Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I need advice on how to deal with passive aggressive behavior. This is where my dh gets me most. He was sober for 15 years and that's always been his way. Getting pouty, walking out of a room, giving the silent treatment, baiting you with his comments to get you to engage or fight with him, etc. I've be...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi everyone, I'm hoping some others here can provide some specific examples of ways they detach from their partner. I'm finding it to be hard and rather than detaching I'm dismissing. Which is working well for me but not for her. I read someone else post about how they "detached with anger"...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My AS is in drug rehab, he has visiting privileges on Sunday's. When I visit him he does everything he can to upset me, pull me into his drama of his drug use, that has given our family so much pain. We have tried to help him but until he wants recovery we can't make it happen for him. When I get home I am a wre...

maresie · maresie

When I first got here I was full of willfulness. When people suggested something or a skill I could master, I felt that I "should" not have to do that. I held onto the willfulness as a way to show my anger, resentment, hurt and fear. I absolutely did not want to accept the now ex AH was absolut...

member922 · member922

Tonight I will be attending my first Alanon meeting. I am a little nervous, but excited the same. I was just wondering what to expect. I think it will be very emotional for me, as I tear up a lot lately thinking about things I have learned so far. I do see my therapist early this afternoon and I am glad tha...

fishinmama · fishinmama

Hi Folks, Well today is a big day here for me. As many of you know I have been off work for 11 months due to illness. My short term disability ran out in May. So things have been tight. In June I got the doctor to release me for work if I find work closer to home so I don't have to drive. I then registered for u...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

my Mom is home & I am glad she is, she had a great time! after her being gone for about I week, I realize that she is so important to me & how I value our relationship! Even though she gets on my last nerve sometimes, I know she will be there for me & me for her! How can you not appreciate a wonderfu...

BlueCloud · BlueCloud

Dear Family, I am writing for ES&H on the kind of painful emotional distances that can develop in families impacted by alcoholism. I love my younger sister dearly and yet despite my hopes that we would become best friends at some point, we have never been close. I keep hoping this will change, but w...

crushed · crushed

I am 41 and the oldest of three girls, our mom suffered a brain aneurysm about 3 months ago. She was in ICU for 19 days and in intermediate care for another 7 days. She is very lucky to be here with us today. She owns two taverns and I quit my job when she suffered her aneurysm. I stayed at the hospital with her 5...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

It is not really caring how things turn out. I have learned so much lately. I have always thought in black and white and been very uncomfortable with gray. I like to have a plan and know what is going on with other people and what is coming at me. Unfortunately, life doesn't play that way. Lately, I ha...

acappellamom · acappellamom

My husband has just come out of rehab, and things look good so far. He has been going to meetings, and I have been going to Alanon. I have two daughters - ages 10 & 12. I think they are too young for Alateen. They really need some sort of support group where they can encounter kids in a similar situat...

DaynaMC · DaynaMC

I am trying to work thru my own issues from my past, and trying to be supportive of my sister who is struggling now with her issues of being married to a A. She had finally got him out of her house and now she is beginning to talk about making a mends with him and having him move back. He is verbally abusive an...

Karilynn · Karilynn

(((((Family)))), A dear friend of mine's daughter could use all the love and prayers you could send her way. To make a long story short, she was misdiagnosed w/a condition, which led to the wrong meds being given. They then transferred her down to a major medical facility where she was doing well eno...

kittie · kittie

so im having a hell of a time forgiving my bf. we have been together a year and a half. for the first three months of our relationship he drank almost every day. then on that third month he went and spent the night at a sixteen year olds house, her rents were home and there were other people there. he says noth...

Tetongirl · Tetongirl

I told him I wanted a divorce on January 1, 2007. Here we are nearly 3 years later and I'm back in that miserable place again, while he drinks a little more every weekend and has drifted back into old habits. I can honestly say that I can't stand him right now, I have zero respect for him, I can't stand to be in...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Sometimes I don't know how my brain works. While of course I still have overall legitimate complaints (perhaps concerns is a better word) about my overall life, things have been good by any standards lately and I've been reasonably happy lately. So what do I do? I start staying up too late and not ge...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Well all this time my daughter has said to my grandaughter she doesnt drink. The other morning she stayed out all night according to what my gd told me and when she came in her breath smelled of alcohol and she looked real lousy she said to me. She has also been yelling at me a lot. Now I understand why she w...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm pretty sure my wife hasn't been drinking for the last few days, but I honestly don't know (and I'm happy to say that, as that means I've been succesful in detaching, i.e., I'm not searching her purse, the house, her phone, etc.). But the last few days have been horrible. I've come home to find her just...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

