Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I'm pretty sure my wife hasn't been drinking for the last few days, but I honestly don't know (and I'm happy to say that, as that means I've been succesful in detaching, i.e., I'm not searching her purse, the house, her phone, etc.). But the last few days have been horrible. I've come home to find her just...

jettiesgirl · jettiesgirl

So, this is something I haven't really seen addressed here, but which is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress. I have kicked ABF out, b/c I cannot tolerate the lying and drinking, and the emotional abuse that comes with it. I also will not allow the craziness in my daughter's life. She should not have to...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM OUT OF SURGERY & ALMOST OUT OF MY MIND! NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVEN'T BEEN TO TOO MANY MEETINGS LATELY--ON THE PHONE A LOT! MY BODY IS SORE IN THE RIGHT PLACES I GUESS--IT IS HARD TO TYPE BUT I WILL DO MY BEST! THE SURGERY WAS 4 HRS. LONG--CAN'T LIFT MY ARMS VERY HIGH EITHER. BUT, I CAN TYPE WHAT I AM THINKIN...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

deal with thoughts that consume your mind about your A drinking? My AH told me yesterday that he wasn't going to drink anymore because he realized that due to me going to alanon, that he does have a problem with alcohol and was spiraling out of control. I know that I need to look past his words and watch h...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Shimo Happy Birthday :) May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Blessings !

Shawnn_ · Shawnn_

hello all I'm dealing with an alcoholic father. I'm 21 years old and have been coping with him my whole life. My father lost his job about ,2 years ago and found himseld in a severe state of depression. Lately all he does is drink and sleep. It's hard to be around him the slightest things set him off into a ra...

Suzannah · Suzannah

On the 28th September 2010 I reached the summit of Ben Nevis in Scotland - it just happens to be the highest mountain in the British Isles. (4,406ft) MINUS 71 degrees with winds gusting up to 50mph. I crept up that mountain like a snail with the aid of poles and I came down it like a crab - sideways steps be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I AM HAVING TROUBLE WAITING FOR THINGS TO GET BACK TO NORMAL--WAITING FOR THINGS IN GENERAL REALLY! IT KINDA MAKES ME DEPRESSED BUT ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME. I JUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN PRAYER & KEEP READING MY ALANON MEDITATION BOOKS--A BLESSING IN DISGUISE--DIDN'T DO IT HARDLY BEFO...

cristin · cristin

Hi everyone. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but my mom and I will be attending one on Tuesday. I'm hoping it will give us a new perspective. My brother is an alcoholic. He's 20 years old, started drinking when he was 14. He has ALWAYS had a behavior problem when he drinks, but over the years it...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Let me ask this about dealing with certain behaviors. My AH had a bad day at work, feels like the world is against him, gripes about how he can't do another day at his job, and gets depressed very easily. He hasn't had a drink as far as I can tell. He sits on the couch looking like he's stewing about somethi...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

My very sharp and pain in the butt therapist (I joke about that of course, she's just helping me identify things that I have to work on) has brought up a topic that I need to examine and thought I'd see what some of you have experienced. My social relationships are somewhat impaired. While I'm a good pers...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

Today is a new day! I am so grateful to be here on this planet still. A year ago at this time, I was so suicidal that my doctor placed me in a psychiatric hospital. I was so very sick. I am so glad that I didn't do that unthinkable thing. I am working with a sponsor now and have seen that surrendering to HP i...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Good morning family, My recent victory was one to work at and work at it I did. No slacking, no finding excuses, no self doubt. I dug deep and found the resolve and belief in me for myself. Having CHANGED my doubt into BELIEF made all the difference. If you think you cann't you WON'T. If you think you can...

Megthompson · Megthompson

hi my name is meg. i am 43 years old. have been married for 21 years to alcoholic in denial. i didn't realise he was an alcoholic till recently (lol!!!_)been living with my 3 children since feb 2010. they are aged 23, 19 and 17. my son has had a drinking problem for quite some years (23 year old) and 19 year ol...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am slowly getting out & about although I actually overdid it yesterday--a week is too soon I guess. My body is sore but at least I had a chance to get out & visit you all! I will keep in touch & let you know when I am at full force! Take care all! Kathleen

Meleddy · Meleddy

Good Morning: I went to my first al-anon meeting last night. I took a lot away from the meeting. my mom is an alcoholic for well over 20 years now. She has attempted suicide twice that I know of, the last of which was Labor day weekend. We gave her options this last time, get sober, stay sober, go to meeti...

