Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

parfait624 · parfait624

My ABF and I have been going through this struggle of being back and fourth with each other since the holidays. He is over three years sober from alcohol right now. However he is still smoking pot heavily and over the holidays his addiction to poker took over in the drivers seat. I started going to ala...

nsnyder304 · nsnyder304

This is all new to me. My husband just checked into rehab 5 days ago. We have been married for 11 yrs., 12 yrs. this August. He has always been a drinker & so have I but I seemed to grow out of it over the yrs. His mother passed away 4 yrs ago & the drinking really seemed to get bad. I didn't understand at...

atheos · atheos

I seem to see that one a lot around here... what does it mean?

WAJess · WAJess

I have been around alcoholics (recovering for the most part) for all of my life. I participated in Alateen when I was younger and seemed to push away from it- so hard- as I got older. Looking back at it, I believe my intention was to break the cycle without having to be "one of those friends of Bill o...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday a.m. Al-anon meeting as have medical tests at the hospital and will be unable to return home in time. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks.

chinup · chinup

im trying it agin this being attemp 4 i hope and pray ill not pick up that phone and calll him this time,its hard really hard but its even harder knowing he is not in any recovery and he is a full blown a/addict,and only and only will he say rarely that he is in need of detoxing ,so then his body is clean and the...

oldergal · oldergal

So your the wife and your A finally starts going to AA, and you are going to Alanon. Your husband is doing good in recovery, and has now made new friends in AA and is cultivating those new relationships. Great, but you don't want to put a damper on those new friends from fear of him stopping recovery. But no...

devlynn · devlynn

My question is this: is there a difference Between someone who drinks a lot and an alcoholic? I have a friend who says she was an alcoholic about 15 years ago. I was surprised because I've never really seen her drink. Even at parties where it was plentiful. I've seen have a glass of wine with dinner kind...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

I am curious to know what triggers an alcoholic to look for help meaning e Going to AA for example. I am not judging when I say the following: a relative went into DT (delirium tremens) and had a DUI and denies she has a problem, a friend of mines dad is dying of liver failure due to alcohol and still denies. S...

Aimee · Aimee

Hi! I have a sponsor, I've worked the 12 steps (and continue to work it every day!!), and I live the solution in my life everyday. It's amazing how there is never a shortage of opportunities to use my nifty new al-anon tools. Life is funny that way, isn't it? Anyway, I have been to a few al-anon meetings (me...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi - sorry, I haven't been here for a little while. Things have been very difficult. AH, having been told after his last hospital admission that he must give up drinking, eat normally and take his prescribed medication, has done none of these things. His physical condition has been deteriorating bef...

sdisnie · sdisnie

I really don't like to throw all my personal stuff out there....but I really need to vent, I'm just beside myself, it's one thing after another and I never have the chance to work on my healing because I have so much on my plate!! In a nut shell, I'm trying to do everything I can to move forward emotionally...

devlynn · devlynn

Confusing subject line huh? LOL Here is my situation, (Im just going to put it out there like it so my brain wont hurt so much while i type this lol.) My ABF is disabled and receives SSDI. His doctors, the State and who ever else know he is an A, recovering addict and has been homeless on more then one occasi...

linbaba · linbaba

Boundaries to me are what the entire Program hinge on, learning where I end and another person begins, I spent nearly my entire life wondering why my "boundaries" worked with some people but not others, because I thought enforcing a boundary meant informing another person how they had ha...

Della · Della

Hi, I'm new here and this site was the first thing that came up when I typed in Al anon message board into google. My partner died recently from alcoholism. To be honest, since his death. I feel a bit at peace as before I was always worried each day whether he's be alive or not, what danger he'd put himself th...

linbaba · linbaba

Otie asked me to post on a few subjects, both in a thread, and in a PM, and they are so diverse I'd thought I'd split them up 12 stepping alcoholics/ ruining their drinking/ parents with alcoholic children First of all, I am a firm believer in a few things: The Three "C's" I can't control them I c...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I am so frustrated today. I have lost and chosen to lose many friends and my exAH to addiction behavior I am unable to live with. I live simply and pretty isolated except for a couple of handfuls of people who know alot of my daily life. Of those people roughly 5 know about the nonnarcotic medications I ha...

