Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

About a year or so ago, my wife and I had tickets to go to a concert at Radio City Music Hall in NY. Her all-time favorite artist was performing there and I bought her the tickets as an anniversary gift. She was so excited and even though I don't care for this artist much, I was excited as well. Anyway, the nig...

mslouise · mslouise

I get so mad sometimes, when I think of this disease.....when does it or things become just plain unacceptable, even if they have a disease??? Unacceptable for them to keep drinking....unaccetable for them to yell and belittle, not work, not care, not take care of their kids, not return the love we g...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

So.. since my AH left 2 weeks ago I have not heard from him. His dad came by to pick up some of his things. (makes you wonder how old he is huh he's 25) I explained to his dad the incident that had happened which led to him having to leave. Drunk shoved my mom. etc. I told his dad that if he doesn't let his son face...

Pushka · Pushka

Yes it is irrational anger because it's totally irrational to be angry at something that is a thing rather than a person. Even that can be irrational, at least I can pin point why I am angry. I am totally struggling with my anger at a truck .. lol. Yes I said it, yes I am angry at the truck. I know logicall...

Lyne · Lyne

Hi I'm Lyne. Not new to recovery, have just been absent for awhile. I'm gay and have been with my partner for almost 20 years. We got legally married a few years ago. She is addicted to alcohol, work, food, gambling, and lying. I'm able to cope really well some of the time. Since last Sunday when I ha...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Monday morning meeting for tomorrow as I have another medical test at the hospital and will not be able to arrive back home in time to chair the meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair for me. Thanks

Bradly · Bradly

http://www.npr.org/2011/06/23/137348338/compass-of-pleasure-why-some-things-feel-so-good?sc=fb&cc=fp

Freya · Freya

I have been working hard on my recovery, going to meetings each week and working the steps with my sponsor. My partner has been acting resentfully towards me for a while now. He blames me for his moods and the things he feels resentful about. I have been working hard not to be critical and controlling a...

countrygirl14437 · countrygirl14437

I have previosly had an addiction to alcholhol, i have been sober for almost 4 years, and recently one of my sons friends had been coming over and asked me to be friend his mother. Well with doing this we found ourselves together everyday all day. I watched her for 2 months drinking till drunk everyday...

hopeful411 · hopeful411

Im here to vent, to seek comfort, for someone just to tell me that it does get better! I have just started seeking out al-anon which i've learned of through my counselor. My abf's birthday was yester day we had good plans. It ended sadly! He came over and was fine then went into a rage taking it out on our 3 ye...

Otie · Otie

My sons are not allowed to come over to the house for any reason whatsoever if they have been drinking in the past 48hrs. (no hangover, or bad attitudes, irritability, etc...). Now, at the door, I warn them: "If you be sippin......I be trippin!". They seem to get the idea better with the hu...

Rhi · Rhi

Hi all It's the first time that I've chaired a meeting for a month and tomorrow is my last chair meeting before I hand over to someone else. I'm looking for a good discussion topic, ideally I'd like to write questions/statements surrounding the topic on to pieces of paper and have members pick a questio...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, I did not make the Sunday meeting, did not make my regular Tuesday meeting. I did make the Thursday f2f meeting though. I'm very glad I did wonderful people, small intimate group. I still am without a sponsor that's ok because I am still doing the work. I figure that is what will count down the r...

Jeff · Jeff

My soon to be ex got home on saturday from Hazeldon. She was met here by here convicted felon, pill pushing boyfriend. She spent 7 hours in three days with my three boys. The entire time I received emails, texts and calls blaming me for the divorce and everything else wrong in her life. She ultimatel...

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

I'm off for the summer, the kids are home too, it's Saturday and AW in recovery has been all worked up and stressed "because everyone is home." Last summer when we were home it was just me and the kids most of the time because my wife was in her first 30 days of sobriety and out of her mind, attend...

Brooke · Brooke

Ive been trying to prepare emotionally and in knowledge in advance for the "slip",didnt think the bottle would be back quite so soon, even thou A had talked of "experimenting"with it again. I guessed he'd brought some home and hid it tonight, I went looking so I'd know if 'it&q...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I attended an online alanon meeting tonight, my first one. The subject was talking about taking care of yourself. I hear myself pretty much everyday telling clients (i'm a psych nurse for those of you that don't know) "you need to take this time and concentrate on you. you can't take care of anybo...

vizslame · vizslame

Ok, I am new. Well, sort of. I joined a face-to-face group about a full month ago...I have a sponsor who offered her services during an open group meeting after I shared some of my horrific life stories. I am not 100% sure about the expectations of a sponsor what should i expect from her and what she shou...

