The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
She's back. Or at least she was for a 4-day weekend. She's back to the "place" for two more weeks and then she's out for good (hopefully).
It's a new experience seeing her without her wild mood swings. Her "up" state was magnetic as you might imagine. The normal pattern for our visits was she'd be sullen when we first got together, and over the course of a few hours would get more on a roll - one particular example stands out in my mind and will forever, when she - having just turned 11 - entertained 8 adults for 2 hours and it was the most fun I think I ever had, but I could also see how it took a toll on the Goddess... she was utterly exhausted at the end of it and crashed like a speed freak who ran out of drugs. All of this without drugs. So to spend 4 hours with her and she never wavered much, it's pretty unusual. I really didn't see any manic or depressive behavior.
Of course this is after a year of very intense inpatient therapy that has kept her far from home. She is still very thin and doesn't eat much. That is not likely to change a whole lot. If she can just keep down what she does eat, she'll survive. Going to 12-step meetings is a requirement of her discharge, and so far she has chosen NA. I don't know the extent of any drug or alcohol use... IMO she has enough hereditary insanity going on that she doesn't need any help pushing her buttons. I know she is on some combination of Rx to manage her bipolar condition.
It was just so good to see her after more than 11 months (!) that I tried to just stay in the moment. But I did take a lot of pictures! IMO she has supermodel looks, but she has no interest (fortunately!) in pursuing that cesspool of a career. She still wants to be a lawyer. Still reads a lot. She couldn't believe I had never read George Orwell's 1984... gave me her copy of it... LOL.
Also at 16+, she may be past some of the "teen hormone crap" that I'm sure multiplied her symptoms and aggravated her condition the past two years. Teenagers in general are dramatic and refuse to believe "this too shall pass", but even for someone like me - just growing up helps a lot. I just waited until I was over 30 to start... LOL
Great post Barisax....I just love teens to death (figure of speech only). I was and Adolescent counselor and Alateen sponsor and hope I played a positive part in that part of their lives I had never done well or been well. There is not amount of money that would intice me to do those 7 years again. Done and over that is what hell was about for me. When I worked with them the most valueable thing I had that they wanted from me was to tell them what it was like for me (so that they would know they were not crazy alone) and to hear me tell them that so often what they thing and feel is normal...not nice, pretty and sane but normal and with time would pass on to something better if they chose better. They loved genuine hugs and to be told they were pretty and handsome and funny and smart. They loved hearing the "other" message the one that was opposed to what they thought of themselves. I of course rarely, if ever heard that message from my alcohol and drug affected family.
Keep loving her unconditionally...what ever you see of her...she's acceptable.
The DG returned home on this past Monday as planned. It's good that she's home and it's good that it went according to plan, which means she has been stable for all of the time since her "out date" was decided 5-6 weeks ago.
I will have to schedule my visit around all the paparazzi and family vying to see her... LOL. She's a survivor, and I mean that in the best way possible. To become a survivor, all one has to do is... survive. Survive crap in your life, crap in yourself, the world, whatever. FWIW she said I was a survivor too. Although I've never had to undergo anything as traumatic or as lengthy as a year in an institution. I was terrified at the thought when I was a kid. I was never suicidal but I often wondered if I would be suicidal if ever faced with the things they do to people to *prevent* self harm. I never had to face my greatest fear, this girl has faced it - and more. And for that, I am thankful - as I am thankful for her very existence.