jamfu · jamfu

I read a reply to one of your posts. "The Alcoholic lies, cheats, manipulates, rationalizes his or her drink behaviors, argues, is selfish, is self-centered, is not trustworthy, guilty and the list can go on and on. The alcoholic is a mess spiritually, mentally and physically. The alcoholic i...

jamfu · jamfu

Thank you all for your posts. About the third time she relapsed I started going to meetings at a local church. But I was not ready then, and it was somewhat a bargain with her. You go to AA, and I'll go to al-anon. It will go away, and I'll never forget the lesson. I found you guys for a reason i suppose. I am re...

dotmeg · dotmeg

This is my first time posting. My husband will be getting out of jail (again) soon because of charges related to his drug addiction. This last time he has been in for approximately 10 months. He moved out almost 4 years ago and we have been legally separated (not divorced) for 3 years. We have 2 chil...

devlynn · devlynn

Howdy! Ok step one : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Pretty straight forward i guess... Well not so much...(I am the analogy queen just so you know this now lol) If i want to make brownies i turn the box around and read the directions. I follow them and i g...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I had court yesterday and I figured I could use a counseling session afterwards. So as I was talking about the day with exAH and how he has hardly worked due to his drinking and needing to sleep it off until noon that resulted in him not having to pay child support. Which i didn't even go after him for child s...

oldergal · oldergal

Could someone please explain what actually happens when a person who has been drinking alcohol has a blackout. Can someone who just starting drinking have a blackout?Does it only happen to someone who is progressed in alcoholism? Is it the amount of booze they drink? All responses are appreciated....

chinup · chinup

just what i needed to hear if u read my posts ive left on here youll understand why,and if u have time do plz read my post.its not easy for me at all but ive got to really get to working harder on my recovery before im doomed,ty agin for yur post and do keep coming back,ill be looking for yur posts......chinup...

Hayes · Hayes

Honestly - this is just a vent. I have to do it as I am losing it this very minute. Peak hour/dinner time/bed time in the family home. He had drunk one bottle of wine onto the next. He thinks he's funny and I don't know what - I just find it unsettling, loud, boistourous (sp?) and just generally not conducive...

jamfu · jamfu

Over the last several years my girlfriend has put herself in harms way everytime she had a drink. From falling flat one her face to driving blacked out. It is kind of a long story, but i am sure everyone's is. It went on too long with her doing something really stupid like hitting me, to where i shut down emo...

biglee · biglee

Greetings everyone... I am new to the boards, new to al-anon, and fairly new to relating to an alcoholic. My fiancee and I met in HS, and after 20 some years re-met. Fell fast in love, and after six months, moved in with one another. I knew he drank some, but not as much as I later discovered. After a serie...

devlynn · devlynn

I used to be good at ignoring signs, unless of course they smacked right in the head. Well I have been asking my HP to please give me signs and help me on what I should do about my ABF. (I posted my story about him and I and he is currently in jail) I have been talking to my sister and sharing all the details o...

chinup · chinup

my a,b/f dont live here i wont let him 1st of all,he says he loves me so so so much,he sounds so sicere like its coming from down deep in his heart,but in the beginning 3 yrs ago he used people for all they was worth he sucked the life out of me almost ,untill i put a stop to it now he lives with his boss and his fami...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Maybe you guys can help me see this in a different way? After the meeting ended the other night, we were all chatting a bit. An older man came up to me and said "Why don't you leave that bad guy of yours and find a nice guy, theres plenty out there?" I responded meekly, because I didn't know wha...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I changed from my grandsons pic as my avatar to a slug! hahahaha deb

Party of Five · Party of Five

Hi, Im PoF and Im a newbie.I wont go into the details of how I ended up here, only that once upon a time I had the perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect home, perfect lifeand alcoholism took most of that away from me.After (too many) years of attempting to help/support/cure/coerce my ex-husband into r...

Otie · Otie

Dear linbaba, I just read the post you made to Katy ("learning to love the person"). I feel that there are some message in there that are so well explained and would be of great help to a fledgling like myself. Would it be possible for you to make it a whole thread within itself (by special requ...

sdisnie · sdisnie

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14696-overcoming-the-need-to-fix/

jenel25 · jenel25

Over the past few years my husband's alcoholism has gotten much worse. My daughter is nearly 7 and by now I know she realizes that sometimes daddy's drinking makes me very unhappy, and I think she's just beginning to realize that when he behaves obnoxiously it has something to do with his drinking bee...

