Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I'm still very new to Al Anon but between what I've read on this board, what I've heard in the meetings, and a conversation I had with our marriage counselor (who is also a drug/alcohol counselor and also active in AA as an alcoholic), I feel like I am really starting to get this. First, I posted las...

kitty · kitty

I now know that what it takes to change and find health and discovery recovery and ourselves in this program, is willingness. Willingness more than anything else, will offer you the opportunity to let go of what no longer works for you, all of the patterns, cycles and habits that allow you to validate t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

What I'm wondering is if the program will encourage me to love unconditionally again. I feel so hurt and frustrated. My dh doesn't just have the alcohol issues but he also suffers from depression, and has an undiagnosed personality disorder. You can throw in the ADHD as an adult and I've got quite a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm gonna leave my house and drive 90 something miles to the other side of the island to attend a meeting by a group of people in position in Kona. I'm going because I have ESH to carry there regarding the subject...Drunk Driving...alcohol etc... I'm gonna listen mostly because I am anxious and appre...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I've posted on here over the past few months about how my dh was sober for 15 years and how I allowed us to start drinking wine, not realizing it would lead to him hiding and drinking gin and drinking while traveling for work, etc. Anyway, I started counseling but can't find a meeting that works with our sc...

shelley_74 · shelley_74

i joined here yesterday after having a terrible row with my alcoholic mother in the morning...i was at my wits end with her after finding another another wine bottle, she was very ill only a few short weeks ago where we thought that was it, her time was up! she's slightly better now and can walk again but h...

member922 · member922

So I just discovered this board and I mentioned it to my therapist, who thought it was a good idea for me. She strongly suggested that I attend a meeting. Am I really a candidate for a meeting? Or am I just whining that somebody isn't who I want them to be? I'm a little nervous about this, probably most pe...

hannahnicoleee12 · hannahnicoleee12

My dad has drank for as long as I've known . Sometimes my life feels like nothing will ever be better . My mom goes to meetings and my dad always convinces us, nothing is wrong, he's fine. When my mom confronts him when she smells the beer on him or we can just tell he's been drinking, of course he lies . I have t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

And I turned it all over and came on home. My little 87 Mazda cab+ pickup and me. Boy does that little bugger love to run and it brought me home in one piece...tired. The DUI symposium had some good people on panel. I knew some and then face to face with others I had only corresponded with by email or phone....

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Okay. My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic. I have two children ages 6 and 9. I grew up with an alcoholic father and still bear the emotional scars from it. I vowed never to raise children in that environment yet here I am. I have been reading on this site for a little while now and and am amazed by the s...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I got a letter from my brother this weekend. I'm very frustrated about some of the things he said. 1) He's blaming his behavior on medication, NOT alcohol. He said when you mix it with alcohol, its a double whammy, but never directly says alcohol was the problem. 2) Says that my dad and me need to watch wha...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), The world has been watching as the 32 Chilean miners have been brought to the surface alive after 69 days underneath the earth. This situation has got me thinking. These men and their families never gave up. They have demonstrated faith, courage and perserverance in some of the har...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I wake up to my one white silkie rooster, Jesse, I decided to keep, crowing his head off at my bedroom slider door.....Barlow my turkey is answering him of course from the barnyard... Hard to awake from my soft cozy warm bed with 5 little dogs all around me, my black poodle Happy under the covers. Tavish...

ascjmum · ascjmum

Hi all, I came here over a year ago but didnt post anything or chat, I just came to read. Today I am here because I just need reasuring that I am not being selfish - I have been married for just over 15 years and have 4 children - 14,12,8 and 4 all from my AH He is in total denial that he has a drinking problem altho...

buick23 · buick23

I have told my daugther about this slogan a week ago when she was faced with having to talk to someone and she was worried and nervous. She said what he meant, meant what she said, and she didn't say it mean and the conversation turned out ok. It's great being able to pass on what I learn here to my child. buic...

shelley_74 · shelley_74

hi my names shelley im 36 and my mother is an alcoholic and has been for as long as i can remember, the past few months have been very very difficult for all those close to her, a few short weeks ago she was very ill, all though to speak to her, it was nothing!... she couldnt walk her feet were so swollen, she wa...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I was reading old posts from March, one that stuck out was by DreamXL, something about "why we love who we do." There someone named Xter posted this from their brother: "we were raised this way - we can't stand being alone for a second so we take whatever's right in front of us" T...

