Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

as anybody experienced the silent treatment? is it a "normal" behavior for an alcoholic? some days the AH talks non stop about Tv shows (yay!) and some days its complete silence. if i try to talk about hockey (big sport in canada) or kid or anything that might interest him i get silence. at f...

member922 · member922

I am planning on a wonderful weekend. My "whatever" back and forth A will spend a little time together. I am going to take some time to myself rather than waste it getting irritated with him and his behavior. I will spend half with him and half on my own. Guess we are trying for the millionth t...

Otie · Otie

Thanks Debilyn for the pictures of your sweet animals. I look forward to seeing them. My days have been so difficult lately---and just seeing them reconnects me to my soul for a brief moment. Gratefully, Otie.

Aloha · Aloha

Me and my really long posts again... My HP really, REALLY wanted me to somehow, some way, get involved with the Big Island Bash this year - it's an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. The local AA district primarily puts this on and Al-Anon members volunteer to help out. We've known the Bash was c...

roonpugs · roonpugs

Hi All, So it has been just over two weeks since my AH or do I call him my RAH stopped drinking. He said he's going to try it for awhile and see if it makes a difference in how he feels etc. I just wanted to get some feedback on what other's have experienced when their alcoholic was quitting or attempting reco...

member922 · member922

So I decided to spend this evening at home alone. I just got home and called the A after work. Guess what?? Ugh, he sounded stoned stoned stoned! I am so glad that I stuck to my guns and stayed home instead of dealing with that crap firsthand. Now I am hesitant to go over there tomorrow. I CANNOT stand t...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

My crazies. They are starting to kick in. I'm writing this out so I can see on the computer screen which is the least crazy option and maybe get some ESH from others. My gut is screaming that my AH is lying, lying, lying. My gut knows AH is planning either to hook up with his affair partner or to hide out an...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Sometimes you just feel so broken. You give EVERYTHING to something that falls apart and find yourself standing in the ruins trying to understand what went wrong. Functional Alcoholic. I think that is why so many of us end up in the mess we are in because at first we think the problems are normal couple p...

Debilyn · Debilyn

BORED!! I am freaking bored. sigh. I didn't even allow my kids or students to say that word! I have sat here as long as I can. Been reading a ton, that's cool. Everything that can be ready is. Pouring rain or I would do out and take my gliders apart.I love GREEN Oregon. This is crazy, a lot of you are in such tu...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha Family...just dropping off the address to the new Al-Anon e-site. My wife and I were scanning it today and it is much more up-beat. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Give it a gander. In support (((hugs)))

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all, went to a great meeting tonight. Met a lot of new people which is always inspiring. It is a step meeting, and although I am still working on the first few steps, the group discussed step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I got t...

Samsgram · Samsgram

I really don`t know how to condense this but I will try. I also don`t mean to be throwing everyone in the mental health field under the bus so to speak but this has been predominately my experience. My grandaughter who is now 7 had been in my custody when she was about 3. Her dad who had just gotten out of pris...

mle612 · mle612

I started writing my story last night, but got too emotional to finish. I could write a book and I am only 5 months into my relationship. My fiance told me pretty much up front that he was a recovering A. I could live with someone in recovery...we all have our baggage. We would go out and he would drink a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://community.webshots.com/user/gypsygma Everyone of these babies were so loved. Even if they came in trying to kill us, and some did!But every single one, learned they were loved and safe and found a home. They turned so sweet. We only lost them to age, or they were too abused to live much longer...

Aimee · Aimee

Last night my RAH was out of town for work and he called me at night to go on and on about how awful his day was, he hates his job, he lost a big sale, blah, blah, blah. And then something different happened! Instead of joining him in his rotten mood, I continued to have a lovely night, watched Real Housewives...

lizzakiss · lizzakiss

I don't know what to do, think or feel. I have been with my Abf for almost three years. In that time, he has never taken a drink. he has been "sober" for 8 years. Or the more appropriate term, dry. He doesn't work his program so I've learned he's not truly sober. Through alanon I've learne...

lostinDC · lostinDC

I am new to this website (and group). I have spent the last few days reading alot of the old posts. WOW! I never thought I was completely alone, but I never thought that I would hear so many things that were almost exact to my situation. Thanks to everyone for sharing. My story in a nutshell: I met my AH o...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

As some of you know, I've begun to attend meetings and benefiting greatly. Kinda weird last night - my sister, who is a recovering A for 30+ years, went with me. We've never, ever been close! This was the first thing we've ever done together - just the 2 of us. The "Little Jewel I'm referring to is t...

