Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jennifer · Jennifer

I am so frustrated today. I have lost and chosen to lose many friends and my exAH to addiction behavior I am unable to live with. I live simply and pretty isolated except for a couple of handfuls of people who know alot of my daily life. Of those people roughly 5 know about the nonnarcotic medications I ha...

jamfu · jamfu

I read a reply to one of your posts. "The Alcoholic lies, cheats, manipulates, rationalizes his or her drink behaviors, argues, is selfish, is self-centered, is not trustworthy, guilty and the list can go on and on. The alcoholic is a mess spiritually, mentally and physically. The alcoholic i...

jamfu · jamfu

Thank you all for your posts. About the third time she relapsed I started going to meetings at a local church. But I was not ready then, and it was somewhat a bargain with her. You go to AA, and I'll go to al-anon. It will go away, and I'll never forget the lesson. I found you guys for a reason i suppose. I am re...

dotmeg · dotmeg

This is my first time posting. My husband will be getting out of jail (again) soon because of charges related to his drug addiction. This last time he has been in for approximately 10 months. He moved out almost 4 years ago and we have been legally separated (not divorced) for 3 years. We have 2 chil...

devlynn · devlynn

Howdy! Ok step one : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Pretty straight forward i guess... Well not so much...(I am the analogy queen just so you know this now lol) If i want to make brownies i turn the box around and read the directions. I follow them and i g...

flopadopilus · flopadopilus

I had court yesterday and I figured I could use a counseling session afterwards. So as I was talking about the day with exAH and how he has hardly worked due to his drinking and needing to sleep it off until noon that resulted in him not having to pay child support. Which i didn't even go after him for child s...

oldergal · oldergal

Could someone please explain what actually happens when a person who has been drinking alcohol has a blackout. Can someone who just starting drinking have a blackout?Does it only happen to someone who is progressed in alcoholism? Is it the amount of booze they drink? All responses are appreciated....

chinup · chinup

just what i needed to hear if u read my posts ive left on here youll understand why,and if u have time do plz read my post.its not easy for me at all but ive got to really get to working harder on my recovery before im doomed,ty agin for yur post and do keep coming back,ill be looking for yur posts......chinup...

Hayes · Hayes

Honestly - this is just a vent. I have to do it as I am losing it this very minute. Peak hour/dinner time/bed time in the family home. He had drunk one bottle of wine onto the next. He thinks he's funny and I don't know what - I just find it unsettling, loud, boistourous (sp?) and just generally not conducive...

jamfu · jamfu

Over the last several years my girlfriend has put herself in harms way everytime she had a drink. From falling flat one her face to driving blacked out. It is kind of a long story, but i am sure everyone's is. It went on too long with her doing something really stupid like hitting me, to where i shut down emo...

biglee · biglee

Greetings everyone... I am new to the boards, new to al-anon, and fairly new to relating to an alcoholic. My fiancee and I met in HS, and after 20 some years re-met. Fell fast in love, and after six months, moved in with one another. I knew he drank some, but not as much as I later discovered. After a serie...

devlynn · devlynn

I used to be good at ignoring signs, unless of course they smacked right in the head. Well I have been asking my HP to please give me signs and help me on what I should do about my ABF. (I posted my story about him and I and he is currently in jail) I have been talking to my sister and sharing all the details o...

chinup · chinup

my a,b/f dont live here i wont let him 1st of all,he says he loves me so so so much,he sounds so sicere like its coming from down deep in his heart,but in the beginning 3 yrs ago he used people for all they was worth he sucked the life out of me almost ,untill i put a stop to it now he lives with his boss and his fami...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Maybe you guys can help me see this in a different way? After the meeting ended the other night, we were all chatting a bit. An older man came up to me and said "Why don't you leave that bad guy of yours and find a nice guy, theres plenty out there?" I responded meekly, because I didn't know wha...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I changed from my grandsons pic as my avatar to a slug! hahahaha deb

Party of Five · Party of Five

Hi, Im PoF and Im a newbie.I wont go into the details of how I ended up here, only that once upon a time I had the perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect home, perfect lifeand alcoholism took most of that away from me.After (too many) years of attempting to help/support/cure/coerce my ex-husband into r...