SteppingUp · SteppingUp

I'm new here so if this is inappropriate please feel free to delete it. I'm new to Al-Anon, setting boundaries and pretty much everything else. It makes me feel more secure knowing that there are people out there who care and meetings that I can go to. I'm an iPhone user and came across an app that basical...

snodebb · snodebb

Our family had a great weekend. AH has been sober for about 5 days now. He is always sober on the weekends it is weird. We skipped church this Sunday been haveing some issues with a couple of people trying to butt into our lives. We've been going to that church for 15yrs and everyone knows about AH and...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Good stuff: have not bitten anyone's head off yet, am happy, am sleeping, am eating, am getting A's, my moostiff is amazing, my priorities due to limited time are showing themselves to me every day, manage to get MIP to at least read more often than i thought Not so good stuff: am grouc...

AlaMom · AlaMom

This program offers no promises of serenity unless we are willing to do the legwork to help ourselves. By putting the focus on ourselves and our needs we begin to find peace and serenity within our lives. We gain confidence in our abilities and learn to believe we are worthy of good things in our lives...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

For the first time I think my alcoholic fiance might have hit a low point. I had to send him away Sunday night and he woke up on the floor of his mid-renovation house. Missed work for the first time that I know of. Also for the first time, he apologized for his drinking, agreed it was not healthy for my fam...

Lizz · Lizz

I really dont know what the hell is wrong with me. My ABF and I split up about 3 months ago. The relationship had started to become violent and he had hit me on 3 separate occasions. The first time this happened we had argued over his x girlfriend and he was smashed and was very remorseful, we separated f...

Bettina · Bettina

For those of you who might be interested, this topic has to do with Parental Abduction, which 200,000. children are abducted by one of their parents in this country every year. As you have heard me mention from time to time. This happened to me way back in 1974 when my daughter was 6. Didnt find her unti...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

my will. I am trying very hard to let go with my 18yo daughter, but it is a daily struggle. I just invited her to attend a show with her brother and I and she gladly accepted but my crazy mind can't just leave it at that. Now I am trying to figure out how to make/help her see that she wants to be at home with us, n...

kerry5 · kerry5

Grateful on this thanksgiving weekend to be aware, . I do know the phrase : you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. . Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one a...

member922 · member922

Hi. I was very excited to find this board as a friend had advised me of the alanon program. My issues are with my current bf. I have been with him almost 2 yrs and actually got divorced because of him (a good thing though, I wasn't happy). The first yr I was with him, I wasn't with him much at all because I wa...

kath · kath

Today was most certainly a chance to practice even more because I have had contact with my AH today. Please help me with something. I am experiencing great sadness. After seeing him act out all the behaviors of an A, I know it is true that he has a problem. It just feels like someone just called and told me h...

applecake · applecake

I'll try to make this to the point: money is T-I-G-H-T lately. Like, no wiggle room to begin with, and then we had a big car repair and now there's *really* no room. So about a week ago, AH & I sat down and figured out how much we had, to make it to this friday. It was less than $100. A week + 2 days, less t...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi Everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and how they handled it. I've been in recovery and working my program for a little over a year. I have a friend who I've known since 3rd grade (I'm 37 yrs old), and we've been close for all of these years. I have found that, since I've been...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've not been feeling so depressed lately. Not happy mind you, although there have been some snippets of happy time here and there. But the absence of pain and depression is a blessing itself. I still feel frustrated at my recovery not speeding up (I know there's nothing I can do about it though, just...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, just genuinely wondering as I am new to Al Anon. Is the idea that I'm supposed to not care if my wife has been drinking? Meaning should I not be trying to find out if she has? She just got back from grocery shopping, and she was in somewhat of a foul mood when she left...bu...

teddybear · teddybear

Hello to all my old friends, and new ones too! Maybe some of the people who have been posting their comments for a long time.... remember me?? Life is not simple.... though I am trying to see the events that are going on with my sons as answers for them. Maybe they need to start choosing better partners?...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

My fiance is coming over in a little while to talk to me about last night... the drunken stumbling in late at night, the argument, him leaving. He says he still loves me and he is sorry. He actually called in to work this morning. That has NEVER happened. He says he couldn't sleep at all last night. He...

kbbs1 · kbbs1

Hi All- My family has a long history of dependency, family secrets with the women as enablers and the men (and a few women) are the 'broken' parties (From what I've read this is pretty common) there's not any specific dependency. It's ranged from physical abuse, methamphetamines, pedophilia, gambl...