Diva · Diva

Perhaps when things are going well, some of us tend to move away from MIP. I am afraid I have been one who has done just that. "A" companion has been sober for several months now. Not a single slip in 7 or 8 months. While I am happy for that, I am also aware that his bingeing may well continue, n...

member922 · member922

Ok, so I am taking steps to get to a meeting. The issue for me is, am I allowed to go to a closed meeting? That seems to be the only time that will work for me. Can anyone explain the differences? Thanks!

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Right now I'm anxiously waiting for my copy of Getting Them Sober to arrive but that won't be here for another week to 10 days. But really, I feel like I am always waiting for my AH to do something. If he goes to the store I am watching the driveway for him to return because I'm already anticipating the alc...

Jozie · Jozie

Here I sit, Once more, with Tears Streaming down my face for yet another loss to this disease, my step sis & bro, have just lost their Afather this morning... I just got the call from my step mom, I yet again, find myself Helpless, Upset, and PISSED... This man was like many with this disease, Kind hea...

DreamXL · DreamXL

Friend of mine that I used to be very close with that I have drifted apart from the last 2 years called me yesterday. Once I got in recovery to be honest I just didnt have that much in common with her anymore. We were like sisters close. And being judgemental (admits) when she moved an active alcholic...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

Obviously program must be helping. Getting positive feedback and ESH from everyone has to help. I've been reading websites about self love and happiness research (plus articles I find). I find that constantly reading about this helps it to sink in. I've also been thinking about why I should tr...

kitty · kitty

(finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- -- Message board post 10-14-2010 This wasnt something that was easy for me find or see, at all. I hated and loathed myself, I was very self destructive in all of my relationships. most especially the one including, just me. I called myself the worst names...

kimmy1975 · kimmy1975

Last night I went to a group therapy session for depression. When I left, AH was perfectly fine. He told me he would see me soon, and that he loved me. When I got home, it was a whole different story. He seemed really upset with me by the look on his face. When I first got home, I asked where our 7 year old s...

snodebb · snodebb

Ok so the last 5 days were good. Tonight I come home from work and he had been drinking. He's not hiding it anymore sitting right out on the patio with his beer. I handled it pretty good just acted like nothing was different and went about my business was feeling proud. As the evening went hot he got anno...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

As I posted yesterday, I'm very new to Al Anon--I've only attended one meeting. My wife has been in AA for a few months but has had a few relapses as well, including this week. In looking at the literature that I received at the Al Anon meeting, it stressed that the alcoholic is suffering from an illness o...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

this seems to be a key to my recovery...If I can love myself.....well...then all things are possible....I was wondering how all of you do it.

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I'm still very new to Al Anon but between what I've read on this board, what I've heard in the meetings, and a conversation I had with our marriage counselor (who is also a drug/alcohol counselor and also active in AA as an alcoholic), I feel like I am really starting to get this. First, I posted las...

kitty · kitty

I now know that what it takes to change and find health and discovery recovery and ourselves in this program, is willingness. Willingness more than anything else, will offer you the opportunity to let go of what no longer works for you, all of the patterns, cycles and habits that allow you to validate t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

What I'm wondering is if the program will encourage me to love unconditionally again. I feel so hurt and frustrated. My dh doesn't just have the alcohol issues but he also suffers from depression, and has an undiagnosed personality disorder. You can throw in the ADHD as an adult and I've got quite a...

Jerry F · Jerry F

I'm gonna leave my house and drive 90 something miles to the other side of the island to attend a meeting by a group of people in position in Kona. I'm going because I have ESH to carry there regarding the subject...Drunk Driving...alcohol etc... I'm gonna listen mostly because I am anxious and appre...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I've posted on here over the past few months about how my dh was sober for 15 years and how I allowed us to start drinking wine, not realizing it would lead to him hiding and drinking gin and drinking while traveling for work, etc. Anyway, I started counseling but can't find a meeting that works with our sc...

shelley_74 · shelley_74

i joined here yesterday after having a terrible row with my alcoholic mother in the morning...i was at my wits end with her after finding another another wine bottle, she was very ill only a few short weeks ago where we thought that was it, her time was up! she's slightly better now and can walk again but h...

member922 · member922

So I just discovered this board and I mentioned it to my therapist, who thought it was a good idea for me. She strongly suggested that I attend a meeting. Am I really a candidate for a meeting? Or am I just whining that somebody isn't who I want them to be? I'm a little nervous about this, probably most pe...

hannahnicoleee12 · hannahnicoleee12

My dad has drank for as long as I've known . Sometimes my life feels like nothing will ever be better . My mom goes to meetings and my dad always convinces us, nothing is wrong, he's fine. When my mom confronts him when she smells the beer on him or we can just tell he's been drinking, of course he lies . I have t...

