Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

gailsox · gailsox

Hi, I have been in Al-Anon for over a year and I just finished my 4th step in "Paths to Recovery". I will be starting in the "BluePrint for Progress" this week. What I need help on is seeing my Self-Pity... I did not think I had it, but I am finding I do. I can not see it clearly YET... I kn...

worriedbout · worriedbout

how will alon help me to help my alcohlic husband?

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, Everybody: I just joined this forum yesterday. I have been married to a guy for 22 years who just this summer realized he is an A. We have two great kids, 10 & 14. After a 5-week treatment program, he now attends AA and has been sober two months. I have been to about 5-6 Al Anon meetings and am read...

kath · kath

I am familiar with dealing with my ah when i am angry with him, when we are not speaking, and have come here to vent my frustrations. I have received some good suggestions on how to relate. I am now wondering how to relate to my ah when we are speaking and being kind to each other. I used to run to him ( we are se...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've complained enough about the wife and I guess I don't have to "make everyone understand"....so how about me? What are my flaws, issues and negative characteristics???? I have to be careful here because as my therapist points out, I'm really good at beating myself up...but I think I c...

PAH123 · PAH123

So far, I feel like all roads lead to "EXA" and I would love to hear some stories from those of you who remain married to an A and have made it work through recovery. If this is you, please let me know how you are able to work through the resentment that your spouses disease has now made you sick. ...

Karilynn · Karilynn

Rwandan Proverb: "If you are building a house and a nail breaks, do you stop building or change the nail?" When something happens that throws off our recovery do we give up? Do we stop and do nothing? Or do we change course? Do we try something new? When we find a meeting that we don't like...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

She's coming home from school (taking classes) and calls me. I'm cooking eggplant for dinner, my daughter requested it. My wife says "we had eggplant last week, I don't want it again (???)!" She then asks me to order out for her at applebees and she'll pick it up....so, I don't really car...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Random thoughts: I've never felt so alone and so sad as I feel at this time in my life. The dispare that surrounds the parents of addicts and alcololics invades every aspect of the persons life. I've come to realize my words have no affect on the child I once knew, as they no longer reside within the body of...

Jozie · Jozie

Ok, So I have been Praying on this, and I just can't step back far enough to really listen, and that is the "Just" of it really... Most know I have an entire family of "A's" and one is my older Sister, Now I love her, However... She isn't always easy to love... She is 4 years older then m...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I don't get it. I thought recovery was a good thing. But now somehow I'M the bad guy, I'm the one that brings chaos into his life and "he can't live like this in recovery" now, I know quite a few folks in a program, be it AA, NA, etc and one thing I've never heard any of them say is "this or...

Goodtillitsbad · Goodtillitsbad

Thank god (or my HP as they say) for this program. Everyday I need to use a tool from this program. I am hundreds of miles away from my AH right now for work. He has been out of the house (per my request cuz of his drinking) for 6 months now. I have been very good about not asking about his recovery/relapse/cur...

Lizz · Lizz

Has anybody heard of this? My exABF had a rash on his stomach that wouldnt go away..I think it may be Psuedo Cushing Disease which can be caused by alcoholism.

Rora · Rora

I've had some time to absorb the latest hurt of the exaH being that he decided he would no longer have anything to do with our son. On one hand this is painful and left me distraught for a period of time. Now, I wonder if it isn't for the better right now? Since this time I feel nothing but compassion and sor...

Bambina10 · Bambina10

I'm new to Al Anon. No experience with alcoholism before. My AH just graduated from a rehab program and goes to AA meetings. Married approx 6 months ago, he did a good job at hidding how serious the alcohol issue was.. Gradually it became very obvious, going as far as sleeping in his truck for 3 days i...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Someone suggested this to me...you know who you are!!!!! I gave it some thought and I'm sorry to say I can't come up with much. She's caused a lot of pain and suffering for me and my daughter due to not dealing with her issues....and she's not an alcoholic or even much of a drinker at all...rarely in fact....

