Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Jeff · Jeff

My soon to be ex got home on saturday from Hazeldon. She was met here by here convicted felon, pill pushing boyfriend. She spent 7 hours in three days with my three boys. The entire time I received emails, texts and calls blaming me for the divorce and everything else wrong in her life. She ultimatel...

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

I'm off for the summer, the kids are home too, it's Saturday and AW in recovery has been all worked up and stressed "because everyone is home." Last summer when we were home it was just me and the kids most of the time because my wife was in her first 30 days of sobriety and out of her mind, attend...

Brooke · Brooke

Ive been trying to prepare emotionally and in knowledge in advance for the "slip",didnt think the bottle would be back quite so soon, even thou A had talked of "experimenting"with it again. I guessed he'd brought some home and hid it tonight, I went looking so I'd know if 'it&q...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I attended an online alanon meeting tonight, my first one. The subject was talking about taking care of yourself. I hear myself pretty much everyday telling clients (i'm a psych nurse for those of you that don't know) "you need to take this time and concentrate on you. you can't take care of anybo...

vizslame · vizslame

Ok, I am new. Well, sort of. I joined a face-to-face group about a full month ago...I have a sponsor who offered her services during an open group meeting after I shared some of my horrific life stories. I am not 100% sure about the expectations of a sponsor what should i expect from her and what she shou...

Courage · Courage

Hopefully a few of you who come to the chat meetings will read this. Because of a change in my schedule I will not be able to chair the Beginner's meeting tonight (6/25). Thank you and hope to see you at future online meetings. Take care. courage (Della)

Debilyn · Debilyn

OOps My son's AW figured out how to get into his email. He and I have written back and forth. I of course sounded like I do here. Thank goodness, but of course she still took it badly, afterall it was truths she never wants him to know. He said he didn't ever care, she should not have been reading his stuff. Bu...

Crazy Frog · Crazy Frog

It has been a while since I posted anything but I am happy to say things are improving and there is hope. I am in the process of separation we still live together and I have been using the al anon tools and repeating and practicing do not react do not react over and over. Reaching for my Hp going to face2 face m...

hopeful411 · hopeful411

I am slowly starting to realize that not only does my ab have a problem but i have a problem as well. This codependent thing so many of you talk about i am starting to see. I feel very sad and emotional today! All of this is getting the best of me. I am attending a f2f meeting tonight....Im very nervous at t...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello Alanon family, just wanted to share where I am today. My daughter Shirley has been experiencing unexplained weight loss for weeks now. I've taken her to the doctors and noone knows the reason for the weight loss. She is still losing as we speak. Also, the doctors found a cyst on her ovaries. We hav...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My HP delivered a message LOUD AND CLEAR to me this morning and I am so incredibly grateful for it! My AH is a plumber. We live in a rental apartment. Our water pressure is amazing - we don't have a massager shower head but the water pressure is so great that our ordinary shower head delivers quite an int...

Ness · Ness

Just heard today that one of my Asons major enablers, drinking companion, has died of this hellish disease. He is a year older than my son (35) and he comes from the same small village we live in, they went to school together but they only got together last year through the disease...both homeless livi...

daisy31 · daisy31

Hello all, I am very thankful to have found this place. I just started attending Al-anon. I am really surprised at how much I actually like it. I never really wanted to open up to someone in person. I have always wanted to act like I have no problems. Well that is a joke because I have a lot lol. I haven...

Betterfuture · Betterfuture

I'm not sure why I can't just be strong and not think about why my AH hasn't even bothered to call me since I told him to leave. I know it sounds stupid because I'm the one who told him to leave but once you sober up the next morning wouldn't you feel like "hey I messed up I'm sorry." but nope, no...

Katy · Katy

It's hard to stop acting as i have in the past, But with al-anons support, i can be the one to change the pattern. I can choose to do what i think is right------- for me. "you have to count on living every single day in a way you belive will make you feel good about your life-----" Katy x

poodlenoodle · poodlenoodle

First of all, hello! I'm happy there's an online al-anon board, I'm still not quite ready to go to an actual al-anon meeting, though I think I'm going to need to at some point soon. My mother used to be an alcoholic, then quit for a couple of years, and then began using crack cocaine. She's been using crack...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My husband is out and drunk. It is after midnight on a Wednesday. He attended his intensive outpatient therapy today and attended an AA meeting earlier this afternoon. For the first time since last September, he is drinking outside of our home. And he is very drunk - I can barely understand him when he c...

david62 · david62

Hello ((((((Roomies))))))Sorry this is so long..he he.. but I just had to! I had one of those moments today, that I thought I would share about. I was discussing a movie I watched with a friend, a movie called “Touching the Void” the true story of two men who had an adventure while trying to climb the Siul...