Evian · Evian

My morning today was awesome! Talked with a really good friend of mine... she is always so hard to get a hold of.. and found out that I'm eligible for Gov't funding to go back to school... YAY!!! Then 1pm hits, knock at the door. It was the CAS worker, serving me with court papers.. looks like we are going to...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Maybe how we were brought up has a lot to do with accepting we cannot control an A or anyone else? I grew up not hearing the word should much. We innately knew the rules. No one told us not to drink, not to smoke, not to do drugs etc. My brothers, and I, dressed clean and nice, did not party, we had lots of fun, bu...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

So, I was so proud of myself-I did not contact my exabf on his birthday. Today, a friend of mine tells me, she saw him out with some girl..I really didn't want to know, but she tells me what the girl looked like. I know I shouldn't have, but I did some online sleuthing and found out, yes, he's been hanging out...

parfait624 · parfait624

So I have read in books, heard in meetings, and seen it on this board that most addicts want sex and do all sorts of things to get it. However I am curious because I have the opposite problem with my exabf. The reason I am asking is because we are going to be getting together in a week and a half to talk about s...

gladysg · gladysg

I am working hard on not verbally bashing my husband. I do not do it intentionally, but sometimes even the truth sounds so bad that I cant seem to sugar coat it to make sense. I wish I had some 1-liners to make it sound better or get out of providing an answer. This situation is gettign to the point that peop...

chastine · chastine

My husband Joshua and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. Before we got married he had just started recovery and he was doing really well. We had delt with all our issues about him lying to me about drinking and all the hurtful things that went along with his drinking. We were GREAT. We got married when I w...

DreamsOver · DreamsOver

My adult addicted son has been showing all the signs of reverting back to using again. I have been holding my breath since his rehab last Oct. hoping for a good out come, but last evening he came over to my house, very hostile when asked any questions, was not clean, eyes not clear. My heart has been poundi...

HopefulMom · HopefulMom

Hello, I am new to this life. The world of self love. I have been abused my whole life. I am a divorced mom of 3. I am currently working on finding myself. Setting bounderies, and learning what makes me happy in life. I took care of both my parents when I was a child. They were both on drugs, and later...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, just wanted to let you all know i am feeling a lot better today. I reached out to al anon memebers and the support i recieved fro this site and memebers of my group pulled me through a difficult time again. As per usual there was a lesson within the pain from my Hp in fact more than one. Firstl...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi. I just wanted to share my experiences over the past couple weeks hoping it will help someone and maybe get some feedback from others who have been there. After 2 months of working the steps with his amazing sponsor I discovered that my AH cheated on me twice during his relapse this past winter. This t...

carolinagirl · carolinagirl

Well today is my last day at work before being laid off. Been here five years. Everyone think good thoughts for me :)

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Last week AH was in hospital (again!) with suspected internal bleeding. A blood transfusion, anti-withdrawal drugs and a lot of other care later he was discharged, still very unwell but, hey, this is the NHS (National Health Service: The British Healthcare system) and as soon as you can stand and w...

parfait624 · parfait624

Just looking for some outside input. I seen my exabf at a friends birthday party this weekend. It didn't go to bad he is still sober but is deeper then ever in his gambling addiction. He fully admited being at the casino the previous three nights till the early hours in the morning. Of course he didn't...

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I would love to hear stories of those who are "happily" married to an active alcoholic or at least at peace in the relationship. I feel somewhat at peace now, and have heard that Alanon has created peace for many marriages with alcoholism that is active. I think myself and others would fin...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Hi everyone, here I am feeling fine about living on my own and great about my dettachment. My exAH was dropping off my 2 1/2 year old and he mentioned that there is a court ordered parenting class we have to attend and he wanted me to set it up since I have a more hectic schedule. I said sure no problem. He sa...

Tracy · Tracy

so my A is 7 months sober and really working on himself. we are having a break to concentrate on our recoveries. I am really battling with resentments, its so hard. My A loves me I know this but my needs have have gone unmet for so long. I am meeting my own needs as best I can but I desire a partner who is sup...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I know I've already said it before, but I cant express how grateful I am to have found this site. I have been in this situation before so many times - my Abf calls me or I call him and he's been drinking but completely denies it. I end up staying awake for a long time being really angry at him and thinking about...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

I wanted to let you all know, I took everyone's advice and refrained from sending anything to my ex, or texting him or anything. I have to admit, it was a little hard for me. I kept thinking, he's going to think I hate him...he's not going ot understand why I would ignore his birthday...times when we broke...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Have to vent. ugh My hands are arthritic and sorta numb. The dumb doorknobs in my farm house are cheap. All the fencing is up at the cabin. Yesterday I was preparing for one last trip up to stay at our new home. I didn't get the door shut. All my 6 dogs ran out the door. I freaked, no fence. Great Pyrenees, Newf...