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I still cant' believe in a higher power that magically makes things happen in my life...or allows bad things to happen to me or others.....I'm not sure he answers prayers because many of mine went unanswered and If he has a will and a plan...what's the point of praying for anthing????? What I can believ...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I know I`am suppose to mind my own business "but".. I`am very upset with my daughter`s behavior and how it may be affecting her 7 year old daughter. She is getting older now and people around her apartment complex are talking about her (my daughter) and they are also talking about her athe th...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

I've posted a couple of times before. ABF went to detox a few months ago. When he got back, he moved in with his friend. He didn't follow up with any outpatient treatment, AA meetings, nothing. So, of course, he went right back to drinking. I lived my life, had my sister and her friends come to visit. He was...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Picked up my AH from a 5 day detox yesterday (relapsed after 9 months sober), and he is now drunk as we speak having drank a fifth and a half of vodka since yesterday evening. I was just reading a thread about staying with an A - I have decided that I can no longer do that. I have already consulted an attorney a...

casa · casa

Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. August minutes were approved. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON shimo TUES OPEN WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN sUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON OPEN TUES casa WEDS kerisha THURS (Step/tradition) courage FRI OPEN SAT (Beg...

suzip · suzip

Got a call yesterday in the afternoon from a man telling me my daughter was in an accident and I needed to come right away. He said she was ok, cuts and bruises, just scared to death. Totally her fault, she's just 17 and driving for 7 months, and she is feeling horrible physically and emotionally. Thank G...

PAH123 · PAH123

As I mentioned in my original post, my husband travels frequently for work. When he is home, I don't worry as much about drinking as he is in meetings almost daily and doesn't, but when he is gone, I have found out by his own confession that he used that time to indulge himself in a few beverages. He says he...

looking_for_peace · looking_for_peace

-Spent ten years with my AH while he drank excessively and did pretty much nothing to contribute to the running of the household. He worked and brought home a paycheck, but did very little childcare, no housework, no handyman work, etc. I did it all (as well as bring in a paycheck). -Presently he is on si...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Once again thank you every one. It was suggested for me to post a gratitude list...I will do that in a moment. I also had 2 insights yesterday that I think are important and I want to share: 1) As I spent the day with my daughter, who is just a joy (9 years old) it occurred to me that I was feeling if not unhapp...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I went to another meeting last night.....it was...well...it didn't hurt...I realize that things don't get fixed in one meeting. And while I know we shouldn't compare, I certainly heard of far worse troubles than I have. Grudgingly I had to admit I had much to be grateful for. I realize the temptat...

pax · pax

I'm curious about your A's eating habits. It might help us to share, to realize that we are not alone in dealing with someone who will not sit down with the family to eat, or has other odd eating habits. I have found it helpful to use a crockpot so that a healthy meal is usually available.

Samsgram · Samsgram

I think my daughter is using again. I know I`am not suppose to let this interfer with my program but I`am allowing it. The problem is I`am having difficulty with the program itself. The basic core of the program is spiritual and I`am having a hard time with the HP part. Today is particulary hard for me. I w...

PAH123 · PAH123

Hello Everyone I am new here and could really use some help.I am the wife of an Alcoholic. We have been married for 23 years and I am only just now realizing how deep into this addiction thing I am. I have been lied to and made into a virtual servant to my addict for the last 23 years and I want things to chang...

Ella0417 · Ella0417

My best girfriend is an alcoholic. We went on a trip together and she had a drink at lunch and dinner saying she could handle one drink. I have taken her to rehab twice and the third time she went off the wagon and called me to take her in I was in an auto accident on the way over. I know the accident is not her...

maresie · maresie

I'm well aware over reaction really affected me in every area of my life. By doing a 4th step I can see that I was always in over reaction to the ex A. Even these days I can still be raging and raving about what he did rather than what I thought. The thought came before the deeds and the staying and the tant...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Hi Friends, Its been a while since I have posted. Work, kids, life have kept me from being as active on MIP as I'd like, but I always check in, knowing my recovery began here. This may be a bit rambled, for it is late, but I feel compelled to share some ESH, particularly for those who are new and wonder if the...

Maize · Maize

My abf is staying with me now, since his parents kicked him out. He knows if he slips here he will have no where to go. His mom has been to Alanon and the family program at the rehab in Florida where ABF was in July. She knows to not do what she is doing, but she is still doing it. They kicked him out, yet she k...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Thanks everyone for the thoughts, ideas, sharing and even the KITA's. I grew up in an alcoholic home and so the effects of Alcoholism (and other dysfuntion) is so deeply ingrained that I cant' think of a time when I wasn't affected. So the feelings of not being good enough, depression, comparing mysel...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Ok I've vented.....I think, at least for now I've released all the fear, disappointment, sadness and frustration that I can. There's only one thing left. That's to work the program as best I can. I don't feel much hope though. I KNOW I'll improve...after all "progress not perfection"...

Andrea12 · Andrea12

(((((((Friends)))))))))), Well nearly two weeks have passed since the disaster in my home. The rumors are horrid I can rise above it but my chilren are having some difficulties. Did I want this young man to overdose in my home? Did I want my 18 year old son to give CPR for 45 minutes to a friend he could n...