Otie · Otie

Dear linbaba, I just read the post you made to Katy ("learning to love the person"). I feel that there are some message in there that are so well explained and would be of great help to a fledgling like myself. Would it be possible for you to make it a whole thread within itself (by special requ...

sdisnie · sdisnie

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14696-overcoming-the-need-to-fix/

jenel25 · jenel25

Over the past few years my husband's alcoholism has gotten much worse. My daughter is nearly 7 and by now I know she realizes that sometimes daddy's drinking makes me very unhappy, and I think she's just beginning to realize that when he behaves obnoxiously it has something to do with his drinking bee...

Evian · Evian

So, had court today. When AH found out that he was not going to be allowed to come back home, he freaked. Started getting irate with me, and telling me that I didn't support him at all in this whole thing. According to him, my lawyer, my counsellor and the CAS are all wrong, and I am scared of all of them, and w...

RLC · RLC

A man was walking along a rocky path overlooking a canyon hundreds of feet below when he slipped on the loose rock and fell straight down. He was lucky to grab hold of one small vine as he was falling and held on for dear life. He realized the small vine would not support him for long so he yelled at th...

Jerry F · Jerry F

is being teachable Jerry F", my elder sponsor taught me while I was working thru powerlessness and using rationalizations to decide what I work on and what I don't work on in recovery. I had a sponsor and was trying to do it my way anyway. I don't know exactly what lesson I was objecting to and mayb...

John · John

Good Morning Family and Friends! Today I am going to do Extreme Facial Exercise. All it requires is that I walk around all day with a big smile on my face.

clep · clep

I run a day home where I care for multiple children. Yesterday I was sick but worked anyways so parents would not have to find alternate care in the morning. I did let them know I would not be working today. I am still sick and cannot care for multiple children without strain on me physically. I sent an...

Suzannah · Suzannah

Good evening folks, Yes it's me again, just checking in. I have been in plaster yet again and found myself very limited in what I could do. I have also battled with cabin-fever again but at last I am out of plaster and able to get around a bit better albeit still on crutches. I am not out of the woods yet. ...

John · John

I was asked to help a woman find and buy a car, so I went on craigslist, and knowing she didn't have much money, and I'd probably have to help out with some money, I put in a low maximum price. Several came up, but they all needed alot of work. I kept going through the sale ads, and suddenly one ad stuck out....

Corgi2 · Corgi2

I recently found out that someone I work with is an alcoholic. I have always had such a great relationship with her; and finding out that she's in recovery only makes me respect her more. I love that I can go to her with my issues and know that she understands. It also helps because she is on the other side; s...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Beyond frustrated and I'm tearing ready to cry and go throw a tantrum out in my back yard. Another death to alcohol...another innocent victim run over and dragged beneath the van of a drunk until dead; not a native sun a student at our local college from Texas. I want to storm the legislature and screa...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am not sure if I am doing this right, but I am reading from One Day at a time and this Today's Reminder really sticks out for me: "I will clear out of my life and mind all the tools of destruction I have been using. I know they can do nothing to improve my situation. I will make myself learn to use a new s...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hello all....well today is my ABF's bday and I wanted to have a nice day. He hasn't been drinking for the past couple of months, but today he sent me a text message telling me that he is having a party on saturday and asked what I thought about him drinking. Everything went numb. I don't know what to do anymo...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

This past weekend, my wife and I took our kids to a bounce house. For those who are not familiar, bounce houses are basically large warehouses filled with giant inflatable bouncing things, slides, etc. Our kids love them, as do all kids. I only wish they had them when I was younger! Anyway, we love seein...

Jozie · Jozie

This past Weekend...My Husband & I were the only ones to go on the Kayaks, and I had never floated that area of River Before & the Veiws were Breathe Taking... I got to See 3 Bald Eagles, 1 Baby Bald Eagle, and Critters Gallore... You know when I am sitting out on a River by myself, & My Husband i...

devlynn · devlynn

Well I feel I need to share, get it off my chest or whatever we are going to call this...so here goes nothing :) I met my ABF just over a year ago. He actually worked for my husband. I was at a super low point in my life. A few months later I left my husband (this was in the works already for me) I ran into the arms...

sisdragonfly1957 · sisdragonfly1957

I've been doing this for almost nine years, Left and went back, left and went back again and again. I feel as if I've burnt all my bridges with my family. I now am in my bedroom all the time except for work, which I am glad I have. No vechicle, my handicap brother is living us. requires assistant being fed, ge...

annemarieski · annemarieski

So I'm new here, but not new to Al-Anon. I have been in & out of Al-Anon meetings over the years. And about 4 years ago, we finally split (for many reasons, not just his alcoholism) He got better, I got better, and we got back together. I thought I'd never have to deal with this again, but it reared its ug...