buick23 · buick23

A year and 8 months ago my daugther decided to live with her dad and as of last Monday she's back with me. It was tough all that time but I made it tru. She found things out for herself. She knows I'm here for her and she came back on her own. Thank you everyone. buick

Sandy49203 · Sandy49203

My wife of 22 years has been sober 18 months. She's doing great, finding new independence and personal growth. Her personality has changed in the last 3-4 months. She's great with friends, a model mother to our children but distant and unavailable to me. I've never used the words "" an...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

Well, after the last couple of weeks of me agonizing over my fiance's strange behavior and increased drinking.... and trying to tell him how I felt with no luck.... he decided to disappear for a day and stumble in late last night..... but he would not talk. Should have just let him go to sleep I guess.......

thundermother · thundermother

Hi have a friend, who lives in the US, I'm in Canada, we met each other as business contacts and struck up a friendship. She admitted to me early on in our friendship that she was an alcoholic and then went on to tell me all her woes, with her addict bf and how he kicked her out and now she's basically homeles...

Jozie · Jozie

I am Looking for some Insight... OK, Currantly I have a Sponser, and how it came about, she was at my very 1st meeting, and one of the 1st to confront me, ESH me, Comfort me, and after about a year, I mentioned being ready (I thought ) for a Sponser, and she happily accepted.... SO, before this her & I kep...

susie56543 · susie56543

I need to talk about this. Unfortunately, I live in a very rural area (ugh) and the closest meeting is 2 hours away tonight. I'm about 35 weeks pregnant. At about 20 weeks, my ABF relapsed. I moved to Amish country with my dad & stepmom so I could continue through my pregnancy to be a full time student....

Terese · Terese

I look forward to the day when I can be of help to others here. Tonight, I am new, and I could use some support. My son Ben is 30 and is an alcoholic. He also suffers from agoraphobia. Until very recently, he was unable to leave the house. He has received good treatment and is able to make short car rides...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi gang.... Just concerned a wee bit of the tone of some of the replies lately.... I believe they are all coming from good intentions and heartfelt, but can we please steer clear of advice giving, wherever possible.... Share your E,S,&H, offer helpful options or food for thought, and offer encou...

kerry5 · kerry5

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving lots to be grateful for.!!! Kerry

Sam72 · Sam72

I havn't been on here in a really long time, My A and I have moved to a new state to be close to his Family. I have no friends or family here and I feel so alone. Things have got worse with my A's drinking and I feel like I'm watching him die in front of me and I'm not coping. For over a week now he has barley eaten a...

Fiddleman · Fiddleman

Hi All, I'm new here and this is my first post. I thought I needed to solicit opinions from seasoned Al Anoners regarding my level of involvement with my substance abusing (opiates, alcohol, Valium, etc) 27 year old son. He came out of his first rehab in mid-May after hitting what I thought was bottom...

N8SMOM · N8SMOM

When my husband's drinking got out of control (almost 2 years ago), I took all of the alcohol out of the house and I stopped drinking in front of him. He has been working on his sobriety for several months now and is doing a great job. I still drink every once in a while (I like my wine), but not around him. O...

Screaming Barbie · Screaming Barbie

Here are some good quotes on the subject: "Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark." ~ Rabindranath Tagore "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see." ~ William Newton Clarke "Take the FIRST STEP in faith...you don't have to see the whol...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

My 18 year old D who decided she wanted to try to make it on her own is now driving and uninsured and unregistered car. I feel a little bad about it because I had her me today and give me the plate so I can register it to her younger brothers car. She has paid me a total of $175 for insurance for the last year and a...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

So tonight was an exact repeat of last Friday, which I posted about. ABF was supposed to go to the 8pm AA meeting. Came home at the regular time, but was clearly drunk. Again. I didn't rant and rave. I simply told him he needed to leave. That I made it clear last week that he can do whatever he wants, but he wil...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

A few days ago I broke down and shared with him, through a letter, in a very loving way, that his behavior while drinking was really starting to hurt me.... not only during the episodes, but I was completely anxious and fearful of the next episodes I knew were coming. He pretty much tossed it aside, did n...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I know we are not suppose to be talking about outside help but I don`t have anywhere to bring this and would like to get others opinions please. Since starting Alanon these past few months I decided I could see that my background really is playing a big part in my life. I have 2 adult children that both have...