Jerry F · Jerry F

And I turned it all over and came on home. My little 87 Mazda cab+ pickup and me. Boy does that little bugger love to run and it brought me home in one piece...tired. The DUI symposium had some good people on panel. I knew some and then face to face with others I had only corresponded with by email or phone....

sunshinemama · sunshinemama

Okay. My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic. I have two children ages 6 and 9. I grew up with an alcoholic father and still bear the emotional scars from it. I vowed never to raise children in that environment yet here I am. I have been reading on this site for a little while now and and am amazed by the s...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

I got a letter from my brother this weekend. I'm very frustrated about some of the things he said. 1) He's blaming his behavior on medication, NOT alcohol. He said when you mix it with alcohol, its a double whammy, but never directly says alcohol was the problem. 2) Says that my dad and me need to watch wha...

Karilynn · Karilynn

((((Family)))), The world has been watching as the 32 Chilean miners have been brought to the surface alive after 69 days underneath the earth. This situation has got me thinking. These men and their families never gave up. They have demonstrated faith, courage and perserverance in some of the har...

lyndebi · lyndebi

I wake up to my one white silkie rooster, Jesse, I decided to keep, crowing his head off at my bedroom slider door.....Barlow my turkey is answering him of course from the barnyard... Hard to awake from my soft cozy warm bed with 5 little dogs all around me, my black poodle Happy under the covers. Tavish...

ascjmum · ascjmum

Hi all, I came here over a year ago but didnt post anything or chat, I just came to read. Today I am here because I just need reasuring that I am not being selfish - I have been married for just over 15 years and have 4 children - 14,12,8 and 4 all from my AH He is in total denial that he has a drinking problem altho...

buick23 · buick23

I have told my daugther about this slogan a week ago when she was faced with having to talk to someone and she was worried and nervous. She said what he meant, meant what she said, and she didn't say it mean and the conversation turned out ok. It's great being able to pass on what I learn here to my child. buic...

shelley_74 · shelley_74

hi my names shelley im 36 and my mother is an alcoholic and has been for as long as i can remember, the past few months have been very very difficult for all those close to her, a few short weeks ago she was very ill, all though to speak to her, it was nothing!... she couldnt walk her feet were so swollen, she wa...

sunflowergirl · sunflowergirl

I was reading old posts from March, one that stuck out was by DreamXL, something about "why we love who we do." There someone named Xter posted this from their brother: "we were raised this way - we can't stand being alone for a second so we take whatever's right in front of us" T...

SteppingUp · SteppingUp

I'm new here so if this is inappropriate please feel free to delete it. I'm new to Al-Anon, setting boundaries and pretty much everything else. It makes me feel more secure knowing that there are people out there who care and meetings that I can go to. I'm an iPhone user and came across an app that basical...

snodebb · snodebb

Our family had a great weekend. AH has been sober for about 5 days now. He is always sober on the weekends it is weird. We skipped church this Sunday been haveing some issues with a couple of people trying to butt into our lives. We've been going to that church for 15yrs and everyone knows about AH and...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Good stuff: have not bitten anyone's head off yet, am happy, am sleeping, am eating, am getting A's, my moostiff is amazing, my priorities due to limited time are showing themselves to me every day, manage to get MIP to at least read more often than i thought Not so good stuff: am grouc...

AlaMom · AlaMom

This program offers no promises of serenity unless we are willing to do the legwork to help ourselves. By putting the focus on ourselves and our needs we begin to find peace and serenity within our lives. We gain confidence in our abilities and learn to believe we are worthy of good things in our lives...

oklahoma momof5 · oklahoma momof5

For the first time I think my alcoholic fiance might have hit a low point. I had to send him away Sunday night and he woke up on the floor of his mid-renovation house. Missed work for the first time that I know of. Also for the first time, he apologized for his drinking, agreed it was not healthy for my fam...

Lizz · Lizz

I really dont know what the hell is wrong with me. My ABF and I split up about 3 months ago. The relationship had started to become violent and he had hit me on 3 separate occasions. The first time this happened we had argued over his x girlfriend and he was smashed and was very remorseful, we separated f...

Bettina · Bettina

For those of you who might be interested, this topic has to do with Parental Abduction, which 200,000. children are abducted by one of their parents in this country every year. As you have heard me mention from time to time. This happened to me way back in 1974 when my daughter was 6. Didnt find her unti...