devlynn · devlynn

I'll try to make this short.... When you all go to meetings what do you tell people? Simple question I am sure but not so simple for me. I've always been crazy open with my family and friends. However for many reasons I feel this however is none of thier business. When someone asks what I am doing or to d...

youfoundme · youfoundme

Today I feel good. I had a good last few days actually. Even though bf drank Saturday, I didn't react and I remained calm. We had a good relaxed day actually and I took a lot of time to just be in the moment. I can be happy or I can get upset. Its a lot nicer to be happy. So Sunday and Monday were extra nice be...

dealingwithit · dealingwithit

I have been what you can call a wallflower to this message board for sometime...when things got really rough, I'd read though and take comfort that I'm not alone. I was a member a few years back, but lost the sign on info...never forgot the site. Anyway... Things have just gotten horrendous...He got a D...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

If you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for my ex spouse. He was unable to attend our eldest son's wedding yesterday because he was ill. Whether he was actually sick or just to humiliated to attend, I do not know. I'm beyond the point to try to see the truth. I did attend the wedding; it was hel...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Since beginning meetings, I've pondered the definition of the word "selfish." I haven't looked in any dictionary, but I've thought a lot about my understanding of the word through my experiences. This past weekend, my ex has been going through hell with his delusions once again. It'...

oldergal · oldergal

The last day for my son (over 21) to be here was yesterday, he came by after a long weekend w/his girlfriend/buddy, to pick up the tent etc. I told him to leave the keys and that he could keep his belongings in my little cabin, until he found a place. He is not happy because I am "kicking" him out. H...

jitsuka · jitsuka

Hi. I am a very grateful member of Al-Anon. This evening my A tried to (it seemed to me) goad me into entering a discussion which would soon escalate into some form of verbal confrontation. She'd been drinking upstairs and I was waiting to actually see if she had been drinking, after she'd spoken a few s...

Nico22 · Nico22

Where to begin...first off I'm new to this website. I am reaching out for support from others. My fiance and I have been together for 4 1/2 years but only lived with one another for a year now. I have two kids in past relationship so I never spent the night at his house when we were dating. I didn't know h...

chinup · chinup

just wanna say i love all of these posts,ive learned a gr8t deal,ty all and i love each and everyone of u.

chinup · chinup

thanks for yur help ann ,i still cant figure this one out ive tried everything,lol i just wonder if the emails r coming off of a old account cause ive deleted several accounts and started new ones and every time i did it was still there even with the new accounts,i need help plz....chinup

Chelle3 · Chelle3

I'm trying to let go of resentments today, but am so far highly unsuccessful. My husband is actively drinking, but trying to gain some better coping skills in hopes that he won't have to rely on alcohol as much. He's also getting therapy and we are in marriage counseling which I applaud him for. One posi...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

This weekend has been one of the hardest in a long time. As some of you may know by reading my post from yesterday that my ex-AH is suffering from hallucinations again. This time he thinks that I had sex with one of his brothers the night of our eldest son's wedding. The ex lives on the same property as t...

sdisnie · sdisnie

In taking care of myself, and only working on myself and being there for my children, I have been able to completely block out the ExA in my life, he tries everything he can to get my goat and I just ignore it all.....the emails, the texts, and I never let him know how I'm feeling deep inside. He must think I...

TheJeanGenie · TheJeanGenie

Hi all, I was just wondering if anyone had any ES&H to share on the topic of anxiety and depression in the morning? I have this peculiar feeling, particularly on Mondays, a feeling of impending doom and hopelessness. I hate to get up. I normally try at least to do my daily reading, in an attempt t...

chinup · chinup

its all still going into my email,,,,says noreply@activeboard....new post in?how do i get this to stop.ty muches for yur help....chinup

Jennifer · Jennifer

Since I can not throw a get together and make you wear a paper plate hat with the present bows on top like my family of origin is prone to do ... I offer my congratulations. And a prayer, may your child be blessed and never want for the simple things in life. Jen

youfoundme · youfoundme

Ok, I just wanted to see what you do when that hormonal thing happens to you *every* month...how you handle that crankiness? Those that have already gone through the change, maybe you have some wisdom? And those that have worked the steps, do the hormones still affect you? I am just wondering becau...