kerry5 · kerry5

Its thanksgiving weekend for us Canadians and i might not be home in time to chair. i would appreciate it if someone would step up tonight and chair. Thanks kerry (aka kerisha)

Aloha · Aloha

I've been reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I can relate so much to what she's written, and I'm sure she'd qualify as a great Al-Anon member. I was reading a passage in her book towards the end about her hesitation to return to a relationship after her divorce, and she was writi...

liljeannie · liljeannie

It's taken me a while to get here, but I am finally here....it's over...at least the emotional and mental part anyway. I have come to the realization that although I wanted my ABF to change, he just isnt ready..it's time for me to move on. I have spent the past 8 1/2 years living with insanity, lies, an...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Ugh!! Sometimes discovery isn't a lot of fun. Truely seeing my negative behaviors can be amazing. I read a book a year or so ago that spoke of watching your thoughts, rather than acting on them. Just watch and listen to your mind. I am slowly getting better at it. This morning my mind wants to think a...

thundermother · thundermother

Hi, I am a 45 yo mother of 2 who has been involved with an active A for the last 10 years. We live together and one child is his biologically. Since we met, my health, sanity and confidence has been slowly eroding. I am now on anti-anxiety medication and cannot do half of what I used to. I feel like a priso...

Kate999 · Kate999

Hello! I was looking for an Al-Anon board because I am really struggling. I grew up with two alcoholic parents who died in a house fire related to alcohol. I won't go into detail, but there was a lot of abuse and it was very difficult. I've worked hard to create a good life. I don't drink at all (an ounce of pr...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I was able to NOT let my bf's mom get to me through texting, thanks to the help of my sponsor! I called my sponsor in the middle of the insanity and she helped me through it all. My bf's mom was trying to get me to get up set so I would go home and yell at my A about things. It was my fault for texting her a note o...

