The material presented
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
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Just when I found joy again, hours after I thanked God for the blessings in life and when I was confident that life with my A hubby was possible, his 19 year old son was killed by an accidental gunshot. That was 90 days ago. It has been 90 days of hell on earth.
In 8 years, I have been by my husbands side as he burried his mother, brother, father and now 19 year old son. His father passed in Jan of this year and son in April. Each death brought on larger addictions.
90 days before my husbands son was killed, my husband had a $300-$500 a day pain pill habit. Drained his retirement. His son was on his way to a life of addiction and the 19 yr old boy who killed him was a felon with a pocket of pain pills.
The $ is gone. His Son is gone forever and i am about to be gone from his life myself. He's barely functioning. There are court proceedings going on, the boy who shot my stepson was arrested and has been offered 40 years if convicted. He has asked for a plea bargain of 25 years.
Life is insane. I am so out of it myself. I have relapsed in my alanon program and my life feels out of control.
I need your prayers and support. Again, I find myself in the situation needing to leave my marriage to save myself. My heart is broken, Jesus help me.
There are no words to comfort you in the loss of a child. I am so sorry, I can't even imagine the pain your husband and you are going through. My son is an addict and your post is my worst nightmare but a reality i have to somehow accept in order to move on with my program. Pls use the program to it's full potential right now as you need as much support as you can get. You are well versed enough that nothing you do can help your husband right now. It's not your fault these things are happening. Please take care and be gentle with yourself Again very sorry for your loss Bleesings to you !
I am so very sorry for the terrible sadness and pain that you and your family are now enduring. Please be very , very gentle with yourself and if possible try to contact your alanon friends and reach out to program for help.
I too lost a son to this dreadful disease and the loss goes so very deep. Meetings help
Condolences for your families loss, you are in my prayers.
Hugs again, P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I too can think of no words for the loss and pain you and your family are enduring. That is truly horrible. Such loss. I am sending you kind strong thoughts, and prayers. Take care of yourself, you are so deserving.
(((((Sincerely))))) Aloha and you always have the prayers as you do your HP and the program of the AFG...Get back into it...you're not alone; C+C+C ((((hugs))))
I do not have any words of wisdom, I do have love and prayers to send your way. I can not express the sadness I feel by reading your post. I am so sorry for the loss you have suffered. Also, the addiction you are living with.
I can offer you this, my best friend lost one son to addiction at the young age of 26 her other son was headed down the same path. She got so caught up in the youngest son's addiction that she could not greive the lost of her son she lost. She eventually got sick and tired of being sick and tired and walked away. Today by the grace of NA naranon and counseling and her faith she has a smile again and her younger son is back home clean and sober.
There before the grace of God go I. Always remember you are not alone and u will stay in my prayers.
I can only say I am so sorry for your loss. Your Higher Power is there for you walking by your side. Be gentle on yourself and reach out to your Al-Anon friends who are always there for you.
My prayers are with you. Please remember that we are here.
I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but I can tell it must seem unbearable. Please remember that you are loved, and that you will get through this. Please keep coming back.
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"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."
You must not lose yourself over this terrible tragedy , please continue with your Alanon practice.
Whatever your husband choses to do with all of this is up to him. Death is always harder for the people left behind. We know that we eventually have to face the death of a parent, siblings when they get older, a death of a young person seems like such a waste of a life, we never know how long we will stay in this body.
I do know after living with an A for over 26 years that they use everything to fuel their illness....this is up to them and how they chose to live their lives. I hope they all choose sobriety and hope for the best. Marriage is difficult with an addict, we want to do whats best for them and support, but somehow it turns out we end up enabling them without realizing it. I finally learned to take the "hands off " approach and take care of my own life and to finally let go.
I encourage you to keep practicing and coming back, no matter what is going on in your life. My prayers go out to you and your family. Live strong.. Hugs, Bettina
-- Edited by Bettina on Friday 5th of August 2011 03:51:45 PM
I can not imagine the pain you must be going through. Each of us seems to have our own crosses to bear. Along the way I do hope that you can find the strength to get back into the program and find some, love, hope and serenity. My heart goes out to you and your family. No matter what you choose to do. I know and believe that your HP will help you through it. We are all stronger than we then to believe. Sending you my thoughts and healing prayers. Please try and go easy on yourself. This tragedy needs love to see it through.
I am a newbie-ish member. However, I send up offerings of prayers for you and your family. Please keep coming back. Through faith in your HP and the love and unconditional support you find here, you will travel through this experience. There are some amazingly kind and wise members here who will walk with you as you travel this road. (((hugs))) Please help HP. Thanks, Amen!