MAR2011 · MAR2011

My A checked himself into the hospital Friday after a week of not drinking, he was still detoxing and having halucinations and losing blocks of time, snapping to in the strangest places. At the hospital, they 302'd him because he has been actively suicidal (not actually doing anything but going pla...

Evian · Evian

Hi everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend. So.. just a bit of an update. CAS has allowed AH to come home for the weekends, although it still has to be supervised. I was okay with it, even a little happy about it at first. I really needed his help with things. The first weekend was last weekend, and he came a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Danielle reminded me. Do you guys find it hard to listen to music as it brings back memor99ies when you and A were ok,or even great? I was/am a real music person. A was a great musician, and quite famous in his time. Sadly during a time when friends were dieing from being idiots drinking and doing heroin. A...

chinup · chinup

what setting in here (message board)do i go to to stop all the messageboard topics from going to my email.my email is bogged down i must have allowed a setting the other week and didnt know what i did,plz can anyone help me to reverse this mistake?

sdisnie · sdisnie

I felt attacked by a fellow al-anon member. I had a discussion earlier this week with a friend who told me his dad 'used' to be an alcoholic. I agrued with him that there is no 'used' to be, but he claims that his dad was but now in his late years can drink socially and control it. I've always heard that alc...

maresie · maresie

When I met the ex A I had already been in therapy and in some kind of 12 step program for a long time. I really felt like I had a lot of insight and a great deal of recovery. Indeed I had come a long long way in looking at my childhood issues. I was no longer in denial about my childhood was one where I was abused...

atheos · atheos

I decided to try sitting at a different table this week -- wow am I ever glad I did! They're incredible... I don't even know how to describe it, except to say that the energy there is just amazing. And they've hit the right balance -- they're not afraid to share when they're struggling, and they also share...