MariaShea · MariaShea

Are you a controller or a doormat? In dealing with my son's addiction, I find I am a both. I try and control him yet I am a doormat at times giving in to him. Before Al-Anon I had no awareness of either so I have learned some things there.

pocerutuf · pocerutuf

I have know my Wife for 10 years now. We just got married (finally) on September 1 2010, 10 years to the day that we met. There has been very good times and a lot of very bad times. Over the course of our relationship, we have broken up several times but always seem to come back to each other. I did however,...

maresie · maresie

I met a guy recently quite by chance who turned out to be a drug dealer. I chose quite clearly not to be involved with him but I do still talk to him, now its if I meet him by chance. Recently on a boiling hot day I was out doing errands, swamped with shopping bags, waterless and feeling absolutely exhausted...

kath · kath

My baby and I spent a couple of hours today at the park with my AH. I did not bring up any issues. We were having a nice time and then suddenly out of the blue he asks me if I still want to be married to him. Instead of screaming and yelling and crying at him I calmly told him that I would not continue to live with hi...

casa · casa

The Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. First Item: Meeting schedule and a lack of people chairing their assigned meetings was discussed. This topic had to be tabled to the next meeting due to lack of attendance. It was suggested that an email should be sent out to all ops that chair aski...

pax · pax

So, continuing on the topic of Ilovedog's thread - when you just get to the point when you deliberately do not snoop, how do you get over the anxiety of needing to know? I guess I'm asking for specific methods self-care, perhaps deliberate trains of thought, which may be used during the transition...

need lots of help · need lots of help

I can't take it anymore. I have given it my all and then some for YEARS! I can no longer live with an alcoholic. I will give him the papers on Monday. I signed a lease to an apt ready to move in labor day weekend. I am praying that he allows me to leave with the kids. Thankfully, he doesn't drink during th...

lyndebi · lyndebi

Been many weeks now. Debilyn has grown up in many ways. After kicking effexor, which I would avoid at all costs had I known how horrible it is to get of, I am back. I was too mellow, the effexor allowed me to suck up and swallow things I now do not. No more allowing anyone to take advantage of me, even when they...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I have noticed on these boards that a LOT of folks speak of the alcoholics in their lives as an ex. Does anyone stay in these relationships? Can it work out? I guess I'm scared that I'll end up divorced like many of the people here and that is not what I want. I love my dh, despite his major shortcomings....

Jozie · Jozie

This is one that I Truly have to Work on... I am the Person that when, you stub your toe, I am on my way to the nurse before you can reach in your purse and pull one out.. ... Just yesterday while in the bathroom mirror chatin with HP, I had mentioned Working on How "I" am when my husband Speaks... I...

FlyingSquirrel · FlyingSquirrel

(Ok, I'm being facetious) So, we've been separated 2 years. She was 7 months sober, then went back out a week ago. Threatened suicide and then spent the night at the guy's house she had cheated on me with, who she supposedly hadn't seen in 5 months. I didn't text or talk to her for a full week, (she tried...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi all, I posted a few days ago that my AH relapsed after 9 months of sobriety. I was determined to not get involved with his disasters. However, that didn't quite happen. I let him come back to live with me for a couple of days. He's currently on probation, and his probation officer suggested he go to this...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS has a court date next week and I have hope he will be ordered into rehab. maybe he will take this offer to work on his addiction. I have been in contact with the director of the rehab center and he is an ex-addict that understands all about this terrible affliction. I have been reading your post this...

Maize · Maize

I have just realized through a special reading in The Language of Letting go, that I have spent my life participating in harmful situations without even knowing I was being hurt or hurting. I had severe childhood trauma, I had a dad who was my step dad who adopted my brother and I who was an alcoholic,...

abbyal · abbyal

DONT QUIT When things go wrong as they sometimes will, when the road your trudging seems all uphill. When the funds run low , and the debts are high , And u want to smile , but u have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must but don"t you quit .Life is queer with its twists and turns ,...

Rora · Rora

I've heard some speak very eloquently about how it has taken them so long to dig out of their relationship with their A. I think I'm learning all about this and then some. I'm learning how very bad it had become and how very deep I am and how very long it will take me to dig out.... I've been separated from t...

snodebb · snodebb

What am I suppose to do the day after he was so drunk and I come home from work and he is sober. I'm thinking because he needed me to take him somewhere and he new I wouldn't if he had been drinking. Am I just suppose to act like it never happed? Do I bring it up? I won't be lovie dovie with him cause I don't feel...