SylviaPlath · SylviaPlath

Dear all I would really appreciate some feedback I haven't spoken to my dad since Christmas Day and haven't seen him since October / November time. He is an alcoholic and the last two times I saw him or spoke with him were awful. He was drunk to the eyeballs, saying inappropriate stuff and itmade me feel...

Ruby · Ruby

I heard at a meeting "God bless my dr. and fill her with your love" for the last few days I've been saying this prayer for my A/A dr. I heard from my son and sis that she spent 4 days in jail for making threats to her condo mgr. and has to be moved by the !st. she has section 8, don't know if she is losin...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi all, I haven't been around much. I've been experimenting with detaching. Exploring my thoughts and issues with alcohol and how I may misperceive things. A few folks on here had sent me some private messages suggesting to me that my dh didn't really have a problem with alcohol, that the problem w...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am doing pretty well. Tomorrow I am taking the kids and bf to the zoo about two hours from here in a big city. I am excited because I listened to my gut and decided to do the zoo trip instead of a Six Flags trip. I know now that I don't really like fun parks (overwhelming for me) and that I love zoos. Its a zo...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

I wouldn't say that my current situation is caused by alcohol....it may stem from about a year ago when my husband wasn't working and was only drinking. We've been through some very tough financial times. We have been evicted from our apartment and are currently living at an extended stay hotel, whic...

glad lee · glad lee

Namaste ((my friends))For the past few days, I have been struggling big time. like, Higher power has been trying to show me some major things...Last Friday, I was angry about my employer's behavior. On Sunday, I was angry about my family's alcoholic behavior. On Monday, I was angry about my boy...

sarebaer · sarebaer

Since school has been out I have really enjoyed seeing my grandkids more. But summer also means ah drinking almost daily. I have a boundary that if he picks up a drink I am done for the day. I refuse to be around him period. Start new the next day.(only way to protect myself from his verbal attacks) . Works 8...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

In al anon we talk about how our qualifiers often have a distorted sense of reality. I feel like my AH is in that distorted realm right now but I can't be sure and I'm having a hard time being objective. I also feel like the current situation is one I've been trying so hard to avoid, steer clear of and be mindf...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

My A hubby has been in a binge for weeks and I have learned to live life on lifes terms. The things we once did together, I do them alone now. I moved on with my life and am happy about that. Yes, I miss hubby. It would be nice to have that normal life. However, as I see things and the direction they are going, it w...

ivanasinclair · ivanasinclair

Hello, My name is Ivana Sinclair and my husband is an alcoholic and a drug addict. He is in the United States Army, he is Airborne Infantry. He has a very hard job and he was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010, he has been back for 7 months. He started using cocaine just a few weeks after getting back from depl...

Mandagrl1 · Mandagrl1

Years ago, I went into a ridiculous pit of anxiety for a month or so. It was the worst Id ever experienced. At the time, my therapist thought it was delayed grief from my dad dying. I remember I started feeling agoraphobic. Didnt want to be inside or out, around people or alone. Thats creeping back i...

JLeigh · JLeigh

I've been here a few times to read, but have never posted. I guess I just need to feel like I am connecting with others that are dealing with similar issues :( I have a 25 year old son. He has had drug/alcohol problems since he was around the age of 16. He has never been to rehab, but did do outpatient couns...

tommyecat · tommyecat

I just signed up and made travel arrangements for an AA & Alanon mountain conference near the end of summer. I live in a large metropolitan city and have been so privileged to have attended many weekend local conferences for both programs that are just wonderful. This is my first time being away...

MDK · MDK

I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back..........Last night my husband and I were arguing a little bit last night. I know I shouldn't react or think is it really that important but it is like he knew exactly how to push my buttons. Sometimes I find it difficult not to react to something I feel so s...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Now that my AH is back home after 8 months working out of state with once-monthly visits home, I'm having a harder time staying aware of my own needs/wants without it escalating into a huge pity party that ruins my whole day/week. For example, when he was away I definitely had an awareness that our roma...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My higher power was listening. I've been reaching out, trying to find companionship and comfort. I went to one of my regular al anon meetings this evening. The speaker was a woman who I enjoy hearing very much. She is frequently the first to share after a qualification and never forgets to thank the spe...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

So we finally decided that we need some time off. Even though my ABF has been taking plenty of time off while he's been partying. Alanon has certainly helped because it has been a month of hell and before I would have wanted an answer immediately....with the help of the program, I was able to wait it out un...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Here is to passing it on. I don't know the writer, but thought you guys would like a little laughter in your day. THE MATURITY PRAYER God, Grant me the maturity to accept what I'm feeling and the courage to correct the actions that I took that made me feel this wayP.S., God is showing off today Hugs to...

