Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

tommyecat · tommyecat

I had a wonderful time at the week long mountain conference. It was the first time I have attended a conference that had programs for the entire family. AA, Alanon, Alateen, and pre alateen meetings each and every day. There were over 500 people that showed up for the conference with speakers from a...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Not sure if what I am doing is right or wrong. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my A is not an alcoholic, he is a pot smoker. He relapsed completely 3 days before our wedding. As of the last 4 months, he has reduced his smoking and I have asked that he not smoke if he and I are spending time together. Thi...

leaping lizard · leaping lizard

I have so much to say and ask I am not sure where to start without rambeling. I have been married for 26 years now and not sure if we will make it to 27. In the early years neither of us drank much but when friends came over DH would get beyond drunk. at that time in life I never considered him an alcoholic as i...

Ruby · Ruby

My 26 y.o. a/a grandson with anger management issues, and his 44 y.o. a/a mother also has anger management issues are both homeless, the place they had been using as a home (for the past 6 wks) is no longer available to them. I've already told them they can't stay with me in thier current disease stat...

Jadie · Jadie

........... I go to bed spiritually healthy, detached, calm......and then the disease attacks me in the night.I WILL NOT engage with the disease, the disease cannot give me healthy, TRUTHFUL responses. The disease will tell me what I want to hear if I ask......... I no longer askI won't be someone'...

clep · clep

My A and I went yesterday morning to our son's psychologist appt. We had a family exercise she wanted to do with us this session. It was a real eye opener. My A got to hear from her that the state of mom and dad individually and the state of our relationship will impact our son more than anything else will...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Come on already??? Why am I choosing to go through this?? I dont have children, I have a great career. Why do I stay??? If you would tell me not to touch a hot stove, I wouldn't. This keeps happening over and over!!! Enough already! I used my tools today. I got out, got active, even cooked for the jerk! Am I...

youfoundme · youfoundme

I am trying to use my alanon tools in all my affairs. As I get healtier I see that a business I have with a friend doing photography for weddings is just not in my favor and she doesn't seem to want to listen to me when I talk. Things that bother me are just minimized and she has kind of become my boss even thou...

Sincerely · Sincerely

Just when I found joy again, hours after I thanked God for the blessings in life and when I was confident that life with my A hubby was possible, his 19 year old son was killed by an accidental gunshot. That was 90 days ago. It has been 90 days of hell on earth. In 8 years, I have been by my husbands side as he b...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Sometimes I ask why me? Why not me? I am sure a lot of us feel like we don't have many options on how to deal w/ the alcoholics in our lives. I personally feel that we have been blessed enough to find this program & some of us have been able to heal tremendously. I am one of them. I am grateful to say that I am a...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

Here's the abandon kitty I just adopted recently (see avatar). I sure wasn't in the market for another kitty/cat! However, my HP had other things in mind. His name is Lucky because he was fortunate to have been saved that day by my ex-AH. I sure hope his mother and siblings are not suffering! He sur...

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. yesterday was meeting day for me .. the morning meeting was just terrific I am really enjoying that group a LOT!! I did not get much else done it was a running day. Anyway, we had a thread going on about some great quotes I thought I would share what was said yesterday. "Man makes his plans an...

Danielleibelli · Danielleibelli

I am feeling uneasy and fearful, my boyfriend and childs father is an alcoholic and claims he wants to quit drinking but he is at a bar with friends, and to me that is a danger zone. He has lied about drinking recently and I am fearful he will tonight , and sad because i will have to end the relationship. I can...

Jennifer · Jennifer

Hello everyone, Hope you all are doing as well as possinle. I have been really good and of course I am questioning if really good is real or if I have taken detachment so far that nothing touches me. I have finished my summer classes. Sent a letter to the officials about a grade I am not happy with due to my...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, First off, so I can give something back, check my 'something for everyone' post if you haven't - it's REALLY worked for me! I am awkwardly asking for support and kindness, as the next few months are looking very tough. If you need backstory read on [ otherwise skip! ;) ]; Things are co...

sarah1979 · sarah1979

I am new to this site. My OH is a high functioning alcoholic. we have been together for the last 14 years and married for 6. I've known it's been a problem for about the last 8 years. he is a very good husband in lots of ways. he is thoughtful and kind and generous. he has a high powered job and to the outs...