MariaShea · MariaShea

My alcoholic father died when I was 15. My 37 year old son has been an alcoholic since he was 16. Now, he is homeless and jobless. Somebody save me from this pain. He is going to die too. I can feel it coming. When the pain gets so bad, can I become like a shooting star and just fizzle out? Then, no more pain......

this too shall pass · this too shall pass

I have been married 3years and 8 months. I knew him for 3 years before that... things were always bad... we fight all the time over the silliest of things.. in the past 6 months i have refused to give in to every little thing and it has gotten worse.. every time we fight he takes off and goes out to party with h...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Time is flying by so I will make this quick! I am sitting in a library in my hometown where I spend time on this computer! I only have 27 minutes so here goes! I am getting more grateful as I sit here! I have a load of friends & so much to thank them for! I guess I have been blessed beyond measure. This weeken...

pineapple · pineapple

My AH quit drinking 6 months ago and was doing pretty good. He had a couple of slips, one or two drinks a couple of times but was making real progress. But things have gone downhill fast the last few weeks. We are having problems with our partner who wants to sell the property which means we will have to find...

snodebb · snodebb

Well I knew it wouldnt last long. Drinking on Monday, Tuesday and super drunk tonight. Our daughter got on the bus tonight and he was on the bus and she had to sit by him and she knew right away he was drunk. They got off the bus and she stopped at a friends house and call to warn me. yep he is super drunk. He wa...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I'm not suicidal...not even that depressed but I'm flat lined.......other than my daughter I dont' feel that there is much to live for.....nothing seems to bring me that much happiness and nothing excites me...it's like I have this filter that no happiness gets in ....I'm no upset, nothing happene...

