Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Have any of you attended adult child of alcoholics meetings? There seems to be only one anywhere near my area, and it's a good 20-30 min drive away. I was hoping someone could recommend an online resource such as this one, or some reading material? In reading about adult child character...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, Being new I feel I haven't had much to contribute, but want to do something helpful. What I can and want to share is my favorite parable. Most of you may have heard it before. All I know is in my life, it has been a HUGE blessing! Here you go; A man walking across a field encounters a tiger....

michellelong · michellelong

Hi All, It's been close to a week since I had a mental breakdown and I am thankful to all of you who sent reply posts filled with encouragement and hope. Last weekend was one of the most brutal yet! My AH left 3PM Friday and drank along with obscene amounts of cocaine until coming home (walked 6 miles throug...

Loupiness · Loupiness

Let me start this by saying, that even with this "crisis" I am feeling at the moment, Alanon has been a lifesaver for without it I probably would have been in jail by now. i know this will pass, but going on the umpteenth night of no sleep, it is hard to believe it at this moment. It is 3:45 am, and w...

Sincerely · Sincerely

So, my active a hubby asks me.. What am I doing wrong? Well, I don't freakn know, I'm not in his head, I don't know why he makes bad decisions. However, that question he asked me made me take a look at myself. What am "I" doing wrong? 1. I'm letting his issues become mine. 2. I'm also telling m...

Ruby · Ruby

I have a sponsor who is there for me when she is not involved in her own stuff, she is going through a divorce which is very difficult for her, she doesn't have a sponsor, so I find myself acting as her sponsor. We have become good friends, but I would really like a sponsor who has more time for me, I would lik...

oldergal · oldergal

Three months away from my A Son, it seems I was doing good, but he came over and visited and now I am back to where my head was before I asked him to leave. Apparently I am not working on my program enough. He came over and dumped all his problems on me. Although it was a give and take civilized conversation, I c...

Hayes · Hayes

There is a thunder storm outside. I can't control it. I guess the meteorologists can monitor it. But they can't control it either. No one can control the weather. Tonight, I am happy with the weather, with the outcome. It's beautiful to listen too and there is an amazing atmosphere in the air. I would...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I am trying to detach from my AH, because we are fighting all the time anyway. I have been super quiet the last few days, since a big blow up on the weekend and only talk to him when I have to. He said to me at one point "why don't you just shutup for about 5 years", which hurt me and so I have pulled...

odalis · odalis

So today I slipped..majorly! Long story short, a few months ago, we bought a fairly new car that had been in an accident, had it repaired by a "reliable" body shop and now are finding a bunch of things they didn't do right. So the estimate with the new body shop is $1700 and I just flipped! My AH w...

canadianguy · canadianguy

Hi all - just a word of encouragement for us all..... if at all possible, please get yourself to face-to-face Al-Anon meetings - they really are amazing, and such an important piece of our respective recoveries.... MIP, reading books, talking to others - are all really important, but are really 'sup...

Samsgram · Samsgram

Just feel like I`am getting now where in the program. Like I haven`t changed an a bit. Been reacting to my daughter this week and my grandaughter. Not sure how much more I can take. She is becoming her mother! I`ve been going to lots of meetings but I must be a stubborn bull head because I`am not working th...

lost2112 · lost2112

So i trusted my A to go to a concert tonight...he said he wouldnt drink and that he loved me... he came home from the concert after drinking once again... telling me im a horrible parent and telling me that i dont do anything , im lazy, i sit on my a** eating junk food and not going to the gym! what did i ever do t...

Doozy · Doozy

Hi all of you Miracles in Progress :) I just wanted to check in tonight. I've had so many things going on, I can't even say. I'm struggling in a lot of ways, but am really feeling good about my progress. I've read in posts and books about people feeling anxiety and discomfort during the early stages of rec...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

When ABF was locked up, I immediately felt the need to "get rid" of signs of him around the condo. I boxed up his beautiful flat screen tv, surround sound, x box, etc... and it's been sitting in a spare room.. I purchased a new tv for myself and squeezed my furniture (that he doesn't like) int...