KodakMoment · KodakMoment

I am a completely sober - never really have had much to drink - person. I started dating a guy I've known since grade school in early February. I knew right away he drank too much. His family even cautioned me about his drinking. I didn't like it and really didn't feel like the relationship would last...

sookie · sookie

I have been struggling since my AH left 3 days ago. Although I have been pushing for him to be on his own, so he can own his own recovery and get sober w/o using me as a crutch or excuse. This is HELL. I miss him and am scared for him. He has not even let me know where he is and we have 2 kids. The silence is tearing me...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Have any of you attended adult child of alcoholics meetings? There seems to be only one anywhere near my area, and it's a good 20-30 min drive away. I was hoping someone could recommend an online resource such as this one, or some reading material? In reading about adult child character...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Being new I feel I haven't had much to contribute, but want to do something helpful. What I can and want to share is my favorite parable. Most of you may have heard it before. All I know is in my life, it has been a HUGE blessing! Here you go; A man walking across a field encounters a tiger....

michellelong · michellelong

Hi All, It's been close to a week since I had a mental breakdown and I am thankful to all of you who sent reply posts filled with encouragement and hope. Last weekend was one of the most brutal yet! My AH left 3PM Friday and drank along with obscene amounts of cocaine until coming home (walked 6 miles throug...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Let me start this by saying, that even with this "crisis" I am feeling at the moment, Alanon has been a lifesaver for without it I probably would have been in jail by now. i know this will pass, but going on the umpteenth night of no sleep, it is hard to believe it at this moment. It is 3:45 am, and w...

Sincerely · Sincerely

So, my active a hubby asks me.. What am I doing wrong? Well, I don't freakn know, I'm not in his head, I don't know why he makes bad decisions. However, that question he asked me made me take a look at myself. What am "I" doing wrong? 1. I'm letting his issues become mine. 2. I'm also telling m...

Ruby · Ruby

I have a sponsor who is there for me when she is not involved in her own stuff, she is going through a divorce which is very difficult for her, she doesn't have a sponsor, so I find myself acting as her sponsor. We have become good friends, but I would really like a sponsor who has more time for me, I would lik...

oldergal · oldergal

Three months away from my A Son, it seems I was doing good, but he came over and visited and now I am back to where my head was before I asked him to leave. Apparently I am not working on my program enough. He came over and dumped all his problems on me. Although it was a give and take civilized conversation, I c...

Hayes · Hayes

There is a thunder storm outside. I can't control it. I guess the meteorologists can monitor it. But they can't control it either. No one can control the weather. Tonight, I am happy with the weather, with the outcome. It's beautiful to listen too and there is an amazing atmosphere in the air. I would...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am trying to detach from my AH, because we are fighting all the time anyway. I have been super quiet the last few days, since a big blow up on the weekend and only talk to him when I have to. He said to me at one point "why don't you just shutup for about 5 years", which hurt me and so I have pulled...

odalis · odalis

So today I slipped..majorly! Long story short, a few months ago, we bought a fairly new car that had been in an accident, had it repaired by a "reliable" body shop and now are finding a bunch of things they didn't do right. So the estimate with the new body shop is $1700 and I just flipped! My AH w...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all - just a word of encouragement for us all..... if at all possible, please get yourself to face-to-face Al-Anon meetings - they really are amazing, and such an important piece of our respective recoveries.... MIP, reading books, talking to others - are all really important, but are really 'sup...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Just feel like I`am getting now where in the program. Like I haven`t changed an a bit. Been reacting to my daughter this week and my grandaughter. Not sure how much more I can take. She is becoming her mother! I`ve been going to lots of meetings but I must be a stubborn bull head because I`am not working th...

lost2112 · lost2112

So i trusted my A to go to a concert tonight...he said he wouldnt drink and that he loved me... he came home from the concert after drinking once again... telling me im a horrible parent and telling me that i dont do anything , im lazy, i sit on my a** eating junk food and not going to the gym! what did i ever do t...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all of you Miracles in Progress :) I just wanted to check in tonight. I've had so many things going on, I can't even say. I'm struggling in a lot of ways, but am really feeling good about my progress. I've read in posts and books about people feeling anxiety and discomfort during the early stages of rec...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

When ABF was locked up, I immediately felt the need to "get rid" of signs of him around the condo. I boxed up his beautiful flat screen tv, surround sound, x box, etc... and it's been sitting in a spare room.. I purchased a new tv for myself and squeezed my furniture (that he doesn't like) int...

