The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi there, I am Maize. I am 35 and new to all of this. I have spent a year and a half in intense therapy, with 5 days in the hospital for feeling suicidal. I was trapped in an awful and abusive marriage. I felt alone and didn't want to go on.
On to bigger and brighter things, and I am divorced and free now! I found Alanon because a friend of mine is an alcoholic. I have to say I absolutely love it! I am reading Courage to Change, going to face to face meetings when I can (at least once a week) and doing my best to concentrate on me. The friend that is an alcoholic is actually in a recovery program right now and he is doing well there. My father drank when I was a litttle girl, I have tons of other alcolics in my family and tons of Alanon disease people too :)
I am breaking the chain though. I am free from my awful marriage, my two boys (13 and 7) are doing well and I am looking for a child therapist for them to see. I am almost overwhelmed with all of the wonderful-ness that is Alanon. I am trying to keep it simple and not go over board with it. I love that I can think of life differently now and apply this new way of living to me.
I am not saying it is easy. And I am taking things minute by minute at times. But I can say that in the last 3 weeks of learning Alanon recovery I have had an easier time of things and have felt so much more free.... I hope to be able to respond to some other posts and begin my healing... Thanks for reading! Maize
I loved reading posts like yours. I hope it will be an inspiration to others who come to MIP living in the disease and like me 4 years ago not knowing which way to turn. Aren't we both proud we turned to Al-Anon. The program works if you work it....and you are proof.
What a lovely encouraging and delightful post, jam packed full of courage self awareness, and optimism, it gave me goose bumps reading it, so glad you came here.
Welcome and glad that you found us!! It sounds like you have already started your new adventure of life. It can be an awesome journey!! Alanon can absolutely change your life, I am living proof...
Hello and welcome , a little advice Go Overboard there is never enough positive in our lives go to as many meetings as u can ,the more u go the faster your life will begin to unfold , have u considered taking your children to Alateen , often there is an Alateen meeting at the same time as Al-Anon something u can do together..counceling is great but kids like us need peers who understand how they feel, Alateen is sponsored by Al-Anon members so it is a safe place for teens to share thier fears , their hopes and dreams it is a very positive program thier literature is awsome wrttten by teens for teens. congrats on getting your family out of a dangerous situation your very brave
Well the reason my kids are not going to alateen is because they have not been exposed to alcholism. My ex-husband was not an alcoholic, he was abusive to me emotionally, mentally, and physically (at times). I was in denial over it, I was playing the victim role. I took him back many many times after much apologizing. My kids were exposed to the aruging and the abuse. But they do not have any contact with anyone who drinks, so that is why they do not go to Alateen. :) My friend who is an alcoholic has not been introduced yet :)
Aloha Maize...Welcome home. This family will support you on a long journey. I'm glad you found the front door because you have mention stuff that was very close to my own pre-Al-Anon journey regarding the emotional trauma and "permanent solutions to temporary problems" (suicide as a solution). I was sharing with a member this evening who is a therapist that in Al-Anon I learned what a successful suicide was and had completed it myself. I use to talk on this with others and it caused raised eyebrows because I was still standing and talking to them while they thought I should be horizontal, in a box and in the ground. What I lectured on was that killing myself would have be a failed suicide because it would have been a permanent solution to a temporary problem and that most successful was not ending my life but ending how I lived it by changing how I lived it. Ahas!! all the way around. I learned it in Al-Anon and didn't have to go thru lockdowns, drugs, shots, shock or those multi-belt jackets. I was a candidate for jails but got to the program first.
The next face to face meeting your get to focus on those words at the end of the meeting that promise, "If you keep and open mind you will find help. You will come to understand...." This program will not only give you your life back but it will give you a way of living it that you never thought possible. You will never want to surrender it to anyone or anything again for any price. I love alcoholics today and haven't tried to own one or keep one as a pet for a long time. I don't have any alcoholic projects in my life today except myself and there are none that I worship as god. The God of my understanding is... and I'm grateful and blessed for it.
Maize , your experience is so uplifting. There are just no words to describe the feeling of another human being breaking the shackles of pain and suffering.
Thank you so much for sharing. You have inspired me.
Thank you all so very much and yes I feel very welcomed indeed! The f2f groups I go to have also been quite wonderful, and though I see different levels of healing there, I know somehow, some way, that this program really works! I used to fight my depression and codependent ways so hard. Now, with alanon, I feel I don't have to "fight" anymore, but that I can open up to change and see there is another way to live :) Again, thank you all. I will keep coming!
there is never enough positive in our lives go to as many meetings as u can ,the more u go the faster your life will begin to unfold , have u considered taking your children to Alateen , often there is an Alateen meeting at the same time as Al-Anon something u can do together..counceling is great but kids like us need peers who understand how they feel, Alateen is sponsored by Al-Anon members so it is a safe place for teens to share thier fears , their hopes and dreams it is a very positive program thier literature is awsome wrttten by teens for teens. congrats on getting your family out of a dangerous situation your very brave
Glad to have you with us. We look forward to having you with us. Keep up the good work. 
Much love and blessings to you.