Sincerely · Sincerely

After the tragic death of my A hubby's son on April 18th, so many people told me... God has a plan. Well, eventually it started to tick me off hearing that. It did not give me any comfort at all. Then one day, talking to someone, i had a aha moment! YES!!!! God does have a plan, however the devil does too! Th...

lost2112 · lost2112

I am currently engaged to the love of my life, who also is an alcoholic. I love him so much but I doont know what to do. He was sober for 3 years and then got sick and spent a few weeks in the hospital and since he has gone back to drinking. He doesnt come home sometimes and is lying about where he is and what he is d...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

ABF has been locked up for 34 days now. Numerous times he's told me he signed up for AA. He said normally it takes a bit of time to get "approved" to go. Which I understand. He said that last week they didn't call him for it. So, stupid me, looked tonight... you can pull up the detention list a...

johne · johne

Dont know what to do my wife of 1 year and five years together. Most of this time I was out, after 12 years of not drinking but not working the program. I am a text book alcoholic co dependent trying to control everything. I now have 21 days and some peace and hope. She is very CD and has her other ways of a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

Was getting groceries. Heard this gal yelling, I mean it was like if someone stole your car yelling. I mean cussing tearing the person down etc. I saw her,she definitely looked and acted A. She was yelling at her guy as far as I could tell. He was clean cut, looked and acted sweet,embarrassed. She said so...

rara avis · rara avis

Hey everybody, BTW I'm going to a meeting in a couple of hours, but am wondering if anyone has experienced this? My RA of 1.5 yrs. is 7 yrs sober, but he seems...sick? And in his own reality? He is still isolated from all of his friends and is feeding everything - time, money, all topics of conversat...

Kate1979 · Kate1979

I am struggling with trust with my AH, and I do not know what to do. I joined this board a few months ago and have found hope and inspiration here. I have also realized through reading literature that I too, have a sickness. It is a sickness that has come with being married to an alcoholic. One thing I tr...

soulsurfing · soulsurfing

So, where do I start? Never done this and never would have thought I needed too. Guess I'll just jump right to it and see what you guys think. I've been married 14 years to an AH. I knew he drank....a lot....but like most, figured marriage and family would change him. He grew up with a very abusive AF an...

Heartbroken Mom · Heartbroken Mom

My heart is so broken. My son is on opiates and he is killing himself. I have asked him to get help and I will go with him. He keeps telling me that he is recovering but I know he is still using. He won't take a drug test saying he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. I am a single mom and he is 23 still living at...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I have been reading all of the threads here and am so grateful to have foudn you all. I'll be attending my first meeting on Tuesday (the first night I am able with my work schedule). UNtil then, I need advice and don't know where else to turn. My A boyfriend checked himself into rehab on Saturday. He came c...

Jules1011 · Jules1011

I have received a lot of help through reading these posts, by everyone especially when I have been unable to attend F2F meetings. Although luckily for me I have went to 3 meetings this week, my bf has given up his job without consulting me, I told him that if he didnt go to work then he would have to leave, w...

Pushka · Pushka

I went to an open AA meeting it was amazing tonight. Normally there is an alanon meeting however they do a joint thing with AA. As I've never been to an AA meeting before this was a first and I am so very glad I went. The person who shared was really terrific. Had some wonderful insights as well as an over...

NovSun · NovSun

Does anyone ever feel like "why should I have to do anything, I am not the one with the 'problem' here"? I just kicked my fiance out. We are new to this town, he has no friends here, nowhere to go. We did attend our first AA meeting on Monday night (after he drank Monday afternoon and then felt...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I recently volunteered to care for a little abandon kitten. He's about 3 weeks old. Therefore, he needs to be bottle fed and have his little private parts messaged so he can elminate body waste. I was very reluctant to take this cat home. However, given the circumstances, he would have died if left t...

GreenK · GreenK

I'm charged up from what was to me, a great meeting! The topic was about "How does the program teach us how to share in meetings?" The readings were from One Day at a Time and an Alanon pamphlet about sponsorship. I'm just 7 months into the program but I've experienced awesome meeting...

clep · clep

I removed my iud today and went to see my naturopath as well. I am looking after my health first of all. She didn't feel the iud was good for me. She says that relationship and control stress are held in the pelvis and that is why I have been having so much pelvic problems. I believe her as she was right ab...

Jozie · Jozie

So these last couple days have been pretty wavey, but I have learned so much about myself it is quite amazing really... I have learned I am No Were near Perfect, and that I still Struggle with "Reacting", and recently I am attemping to polish that up a bit! I have learned that tho I Still can be L...

sookie · sookie

I have really been moved by so many of the stories here for months. I read MIP when I cannot get to face to face meetings. Usually at night when I am feeling down. I have been in Al-Anon since January when my husband checked himself into rehab. Al-Anon has saved my life. The first time I applied the ideas/sl...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi Not sure if I am 'allowed' to use this part of the site but thought I would give it a go. I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am 40. My Dad went to AA when I was 8 and my mum to Al Anon and I used to go with her. My Dad lived on as a Dry Drunk. I can identify with alot of the things mentioned on the ACoA laundry li...