Courage · Courage

Hopefully a few of you who come to the chat meetings will read this. Because of a change in my schedule I will not be able to chair the Beginner's meeting tonight (6/25). Thank you and hope to see you at future online meetings. Take care. courage (Della)

Debilyn · Debilyn

OOps My son's AW figured out how to get into his email. He and I have written back and forth. I of course sounded like I do here. Thank goodness, but of course she still took it badly, afterall it was truths she never wants him to know. He said he didn't ever care, she should not have been reading his stuff. Bu...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

It has been a while since I posted anything but I am happy to say things are improving and there is hope. I am in the process of separation we still live together and I have been using the al anon tools and repeating and practicing do not react do not react over and over. Reaching for my Hp going to face2 face m...

hopeful411 · hopeful411

I am slowly starting to realize that not only does my ab have a problem but i have a problem as well. This codependent thing so many of you talk about i am starting to see. I feel very sad and emotional today! All of this is getting the best of me. I am attending a f2f meeting tonight....Im very nervous at t...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello Alanon family, just wanted to share where I am today. My daughter Shirley has been experiencing unexplained weight loss for weeks now. I've taken her to the doctors and noone knows the reason for the weight loss. She is still losing as we speak. Also, the doctors found a cyst on her ovaries. We hav...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My HP delivered a message LOUD AND CLEAR to me this morning and I am so incredibly grateful for it! My AH is a plumber. We live in a rental apartment. Our water pressure is amazing - we don't have a massager shower head but the water pressure is so great that our ordinary shower head delivers quite an int...

Ness · Ness

Just heard today that one of my Asons major enablers, drinking companion, has died of this hellish disease. He is a year older than my son (35) and he comes from the same small village we live in, they went to school together but they only got together last year through the disease...both homeless livi...

daisy31 · daisy31

Hello all, I am very thankful to have found this place. I just started attending Al-anon. I am really surprised at how much I actually like it. I never really wanted to open up to someone in person. I have always wanted to act like I have no problems. Well that is a joke because I have a lot lol. I haven...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

I'm not sure why I can't just be strong and not think about why my AH hasn't even bothered to call me since I told him to leave. I know it sounds stupid because I'm the one who told him to leave but once you sober up the next morning wouldn't you feel like "hey I messed up I'm sorry." but nope, no...

Katy · Katy

It's hard to stop acting as i have in the past, But with al-anons support, i can be the one to change the pattern. I can choose to do what i think is right------- for me. "you have to count on living every single day in a way you belive will make you feel good about your life-----" Katy x

poodlenoodle · poodlenoodle

First of all, hello! I'm happy there's an online al-anon board, I'm still not quite ready to go to an actual al-anon meeting, though I think I'm going to need to at some point soon. My mother used to be an alcoholic, then quit for a couple of years, and then began using crack cocaine. She's been using crack...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My husband is out and drunk. It is after midnight on a Wednesday. He attended his intensive outpatient therapy today and attended an AA meeting earlier this afternoon. For the first time since last September, he is drinking outside of our home. And he is very drunk - I can barely understand him when he c...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((((Roomies))))))Sorry this is so long..he he.. but I just had to! I had one of those moments today, that I thought I would share about. I was discussing a movie I watched with a friend, a movie called “Touching the Void” the true story of two men who had an adventure while trying to climb the Siul...

SylviaPlath · SylviaPlath

Dear all I would really appreciate some feedback I haven't spoken to my dad since Christmas Day and haven't seen him since October / November time. He is an alcoholic and the last two times I saw him or spoke with him were awful. He was drunk to the eyeballs, saying inappropriate stuff and itmade me feel...