Schmuck22 · Schmuck22

My husband entered rehab 2 weeks ago in a 90 day program. We rely on letters to talk. I don't have any family in the country and relied on him a lot...too much I am finding out. My anxiety is at an all time high, and while going to a group once a week is helpful, it doesn't cure the lonely nights and affection he...

Katy · Katy

Well, we set boundaries which son broke, we didn't have a plan B, for me I was stumped and chose to say nothing I just read loads and practiced what you all teach me, it hurts lots, lots of turmoil and heavy heart, seems son chooses to sleep outside with no home comforts rather than repsceting our wishes, o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I have no fathers, gpas are gone,uncles are gone, husbands are gone. BUT all were GREAT fathers, I was blessed. Daddy always WOOPED! after he dove into our pool as it was cold! We held boards for him as he built something like a fort or teeter totter. Grampa sang to us Johny comes marching home again and I'...

mslouise · mslouise

Good morning, I have seen a lot of posts about A-sons or daughters recently. As a mom of a 10 year son, how can I not wonder??? I was raised by an A, but I did not get the addictive "gene" they talk about..my ex-hubby was a drinker at one time, but has not drank in many many years but has that gene,...

Jennifer · Jennifer

I have been taking the next right steps in dealing with reports and doctors, using a lockbox, changing the locks, thinking logically about who has ever had access to my keys, telling my moostiff how glad I am he did not bite whoever it was in the butt because I would rather wonder forever than have him get...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Every holiday gets a little better, but it is still difficult for me not to feel a bit sad, envious, resentful, as each one rolls around that now my ex AH is sober and sharing the life that was supposed to be ours with someone else. Ouch! I gave him 18 years of my life and got gypped. Seems most people I kno...

tommyecat · tommyecat

To all of the dads on this site. I hope you have a wonderful day!

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

I had an ok father's day and I really had to use my al-anon skills today. My wife is 13 months in recovery from alcohol and pills and is working a program. She is also PMSing right now, which I think stands for "Permission to Mistreat Spouse." It's very hard. Holidays of any sort are hard fo...

javagirl67 · javagirl67

Hi..... New to this forum, or any forum.. But recognizing I do need folks I can relate and talk to.. desperately.. First let me start by saying I am an adult child of an alcoholic who is engaged to a 1 yr recovering alcohlic. I grew up as the "peace maker/doer" and still seem to hold that ro...

mslouise · mslouise

So I have drama with my family....I try to avoid while still maintaining some kind of relationship with them....it's hard....I was told by my sponser that when I start saying "no" to things and sticking up for myself, my family wouldn't like it too much. Problem with that is, your then lab...

Mlkiss75 · Mlkiss75

My husband is struggling with his recovery. He made it 8 days sober then drank today. His outpatient program requires full disclosure but he doesn't want to tell them about his slip. I don't know if I should tell them. My husband thinks he'll get kicked out of the program if he tells. I don't thi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Oh my...It has been awhile since I have been able to open up on MIP. I am so grateful that you all don't give up on me. I am recovering(still) from my trip to CA. I have so many regrets over what hap- pened while I was down there. I am sorry to say but the experience was not good & it is all my fault. I never ev...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

First I want to start off by thanking all of those who take the time to comment on my posts or send positive thoughts my way. It truly means the world to me. I read almost every single post on here...even if I don't respond to it; I still get something from each and every one of you. I was hoping for a little fee...

Kristi136188 · Kristi136188

My husband is recovering, which I've said before. I think alot of his drinking had to do more with his mental health problems....but then again it's like the question "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Our relationship is ok. It's not all great and romantic like it used to be, but it...

Aimee · Aimee

How do you practice forgiveness? Do you pray for the person you want to forgive? Would it be wrong to actually tell the person that you forgive them as a way of letting go? I had this idea pop into my head (after an excellent reply from Clep regarding my last post) about possibly doing a kind of reverse amme...

Aloha · Aloha

Hi everyone - I'm passing this along. Our Area Delegate shared this with our groups: The second podcast on Sponsorship has been posted on the al-anon.alateen.org Members' Web site. To access the podcasts, click on the "For Members & Groups" logo on the home page. Members from across...