GreenK · GreenK

Hi All, I've been going to Alanon meetings regularly for seven months. I've never worked anything so hard in my life and it is changing my life. I'm just starting to go to some open AA meetings so I can begin to develop a deeper understanding of the disease. I am gradually accepting that it is truly...

Red Hawk · Red Hawk

This one really hit me today. Hope others gain some insight from it, as well! Red Hawk "The Al-Anon slogans are little pieces of advice. If we were entirely capable of putting them all into practice, we'd be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human benigs. "Take this one, for instanc...

ladym · ladym

I woke up this morning feeling so many emotions, angry,tired,anxiety,sad. Last night, everything was ok, so I thought. My A stayed up drinking while I went to bed at 10 and then around 2:30 this morning, I get woken up with my A yelling at me. All I could understand is that how unhappy she is and how she wan...

Golightly24 · Golightly24

I am brand new to this forum, but I joined tonight because I'm scared and I'm lonely I really don't know where to turn. My boyfriend checked into rehab on Saturday (the day before my birthday). He checked in after I discovered that he'd gone back to using painkillers to the tune of $5000.00. We've been...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

I see a LOT of posts about kicking your A out... or making them leave when they cross the boundary you set....from what I have found out, it's not always that easy. I know from personal experience... since my ABF was living here I could kick him out, make him leave, tell him to never come back, whatever.....

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone! I'm taking a break right now, and listening to some Zen music, reflecting on the last week. I am grateful that my recovering AH and I have at least been able to talk and enjoy each other's company. I see him struggle with being laid off still. It's extremely difficult as well for me, as I'...

oldgraduate · oldgraduate

I finally went to a face to face meeting today. I was sick at my stomach over anxiousness this morning but did it anyway and it was such a good experience. I shared how I needed help dealing with anxiety and the need to control others and even said "it's not my husband - it's me". I was shocked...

NovSun · NovSun

Well I went and did it. Last week my AFiance was supposed to see a substance abuse counselor on Thursday. He said they called and cancelled the appt. I checked the phone records and realized he called them and cancelled it. He lied about it. I know it was completely wrong and against everythi...

Hot Chicka · Hot Chicka

I am not new to AlAnon, just to here..... Can't get to meetings very often due to location. AH has been sober for quite awhile and doing very well. Now he has convinced himself that he could probably handle it a few times a year. At family get togethers, social situations, or whatever. Doesn't want t...

Gailey · Gailey

A son got his 3rd dui/dwi on Tuesday of last week. He is still on probation for the 2nd one. I am sure he will serve some jail time now. I did very well at first. He totaled his car and was taken to the er in a ambulance. He refused the sobriety test because a lawyer told him before to never take one. He was not fo...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, my partner is drinking again after 9 months in rehab and a dry house. He has ran from me to his mums as i will not enable him anymore. He is being very cold its like when they become active again their emotional side dies. He is back to being selfish and uncaring when sober and attending aa he could...

lovee · lovee

I left the father of my child a year and a half ago. He wanted me back badly and I refused. I love him, but our dynamic was toxic. He now has a girlfriend. I see them around town all the time. All the sudden my grief for the loss of my family is so strong I can't breathe. I can't eat and can't stop crying. I'm sa...

RLC · RLC

Happy Birthday MDK....#29 Melissa is in my Home Group. She has the program tonight. She has chosen the 3 C's as the topic. Birthday Hugs To Melissa, RLC

youfoundme · youfoundme

I just got off the phone with two people: my qualifier (A-fiance) and then my sponsor. My A, is in the middle of trying to get off of everything the suboxone and the alcohol. He got his NA book out and was looking at it. He is reading a website for people in recovery. I don't understand how these doctor...

Lolly · Lolly

Hello..Im new to this site,but not to the Al a non meetings ...my friend who is dating a A needed my support and so I went along Boy was I in for a reality check of my own! I thought I had done all the healing that there was ..as I come from a very controlling parent and drinking grandparent...which led me into...

Jozie · Jozie

When life goes faster then I can... In 2 days my Baby boy will be 14... Its hard to beleive that he is that old all aready, but I have been very accepting most of the time of him growing into a young man.. Not easy for me... He is my One & Only and at times I truly can't believe how fast time has gone by... this...

hawaiilover · hawaiilover

Hi Family: Just feel like venting a bit today. Still not working and I depend on my AH for medical benefits and finances to pay our bills. My AH is back on his drinking and driving cycle. He had stop for a while, but now is happening daily. I can not afford to be without his income nor his medical benefits. It...

kay115 · kay115

Last night, my AH called at 3am and said he could was going to sleep over at a friend's house. He had been out drinking, then continued drinking there and no one was in the shape for driving. I offered to go and get him (I am working on not being so enabling), but he declined. This morning, I get a text at 7:30...

