The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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Last night my AH came home drunk BUT with a cellphone I've been telling him I want. I took it, told him thanks and did not speak to him for the rest of the night cause I only had mean things to say to him. He of course was acting like an idiot and even had the nerve to tell me that I was ungrateful for not gushing over his amazing detail of surprising me with a new cellphone, and even gift wrapping it.
He always does that. Screws up and then comes home with a present. And I can't be bought! I've been calmly thinking about asking him to move out AGAIN. I just don't know. He's been staying with me after his house was robbed even though it wasn't in my plans to have him move in, and know I think it was a huge mistake and how it will hurt my daughter to see him move out AGAIN. I need to get my crap together already.
I kkep thinking and thinking it over, and that my problem I always let things go on for too long until they are way out of hand.
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Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.
My exha did that a lot, as well. It has been years and only recently have I given myself permission to enjoy the gifts. I was so stuck in my own head and confusion that I could not truly appreciate this was his only way of trying to communicate with me. Of course, I was looking for him to do other things that would make me happy...
My best advise is to enjoy what is, and, if that isn't possible, try to make a change where joy can exist. It is taking me a lot of trial and error!
(((Priscilla))) Yep, very familiar! I get LOTS of presents when my AH is sneaking around and drinking again, that's one of the (many) ways I always know he's back on the booze. I agree with Bud, I think it's the A's way of trying to communicate, maybe trying to apologize even. For a long time I, too, got angry every time he did this, but now I just take the gift, thank him, and go on with my life-and ENJOY my new present! The last relapse earned me a new iphone!!!
love from Denise
_____ "The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time"
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"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
