preview)
Hi. Haven't been in for a while. Have been very stressed both at work and home. AH has been very ill - finally got him into hospital where they de-toxed him got him eating again, did numerous tests which all pointed to his symptoms being the result of his alcool intake (at least 1/2 bottle brandy a day). It...
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Tattyhead
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8
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1085
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Says he's going back to program
(Preview)
AH is coming off of a pretty bad binge...I think b/c there is no more alcohol in the house...I've asked him to go back to program a lot of these last 6 -12 months. (He binges a few days- gets sick- gets sober for a while then binges again). Tonight he came into the room and said he was sorry ( as he was detoxin...
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brb446
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6
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729
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But fo rthe Grace of my HIgher Power
(Preview)
Was in the supermarket today. It is always a scene, as the one near us is also right in the middle of some heavy drinking bars. There's also a heavy bunch of heroin and methadone use in my area. The scene: I hear a young girl 12 or 13, screaming her head off in the most angry, hateful way to her Mom across the en...
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alanonicScotland
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2
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1210
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Patience With Sober Family Members
(Preview)
I've probably posted about patience before - or my lack of it. :) I've noticed in my recovery that I am able to be much more patient with the alcoholics in my life. I'm able, at least for today, to understand that they are spiritually sick and when they do things that hurt themselves, they hurt themsel...
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White Rabbit
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1
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553
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Finally breathing easier ( at least for today)
(Preview)
I have currently made a decision to stay right where I am at. I am using some of my tools I have learned from alanon and other literature I have read. I still have to continue dealing with that anger that comes out when I start thinking he is just using/drinking to get me. It has nothing to do with me. Althoug...
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miss_carol
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2
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673
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we could all use some humor
(Preview)
background- my husband was forced to rehab by his boss. drinking was so bad he was passing out at work and drinking in the car.of course he lied about all of this. when i asked him before he went to rehab I got these answers: How much were you drinking in the car? answer was 12 ounces. who answers like that...
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oscarmom
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4
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1116
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