KLotus · KLotus

As I've said in previous posts, my husband is on a mission to have me declared "sick." Our marriage counselor, it seemed, was confounded by his arguments and anger. He stated that I chose this situation, and reminded me that I drank with him when we began dating, and that I "had more b...

Sandy_K · Sandy_K

This is a place I knew I needed to revisit. I came here several months ago, shortly after we lost our youngest son to suicide. At that time my husband had once again begun the random pattern of sporadic drinking. At that point, my husband returned to counseling and I found a counselor of my own, but we did n...

KLotus · KLotus

Hi Everyone, Why do alcoholics flirt, and even cheat? My husband, to my knowledge, has never cheated on me, and I do not fear that he will. If he does, he does, and I would likely leave, but that would be his choice. However, when times have been the most difficult between us, I feel he is extra flirtati...

KLotus · KLotus

Today I was feeling very down while at work. Feeling overwhelmed, and anxious. So, I called my AH, as we've had better interactions recently. I didn't really tell him that I was feeling badly (about myself), and just sort of checked in. When I realized that talking with him meant that I was going to...

clep · clep

The new job for my A is going very well. He is happy now and they are keeping him on. He won't tell his old boss that he has quit!!!!! At first it was because he wanted to make sure he landed the new job, then it was because he wanted to make sure they were going to keep him, and now it is because he is having a ha...

mctgo · mctgo

I guess that got his attention, but moreover, it got mine. Hated the person I have become when I was shouting at him yesterday morning - anything I say creates shame, guilt, etc. so why bother? This is my 3rd relationship. I feel sick. I have been so stupid. I "fix" things all of the time,...

Cloudsea · Cloudsea

Hi, all. I just wanted to share that my AH just had his one year sober "birthday" this weekend. Our 15 year old son and I went with him to the AA birthday meeting, and it was truly inspiring. All three of us cried. There were people there with from 1 year to 35 years of sobriety, and each got t...