Evian · Evian

So, had court today. When AH found out that he was not going to be allowed to come back home, he freaked. Started getting irate with me, and telling me that I didn't support him at all in this whole thing. According to him, my lawyer, my counsellor and the CAS are all wrong, and I am scared of all of them, and w...

RLC · RLC

A man was walking along a rocky path overlooking a canyon hundreds of feet below when he slipped on the loose rock and fell straight down. He was lucky to grab hold of one small vine as he was falling and held on for dear life. He realized the small vine would not support him for long so he yelled at th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

is being teachable Jerry F", my elder sponsor taught me while I was working thru powerlessness and using rationalizations to decide what I work on and what I don't work on in recovery. I had a sponsor and was trying to do it my way anyway. I don't know exactly what lesson I was objecting to and mayb...

John · John

Good Morning Family and Friends! Today I am going to do Extreme Facial Exercise. All it requires is that I walk around all day with a big smile on my face.

clep · clep

I run a day home where I care for multiple children. Yesterday I was sick but worked anyways so parents would not have to find alternate care in the morning. I did let them know I would not be working today. I am still sick and cannot care for multiple children without strain on me physically. I sent an...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Good evening folks, Yes it's me again, just checking in. I have been in plaster yet again and found myself very limited in what I could do. I have also battled with cabin-fever again but at last I am out of plaster and able to get around a bit better albeit still on crutches. I am not out of the woods yet. ...

John · John

I was asked to help a woman find and buy a car, so I went on craigslist, and knowing she didn't have much money, and I'd probably have to help out with some money, I put in a low maximum price. Several came up, but they all needed alot of work. I kept going through the sale ads, and suddenly one ad stuck out....

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I recently found out that someone I work with is an alcoholic. I have always had such a great relationship with her; and finding out that she's in recovery only makes me respect her more. I love that I can go to her with my issues and know that she understands. It also helps because she is on the other side; s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Beyond frustrated and I'm tearing ready to cry and go throw a tantrum out in my back yard. Another death to alcohol...another innocent victim run over and dragged beneath the van of a drunk until dead; not a native sun a student at our local college from Texas. I want to storm the legislature and screa...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am not sure if I am doing this right, but I am reading from One Day at a time and this Today's Reminder really sticks out for me: "I will clear out of my life and mind all the tools of destruction I have been using. I know they can do nothing to improve my situation. I will make myself learn to use a new s...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hello all....well today is my ABF's bday and I wanted to have a nice day. He hasn't been drinking for the past couple of months, but today he sent me a text message telling me that he is having a party on saturday and asked what I thought about him drinking. Everything went numb. I don't know what to do anymo...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

This past weekend, my wife and I took our kids to a bounce house. For those who are not familiar, bounce houses are basically large warehouses filled with giant inflatable bouncing things, slides, etc. Our kids love them, as do all kids. I only wish they had them when I was younger! Anyway, we love seein...

Jozie · Jozie

This past Weekend...My Husband & I were the only ones to go on the Kayaks, and I had never floated that area of River Before & the Veiws were Breathe Taking... I got to See 3 Bald Eagles, 1 Baby Bald Eagle, and Critters Gallore... You know when I am sitting out on a River by myself, & My Husband i...

devlynn · devlynn

Well I feel I need to share, get it off my chest or whatever we are going to call this...so here goes nothing :) I met my ABF just over a year ago. He actually worked for my husband. I was at a super low point in my life. A few months later I left my husband (this was in the works already for me) I ran into the arms...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I've been doing this for almost nine years, Left and went back, left and went back again and again. I feel as if I've burnt all my bridges with my family. I now am in my bedroom all the time except for work, which I am glad I have. No vechicle, my handicap brother is living us. requires assistant being fed, ge...

annemarieski · annemarieski

So I'm new here, but not new to Al-Anon. I have been in & out of Al-Anon meetings over the years. And about 4 years ago, we finally split (for many reasons, not just his alcoholism) He got better, I got better, and we got back together. I thought I'd never have to deal with this again, but it reared its ug...

devlynn · devlynn

I'll try to make this short.... When you all go to meetings what do you tell people? Simple question I am sure but not so simple for me. I've always been crazy open with my family and friends. However for many reasons I feel this however is none of thier business. When someone asks what I am doing or to d...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Today I feel good. I had a good last few days actually. Even though bf drank Saturday, I didn't react and I remained calm. We had a good relaxed day actually and I took a lot of time to just be in the moment. I can be happy or I can get upset. Its a lot nicer to be happy. So Sunday and Monday were extra nice be...