So, this is something I haven't really seen addressed here, but which is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress. I have kicked ABF out, b/c I cannot tolerate the lying and drinking, and the emotional abuse that comes with it. I also will not allow the craziness in my daughter's life. She should not have to...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM OUT OF SURGERY & ALMOST OUT OF MY MIND! NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVEN'T BEEN TO TOO MANY MEETINGS LATELY--ON THE PHONE A LOT! MY BODY IS SORE IN THE RIGHT PLACES I GUESS--IT IS HARD TO TYPE BUT I WILL DO MY BEST! THE SURGERY WAS 4 HRS. LONG--CAN'T LIFT MY ARMS VERY HIGH EITHER. BUT, I CAN TYPE WHAT I AM THINKIN...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

deal with thoughts that consume your mind about your A drinking? My AH told me yesterday that he wasn't going to drink anymore because he realized that due to me going to alanon, that he does have a problem with alcohol and was spiraling out of control. I know that I need to look past his words and watch h...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Shimo Happy Birthday :) May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Blessings !

Shawnn_ · Shawnn_

hello all I'm dealing with an alcoholic father. I'm 21 years old and have been coping with him my whole life. My father lost his job about ,2 years ago and found himseld in a severe state of depression. Lately all he does is drink and sleep. It's hard to be around him the slightest things set him off into a ra...

Suzannah · Suzannah

On the 28th September 2010 I reached the summit of Ben Nevis in Scotland - it just happens to be the highest mountain in the British Isles. (4,406ft) MINUS 71 degrees with winds gusting up to 50mph. I crept up that mountain like a snail with the aid of poles and I came down it like a crab - sideways steps be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM HAVING TROUBLE WAITING FOR THINGS TO GET BACK TO NORMAL--WAITING FOR THINGS IN GENERAL REALLY! IT KINDA MAKES ME DEPRESSED BUT ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME. I JUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN PRAYER & KEEP READING MY ALANON MEDITATION BOOKS--A BLESSING IN DISGUISE--DIDN'T DO IT HARDLY BEFO...

cristin · cristin

Hi everyone. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but my mom and I will be attending one on Tuesday. I'm hoping it will give us a new perspective. My brother is an alcoholic. He's 20 years old, started drinking when he was 14. He has ALWAYS had a behavior problem when he drinks, but over the years it...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Let me ask this about dealing with certain behaviors. My AH had a bad day at work, feels like the world is against him, gripes about how he can't do another day at his job, and gets depressed very easily. He hasn't had a drink as far as I can tell. He sits on the couch looking like he's stewing about somethi...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My very sharp and pain in the butt therapist (I joke about that of course, she's just helping me identify things that I have to work on) has brought up a topic that I need to examine and thought I'd see what some of you have experienced. My social relationships are somewhat impaired. While I'm a good pers...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Today is a new day! I am so grateful to be here on this planet still. A year ago at this time, I was so suicidal that my doctor placed me in a psychiatric hospital. I was so very sick. I am so glad that I didn't do that unthinkable thing. I am working with a sponsor now and have seen that surrendering to HP i...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Good morning family, My recent victory was one to work at and work at it I did. No slacking, no finding excuses, no self doubt. I dug deep and found the resolve and belief in me for myself. Having CHANGED my doubt into BELIEF made all the difference. If you think you cann't you WON'T. If you think you can...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi my name is meg. i am 43 years old. have been married for 21 years to alcoholic in denial. i didn't realise he was an alcoholic till recently (lol!!!_)been living with my 3 children since feb 2010. they are aged 23, 19 and 17. my son has had a drinking problem for quite some years (23 year old) and 19 year ol...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am slowly getting out & about although I actually overdid it yesterday--a week is too soon I guess. My body is sore but at least I had a chance to get out & visit you all! I will keep in touch & let you know when I am at full force! Take care all! Kathleen

Meleddy · Meleddy

Good Morning: I went to my first al-anon meeting last night. I took a lot away from the meeting. my mom is an alcoholic for well over 20 years now. She has attempted suicide twice that I know of, the last of which was Labor day weekend. We gave her options this last time, get sober, stay sober, go to meeti...

Diva · Diva

Perhaps when things are going well, some of us tend to move away from MIP. I am afraid I have been one who has done just that. "A" companion has been sober for several months now. Not a single slip in 7 or 8 months. While I am happy for that, I am also aware that his bingeing may well continue, n...

member922 · member922

Ok, so I am taking steps to get to a meeting. The issue for me is, am I allowed to go to a closed meeting? That seems to be the only time that will work for me. Can anyone explain the differences? Thanks!

