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Hi. Sorry - again another long gap since I have been in here. Life still not good in the Tattyhead household. AH has been in hospital again, having been vomiting blood, bleeding the other end and having acquired pneumonia just as an add-on. The miracle of modern medicine and all its interventions saved him once again but each time this happens he ends up that bit worse than before. He is still in hospital (mainly because I have refused to have him home with no help or support) and is medically much better. However he is quite confused in his mind and in a foul temper with me because I won't take him home. I just cannot cope any more. I have been signed off work for the last 2 weeks due to stress and I have been trying to keep up the spirits of my learning disabled son who is stressed out of his mind over his dad. I just think the time has come to dig in my heels, admit that I cannot cope (difficult because coping is what I do) and say I need help. I work 4 full days a week (should have retired by now but am paying off debts run up by AH to feed his habit). I care for my son and also, reluctantly, my alcoholic husband. There is only so much the human body and mind can take. I don't know where I go from here, I only know I can no longer cope on my own. I am in the UK so different systems to the USA. But, probably similarly, all services are very stretched and "they" will happily leave you to cope. I only know I have reached the end of my tether (English expression?) - I can cope no longer.
(((Tatty))) Please explore what options are available to you. Sometimes a person just NEEDS help and there is no shame in that. And it seems obvious that you are in that position now. Yes, services are being cut left and right, but hopefully there will be some kind of help available to you. You and your family continue to be in my prayers. Hang in there, and as much as you can (I know it's difficult to do right now) take care of you.
Hi Tish.....the first time I refused to accept my Ason home from hospital (many times I did take him home) I was phoned by the charge nurse/matron or whatever they're called these days, saying..... what kind of Mother are you that won't take her son home...I didn't take it personally, they wanted rid of him and he wanted out to drink.
I too had reached the end of my tether.
Here in the UK there are excellent services available. It's tough to let go and let others do for him....but I know when I kept taking '' it''....(the disease).... back, it stopped other (positive) things from happening. But I was doing the best I could with what I knew at the time.
Your hubby will be furious, as my son was...the status quo has shifted.........but when they are in hospital, they're safe ......... and we can use this time to focus on our needs....
I remember once taking my son to the hospital and said if they didn't keep him in they would have to take me, because I would happily have enveloped myself in a nice padded straight jacket....they took him. We need to stand up for ourselves...take care of ourselves too.
Thank you all for your kind thoughts and wishes. AH still in hospital and I have an appointment with our family doctor this morning to discuss support needed. As you have all confirmed, I need to look after myself and my son.