dealingwithit · dealingwithit

I have been what you can call a wallflower to this message board for sometime...when things got really rough, I'd read though and take comfort that I'm not alone. I was a member a few years back, but lost the sign on info...never forgot the site. Anyway... Things have just gotten horrendous...He got a D...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

If you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for my ex spouse. He was unable to attend our eldest son's wedding yesterday because he was ill. Whether he was actually sick or just to humiliated to attend, I do not know. I'm beyond the point to try to see the truth. I did attend the wedding; it was hel...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Since beginning meetings, I've pondered the definition of the word "selfish." I haven't looked in any dictionary, but I've thought a lot about my understanding of the word through my experiences. This past weekend, my ex has been going through hell with his delusions once again. It'...

oldergal · oldergal

The last day for my son (over 21) to be here was yesterday, he came by after a long weekend w/his girlfriend/buddy, to pick up the tent etc. I told him to leave the keys and that he could keep his belongings in my little cabin, until he found a place. He is not happy because I am "kicking" him out. H...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi. I am a very grateful member of Al-Anon. This evening my A tried to (it seemed to me) goad me into entering a discussion which would soon escalate into some form of verbal confrontation. She'd been drinking upstairs and I was waiting to actually see if she had been drinking, after she'd spoken a few s...

Nico22 · Nico22

Where to begin...first off I'm new to this website. I am reaching out for support from others. My fiance and I have been together for 4 1/2 years but only lived with one another for a year now. I have two kids in past relationship so I never spent the night at his house when we were dating. I didn't know h...

chinup · chinup

just wanna say i love all of these posts,ive learned a gr8t deal,ty all and i love each and everyone of u.