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Right now I'm anxiously waiting for my copy of Getting Them Sober to arrive but that won't be here for another week to 10 days. But really, I feel like I am always waiting for my AH to do something. If he goes to the store I am watching the driveway for him to return because I'm already anticipating the alc...

Jozie · Jozie

Here I sit, Once more, with Tears Streaming down my face for yet another loss to this disease, my step sis & bro, have just lost their Afather this morning... I just got the call from my step mom, I yet again, find myself Helpless, Upset, and PISSED... This man was like many with this disease, Kind hea...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Friend of mine that I used to be very close with that I have drifted apart from the last 2 years called me yesterday. Once I got in recovery to be honest I just didnt have that much in common with her anymore. We were like sisters close. And being judgemental (admits) when she moved an active alcholic...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Obviously program must be helping. Getting positive feedback and ESH from everyone has to help. I've been reading websites about self love and happiness research (plus articles I find). I find that constantly reading about this helps it to sink in. I've also been thinking about why I should tr...

kitty · kitty

(finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- -- Message board post 10-14-2010 This wasnt something that was easy for me find or see, at all. I hated and loathed myself, I was very self destructive in all of my relationships. most especially the one including, just me. I called myself the worst names...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Last night I went to a group therapy session for depression. When I left, AH was perfectly fine. He told me he would see me soon, and that he loved me. When I got home, it was a whole different story. He seemed really upset with me by the look on his face. When I first got home, I asked where our 7 year old s...

snodebb · snodebb

Ok so the last 5 days were good. Tonight I come home from work and he had been drinking. He's not hiding it anymore sitting right out on the patio with his beer. I handled it pretty good just acted like nothing was different and went about my business was feeling proud. As the evening went hot he got anno...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

As I posted yesterday, I'm very new to Al Anon--I've only attended one meeting. My wife has been in AA for a few months but has had a few relapses as well, including this week. In looking at the literature that I received at the Al Anon meeting, it stressed that the alcoholic is suffering from an illness o...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

this seems to be a key to my recovery...If I can love myself.....well...then all things are possible....I was wondering how all of you do it.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I'm still very new to Al Anon but between what I've read on this board, what I've heard in the meetings, and a conversation I had with our marriage counselor (who is also a drug/alcohol counselor and also active in AA as an alcoholic), I feel like I am really starting to get this. First, I posted las...

kitty · kitty

I now know that what it takes to change and find health and discovery recovery and ourselves in this program, is willingness. Willingness more than anything else, will offer you the opportunity to let go of what no longer works for you, all of the patterns, cycles and habits that allow you to validate t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

What I'm wondering is if the program will encourage me to love unconditionally again. I feel so hurt and frustrated. My dh doesn't just have the alcohol issues but he also suffers from depression, and has an undiagnosed personality disorder. You can throw in the ADHD as an adult and I've got quite a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm gonna leave my house and drive 90 something miles to the other side of the island to attend a meeting by a group of people in position in Kona. I'm going because I have ESH to carry there regarding the subject...Drunk Driving...alcohol etc... I'm gonna listen mostly because I am anxious and appre...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I've posted on here over the past few months about how my dh was sober for 15 years and how I allowed us to start drinking wine, not realizing it would lead to him hiding and drinking gin and drinking while traveling for work, etc. Anyway, I started counseling but can't find a meeting that works with our sc...

shelley_74 · shelley_74

i joined here yesterday after having a terrible row with my alcoholic mother in the morning...i was at my wits end with her after finding another another wine bottle, she was very ill only a few short weeks ago where we thought that was it, her time was up! she's slightly better now and can walk again but h...

member922 · member922

So I just discovered this board and I mentioned it to my therapist, who thought it was a good idea for me. She strongly suggested that I attend a meeting. Am I really a candidate for a meeting? Or am I just whining that somebody isn't who I want them to be? I'm a little nervous about this, probably most pe...

hannahnicoleee12 · hannahnicoleee12

My dad has drank for as long as I've known . Sometimes my life feels like nothing will ever be better . My mom goes to meetings and my dad always convinces us, nothing is wrong, he's fine. When my mom confronts him when she smells the beer on him or we can just tell he's been drinking, of course he lies . I have t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

And I turned it all over and came on home. My little 87 Mazda cab+ pickup and me. Boy does that little bugger love to run and it brought me home in one piece...tired. The DUI symposium had some good people on panel. I knew some and then face to face with others I had only corresponded with by email or phone....