Tracy · Tracy

I have to get away my sober abf is o.k now lots of supprt and I am on my knees he will not even answer the phone after all the times i was there for him. I am in such pain can not eat trying hard yohurts and stuff never slept last night tried to rest mcuh as can. I am havig panic attacks my parent and brother are tr...

Mrs_B · Mrs_B

Hi All, I'm new here so I haven't had the chance to navigate the website much quite yet, but I'll get there. :) While I have never been an active member of Al-Anon, I could have probably began using it since the day I was born. My mother and father are alcoholics/prior drug addicts, and my stepdad is a recov...

Evian · Evian

The kids and I went down to see AH this weekend. After a couple of weeks of feeling lost, lonely, anxious and all, I came to realize this weekend that there was really no need to feel that way. Yes, he spent time with the kids and my Dad on saturday, and they all had a great day. Late in the day on Saturday, AH an...

Stillalive2dream · Stillalive2dream

I'm interested in learning from others the ways they have personally been affected or were affected by another one's addiction and recovery tools if any they have found useful. Making lists helps me come out of denial and help me focus on helping myself. Hopefully others will like this topic too.

DadtoCandE · DadtoCandE

Just before admitting herself to the hospital my wife ended a 1 week binge by playing beach volleyball with a volleyball social group that she has done a lot of drinking with. One of the guys from the club ended taking her home and then dropping her off in the morning (while I was getting the kids ready f...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I am feeling like after I hit my bottom and felt so lost a couple months ago, out of my brokeness is such a rightness. I am finally feeling not only like I will survive being alone, but I will get healthier and comfortable in my own skin for once. I have been working my program and on myself and all of a sudden i...

purpleraven · purpleraven

i'm wondering if there are any books that address the specific needs of a young COA, 6-8 years old? not for my daughter to read, but for me to better understand what she's going through and better be able to help her? (i've got one of those "6 going on 40" kids with a memory like an elepant.) also...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I've read and heard numerous times that alcoholism can make us just as insane as our alcoholic. Now what crossed my mind when I read and hear this is this: Did living w/alcoholism makes us nuts, or did we have certain belief systems, and thus behaviors that correlate, lead us to Nutsville? Aren't th...

NCSUgeology · NCSUgeology

You might remember my brother, who has been in and out of jail for DUI offenses and probation violations related to alcohol. He was released mid-January, and the first couple of weeks you could hear slurred speech whenever you talked to him on the phone. Sometimes it was sight, others it was severe. Re...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

Hi there everyone, it's me again. I am feeling more put together as of late and I know I did the right thing by moving out on my own months ago. I feel stronger and slowly being alone isn't as scary as it once was, I still have my moments, but more than not I am getting more comfy within my own skin. Having had m...

coco · coco

This may be a strange one but my A is ONLY interested in sex the day after drinking. I have heard of loss of desire and loss of erection but my A seems to get "juiced up sexually' from drinking. The sad thing is I just want to run away from him because of the old booze smell. I am new to this board but had...

White Rabbit · White Rabbit

My sponsor is starting a step study at her house once a week with 6 women. I'm thinking about going. [Well ... my sponsor has "suggested" that I go - a strong suggestion. Lol. ] For anyone that has a done a step study like this, what is it like? Especially with respect to the 4th and 5th steps...

clep · clep

I know I have a hp and that I am guided and cared for. That often doesnt' stop me from taking the reigns and doing things on my own. I don't fully trust. It has been a long road. Recently I had the news that I was going to have to move. My business is in my home and the layout of the house makes a large differen...

Mattie · Mattie

I'm trying to use my program to handle a situation, but I'm having trouble seeing how to approach it. The back story is that my exAH used to cancel trips at the last minute. We'd have some wonderful trip planned, like a week in Hawaii, and he'd get cold feet and cancel a day or two before. He'd say, "I...

maresie · maresie

I am coming up to 4 years from leaving the ex A. I'm looking at I had all kinds of timelines and ideas about where I should be in that time. I have not even dated since I left him. I have not really been able to get stable, pay the bills employment. I've had some really awful jobs. I am still living with roomma...