Sincerely · Sincerely

After the tragic death of my A hubby's son on April 18th, so many people told me... God has a plan. Well, eventually it started to tick me off hearing that. It did not give me any comfort at all. Then one day, talking to someone, i had a aha moment! YES!!!! God does have a plan, however the devil does too! Th...

lost2112 · lost2112

I am currently engaged to the love of my life, who also is an alcoholic. I love him so much but I doont know what to do. He was sober for 3 years and then got sick and spent a few weeks in the hospital and since he has gone back to drinking. He doesnt come home sometimes and is lying about where he is and what he is d...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

ABF has been locked up for 34 days now. Numerous times he's told me he signed up for AA. He said normally it takes a bit of time to get "approved" to go. Which I understand. He said that last week they didn't call him for it. So, stupid me, looked tonight... you can pull up the detention list a...

johne · johne

Dont know what to do my wife of 1 year and five years together. Most of this time I was out, after 12 years of not drinking but not working the program. I am a text book alcoholic co dependent trying to control everything. I now have 21 days and some peace and hope. She is very CD and has her other ways of a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Was getting groceries. Heard this gal yelling, I mean it was like if someone stole your car yelling. I mean cussing tearing the person down etc. I saw her,she definitely looked and acted A. She was yelling at her guy as far as I could tell. He was clean cut, looked and acted sweet,embarrassed. She said so...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, BTW I'm going to a meeting in a couple of hours, but am wondering if anyone has experienced this? My RA of 1.5 yrs. is 7 yrs sober, but he seems...sick? And in his own reality? He is still isolated from all of his friends and is feeding everything - time, money, all topics of conversat...

Kate1979 · Kate1979

I am struggling with trust with my AH, and I do not know what to do. I joined this board a few months ago and have found hope and inspiration here. I have also realized through reading literature that I too, have a sickness. It is a sickness that has come with being married to an alcoholic. One thing I tr...

soulsurfing · soulsurfing

So, where do I start? Never done this and never would have thought I needed too. Guess I'll just jump right to it and see what you guys think. I've been married 14 years to an AH. I knew he drank....a lot....but like most, figured marriage and family would change him. He grew up with a very abusive AF an...

Heartbroken Mom · Heartbroken Mom

My heart is so broken. My son is on opiates and he is killing himself. I have asked him to get help and I will go with him. He keeps telling me that he is recovering but I know he is still using. He won't take a drug test saying he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. I am a single mom and he is 23 still living at...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I have been reading all of the threads here and am so grateful to have foudn you all. I'll be attending my first meeting on Tuesday (the first night I am able with my work schedule). UNtil then, I need advice and don't know where else to turn. My A boyfriend checked himself into rehab on Saturday. He came c...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I have received a lot of help through reading these posts, by everyone especially when I have been unable to attend F2F meetings. Although luckily for me I have went to 3 meetings this week, my bf has given up his job without consulting me, I told him that if he didnt go to work then he would have to leave, w...

Pushka · Pushka

I went to an open AA meeting it was amazing tonight. Normally there is an alanon meeting however they do a joint thing with AA. As I've never been to an AA meeting before this was a first and I am so very glad I went. The person who shared was really terrific. Had some wonderful insights as well as an over...

NovSun · NovSun

Does anyone ever feel like "why should I have to do anything, I am not the one with the 'problem' here"? I just kicked my fiance out. We are new to this town, he has no friends here, nowhere to go. We did attend our first AA meeting on Monday night (after he drank Monday afternoon and then felt...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I recently volunteered to care for a little abandon kitten. He's about 3 weeks old. Therefore, he needs to be bottle fed and have his little private parts messaged so he can elminate body waste. I was very reluctant to take this cat home. However, given the circumstances, he would have died if left t...

GreenK · GreenK

I'm charged up from what was to me, a great meeting! The topic was about "How does the program teach us how to share in meetings?" The readings were from One Day at a Time and an Alanon pamphlet about sponsorship. I'm just 7 months into the program but I've experienced awesome meeting...

clep · clep

I removed my iud today and went to see my naturopath as well. I am looking after my health first of all. She didn't feel the iud was good for me. She says that relationship and control stress are held in the pelvis and that is why I have been having so much pelvic problems. I believe her as she was right ab...

Jozie · Jozie

So these last couple days have been pretty wavey, but I have learned so much about myself it is quite amazing really... I have learned I am No Were near Perfect, and that I still Struggle with "Reacting", and recently I am attemping to polish that up a bit! I have learned that tho I Still can be L...

sookie · sookie

I have really been moved by so many of the stories here for months. I read MIP when I cannot get to face to face meetings. Usually at night when I am feeling down. I have been in Al-Anon since January when my husband checked himself into rehab. Al-Anon has saved my life. The first time I applied the ideas/sl...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi Not sure if I am 'allowed' to use this part of the site but thought I would give it a go. I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am 40. My Dad went to AA when I was 8 and my mum to Al Anon and I used to go with her. My Dad lived on as a Dry Drunk. I can identify with alot of the things mentioned on the ACoA laundry li...