barisax · barisax

She's back. Or at least she was for a 4-day weekend. She's back to the "place" for two more weeks and then she's out for good (hopefully). It's a new experience seeing her without her wild mood swings. Her "up" state was magnetic as you might imagine. The normal pattern for ou...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Symptoms of Self Pity (Preview) Hi, I have been in Al-Anon for over a year and I just finished my 4th step in "Paths to Recovery". I will be starting in the "BluePrint for Progress" this week. What I need help on is seeing my Self-Pity... I did not think I had it, but I am finding I do. I can not see it clearly YET... I kn...	gailsox	4	5227	Sep 10, 2010 by maresie
	confused (Preview) how will alon help me to help my alcohlic husband?	worriedbout	4	727	Sep 10, 2010 by abbyal
	Baby steps away from insanity to recovery (Preview) Hi, Everybody: I just joined this forum yesterday. I have been married to a guy for 22 years who just this summer realized he is an A. We have two great kids, 10 & 14. After a 5-week treatment program, he now attends AA and has been sober two months. I have been to about 5-6 Al Anon meetings and am read...	Cloudsea	9	970	Sep 10, 2010 by Mattie
	suggestions? (Preview) I am familiar with dealing with my ah when i am angry with him, when we are not speaking, and have come here to vent my frustrations. I have received some good suggestions on how to relate. I am now wondering how to relate to my ah when we are speaking and being kind to each other. I used to run to him ( we are se...	kath	5	982	Sep 10, 2010 by kitty
	Working on me.... (Preview) I've complained enough about the wife and I guess I don't have to "make everyone understand"....so how about me? What are my flaws, issues and negative characteristics???? I have to be careful here because as my therapist points out, I'm really good at beating myself up...but I think I c...	mjhyankees	6	734	Sep 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Anyone who has stayed in a marriage with their A please post. (Preview) So far, I feel like all roads lead to "EXA" and I would love to hear some stories from those of you who remain married to an A and have made it work through recovery. If this is you, please let me know how you are able to work through the resentment that your spouses disease has now made you sick. ...	PAH123	27	1538	Sep 10, 2010 by weggie
	Choices (Preview) Rwandan Proverb: "If you are building a house and a nail breaks, do you stop building or change the nail?" When something happens that throws off our recovery do we give up? Do we stop and do nothing? Or do we change course? Do we try something new? When we find a meeting that we don't like...	Karilynn	7	758	Sep 10, 2010 by Christy
	Typical night with the wife.... (Preview) She's coming home from school (taking classes) and calls me. I'm cooking eggplant for dinner, my daughter requested it. My wife says "we had eggplant last week, I don't want it again (???)!" She then asks me to order out for her at applebees and she'll pick it up....so, I don't really car...	mjhyankees	18	800	Sep 9, 2010 by Christy
	The Parents that loved them (Preview) Random thoughts: I've never felt so alone and so sad as I feel at this time in my life. The dispare that surrounds the parents of addicts and alcololics invades every aspect of the persons life. I've come to realize my words have no affect on the child I once knew, as they no longer reside within the body of...	Peggy7	13	962	Sep 9, 2010 by Samsgram
	Augghhh ASister.... (Preview) Ok, So I have been Praying on this, and I just can't step back far enough to really listen, and that is the "Just" of it really... Most know I have an entire family of "A's" and one is my older Sister, Now I love her, However... She isn't always easy to love... She is 4 years older then m...	Jozie	1	630	Sep 9, 2010 by Jerry F
	He's in "recovery" and now I'M the chaotic one???? (Preview) I don't get it. I thought recovery was a good thing. But now somehow I'M the bad guy, I'm the one that brings chaos into his life and "he can't live like this in recovery" now, I know quite a few folks in a program, be it AA, NA, etc and one thing I've never heard any of them say is "this or...	lizzakiss	5	725	Sep 9, 2010 by Cloudsea
	It's Me (not my qualifier) :-P (Preview) Thank god (or my HP as they say) for this program. Everyday I need to use a tool from this program. I am hundreds of miles away from my AH right now for work. He has been out of the house (per my request cuz of his drinking) for 6 months now. I have been very good about not asking about his recovery/relapse/cur...	Goodtillitsbad	6	744	Sep 9, 2010 by xeno59
	Psuedo Cushing Disease (Preview) Has anybody heard of this? My exABF had a rash on his stomach that wouldnt go away..I think it may be Psuedo Cushing Disease which can be caused by alcoholism.	Lizz	3	512	Sep 9, 2010 by bud
	It's just the way it is (Preview) I've had some time to absorb the latest hurt of the exaH being that he decided he would no longer have anything to do with our son. On one hand this is painful and left me distraught for a period of time. Now, I wonder if it isn't for the better right now? Since this time I feel nothing but compassion and sor...	Rora	5	806	Sep 9, 2010 by Karilynn
	THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE SCARES ME.. (Preview) I'm new to Al Anon. No experience with alcoholism before. My AH just graduated from a rehab program and goes to AA meetings. Married approx 6 months ago, he did a good job at hidding how serious the alcohol issue was.. Gradually it became very obvious, going as far as sleeping in his truck for 3 days i...	Bambina10	12	778	Sep 9, 2010 by Christy