Freya · Freya

I'm really struggling with myself. I've stopped blaming other people for the state of my life and can see how I've made choices right down the line that left me open to be hurt and emotionally battered, when other people would have walked away. I'm looking at my life and the state it's in and feel so muc...

purpleraven · purpleraven

my ex-A has been clean and sober for 26 years. i only met him 5 years ago. whenever i read any of the posts her, or the literature, or go to face-to-face meetings, so much of what i hear is people dealing with actively drinking alcoholics, or alcoholics in the process of starting recovery, or alcoholics w...

KimmyJo · KimmyJo

My RAH packed up and moved away (like across the country) thought it was God opening the doors for him. Thought it would cure his problems. Thought it was the best thing for himself. Even though it is hard on me, I got left with all of the responsibities (once again). But atleast I get to sleep without chai...

searching4peace · searching4peace

I'm waffling. I know this is a decision only I can make. And it's not one to be made lightly or in the heat of the moment. I am seriously considering leaving. I plan of spending the next week considering prayerful all the options in front of me and asking my HP for guidance as I make this decision. I als...

roonpugs · roonpugs

I'd like to think that if the rolls were reversed and I was the alcoholic my husband would stand by me as I am him. But the question for myself is how far will I personally take these vows? What would be my breaking point? Does anyone living with an alcoholic ever define this "breaking point"...

Tracy · Tracy

At my meeting tonight we had two new comers, therefore we changed the topic to alcoholism is a disease. everytime this happens my brai says to me oh we have covered this so many times and every time I get adeeper understanding. you see it took me quite a while for it to really sink in that my patner was ill a...

drummerchick423 · drummerchick423

Hi, I've been lurking on here for a while. My story is.. 3.5 yrs off and on with my exbf. We broke up quite a few times...most of the time it was over alcohol. He has never EVER been able to swear off drinking altogether. He can not drink as MUCH..he can go for a while not getting drunk in front of me...but eve...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