GreenK · GreenK

Hi All, I've been going to Alanon meetings regularly for seven months. I've never worked anything so hard in my life and it is changing my life. I'm just starting to go to some open AA meetings so I can begin to develop a deeper understanding of the disease. I am gradually accepting that it is truly...

Red Hawk · Red Hawk

This one really hit me today. Hope others gain some insight from it, as well! Red Hawk "The Al-Anon slogans are little pieces of advice. If we were entirely capable of putting them all into practice, we'd be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human benigs. "Take this one, for instanc...

ladym · ladym

I woke up this morning feeling so many emotions, angry,tired,anxiety,sad. Last night, everything was ok, so I thought. My A stayed up drinking while I went to bed at 10 and then around 2:30 this morning, I get woken up with my A yelling at me. All I could understand is that how unhappy she is and how she wan...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I am brand new to this forum, but I joined tonight because I'm scared and I'm lonely I really don't know where to turn. My boyfriend checked into rehab on Saturday (the day before my birthday). He checked in after I discovered that he'd gone back to using painkillers to the tune of $5000.00. We've been...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I see a LOT of posts about kicking your A out... or making them leave when they cross the boundary you set....from what I have found out, it's not always that easy. I know from personal experience... since my ABF was living here I could kick him out, make him leave, tell him to never come back, whatever.....

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone! I'm taking a break right now, and listening to some Zen music, reflecting on the last week. I am grateful that my recovering AH and I have at least been able to talk and enjoy each other's company. I see him struggle with being laid off still. It's extremely difficult as well for me, as I'...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I finally went to a face to face meeting today. I was sick at my stomach over anxiousness this morning but did it anyway and it was such a good experience. I shared how I needed help dealing with anxiety and the need to control others and even said "it's not my husband - it's me". I was shocked...