Katy · Katy

Our son is twenty he lives here at home, he is a sensative lad with an heart of gold, he is always ready to help anyone, is sociable and gentle, he's gulable and daft, he likes getting drunk though and has been out of his head three times this week already, last night he came staggering home just after midn...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Nothing personal to the nice horse but let me off (Preview) I am so frustrated today. I have lost and chosen to lose many friends and my exAH to addiction behavior I am unable to live with. I live simply and pretty isolated except for a couple of handfuls of people who know alot of my daily life. Of those people roughly 5 know about the nonnarcotic medications I ha...	Jennifer	3	427	Jun 5, 2011 by Otie
	to sdisne or anyone (Preview) I read a reply to one of your posts. "The Alcoholic lies, cheats, manipulates, rationalizes his or her drink behaviors, argues, is selfish, is self-centered, is not trustworthy, guilty and the list can go on and on. The alcoholic is a mess spiritually, mentally and physically. The alcoholic i...	jamfu	7	581	Jun 4, 2011 by sdisnie
	thank you (Preview) Thank you all for your posts. About the third time she relapsed I started going to meetings at a local church. But I was not ready then, and it was somewhat a bargain with her. You go to AA, and I'll go to al-anon. It will go away, and I'll never forget the lesson. I found you guys for a reason i suppose. I am re...	jamfu	2	373	Jun 4, 2011 by pineapple
	list of "boundaries" or "expectations" (Preview) This is my first time posting. My husband will be getting out of jail (again) soon because of charges related to his drug addiction. This last time he has been in for approximately 10 months. He moved out almost 4 years ago and we have been legally separated (not divorced) for 3 years. We have 2 chil...	dotmeg	10	6040	Jun 4, 2011 by abbyal
	Step Question (Preview) Howdy! Ok step one : We admitted we were powerless over alcohol that our lives had become unmanageable. Pretty straight forward i guess... Well not so much...(I am the analogy queen just so you know this now lol) If i want to make brownies i turn the box around and read the directions. I follow them and i g...	devlynn	5	529	Jun 4, 2011 by abbyal
	Narcissistic anyone? (Preview) I had court yesterday and I figured I could use a counseling session afterwards. So as I was talking about the day with exAH and how he has hardly worked due to his drinking and needing to sleep it off until noon that resulted in him not having to pay child support. Which i didn't even go after him for child s...	flopadopilus	6	2131	Jun 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Black Out (Preview) Could someone please explain what actually happens when a person who has been drinking alcohol has a blackout. Can someone who just starting drinking have a blackout?Does it only happen to someone who is progressed in alcoholism? Is it the amount of booze they drink? All responses are appreciated....	oldergal	7	581	Jun 4, 2011 by jamfu
	pinkchip ty for yur post (Preview) just what i needed to hear if u read my posts ive left on here youll understand why,and if u have time do plz read my post.its not easy for me at all but ive got to really get to working harder on my recovery before im doomed,ty agin for yur post and do keep coming back,ill be looking for yur posts......chinup...	chinup	0	280	Jun 4, 2011 by chinup
	Twists and Turns - Making me feel like i can't go on. (Preview) Honestly - this is just a vent. I have to do it as I am losing it this very minute. Peak hour/dinner time/bed time in the family home. He had drunk one bottle of wine onto the next. He thinks he's funny and I don't know what - I just find it unsettling, loud, boistourous (sp?) and just generally not conducive...	Hayes	12	440	Jun 4, 2011 by Hayes
	I need to talk to someone (Preview) Over the last several years my girlfriend has put herself in harms way everytime she had a drink. From falling flat one her face to driving blacked out. It is kind of a long story, but i am sure everyone's is. It went on too long with her doing something really stupid like hitting me, to where i shut down emo...	jamfu	5	1068	Jun 4, 2011 by jamfu
	Life after Rehab (newbie) (Preview) Greetings everyone... I am new to the boards, new to al-anon, and fairly new to relating to an alcoholic. My fiancee and I met in HS, and after 20 some years re-met. Fell fast in love, and after six months, moved in with one another. I knew he drank some, but not as much as I later discovered. After a serie...	biglee	8	597	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	Is it really a sign? (Preview) I used to be good at ignoring signs, unless of course they smacked right in the head. Well I have been asking my HP to please give me signs and help me on what I should do about my ABF. (I posted my story about him and I and he is currently in jail) I have been talking to my sister and sharing all the details o...	devlynn	8	524	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	confused (Preview) my a,b/f dont live here i wont let him 1st of all,he says he loves me so so so much,he sounds so sicere like its coming from down deep in his heart,but in the beginning 3 yrs ago he used people for all they was worth he sucked the life out of me almost ,untill i put a stop to it now he lives with his boss and his fami...	chinup	5	580	Jun 3, 2011 by sdisnie
	Something that is bothering me... (Preview) Maybe you guys can help me see this in a different way? After the meeting ended the other night, we were all chatting a bit. An older man came up to me and said "Why don't you leave that bad guy of yours and find a nice guy, theres plenty out there?" I responded meekly, because I didn't know wha...	youfoundme	11	549	Jun 3, 2011 by pinkchip