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	It's sad and out of my hands (Preview) My ABF and I have been going through this struggle of being back and fourth with each other since the holidays. He is over three years sober from alcohol right now. However he is still smoking pot heavily and over the holidays his addiction to poker took over in the drivers seat. I started going to ala...	parfait624	4	603	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	very nervous, not sure how all of this works (Preview) This is all new to me. My husband just checked into rehab 5 days ago. We have been married for 11 yrs., 12 yrs. this August. He has always been a drinker & so have I but I seemed to grow out of it over the yrs. His mother passed away 4 yrs ago & the drinking really seemed to get bad. I didn't understand at...	nsnyder304	6	533	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	What is ESH? (Preview) I seem to see that one a lot around here... what does it mean?	atheos	3	387	Jun 6, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Now what!?!?!???? (Preview) I have been around alcoholics (recovering for the most part) for all of my life. I participated in Alateen when I was younger and seemed to push away from it- so hard- as I got older. Looking back at it, I believe my intention was to break the cycle without having to be "one of those friends of Bill o...	WAJess	2	420	Jun 6, 2011 by WAJess
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG (Preview) I am unable to chair my regularly scheduled Monday a.m. Al-anon meeting as have medical tests at the hospital and will be unable to return home in time. Hoping someone will be able to step up for me. Thanks.	shimo	1	357	Jun 6, 2011 by Overcome
	breaking it off completely from a (Preview) im trying it agin this being attemp 4 i hope and pray ill not pick up that phone and calll him this time,its hard really hard but its even harder knowing he is not in any recovery and he is a full blown a/addict,and only and only will he say rarely that he is in need of detoxing ,so then his body is clean and the...	chinup	9	637	Jun 6, 2011 by chinup
	Jealousy a Common Feeling? (Preview) So your the wife and your A finally starts going to AA, and you are going to Alanon. Your husband is doing good in recovery, and has now made new friends in AA and is cultivating those new relationships. Great, but you don't want to put a damper on those new friends from fear of him stopping recovery. But no...	oldergal	8	2023	Jun 6, 2011 by canadianguy
	Is there a difference (Preview) My question is this: is there a difference Between someone who drinks a lot and an alcoholic? I have a friend who says she was an alcoholic about 15 years ago. I was surprised because I've never really seen her drink. Even at parties where it was plentiful. I've seen have a glass of wine with dinner kind...	devlynn	7	587	Jun 6, 2011 by kitty
	When do alcoholics look for help? (Preview) I am curious to know what triggers an alcoholic to look for help meaning e Going to AA for example. I am not judging when I say the following: a relative went into DT (delirium tremens) and had a DUI and denies she has a problem, a friend of mines dad is dying of liver failure due to alcohol and still denies. S...	Crazy Frog	10	879	Jun 6, 2011 by canadianguy
	Home Group ?? (Preview) Hi! I have a sponsor, I've worked the 12 steps (and continue to work it every day!!), and I live the solution in my life everyday. It's amazing how there is never a shortage of opportunities to use my nifty new al-anon tools. Life is funny that way, isn't it? Anyway, I have been to a few al-anon meetings (me...	Aimee	3	599	Jun 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	Update (Preview) Hi - sorry, I haven't been here for a little while. Things have been very difficult. AH, having been told after his last hospital admission that he must give up drinking, eat normally and take his prescribed medication, has done none of these things. His physical condition has been deteriorating bef...	Tattyhead	8	574	Jun 5, 2011 by danielle0516
	Nearly impossible to concentrate on me right now! (Preview) I really don't like to throw all my personal stuff out there....but I really need to vent, I'm just beside myself, it's one thing after another and I never have the chance to work on my healing because I have so much on my plate!! In a nut shell, I'm trying to do everything I can to move forward emotionally...	sdisnie	7	552	Jun 5, 2011 by sdisnie
	How do you NOT control when you have a legal obligation to control (Preview) Confusing subject line huh? LOL Here is my situation, (Im just going to put it out there like it so my brain wont hurt so much while i type this lol.) My ABF is disabled and receives SSDI. His doctors, the State and who ever else know he is an A, recovering addict and has been homeless on more then one occasi...	devlynn	7	605	Jun 5, 2011 by nezyb
	Oties Answers: Part Two: Step One and Boundaries (Preview) Boundaries to me are what the entire Program hinge on, learning where I end and another person begins, I spent nearly my entire life wondering why my "boundaries" worked with some people but not others, because I thought enforcing a boundary meant informing another person how they had ha...	linbaba	6	630	Jun 5, 2011 by devlynn
	Death by alcoholism (Preview) Hi, I'm new here and this site was the first thing that came up when I typed in Al anon message board into google. My partner died recently from alcoholism. To be honest, since his death. I feel a bit at peace as before I was always worried each day whether he's be alive or not, what danger he'd put himself th...	Della	6	4577	Jun 5, 2011 by hotrod