Ruby · Ruby

I heard at a meeting "God bless my dr. and fill her with your love" for the last few days I've been saying this prayer for my A/A dr. I heard from my son and sis that she spent 4 days in jail for making threats to her condo mgr. and has to be moved by the !st. she has section 8, don't know if she is losin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi all, I haven't been around much. I've been experimenting with detaching. Exploring my thoughts and issues with alcohol and how I may misperceive things. A few folks on here had sent me some private messages suggesting to me that my dh didn't really have a problem with alcohol, that the problem w...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am doing pretty well. Tomorrow I am taking the kids and bf to the zoo about two hours from here in a big city. I am excited because I listened to my gut and decided to do the zoo trip instead of a Six Flags trip. I know now that I don't really like fun parks (overwhelming for me) and that I love zoos. Its a zo...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I wouldn't say that my current situation is caused by alcohol....it may stem from about a year ago when my husband wasn't working and was only drinking. We've been through some very tough financial times. We have been evicted from our apartment and are currently living at an extended stay hotel, whic...

glad lee · glad lee

Namaste ((my friends))For the past few days, I have been struggling big time. like, Higher power has been trying to show me some major things...Last Friday, I was angry about my employer's behavior. On Sunday, I was angry about my family's alcoholic behavior. On Monday, I was angry about my boy...

sarebaer · sarebaer

Since school has been out I have really enjoyed seeing my grandkids more. But summer also means ah drinking almost daily. I have a boundary that if he picks up a drink I am done for the day. I refuse to be around him period. Start new the next day.(only way to protect myself from his verbal attacks) . Works 8...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

In al anon we talk about how our qualifiers often have a distorted sense of reality. I feel like my AH is in that distorted realm right now but I can't be sure and I'm having a hard time being objective. I also feel like the current situation is one I've been trying so hard to avoid, steer clear of and be mindf...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

My A hubby has been in a binge for weeks and I have learned to live life on lifes terms. The things we once did together, I do them alone now. I moved on with my life and am happy about that. Yes, I miss hubby. It would be nice to have that normal life. However, as I see things and the direction they are going, it w...

ivanasinclair · ivanasinclair

Hello, My name is Ivana Sinclair and my husband is an alcoholic and a drug addict. He is in the United States Army, he is Airborne Infantry. He has a very hard job and he was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010, he has been back for 7 months. He started using cocaine just a few weeks after getting back from depl...

Mandagrl1 · Mandagrl1

Years ago, I went into a ridiculous pit of anxiety for a month or so. It was the worst Id ever experienced. At the time, my therapist thought it was delayed grief from my dad dying. I remember I started feeling agoraphobic. Didnt want to be inside or out, around people or alone. Thats creeping back i...

JLeigh · JLeigh

I've been here a few times to read, but have never posted. I guess I just need to feel like I am connecting with others that are dealing with similar issues :( I have a 25 year old son. He has had drug/alcohol problems since he was around the age of 16. He has never been to rehab, but did do outpatient couns...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I just signed up and made travel arrangements for an AA & Alanon mountain conference near the end of summer. I live in a large metropolitan city and have been so privileged to have attended many weekend local conferences for both programs that are just wonderful. This is my first time being away...

MDK · MDK

I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back..........Last night my husband and I were arguing a little bit last night. I know I shouldn't react or think is it really that important but it is like he knew exactly how to push my buttons. Sometimes I find it difficult not to react to something I feel so s...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Now that my AH is back home after 8 months working out of state with once-monthly visits home, I'm having a harder time staying aware of my own needs/wants without it escalating into a huge pity party that ruins my whole day/week. For example, when he was away I definitely had an awareness that our roma...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My higher power was listening. I've been reaching out, trying to find companionship and comfort. I went to one of my regular al anon meetings this evening. The speaker was a woman who I enjoy hearing very much. She is frequently the first to share after a qualification and never forgets to thank the spe...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So we finally decided that we need some time off. Even though my ABF has been taking plenty of time off while he's been partying. Alanon has certainly helped because it has been a month of hell and before I would have wanted an answer immediately....with the help of the program, I was able to wait it out un...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Here is to passing it on. I don't know the writer, but thought you guys would like a little laughter in your day. THE MATURITY PRAYER God, Grant me the maturity to accept what I'm feeling and the courage to correct the actions that I took that made me feel this wayP.S., God is showing off today Hugs to...

Schmuck22 · Schmuck22

My husband entered rehab 2 weeks ago in a 90 day program. We rely on letters to talk. I don't have any family in the country and relied on him a lot...too much I am finding out. My anxiety is at an all time high, and while going to a group once a week is helpful, it doesn't cure the lonely nights and affection he...