ladym · ladym

Hi, I am new here, I found this website a couple of days ago and been doing a lot of reading. I didnt realize there are so many people out there that are living my life! I will start by giving a description about my life. I have been with my AGF for 12 years and I knew she drank; I drank too but very little. I guess...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Adult children (Preview) Hi Everyone, Have any of you attended adult child of alcoholics meetings? There seems to be only one anywhere near my area, and it's a good 20-30 min drive away. I was hoping someone could recommend an online resource such as this one, or some reading material? In reading about adult child character...	KLotus	6	756	Aug 7, 2011 by Pushka
	Brief story for everyone (Preview) Hey everybody, Being new I feel I haven't had much to contribute, but want to do something helpful. What I can and want to share is my favorite parable. Most of you may have heard it before. All I know is in my life, it has been a HUGE blessing! Here you go; A man walking across a field encounters a tiger....	rara avis	5	463	Aug 7, 2011 by youfoundme
	It's been awhile! Still struggling with my AH! (Preview) Hi All, It's been close to a week since I had a mental breakdown and I am thankful to all of you who sent reply posts filled with encouragement and hope. Last weekend was one of the most brutal yet! My AH left 3PM Friday and drank along with obscene amounts of cocaine until coming home (walked 6 miles throug...	michellelong	6	416	Aug 7, 2011 by michellelong
	please talk me off the ledge (Preview) Let me start this by saying, that even with this "crisis" I am feeling at the moment, Alanon has been a lifesaver for without it I probably would have been in jail by now. i know this will pass, but going on the umpteenth night of no sleep, it is hard to believe it at this moment. It is 3:45 am, and w...	Loupiness	10	658	Aug 7, 2011 by GailMichelle
	What am I doing wrong, he asks? (Preview) So, my active a hubby asks me.. What am I doing wrong? Well, I don't freakn know, I'm not in his head, I don't know why he makes bad decisions. However, that question he asked me made me take a look at myself. What am "I" doing wrong? 1. I'm letting his issues become mine. 2. I'm also telling m...	Sincerely	6	704	Aug 7, 2011 by sookie
	Getting a different sponsor! (Preview) I have a sponsor who is there for me when she is not involved in her own stuff, she is going through a divorce which is very difficult for her, she doesn't have a sponsor, so I find myself acting as her sponsor. We have become good friends, but I would really like a sponsor who has more time for me, I would lik...	Ruby	5	504	Aug 7, 2011 by 2nice4_2long
	Thought I was doing ok (Preview) Three months away from my A Son, it seems I was doing good, but he came over and visited and now I am back to where my head was before I asked him to leave. Apparently I am not working on my program enough. He came over and dumped all his problems on me. Although it was a give and take civilized conversation, I c...	oldergal	4	543	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	Great Expectations (Preview) There is a thunder storm outside. I can't control it. I guess the meteorologists can monitor it. But they can't control it either. No one can control the weather. Tonight, I am happy with the weather, with the outcome. It's beautiful to listen too and there is an amazing atmosphere in the air. I would...	Hayes	4	417	Aug 6, 2011 by Hayes
	What is healthy detachment? (Preview) I am trying to detach from my AH, because we are fighting all the time anyway. I have been super quiet the last few days, since a big blow up on the weekend and only talk to him when I have to. He said to me at one point "why don't you just shutup for about 5 years", which hurt me and so I have pulled...	oldgraduate	10	755	Aug 6, 2011 by Sincerely
	slipped today but tried to fix it (Preview) So today I slipped..majorly! Long story short, a few months ago, we bought a fairly new car that had been in an accident, had it repaired by a "reliable" body shop and now are finding a bunch of things they didn't do right. So the estimate with the new body shop is $1700 and I just flipped! My AH w...	odalis	9	532	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	F2F Meetings - Challenge Yourself (Preview) Hi all - just a word of encouragement for us all..... if at all possible, please get yourself to face-to-face Al-Anon meetings - they really are amazing, and such an important piece of our respective recoveries.... MIP, reading books, talking to others - are all really important, but are really 'sup...	canadianguy	9	538	Aug 6, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Passing on " The Issum`s" (Preview) Just feel like I`am getting now where in the program. Like I haven`t changed an a bit. Been reacting to my daughter this week and my grandaughter. Not sure how much more I can take. She is becoming her mother! I`ve been going to lots of meetings but I must be a stubborn bull head because I`am not working th...	Samsgram	13	694	Aug 6, 2011 by Jennifer
	how can i trust him??? (Preview) So i trusted my A to go to a concert tonight...he said he wouldnt drink and that he loved me... he came home from the concert after drinking once again... telling me im a horrible parent and telling me that i dont do anything , im lazy, i sit on my a** eating junk food and not going to the gym! what did i ever do t...	lost2112	8	622	Aug 6, 2011 by Pushka
	Anxiety, struggling and also feeling good (Preview) Hi all of you Miracles in Progress :) I just wanted to check in tonight. I've had so many things going on, I can't even say. I'm struggling in a lot of ways, but am really feeling good about my progress. I've read in posts and books about people feeling anxiety and discomfort during the early stages of rec...	Doozy	6	539	Aug 6, 2011 by lasthope