Screaming Barbie · Screaming Barbie

When you know what is best but are worried what others will think.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Really, really, really starting to get this... (Preview) Hi all, I'm still very new to Al Anon but between what I've read on this board, what I've heard in the meetings, and a conversation I had with our marriage counselor (who is also a drug/alcohol counselor and also active in AA as an alcoholic), I feel like I am really starting to get this. First, I posted las...	usedtobeanyer	11	849	Oct 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Changing and Recovery (Preview) I now know that what it takes to change and find health and discovery recovery and ourselves in this program, is willingness. Willingness more than anything else, will offer you the opportunity to let go of what no longer works for you, all of the patterns, cycles and habits that allow you to validate t...	kitty	2	684	Oct 14, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	General question about loving an A spouse (Preview) What I'm wondering is if the program will encourage me to love unconditionally again. I feel so hurt and frustrated. My dh doesn't just have the alcohol issues but he also suffers from depression, and has an undiagnosed personality disorder. You can throw in the ADHD as an adult and I've got quite a...	ilovedogs	8	1087	Oct 14, 2010 by hotrod
	So here's what I'm gonna do in a few minutes. (Preview) I'm gonna leave my house and drive 90 something miles to the other side of the island to attend a meeting by a group of people in position in Kona. I'm going because I have ESH to carry there regarding the subject...Drunk Driving...alcohol etc... I'm gonna listen mostly because I am anxious and appre...	Jerry F	14	880	Oct 14, 2010 by member922
	H is trying to tell me he's not an alcoholic (Preview) I've posted on here over the past few months about how my dh was sober for 15 years and how I allowed us to start drinking wine, not realizing it would lead to him hiding and drinking gin and drinking while traveling for work, etc. Anyway, I started counseling but can't find a meeting that works with our sc...	ilovedogs	6	904	Oct 14, 2010 by Bettina
	i feel guilty now (Preview) i joined here yesterday after having a terrible row with my alcoholic mother in the morning...i was at my wits end with her after finding another another wine bottle, she was very ill only a few short weeks ago where we thought that was it, her time was up! she's slightly better now and can walk again but h...	shelley_74	9	492	Oct 14, 2010 by shelley_74
	Attending a meeting?? (Preview) So I just discovered this board and I mentioned it to my therapist, who thought it was a good idea for me. She strongly suggested that I attend a meeting. Am I really a candidate for a meeting? Or am I just whining that somebody isn't who I want them to be? I'm a little nervous about this, probably most pe...	member922	6	508	Oct 13, 2010 by Aloha
	I don't know what to do anymore (Preview) My dad has drank for as long as I've known . Sometimes my life feels like nothing will ever be better . My mom goes to meetings and my dad always convinces us, nothing is wrong, he's fine. When my mom confronts him when she smells the beer on him or we can just tell he's been drinking, of course he lies . I have t...	hannahnicoleee12	7	1160	Oct 13, 2010 by abbyal
	We did good!! (Preview) And I turned it all over and came on home. My little 87 Mazda cab+ pickup and me. Boy does that little bugger love to run and it brought me home in one piece...tired. The DUI symposium had some good people on panel. I knew some and then face to face with others I had only corresponded with by email or phone....	Jerry F	6	751	Oct 13, 2010 by RLC
	Here's my story... (Preview) Okay. My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic. I have two children ages 6 and 9. I grew up with an alcoholic father and still bear the emotional scars from it. I vowed never to raise children in that environment yet here I am. I have been reading on this site for a little while now and and am amazed by the s...	sunshinemama	5	444	Oct 13, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Frustrated (Preview) I got a letter from my brother this weekend. I'm very frustrated about some of the things he said. 1) He's blaming his behavior on medication, NOT alcohol. He said when you mix it with alcohol, its a double whammy, but never directly says alcohol was the problem. 2) Says that my dad and me need to watch wha...	NCSUgeology	11	805	Oct 13, 2010 by NCSUgeology
	Miner miracles (Preview) ((((Family)))), The world has been watching as the 32 Chilean miners have been brought to the surface alive after 69 days underneath the earth. This situation has got me thinking. These men and their families never gave up. They have demonstrated faith, courage and perserverance in some of the har...	Karilynn	3	752	Oct 13, 2010 by Jerry F
	October Eden Update (Preview) I wake up to my one white silkie rooster, Jesse, I decided to keep, crowing his head off at my bedroom slider door.....Barlow my turkey is answering him of course from the barnyard... Hard to awake from my soft cozy warm bed with 5 little dogs all around me, my black poodle Happy under the covers. Tavish...	lyndebi	4	521	Oct 13, 2010 by ythannah
	it's all about me (Preview) Hi all, I came here over a year ago but didnt post anything or chat, I just came to read. Today I am here because I just need reasuring that I am not being selfish - I have been married for just over 15 years and have 4 children - 14,12,8 and 4 all from my AH He is in total denial that he has a drinking problem altho...	ascjmum	8	560	Oct 13, 2010 by ascjmum