	I just realized (Preview) I changed from my grandsons pic as my avatar to a slug! hahahaha deb	Debilyn	7	403	Jun 3, 2011 by GailMichelle
	"Mourning" (and my introduction) (Preview) Hi, Im PoF and Im a newbie.I wont go into the details of how I ended up here, only that once upon a time I had the perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect home, perfect lifeand alcoholism took most of that away from me.After (too many) years of attempting to help/support/cure/coerce my ex-husband into r...	Party of Five	6	427	Jun 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Calling on linbaba/ "The Devil in a Sunday Dress" (Preview) Dear linbaba, I just read the post you made to Katy ("learning to love the person"). I feel that there are some message in there that are so well explained and would be of great help to a fledgling like myself. Would it be possible for you to make it a whole thread within itself (by special requ...	Otie	3	893	Jun 3, 2011 by linbaba
	For those of us who are fixers (Preview) http://www.livestrong.com/article/14696-overcoming-the-need-to-fix/	sdisnie	3	443	Jun 3, 2011 by youfoundme
	What should I tell my child? (Preview) Over the past few years my husband's alcoholism has gotten much worse. My daughter is nearly 7 and by now I know she realizes that sometimes daddy's drinking makes me very unhappy, and I think she's just beginning to realize that when he behaves obnoxiously it has something to do with his drinking bee...	jenel25	9	5238	Jun 3, 2011 by canadianguy
	Wowzers! (Preview) So, had court today. When AH found out that he was not going to be allowed to come back home, he freaked. Started getting irate with me, and telling me that I didn't support him at all in this whole thing. According to him, my lawyer, my counsellor and the CAS are all wrong, and I am scared of all of them, and w...	Evian	5	556	Jun 3, 2011 by canadianguy
	HUMOR Making A Point.......Let Go And Let God (Preview) A man was walking along a rocky path overlooking a canyon hundreds of feet below when he slipped on the loose rock and fell straight down. He was lucky to grab hold of one small vine as he was falling and held on for dear life. He realized the small vine would not support him for long so he yelled at th...	RLC	7	780	Jun 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	"Humility... (Preview) is being teachable Jerry F", my elder sponsor taught me while I was working thru powerlessness and using rationalizations to decide what I work on and what I don't work on in recovery. I had a sponsor and was trying to do it my way anyway. I don't know exactly what lesson I was objecting to and mayb...	Jerry F	5	1007	Jun 3, 2011 by Debilyn
	Today's Exercise (Preview) Good Morning Family and Friends! Today I am going to do *Extreme Facial Exercise.* All it requires is that I walk around all day with a big smile on my face.	John	4	488	Jun 2, 2011 by Jerry F
	I am so stressed. (Preview) I run a day home where I care for multiple children. Yesterday I was sick but worked anyways so parents would not have to find alternate care in the morning. I did let them know I would not be working today. I am still sick and cannot care for multiple children without strain on me physically. I sent an...	clep	11	558	Jun 2, 2011 by glad lee
	Sometimes YOU know best and if so, keep on badgering the powers that be until they listen to YOU. (Preview) Good evening folks, Yes it's me again, just checking in. I have been in plaster yet again and found myself very limited in what I could do. I have also battled with cabin-fever again but at last I am out of plaster and able to get around a bit better albeit still on crutches. I am not out of the woods yet. ...	Suzannah	1	435	Jun 2, 2011 by Jozie
	A God Story (Preview) I was asked to help a woman find and buy a car, so I went on craigslist, and knowing she didn't have much money, and I'd probably have to help out with some money, I put in a low maximum price. Several came up, but they all needed alot of work. I kept going through the sale ads, and suddenly one ad stuck out....	John	8	470	Jun 2, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Never thought of this..... (Preview) I recently found out that someone I work with is an alcoholic. I have always had such a great relationship with her; and finding out that she's in recovery only makes me respect her more. I love that I can go to her with my issues and know that she understands. It also helps because she is on the other side; s...	Corgi2	4	349	Jun 2, 2011 by GailMichelle
	I'm beyond sad, beyond angry (Preview) Beyond frustrated and I'm tearing ready to cry and go throw a tantrum out in my back yard. Another death to alcohol...another innocent victim run over and dragged beneath the van of a drunk until dead; not a native sun a student at our local college from Texas. I want to storm the legislature and screa...	Jerry F	18	785	Jun 2, 2011 by lacewing
	One Day at a time--January 17 page 17 (Preview) I am not sure if I am doing this right, but I am reading from One Day at a time and this Today's Reminder really sticks out for me: "I will clear out of my life and mind all the tools of destruction I have been using. I know they can do nothing to improve my situation. I will make myself learn to use a new s...	youfoundme	4	368	Jun 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	He asked permission to drink (Preview) Hello all....well today is my ABF's bday and I wanted to have a nice day. He hasn't been drinking for the past couple of months, but today he sent me a text message telling me that he is having a party on saturday and asked what I thought about him drinking. Everything went numb. I don't know what to do anymo...	Corgi2	10	507	Jun 2, 2011 by Corgi2