	gratitude list for wife?????!!!!?????? (Preview) Someone suggested this to me...you know who you are!!!!! I gave it some thought and I'm sorry to say I can't come up with much. She's caused a lot of pain and suffering for me and my daughter due to not dealing with her issues....and she's not an alcoholic or even much of a drinker at all...rarely in fact....	mjhyankees	12	1362	Sep 8, 2010 by Jerry F
	As I understand....... (Preview) I still cant' believe in a higher power that magically makes things happen in my life...or allows bad things to happen to me or others.....I'm not sure he answers prayers because many of mine went unanswered and If he has a will and a plan...what's the point of praying for anthing????? What I can believ...	mjhyankees	10	716	Sep 8, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Question (Preview) I know I`am suppose to mind my own business "but".. I`am very upset with my daughter`s behavior and how it may be affecting her 7 year old daughter. She is getting older now and people around her apartment complex are talking about her (my daughter) and they are also talking about her athe th...	Samsgram	8	1366	Sep 8, 2010 by maresie
	I, too, have had enough. (Preview) I've posted a couple of times before. ABF went to detox a few months ago. When he got back, he moved in with his friend. He didn't follow up with any outpatient treatment, AA meetings, nothing. So, of course, he went right back to drinking. I lived my life, had my sister and her friends come to visit. He was...	jettiesgirl	13	946	Sep 8, 2010 by rainbojo66
	I have had enough... (Preview) Picked up my AH from a 5 day detox yesterday (relapsed after 9 months sober), and he is now drunk as we speak having drank a fifth and a half of vodka since yesterday evening. I was just reading a thread about staying with an A - I have decided that I can no longer do that. I have already consulted an attorney a...	stopandchat	10	829	Sep 8, 2010 by stopandchat
	09.05.2010 MIP Chatroom Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. August minutes were approved. First item: Meeting schedule. AM MON shimo TUES OPEN WED Iona THURS OPEN FRI Blendergirl SAT OPEN sUN (Spiritual) OPEN PM MON OPEN TUES casa WEDS kerisha THURS (Step/tradition) courage FRI OPEN SAT (Beg...	casa	0	474	Sep 7, 2010 by casa
	parents worst nightmare :( (Preview) Got a call yesterday in the afternoon from a man telling me my daughter was in an accident and I needed to come right away. He said she was ok, cuts and bruises, just scared to death. Totally her fault, she's just 17 and driving for 7 months, and she is feeling horrible physically and emotionally. Thank G...	suzip	7	459	Sep 7, 2010 by suzip
	To call or not to call...that is my question. (Preview) As I mentioned in my original post, my husband travels frequently for work. When he is home, I don't worry as much about drinking as he is in meetings almost daily and doesn't, but when he is gone, I have found out by his own confession that he used that time to indulge himself in a few beverages. He says he...	PAH123	11	705	Sep 7, 2010 by PAH123
	Am I an idiot? (Preview) -Spent ten years with my AH while he drank excessively and did pretty much nothing to contribute to the running of the household. He worked and brought home a paycheck, but did very little childcare, no housework, no handyman work, etc. I did it all (as well as bring in a paycheck). -Presently he is on si...	looking_for_peace	7	1460	Sep 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	New insights and gratitude list..... (Preview) Once again thank you every one. It was suggested for me to post a gratitude list...I will do that in a moment. I also had 2 insights yesterday that I think are important and I want to share: 1) As I spent the day with my daughter, who is just a joy (9 years old) it occurred to me that I was feeling if not unhapp...	mjhyankees	7	865	Sep 7, 2010 by canadianguy
	I'm sorry but I'm confused..... (Preview) I went to another meeting last night.....it was...well...it didn't hurt...I realize that things don't get fixed in one meeting. And while I know we shouldn't compare, I certainly heard of far worse troubles than I have. Grudgingly I had to admit I had much to be grateful for. I realize the temptat...	mjhyankees	7	838	Sep 7, 2010 by Andrea12
	in the kitchen (Preview) I'm curious about your A's eating habits. It might help us to share, to realize that we are not alone in dealing with someone who will not sit down with the family to eat, or has other odd eating habits. I have found it helpful to use a crockpot so that a healthy meal is usually available.	pax	4	733	Sep 7, 2010 by White Rabbit
	I`am Having a Hard Time (Preview) I think my daughter is using again. I know I`am not suppose to let this interfer with my program but I`am allowing it. The problem is I`am having difficulty with the program itself. The basic core of the program is spiritual and I`am having a hard time with the HP part. Today is particulary hard for me. I w...	Samsgram	7	1236	Sep 6, 2010 by Samsgram
	What's the point? (Preview) Hello Everyone I am new here and could really use some help.I am the wife of an Alcoholic. We have been married for 23 years and I am only just now realizing how deep into this addiction thing I am. I have been lied to and made into a virtual servant to my addict for the last 23 years and I want things to chang...	PAH123	10	952	Sep 6, 2010 by Loupiness
	Someone please tell me how to handle this. (Preview) My best girfriend is an alcoholic. We went on a trip together and she had a drink at lunch and dinner saying she could handle one drink. I have taken her to rehab twice and the third time she went off the wagon and called me to take her in I was in an auto accident on the way over. I know the accident is not her...	Ella0417	3	906	Sep 6, 2010 by xeno59
	Over reaction (Preview) I'm well aware over reaction really affected me in every area of my life. By doing a 4th step I can see that I was always in over reaction to the ex A. Even these days I can still be raging and raving about what he did rather than what I thought. The thought came before the deeds and the staying and the tant...	maresie	3	1219	Sep 6, 2010 by mjhyankees