As I posted a few weeks ago the wife came home with another pedigree puppy for the second time without even talking to me about it. (incidentally she said she needs money for clothes and I feel like telling her "you spent it on the puppy"). Now I fell in love with the Shih Tzu but I can't get into...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Silent treatment (Preview) as anybody experienced the silent treatment? is it a "normal" behavior for an alcoholic? some days the AH talks non stop about Tv shows (yay!) and some days its complete silence. if i try to talk about hockey (big sport in canada) or kid or anything that might interest him i get silence. at f...	Crazy Frog	8	4353	Apr 17, 2011 by abbyal
	Happy Weekend!!! (Preview) I am planning on a wonderful weekend. My "whatever" back and forth A will spend a little time together. I am going to take some time to myself rather than waste it getting irritated with him and his behavior. I will spend half with him and half on my own. Guess we are trying for the millionth t...	member922	8	805	Apr 16, 2011 by likemyheart
	Thanking Debilyn for her babies (Preview) Thanks Debilyn for the pictures of your sweet animals. I look forward to seeing them. My days have been so difficult lately---and just seeing them reconnects me to my soul for a brief moment. Gratefully, Otie.	Otie	3	627	Apr 16, 2011 by Debilyn
	Seeing recovery working for me (Preview) Me and my really long posts again... My HP really, REALLY wanted me to somehow, some way, get involved with the Big Island Bash this year - it's an AA convention with Al-Anon participation. The local AA district primarily puts this on and Al-Anon members volunteer to help out. We've known the Bash was c...	Aloha	1	577	Apr 16, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Emotions running high with newly recovering AH (Preview) Hi All, So it has been just over two weeks since my AH or do I call him my RAH stopped drinking. He said he's going to try it for awhile and see if it makes a difference in how he feels etc. I just wanted to get some feedback on what other's have experienced when their alcoholic was quitting or attempting reco...	roonpugs	13	800	Apr 16, 2011 by Sheral
	Made a good choice, but a broken record (Preview) So I decided to spend this evening at home alone. I just got home and called the A after work. Guess what?? Ugh, he sounded stoned stoned stoned! I am so glad that I stuck to my guns and stayed home instead of dealing with that crap firsthand. Now I am hesitant to go over there tomorrow. I CANNOT stand t...	member922	7	768	Apr 16, 2011 by member922
	Feeling my crazies starting to build (Preview) My crazies. They are starting to kick in. I'm writing this out so I can see on the computer screen which is the least crazy option and maybe get some ESH from others. My gut is screaming that my AH is lying, lying, lying. My gut knows AH is planning either to hook up with his affair partner or to hide out an...	Very Very Tired	11	801	Apr 16, 2011 by RunnerMom
	Functional Alcoholic (Preview) Sometimes you just feel so broken. You give EVERYTHING to something that falls apart and find yourself standing in the ruins trying to understand what went wrong. Functional Alcoholic. I think that is why so many of us end up in the mess we are in because at first we think the problems are normal couple p...	likemyheart	10	2890	Apr 16, 2011 by mle612
	Am going to say a bad word! (Preview) BORED!! I am freaking bored. sigh. I didn't even allow my kids or students to say that word! I have sat here as long as I can. Been reading a ton, that's cool. Everything that can be ready is. Pouring rain or I would do out and take my gliders apart.I love GREEN Oregon. This is crazy, a lot of you are in such tu...	Debilyn	4	599	Apr 15, 2011 by Loupiness
	Check it out!! (Preview) Aloha Family...just dropping off the address to the new Al-Anon e-site. My wife and I were scanning it today and it is much more up-beat. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/ Give it a gander. In support (((hugs)))	Jerry F	4	971	Apr 15, 2011 by danielle0516
	Need some advice... (Preview) Hi all, went to a great meeting tonight. Met a lot of new people which is always inspiring. It is a step meeting, and although I am still working on the first few steps, the group discussed step 9 - Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I got t...	Corgi2	6	647	Apr 15, 2011 by Corgi2
	I need some help or suggestions... (Preview) I really don`t know how to condense this but I will try. I also don`t mean to be throwing everyone in the mental health field under the bus so to speak but this has been predominately my experience. My grandaughter who is now 7 had been in my custody when she was about 3. Her dad who had just gotten out of pris...	Samsgram	10	887	Apr 15, 2011 by Samsgram
	New to this (Preview) I started writing my story last night, but got too emotional to finish. I could write a book and I am only 5 months into my relationship. My fiance told me pretty much up front that he was a recovering A. I could live with someone in recovery...we all have our baggage. We would go out and he would drink a...	mle612	9	799	Apr 15, 2011 by mle612
	For Otie (Preview) http://community.webshots.com/user/gypsygma Everyone of these babies were so loved. Even if they came in trying to kill us, and some did!But every single one, learned they were loved and safe and found a home. They turned so sweet. We only lost them to age, or they were too abused to live much longer...	Debilyn	0	475	Apr 15, 2011 by Debilyn
	Patting myself on the back * pat pat * (Preview) Last night my RAH was out of town for work and he called me at night to go on and on about how awful his day was, he hates his job, he lost a big sale, blah, blah, blah. And then something different happened! Instead of joining him in his rotten mood, I continued to have a lovely night, watched Real Housewives...	Aimee	3	735	Apr 15, 2011 by Debilyn