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Okay. My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic. I have two children ages 6 and 9. I grew up with an alcoholic father and still bear the emotional scars from it. I vowed never to raise children in that environment yet here I am. I have been reading on this site for a little while now and and am amazed by the s...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I got a letter from my brother this weekend. I'm very frustrated about some of the things he said. 1) He's blaming his behavior on medication, NOT alcohol. He said when you mix it with alcohol, its a double whammy, but never directly says alcohol was the problem. 2) Says that my dad and me need to watch wha...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), The world has been watching as the 32 Chilean miners have been brought to the surface alive after 69 days underneath the earth. This situation has got me thinking. These men and their families never gave up. They have demonstrated faith, courage and perserverance in some of the har...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I wake up to my one white silkie rooster, Jesse, I decided to keep, crowing his head off at my bedroom slider door.....Barlow my turkey is answering him of course from the barnyard... Hard to awake from my soft cozy warm bed with 5 little dogs all around me, my black poodle Happy under the covers. Tavish...

ascjmum · ascjmum

Hi all, I came here over a year ago but didnt post anything or chat, I just came to read. Today I am here because I just need reasuring that I am not being selfish - I have been married for just over 15 years and have 4 children - 14,12,8 and 4 all from my AH He is in total denial that he has a drinking problem altho...

buick23 · buick23

I have told my daugther about this slogan a week ago when she was faced with having to talk to someone and she was worried and nervous. She said what he meant, meant what she said, and she didn't say it mean and the conversation turned out ok. It's great being able to pass on what I learn here to my child. buic...