Jeff · Jeff

My wife, soon to be ex, just returned from Hazeldon. Prior to seeking treatment she stepped outside of our vows, lost her job, and was beyond verbally abusive in our relationship. I had high hopes that she would return with a new perspective and we would raise our children together apart, but yet as a...

Jozie · Jozie

First Let me say that I want to Send a VERY Happy Fathers Day Out to our Gentlemen Here :0) I Do hope that you all managed to enjoy your Day because you are WORTH IT... So Happy Belated Fathers Day to You All =) For me it was Tough I Suppose, but it always is... 3rd Year without My Daddy-0

... But My Husband Re...

chinup · chinup

after all that my a,b/f has done to me and after 4 yrs of being togethera and all ive put out on him and money lots of that and allowing him to live on me and not work and not pay nothing and stayed tanked up on everything selling my scipts scripts to but his stuff and seeling my stuff to it with and here at the end...

Tattyhead · Tattyhead

Hi. Sorry - again another long gap since I have been in here. Life still not good in the Tattyhead household. AH has been in hospital again, having been vomiting blood, bleeding the other end and having acquired pneumonia just as an add-on. The miracle of modern medicine and all its interventions save...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hello to all: I am an Alanon member for the past 10 + years. I attend weekly meetings. However, I need all the help I can get from Alanon. I am married to an A husband for 36 years. He has been in and out of rehabs and still does not have recovery. Alanon is what keeps me together. I am unable to attend more than o...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Besides spilling marshmallows and brown sugar cooking it in the microwave, oh fun to clean up.Dog ran off with the towel and rags I was using cleaning it, spread sticky "everywhere." Was hot so I took a feather bed out to the bed glider on the deck, then it rained all night, The racoon is scrat...

Rora · Rora

I find for me that the acceptance of reality is a gradual process. Today, it is Fathers Day. My exaH now has restrictions put on him for supervised access of our son because of a recent police report indicating an attempted suicide. I made arrangments with exaH's grown daughter to pick up our son for F...

alexmaui · alexmaui

Someone from my meeting is also going to my church and my gym. We talk about general things when we are not in our meeting. But I have met her husband (her qualifier ) and she has met mine (ditto) I'm not sure how to act, but it feels like by NOT acknowledging each other we are behaving like we are ahsmed.......