NovSun · NovSun

Well I went and did it. Last week my AFiance was supposed to see a substance abuse counselor on Thursday. He said they called and cancelled the appt. I checked the phone records and realized he called them and cancelled it. He lied about it. I know it was completely wrong and against everythi...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Had a great time (Preview) I had a wonderful time at the week long mountain conference. It was the first time I have attended a conference that had programs for the entire family. AA, Alanon, Alateen, and pre alateen meetings each and every day. There were over 500 people that showed up for the conference with speakers from a...	tommyecat	9	480	Aug 8, 2011 by Doozy
	did I do this wrong (Preview) Not sure if what I am doing is right or wrong. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my A is not an alcoholic, he is a pot smoker. He relapsed completely 3 days before our wedding. As of the last 4 months, he has reduced his smoking and I have asked that he not smoke if he and I are spending time together. Thi...	Lindaoakford	20	701	Aug 8, 2011 by Lindaoakford
	sorry just another newbie here.... (Preview) I have so much to say and ask I am not sure where to start without rambeling. I have been married for 26 years now and not sure if we will make it to 27. In the early years neither of us drank much but when friends came over DH would get beyond drunk. at that time in life I never considered him an alcoholic as i...	leaping lizard	7	563	Aug 8, 2011 by Doozy
	Feeling pressured! (Preview) My 26 y.o. a/a grandson with anger management issues, and his 44 y.o. a/a mother also has anger management issues are both homeless, the place they had been using as a home (for the past 6 wks) is no longer available to them. I've already told them they can't stay with me in thier current disease stat...	Ruby	7	676	Aug 8, 2011 by Samsgram
	This morning I woke up trembling.........again. (Preview) ........... I go to bed spiritually healthy, detached, calm......and then the disease attacks me in the night.I WILL NOT engage with the disease, the disease cannot give me healthy, TRUTHFUL responses. The disease will tell me what I want to hear if I ask......... I no longer askI won't be someone'...	Jadie	8	635	Aug 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	AA, psychologist appt and maybe change. (Preview) My A and I went yesterday morning to our son's psychologist appt. We had a family exercise she wanted to do with us this session. It was a real eye opener. My A got to hear from her that the state of mom and dad individually and the state of our relationship will impact our son more than anything else will...	clep	5	478	Aug 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	Why am I still here??? (Preview) Come on already??? Why am I choosing to go through this?? I dont have children, I have a great career. Why do I stay??? If you would tell me not to touch a hot stove, I wouldn't. This keeps happening over and over!!! Enough already! I used my tools today. I got out, got active, even cooked for the jerk! Am I...	Sincerely	7	765	Aug 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	How do I dissolve a business in a good way? (Preview) I am trying to use my alanon tools in all my affairs. As I get healtier I see that a business I have with a friend doing photography for weddings is just not in my favor and she doesn't seem to want to listen to me when I talk. Things that bother me are just minimized and she has kind of become my boss even thou...	youfoundme	8	818	Aug 8, 2011 by youfoundme
	A Child's Death - a living hell (Preview) Just when I found joy again, hours after I thanked God for the blessings in life and when I was confident that life with my A hubby was possible, his 19 year old son was killed by an accidental gunshot. That was 90 days ago. It has been 90 days of hell on earth. In 8 years, I have been by my husbands side as he b...	Sincerely	14	759	Aug 8, 2011 by hiflying1
	Why not me? (Preview) Sometimes I ask why me? Why not me? I am sure a lot of us feel like we don't have many options on how to deal w/ the alcoholics in our lives. I personally feel that we have been blessed enough to find this program & some of us have been able to heal tremendously. I am one of them. I am grateful to say that I am a...	Hoot Nanny	7	698	Aug 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Introducing my "ODAT" Reminder! (Preview) Here's the abandon kitty I just adopted recently (see avatar). I sure wasn't in the market for another kitty/cat! However, my HP had other things in mind. His name is Lucky because he was fortunate to have been saved that day by my ex-AH. I sure hope his mother and siblings are not suffering! He sur...	GailMichelle	6	689	Aug 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Morning Meeting .. (Preview) LOL .. yesterday was meeting day for me .. the morning meeting was just terrific I am really enjoying that group a LOT!! I did not get much else done it was a running day. Anyway, we had a thread going on about some great quotes I thought I would share what was said yesterday. "Man makes his plans an...	Pushka	4	536	Aug 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Feeling uneasy and fearful- need advice please. (Preview) I am feeling uneasy and fearful, my boyfriend and childs father is an alcoholic and claims he wants to quit drinking but he is at a bar with friends, and to me that is a danger zone. He has lied about drinking recently and I am fearful he will tonight , and sad because i will have to end the relationship. I can...	Danielleibelli	5	772	Aug 8, 2011 by tommyecat
	Can detachment go too far? (Preview) Hello everyone, Hope you all are doing as well as possinle. I have been really good and of course I am questioning if really good is real or if I have taken detachment so far that nothing touches me. I have finished my summer classes. Sent a letter to the officials about a grade I am not happy with due to my...	Jennifer	5	1038	Aug 8, 2011 by Jennifer