shelley_74 · shelley_74

hi my names shelley im 36 and my mother is an alcoholic and has been for as long as i can remember, the past few months have been very very difficult for all those close to her, a few short weeks ago she was very ill, all though to speak to her, it was nothing!... she couldnt walk her feet were so swollen, she wa...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Passive Aggressive Behavior (Preview) I need advice on how to deal with passive aggressive behavior. This is where my dh gets me most. He was sober for 15 years and that's always been his way. Getting pouty, walking out of a room, giving the silent treatment, baiting you with his comments to get you to engage or fight with him, etc. I've be...	ilovedogs	4	2035	Oct 19, 2010 by ilovedogs
	Specific examples of how to detach (Preview) Hi everyone, I'm hoping some others here can provide some specific examples of ways they detach from their partner. I'm finding it to be hard and rather than detaching I'm dismissing. Which is working well for me but not for her. I read someone else post about how they "detached with anger"...	usedtobeanyer	9	2141	Oct 19, 2010 by usedtobeanyer
	Trying Not To Give Him The Power..... (Preview) My AS is in drug rehab, he has visiting privileges on Sunday's. When I visit him he does everything he can to upset me, pull me into his drama of his drug use, that has given our family so much pain. We have tried to help him but until he wants recovery we can't make it happen for him. When I get home I am a wre...	DreamsOver	2	733	Oct 19, 2010 by abbyal
	Willingness and Willfulness (Preview) When I first got here I was full of willfulness. When people suggested something or a skill I could master, I felt that I "should" not have to do that. I held onto the willfulness as a way to show my anger, resentment, hurt and fear. I absolutely did not want to accept the now ex AH was absolut...	maresie	1	1105	Oct 18, 2010 by hotrod
	First Meeting Tonight - What to Expect? (Preview) Tonight I will be attending my first Alanon meeting. I am a little nervous, but excited the same. I was just wondering what to expect. I think it will be very emotional for me, as I tear up a lot lately thinking about things I have learned so far. I do see my therapist early this afternoon and I am glad tha...	member922	8	3280	Oct 18, 2010 by member922
	The day has arrived - all of a sudden I am not so sure of myself (Preview) Hi Folks, Well today is a big day here for me. As many of you know I have been off work for 11 months due to illness. My short term disability ran out in May. So things have been tight. In June I got the doctor to release me for work if I find work closer to home so I don't have to drive. I then registered for u...	fishinmama	5	571	Oct 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	MOM'S HOME & GLAD SHE IS! (Preview) my Mom is home & I am glad she is, she had a great time! after her being gone for about I week, I realize that she is so important to me & how I value our relationship! Even though she gets on my last nerve sometimes, I know she will be there for me & me for her! How can you not appreciate a wonderfu...	Hoot Nanny	2	492	Oct 18, 2010 by Tattyhead
	Seeking ES&H on Loving Detachment from My Sibling (Preview) Dear Family, I am writing for ES&H on the kind of painful emotional distances that can develop in families impacted by alcoholism. I love my younger sister dearly and yet despite my hopes that we would become best friends at some point, we have never been close. I keep hoping this will change, but w...	BlueCloud	2	925	Oct 18, 2010 by maresie
	Don't know what else to do (Preview) I am 41 and the oldest of three girls, our mom suffered a brain aneurysm about 3 months ago. She was in ICU for 19 days and in intermediate care for another 7 days. She is very lucky to be here with us today. She owns two taverns and I quit my job when she suffered her aneurysm. I stayed at the hospital with her 5...	crushed	9	711	Oct 18, 2010 by maresie
	I have found the secret (Preview) It is not really caring how things turn out. I have learned so much lately. I have always thought in black and white and been very uncomfortable with gray. I like to have a plan and know what is going on with other people and what is coming at me. Unfortunately, life doesn't play that way. Lately, I ha...	carolinagirl	6	554	Oct 18, 2010 by lebe27
	Preteens need a support group (Preview) My husband has just come out of rehab, and things look good so far. He has been going to meetings, and I have been going to Alanon. I have two daughters - ages 10 & 12. I think they are too young for Alateen. They really need some sort of support group where they can encounter kids in a similar situat...	acappellamom	5	826	Oct 18, 2010 by gypsyc2000
	Trying to be supportive, but it's hard (Preview) I am trying to work thru my own issues from my past, and trying to be supportive of my sister who is struggling now with her issues of being married to a A. She had finally got him out of her house and now she is beginning to talk about making a mends with him and having him move back. He is verbally abusive an...	DaynaMC	5	799	Oct 18, 2010 by abbyal
	Prayers please.... (Preview) (((((Family)))), A dear friend of mine's daughter could use all the love and prayers you could send her way. To make a long story short, she was misdiagnosed w/a condition, which led to the wrong meds being given. They then transferred her down to a major medical facility where she was doing well eno...	Karilynn	3	514	Oct 18, 2010 by Andrea12