	Save me from my sick head (Preview) I don't know what to do, think or feel. I have been with my Abf for almost three years. In that time, he has never taken a drink. he has been "sober" for 8 years. Or the more appropriate term, dry. He doesn't work his program so I've learned he's not truly sober. Through alanon I've learne...	lizzakiss	5	844	Apr 15, 2011 by hotrod
	new here and surprised so many stories sound like mine (Preview) I am new to this website (and group). I have spent the last few days reading alot of the old posts. WOW! I never thought I was completely alone, but I never thought that I would hear so many things that were almost exact to my situation. Thanks to everyone for sharing. My story in a nutshell: I met my AH o...	lostinDC	6	692	Apr 15, 2011 by Jerry F
	A Little Jewel (Preview) As some of you know, I've begun to attend meetings and benefiting greatly. Kinda weird last night - my sister, who is a recovering A for 30+ years, went with me. We've never, ever been close! This was the first thing we've ever done together - just the 2 of us. The "Little Jewel I'm referring to is t...	GailMichelle	8	660	Apr 14, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Good news day and then.... (Preview) My morning today was awesome! Talked with a really good friend of mine... she is always so hard to get a hold of.. and found out that I'm eligible for Gov't funding to go back to school... YAY!!! Then 1pm hits, knock at the door. It was the CAS worker, serving me with court papers.. looks like we are going to...	Evian	6	850	Apr 14, 2011 by Jerry F
	Just dawned on me, and what about you? (Preview) Maybe how we were brought up has a lot to do with accepting we cannot control an A or anyone else? I grew up not hearing the word should much. We innately knew the rules. No one told us not to drink, not to smoke, not to do drugs etc. My brothers, and I, dressed clean and nice, did not party, we had lots of fun, bu...	Debilyn	6	456	Apr 14, 2011 by danielle0516
	AAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, need support (Preview) So, I was so proud of myself-I did not contact my exabf on his birthday. Today, a friend of mine tells me, she saw him out with some girl..I really didn't want to know, but she tells me what the girl looked like. I know I shouldn't have, but I did some online sleuthing and found out, yes, he's been hanging out...	drummerchick423	13	836	Apr 14, 2011 by drummerchick423
	Let's talk about sex (Preview) So I have read in books, heard in meetings, and seen it on this board that most addicts want sex and do all sorts of things to get it. However I am curious because I have the opposite problem with my exabf. The reason I am asking is because we are going to be getting together in a week and a half to talk about s...	parfait624	22	5227	Apr 14, 2011 by parfait624
	Watch my tongue! (Preview) I am working hard on not verbally bashing my husband. I do not do it intentionally, but sometimes even the truth sounds so bad that I cant seem to sugar coat it to make sense. I wish I had some 1-liners to make it sound better or get out of providing an answer. This situation is gettign to the point that peop...	gladysg	7	783	Apr 14, 2011 by White Rabbit
	husband was sober for 4yrs now drinking (Preview) My husband Joshua and I have been married for 4 1/2 years. Before we got married he had just started recovery and he was doing really well. We had delt with all our issues about him lying to me about drinking and all the hurtful things that went along with his drinking. We were GREAT. We got married when I w...	chastine	13	3190	Apr 14, 2011 by chastine
	Seeing The Signs (Again)... (Preview) My adult addicted son has been showing all the signs of reverting back to using again. I have been holding my breath since his rehab last Oct. hoping for a good out come, but last evening he came over to my house, very hostile when asked any questions, was not clean, eyes not clear. My heart has been poundi...	DreamsOver	6	704	Apr 14, 2011 by maff52
	New to Life on my own... (Preview) Hello, I am new to this life. The world of self love. I have been abused my whole life. I am a divorced mom of 3. I am currently working on finding myself. Setting bounderies, and learning what makes me happy in life. I took care of both my parents when I was a child. They were both on drugs, and later...	HopefulMom	4	323	Apr 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	feeling better. (Preview) Hi everyone, just wanted to let you all know i am feeling a lot better today. I reached out to al anon memebers and the support i recieved fro this site and memebers of my group pulled me through a difficult time again. As per usual there was a lesson within the pain from my Hp in fact more than one. Firstl...	Tracy	5	632	Apr 13, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Drinking, Cheating, & Moving On (Preview) Hi. I just wanted to share my experiences over the past couple weeks hoping it will help someone and maybe get some feedback from others who have been there. After 2 months of working the steps with his amazing sponsor I discovered that my AH cheated on me twice during his relapse this past winter. This t...	Aimee	13	1795	Apr 13, 2011 by Aimee
	Last day (Preview) Well today is my last day at work before being laid off. Been here five years. Everyone think good thoughts for me :)	carolinagirl	3	721	Apr 13, 2011 by roonpugs
	Disappointed - again! (Preview) Last week AH was in hospital (again!) with suspected internal bleeding. A blood transfusion, anti-withdrawal drugs and a lot of other care later he was discharged, still very unwell but, hey, this is the NHS (National Health Service: The British Healthcare system) and as soon as you can stand and w...	Tattyhead	8	1058	Apr 13, 2011 by Tattyhead