	need support, rough seas ahead (Preview) Hey everybody, First off, so I can give something back, check my 'something for everyone' post if you haven't - it's REALLY worked for me! I am awkwardly asking for support and kindness, as the next few months are looking very tough. If you need backstory read on [ otherwise skip! ;) ]; Things are co...	rara avis	4	666	Aug 8, 2011 by Pushka
	Please help (Preview) I am new to this site. My OH is a high functioning alcoholic. we have been together for the last 14 years and married for 6. I've known it's been a problem for about the last 8 years. he is a very good husband in lots of ways. he is thoughtful and kind and generous. he has a high powered job and to the outs...	sarah1979	6	520	Aug 8, 2011 by sarah1979
	Trying to Figure the Whiplash out (Preview) I am a completely sober - never really have had much to drink - person. I started dating a guy I've known since grade school in early February. I knew right away he drank too much. His family even cautioned me about his drinking. I didn't like it and really didn't feel like the relationship would last...	KodakMoment	5	628	Aug 7, 2011 by KodakMoment
	Hope for today (Preview) I have been struggling since my AH left 3 days ago. Although I have been pushing for him to be on his own, so he can own his own recovery and get sober w/o using me as a crutch or excuse. This is HELL. I miss him and am scared for him. He has not even let me know where he is and we have 2 kids. The silence is tearing me...	sookie	6	1109	Aug 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	Adult children (Preview) Hi Everyone, Have any of you attended adult child of alcoholics meetings? There seems to be only one anywhere near my area, and it's a good 20-30 min drive away. I was hoping someone could recommend an online resource such as this one, or some reading material? In reading about adult child character...	KLotus	6	788	Aug 7, 2011 by Pushka
	Brief story for everyone (Preview) Hey everybody, Being new I feel I haven't had much to contribute, but want to do something helpful. What I can and want to share is my favorite parable. Most of you may have heard it before. All I know is in my life, it has been a HUGE blessing! Here you go; A man walking across a field encounters a tiger....	rara avis	5	497	Aug 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	It's been awhile! Still struggling with my AH! (Preview) Hi All, It's been close to a week since I had a mental breakdown and I am thankful to all of you who sent reply posts filled with encouragement and hope. Last weekend was one of the most brutal yet! My AH left 3PM Friday and drank along with obscene amounts of cocaine until coming home (walked 6 miles throug...	michellelong	6	447	Aug 7, 2011 by michellelong
	please talk me off the ledge (Preview) Let me start this by saying, that even with this "crisis" I am feeling at the moment, Alanon has been a lifesaver for without it I probably would have been in jail by now. i know this will pass, but going on the umpteenth night of no sleep, it is hard to believe it at this moment. It is 3:45 am, and w...	Loupiness	10	699	Aug 7, 2011 by GailMichelle
	What am I doing wrong, he asks? (Preview) So, my active a hubby asks me.. What am I doing wrong? Well, I don't freakn know, I'm not in his head, I don't know why he makes bad decisions. However, that question he asked me made me take a look at myself. What am "I" doing wrong? 1. I'm letting his issues become mine. 2. I'm also telling m...	Sincerely	6	739	Aug 7, 2011 by sookie
	Getting a different sponsor! (Preview) I have a sponsor who is there for me when she is not involved in her own stuff, she is going through a divorce which is very difficult for her, she doesn't have a sponsor, so I find myself acting as her sponsor. We have become good friends, but I would really like a sponsor who has more time for me, I would lik...	Ruby	5	542	Aug 7, 2011 by 2nice4_2long
	Thought I was doing ok (Preview) Three months away from my A Son, it seems I was doing good, but he came over and visited and now I am back to where my head was before I asked him to leave. Apparently I am not working on my program enough. He came over and dumped all his problems on me. Although it was a give and take civilized conversation, I c...	oldergal	4	574	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	Great Expectations (Preview) There is a thunder storm outside. I can't control it. I guess the meteorologists can monitor it. But they can't control it either. No one can control the weather. Tonight, I am happy with the weather, with the outcome. It's beautiful to listen too and there is an amazing atmosphere in the air. I would...	Hayes	4	449	Aug 6, 2011 by Hayes
	What is healthy detachment? (Preview) I am trying to detach from my AH, because we are fighting all the time anyway. I have been super quiet the last few days, since a big blow up on the weekend and only talk to him when I have to. He said to me at one point "why don't you just shutup for about 5 years", which hurt me and so I have pulled...	oldgraduate	10	798	Aug 6, 2011 by Sincerely
	slipped today but tried to fix it (Preview) So today I slipped..majorly! Long story short, a few months ago, we bought a fairly new car that had been in an accident, had it repaired by a "reliable" body shop and now are finding a bunch of things they didn't do right. So the estimate with the new body shop is $1700 and I just flipped! My AH w...	odalis	9	569	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	F2F Meetings - Challenge Yourself (Preview) Hi all - just a word of encouragement for us all..... if at all possible, please get yourself to face-to-face Al-Anon meetings - they really are amazing, and such an important piece of our respective recoveries.... MIP, reading books, talking to others - are all really important, but are really 'sup...	canadianguy	9	571	Aug 6, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Passing on " The Issum`s" (Preview) Just feel like I`am getting now where in the program. Like I haven`t changed an a bit. Been reacting to my daughter this week and my grandaughter. Not sure how much more I can take. She is becoming her mother! I`ve been going to lots of meetings but I must be a stubborn bull head because I`am not working th...	Samsgram	13	727	Aug 6, 2011 by Jennifer