Ginger90 · Ginger90

my will. I am trying very hard to let go with my 18yo daughter, but it is a daily struggle. I just invited her to attend a show with her brother and I and she gladly accepted but my crazy mind can't just leave it at that. Now I am trying to figure out how to make/help her see that she wants to be at home with us, n...

kerry5 · kerry5

Grateful on this thanksgiving weekend to be aware, . I do know the phrase : you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. . Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one a...

member922 · member922

Hi. I was very excited to find this board as a friend had advised me of the alanon program. My issues are with my current bf. I have been with him almost 2 yrs and actually got divorced because of him (a good thing though, I wasn't happy). The first yr I was with him, I wasn't with him much at all because I wa...

kath · kath

Today was most certainly a chance to practice even more because I have had contact with my AH today. Please help me with something. I am experiencing great sadness. After seeing him act out all the behaviors of an A, I know it is true that he has a problem. It just feels like someone just called and told me h...

applecake · applecake

I'll try to make this to the point: money is T-I-G-H-T lately. Like, no wiggle room to begin with, and then we had a big car repair and now there's *really* no room. So about a week ago, AH & I sat down and figured out how much we had, to make it to this friday. It was less than $100. A week + 2 days, less t...

stopandchat · stopandchat

Hi Everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and how they handled it. I've been in recovery and working my program for a little over a year. I have a friend who I've known since 3rd grade (I'm 37 yrs old), and we've been close for all of these years. I have found that, since I've been...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

I've not been feeling so depressed lately. Not happy mind you, although there have been some snippets of happy time here and there. But the absence of pain and depression is a blessing itself. I still feel frustrated at my recovery not speeding up (I know there's nothing I can do about it though, just...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Hi all, I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, just genuinely wondering as I am new to Al Anon. Is the idea that I'm supposed to not care if my wife has been drinking? Meaning should I not be trying to find out if she has? She just got back from grocery shopping, and she was in somewhat of a foul mood when she left...bu...