	Oties Answer: 12 Stepping (Preview) Otie asked me to post on a few subjects, both in a thread, and in a PM, and they are so diverse I'd thought I'd split them up 12 stepping alcoholics/ ruining their drinking/ parents with alcoholic children First of all, I am a firm believer in a few things: The Three "C's" I can't control them I c...	linbaba	2	573	Jun 5, 2011 by Crazy Frog
	Nothing personal to the nice horse but let me off (Preview) I am so frustrated today. I have lost and chosen to lose many friends and my exAH to addiction behavior I am unable to live with. I live simply and pretty isolated except for a couple of handfuls of people who know alot of my daily life. Of those people roughly 5 know about the nonnarcotic medications I ha...	Jennifer	3	464	Jun 5, 2011 by Otie
	to sdisne or anyone (Preview) I read a reply to one of your posts. "The Alcoholic lies, cheats, manipulates, rationalizes his or her drink behaviors, argues, is selfish, is self-centered, is not trustworthy, guilty and the list can go on and on. The alcoholic is a mess spiritually, mentally and physically. The alcoholic i...	jamfu	7	622	Jun 4, 2011 by sdisnie
	thank you (Preview) Thank you all for your posts. About the third time she relapsed I started going to meetings at a local church. But I was not ready then, and it was somewhat a bargain with her. You go to AA, and I'll go to al-anon. It will go away, and I'll never forget the lesson. I found you guys for a reason i suppose. I am re...	jamfu	2	406	Jun 4, 2011 by pineapple
	list of "boundaries" or "expectations" (Preview) This is my first time posting. My husband will be getting out of jail (again) soon because of charges related to his drug addiction. This last time he has been in for approximately 10 months. He moved out almost 4 years ago and we have been legally separated (not divorced) for 3 years. We have 2 chil...	dotmeg	10	6314	Jun 4, 2011 by abbyal
	Step Question (Preview) Howdy! Ok step one : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Pretty straight forward i guess... Well not so much...(I am the analogy queen just so you know this now lol) If i want to make brownies i turn the box around and read the directions. I follow them and i g...	devlynn	5	564	Jun 4, 2011 by abbyal
	Narcissistic anyone? (Preview) I had court yesterday and I figured I could use a counseling session afterwards. So as I was talking about the day with exAH and how he has hardly worked due to his drinking and needing to sleep it off until noon that resulted in him not having to pay child support. Which i didn't even go after him for child s...	flopadopilus	6	2167	Jun 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Black Out (Preview) Could someone please explain what actually happens when a person who has been drinking alcohol has a blackout. Can someone who just starting drinking have a blackout?Does it only happen to someone who is progressed in alcoholism? Is it the amount of booze they drink? All responses are appreciated....	oldergal	7	618	Jun 4, 2011 by jamfu
	pinkchip ty for yur post (Preview) just what i needed to hear if u read my posts ive left on here youll understand why,and if u have time do plz read my post.its not easy for me at all but ive got to really get to working harder on my recovery before im doomed,ty agin for yur post and do keep coming back,ill be looking for yur posts......chinup...	chinup	0	320	Jun 4, 2011 by chinup
	Twists and Turns - Making me feel like i can't go on. (Preview) Honestly - this is just a vent. I have to do it as I am losing it this very minute. Peak hour/dinner time/bed time in the family home. He had drunk one bottle of wine onto the next. He thinks he's funny and I don't know what - I just find it unsettling, loud, boistourous (sp?) and just generally not conducive...	Hayes	12	473	Jun 4, 2011 by Hayes
	I need to talk to someone (Preview) Over the last several years my girlfriend has put herself in harms way everytime she had a drink. From falling flat one her face to driving blacked out. It is kind of a long story, but i am sure everyone's is. It went on too long with her doing something really stupid like hitting me, to where i shut down emo...	jamfu	5	1105	Jun 4, 2011 by jamfu
	Life after Rehab (newbie) (Preview) Greetings everyone... I am new to the boards, new to al-anon, and fairly new to relating to an alcoholic. My fiancee and I met in HS, and after 20 some years re-met. Fell fast in love, and after six months, moved in with one another. I knew he drank some, but not as much as I later discovered. After a serie...	biglee	8	634	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Is it really a sign? (Preview) I used to be good at ignoring signs, unless of course they smacked right in the head. Well I have been asking my HP to please give me signs and help me on what I should do about my ABF. (I posted my story about him and I and he is currently in jail) I have been talking to my sister and sharing all the details o...	devlynn	8	561	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	confused (Preview) my a,b/f dont live here i wont let him 1st of all,he says he loves me so so so much,he sounds so sicere like its coming from down deep in his heart,but in the beginning 3 yrs ago he used people for all they was worth he sucked the life out of me almost ,untill i put a stop to it now he lives with his boss and his fami...	chinup	5	616	Jun 3, 2011 by sdisnie