	Little things for me... (Preview) When ABF was locked up, I immediately felt the need to "get rid" of signs of him around the condo. I boxed up his beautiful flat screen tv, surround sound, x box, etc... and it's been sitting in a spare room.. I purchased a new tv for myself and squeezed my furniture (that he doesn't like) int...	ELEKTRAWMN	8	488	Aug 6, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	God's Plan or the devils work? (Preview) After the tragic death of my A hubby's son on April 18th, so many people told me... God has a plan. Well, eventually it started to tick me off hearing that. It did not give me any comfort at all. Then one day, talking to someone, i had a aha moment! YES!!!! God does have a plan, however the devil does too! Th...	Sincerely	4	588	Aug 6, 2011 by sookie
	New to this.. please help!! (Preview) I am currently engaged to the love of my life, who also is an alcoholic. I love him so much but I doont know what to do. He was sober for 3 years and then got sick and spent a few weeks in the hospital and since he has gone back to drinking. He doesnt come home sometimes and is lying about where he is and what he is d...	lost2112	12	578	Aug 6, 2011 by Pushka
	Why do I do this to myself??? (Preview) ABF has been locked up for 34 days now. Numerous times he's told me he signed up for AA. He said normally it takes a bit of time to get "approved" to go. Which I understand. He said that last week they didn't call him for it. So, stupid me, looked tonight... you can pull up the detention list a...	ELEKTRAWMN	11	546	Aug 6, 2011 by youfoundme
	Dont know what to do (Preview) Dont know what to do my wife of 1 year and five years together. Most of this time I was out, after 12 years of not drinking but not working the program. I am a text book alcoholic co dependent trying to control everything. I now have 21 days and some peace and hope. She is very CD and has her other ways of a...	johne	5	551	Aug 6, 2011 by johne
	Bad incident in store (Preview) Was getting groceries. Heard this gal yelling, I mean it was like if someone stole your car yelling. I mean cussing tearing the person down etc. I saw her,she definitely looked and acted A. She was yelling at her guy as far as I could tell. He was clean cut, looked and acted sweet,embarrassed. She said so...	Debilyn	4	640	Aug 5, 2011 by Sincerely
	sober but...sick? (Preview) Hey everybody, BTW I'm going to a meeting in a couple of hours, but am wondering if anyone has experienced this? My RA of 1.5 yrs. is 7 yrs sober, but he seems...sick? And in his own reality? He is still isolated from all of his friends and is feeding everything - time, money, all topics of conversat...	rara avis	4	656	Aug 5, 2011 by lasthope
	Trust issues...help! (Preview) I am struggling with trust with my AH, and I do not know what to do. I joined this board a few months ago and have found hope and inspiration here. I have also realized through reading literature that I too, have a sickness. It is a sickness that has come with being married to an alcoholic. One thing I tr...	Kate1979	8	893	Aug 5, 2011 by Debilyn
	Help! Confused (Preview) So, where do I start? Never done this and never would have thought I needed too. Guess I'll just jump right to it and see what you guys think. I've been married 14 years to an AH. I knew he drank....a lot....but like most, figured marriage and family would change him. He grew up with a very abusive AF an...	soulsurfing	8	559	Aug 5, 2011 by abbyal
	I don't know how to help my son (Preview) My heart is so broken. My son is on opiates and he is killing himself. I have asked him to get help and I will go with him. He keeps telling me that he is recovering but I know he is still using. He won't take a drug test saying he doesn't have to go to the bathroom. I am a single mom and he is 23 still living at...	Heartbroken Mom	6	462	Aug 5, 2011 by abbyal
	When there's a child (who isn't yours) involved (Preview) I have been reading all of the threads here and am so grateful to have foudn you all. I'll be attending my first meeting on Tuesday (the first night I am able with my work schedule). UNtil then, I need advice and don't know where else to turn. My A boyfriend checked himself into rehab on Saturday. He came c...	Golightly24	5	439	Aug 5, 2011 by Cloudsea
	this too shall pass........? long post sorry (needed to spill it all out) (Preview) I have received a lot of help through reading these posts, by everyone especially when I have been unable to attend F2F meetings. Although luckily for me I have went to 3 meetings this week, my bf has given up his job without consulting me, I told him that if he didnt go to work then he would have to leave, w...	Jules1011	8	501	Aug 5, 2011 by Pushka
	Open AA meeting (Preview) I went to an open AA meeting it was amazing tonight. Normally there is an alanon meeting however they do a joint thing with AA. As I've never been to an AA meeting before this was a first and I am so very glad I went. The person who shared was really terrific. Had some wonderful insights as well as an over...	Pushka	5	403	Aug 5, 2011 by Pushka
	Is this all worth it? (Preview) Does anyone ever feel like "why should I have to do anything, I am not the one with the 'problem' here"? I just kicked my fiance out. We are new to this town, he has no friends here, nowhere to go. We did attend our first AA meeting on Monday night (after he drank Monday afternoon and then felt...	NovSun	17	715	Aug 5, 2011 by KLotus
	Practicing Being in the Moment (Preview) I recently volunteered to care for a little abandon kitten. He's about 3 weeks old. Therefore, he needs to be bottle fed and have his little private parts messaged so he can elminate body waste. I was very reluctant to take this cat home. However, given the circumstances, he would have died if left t...	GailMichelle	9	1076	Aug 5, 2011 by GailMichelle