teddybear · teddybear

Hello to all my old friends, and new ones too! Maybe some of the people who have been posting their comments for a long time.... remember me?? Life is not simple.... though I am trying to see the events that are going on with my sons as answers for them. Maybe they need to start choosing better partners?...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	What if they aren't drunk, but acting badly...? (Preview) I'm pretty sure my wife hasn't been drinking for the last few days, but I honestly don't know (and I'm happy to say that, as that means I've been succesful in detaching, i.e., I'm not searching her purse, the house, her phone, etc.). But the last few days have been horrible. I've come home to find her just...	usedtobeanyer	6	927	Oct 17, 2010 by xeno59
	Dealing with others' judgment and expectations (Preview) So, this is something I haven't really seen addressed here, but which is causing me a lot of anxiety and stress. I have kicked ABF out, b/c I cannot tolerate the lying and drinking, and the emotional abuse that comes with it. I also will not allow the craziness in my daughter's life. She should not have to...	jettiesgirl	8	581	Oct 17, 2010 by xeno59
	surgery went well...now onto recovery! (Preview) I AM OUT OF SURGERY & ALMOST OUT OF MY MIND! NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAVEN'T BEEN TO TOO MANY MEETINGS LATELY--ON THE PHONE A LOT! MY BODY IS SORE IN THE RIGHT PLACES I GUESS--IT IS HARD TO TYPE BUT I WILL DO MY BEST! THE SURGERY WAS 4 HRS. LONG--CAN'T LIFT MY ARMS VERY HIGH EITHER. BUT, I CAN TYPE WHAT I AM THINKIN...	Hoot Nanny	9	756	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	How do you..... (Preview) deal with thoughts that consume your mind about your A drinking? My AH told me yesterday that he wasn't going to drink anymore because he realized that due to me going to alanon, that he does have a problem with alcohol and was spiraling out of control. I know that I need to look past his words and watch h...	kimmy1975	7	442	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	(((SHIMO)))) Happy Birthday ! (Preview) Shimo Happy Birthday :) May all your dreams come true in Extra Large :) Blessings !	DreamXL	6	1860	Oct 17, 2010 by Karilynn
	Can't sleep father is drunk (Preview) hello all I'm dealing with an alcoholic father. I'm 21 years old and have been coping with him my whole life. My father lost his job about ,2 years ago and found himseld in a severe state of depression. Lately all he does is drink and sleep. It's hard to be around him the slightest things set him off into a ra...	Shawnn_	4	650	Oct 16, 2010 by Rocky38
	Rise above worry - and gain the power you richly deserve to gain victory of adversity. (Preview) On the 28th September 2010 I reached the summit of Ben Nevis in Scotland - it just happens to be the highest mountain in the British Isles. (4,406ft) MINUS 71 degrees with winds gusting up to 50mph. I crept up that mountain like a snail with the aid of poles and I came down it like a crab - sideways steps be...	Suzannah	9	644	Oct 16, 2010 by Ness
	can't wait for things... (Preview) I AM HAVING TROUBLE WAITING FOR THINGS TO GET BACK TO NORMAL--WAITING FOR THINGS IN GENERAL REALLY! IT KINDA MAKES ME DEPRESSED BUT ANXIOUS AT THE SAME TIME. I JUST HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SPEND TIME IN PRAYER & KEEP READING MY ALANON MEDITATION BOOKS--A BLESSING IN DISGUISE--DIDN'T DO IT HARDLY BEFO...	Hoot Nanny	0	480	Oct 16, 2010 by Hoot Nanny
	New here...just need to vent (Preview) Hi everyone. I've never been to an Al-Anon meeting, but my mom and I will be attending one on Tuesday. I'm hoping it will give us a new perspective. My brother is an alcoholic. He's 20 years old, started drinking when he was 14. He has ALWAYS had a behavior problem when he drinks, but over the years it...	cristin	2	691	Oct 16, 2010 by xeno59
	Another question? Yes, I'm bored, LOL! (Preview) Let me ask this about dealing with certain behaviors. My AH had a bad day at work, feels like the world is against him, gripes about how he can't do another day at his job, and gets depressed very easily. He hasn't had a drink as far as I can tell. He sits on the couch looking like he's stewing about somethi...	ilovedogs	5	475	Oct 16, 2010 by Diva
	Another area of life I need to look at. (Preview) My very sharp and pain in the butt therapist (I joke about that of course, she's just helping me identify things that I have to work on) has brought up a topic that I need to examine and thought I'd see what some of you have experienced. My social relationships are somewhat impaired. While I'm a good pers...	mjhyankees	1	362	Oct 16, 2010 by xeno59
	Accepting me for me (Preview) Today is a new day! I am so grateful to be here on this planet still. A year ago at this time, I was so suicidal that my doctor placed me in a psychiatric hospital. I was so very sick. I am so glad that I didn't do that unthinkable thing. I am working with a sponsor now and have seen that surrendering to HP i...	sunflowergirl	9	473	Oct 16, 2010 by Lisa Clark
	I have turned the ruin of me into a strong fortress and I know how to defend my fortress now...so can you. (Preview) Good morning family, My recent victory was one to work at and work at it I did. No slacking, no finding excuses, no self doubt. I dug deep and found the resolve and belief in me for myself. Having CHANGED my doubt into BELIEF made all the difference. If you think you cann't you WON'T. If you think you can...	Suzannah	6	439	Oct 16, 2010 by Loupiness
	some advice would be very welcome (Preview) hi my name is meg. i am 43 years old. have been married for 21 years to alcoholic in denial. i didn't realise he was an alcoholic till recently (lol!!!_)been living with my 3 children since feb 2010. they are aged 23, 19 and 17. my son has had a drinking problem for quite some years (23 year old) and 19 year ol...	Megthompson	10	1099	Oct 16, 2010 by Megthompson