Katy · Katy

Well, we set boundaries which son broke, we didn't have a plan B, for me I was stumped and chose to say nothing I just read loads and practiced what you all teach me, it hurts lots, lots of turmoil and heavy heart, seems son chooses to sleep outside with no home comforts rather than repsceting our wishes, o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have no fathers, gpas are gone,uncles are gone, husbands are gone. BUT all were GREAT fathers, I was blessed. Daddy always WOOPED! after he dove into our pool as it was cold! We held boards for him as he built something like a fort or teeter totter. Grampa sang to us Johny comes marching home again and I'...

mslouise · mslouise

Good morning, I have seen a lot of posts about A-sons or daughters recently. As a mom of a 10 year son, how can I not wonder??? I was raised by an A, but I did not get the addictive "gene" they talk about..my ex-hubby was a drinker at one time, but has not drank in many many years but has that gene,...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I have been taking the next right steps in dealing with reports and doctors, using a lockbox, changing the locks, thinking logically about who has ever had access to my keys, telling my moostiff how glad I am he did not bite whoever it was in the butt because I would rather wonder forever than have him get...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Every holiday gets a little better, but it is still difficult for me not to feel a bit sad, envious, resentful, as each one rolls around that now my ex AH is sober and sharing the life that was supposed to be ours with someone else. Ouch! I gave him 18 years of my life and got gypped. Seems most people I kno...

tommyecat · tommyecat

To all of the dads on this site. I hope you have a wonderful day!

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

I had an ok father's day and I really had to use my al-anon skills today. My wife is 13 months in recovery from alcohol and pills and is working a program. She is also PMSing right now, which I think stands for "Permission to Mistreat Spouse." It's very hard. Holidays of any sort are hard fo...

javagirl67 · javagirl67

Hi..... New to this forum, or any forum.. But recognizing I do need folks I can relate and talk to.. desperately.. First let me start by saying I am an adult child of an alcoholic who is engaged to a 1 yr recovering alcohlic. I grew up as the "peace maker/doer" and still seem to hold that ro...

