The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went down this road many years ago with my husband and daughters father John. Alcohol and drugs ended up taking his life 7 years ago May 5th. I went to meetings and worked the steps and before and after his death. Al-anon was a blessing for me and in many ways still helps me today, but I haven't worked the program in quite some time. To make a long story short my baby sister who for some time has had somewhat of a problem with alcohol and sever codependency of men that happne to be very abusive. She recently incorporated IV Meth to her resume. I love my sister very much and I'm trying so hard not to let my codependency rear its evil head, however; she is my baby sister and I've always been a mother figure to her due to issues with our own mother. She is currently in rehab, it took me getting guardianship of her children for her to feel she was at her bottom, but she is there and seems to be doing well. Long story short I'm back. Its such a grey line am I trying to control or being supportive? Ugh!! I want to be able to be supportive when she gets back and set healthy boundarys again as well as being supportive of my neice and nephew. God help me I am powerless over drugs and alcohol!! Wow this never gets any easier.
Dear Rindaroo. I am fairly new to MIP and certainly cannot speak with authority on alanon matters.
I am a human being, though---and on that authority it seems to me that there is a higher power at work thru you. You have been there for your sister when her mother couldn't. You are FAMILY in the true sense of the word in being there for her precious children.
Alanon and your HP will guide you the rest of the way.
I say God bless you!!! What you have born already shows me that you are an agent of Love. In my view you can be loving and supportive, and yet, not be enabling.
"God help me I am powerless over drugs and alcohol !! Wow it never gets any easier." But with the program and HP's help it will get better.
I'm happy you have some Al-Anon under your belt, and hope you will consider attending f2f meeting again. I bet there will be a chair waiting for you. It's the best thing you can do for yourself and in turn the your baby sisters children. Ask your HP for guidance.
I am in awe that you were courageous enough to take the children. I know that must have been difficult. For me to keep healthy and to be strong enough to have clear boundaries, I stay in the face to face rooms of Alanon.
I think that's right -- it never gets easier, but it does get clearer. The pain of watching someone controlled by addiction is so hard. Please remember to keep lots of good things in your life to counterbalance the sadness and difficulty. Hugs.
Welcome back home Rinda...The program has always been here for those who need it and want it more than the insanity of alcoholism and other addictions.
I also pray you will re-enter the face to face rooms of Al-Anon to reclaim your seat and your recovery and also to pass on to those in the rooms what it is like to reface the problem outside of the program.
It always gets worse...never better. I can attest to that because I was a bit of a retread myself. We don't go back to where we started but back to where we left off just as the alcoholic and addicts does also. We only have a daily reprieve.
Lots of the members will listen to you went you return to the rooms with your story because many have come to the thought that they don't need the program and can for several reasons muck it out by themselves or have the alcohol get sober and then save them.
I'm glad you came to MIP with your story. I'm grateful. ((((hugs))))