	slowly but surely... (Preview) I am slowly getting out & about although I actually overdid it yesterday--a week is too soon I guess. My body is sore but at least I had a chance to get out & visit you all! I will keep in touch & let you know when I am at full force! Take care all! Kathleen	Hoot Nanny	3	519	Oct 15, 2010 by Jerry F
	New Here... (Preview) Good Morning: I went to my first al-anon meeting last night. I took a lot away from the meeting. my mom is an alcoholic for well over 20 years now. She has attempted suicide twice that I know of, the last of which was Labor day weekend. We gave her options this last time, get sober, stay sober, go to meeti...	Meleddy	6	401	Oct 15, 2010 by abbyal
	I have been missing..... (Preview) Perhaps when things are going well, some of us tend to move away from MIP. I am afraid I have been one who has done just that. "A" companion has been sober for several months now. Not a single slip in 7 or 8 months. While I am happy for that, I am also aware that his bingeing may well continue, n...	Diva	4	482	Oct 15, 2010 by ythannah
	Open vs. Closed Meeting (Preview) Ok, so I am taking steps to get to a meeting. The issue for me is, am I allowed to go to a closed meeting? That seems to be the only time that will work for me. Can anyone explain the differences? Thanks!	member922	2	4326	Oct 15, 2010 by canadianguy
	I feel like I'm always waiting... (Preview) Right now I'm anxiously waiting for my copy of Getting Them Sober to arrive but that won't be here for another week to 10 days. But really, I feel like I am always waiting for my AH to do something. If he goes to the store I am watching the driveway for him to return because I'm already anticipating the alc...	sunshinemama	5	585	Oct 15, 2010 by Bettina
	Alcohol Strikes AGAIN... (Preview) Here I sit, Once more, with Tears Streaming down my face for yet another loss to this disease, my step sis & bro, have just lost their Afather this morning... I just got the call from my step mom, I yet again, find myself Helpless, Upset, and PISSED... This man was like many with this disease, Kind hea...	Jozie	7	818	Oct 15, 2010 by DreamXL
	shocked sheesh (Preview) Friend of mine that I used to be very close with that I have drifted apart from the last 2 years called me yesterday. Once I got in recovery to be honest I just didnt have that much in common with her anymore. We were like sisters close. And being judgemental (admits) when she moved an active alcholic...	DreamXL	5	425	Oct 15, 2010 by DreamXL
	Progress...but not sure totally how..... (Preview) Obviously program must be helping. Getting positive feedback and ESH from everyone has to help. I've been reading websites about self love and happiness research (plus articles I find). I find that constantly reading about this helps it to sink in. I've also been thinking about why I should tr...	mjhyankees	5	785	Oct 14, 2010 by ythannah
	(finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- (Preview) (finding)... the Willingness to Love -me- -- Message board post 10-14-2010 This wasnt something that was easy for me find or see, at all. I hated and loathed myself, I was very self destructive in all of my relationships. most especially the one including, just me. I called myself the worst names...	kitty	5	759	Oct 14, 2010 by ythannah
	AH is angry with me (Preview) Last night I went to a group therapy session for depression. When I left, AH was perfectly fine. He told me he would see me soon, and that he loved me. When I got home, it was a whole different story. He seemed really upset with me by the look on his face. When I first got home, I asked where our 7 year old s...	kimmy1975	11	533	Oct 14, 2010 by Christy
	Told him to pack his bags and leave if he didnt like it!!! (Preview) Ok so the last 5 days were good. Tonight I come home from work and he had been drinking. He's not hiding it anymore sitting right out on the patio with his beer. I handled it pretty good just acted like nothing was different and went about my business was feeling proud. As the evening went hot he got anno...	snodebb	3	371	Oct 14, 2010 by snodebb
	Having a hard time with the whole "illness/disease" concept (Preview) As I posted yesterday, I'm very new to Al Anon--I've only attended one meeting. My wife has been in AA for a few months but has had a few relapses as well, including this week. In looking at the literature that I received at the Al Anon meeting, it stressed that the alcoholic is suffering from an illness o...	usedtobeanyer	18	1421	Oct 14, 2010 by Dyinginside
	How do you love yourself.... (Preview) this seems to be a key to my recovery...If I can love myself.....well...then all things are possible....I was wondering how all of you do it.	mjhyankees	10	2011	Oct 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Really, really, really starting to get this... (Preview) Hi all, I'm still very new to Al Anon but between what I've read on this board, what I've heard in the meetings, and a conversation I had with our marriage counselor (who is also a drug/alcohol counselor and also active in AA as an alcoholic), I feel like I am really starting to get this. First, I posted las...	usedtobeanyer	11	806	Oct 14, 2010 by xeno59
	Changing and Recovery (Preview) I now know that what it takes to change and find health and discovery recovery and ourselves in this program, is willingness. Willingness more than anything else, will offer you the opportunity to let go of what no longer works for you, all of the patterns, cycles and habits that allow you to validate t...	kitty	2	634	Oct 14, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	General question about loving an A spouse (Preview) What I'm wondering is if the program will encourage me to love unconditionally again. I feel so hurt and frustrated. My dh doesn't just have the alcohol issues but he also suffers from depression, and has an undiagnosed personality disorder. You can throw in the ADHD as an adult and I've got quite a...	ilovedogs	8	1037	Oct 14, 2010 by hotrod