mslouise · mslouise

So I have drama with my family....I try to avoid while still maintaining some kind of relationship with them....it's hard....I was told by my sponser that when I start saying "no" to things and sticking up for myself, my family wouldn't like it too much. Problem with that is, your then lab...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My husband is struggling with his recovery. He made it 8 days sober then drank today. His outpatient program requires full disclosure but he doesn't want to tell them about his slip. I don't know if I should tell them. My husband thinks he'll get kicked out of the program if he tells. I don't thi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Last night... (Preview) About a year or so ago, my wife and I had tickets to go to a concert at Radio City Music Hall in NY. Her all-time favorite artist was performing there and I bought her the tickets as an anniversary gift. She was so excited and even though I don't care for this artist much, I was excited as well. Anyway, the nig...	usedtobeanyer	5	430	Jun 27, 2011 by Jerry F
	Unacceptable when?? (Preview) I get so mad sometimes, when I think of this disease.....when does it or things become just plain unacceptable, even if they have a disease??? Unacceptable for them to keep drinking....unaccetable for them to yell and belittle, not work, not care, not take care of their kids, not return the love we g...	mslouise	23	874	Jun 26, 2011 by hopeful411
	How do I detach? (Preview) So.. since my AH left 2 weeks ago I have not heard from him. His dad came by to pick up some of his things. (makes you wonder how old he is huh he's 25) I explained to his dad the incident that had happened which led to him having to leave. Drunk shoved my mom. etc. I told his dad that if he doesn't let his son face...	Betterfuture	6	871	Jun 26, 2011 by hopeful411
	Irrational Anger (Preview) Yes it is irrational anger because it's totally irrational to be angry at something that is a thing rather than a person. Even that can be irrational, at least I can pin point why I am angry. I am totally struggling with my anger at a truck .. lol. Yes I said it, yes I am angry at the truck. I know logicall...	Pushka	3	465	Jun 26, 2011 by hotrod
	First time to message board (Preview) Hi I'm Lyne. Not new to recovery, have just been absent for awhile. I'm gay and have been with my partner for almost 20 years. We got legally married a few years ago. She is addicted to alcohol, work, food, gambling, and lying. I'm able to cope really well some of the time. Since last Sunday when I ha...	Lyne	10	794	Jun 26, 2011 by Pushka
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG (Preview) I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Monday morning meeting for tomorrow as I have another medical test at the hospital and will not be able to arrive back home in time to chair the meeting. Hoping someone will be able to step-up and chair for me. Thanks	shimo	0	260	Jun 26, 2011 by shimo
	Science of Addiction and the Disease Model (Preview) http://www.npr.org/2011/06/23/137348338/compass-of-pleasure-why-some-things-feel-so-good?sc=fb&cc=fp	Bradly	3	827	Jun 26, 2011 by kitty
	Feeling lost and alone (Preview) I have been working hard on my recovery, going to meetings each week and working the steps with my sponsor. My partner has been acting resentfully towards me for a while now. He blames me for his moods and the things he feels resentful about. I have been working hard not to be critical and controlling a...	Freya	6	496	Jun 26, 2011 by Freya
	Freindship or Fo ? (Preview) I have previosly had an addiction to alcholhol, i have been sober for almost 4 years, and recently one of my sons friends had been coming over and asked me to be friend his mother. Well with doing this we found ourselves together everyday all day. I watched her for 2 months drinking till drunk everyday...	countrygirl14437	5	565	Jun 26, 2011 by All I can be
	done!!!! (Preview) Im here to vent, to seek comfort, for someone just to tell me that it does get better! I have just started seeking out al-anon which i've learned of through my counselor. My abf's birthday was yester day we had good plans. It ended sadly! He came over and was fine then went into a rage taking it out on our 3 ye...	hopeful411	7	685	Jun 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	"Sha-na-na" says: (Preview) My sons are not allowed to come over to the house for any reason whatsoever if they have been drinking in the past 48hrs. (no hangover, or bad attitudes, irritability, etc...). Now, at the door, I warn them: "If you be sippin......I be trippin!". They seem to get the idea better with the hu...	Otie	7	532	Jun 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Meeting Discussion Ideas?? (Preview) Hi all It's the first time that I've chaired a meeting for a month and tomorrow is my last chair meeting before I hand over to someone else. I'm looking for a good discussion topic, ideally I'd like to write questions/statements surrounding the topic on to pieces of paper and have members pick a questio...	Rhi	5	17476	Jun 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	Quick Update :) (Preview) Well, I did not make the Sunday meeting, did not make my regular Tuesday meeting. I did make the Thursday f2f meeting though. I'm very glad I did wonderful people, small intimate group. I still am without a sponsor that's ok because I am still doing the work. I figure that is what will count down the r...	Pushka	2	432	Jun 26, 2011 by tommyecat
	She lasted one day after treatment (Preview) My soon to be ex got home on saturday from Hazeldon. She was met here by here convicted felon, pill pushing boyfriend. She spent 7 hours in three days with my three boys. The entire time I received emails, texts and calls blaming me for the divorce and everything else wrong in her life. She ultimatel...	Jeff	20	789	Jun 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Lonely Today, Trying to Work My Program (Preview) I'm off for the summer, the kids are home too, it's Saturday and AW in recovery has been all worked up and stressed "because everyone is home." Last summer when we were home it was just me and the kids most of the time because my wife was in her first 30 days of sobriety and out of her mind, attend...	surfingmaestro	3	370	Jun 26, 2011 by youfoundme