	say what u mean, mean what u say, and don't say it mean (Preview) I have told my daugther about this slogan a week ago when she was faced with having to talk to someone and she was worried and nervous. She said what he meant, meant what she said, and she didn't say it mean and the conversation turned out ok. It's great being able to pass on what I learn here to my child. buic...	buick23	10	831	Oct 13, 2010 by shelley_74
	new here and desperately need your help!! (Preview) hi my names shelley im 36 and my mother is an alcoholic and has been for as long as i can remember, the past few months have been very very difficult for all those close to her, a few short weeks ago she was very ill, all though to speak to her, it was nothing!... she couldnt walk her feet were so swollen, she wa...	shelley_74	8	789	Oct 13, 2010 by shelley_74
	How to love me... (Preview) I was reading old posts from March, one that stuck out was by DreamXL, something about "why we love who we do." There someone named Xter posted this from their brother: "we were raised this way - we can't stand being alone for a second so we take whatever's right in front of us" T...	sunflowergirl	10	736	Oct 13, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	There's an app for us... (Preview) I'm new here so if this is inappropriate please feel free to delete it. I'm new to Al-Anon, setting boundaries and pretty much everything else. It makes me feel more secure knowing that there are people out there who care and meetings that I can go to. I'm an iPhone user and came across an app that basical...	SteppingUp	5	5578	Oct 12, 2010 by blender_girl
	Checking in and all is good (Preview) Our family had a great weekend. AH has been sober for about 5 days now. He is always sober on the weekends it is weird. We skipped church this Sunday been haveing some issues with a couple of people trying to butt into our lives. We've been going to that church for 15yrs and everyone knows about AH and...	snodebb	2	694	Oct 12, 2010 by snodebb
	Checking In (Preview) Hello everyone, Good stuff: have not bitten anyone's head off yet, am happy, am sleeping, am eating, am getting A's, my moostiff is amazing, my priorities due to limited time are showing themselves to me every day, manage to get MIP to at least read more often than i thought Not so good stuff: am grouc...	Jennifer	2	671	Oct 12, 2010 by Jennifer
	Rewards of doing the legwork (Preview) This program offers no promises of serenity unless we are willing to do the legwork to help ourselves. By putting the focus on ourselves and our needs we begin to find peace and serenity within our lives. We gain confidence in our abilities and learn to believe we are worthy of good things in our lives...	AlaMom	10	924	Oct 12, 2010 by srose
	When an alcoholic first decides to stop drinking, what do you say to support him? (Preview) For the first time I think my alcoholic fiance might have hit a low point. I had to send him away Sunday night and he woke up on the floor of his mid-renovation house. Missed work for the first time that I know of. Also for the first time, he apologized for his drinking, agreed it was not healthy for my fam...	oklahoma momof5	12	895	Oct 12, 2010 by lyndebi
	What the hell is wrong with me? (Preview) I really dont know what the hell is wrong with me. My ABF and I split up about 3 months ago. The relationship had started to become violent and he had hit me on 3 separate occasions. The first time this happened we had argued over his x girlfriend and he was smashed and was very remorseful, we separated f...	Lizz	5	710	Oct 12, 2010 by xeno59
	off topic, but stuff of Life.... (Preview) For those of you who might be interested, this topic has to do with Parental Abduction, which 200,000. children are abducted by one of their parents in this country every year. As you have heard me mention from time to time. This happened to me way back in 1974 when my daughter was 6. Didnt find her unti...	Bettina	4	519	Oct 12, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Still Hanging onto... (Preview) my will. I am trying very hard to let go with my 18yo daughter, but it is a daily struggle. I just invited her to attend a show with her brother and I and she gladly accepted but my crazy mind can't just leave it at that. Now I am trying to figure out how to make/help her see that she wants to be at home with us, n...	Ginger90	5	574	Oct 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Program Reminder (Preview) Grateful on this thanksgiving weekend to be aware, . I do know the phrase : you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. . Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one a...	kerry5	2	629	Oct 12, 2010 by thundermother
	New here and not sure this is where I should be.... (Preview) Hi. I was very excited to find this board as a friend had advised me of the alanon program. My issues are with my current bf. I have been with him almost 2 yrs and actually got divorced because of him (a good thing though, I wasn't happy). The first yr I was with him, I wasn't with him much at all because I wa...	member922	10	1104	Oct 12, 2010 by member922
	a chance to practice practice practice (Preview) Today was most certainly a chance to practice even more because I have had contact with my AH today. Please help me with something. I am experiencing great sadness. After seeing him act out all the behaviors of an A, I know it is true that he has a problem. It just feels like someone just called and told me h...	kath	3	758	Oct 12, 2010 by Jerry F