	So here's what I'm gonna do in a few minutes. (Preview) I'm gonna leave my house and drive 90 something miles to the other side of the island to attend a meeting by a group of people in position in Kona. I'm going because I have ESH to carry there regarding the subject...Drunk Driving...alcohol etc... I'm gonna listen mostly because I am anxious and appre...	Jerry F	14	830	Oct 14, 2010 by member922
	H is trying to tell me he's not an alcoholic (Preview) I've posted on here over the past few months about how my dh was sober for 15 years and how I allowed us to start drinking wine, not realizing it would lead to him hiding and drinking gin and drinking while traveling for work, etc. Anyway, I started counseling but can't find a meeting that works with our sc...	ilovedogs	6	858	Oct 14, 2010 by Bettina
	i feel guilty now (Preview) i joined here yesterday after having a terrible row with my alcoholic mother in the morning...i was at my wits end with her after finding another another wine bottle, she was very ill only a few short weeks ago where we thought that was it, her time was up! she's slightly better now and can walk again but h...	shelley_74	9	439	Oct 14, 2010 by shelley_74
	Attending a meeting?? (Preview) So I just discovered this board and I mentioned it to my therapist, who thought it was a good idea for me. She strongly suggested that I attend a meeting. Am I really a candidate for a meeting? Or am I just whining that somebody isn't who I want them to be? I'm a little nervous about this, probably most pe...	member922	6	464	Oct 13, 2010 by Aloha
	I don't know what to do anymore (Preview) My dad has drank for as long as I've known . Sometimes my life feels like nothing will ever be better . My mom goes to meetings and my dad always convinces us, nothing is wrong, he's fine. When my mom confronts him when she smells the beer on him or we can just tell he's been drinking, of course he lies . I have t...	hannahnicoleee12	7	1090	Oct 13, 2010 by abbyal
	We did good!! (Preview) And I turned it all over and came on home. My little 87 Mazda cab+ pickup and me. Boy does that little bugger love to run and it brought me home in one piece...tired. The DUI symposium had some good people on panel. I knew some and then face to face with others I had only corresponded with by email or phone....	Jerry F	6	709	Oct 13, 2010 by RLC
	Here's my story... (Preview) Okay. My husband of 11 years is an alcoholic. I have two children ages 6 and 9. I grew up with an alcoholic father and still bear the emotional scars from it. I vowed never to raise children in that environment yet here I am. I have been reading on this site for a little while now and and am amazed by the s...	sunshinemama	5	397	Oct 13, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	Frustrated (Preview) I got a letter from my brother this weekend. I'm very frustrated about some of the things he said. 1) He's blaming his behavior on medication, NOT alcohol. He said when you mix it with alcohol, its a double whammy, but never directly says alcohol was the problem. 2) Says that my dad and me need to watch wha...	NCSUgeology	11	754	Oct 13, 2010 by NCSUgeology
	Miner miracles (Preview) ((((Family)))), The world has been watching as the 32 Chilean miners have been brought to the surface alive after 69 days underneath the earth. This situation has got me thinking. These men and their families never gave up. They have demonstrated faith, courage and perserverance in some of the har...	Karilynn	3	710	Oct 13, 2010 by Jerry F
	October Eden Update (Preview) I wake up to my one white silkie rooster, Jesse, I decided to keep, crowing his head off at my bedroom slider door.....Barlow my turkey is answering him of course from the barnyard... Hard to awake from my soft cozy warm bed with 5 little dogs all around me, my black poodle Happy under the covers. Tavish...	lyndebi	4	480	Oct 13, 2010 by ythannah
	it's all about me (Preview) Hi all, I came here over a year ago but didnt post anything or chat, I just came to read. Today I am here because I just need reasuring that I am not being selfish - I have been married for just over 15 years and have 4 children - 14,12,8 and 4 all from my AH He is in total denial that he has a drinking problem altho...	ascjmum	8	519	Oct 13, 2010 by ascjmum
	say what u mean, mean what u say, and don't say it mean (Preview) I have told my daugther about this slogan a week ago when she was faced with having to talk to someone and she was worried and nervous. She said what he meant, meant what she said, and she didn't say it mean and the conversation turned out ok. It's great being able to pass on what I learn here to my child. buic...	buick23	10	786	Oct 13, 2010 by shelley_74
	new here and desperately need your help!! (Preview) hi my names shelley im 36 and my mother is an alcoholic and has been for as long as i can remember, the past few months have been very very difficult for all those close to her, a few short weeks ago she was very ill, all though to speak to her, it was nothing!... she couldnt walk her feet were so swollen, she wa...	shelley_74	8	750	Oct 13, 2010 by shelley_74
	How to love me... (Preview) I was reading old posts from March, one that stuck out was by DreamXL, something about "why we love who we do." There someone named Xter posted this from their brother: "we were raised this way - we can't stand being alone for a second so we take whatever's right in front of us" T...	sunflowergirl	10	694	Oct 13, 2010 by sunflowergirl
	There's an app for us... (Preview) I'm new here so if this is inappropriate please feel free to delete it. I'm new to Al-Anon, setting boundaries and pretty much everything else. It makes me feel more secure knowing that there are people out there who care and meetings that I can go to. I'm an iPhone user and came across an app that basical...	SteppingUp	5	5319	Oct 12, 2010 by blender_girl
