The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today was most certainly a chance to practice even more because I have had contact with my AH today. Please help me with something. I am experiencing great sadness. After seeing him act out all the behaviors of an A, I know it is true that he has a problem. It just feels like someone just called and told me he has cancer and will die in six months. I am somewhat in shock. It really is true that he is sick. He has no idea that he has a problem.(well, let's just say he knows, but he is in denial and has never admitted a problem) I just continue to work on myself. Don't think that I didn't tell him that he has a problem today because I did. I knew it would fall on deaf ears, but I had to say it for me. I had to clearly let him know the reasons for sure why we are not together and also the reasons he is not babysitting our daughter while I go to school. I really don't have to explain my reasons, its just that I got twisted around a bit today because he makes his lifestyle seem all so innocent and wholesome environment in which to raise children, and after all, he is the father of our child. I am noticing a difference today aside from the sadness, that I am becoming stronger and standing up for myself. It is fearful sometimes because I have never really stood up to anybody. I have always just gone along with everything trying not to make waves. I can't stand making waves. This program really works because I have never before had a confrontation with my AH and not left without feeling guilty, manipulated, angry, and confused. Thank God for Al Anon!!
I am so proud of you standing strong and doing for yourself and your daughter. A lot of what you say rings true to me and probably a lot of others as well. I don't know so much about this whole program, but I feel like the sadness would be a part of the recovery process???
It's so great to hear that Al Anon is working for you, gives me some hope. Thanks.
Thank you for sharing. I find inspiration and strength in reading of other people's moments of strength. I also had periods of sadness. When my xah reached a certain point in his progression it simply felt like I was in mourning. I do believe the sadness can be a part of my recovery, the feeling has repeated itself at various times almost always when I am losing some measure of denial I have held onto in some way. I find it helpful to actively remind myself that sometimes being sad is a perfectly natural reaction. Meditating to find the root of my feelings and accepting the feeling without fighting is usually the key I need to start healing. Best wishes to you.
Aloha Kath...Good progress Yay!! We are supposed to feel sadness in order to know we are normal. If you didn't feel sadness, compassion, concern you'd most likely be feeling indifference which for me was an empty form of detachment. (anger, indifference then love). Because he doesn't respond in like kind doesn't mean that you don't know what's real. You do know and know that you know and have been practicing on that awareness. (((((hugs))))) and keep bringing your recovery back.