	Something that is bothering me... (Preview) Maybe you guys can help me see this in a different way? After the meeting ended the other night, we were all chatting a bit. An older man came up to me and said "Why don't you leave that bad guy of yours and find a nice guy, theres plenty out there?" I responded meekly, because I didn't know wha...	youfoundme	11	590	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	I just realized (Preview) I changed from my grandsons pic as my avatar to a slug! hahahaha deb	Debilyn	7	440	Jun 3, 2011 by GailMichelle
	"Mourning" (and my introduction) (Preview) Hi, Im PoF and Im a newbie.I wont go into the details of how I ended up here, only that once upon a time I had the perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect home, perfect lifeand alcoholism took most of that away from me.After (too many) years of attempting to help/support/cure/coerce my ex-husband into r...	Party of Five	6	465	Jun 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Calling on linbaba/ "The Devil in a Sunday Dress" (Preview) Dear linbaba, I just read the post you made to Katy ("learning to love the person"). I feel that there are some message in there that are so well explained and would be of great help to a fledgling like myself. Would it be possible for you to make it a whole thread within itself (by special requ...	Otie	3	930	Jun 3, 2011 by linbaba
	For those of us who are fixers (Preview) http://www.livestrong.com/article/14696-overcoming-the-need-to-fix/	sdisnie	3	478	Jun 3, 2011 by youfoundme
	What should I tell my child? (Preview) Over the past few years my husband's alcoholism has gotten much worse. My daughter is nearly 7 and by now I know she realizes that sometimes daddy's drinking makes me very unhappy, and I think she's just beginning to realize that when he behaves obnoxiously it has something to do with his drinking bee...	jenel25	9	5556	Jun 3, 2011 by canadianguy
	Wowzers! (Preview) So, had court today. When AH found out that he was not going to be allowed to come back home, he freaked. Started getting irate with me, and telling me that I didn't support him at all in this whole thing. According to him, my lawyer, my counsellor and the CAS are all wrong, and I am scared of all of them, and w...	Evian	5	592	Jun 3, 2011 by canadianguy
	HUMOR Making A Point.......Let Go And Let God (Preview) A man was walking along a rocky path overlooking a canyon hundreds of feet below when he slipped on the loose rock and fell straight down. He was lucky to grab hold of one small vine as he was falling and held on for dear life. He realized the small vine would not support him for long so he yelled at th...	RLC	7	817	Jun 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	"Humility... (Preview) is being teachable Jerry F", my elder sponsor taught me while I was working thru powerlessness and using rationalizations to decide what I work on and what I don't work on in recovery. I had a sponsor and was trying to do it my way anyway. I don't know exactly what lesson I was objecting to and mayb...	Jerry F	5	1046	Jun 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	Today's Exercise (Preview) Good Morning Family and Friends! Today I am going to do *Extreme Facial Exercise.* All it requires is that I walk around all day with a big smile on my face.	John	4	524	Jun 2, 2011 by Jerry F
	I am so stressed. (Preview) I run a day home where I care for multiple children. Yesterday I was sick but worked anyways so parents would not have to find alternate care in the morning. I did let them know I would not be working today. I am still sick and cannot care for multiple children without strain on me physically. I sent an...	clep	11	594	Jun 2, 2011 by glad lee
	Sometimes YOU know best and if so, keep on badgering the powers that be until they listen to YOU. (Preview) Good evening folks, Yes it's me again, just checking in. I have been in plaster yet again and found myself very limited in what I could do. I have also battled with cabin-fever again but at last I am out of plaster and able to get around a bit better albeit still on crutches. I am not out of the woods yet. ...	Suzannah	1	472	Jun 2, 2011 by Jozie
	A God Story (Preview) I was asked to help a woman find and buy a car, so I went on craigslist, and knowing she didn't have much money, and I'd probably have to help out with some money, I put in a low maximum price. Several came up, but they all needed alot of work. I kept going through the sale ads, and suddenly one ad stuck out....	John	8	506	Jun 2, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Never thought of this..... (Preview) I recently found out that someone I work with is an alcoholic. I have always had such a great relationship with her; and finding out that she's in recovery only makes me respect her more. I love that I can go to her with my issues and know that she understands. It also helps because she is on the other side; s...	Corgi2	4	385	Jun 2, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I'm beyond sad, beyond angry (Preview) Beyond frustrated and I'm tearing ready to cry and go throw a tantrum out in my back yard. Another death to alcohol...another innocent victim run over and dragged beneath the van of a drunk until dead; not a native sun a student at our local college from Texas. I want to storm the legislature and screa...	Jerry F	18	820	Jun 2, 2011 by lacewing
	One Day at a time--January 17 page 17 (Preview) I am not sure if I am doing this right, but I am reading from One Day at a time and this Today's Reminder really sticks out for me: "I will clear out of my life and mind all the tools of destruction I have been using. I know they can do nothing to improve my situation. I will make myself learn to use a new s...	youfoundme	4	403	Jun 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	He asked permission to drink (Preview) Hello all....well today is my ABF's bday and I wanted to have a nice day. He hasn't been drinking for the past couple of months, but today he sent me a text message telling me that he is having a party on saturday and asked what I thought about him drinking. Everything went numb. I don't know what to do anymo...	Corgi2	10	543	Jun 2, 2011 by Corgi2