	shes was 16 he was 29 (Preview) so im having a hell of a time forgiving my bf. we have been together a year and a half. for the first three months of our relationship he drank almost every day. then on that third month he went and spent the night at a sixteen year olds house, her rents were home and there were other people there. he says noth...	kittie	9	869	Oct 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	Lonely & dying inside a little more every day (Preview) I told him I wanted a divorce on January 1, 2007. Here we are nearly 3 years later and I'm back in that miserable place again, while he drinks a little more every weekend and has drifted back into old habits. I can honestly say that I can't stand him right now, I have zero respect for him, I can't stand to be in...	Tetongirl	7	1127	Oct 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	Self Sabotage (Preview) Sometimes I don't know how my brain works. While of course I still have overall legitimate complaints (perhaps concerns is a better word) about my overall life, things have been good by any standards lately and I've been reasonably happy lately. So what do I do? I start staying up too late and not ge...	mjhyankees	9	1066	Oct 17, 2010 by Jerry F
	7 Year old just realized her mother has been drinking.... (Preview) Well all this time my daughter has said to my grandaughter she doesnt drink. The other morning she stayed out all night according to what my gd told me and when she came in her breath smelled of alcohol and she looked real lousy she said to me. She has also been yelling at me a lot. Now I understand why she w...	Samsgram	11	615	Oct 17, 2010 by xeno59
	What if they aren't drunk, but acting badly...? (Preview) I'm pretty sure my wife hasn't been drinking for the last few days, but I honestly don't know (and I'm happy to say that, as that means I've been succesful in detaching, i.e., I'm not searching her purse, the house, her phone, etc.). But the last few days have been horrible. I've come home to find her just...	usedtobeanyer	6	961	Oct 17, 2010 by xeno59
	Dealing with others' judgment and expectations (Preview) So, this is something I haven't really seen addressed here, but which is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress. I have kicked ABF out, b/c I cannot tolerate the lying and drinking, and the emotional abuse that comes with it. I also will not allow the craziness in my daughter's life. She should not have to...	jettiesgirl	8	613	Oct 17, 2010 by xeno59
	surgery went well...now onto recovery! (Preview) I AM OUT OF SURGERY & ALMOST OUT OF MY MIND! NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVEN'T BEEN TO TOO MANY MEETINGS LATELY--ON THE PHONE A LOT! MY BODY IS SORE IN THE RIGHT PLACES I GUESS--IT IS HARD TO TYPE BUT I WILL DO MY BEST! THE SURGERY WAS 4 HRS. LONG--CAN'T LIFT MY ARMS VERY HIGH EITHER. BUT, I CAN TYPE WHAT I AM THINKIN...	Hoot Nanny	9	788	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	How do you..... (Preview) deal with thoughts that consume your mind about your A drinking? My AH told me yesterday that he wasn't going to drink anymore because he realized that due to me going to alanon, that he does have a problem with alcohol and was spiraling out of control. I know that I need to look past his words and watch h...	kimmy1975	7	483	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	(((SHIMO)))) Happy Birthday ! (Preview) Shimo Happy Birthday :) May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Blessings !	DreamXL	6	1979	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	Can't sleep father is drunk (Preview) hello all I'm dealing with an alcoholic father. I'm 21 years old and have been coping with him my whole life. My father lost his job about ,2 years ago and found himseld in a severe state of depression. Lately all he does is drink and sleep. It's hard to be around him the slightest things set him off into a ra...	Shawnn_	4	680	Oct 16, 2010 by Rocky38
	Rise above worry - and gain the power you richly deserve to gain victory of adversity. (Preview) On the 28th September 2010 I reached the summit of Ben Nevis in Scotland - it just happens to be the highest mountain in the British Isles. (4,406ft) MINUS 71 degrees with winds gusting up to 50mph. I crept up that mountain like a snail with the aid of poles and I came down it like a crab - sideways steps be...	Suzannah	9	679	Oct 16, 2010 by Ness
	can't wait for things... (Preview) I AM HAVING TROUBLE WAITING FOR THINGS TO GET BACK TO NORMAL--WAITING FOR THINGS IN GENERAL REALLY! IT KINDA MAKES ME DEPRESSED BUT ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME. I JUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN PRAYER & KEEP READING MY ALANON MEDITATION BOOKS--A BLESSING IN DISGUISE--DIDN'T DO IT HARDLY BEFO...	Hoot Nanny	0	514	Oct 16, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	New here...just need to vent (Preview) Hi everyone. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but my mom and I will be attending one on Tuesday. I'm hoping it will give us a new perspective. My brother is an alcoholic. He's 20 years old, started drinking when he was 14. He has ALWAYS had a behavior problem when he drinks, but over the years it...	cristin	2	725	Oct 16, 2010 by xeno59
	Another question? Yes, I'm bored, LOL! (Preview) Let me ask this about dealing with certain behaviors. My AH had a bad day at work, feels like the world is against him, gripes about how he can't do another day at his job, and gets depressed very easily. He hasn't had a drink as far as I can tell. He sits on the couch looking like he's stewing about somethi...	ilovedogs	5	507	Oct 16, 2010 by Diva
	Another area of life I need to look at. (Preview) My very sharp and pain in the butt therapist (I joke about that of course, she's just helping me identify things that I have to work on) has brought up a topic that I need to examine and thought I'd see what some of you have experienced. My social relationships are somewhat impaired. While I'm a good pers...	mjhyankees	1	393	Oct 16, 2010 by xeno59
	Accepting me for me (Preview) Today is a new day! I am so grateful to be here on this planet still. A year ago at this time, I was so suicidal that my doctor placed me in a psychiatric hospital. I was so very sick. I am so glad that I didn't do that unthinkable thing. I am working with a sponsor now and have seen that surrendering to HP i...	sunflowergirl	9	505	Oct 16, 2010 by Lisa Clark