	Vodka returned to our home tonight,after his suicide attempt 6wks ago, and 4weeks sobriety... (Preview) Ive been trying to prepare emotionally and in knowledge in advance for the "slip",didnt think the bottle would be back quite so soon, even thou A had talked of "experimenting"with it again. I guessed he'd brought some home and hid it tonight, I went looking so I'd know if 'it&q...	Brooke	8	774	Jun 26, 2011 by Brooke
	Taking care of myself (Preview) I attended an online alanon meeting tonight, my first one. The subject was talking about taking care of yourself. I hear myself pretty much everyday telling clients (i'm a psych nurse for those of you that don't know) "you need to take this time and concentrate on you. you can't take care of anybo...	Kristi136188	5	910	Jun 26, 2011 by Kristi136188
	everything... (Preview) Ok, I am new. Well, sort of. I joined a face-to-face group about a full month ago...I have a sponsor who offered her services during an open group meeting after I shared some of my horrific life stories. I am not 100% sure about the expectations of a sponsor what should i expect from her and what she shou...	vizslame	17	1117	Jun 25, 2011 by vizslame
	Saturday night MIP Al-Anon meeting (6/25) (Preview) Hopefully a few of you who come to the chat meetings will read this. Because of a change in my schedule I will not be able to chair the Beginner's meeting tonight (6/25). Thank you and hope to see you at future online meetings. Take care. courage (Della)	Courage	0	334	Jun 25, 2011 by Courage
	I have been snooped on.... (Preview) OOps My son's AW figured out how to get into his email. He and I have written back and forth. I of course sounded like I do here. Thank goodness, but of course she still took it badly, afterall it was truths she never wants him to know. He said he didn't ever care, she should not have been reading his stuff. Bu...	Debilyn	2	598	Jun 25, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Progress (Preview) It has been a while since I posted anything but I am happy to say things are improving and there is hope. I am in the process of separation we still live together and I have been using the al anon tools and repeating and practicing do not react do not react over and over. Reaching for my Hp going to face2 face m...	Crazy Frog	3	339	Jun 25, 2011 by RLC
	breaking (Preview) I am slowly starting to realize that not only does my ab have a problem but i have a problem as well. This codependent thing so many of you talk about i am starting to see. I feel very sad and emotional today! All of this is getting the best of me. I am attending a f2f meeting tonight....Im very nervous at t...	hopeful411	6	485	Jun 25, 2011 by Otie
	Concerned mother (Preview) Hello Alanon family, just wanted to share where I am today. My daughter Shirley has been experiencing unexplained weight loss for weeks now. I've taken her to the doctors and noone knows the reason for the weight loss. She is still losing as we speak. Also, the doctors found a cyst on her ovaries. We hav...	hawaiilover	8	558	Jun 25, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Taking Off Some of the Pressure (Preview) My HP delivered a message LOUD AND CLEAR to me this morning and I am so incredibly grateful for it! My AH is a plumber. We live in a rental apartment. Our water pressure is amazing - we don't have a massager shower head but the water pressure is so great that our ordinary shower head delivers quite an int...	Mlkiss75	6	634	Jun 25, 2011 by Loupiness
	A family needs our love (Preview) Just heard today that one of my Asons major enablers, drinking companion, has died of this hellish disease. He is a year older than my son (35) and he comes from the same small village we live in, they went to school together but they only got together last year through the disease...both homeless livi...	Ness	7	2390	Jun 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Im new here (Preview) Hello all, I am very thankful to have found this place. I just started attending Al-anon. I am really surprised at how much I actually like it. I never really wanted to open up to someone in person. I have always wanted to act like I have no problems. Well that is a joke because I have a lot lol. I haven...	daisy31	7	655	Jun 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	still dwelling (Preview) I'm not sure why I can't just be strong and not think about why my AH hasn't even bothered to call me since I told him to leave. I know it sounds stupid because I'm the one who told him to leave but once you sober up the next morning wouldn't you feel like "hey I messed up I'm sorry." but nope, no...	Betterfuture	7	497	Jun 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	courage to change february 1st (Preview) It's hard to stop acting as i have in the past, But with al-anons support, i can be the one to change the pattern. I can choose to do what i think is right------- for me. "you have to count on living every single day in a way you belive will make you feel good about your life-----" Katy x	Katy	2	577	Jun 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Guilt (ps. Hi, I'm new to the board) (Preview) First of all, hello! I'm happy there's an online al-anon board, I'm still not quite ready to go to an actual al-anon meeting, though I think I'm going to need to at some point soon. My mother used to be an alcoholic, then quit for a couple of years, and then began using crack cocaine. She's been using crack...	poodlenoodle	8	675	Jun 24, 2011 by pinkchip
	Acceptance (Preview) My husband is out and drunk. It is after midnight on a Wednesday. He attended his intensive outpatient therapy today and attended an AA meeting earlier this afternoon. For the first time since last September, he is drinking outside of our home. And he is very drunk - I can barely understand him when he c...	Mlkiss75	8	685	Jun 24, 2011 by stephaniej