	Don't quit before the miracle... (Preview) Hi Friends, Its been a while since I have posted. Work, kids, life have kept me from being as active on MIP as I'd like, but I always check in, knowing my recovery began here. This may be a bit rambled, for it is late, but I feel compelled to share some ESH, particularly for those who are new and wonder if the...	Loupiness	8	1349	Sep 6, 2010 by artygirl
	His mom is driving us both nuts (Preview) My abf is staying with me now, since his parents kicked him out. He knows if he slips here he will have no where to go. His mom has been to Alanon and the family program at the rehab in Florida where ABF was in July. She knows to not do what she is doing, but she is still doing it. They kicked him out, yet she k...	Maize	6	472	Sep 6, 2010 by glad lee
	A survivor? That's all???? (Preview) Thanks everyone for the thoughts, ideas, sharing and even the KITA's. I grew up in an alcoholic home and so the effects of Alcoholism (and other dysfuntion) is so deeply ingrained that I cant' think of a time when I wasn't affected. So the feelings of not being good enough, depression, comparing mysel...	mjhyankees	21	953	Sep 6, 2010 by RLC
	Give me directions to the "Road to Recovery".... (Preview) Ok I've vented.....I think, at least for now I've released all the fear, disappointment, sadness and frustration that I can. There's only one thing left. That's to work the program as best I can. I don't feel much hope though. I KNOW I'll improve...after all "progress not perfection"...	mjhyankees	6	528	Sep 5, 2010 by glad lee
	Will Life Ever Be "Normal:" Again? (Preview) (((((((Friends)))))))))), Well nearly two weeks have passed since the disaster in my home. The rumors are horrid I can rise above it but my chilren are having some difficulties. Did I want this young man to overdose in my home? Did I want my 18 year old son to give CPR for 45 minutes to a friend he could n...	Andrea12	11	1033	Sep 5, 2010 by RLC
	Which One Are You? (Preview) Are you a controller or a doormat? In dealing with my son's addiction, I find I am a both. I try and control him yet I am a doormat at times giving in to him. Before Al-Anon I had no awareness of either so I have learned some things there.	MariaShea	8	571	Sep 5, 2010 by Jerry F
	When do I say I can't do this anymore? (Preview) I have know my Wife for 10 years now. We just got married (finally) on September 1 2010, 10 years to the day that we met. There has been very good times and a lot of very bad times. Over the course of our relationship, we have broken up several times but always seem to come back to each other. I did however,...	pocerutuf	10	1780	Sep 5, 2010 by pocerutuf
	Self care (Preview) I met a guy recently quite by chance who turned out to be a drug dealer. I chose quite clearly not to be involved with him but I do still talk to him, now its if I meet him by chance. Recently on a boiling hot day I was out doing errands, swamped with shopping bags, waterless and feeling absolutely exhausted...	maresie	7	900	Sep 5, 2010 by maresie
	Getting Stronger (Preview) My baby and I spent a couple of hours today at the park with my AH. I did not bring up any issues. We were having a nice time and then suddenly out of the blue he asks me if I still want to be married to him. Instead of screaming and yelling and crying at him I calmly told him that I would not continue to live with hi...	kath	3	684	Sep 5, 2010 by pineapple
	08.15.10 MIP Chatroom Group Business Meeting Minutes (Preview) The Chair opened the meeting with the Serenity Prayer. First Item: Meeting schedule and a lack of people chairing their assigned meetings was discussed. This topic had to be tabled to the next meeting due to lack of attendance. It was suggested that an email should be sent out to all ops that chair aski...	casa	4	351	Sep 5, 2010 by lyndebi
	Ending the snooping (Preview) So, continuing on the topic of Ilovedog's thread - when you just get to the point when you deliberately do not snoop, how do you get over the anxiety of needing to know? I guess I'm asking for specific methods self-care, perhaps deliberate trains of thought, which may be used during the transition...	pax	15	945	Sep 4, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
	I filed for a divorce today! (Preview) I can't take it anymore. I have given it my all and then some for YEARS! I can no longer live with an alcoholic. I will give him the papers on Monday. I signed a lease to an apt ready to move in labor day weekend. I am praying that he allows me to leave with the kids. Thankfully, he doesn't drink during th...	need lots of help	12	921	Sep 4, 2010 by wifeofalcoholic
	The healthy person comes out of the armor (Preview) Been many weeks now. Debilyn has grown up in many ways. After kicking effexor, which I would avoid at all costs had I known how horrible it is to get of, I am back. I was too mellow, the effexor allowed me to suck up and swallow things I now do not. No more allowing anyone to take advantage of me, even when they...	lyndebi	7	761	Sep 4, 2010 by maresie