	how can i trust him??? (Preview) So i trusted my A to go to a concert tonight...he said he wouldnt drink and that he loved me... he came home from the concert after drinking once again... telling me im a horrible parent and telling me that i dont do anything , im lazy, i sit on my a** eating junk food and not going to the gym! what did i ever do t...	lost2112	8	655	Aug 6, 2011 by Pushka
	Anxiety, struggling and also feeling good (Preview) Hi all of you Miracles in Progress :) I just wanted to check in tonight. I've had so many things going on, I can't even say. I'm struggling in a lot of ways, but am really feeling good about my progress. I've read in posts and books about people feeling anxiety and discomfort during the early stages of rec...	Doozy	6	572	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	Little things for me... (Preview) When ABF was locked up, I immediately felt the need to "get rid" of signs of him around the condo. I boxed up his beautiful flat screen tv, surround sound, x box, etc... and it's been sitting in a spare room.. I purchased a new tv for myself and squeezed my furniture (that he doesn't like) int...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	525	Aug 6, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	God's Plan or the devils work? (Preview) After the tragic death of my A hubby's son on April 18th, so many people told me... God has a plan. Well, eventually it started to tick me off hearing that. It did not give me any comfort at all. Then one day, talking to someone, i had a aha moment! YES!!!! God does have a plan, however the devil does too! Th...	Sincerely	4	619	Aug 6, 2011 by sookie
	New to this.. please help!! (Preview) I am currently engaged to the love of my life, who also is an alcoholic. I love him so much but I doont know what to do. He was sober for 3 years and then got sick and spent a few weeks in the hospital and since he has gone back to drinking. He doesnt come home sometimes and is lying about where he is and what he is d...	lost2112	12	609	Aug 6, 2011 by Pushka
	Why do I do this to myself??? (Preview) ABF has been locked up for 34 days now. Numerous times he's told me he signed up for AA. He said normally it takes a bit of time to get "approved" to go. Which I understand. He said that last week they didn't call him for it. So, stupid me, looked tonight... you can pull up the detention list a...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	577	Aug 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	Dont know what to do (Preview) Dont know what to do my wife of 1 year and five years together. Most of this time I was out, after 12 years of not drinking but not working the program. I am a text book alcoholic co dependent trying to control everything. I now have 21 days and some peace and hope. She is very CD and has her other ways of a...	johne	5	583	Aug 6, 2011 by johne
	Bad incident in store (Preview) Was getting groceries. Heard this gal yelling, I mean it was like if someone stole your car yelling. I mean cussing tearing the person down etc. I saw her,she definitely looked and acted A. She was yelling at her guy as far as I could tell. He was clean cut, looked and acted sweet,embarrassed. She said so...	Debilyn	4	672	Aug 5, 2011 by Sincerely
	sober but...sick? (Preview) Hey everybody, BTW I'm going to a meeting in a couple of hours, but am wondering if anyone has experienced this? My RA of 1.5 yrs. is 7 yrs sober, but he seems...sick? And in his own reality? He is still isolated from all of his friends and is feeding everything - time, money, all topics of conversat...	rara avis	4	695	Aug 5, 2011 by lasthope
	Trust issues...help! (Preview) I am struggling with trust with my AH, and I do not know what to do. I joined this board a few months ago and have found hope and inspiration here. I have also realized through reading literature that I too, have a sickness. It is a sickness that has come with being married to an alcoholic. One thing I tr...	Kate1979	8	923	Aug 5, 2011 by Debilyn
	Help! Confused (Preview) So, where do I start? Never done this and never would have thought I needed too. Guess I'll just jump right to it and see what you guys think. I've been married 14 years to an AH. I knew he drank....a lot....but like most, figured marriage and family would change him. He grew up with a very abusive AF an...	soulsurfing	8	601	Aug 5, 2011 by abbyal
	I don't know how to help my son (Preview) My heart is so broken. My son is on opiates and he is killing himself. I have asked him to get help and I will go with him. He keeps telling me that he is recovering but I know he is still using. He won't take a drug test saying he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. I am a single mom and he is 23 still living at...	Heartbroken Mom	6	498	Aug 5, 2011 by abbyal
	When there's a child (who isn't yours) involved (Preview) I have been reading all of the threads here and am so grateful to have foudn you all. I'll be attending my first meeting on Tuesday (the first night I am able with my work schedule). UNtil then, I need advice and don't know where else to turn. My A boyfriend checked himself into rehab on Saturday. He came c...	Golightly24	5	472	Aug 5, 2011 by Cloudsea
	this too shall pass........? long post sorry (needed to spill it all out) (Preview) I have received a lot of help through reading these posts, by everyone especially when I have been unable to attend F2F meetings. Although luckily for me I have went to 3 meetings this week, my bf has given up his job without consulting me, I told him that if he didnt go to work then he would have to leave, w...	Jules1011	8	534	Aug 5, 2011 by Pushka
	Open AA meeting (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting it was amazing tonight. Normally there is an alanon meeting however they do a joint thing with AA. As I've never been to an AA meeting before this was a first and I am so very glad I went. The person who shared was really terrific. Had some wonderful insights as well as an over...	Pushka	5	433	Aug 5, 2011 by Pushka