	How do I approach this? (Preview) Just looking for some outside input. I seen my exabf at a friends birthday party this weekend. It didn't go to bad he is still sober but is deeper then ever in his gambling addiction. He fully admited being at the casino the previous three nights till the early hours in the morning. Of course he didn't...	parfait624	11	863	Apr 13, 2011 by parfait624
	Those coping well with marriage to an active alcoholic.... (Preview) I would love to hear stories of those who are "happily" married to an active alcoholic or at least at peace in the relationship. I feel somewhat at peace now, and have heard that Alanon has created peace for many marriages with alcoholism that is active. I think myself and others would fin...	Chelle3	11	1006	Apr 13, 2011 by wildthang86
	Let down again (Preview) Hi everyone, here I am feeling fine about living on my own and great about my dettachment. My exAH was dropping off my 2 1/2 year old and he mentioned that there is a court ordered parenting class we have to attend and he wanted me to set it up since I have a more hectic schedule. I said sure no problem. He sa...	flopadopilus	9	760	Apr 13, 2011 by White Rabbit
	acceptance (Preview) so my A is 7 months sober and really working on himself. we are having a break to concentrate on our recoveries. I am really battling with resentments, its so hard. My A loves me I know this but my needs have have gone unmet for so long. I am meeting my own needs as best I can but I desire a partner who is sup...	Tracy	6	704	Apr 13, 2011 by missmikey
	Step one is a battle (Preview) I know I've already said it before, but I cant express how grateful I am to have found this site. I have been in this situation before so many times - my Abf calls me or I call him and he's been drinking but completely denies it. I end up staying awake for a long time being really angry at him and thinking about...	Corgi2	9	743	Apr 12, 2011 by Corgi2
	my exabf's birthday (Preview) I wanted to let you all know, I took everyone's advice and refrained from sending anything to my ex, or texting him or anything. I have to admit, it was a little hard for me. I kept thinking, he's going to think I hate him...he's not going ot understand why I would ignore his birthday...times when we broke...	drummerchick423	3	349	Apr 12, 2011 by maresie
	Nightmare day (Preview) Have to vent. ugh My hands are arthritic and sorta numb. The dumb doorknobs in my farm house are cheap. All the fencing is up at the cabin. Yesterday I was preparing for one last trip up to stay at our new home. I didn't get the door shut. All my 6 dogs ran out the door. I freaked, no fence. Great Pyrenees, Newf...	Debilyn	9	851	Apr 12, 2011 by pineapple
	panic (Preview) I have to get away my sober abf is o.k now lots of supprt and I am on my knees he will not even answer the phone after all the times i was there for him. I am in such pain can not eat trying hard yohurts and stuff never slept last night tried to rest mcuh as can. I am havig panic attacks my parent and brother are tr...	Tracy	9	519	Apr 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	New Here. Hi. (Preview) Hi All, I'm new here so I haven't had the chance to navigate the website much quite yet, but I'll get there. :) While I have never been an active member of Al-Anon, I could have probably began using it since the day I was born. My mother and father are alcoholics/prior drug addicts, and my stepdad is a recov...	Mrs_B	8	801	Apr 12, 2011 by Mrs_B
	WOW!! What a real eye opener! (Preview) The kids and I went down to see AH this weekend. After a couple of weeks of feeling lost, lonely, anxious and all, I came to realize this weekend that there was really no need to feel that way. Yes, he spent time with the kids and my Dad on saturday, and they all had a great day. Late in the day on Saturday, AH an...	Evian	12	821	Apr 12, 2011 by Evian
	How have YOU been affected by someone's alcohol/drug addiction? (Preview) I'm interested in learning from others the ways they have personally been affected or were affected by another one's addiction and recovery tools if any they have found useful. Making lists helps me come out of denial and help me focus on helping myself. Hopefully others will like this topic too.	Stillalive2dream	12	757	Apr 12, 2011 by judthryn
	up then down - long (Preview) Just before admitting herself to the hospital my wife ended a 1 week binge by playing beach volleyball with a volleyball social group that she has done a lot of drinking with. One of the guys from the club ended taking her home and then dropping her off in the morning (while I was getting the kids ready f...	DadtoCandE	8	1282	Apr 12, 2011 by Jerry F
	Brokenness (Preview) I am feeling like after I hit my bottom and felt so lost a couple months ago, out of my brokeness is such a rightness. I am finally feeling not only like I will survive being alone, but I will get healthier and comfortable in my own skin for once. I have been working my program and on myself and all of a sudden i...	flopadopilus	5	937	Apr 11, 2011 by Corgi2
	too young for Alateen, how to help a child? (Preview) i'm wondering if there are any books that address the specific needs of a young COA, 6-8 years old? not for my daughter to read, but for me to better understand what she's going through and better be able to help her? (i've got one of those "6 going on 40" kids with a memory like an elepant.) also...	purpleraven	8	1609	Apr 11, 2011 by pinkchip
	Been Contemplating This for a Long While (Preview) I've read and heard numerous times that alcoholism can make us just as insane as our alcoholic. Now what crossed my mind when I read and hear this is this: Did living w/alcoholism makes us nuts, or did we have certain belief systems, and thus behaviors that correlate, lead us to Nutsville? Aren't th...	GailMichelle	14	1079	Apr 11, 2011 by searching4peace
