Because I was attending to an amends for myself (the abused child) as I was writing
a letter to my program "brother" who at first I displayed anger at being taken away
unjustly without notice and then later found out that I myself would have had him
incarcerated had I all the information. 

I bet if I were God I'd still be crying because God just has to cry for children who are
sexually abused or physically abused beyond their ability to protect themselves.

I wrote the letter putting distance between my friend and I because my trust has
been redefined by what I have come to know and because of my past experiences
and because even when I was an Alateen sponsor and adolescent counselor and
school counselor I was powerless over the abuses even when the abuser was a
"friend". 

Then I read your post and you added your colors to the picture and you caught me
crying.  It's okay, I'm okay feeling the powerlessness over again and the sadness
is temporary.  Today we do the best we can with what we have the old and the new
(thank you Al-Anon and MIP) and our ESH is what helps others as your post did.
Today I can be sad with you, happy with you and  hopeful with you and grateful that
if we choose better it may not happen again.

Not done crying and not done fighting and thank God it's not all I have to do anymore.

Gratefully (((((hugs)))))