	I have turned the ruin of me into a strong fortress and I know how to defend my fortress now...so can you. (Preview) Good morning family, My recent victory was one to work at and work at it I did. No slacking, no finding excuses, no self doubt. I dug deep and found the resolve and belief in me for myself. Having CHANGED my doubt into BELIEF made all the difference. If you think you cann't you WON'T. If you think you can...	Suzannah	6	473	Oct 16, 2010 by Loupiness
	some advice would be very welcome (Preview) hi my name is meg. i am 43 years old. have been married for 21 years to alcoholic in denial. i didn't realise he was an alcoholic till recently (lol!!!_)been living with my 3 children since feb 2010. they are aged 23, 19 and 17. my son has had a drinking problem for quite some years (23 year old) and 19 year ol...	Megthompson	10	1135	Oct 16, 2010 by Megthompson
	slowly but surely... (Preview) I am slowly getting out & about although I actually overdid it yesterday--a week is too soon I guess. My body is sore but at least I had a chance to get out & visit you all! I will keep in touch & let you know when I am at full force! Take care all! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	3	556	Oct 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	New Here... (Preview) Good Morning: I went to my first al-anon meeting last night. I took a lot away from the meeting. my mom is an alcoholic for well over 20 years now. She has attempted suicide twice that I know of, the last of which was Labor day weekend. We gave her options this last time, get sober, stay sober, go to meeti...	Meleddy	6	437	Oct 15, 2010 by abbyal
	I have been missing..... (Preview) Perhaps when things are going well, some of us tend to move away from MIP. I am afraid I have been one who has done just that. "A" companion has been sober for several months now. Not a single slip in 7 or 8 months. While I am happy for that, I am also aware that his bingeing may well continue, n...	Diva	4	518	Oct 15, 2010 by ythannah
	Open vs. Closed Meeting (Preview) Ok, so I am taking steps to get to a meeting. The issue for me is, am I allowed to go to a closed meeting? That seems to be the only time that will work for me. Can anyone explain the differences? Thanks!	member922	2	4504	Oct 15, 2010 by canadianguy
	I feel like I'm always waiting... (Preview) Right now I'm anxiously waiting for my copy of Getting Them Sober to arrive but that won't be here for another week to 10 days. But really, I feel like I am always waiting for my AH to do something. If he goes to the store I am watching the driveway for him to return because I'm already anticipating the alc...	sunshinemama	5	619	Oct 15, 2010 by Bettina
	Alcohol Strikes AGAIN... (Preview) Here I sit, Once more, with Tears Streaming down my face for yet another loss to this disease, my step sis & bro, have just lost their Afather this morning... I just got the call from my step mom, I yet again, find myself Helpless, Upset, and PISSED... This man was like many with this disease, Kind hea...	Jozie	7	853	Oct 15, 2010 by DreamXL
	shocked sheesh (Preview) Friend of mine that I used to be very close with that I have drifted apart from the last 2 years called me yesterday. Once I got in recovery to be honest I just didnt have that much in common with her anymore. We were like sisters close. And being judgemental (admits) when she moved an active alcholic...	DreamXL	5	462	Oct 15, 2010 by DreamXL
	Progress...but not sure totally how..... (Preview) Obviously program must be helping. Getting positive feedback and ESH from everyone has to help. I've been reading websites about self love and happiness research (plus articles I find). I find that constantly reading about this helps it to sink in. I've also been thinking about why I should tr...	mjhyankees	5	822	Oct 14, 2010 by ythannah
	(finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- (Preview) (finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- -- Message board post 10-14-2010 This wasnt something that was easy for me find or see, at all. I hated and loathed myself, I was very self destructive in all of my relationships. most especially the one including, just me. I called myself the worst names...	kitty	5	794	Oct 14, 2010 by ythannah
	AH is angry with me (Preview) Last night I went to a group therapy session for depression. When I left, AH was perfectly fine. He told me he would see me soon, and that he loved me. When I got home, it was a whole different story. He seemed really upset with me by the look on his face. When I first got home, I asked where our 7 year old s...	kimmy1975	11	562	Oct 14, 2010 by Christy
	Told him to pack his bags and leave if he didnt like it!!! (Preview) Ok so the last 5 days were good. Tonight I come home from work and he had been drinking. He's not hiding it anymore sitting right out on the patio with his beer. I handled it pretty good just acted like nothing was different and went about my business was feeling proud. As the evening went hot he got anno...	snodebb	3	404	Oct 14, 2010 by snodebb
	Having a hard time with the whole "illness/disease" concept (Preview) As I posted yesterday, I'm very new to Al Anon--I've only attended one meeting. My wife has been in AA for a few months but has had a few relapses as well, including this week. In looking at the literature that I received at the Al Anon meeting, it stressed that the alcoholic is suffering from an illness o...	usedtobeanyer	18	1456	Oct 14, 2010 by Dyinginside