	Detachment (Preview) This past weekend, my wife and I took our kids to a bounce house. For those who are not familiar, bounce houses are basically large warehouses filled with giant inflatable bouncing things, slides, etc. Our kids love them, as do all kids. I only wish they had them when I was younger! Anyway, we love seein...	usedtobeanyer	8	877	Jun 2, 2011 by youfoundme
	Blessings Big & Small :) (Preview) This past Weekend...My Husband & I were the only ones to go on the Kayaks, and I had never floated that area of River Before & the Veiws were Breathe Taking... I got to See 3 Bald Eagles, 1 Baby Bald Eagle, and Critters Gallore... You know when I am sitting out on a River by myself, & My Husband i...	Jozie	3	888	Jun 2, 2011 by Hayes
	I feel the need to share- sorry this is really long (Preview) Well I feel I need to share, get it off my chest or whatever we are going to call this...so here goes nothing :) I met my ABF just over a year ago. He actually worked for my husband. I was at a super low point in my life. A few months later I left my husband (this was in the works already for me) I ran into the arms...	devlynn	11	645	Jun 1, 2011 by pinkchip
	I'm back, beaten down and lost!!! (LONG) (Preview) I've been doing this for almost nine years, Left and went back, left and went back again and again. I feel as if I've burnt all my bridges with my family. I now am in my bedroom all the time except for work, which I am glad I have. No vechicle, my handicap brother is living us. requires assistant being fed, ge...	sisdragonfly1957	4	523	Jun 1, 2011 by Jennifer
	What to do when you have a little one? (Preview) So I'm new here, but not new to Al-Anon. I have been in & out of Al-Anon meetings over the years. And about 4 years ago, we finally split (for many reasons, not just his alcoholism) He got better, I got better, and we got back together. I thought I'd never have to deal with this again, but it reared its ug...	annemarieski	10	669	Jun 1, 2011 by stephaniej
	What do to tell people (Preview) I'll try to make this short.... When you all go to meetings what do you tell people? Simple question I am sure but not so simple for me. I've always been crazy open with my family and friends. However for many reasons I feel this however is none of thier business. When someone asks what I am doing or to d...	devlynn	7	865	Jun 1, 2011 by Jennifer
	Good things happen :) and a spiritual message... (Preview) Today I feel good. I had a good last few days actually. Even though bf drank Saturday, I didn't react and I remained calm. We had a good relaxed day actually and I took a lot of time to just be in the moment. I can be happy or I can get upset. Its a lot nicer to be happy. So Sunday and Monday were extra nice be...	youfoundme	2	1198	Jun 1, 2011 by youfoundme
	Glad I'm not alone... (Preview) I have been what you can call a wallflower to this message board for sometime...when things got really rough, I'd read though and take comfort that I'm not alone. I was a member a few years back, but lost the sign on info...never forgot the site. Anyway... Things have just gotten horrendous...He got a D...	dealingwithit	3	340	Jun 1, 2011 by canadianguy
	Asking for Much-Needed Prayers (Preview) If you believe in the power of prayer, please pray for my ex spouse. He was unable to attend our eldest son's wedding yesterday because he was ill. Whether he was actually sick or just to humiliated to attend, I do not know. I'm beyond the point to try to see the truth. I did attend the wedding; it was hel...	GailMichelle	9	935	Jun 1, 2011 by White Rabbit
	How Do You Define the Word: Selfish? (Preview) Since beginning meetings, I've pondered the definition of the word "selfish." I haven't looked in any dictionary, but I've thought a lot about my understanding of the word through my experiences. This past weekend, my ex has been going through hell with his delusions once again. It'...	GailMichelle	7	3796	Jun 1, 2011 by kitty
	I AM FINISHED ENABLING (Preview) The last day for my son (over 21) to be here was yesterday, he came by after a long weekend w/his girlfriend/buddy, to pick up the tent etc. I told him to leave the keys and that he could keep his belongings in my little cabin, until he found a place. He is not happy because I am "kicking" him out. H...	oldergal	4	555	Jun 1, 2011 by Katy
	Maintaining my serenity (Preview) Hi. I am a very grateful member of Al-Anon. This evening my A tried to (it seemed to me) goad me into entering a discussion which would soon escalate into some form of verbal confrontation. She'd been drinking upstairs and I was waiting to actually see if she had been drinking, after she'd spoken a few s...	jitsuka	4	549	May 31, 2011 by chinup
	One day at a time.... (Preview) Where to begin...first off I'm new to this website. I am reaching out for support from others. My fiance and I have been together for 4 1/2 years but only lived with one another for a year now. I have two kids in past relationship so I never spent the night at his house when we were dating. I didn't know h...	Nico22	4	482	May 31, 2011 by Nico22
	wonderful posts (Preview) just wanna say i love all of these posts,ive learned a gr8t deal,ty all and i love each and everyone of u.	chinup	2	371	May 31, 2011 by GailMichelle
	still getting norply@activeboard new post in????its bogging my email down ,help (Preview) thanks for yur help ann ,i still cant figure this one out ive tried everything,lol i just wonder if the emails r coming off of a old account cause ive deleted several accounts and started new ones and every time i did it was still there even with the new accounts,i need help plz....chinup	chinup	5	822	May 31, 2011 by likemyheart