	How many stay? (Preview) I have noticed on these boards that a LOT of folks speak of the alcoholics in their lives as an ex. Does anyone stay in these relationships? Can it work out? I guess I'm scared that I'll end up divorced like many of the people here and that is not what I want. I love my dh, despite his major shortcomings....	ilovedogs	15	1270	Sep 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	INTIMACY... Wake up .... (Preview) This is one that I Truly have to Work on... I am the Person that when, you stub your toe, I am on my way to the nurse before you can reach in your purse and pull one out.. ... Just yesterday while in the bathroom mirror chatin with HP, I had mentioned Working on How "I" am when my husband Speaks... I...	Jozie	6	801	Sep 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	My wife is not an alcoholic after all, never was. What a relief! (Preview) (Ok, I'm being facetious) So, we've been separated 2 years. She was 7 months sober, then went back out a week ago. Threatened suicide and then spent the night at the guy's house she had cheated on me with, who she supposedly hadn't seen in 5 months. I didn't text or talk to her for a full week, (she tried...	FlyingSquirrel	13	1091	Sep 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	Just left AH at a 5-day detox facility (Preview) Hi all, I posted a few days ago that my AH relapsed after 9 months of sobriety. I was determined to not get involved with his disasters. However, that didn't quite happen. I let him come back to live with me for a couple of days. He's currently on probation, and his probation officer suggested he go to this...	stopandchat	5	471	Sep 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	Just Wanted To Share.... (Preview) My AS has a court date next week and I have hope he will be ordered into rehab. maybe he will take this offer to work on his addiction. I have been in contact with the director of the rehab center and he is an ex-addict that understands all about this terrible affliction. I have been reading your post this...	DreamsOver	4	668	Sep 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	Overcoming my own sickness (Preview) I have just realized through a special reading in The Language of Letting go, that I have spent my life participating in harmful situations without even knowing I was being hurt or hurting. I had severe childhood trauma, I had a dad who was my step dad who adopted my brother and I who was an alcoholic,...	Maize	9	973	Sep 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	Something I found a long time ago . (Preview) DONT QUIT When things go wrong as they sometimes will, when the road your trudging seems all uphill. When the funds run low , and the debts are high , And u want to smile , but u have to sigh, When care is pressing you down a bit, Rest if you must but don"t you quit .Life is queer with its twists and turns ,...	abbyal	8	807	Sep 4, 2010 by Andrea12
	Another layer to the problem... (Preview) I've heard some speak very eloquently about how it has taken them so long to dig out of their relationship with their A. I think I'm learning all about this and then some. I'm learning how very bad it had become and how very deep I am and how very long it will take me to dig out.... I've been separated from t...	Rora	10	877	Sep 4, 2010 by Bettina
	How am I suppose to act when he is sober the next day??? (Preview) What am I suppose to do the day after he was so drunk and I come home from work and he is sober. I'm thinking because he needed me to take him somewhere and he new I wouldn't if he had been drinking. Am I just suppose to act like it never happed? Do I bring it up? I won't be lovie dovie with him cause I don't feel...	snodebb	13	1098	Sep 4, 2010 by Maize
	All in the Family (Preview) My alcoholic father died when I was 15. My 37 year old son has been an alcoholic since he was 16. Now, he is homeless and jobless. Somebody save me from this pain. He is going to die too. I can feel it coming. When the pain gets so bad, can I become like a shooting star and just fizzle out? Then, no more pain......	MariaShea	9	765	Sep 4, 2010 by MariaShea
	how do I know I cannot take no more and it's time to leave? (Preview) I have been married 3years and 8 months. I knew him for 3 years before that... things were always bad... we fight all the time over the silliest of things.. in the past 6 months i have refused to give in to every little thing and it has gotten worse.. every time we fight he takes off and goes out to party with h...	this too shall pass	16	976	Sep 4, 2010 by this too shall pass
	Oh well... (Preview) Time is flying by so I will make this quick! I am sitting in a library in my hometown where I spend time on this computer! I only have 27 minutes so here goes! I am getting more grateful as I sit here! I have a load of friends & so much to thank them for! I guess I have been blessed beyond measure. This weeken...	Hoot Nanny	2	654	Sep 3, 2010 by jewel91
	could use some help (Preview) My AH quit drinking 6 months ago and was doing pretty good. He had a couple of slips, one or two drinks a couple of times but was making real progress. But things have gone downhill fast the last few weeks. We are having problems with our partner who wants to sell the property which means we will have to find...	pineapple	4	698	Sep 3, 2010 by pineapple
	So much for the great family camping trip (Preview) Well I knew it wouldnt last long. Drinking on Monday, Tuesday and super drunk tonight. Our daughter got on the bus tonight and he was on the bus and she had to sit by him and she knew right away he was drunk. They got off the bus and she stopped at a friends house and call to warn me. yep he is super drunk. He wa...	snodebb	4	707	Sep 3, 2010 by Maize
	Still worried that I have nothing to live for... (Preview) I'm not suicidal...not even that depressed but I'm flat lined.......other than my daughter I dont' feel that there is much to live for.....nothing seems to bring me that much happiness and nothing excites me...it's like I have this filter that no happiness gets in ....I'm no upset, nothing happene...	mjhyankees	19	1313	Sep 3, 2010 by kitty
	More Goddess, Less Drama (Preview) She's back. Or at least she was for a 4-day weekend. She's back to the "place" for two more weeks and then she's out for good (hopefully). It's a new experience seeing her without her wild mood swings. Her "up" state was magnetic as you might imagine. The normal pattern for ou...	barisax	4	1110	Sep 3, 2010 by barisax
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.