	Wow, what a meeting tonight! (Preview) I'm charged up from what was to me, a great meeting! The topic was about "How does the program teach us how to share in meetings?" The readings were from One Day at a Time and an Alanon pamphlet about sponsorship. I'm just 7 months into the program but I've experienced awesome meeting...	GreenK	5	512	Aug 5, 2011 by GreenK
	Boundaries can be so hard (Preview) I removed my iud today and went to see my naturopath as well. I am looking after my health first of all. She didn't feel the iud was good for me. She says that relationship and control stress are held in the pelvis and that is why I have been having so much pelvic problems. I believe her as she was right ab...	clep	5	647	Aug 4, 2011 by clep
	Still Growin... (Preview) So these last couple days have been pretty wavey, but I have learned so much about myself it is quite amazing really... I have learned I am No Were near Perfect, and that I still Struggle with "Reacting", and recently I am attemping to polish that up a bit! I have learned that tho I Still can be L...	Jozie	3	494	Aug 4, 2011 by Jozie
	New to posting, lurking for months (Preview) I have really been moved by so many of the stories here for months. I read MIP when I cannot get to face to face meetings. Usually at night when I am feeling down. I have been in Al-Anon since January when my husband checked himself into rehab. Al-Anon has saved my life. The first time I applied the ideas/sl...	sookie	7	445	Aug 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	looks more active than ACoA (Preview) Hi Not sure if I am 'allowed' to use this part of the site but thought I would give it a go. I am an adult child of an alcoholic. I am 40. My Dad went to AA when I was 8 and my mum to Al Anon and I used to go with her. My Dad lived on as a Dry Drunk. I can identify with alot of the things mentioned on the ACoA laundry li...	Lindaoakford	5	560	Aug 4, 2011 by youfoundme
	Alcoholic husband who is verbally mean (Preview) Hi All, I've been going to Alanon meetings regularly for seven months. I've never worked anything so hard in my life and it is changing my life. I'm just starting to go to some open AA meetings so I can begin to develop a deeper understanding of the disease. I am gradually accepting that it is truly...	GreenK	11	12227	Aug 4, 2011 by Debilyn
	Today's Reading (WOW!) (Preview) This one really hit me today. Hope others gain some insight from it, as well! Red Hawk "The Al-Anon slogans are little pieces of advice. If we were entirely capable of putting them all into practice, we'd be pretty close to perfection as spiritual human benigs. "Take this one, for instanc...	Red Hawk	6	600	Aug 4, 2011 by sookie
	I Feel so tired and overwhelmed this morning (Preview) I woke up this morning feeling so many emotions, angry,tired,anxiety,sad. Last night, everything was ok, so I thought. My A stayed up drinking while I went to bed at 10 and then around 2:30 this morning, I get woken up with my A yelling at me. All I could understand is that how unhappy she is and how she wan...	ladym	9	892	Aug 4, 2011 by Pushka
	Newbie Reaching Out (Preview) I am brand new to this forum, but I joined tonight because I'm scared and I'm lonely I really don't know where to turn. My boyfriend checked into rehab on Saturday (the day before my birthday). He checked in after I discovered that he'd gone back to using painkillers to the tune of $5000.00. We've been...	Golightly24	6	532	Aug 4, 2011 by Golightly24
	Kicking out the A (Preview) I see a LOT of posts about kicking your A out... or making them leave when they cross the boundary you set....from what I have found out, it's not always that easy. I know from personal experience... since my ABF was living here I could kick him out, make him leave, tell him to never come back, whatever.....	ELEKTRAWMN	12	628	Aug 4, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Zen (Preview) Hi Everyone! I'm taking a break right now, and listening to some Zen music, reflecting on the last week. I am grateful that my recovering AH and I have at least been able to talk and enjoy each other's company. I see him struggle with being laid off still. It's extremely difficult as well for me, as I'...	KLotus	6	655	Aug 4, 2011 by oldgraduate
	Finally went to a F2F Meeting (Preview) I finally went to a face to face meeting today. I was sick at my stomach over anxiousness this morning but did it anyway and it was such a good experience. I shared how I needed help dealing with anxiety and the need to control others and even said "it's not my husband - it's me". I was shocked...	oldgraduate	9	617	Aug 4, 2011 by oldgraduate
	It's a long story - sorry! (Preview) Well I went and did it. Last week my AFiance was supposed to see a substance abuse counselor on Thursday. He said they called and cancelled the appt. I checked the phone records and realized he called them and cancelled it. He lied about it. I know it was completely wrong and against everythi...	NovSun	11	622	Aug 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Going to drink again (Preview) I am not new to AlAnon, just to here..... Can't get to meetings very often due to location. AH has been sober for quite awhile and doing very well. Now he has convinced himself that he could probably handle it a few times a year. At family get togethers, social situations, or whatever. Doesn't want t...	Hot Chicka	12	616	Aug 4, 2011 by flopadopilus
	detached....detached....detached..............attached! (Preview) A son got his 3rd dui/dwi on Tuesday of last week. He is still on probation for the 2nd one. I am sure he will serve some jail time now. I did very well at first. He totaled his car and was taken to the er in a ambulance. He refused the sobriety test because a lawyer told him before to never take one. He was not fo...	Gailey	8	502	Aug 4, 2011 by Ness