	Trying to let go of resentments... (Preview) I'm trying to let go of resentments today, but am so far highly unsuccessful. My husband is actively drinking, but trying to gain some better coping skills in hopes that he won't have to rely on alcohol as much. He's also getting therapy and we are in marriage counseling which I applaud him for. One posi...	Chelle3	15	564	May 31, 2011 by kitty
	How I've Preserved My Sanity This Weekend (Preview) This weekend has been one of the hardest in a long time. As some of you may know by reading my post from yesterday that my ex-AH is suffering from hallucinations again. This time he thinks that I had sex with one of his brothers the night of our eldest son's wedding. The ex lives on the same property as t...	GailMichelle	2	407	May 31, 2011 by Debilyn
	Where does one draw the line? (Preview) In taking care of myself, and only working on myself and being there for my children, I have been able to completely block out the ExA in my life, he tries everything he can to get my goat and I just ignore it all.....the emails, the texts, and I never let him know how I'm feeling deep inside. He must think I...	sdisnie	8	629	May 31, 2011 by maff52
	Impending doom - Anxiety in the morning, ES&H? (Preview) Hi all, I was just wondering if anyone had any ES&H to share on the topic of anxiety and depression in the morning? I have this peculiar feeling, particularly on Mondays, a feeling of impending doom and hopelessness. I hate to get up. I normally try at least to do my daily reading, in an attempt t...	TheJeanGenie	7	2854	May 30, 2011 by Jerry F
	still getting the same problem with my email being backed up (Preview) its all still going into my email,,,,says noreply@activeboard....new post in?how do i get this to stop.ty muches for yur help....chinup	chinup	1	365	May 30, 2011 by likemyheart
	Pssst White Rabbit (Preview) Since I can not throw a get together and make you wear a paper plate hat with the present bows on top like my family of origin is prone to do ... I offer my congratulations. And a prayer, may your child be blessed and never want for the simple things in life. Jen	Jennifer	3	465	May 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Ladies...question.... (Preview) Ok, I just wanted to see what you do when that hormonal thing happens to you every month...how you handle that crankiness? Those that have already gone through the change, maybe you have some wisdom? And those that have worked the steps, do the hormones still affect you? I am just wondering becau...	youfoundme	16	634	May 30, 2011 by youfoundme
	Maybe some light at the end of the tunnel... (Preview) My A checked himself into the hospital Friday after a week of not drinking, he was still detoxing and having halucinations and losing blocks of time, snapping to in the strangest places. At the hospital, they 302'd him because he has been actively suicidal (not actually doing anything but going pla...	MAR2011	3	397	May 30, 2011 by White Rabbit
	Court again this week (Preview) Hi everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend. So.. just a bit of an update. CAS has allowed AH to come home for the weekends, although it still has to be supervised. I was okay with it, even a little happy about it at first. I really needed his help with things. The first weekend was last weekend, and he came a...	Evian	6	451	May 30, 2011 by Evian
	Does music.... (Preview) Danielle reminded me. Do you guys find it hard to listen to music as it brings back memor99ies when you and A were ok,or even great? I was/am a real music person. A was a great musician, and quite famous in his time. Sadly during a time when friends were dieing from being idiots drinking and doing heroin. A...	Debilyn	9	557	May 30, 2011 by Debilyn
	problems with my email getting bogged down with mess.board topics (Preview) what setting in here (message board)do i go to to stop all the messageboard topics from going to my email.my email is bogged down i must have allowed a setting the other week and didnt know what i did,plz can anyone help me to reverse this mistake?	chinup	1	389	May 30, 2011 by canadianguy
	Wrong to ask questions? (Preview) I felt attacked by a fellow al-anon member. I had a discussion earlier this week with a friend who told me his dad 'used' to be an alcoholic. I agrued with him that there is no 'used' to be, but he claims that his dad was but now in his late years can drink socially and control it. I've always heard that alc...	sdisnie	17	1151	May 30, 2011 by sdisnie
	geting to the place of surrender (Preview) When I met the ex A I had already been in therapy and in some kind of 12 step program for a long time. I really felt like I had a lot of insight and a great deal of recovery. Indeed I had come a long long way in looking at my childhood issues. I was no longer in denial about my childhood was one where I was abused...	maresie	4	1154	May 30, 2011 by maryjane
	I love my new table! (Preview) I decided to try sitting at a different table this week -- wow am I ever glad I did! They're incredible... I don't even know how to describe it, except to say that the energy there is just amazing. And they've hit the right balance -- they're not afraid to share when they're struggling, and they also share...	atheos	5	351	May 30, 2011 by maryjane
	Learning to love the person! (Preview) Our son is twenty he lives here at home, he is a sensative lad with an heart of gold, he is always ready to help anyone, is sociable and gentle, he's gulable and daft, he likes getting drunk though and has been out of his head three times this week already, last night he came staggering home just after midn...	Katy	20	578	May 30, 2011 by Katy
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.