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	She lasted one day after treatment (Preview) My soon to be ex got home on saturday from Hazeldon. She was met here by here convicted felon, pill pushing boyfriend. She spent 7 hours in three days with my three boys. The entire time I received emails, texts and calls blaming me for the divorce and everything else wrong in her life. She ultimatel...	Jeff	20	770	Jun 26, 2011 by Pushka
	Lonely Today, Trying to Work My Program (Preview) I'm off for the summer, the kids are home too, it's Saturday and AW in recovery has been all worked up and stressed "because everyone is home." Last summer when we were home it was just me and the kids most of the time because my wife was in her first 30 days of sobriety and out of her mind, attend...	surfingmaestro	3	352	Jun 26, 2011 by youfoundme
	Vodka returned to our home tonight,after his suicide attempt 6wks ago, and 4weeks sobriety... (Preview) Ive been trying to prepare emotionally and in knowledge in advance for the "slip",didnt think the bottle would be back quite so soon, even thou A had talked of "experimenting"with it again. I guessed he'd brought some home and hid it tonight, I went looking so I'd know if 'it&q...	Brooke	8	752	Jun 26, 2011 by Brooke
	Taking care of myself (Preview) I attended an online alanon meeting tonight, my first one. The subject was talking about taking care of yourself. I hear myself pretty much everyday telling clients (i'm a psych nurse for those of you that don't know) "you need to take this time and concentrate on you. you can't take care of anybo...	Kristi136188	5	893	Jun 26, 2011 by Kristi136188
	everything... (Preview) Ok, I am new. Well, sort of. I joined a face-to-face group about a full month ago...I have a sponsor who offered her services during an open group meeting after I shared some of my horrific life stories. I am not 100% sure about the expectations of a sponsor what should i expect from her and what she shou...	vizslame	17	1101	Jun 25, 2011 by vizslame
	Saturday night MIP Al-Anon meeting (6/25) (Preview) Hopefully a few of you who come to the chat meetings will read this. Because of a change in my schedule I will not be able to chair the Beginner's meeting tonight (6/25). Thank you and hope to see you at future online meetings. Take care. courage (Della)	Courage	0	311	Jun 25, 2011 by Courage
	I have been snooped on.... (Preview) OOps My son's AW figured out how to get into his email. He and I have written back and forth. I of course sounded like I do here. Thank goodness, but of course she still took it badly, afterall it was truths she never wants him to know. He said he didn't ever care, she should not have been reading his stuff. Bu...	Debilyn	2	577	Jun 25, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Progress (Preview) It has been a while since I posted anything but I am happy to say things are improving and there is hope. I am in the process of separation we still live together and I have been using the al anon tools and repeating and practicing do not react do not react over and over. Reaching for my Hp going to face2 face m...	Crazy Frog	3	324	Jun 25, 2011 by RLC
	breaking (Preview) I am slowly starting to realize that not only does my ab have a problem but i have a problem as well. This codependent thing so many of you talk about i am starting to see. I feel very sad and emotional today! All of this is getting the best of me. I am attending a f2f meeting tonight....Im very nervous at t...	hopeful411	6	468	Jun 25, 2011 by Otie
	Concerned mother (Preview) Hello Alanon family, just wanted to share where I am today. My daughter Shirley has been experiencing unexplained weight loss for weeks now. I've taken her to the doctors and noone knows the reason for the weight loss. She is still losing as we speak. Also, the doctors found a cyst on her ovaries. We hav...	hawaiilover	8	540	Jun 25, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Taking Off Some of the Pressure (Preview) My HP delivered a message LOUD AND CLEAR to me this morning and I am so incredibly grateful for it! My AH is a plumber. We live in a rental apartment. Our water pressure is amazing - we don't have a massager shower head but the water pressure is so great that our ordinary shower head delivers quite an int...	Mlkiss75	6	589	Jun 25, 2011 by Loupiness
	A family needs our love (Preview) Just heard today that one of my Asons major enablers, drinking companion, has died of this hellish disease. He is a year older than my son (35) and he comes from the same small village we live in, they went to school together but they only got together last year through the disease...both homeless livi...	Ness	7	2367	Jun 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Im new here (Preview) Hello all, I am very thankful to have found this place. I just started attending Al-anon. I am really surprised at how much I actually like it. I never really wanted to open up to someone in person. I have always wanted to act like I have no problems. Well that is a joke because I have a lot lol. I haven...	daisy31	7	640	Jun 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	still dwelling (Preview) I'm not sure why I can't just be strong and not think about why my AH hasn't even bothered to call me since I told him to leave. I know it sounds stupid because I'm the one who told him to leave but once you sober up the next morning wouldn't you feel like "hey I messed up I'm sorry." but nope, no...	Betterfuture	7	479	Jun 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	courage to change february 1st (Preview) It's hard to stop acting as i have in the past, But with al-anons support, i can be the one to change the pattern. I can choose to do what i think is right------- for me. "you have to count on living every single day in a way you belive will make you feel good about your life-----" Katy x	Katy	2	559	Jun 24, 2011 by tommyecat