	Detachment (Preview) This past weekend, my wife and I took our kids to a bounce house. For those who are not familiar, bounce houses are basically large warehouses filled with giant inflatable bouncing things, slides, etc. Our kids love them, as do all kids. I only wish they had them when I was younger! Anyway, we love seein...	usedtobeanyer	8	922	Jun 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	Blessings Big & Small :) (Preview) This past Weekend...My Husband & I were the only ones to go on the Kayaks, and I had never floated that area of River Before & the Veiws were Breathe Taking... I got to See 3 Bald Eagles, 1 Baby Bald Eagle, and Critters Gallore... You know when I am sitting out on a River by myself, & My Husband i...	Jozie	3	925	Jun 2, 2011 by Hayes
	I feel the need to share- sorry this is really long (Preview) Well I feel I need to share, get it off my chest or whatever we are going to call this...so here goes nothing :) I met my ABF just over a year ago. He actually worked for my husband. I was at a super low point in my life. A few months later I left my husband (this was in the works already for me) I ran into the arms...	devlynn	11	681	Jun 1, 2011 by pinkchip
	I'm back, beaten down and lost!!! (LONG) (Preview) I've been doing this for almost nine years, Left and went back, left and went back again and again. I feel as if I've burnt all my bridges with my family. I now am in my bedroom all the time except for work, which I am glad I have. No vechicle, my handicap brother is living us. requires assistant being fed, ge...	sisdragonfly1957	4	561	Jun 1, 2011 by Jennifer
	What to do when you have a little one? (Preview) So I'm new here, but not new to Al-Anon. I have been in & out of Al-Anon meetings over the years. And about 4 years ago, we finally split (for many reasons, not just his alcoholism) He got better, I got better, and we got back together. I thought I'd never have to deal with this again, but it reared its ug...	annemarieski	10	706	Jun 1, 2011 by stephaniej
	What do to tell people (Preview) I'll try to make this short.... When you all go to meetings what do you tell people? Simple question I am sure but not so simple for me. I've always been crazy open with my family and friends. However for many reasons I feel this however is none of thier business. When someone asks what I am doing or to d...	devlynn	7	905	Jun 1, 2011 by Jennifer
	Good things happen :) and a spiritual message... (Preview) Today I feel good. I had a good last few days actually. Even though bf drank Saturday, I didn't react and I remained calm. We had a good relaxed day actually and I took a lot of time to just be in the moment. I can be happy or I can get upset. Its a lot nicer to be happy. So Sunday and Monday were extra nice be...	youfoundme	2	1256	Jun 1, 2011 by youfoundme
	Glad I'm not alone... (Preview) I have been what you can call a wallflower to this message board for sometime...when things got really rough, I'd read though and take comfort that I'm not alone. I was a member a few years back, but lost the sign on info...never forgot the site. Anyway... Things have just gotten horrendous...He got a D...	dealingwithit	3	375	Jun 1, 2011 by canadianguy
	Asking for Much-Needed Prayers (Preview) If you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for my ex spouse. He was unable to attend our eldest son's wedding yesterday because he was ill. Whether he was actually sick or just to humiliated to attend, I do not know. I'm beyond the point to try to see the truth. I did attend the wedding; it was hel...	GailMichelle	9	983	Jun 1, 2011 by White Rabbit
	How Do You Define the Word: Selfish? (Preview) Since beginning meetings, I've pondered the definition of the word "selfish." I haven't looked in any dictionary, but I've thought a lot about my understanding of the word through my experiences. This past weekend, my ex has been going through hell with his delusions once again. It'...	GailMichelle	7	3920	Jun 1, 2011 by kitty
	I AM FINISHED ENABLING (Preview) The last day for my son (over 21) to be here was yesterday, he came by after a long weekend w/his girlfriend/buddy, to pick up the tent etc. I told him to leave the keys and that he could keep his belongings in my little cabin, until he found a place. He is not happy because I am "kicking" him out. H...	oldergal	4	605	Jun 1, 2011 by Katy
	Maintaining my serenity (Preview) Hi. I am a very grateful member of Al-Anon. This evening my A tried to (it seemed to me) goad me into entering a discussion which would soon escalate into some form of verbal confrontation. She'd been drinking upstairs and I was waiting to actually see if she had been drinking, after she'd spoken a few s...	jitsuka	4	584	May 31, 2011 by chinup
	One day at a time.... (Preview) Where to begin...first off I'm new to this website. I am reaching out for support from others. My fiance and I have been together for 4 1/2 years but only lived with one another for a year now. I have two kids in past relationship so I never spent the night at his house when we were dating. I didn't know h...	Nico22	4	530	May 31, 2011 by Nico22
	wonderful posts (Preview) just wanna say i love all of these posts,ive learned a gr8t deal,ty all and i love each and everyone of u.	chinup	2	405	May 31, 2011 by GailMichelle
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.