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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Day 4-starting to feel more at peace
Post Info TOPIC: Day 4-starting to feel more at peace
hopenfaith


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Day 4-starting to feel more at peace
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Today is day 4 since my husband has been off the alcohol. As I watch him load his little container with vitamin pills this morning, my heart broke for him.

For the longest time, I blamed him for not quitting because I thought he had control of it and he just didnt' want to quit but for the first time, I saw him through different eyes. I removed all those angry feelings I had towards him and I saw a kid who thought this was normal because that was how he was raised, I saw a man who didn't know how to ask for help because he was supposed to be in control, today, I saw my best friend trying so hard to get better. If acholism is a disease than he is the victim. I need to help him get better. I know it will take time and he is trying.

My husband also bought a breathlizer for me to use on him anytime to rebuild my trust in him and also showed interest in me going to my first Al-Anon meeting which went pretty good. I am planning on going again.

 

 



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youfoundme


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I do so hope you continue to go to meetings for you, and I hope he is getting support in AA. We can support them only so much, they need their own fellowship and program to follow... that said, I know what you mean by those angry feelings going away. When I read the AA big book, I began to look at my bf another way, the judgement fell away...The Big Book in AA really does explain how it is not their fault, its not a moral decision. Its a compulsion and its progressive...Take care of you, keep coming!

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-youfoundme

Let go and let God...Let it be... let it begin with me... 

 
hopenfaith


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Thank you!



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pineapple


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I agree with youfoundme-once I found this site, and started reading the Big Book I learned SO much about alcoholism. It really opened my eyes and let me look at my ah in a whole different way. I realized his drinking wasn't something he was doing TO me, that it wasn't something he did BECAUSE of me. He has a disease that isn't his fault. And I learned to take care of myself no matter what he was doing, drinking or not. I'm happy to hear you made it to an alanon meeting. Please keep coming back, keep us posted.

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flopadopilus


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I hear growth from you and I am so gald you made it to a meeting. I love to hear the compassion you have for your A. Keep up the good work!

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God grant me the serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference. 

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
pinkchip


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Sounds like great progress. Jus try your hardest not to think you "need to help him." Trust me, this is something he has to do for himself. He is the victim of an illness in a way...but it is the one illness that only he has the potential to keep in remission. Feeling sorry for him will hurt him more than help him. Feeling empathy without obligation to "fix" is the best you can do.

If he has your support. If you motivate him...that is great, but he has to get sober regardless. He needs to get sober to have a life with or without you. When you look at it that way, you will feel less pressure for his recovery.

Breathe deep and focus on you. Start building your alanon program.


I do have to say that your compassion is a good thing though and it is great that you understand the disease of alcoholism as well as you do already.

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Day 4-starting to feel more at peace