	Guilt (ps. Hi, I'm new to the board) (Preview) First of all, hello! I'm happy there's an online al-anon board, I'm still not quite ready to go to an actual al-anon meeting, though I think I'm going to need to at some point soon. My mother used to be an alcoholic, then quit for a couple of years, and then began using crack cocaine. She's been using crack...	poodlenoodle	8	654	Jun 24, 2011 by pinkchip
	Acceptance (Preview) My husband is out and drunk. It is after midnight on a Wednesday. He attended his intensive outpatient therapy today and attended an AA meeting earlier this afternoon. For the first time since last September, he is drinking outside of our home. And he is very drunk - I can barely understand him when he c...	Mlkiss75	8	668	Jun 24, 2011 by stephaniej
	Cutting the Rope (Preview) Hello ((((((Roomies))))))Sorry this is so long..he he.. but I just had to! I had one of those moments today, that I thought I would share about. I was discussing a movie I watched with a friend, a movie called “Touching the Void” the true story of two men who had an adventure while trying to climb the Siul...	david62	19	871	Jun 23, 2011 by poodlenoodle
	Feeling bad about cutting ties with my alcoholic dad (Preview) Dear all I would really appreciate some feedback I haven't spoken to my dad since Christmas Day and haven't seen him since October / November time. He is an alcoholic and the last two times I saw him or spoke with him were awful. He was drunk to the eyeballs, saying inappropriate stuff and itmade me feel...	SylviaPlath	6	2957	Jun 23, 2011 by poodlenoodle
	Prayer for courage (Preview) I heard at a meeting "God bless my dr. and fill her with your love" for the last few days I've been saying this prayer for my A/A dr. I heard from my son and sis that she spent 4 days in jail for making threats to her condo mgr. and has to be moved by the !st. she has section 8, don't know if she is losin...	Ruby	4	660	Jun 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Update on me (Preview) Hi all, I haven't been around much. I've been experimenting with detaching. Exploring my thoughts and issues with alcohol and how I may misperceive things. A few folks on here had sent me some private messages suggesting to me that my dh didn't really have a problem with alcohol, that the problem w...	ilovedogs	3	559	Jun 23, 2011 by ilovedogs
	Last few days (Preview) I am doing pretty well. Tomorrow I am taking the kids and bf to the zoo about two hours from here in a big city. I am excited because I listened to my gut and decided to do the zoo trip instead of a Six Flags trip. I know now that I don't really like fun parks (overwhelming for me) and that I love zoos. Its a zo...	youfoundme	6	499	Jun 23, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trying to work on step 3 with all my problems... (Preview) I wouldn't say that my current situation is caused by alcohol....it may stem from about a year ago when my husband wasn't working and was only drinking. We've been through some very tough financial times. We have been evicted from our apartment and are currently living at an extended stay hotel, whic...	Kristi136188	8	974	Jun 23, 2011 by glad lee
	sitting tight with the truth (Preview) Namaste ((my friends))For the past few days, I have been struggling big time. like, Higher power has been trying to show me some major things...Last Friday, I was angry about my employer's behavior. On Sunday, I was angry about my family's alcoholic behavior. On Monday, I was angry about my boy...	glad lee	4	672	Jun 23, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Am I being being over protective? (Preview) Since school has been out I have really enjoyed seeing my grandkids more. But summer also means ah drinking almost daily. I have a boundary that if he picks up a drink I am done for the day. I refuse to be around him period. Start new the next day.(only way to protect myself from his verbal attacks) . Works 8...	sarebaer	4	525	Jun 23, 2011 by youfoundme
	The roller coaster ride continues (Preview) In al anon we talk about how our qualifiers often have a distorted sense of reality. I feel like my AH is in that distorted realm right now but I can't be sure and I'm having a hard time being objective. I also feel like the current situation is one I've been trying so hard to avoid, steer clear of and be mindf...	Mlkiss75	8	663	Jun 22, 2011 by Mlkiss75
	Expectations (Preview) My A hubby has been in a binge for weeks and I have learned to live life on lifes terms. The things we once did together, I do them alone now. I moved on with my life and am happy about that. Yes, I miss hubby. It would be nice to have that normal life. However, as I see things and the direction they are going, it w...	hawaiilover	10	670	Jun 22, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Trying to help my husband with addiction (Preview) Hello, My name is Ivana Sinclair and my husband is an alcoholic and a drug addict. He is in the United States Army, he is Airborne Infantry. He has a very hard job and he was deployed to Afghanistan in 2010, he has been back for 7 months. He started using cocaine just a few weeks after getting back from depl...	ivanasinclair	9	911	Jun 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Day 4 of Husband in rehab-Having a really, really bad day...Please help... (Preview) Years ago, I went into a ridiculous pit of anxiety for a month or so. It was the worst Id ever experienced. At the time, my therapist thought it was delayed grief from my dad dying. I remember I started feeling agoraphobic. Didnt want to be inside or out, around people or alone. Thats creeping back i...	Mandagrl1	9	706	Jun 22, 2011 by Red Hawk