	Cutting the Rope (Preview) Hello ((((((Roomies))))))Sorry this is so long..he he.. but I just had to! I had one of those moments today, that I thought I would share about. I was discussing a movie I watched with a friend, a movie called “Touching the Void” the true story of two men who had an adventure while trying to climb the Siul...	david62	19	890	Jun 23, 2011 by poodlenoodle
	Feeling bad about cutting ties with my alcoholic dad (Preview) Dear all I would really appreciate some feedback I haven't spoken to my dad since Christmas Day and haven't seen him since October / November time. He is an alcoholic and the last two times I saw him or spoke with him were awful. He was drunk to the eyeballs, saying inappropriate stuff and itmade me feel...	SylviaPlath	6	2979	Jun 23, 2011 by poodlenoodle
	Prayer for courage (Preview) I heard at a meeting "God bless my dr. and fill her with your love" for the last few days I've been saying this prayer for my A/A dr. I heard from my son and sis that she spent 4 days in jail for making threats to her condo mgr. and has to be moved by the !st. she has section 8, don't know if she is losin...	Ruby	4	676	Jun 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Update on me (Preview) Hi all, I haven't been around much. I've been experimenting with detaching. Exploring my thoughts and issues with alcohol and how I may misperceive things. A few folks on here had sent me some private messages suggesting to me that my dh didn't really have a problem with alcohol, that the problem w...	ilovedogs	3	582	Jun 23, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Last few days (Preview) I am doing pretty well. Tomorrow I am taking the kids and bf to the zoo about two hours from here in a big city. I am excited because I listened to my gut and decided to do the zoo trip instead of a Six Flags trip. I know now that I don't really like fun parks (overwhelming for me) and that I love zoos. Its a zo...	youfoundme	6	519	Jun 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trying to work on step 3 with all my problems... (Preview) I wouldn't say that my current situation is caused by alcohol....it may stem from about a year ago when my husband wasn't working and was only drinking. We've been through some very tough financial times. We have been evicted from our apartment and are currently living at an extended stay hotel, whic...	Kristi136188	8	994	Jun 23, 2011 by glad lee
	sitting tight with the truth (Preview) Namaste ((my friends))For the past few days, I have been struggling big time. like, Higher power has been trying to show me some major things...Last Friday, I was angry about my employer's behavior. On Sunday, I was angry about my family's alcoholic behavior. On Monday, I was angry about my boy...	glad lee	4	695	Jun 23, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Am I being being over protective? (Preview) Since school has been out I have really enjoyed seeing my grandkids more. But summer also means ah drinking almost daily. I have a boundary that if he picks up a drink I am done for the day. I refuse to be around him period. Start new the next day.(only way to protect myself from his verbal attacks) . Works 8...	sarebaer	4	547	Jun 23, 2011 by youfoundme
	The roller coaster ride continues (Preview) In al anon we talk about how our qualifiers often have a distorted sense of reality. I feel like my AH is in that distorted realm right now but I can't be sure and I'm having a hard time being objective. I also feel like the current situation is one I've been trying so hard to avoid, steer clear of and be mindf...	Mlkiss75	8	683	Jun 22, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Expectations (Preview) My A hubby has been in a binge for weeks and I have learned to live life on lifes terms. The things we once did together, I do them alone now. I moved on with my life and am happy about that. Yes, I miss hubby. It would be nice to have that normal life. However, as I see things and the direction they are going, it w...	hawaiilover	10	690	Jun 22, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Trying to help my husband with addiction (Preview) Hello, My name is Ivana Sinclair and my husband is an alcoholic and a drug addict. He is in the United States Army, he is Airborne Infantry. He has a very hard job and he was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010, he has been back for 7 months. He started using cocaine just a few weeks after getting back from depl...	ivanasinclair	9	939	Jun 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Day 4 of Husband in rehab-Having a really, really bad day...Please help... (Preview) Years ago, I went into a ridiculous pit of anxiety for a month or so. It was the worst Id ever experienced. At the time, my therapist thought it was delayed grief from my dad dying. I remember I started feeling agoraphobic. Didnt want to be inside or out, around people or alone. Thats creeping back i...	Mandagrl1	9	726	Jun 22, 2011 by Red Hawk
	Hello.... (Preview) I've been here a few times to read, but have never posted. I guess I just need to feel like I am connecting with others that are dealing with similar issues :( I have a 25 year old son. He has had drug/alcohol problems since he was around the age of 16. He has never been to rehab, but did do outpatient couns...	JLeigh	7	686	Jun 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Conference (Preview) I just signed up and made travel arrangements for an AA & Alanon mountain conference near the end of summer. I live in a large metropolitan city and have been so privileged to have attended many weekend local conferences for both programs that are just wonderful. This is my first time being away...	tommyecat	7	456	Jun 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	falling back into old ways (Preview) I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back..........Last night my husband and I were arguing a little bit last night. I know I shouldn't react or think is it really that important but it is like he knew exactly how to push my buttons. Sometimes I find it difficult not to react to something I feel so s...	MDK	7	575	Jun 22, 2011 by MDK