	Is this all worth it? (Preview) Does anyone ever feel like "why should I have to do anything, I am not the one with the 'problem' here"? I just kicked my fiance out. We are new to this town, he has no friends here, nowhere to go. We did attend our first AA meeting on Monday night (after he drank Monday afternoon and then felt...	NovSun	17	747	Aug 5, 2011 by KLotus
	Practicing Being in the Moment (Preview) I recently volunteered to care for a little abandon kitten. He's about 3 weeks old. Therefore, he needs to be bottle fed and have his little private parts messaged so he can elminate body waste. I was very reluctant to take this cat home. However, given the circumstances, he would have died if left t...	GailMichelle	9	1158	Aug 5, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Wow, what a meeting tonight! (Preview) I'm charged up from what was to me, a great meeting! The topic was about "How does the program teach us how to share in meetings?" The readings were from One Day at a Time and an Alanon pamphlet about sponsorship. I'm just 7 months into the program but I've experienced awesome meeting...	GreenK	5	543	Aug 5, 2011 by GreenK
	Boundaries can be so hard (Preview) I removed my iud today and went to see my naturopath as well. I am looking after my health first of all. She didn't feel the iud was good for me. She says that relationship and control stress are held in the pelvis and that is why I have been having so much pelvic problems. I believe her as she was right ab...	clep	5	677	Aug 4, 2011 by clep
	Still Growin... (Preview) So these last couple days have been pretty wavey, but I have learned so much about myself it is quite amazing really... I have learned I am No Were near Perfect, and that I still Struggle with "Reacting", and recently I am attemping to polish that up a bit! I have learned that tho I Still can be L...	Jozie	3	528	Aug 4, 2011 by Jozie
	New to posting, lurking for months (Preview) I have really been moved by so many of the stories here for months. I read MIP when I cannot get to face to face meetings. Usually at night when I am feeling down. I have been in Al-Anon since January when my husband checked himself into rehab. Al-Anon has saved my life. The first time I applied the ideas/sl...	sookie	7	476	Aug 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	looks more active than ACoA (Preview) Hi Not sure if I am 'allowed' to use this part of the site but thought I would give it a go. I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am 40. My Dad went to AA when I was 8 and my mum to Al Anon and I used to go with her. My Dad lived on as a Dry Drunk. I can identify with alot of the things mentioned on the ACoA laundry li...	Lindaoakford	5	597	Aug 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	Alcoholic husband who is verbally mean (Preview) Hi All, I've been going to Alanon meetings regularly for seven months. I've never worked anything so hard in my life and it is changing my life. I'm just starting to go to some open AA meetings so I can begin to develop a deeper understanding of the disease. I am gradually accepting that it is truly...	GreenK	11	12586	Aug 4, 2011 by Debilyn
	Today's Reading (WOW!) (Preview) This one really hit me today. Hope others gain some insight from it, as well! Red Hawk "The Al-Anon slogans are little pieces of advice. If we were entirely capable of putting them all into practice, we'd be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human benigs. "Take this one, for instanc...	Red Hawk	6	633	Aug 4, 2011 by sookie
	I Feel so tired and overwhelmed this morning (Preview) I woke up this morning feeling so many emotions, angry,tired,anxiety,sad. Last night, everything was ok, so I thought. My A stayed up drinking while I went to bed at 10 and then around 2:30 this morning, I get woken up with my A yelling at me. All I could understand is that how unhappy she is and how she wan...	ladym	9	933	Aug 4, 2011 by Pushka
	Newbie Reaching Out (Preview) I am brand new to this forum, but I joined tonight because I'm scared and I'm lonely I really don't know where to turn. My boyfriend checked into rehab on Saturday (the day before my birthday). He checked in after I discovered that he'd gone back to using painkillers to the tune of $5000.00. We've been...	Golightly24	6	566	Aug 4, 2011 by Golightly24
	Kicking out the A (Preview) I see a LOT of posts about kicking your A out... or making them leave when they cross the boundary you set....from what I have found out, it's not always that easy. I know from personal experience... since my ABF was living here I could kick him out, make him leave, tell him to never come back, whatever.....	ELEKTRAWMN	12	660	Aug 4, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Zen (Preview) Hi Everyone! I'm taking a break right now, and listening to some Zen music, reflecting on the last week. I am grateful that my recovering AH and I have at least been able to talk and enjoy each other's company. I see him struggle with being laid off still. It's extremely difficult as well for me, as I'...	KLotus	6	689	Aug 4, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Finally went to a F2F Meeting (Preview) I finally went to a face to face meeting today. I was sick at my stomach over anxiousness this morning but did it anyway and it was such a good experience. I shared how I needed help dealing with anxiety and the need to control others and even said "it's not my husband - it's me". I was shocked...	oldgraduate	9	655	Aug 4, 2011 by oldgraduate
	It's a long story - sorry! (Preview) Well I went and did it. Last week my AFiance was supposed to see a substance abuse counselor on Thursday. He said they called and cancelled the appt. I checked the phone records and realized he called them and cancelled it. He lied about it. I know it was completely wrong and against everythi...	NovSun	11	656	Aug 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.