	Hello.... (Preview) I've been here a few times to read, but have never posted. I guess I just need to feel like I am connecting with others that are dealing with similar issues :( I have a 25 year old son. He has had drug/alcohol problems since he was around the age of 16. He has never been to rehab, but did do outpatient couns...	JLeigh	7	670	Jun 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	Conference (Preview) I just signed up and made travel arrangements for an AA & Alanon mountain conference near the end of summer. I live in a large metropolitan city and have been so privileged to have attended many weekend local conferences for both programs that are just wonderful. This is my first time being away...	tommyecat	7	438	Jun 22, 2011 by tommyecat
	falling back into old ways (Preview) I feel like I take 2 steps forward and 3 steps back..........Last night my husband and I were arguing a little bit last night. I know I shouldn't react or think is it really that important but it is like he knew exactly how to push my buttons. Sometimes I find it difficult not to react to something I feel so s...	MDK	7	556	Jun 22, 2011 by MDK
	Walking the Line Between Self Awareness and Total Pity Party (Preview) Now that my AH is back home after 8 months working out of state with once-monthly visits home, I'm having a harder time staying aware of my own needs/wants without it escalating into a huge pity party that ruins my whole day/week. For example, when he was away I definitely had an awareness that our roma...	stephaniej	6	498	Jun 22, 2011 by kitty
	Chugging through one day at a time (Preview) My higher power was listening. I've been reaching out, trying to find companionship and comfort. I went to one of my regular al anon meetings this evening. The speaker was a woman who I enjoy hearing very much. She is frequently the first to share after a qualification and never forgets to thank the spe...	Mlkiss75	4	409	Jun 21, 2011 by Pushka
	Taking a break (Preview) So we finally decided that we need some time off. Even though my ABF has been taking plenty of time off while he's been partying. Alanon has certainly helped because it has been a month of hell and before I would have wanted an answer immediately....with the help of the program, I was able to wait it out un...	Corgi2	3	534	Jun 21, 2011 by parfait624
	Maturity Prayer (Preview) Here is to passing it on. I don't know the writer, but thought you guys would like a little laughter in your day. THE MATURITY PRAYER God, Grant me the maturity to accept what I'm feeling and the courage to correct the actions that I took that made me feel this wayP.S., God is showing off today Hugs to...	tommyecat	2	536	Jun 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	New to all of this... husband rehab anxiety depression (Preview) My husband entered rehab 2 weeks ago in a 90 day program. We rely on letters to talk. I don't have any family in the country and relied on him a lot...too much I am finding out. My anxiety is at an all time high, and while going to a group once a week is helpful, it doesn't cure the lonely nights and affection he...	Schmuck22	5	10128	Jun 21, 2011 by youfoundme
	Goodmorning mip, son update! (Preview) Well, we set boundaries which son broke, we didn't have a plan B, for me I was stumped and chose to say nothing I just read loads and practiced what you all teach me, it hurts lots, lots of turmoil and heavy heart, seems son chooses to sleep outside with no home comforts rather than repsceting our wishes, o...	Katy	3	404	Jun 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	Fathers are not just blood ones (Preview) I have no fathers, gpas are gone,uncles are gone, husbands are gone. BUT all were GREAT fathers, I was blessed. Daddy always WOOPED! after he dove into our pool as it was cold! We held boards for him as he built something like a fort or teeter totter. Grampa sang to us Johny comes marching home again and I'...	Debilyn	3	411	Jun 21, 2011 by Debilyn
	Kids (Preview) Good morning, I have seen a lot of posts about A-sons or daughters recently. As a mom of a 10 year son, how can I not wonder??? I was raised by an A, but I did not get the addictive "gene" they talk about..my ex-hubby was a drinker at one time, but has not drank in many many years but has that gene,...	mslouise	8	507	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Moving along (Preview) I have been taking the next right steps in dealing with reports and doctors, using a lockbox, changing the locks, thinking logically about who has ever had access to my keys, telling my moostiff how glad I am he did not bite whoever it was in the butt because I would rather wonder forever than have him get...	Jennifer	8	538	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Lots of recovery, but it still stings... (Preview) Every holiday gets a little better, but it is still difficult for me not to feel a bit sad, envious, resentful, as each one rolls around that now my ex AH is sober and sharing the life that was supposed to be ours with someone else. Ouch! I gave him 18 years of my life and got gypped. Seems most people I kno...	Loupiness	7	436	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Happy Father's Day (Preview) To all of the dads on this site. I hope you have a wonderful day!	tommyecat	5	453	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Today (Preview) I had an ok father's day and I really had to use my al-anon skills today. My wife is 13 months in recovery from alcohol and pills and is working a program. She is also PMSing right now, which I think stands for "Permission to Mistreat Spouse." It's very hard. Holidays of any sort are hard fo...	surfingmaestro	10	791	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	Living with a recovering Alcoholic (Preview) Hi..... New to this forum, or any forum.. But recognizing I do need folks I can relate and talk to.. desperately.. First let me start by saying I am an adult child of an alcoholic who is engaged to a 1 yr recovering alcohlic. I grew up as the "peace maker/doer" and still seem to hold that ro...	javagirl67	8	2134	Jun 21, 2011 by javagirl67