	Checking in and all is good (Preview) Our family had a great weekend. AH has been sober for about 5 days now. He is always sober on the weekends it is weird. We skipped church this Sunday been haveing some issues with a couple of people trying to butt into our lives. We've been going to that church for 15yrs and everyone knows about AH and...	snodebb	2	652	Oct 12, 2010 by snodebb
	Checking In (Preview) Hello everyone, Good stuff: have not bitten anyone's head off yet, am happy, am sleeping, am eating, am getting A's, my moostiff is amazing, my priorities due to limited time are showing themselves to me every day, manage to get MIP to at least read more often than i thought Not so good stuff: am grouc...	Jennifer	2	625	Oct 12, 2010 by Jennifer
	Rewards of doing the legwork (Preview) This program offers no promises of serenity unless we are willing to do the legwork to help ourselves. By putting the focus on ourselves and our needs we begin to find peace and serenity within our lives. We gain confidence in our abilities and learn to believe we are worthy of good things in our lives...	AlaMom	10	888	Oct 12, 2010 by srose
	When an alcoholic first decides to stop drinking, what do you say to support him? (Preview) For the first time I think my alcoholic fiance might have hit a low point. I had to send him away Sunday night and he woke up on the floor of his mid-renovation house. Missed work for the first time that I know of. Also for the first time, he apologized for his drinking, agreed it was not healthy for my fam...	oklahoma momof5	12	852	Oct 12, 2010 by lyndebi
	What the hell is wrong with me? (Preview) I really dont know what the hell is wrong with me. My ABF and I split up about 3 months ago. The relationship had started to become violent and he had hit me on 3 separate occasions. The first time this happened we had argued over his x girlfriend and he was smashed and was very remorseful, we separated f...	Lizz	5	650	Oct 12, 2010 by xeno59
	off topic, but stuff of Life.... (Preview) For those of you who might be interested, this topic has to do with Parental Abduction, which 200,000. children are abducted by one of their parents in this country every year. As you have heard me mention from time to time. This happened to me way back in 1974 when my daughter was 6. Didnt find her unti...	Bettina	4	479	Oct 12, 2010 by White Rabbit
	Still Hanging onto... (Preview) my will. I am trying very hard to let go with my 18yo daughter, but it is a daily struggle. I just invited her to attend a show with her brother and I and she gladly accepted but my crazy mind can't just leave it at that. Now I am trying to figure out how to make/help her see that she wants to be at home with us, n...	Ginger90	5	534	Oct 12, 2010 by xeno59
	Program Reminder (Preview) Grateful on this thanksgiving weekend to be aware, . I do know the phrase : you'll discover that though you may not like all of us, you'll love us in a very special way - the same way we already love you. . Talk to each other, reason things out with someone else, but let there be no gossip or criticism of one a...	kerry5	2	590	Oct 12, 2010 by thundermother
	New here and not sure this is where I should be.... (Preview) Hi. I was very excited to find this board as a friend had advised me of the alanon program. My issues are with my current bf. I have been with him almost 2 yrs and actually got divorced because of him (a good thing though, I wasn't happy). The first yr I was with him, I wasn't with him much at all because I wa...	member922	10	1068	Oct 12, 2010 by member922
	a chance to practice practice practice (Preview) Today was most certainly a chance to practice even more because I have had contact with my AH today. Please help me with something. I am experiencing great sadness. After seeing him act out all the behaviors of an A, I know it is true that he has a problem. It just feels like someone just called and told me h...	kath	3	718	Oct 12, 2010 by Jerry F
	what should I do about this? trying to do things "right." (Preview) I'll try to make this to the point: money is T-I-G-H-T lately. Like, no wiggle room to begin with, and then we had a big car repair and now there's really no room. So about a week ago, AH & I sat down and figured out how much we had, to make it to this friday. It was less than $100. A week + 2 days, less t...	applecake	8	466	Oct 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	Growing apart from a long-time friend... (Preview) Hi Everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone else has experienced this, and how they handled it. I've been in recovery and working my program for a little over a year. I have a friend who I've known since 3rd grade (I'm 37 yrs old), and we've been close for all of these years. I have found that, since I've been...	stopandchat	4	838	Oct 11, 2010 by Jennifer
	some frustration, some recovery. (Preview) I've not been feeling so depressed lately. Not happy mind you, although there have been some snippets of happy time here and there. But the absence of pain and depression is a blessing itself. I still feel frustrated at my recovery not speeding up (I know there's nothing I can do about it though, just...	mjhyankees	5	735	Oct 11, 2010 by xeno59
	Am I supposed to not care if she drinks? (Preview) Hi all, I'm not trying to be a wiseguy, just genuinely wondering as I am new to Al Anon. Is the idea that I'm supposed to not care if my wife has been drinking? Meaning should I not be trying to find out if she has? She just got back from grocery shopping, and she was in somewhat of a foul mood when she left...bu...	usedtobeanyer	11	1115	Oct 11, 2010 by xeno59
	enough is enough (Preview) Hello to all my old friends, and new ones too! Maybe some of the people who have been posting their comments for a long time.... remember me?? Life is not simple.... though I am trying to see the events that are going on with my sons as answers for them. Maybe they need to start choosing better partners?...	teddybear	5	469	Oct 11, 2010 by teddybear
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.