	Fear (Preview) Hi all, my partner is drinking again after 9 months in rehab and a dry house. He has ran from me to his mums as i will not enable him anymore. He is being very cold its like when they become active again their emotional side dies. He is back to being selfish and uncaring when sober and attending aa he could...	Tracy	7	613	Aug 3, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	When you leave someone and they move on (Preview) I left the father of my child a year and a half ago. He wanted me back badly and I refused. I love him, but our dynamic was toxic. He now has a girlfriend. I see them around town all the time. All the sudden my grief for the loss of my family is so strong I can't breathe. I can't eat and can't stop crying. I'm sa...	lovee	10	632	Aug 3, 2011 by lovee
	MDK (Melissa) Has A Birthday Today !!!!! (Preview) Happy Birthday MDK....#29 Melissa is in my Home Group. She has the program tonight. She has chosen the 3 C's as the topic. Birthday Hugs To Melissa, RLC	RLC	11	626	Aug 3, 2011 by Jozie
	Encouragement needed (Preview) I just got off the phone with two people: my qualifier (A-fiance) and then my sponsor. My A, is in the middle of trying to get off of everything the suboxone and the alcohol. He got his NA book out and was looking at it. He is reading a website for people in recovery. I don't understand how these doctor...	youfoundme	8	461	Aug 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Confused! (Preview) Hello..Im new to this site,but not to the Al a non meetings ...my friend who is dating a A needed my support and so I went along Boy was I in for a reality check of my own! I thought I had done all the healing that there was ..as I come from a very controlling parent and drinking grandparent...which led me into...	Lolly	7	698	Aug 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	And it Still Goes On :) (Preview) When life goes faster then I can... In 2 days my Baby boy will be 14... Its hard to beleive that he is that old all aready, but I have been very accepting most of the time of him growing into a young man.. Not easy for me... He is my One & Only and at times I truly can't believe how fast time has gone by... this...	Jozie	7	660	Aug 3, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Feeling Vulnerable (Preview) Hi Family: Just feel like venting a bit today. Still not working and I depend on my AH for medical benefits and finances to pay our bills. My AH is back on his drinking and driving cycle. He had stop for a while, but now is happening daily. I can not afford to be without his income nor his medical benefits. It...	hawaiilover	6	418	Aug 2, 2011 by hawaiilover
	Not sure what to do next (Preview) Last night, my AH called at 3am and said he could was going to sleep over at a friend's house. He had been out drinking, then continued drinking there and no one was in the shape for driving. I offered to go and get him (I am working on not being so enabling), but he declined. This morning, I get a text at 7:30...	kay115	9	651	Aug 2, 2011 by ELEKTRAWMN
	Enabling? (Preview) As I've said in previous posts, my husband is on a mission to have me declared "sick." Our marriage counselor, it seemed, was confounded by his arguments and anger. He stated that I chose this situation, and reminded me that I drank with him when we began dating, and that I "had more b...	KLotus	6	701	Aug 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	New, but not brand spankin' shiny new (Preview) This is a place I knew I needed to revisit. I came here several months ago, shortly after we lost our youngest son to suicide. At that time my husband had once again begun the random pattern of sporadic drinking. At that point, my husband returned to counseling and I found a counselor of my own, but we did n...	Sandy_K	5	538	Aug 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Flirt (Preview) Hi Everyone, Why do alcoholics flirt, and even cheat? My husband, to my knowledge, has never cheated on me, and I do not fear that he will. If he does, he does, and I would likely leave, but that would be his choice. However, when times have been the most difficult between us, I feel he is extra flirtati...	KLotus	6	580	Aug 2, 2011 by flopadopilus
	Trying (Preview) Today I was feeling very down while at work. Feeling overwhelmed, and anxious. So, I called my AH, as we've had better interactions recently. I didn't really tell him that I was feeling badly (about myself), and just sort of checked in. When I realized that talking with him meant that I was going to...	KLotus	2	446	Aug 2, 2011 by maresie
	Even the good situations are turned to crap. (rant) (Preview) The new job for my A is going very well. He is happy now and they are keeping him on. He won't tell his old boss that he has quit!!!!! At first it was because he wanted to make sure he landed the new job, then it was because he wanted to make sure they were going to keep him, and now it is because he is having a ha...	clep	8	443	Aug 2, 2011 by clep
	I told my significant other he's a trainwreck and an alcoholic. (Preview) I guess that got his attention, but moreover, it got mine. Hated the person I have become when I was shouting at him yesterday morning - anything I say creates shame, guilt, etc. so why bother? This is my 3rd relationship. I feel sick. I have been so stupid. I "fix" things all of the time,...	mctgo	7	739	Aug 2, 2011 by Lyne
	Grateful (Preview) Hi, all. I just wanted to share that my AH just had his one year sober "birthday" this weekend. Our 15 year old son and I went with him to the AA birthday meeting, and it was truly inspiring. All three of us cried. There were people there with from 1 year to 35 years of sobriety, and each got t...	Cloudsea	8	447	Aug 2, 2011 by Cloudsea
	Feel Like I'm going crazy! (Preview) Hi, I am new here, I found this website a couple of days ago and been doing a lot of reading. I didnt realize there are so many people out there that are living my life! I will start by giving a description about my life. I have been with my AGF for 12 years and I knew she drank; I drank too but very little. I guess...	ladym	7	612	Aug 2, 2011 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.