	You try and do something nice (Preview) So I have drama with my family....I try to avoid while still maintaining some kind of relationship with them....it's hard....I was told by my sponser that when I start saying "no" to things and sticking up for myself, my family wouldn't like it too much. Problem with that is, your then lab...	mslouise	11	822	Jun 21, 2011 by pinkchip
	Difficult decisions. (Preview) My husband is struggling with his recovery. He made it 8 days sober then drank today. His outpatient program requires full disclosure but he doesn't want to tell them about his slip. I don't know if I should tell them. My husband thinks he'll get kicked out of the program if he tells. I don't thi...	Mlkiss75	14	764	Jun 21, 2011 by tommyecat
	it has been awhile (Preview) Oh my...It has been awhile since I have been able to open up on MIP. I am so grateful that you all don't give up on me. I am recovering(still) from my trip to CA. I have so many regrets over what hap- pened while I was down there. I am sorry to say but the experience was not good & it is all my fault. I never ev...	Hoot Nanny	3	530	Jun 21, 2011 by Jerry F
	Confused at Best (Preview) First I want to start off by thanking all of those who take the time to comment on my posts or send positive thoughts my way. It truly means the world to me. I read almost every single post on here...even if I don't respond to it; I still get something from each and every one of you. I was hoping for a little fee...	Corgi2	7	575	Jun 20, 2011 by parfait624
	The "New" A in my life (Preview) My husband is recovering, which I've said before. I think alot of his drinking had to do more with his mental health problems....but then again it's like the question "which came first, the chicken or the egg?" Our relationship is ok. It's not all great and romantic like it used to be, but it...	Kristi136188	3	611	Jun 20, 2011 by Kristi136188
	Practicing Forgivness (Preview) How do you practice forgiveness? Do you pray for the person you want to forgive? Would it be wrong to actually tell the person that you forgive them as a way of letting go? I had this idea pop into my head (after an excellent reply from Clep regarding my last post) about possibly doing a kind of reverse amme...	Aimee	16	899	Jun 20, 2011 by likemyheart
	Podcast on Sponsorship (Preview) Hi everyone - I'm passing this along. Our Area Delegate shared this with our groups: The second podcast on Sponsorship has been posted on the al-anon.alateen.org Members' Web site. To access the podcasts, click on the "For Members & Groups" logo on the home page. Members from across...	Aloha	1	513	Jun 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	When does the bitterness end? (Preview) My wife, soon to be ex, just returned from Hazeldon. Prior to seeking treatment she stepped outside of our vows, lost her job, and was beyond verbally abusive in our relationship. I had high hopes that she would return with a new perspective and we would raise our children together apart, but yet as a...	Jeff	12	837	Jun 20, 2011 by canadianguy
	Yesterday's Yesterday.... (Preview) First Let me say that I want to Send a VERY Happy Fathers Day Out to our Gentlemen Here :0) I Do hope that you all managed to enjoy your Day because you are WORTH IT... So Happy Belated Fathers Day to You All =) For me it was Tough I Suppose, but it always is... 3rd Year without My Daddy-0 ... But My Husband Re...	Jozie	1	428	Jun 20, 2011 by hotrod
	i know it not gonna be easy (Preview) after all that my a,b/f has done to me and after 4 yrs of being togethera and all ive put out on him and money lots of that and allowing him to live on me and not work and not pay nothing and stayed tanked up on everything selling my scipts scripts to but his stuff and seeling my stuff to it with and here at the end...	chinup	2	529	Jun 20, 2011 by tommyecat
	Further up-date (Preview) Hi. Sorry - again another long gap since I have been in here. Life still not good in the Tattyhead household. AH has been in hospital again, having been vomiting blood, bleeding the other end and having acquired pneumonia just as an add-on. The miracle of modern medicine and all its interventions save...	Tattyhead	6	528	Jun 20, 2011 by Tattyhead
	Newcomer to this site (Preview) Hello to all: I am an Alanon member for the past 10 + years. I attend weekly meetings. However, I need all the help I can get from Alanon. I am married to an A husband for 36 years. He has been in and out of rehabs and still does not have recovery. Alanon is what keeps me together. I am unable to attend more than o...	hawaiilover	8	528	Jun 19, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Today. Well..... (Preview) Besides spilling marshmallows and brown sugar cooking it in the microwave, oh fun to clean up.Dog ran off with the towel and rags I was using cleaning it, spread sticky "everywhere." Was hot so I took a feather bed out to the bed glider on the deck, then it rained all night, The racoon is scrat...	Debilyn	1	529	Jun 19, 2011 by likemyheart
	So, this is REALLY my life??!!! (Preview) I find for me that the acceptance of reality is a gradual process. Today, it is Fathers Day. My exaH now has restrictions put on him for supervised access of our son because of a recent police report indicating an attempted suicide. I made arrangments with exaH's grown daughter to pick up our son for F...	Rora	3	588	Jun 19, 2011 by Rora
	AlAnon etiquette (Preview) Someone from my meeting is also going to my church and my gym. We talk about general things when we are not in our meeting. But I have met her husband (her qualifier ) and she has met mine (ditto) I'm not sure how to act, but it feels like by NOT acknowledging each other we are behaving like we are ahsmed.......	alexmaui	5	1135	Jun 19, 2011 by Pushka
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.