	what should I do about this? trying to do things "right." (Preview) I'll try to make this to the point: money is T-I-G-H-T lately. Like, no wiggle room to begin with, and then we had a big car repair and now there's really no room. So about a week ago, AH & I sat down and figured out how much we had, to make it to this friday. It was less than $100. A week + 2 days, less t...	applecake	8	506	Oct 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	Growing apart from a long-time friend... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and how they handled it. I've been in recovery and working my program for a little over a year. I have a friend who I've known since 3rd grade (I'm 37 yrs old), and we've been close for all of these years. I have found that, since I've been...	stopandchat	4	880	Oct 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	some frustration, some recovery. (Preview) I've not been feeling so depressed lately. Not happy mind you, although there have been some snippets of happy time here and there. But the absence of pain and depression is a blessing itself. I still feel frustrated at my recovery not speeding up (I know there's nothing I can do about it though, just...	mjhyankees	5	775	Oct 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Am I supposed to not care if she drinks? (Preview) Hi all, I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, just genuinely wondering as I am new to Al Anon. Is the idea that I'm supposed to not care if my wife has been drinking? Meaning should I not be trying to find out if she has? She just got back from grocery shopping, and she was in somewhat of a foul mood when she left...bu...	usedtobeanyer	11	1156	Oct 11, 2010 by xeno59
	enough is enough (Preview) Hello to all my old friends, and new ones too! Maybe some of the people who have been posting their comments for a long time.... remember me?? Life is not simple.... though I am trying to see the events that are going on with my sons as answers for them. Maybe they need to start choosing better partners?...	teddybear	5	506	Oct 11, 2010 by teddybear
	help?? (Preview) My fiance is coming over in a little while to talk to me about last night... the drunken stumbling in late at night, the argument, him leaving. He says he still loves me and he is sorry. He actually called in to work this morning. That has NEVER happened. He says he couldn't sleep at all last night. He...	oklahoma momof5	13	862	Oct 11, 2010 by Bettina
	Hoping I did the right thing..... (Preview) Hi All- My family has a long history of dependency, family secrets with the women as enablers and the men (and a few women) are the 'broken' parties (From what I've read this is pretty common) there's not any specific dependency. It's ranged from physical abuse, methamphetamines, pedophilia, gambl...	kbbs1	5	842	Oct 11, 2010 by kbbs1
	hello (Preview) A year and 8 months ago my daugther decided to live with her dad and as of last Monday she's back with me. It was tough all that time but I made it tru. She found things out for herself. She knows I'm here for her and she came back on her own. Thank you everyone. buick	buick23	4	594	Oct 11, 2010 by Mandy123
	Who is this sober woman; where is my wife? (Preview) My wife of 22 years has been sober 18 months. She's doing great, finding new independence and personal growth. Her personality has changed in the last 3-4 months. She's great with friends, a model mother to our children but distant and unavailable to me. I've never used the words "" an...	Sandy49203	9	1213	Oct 11, 2010 by gfb1
	I guess he's leaving me..... =( (Preview) Well, after the last couple of weeks of me agonizing over my fiance's strange behavior and increased drinking.... and trying to tell him how I felt with no luck.... he decided to disappear for a day and stumble in late last night..... but he would not talk. Should have just let him go to sleep I guess.......	oklahoma momof5	4	612	Oct 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Detaching from an A Friend (Preview) Hi have a friend, who lives in the US, I'm in Canada, we met each other as business contacts and struck up a friendship. She admitted to me early on in our friendship that she was an alcoholic and then went on to tell me all her woes, with her addict bf and how he kicked her out and now she's basically homeles...	thundermother	3	826	Oct 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	I need Sponser Issues ESH!!!! (Preview) I am Looking for some Insight... OK, Currantly I have a Sponser, and how it came about, she was at my very 1st meeting, and one of the 1st to confront me, ESH me, Comfort me, and after about a year, I mentioned being ready (I thought ) for a Sponser, and she happily accepted.... SO, before this her & I kep...	Jozie	1	789	Oct 11, 2010 by hotrod
	pregnant mom, possesive Adad. (Preview) I need to talk about this. Unfortunately, I live in a very rural area (ugh) and the closest meeting is 2 hours away tonight. I'm about 35 weeks pregnant. At about 20 weeks, my ABF relapsed. I moved to Amish country with my dad & stepmom so I could continue through my pregnancy to be a full time student....	susie56543	6	1045	Oct 11, 2010 by susie56543
	I'm New Here (Preview) I look forward to the day when I can be of help to others here. Tonight, I am new, and I could use some support. My son Ben is 30 and is an alcoholic. He also suffers from agoraphobia. Until very recently, he was unable to leave the house. He has received good treatment and is able to make short car rides...	Terese	3	799	Oct 11, 2010 by hotrod
	Gentle reminder re: giving advice.... (Preview) Hi gang.... Just concerned a wee bit of the tone of some of the replies lately.... I believe they are all coming from good intentions and heartfelt, but can we please steer clear of advice giving, wherever possible.... Share your E,S,&H, offer helpful options or food for thought, and offer encou...	canadianguy	8	1186	Oct 11, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Happy Thanksgiving Canadians! (Preview) Hope you have a great Thanksgiving lots to be grateful for.!!! Kerry	kerry5	4	429	Oct 11, 2010 by kerry5
	Not Coping (Preview) I havn't been on here in a really long time, My A and I have moved to a new state to be close to his Family. I have no friends or family here and I feel so alone. Things have got worse with my A's drinking and I feel like I'm watching him die in front of me and I'm not coping. For over a week now he has barley eaten a...	Sam72	5	748	Oct 11, 2010 by Sam72