	Just when things were going well (Preview) You might remember my brother, who has been in and out of jail for DUI offenses and probation violations related to alcohol. He was released mid-January, and the first couple of weeks you could hear slurred speech whenever you talked to him on the phone. Sometimes it was sight, others it was severe. Re...	NCSUgeology	8	853	Apr 11, 2011 by Debilyn
	Guilt (Preview) Hi there everyone, it's me again. I am feeling more put together as of late and I know I did the right thing by moving out on my own months ago. I feel stronger and slowly being alone isn't as scary as it once was, I still have my moments, but more than not I am getting more comfy within my own skin. Having had m...	flopadopilus	3	624	Apr 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	alcohol and sexual desire (Preview) This may be a strange one but my A is ONLY interested in sex the day after drinking. I have heard of loss of desire and loss of erection but my A seems to get "juiced up sexually' from drinking. The sad thing is I just want to run away from him because of the old booze smell. I am new to this board but had...	coco	5	1140	Apr 11, 2011 by B_L
	Step Study group - question (Preview) My sponsor is starting a step study at her house once a week with 6 women. I'm thinking about going. [Well ... my sponsor has "suggested" that I go - a strong suggestion. Lol. ] For anyone that has a done a step study like this, what is it like? Especially with respect to the 4th and 5th steps...	White Rabbit	7	3949	Apr 11, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Trust in hp finally has happened (Preview) I know I have a hp and that I am guided and cared for. That often doesnt' stop me from taking the reigns and doing things on my own. I don't fully trust. It has been a long road. Recently I had the news that I was going to have to move. My business is in my home and the layout of the house makes a large differen...	clep	10	872	Apr 11, 2011 by member922
	Flashback to old experiences (Preview) I'm trying to use my program to handle a situation, but I'm having trouble seeing how to approach it. The back story is that my exAH used to cancel trips at the last minute. We'd have some wonderful trip planned, like a week in Hawaii, and he'd get cold feet and cancel a day or two before. He'd say, "I...	Mattie	6	880	Apr 10, 2011 by White Rabbit
	4 years on (Preview) I am coming up to 4 years from leaving the ex A. I'm looking at I had all kinds of timelines and ideas about where I should be in that time. I have not even dated since I left him. I have not really been able to get stable, pay the bills employment. I've had some really awful jobs. I am still living with roomma...	maresie	9	892	Apr 10, 2011 by maresie
	Fed up of being sick and tired! (Preview) I'm really struggling with myself. I've stopped blaming other people for the state of my life and can see how I've made choices right down the line that left me open to be hurt and emotionally battered, when other people would have walked away. I'm looking at my life and the state it's in and feel so muc...	Freya	3	899	Apr 10, 2011 by Mattie
	i'm stuck! the A who hasn't had a drink in 26 years (Preview) my ex-A has been clean and sober for 26 years. i only met him 5 years ago. whenever i read any of the posts her, or the literature, or go to face-to-face meetings, so much of what i hear is people dealing with actively drinking alcoholics, or alcoholics in the process of starting recovery, or alcoholics w...	purpleraven	7	762	Apr 10, 2011 by Otie
	Everyone tells me that my head is in the sand??? (Preview) My RAH packed up and moved away (like across the country) thought it was God opening the doors for him. Thought it would cure his problems. Thought it was the best thing for himself. Even though it is hard on me, I got left with all of the responsibities (once again). But atleast I get to sleep without chai...	KimmyJo	4	913	Apr 9, 2011 by hotrod
	Do I stay or do I go. (Preview) I'm waffling. I know this is a decision only I can make. And it's not one to be made lightly or in the heat of the moment. I am seriously considering leaving. I plan of spending the next week considering prayerful all the options in front of me and asking my HP for guidance as I make this decision. I als...	searching4peace	3	846	Apr 9, 2011 by Debilyn
	"For better or WORSE" that was the vow... (Preview) I'd like to think that if the rolls were reversed and I was the alcoholic my husband would stand by me as I am him. But the question for myself is how far will I personally take these vows? What would be my breaking point? Does anyone living with an alcoholic ever define this "breaking point"...	roonpugs	11	1043	Apr 9, 2011 by supermom
	disease (Preview) At my meeting tonight we had two new comers, therefore we changed the topic to alcoholism is a disease. everytime this happens my brai says to me oh we have covered this so many times and every time I get adeeper understanding. you see it took me quite a while for it to really sink in that my patner was ill a...	Tracy	2	649	Apr 9, 2011 by pineapple
	I'm new. I miss my exabf sooo much. It hurts terribly. (Preview) Hi, I've been lurking on here for a while. My story is.. 3.5 yrs off and on with my exbf. We broke up quite a few times...most of the time it was over alcohol. He has never EVER been able to swear off drinking altogether. He can not drink as MUCH..he can go for a while not getting drunk in front of me...but eve...	drummerchick423	7	681	Apr 9, 2011 by Corgi2
	Angry at a puppy and not liking myself for it. (Preview) As I posted a few weeks ago the wife came home with another pedigree puppy for the second time without even talking to me about it. (incidentally she said she needs money for clothes and I feel like telling her "you spent it on the puppy"). Now I fell in love with the Shih Tzu but I can't get into...	mjhyankees	15	971	Apr 9, 2011 by Otie
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.