Attending a meeting?? - Al-Anon Family Group

member922 · Senior Member

Attending a meeting??

wp · ~*Service Worker*~

Run, do not walk, to your nearest al-anon meeting. :)

It's free, it's anonymous, it's understanding, it's helpful, it can become your lifeline, and there is no commitment whatsoever except to yourself.

wp

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Member

I agree with WP Growing up in an alcoholic home qualifies you for alanon

This really has nothing to do with your BF.

It is all about us--How we minimize issues that are important, How we focus on others and ignore our happiness, how we do not trust our own instincts ,how we fear confrontations and on and on

If you like you can tell your BF you need help in dealing with life. You are going to learn positive tools to enrich your life and develop a positive plan for your growth.

Then go to http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html find a meeting and go

Hope and Help are waiting for youTa

member922 · Senior Member

Thanks wp. Reading stuff like this makes me cry. I thought I was getting my stuff together and then I have this to deal with this. I have made a lot of progress and for that I am thankful, but I'm not quite done with the work, this seems one of the harder parts.

Thanks hotrod. I find that very interesting about the father issue being more relevant. It's true and I never thought about it. I have a lot to learn about this group, but it sounds like something I could benefit from. I do all of those things you mentioned. I want to learn more. I want to be free. Thank you. I have found where and when the groups are held, just need to be available at the right times.

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Do you really need a meeting are you over reacting ? since u took the time to look us up I would yes to the first question NO to the second why would u want someone around u cant trust with your children ..Please find meetings for yourself attend at least 6 or better yet a few months and see how u feel then. Your life has been affected by someone elses drinking and you too need to recover this dosent go away because we leave a relataionship the crap goes with you . take care of you give us a try

member922 · Senior Member

Thanks abbyal. I think you all are right. It is worth a shot and I appreciate the back up and reality check. I need them from time to time. And you are so right about the crap coming with. I've been living it.

Aloha · ~*Service Worker*~

I am so glad to see your continued interest in getting healthier and in Al-Anon meetings.

YES - you are more than welcome to drop by an Al-Anon meeting. In fact, we usually suggest you try at least six meetings as close together as possible before you make a final decision on whether Al-Anon is for you or not.

Living with alcoholism continually had me second-guessing myself, too. I'd always think maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion. I really didn't know how to trust my intuition. I'd snoop to validate my suspicions, which really wasn't healthy behavior for myself. When my suspicions were confirmed, I'd feel even more miserable.

I'm finally learning to trust my intuition. I try to remind myself if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck and walks like a duck... it's a duck! So if I feel like I'm being lied to, and the person is acting suspiciously... then YES. I'm being lied to. If a person appears to have a difficult time controlling their drinking or can't seem to go a day without smoking pot, then YES, they definitely have a substance abuse problem.

As far as discussing the alcoholic's problems with the A... well, I've really learned the disease does not like to hear about itself. It'll throw up every defensive tactic it can find to preserve itself.

I learned to be very careful about discussing my feelings with my exAH. I had be be conscious that whatever I shared with him that I had no expectations for understanding or changed behaviors on his part.

Communication with an addict/alcoholic is extremely tough. I only had rare, small windows of time where it was safe to be real with him and actually carry on a serious, adult discussion. The rest of the time, I was dealing with the disease, and nothing constructive ever came about from those discussions.

Hope you can get yourself to some meetings. It's such a breath of fresh air to interact with people who are trying to be healthy, and people who understand what it is you're going through.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.