	Enabling or saving a life? enabling money (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here and this is my first post. I thought I needed to solicit opinions from seasoned Al Anoners regarding my level of involvement with my substance abusing (opiates, alcohol, Valium, etc) 27 year old son. He came out of his first rehab in mid-May after hitting what I thought was bottom...	Fiddleman	12	9609	Oct 10, 2010 by Fiddleman
	Feeling Guilty (Preview) When my husband's drinking got out of control (almost 2 years ago), I took all of the alcohol out of the house and I stopped drinking in front of him. He has been working on his sobriety for several months now and is doing a great job. I still drink every once in a while (I like my wine), but not around him. O...	N8SMOM	6	778	Oct 10, 2010 by N8SMOM
	Fear and Faith. (Preview) Here are some good quotes on the subject: "Faith is the bird that sings when the dawn is still dark." ~ Rabindranath Tagore "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see." ~ William Newton Clarke "Take the FIRST STEP in faith...you don't have to see the whol...	Screaming Barbie	3	1510	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Tough Love (Preview) My 18 year old D who decided she wanted to try to make it on her own is now driving and uninsured and unregistered car. I feel a little bad about it because I had her me today and give me the plate so I can register it to her younger brothers car. She has paid me a total of $175 for insurance for the last year and a...	Ginger90	6	934	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Wash, rinse, repeat (Preview) So tonight was an exact repeat of last Friday, which I posted about. ABF was supposed to go to the 8pm AA meeting. Came home at the regular time, but was clearly drunk. Again. I didn't rant and rave. I simply told him he needed to leave. That I made it clear last week that he can do whatever he wants, but he wil...	jettiesgirl	5	826	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	He found out about al-anon =( (Preview) A few days ago I broke down and shared with him, through a letter, in a very loving way, that his behavior while drinking was really starting to hurt me.... not only during the episodes, but I was completely anxious and fearful of the next episodes I knew were coming. He pretty much tossed it aside, did n...	oklahoma momof5	8	1173	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Difficult Time... Is Someone Willing to be a Temp Sponsor? (Preview) I know we are not suppose to be talking about outside help but I don`t have anywhere to bring this and would like to get others opinions please. Since starting Alanon these past few months I decided I could see that my background really is playing a big part in my life. I have 2 adult children that both have...	Samsgram	2	1172	Oct 10, 2010 by xeno59
	Need Chair person for Sunday 7pm meeting October 10th 2010 (Preview) Its thanksgiving weekend for us Canadians and i might not be home in time to chair. i would appreciate it if someone would step up tonight and chair. Thanks kerry (aka kerisha)	kerry5	0	479	Oct 10, 2010 by kerry5
	I fell in love not with the person but with their POTENTIAL. (Preview) I've been reading "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I can relate so much to what she's written, and I'm sure she'd qualify as a great Al-Anon member. I was reading a passage in her book towards the end about her hesitation to return to a relationship after her divorce, and she was writi...	Aloha	8	822	Oct 9, 2010 by susie56543
	Making changes, needing ESH (Preview) It's taken me a while to get here, but I am finally here....it's over...at least the emotional and mental part anyway. I have come to the realization that although I wanted my ABF to change, he just isnt ready..it's time for me to move on. I have spent the past 8 1/2 years living with insanity, lies, an...	liljeannie	5	791	Oct 8, 2010 by lyndebi
	Watching myself... (Preview) Ugh!! Sometimes discovery isn't a lot of fun. Truely seeing my negative behaviors can be amazing. I read a book a year or so ago that spoke of watching your thoughts, rather than acting on them. Just watch and listen to your mind. I am slowly getting better at it. This morning my mind wants to think a...	fishinmama	6	829	Oct 8, 2010 by kath
	New and in need of hope and help (Preview) Hi, I am a 45 yo mother of 2 who has been involved with an active A for the last 10 years. We live together and one child is his biologically. Since we met, my health, sanity and confidence has been slowly eroding. I am now on anti-anxiety medication and cannot do half of what I used to. I feel like a priso...	thundermother	14	934	Oct 8, 2010 by thundermother
	New...and upset (Preview) Hello! I was looking for an Al-Anon board because I am really struggling. I grew up with two alcoholic parents who died in a house fire related to alcohol. I won't go into detail, but there was a lot of abuse and it was very difficult. I've worked hard to create a good life. I don't drink at all (an ounce of pr...	Kate999	4	762	Oct 8, 2010 by lyndebi
	What I did yesterday :) (Preview) I was able to NOT let my bf's mom get to me through texting, thanks to the help of my sponsor! I called my sponsor in the middle of the insanity and she helped me through it all. My bf's mom was trying to get me to get up set so I would go home and yell at my A about things. It was my fault for texting her a note o...	sunflowergirl	4	794	Oct 8, 2010 by Jerry F
	What is a good quote or saying for taking care of yourself when others say you SHOULD do this or that? (Preview) When you know what is best but are worried what others will think.	Screaming Barbie	12	1602	Oct 8, 2010 by kitty
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.