	Walking the Line Between Self Awareness and Total Pity Party (Preview) Now that my AH is back home after 8 months working out of state with once-monthly visits home, I'm having a harder time staying aware of my own needs/wants without it escalating into a huge pity party that ruins my whole day/week. For example, when he was away I definitely had an awareness that our roma...	stephaniej	6	515	Jun 22, 2011 by kitty
	Chugging through one day at a time (Preview) My higher power was listening. I've been reaching out, trying to find companionship and comfort. I went to one of my regular al anon meetings this evening. The speaker was a woman who I enjoy hearing very much. She is frequently the first to share after a qualification and never forgets to thank the spe...	Mlkiss75	4	426	Jun 21, 2011 by Pushka
	Taking a break (Preview) So we finally decided that we need some time off. Even though my ABF has been taking plenty of time off while he's been partying. Alanon has certainly helped because it has been a month of hell and before I would have wanted an answer immediately....with the help of the program, I was able to wait it out un...	Corgi2	3	553	Jun 21, 2011 by parfait624
	Maturity Prayer (Preview) Here is to passing it on. I don't know the writer, but thought you guys would like a little laughter in your day. THE MATURITY PRAYER God, Grant me the maturity to accept what I'm feeling and the courage to correct the actions that I took that made me feel this wayP.S., God is showing off today Hugs to...	tommyecat	2	555	Jun 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	New to all of this... husband rehab anxiety depression (Preview) My husband entered rehab 2 weeks ago in a 90 day program. We rely on letters to talk. I don't have any family in the country and relied on him a lot...too much I am finding out. My anxiety is at an all time high, and while going to a group once a week is helpful, it doesn't cure the lonely nights and affection he...	Schmuck22	5	10710	Jun 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	Goodmorning mip, son update! (Preview) Well, we set boundaries which son broke, we didn't have a plan B, for me I was stumped and chose to say nothing I just read loads and practiced what you all teach me, it hurts lots, lots of turmoil and heavy heart, seems son chooses to sleep outside with no home comforts rather than repsceting our wishes, o...	Katy	3	423	Jun 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	Fathers are not just blood ones (Preview) I have no fathers, gpas are gone,uncles are gone, husbands are gone. BUT all were GREAT fathers, I was blessed. Daddy always WOOPED! after he dove into our pool as it was cold! We held boards for him as he built something like a fort or teeter totter. Grampa sang to us Johny comes marching home again and I'...	Debilyn	3	429	Jun 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	Kids (Preview) Good morning, I have seen a lot of posts about A-sons or daughters recently. As a mom of a 10 year son, how can I not wonder??? I was raised by an A, but I did not get the addictive "gene" they talk about..my ex-hubby was a drinker at one time, but has not drank in many many years but has that gene,...	mslouise	8	525	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Moving along (Preview) I have been taking the next right steps in dealing with reports and doctors, using a lockbox, changing the locks, thinking logically about who has ever had access to my keys, telling my moostiff how glad I am he did not bite whoever it was in the butt because I would rather wonder forever than have him get...	Jennifer	8	557	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Lots of recovery, but it still stings... (Preview) Every holiday gets a little better, but it is still difficult for me not to feel a bit sad, envious, resentful, as each one rolls around that now my ex AH is sober and sharing the life that was supposed to be ours with someone else. Ouch! I gave him 18 years of my life and got gypped. Seems most people I kno...	Loupiness	7	454	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Happy Father's Day (Preview) To all of the dads on this site. I hope you have a wonderful day!	tommyecat	5	476	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Today (Preview) I had an ok father's day and I really had to use my al-anon skills today. My wife is 13 months in recovery from alcohol and pills and is working a program. She is also PMSing right now, which I think stands for "Permission to Mistreat Spouse." It's very hard. Holidays of any sort are hard fo...	surfingmaestro	10	810	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Living with a recovering Alcoholic (Preview) Hi..... New to this forum, or any forum.. But recognizing I do need folks I can relate and talk to.. desperately.. First let me start by saying I am an adult child of an alcoholic who is engaged to a 1 yr recovering alcohlic. I grew up as the "peace maker/doer" and still seem to hold that ro...	javagirl67	8	2154	Jun 21, 2011 by javagirl67
	You try and do something nice (Preview) So I have drama with my family....I try to avoid while still maintaining some kind of relationship with them....it's hard....I was told by my sponser that when I start saying "no" to things and sticking up for myself, my family wouldn't like it too much. Problem with that is, your then lab...	mslouise	11	846	Jun 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Difficult decisions. (Preview) My husband is struggling with his recovery. He made it 8 days sober then drank today. His outpatient program requires full disclosure but he doesn't want to tell them about his slip. I don't know if I should tell them. My husband thinks he'll get kicked out of the program if he tells. I don't thi...	Mlkiss75	14	781	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.