	How do you love yourself.... (Preview) this seems to be a key to my recovery...If I can love myself.....well...then all things are possible....I was wondering how all of you do it.	mjhyankees	10	2151	Oct 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Really, really, really starting to get this... (Preview) Hi all, I'm still very new to Al Anon but between what I've read on this board, what I've heard in the meetings, and a conversation I had with our marriage counselor (who is also a drug/alcohol counselor and also active in AA as an alcoholic), I feel like I am really starting to get this. First, I posted las...	usedtobeanyer	11	837	Oct 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Changing and Recovery (Preview) I now know that what it takes to change and find health and discovery recovery and ourselves in this program, is willingness. Willingness more than anything else, will offer you the opportunity to let go of what no longer works for you, all of the patterns, cycles and habits that allow you to validate t...	kitty	2	670	Oct 14, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	General question about loving an A spouse (Preview) What I'm wondering is if the program will encourage me to love unconditionally again. I feel so hurt and frustrated. My dh doesn't just have the alcohol issues but he also suffers from depression, and has an undiagnosed personality disorder. You can throw in the ADHD as an adult and I've got quite a...	ilovedogs	8	1073	Oct 14, 2010 by hotrod
	So here's what I'm gonna do in a few minutes. (Preview) I'm gonna leave my house and drive 90 something miles to the other side of the island to attend a meeting by a group of people in position in Kona. I'm going because I have ESH to carry there regarding the subject...Drunk Driving...alcohol etc... I'm gonna listen mostly because I am anxious and appre...	Jerry F	14	866	Oct 14, 2010 by member922
	H is trying to tell me he's not an alcoholic (Preview) I've posted on here over the past few months about how my dh was sober for 15 years and how I allowed us to start drinking wine, not realizing it would lead to him hiding and drinking gin and drinking while traveling for work, etc. Anyway, I started counseling but can't find a meeting that works with our sc...	ilovedogs	6	891	Oct 14, 2010 by Bettina
	i feel guilty now (Preview) i joined here yesterday after having a terrible row with my alcoholic mother in the morning...i was at my wits end with her after finding another another wine bottle, she was very ill only a few short weeks ago where we thought that was it, her time was up! she's slightly better now and can walk again but h...	shelley_74	9	475	Oct 14, 2010 by shelley_74
	Attending a meeting?? (Preview) So I just discovered this board and I mentioned it to my therapist, who thought it was a good idea for me. She strongly suggested that I attend a meeting. Am I really a candidate for a meeting? Or am I just whining that somebody isn't who I want them to be? I'm a little nervous about this, probably most pe...	member922	6	498	Oct 13, 2010 by Aloha
	I don't know what to do anymore (Preview) My dad has drank for as long as I've known . Sometimes my life feels like nothing will ever be better . My mom goes to meetings and my dad always convinces us, nothing is wrong, he's fine. When my mom confronts him when she smells the beer on him or we can just tell he's been drinking, of course he lies . I have t...	hannahnicoleee12	7	1131	Oct 13, 2010 by abbyal
	We did good!! (Preview) And I turned it all over and came on home. My little 87 Mazda cab+ pickup and me. Boy does that little bugger love to run and it brought me home in one piece...tired. The DUI symposium had some good people on panel. I knew some and then face to face with others I had only corresponded with by email or phone....	Jerry F	6	742	Oct 13, 2010 by RLC
	Here's my story... (Preview) Okay. My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic. I have two children ages 6 and 9. I grew up with an alcoholic father and still bear the emotional scars from it. I vowed never to raise children in that environment yet here I am. I have been reading on this site for a little while now and and am amazed by the s...	sunshinemama	5	429	Oct 13, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Frustrated (Preview) I got a letter from my brother this weekend. I'm very frustrated about some of the things he said. 1) He's blaming his behavior on medication, NOT alcohol. He said when you mix it with alcohol, its a double whammy, but never directly says alcohol was the problem. 2) Says that my dad and me need to watch wha...	NCSUgeology	11	795	Oct 13, 2010 by NCSUgeology
	Miner miracles (Preview) ((((Family)))), The world has been watching as the 32 Chilean miners have been brought to the surface alive after 69 days underneath the earth. This situation has got me thinking. These men and their families never gave up. They have demonstrated faith, courage and perserverance in some of the har...	Karilynn	3	745	Oct 13, 2010 by Jerry F
	October Eden Update (Preview) I wake up to my one white silkie rooster, Jesse, I decided to keep, crowing his head off at my bedroom slider door.....Barlow my turkey is answering him of course from the barnyard... Hard to awake from my soft cozy warm bed with 5 little dogs all around me, my black poodle Happy under the covers. Tavish...	lyndebi	4	515	Oct 13, 2010 by ythannah
	it's all about me (Preview) Hi all, I came here over a year ago but didnt post anything or chat, I just came to read. Today I am here because I just need reasuring that I am not being selfish - I have been married for just over 15 years and have 4 children - 14,12,8 and 4 all from my AH He is in total denial that he has a drinking problem altho...	ascjmum	8	550	Oct 13, 2010 by ascjmum
	say what u mean, mean what u say, and don't say it mean (Preview) I have told my daugther about this slogan a week ago when she was faced with having to talk to someone and she was worried and nervous. She said what he meant, meant what she said, and she didn't say it mean and the conversation turned out ok. It's great being able to pass on what I learn here to my child. buic...	buick23	10	822	Oct 13, 2010 by shelley_74
	new here and desperately need your help!! (Preview) hi my names shelley im 36 and my mother is an alcoholic and has been for as long as i can remember, the past few months have been very very difficult for all those close to her, a few short weeks ago she was very ill, all though to speak to her, it was nothing!... she couldnt walk her feet were so swollen, she wa...	shelley_74	8	784	Oct 13, 2010 by shelley_74
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.