Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

wifeofalcoholic · wifeofalcoholic

Most of us have had our ups and downs for years. I am no exception. Meetings, reading and therapy but I feel defeated. It is no easy task to live with an alcoholic or even a recovering alcoholic. I honestly don't know if my husband is totally free of alcohol; I sometimes think, which is what our ther...

Mattie · Mattie

Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, two steps back in this business. My son and I were away thousands of miles from our home for a year while I was working elsewhere. I had a renter who walked out on the property early. My ex-AH stepped up to the plate and pitched in to take care of the pets for us inst...

jmanning · jmanning

Good Morning. First thanks for letting me post here and share my feelings. From my last post, my AH went to jail friday and I was lost without him. Wow I said was.... This morning is the first morning I didn't cry. This is also the first morning of college without him. It will be ackward because the first 2 c...

rosielee · rosielee

its been so many years living with this disease now that i pretty much live by the steps- before i knew what they were i had come to them naturally anyway. but since ive been on here ive noticed that i needed to address my need to fix everything. dont laugh- i know i answer all the posts here- and am hungry to...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I tell ya if I had not been offered and learned all I have here, I would not have any hair left, or teeth either. Life is so frigging complicated, hectic. Bundling up in a corner sounds good sometimes. Nothing specific, just life. Have a certain amount of money. Needs to go to different places. I bought a n...

maresie · maresie

One of the things I have felt such shame about was how I both chose partners, married them, or became "attached" too quickly or got so triggered by what was going on I completely melted down. I have been really mean and judgmental to myself about that. Needless to say on some level I felt abso...

pineapple · pineapple

How Important Is It? This has been one of my mantras for months now. And it often has helped to defuse potential angry, resentful situations. But lately it hasn't helped. To those who don't know my situation, I cannot make him leave. We have a small guesthouse that we used to rent as a B&B. At my reque...

kris10 · kris10

NOT because I dont want to. I would love to! I would love to do soo many things that i just cant do. I have severe pannic attacks and agoraphobia that wont let me do alot. My A is the ONLY one who was here for me when noone else was. I was literally house bound. I am now going a few places with the help of my counsel...

concern for member · Debilyn

Ok I got very concerned about a new member. Sounds like some very serious stuff is going on. This person and I pm'ed. The situation is dire, she is alone in it. I shared all I could from my experience, keep them in my prayers. I felt pretty well geez what emotion? I needed to share what I could with out givin...

peggyjean · peggyjean

Married 20+ yrs and alcohol has been an on and off problem throughout. Had a wonderful 3 year period of abstaining but that ended 4 years ago. After one drink, he's cheerful and still connected. Any more than that and the words slightly slur or the eyelids bat more often - just enough that I notice. W...

Sweet Stanley · Sweet Stanley

I haven't been on line for quite some time. Just letting you all know, I'm still here. Things are going really well for me. Still attending my F2F weekly meetings to help keep me on track. I live in Minnesota, so this time of the year is really busy. Winterizing, cutting/hauling wood for winter, yard cl...

Katy · Katy

Two trees growing close together, but not in each other's shadow Nature is a great teacher. A walk in a forest can teach us about life and help us to experience something far greater than ourselves. Suppose you came upon a colony of mushrooms decorating the forest floor, what would you see? At first, w...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to chair the Monday morning A-Anon Meeting as I will be out of the city all day. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair. Thanks

Pushka · Pushka

Well, things have gone really well around here. I think we are all battling a cold which is the pits and I feel really bad, because our eldest had a sleep over last night so I'm hoping her friend escapes the germs. Both my son and I have sore throats and he's got a cold to match as well as a small cough. I had t...

glad lee · glad lee

What if we knew for certain that everything we're worried about today will work out fine? What if . . . we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we'd be grateful for that...

surfingmaestro · surfingmaestro

Hi Everyone, I haven't posted lately but I've been reading a lot. My wife is a sober alcoholic of 16 months and she says that this is the first time she is really working the steps with sobriety. Lately she has been distant and not wanted much to do with me or the kids and I've been ok with that. I've been w...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I just want to say that I am grateful & am looking forward to another beautiful day! I will let everyone know how the Speaker Boat Cruise went today on Monday. I decided to go w/ my mom & husband. It should be a nice experience. I have mentioned before that I really didn't want to go w/ my mom but afte...

kris10 · kris10

Up again late at night... Wondering thought.. So many questions.. My story...(Try to make short) I met my A bf a year and a half ago... While still holding on to a horrible relationship with my sons father (whom was abusive in EVERY way you can possibly think of) I must say that my sons father and I were NO...

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

It was a pretty good day all in all. I stayed focused on me and stayed as positive as I could. Up until that is... I got the text " am I allowed to come home tonight? I had a drink" to which I replied " you made your choice". So he followed with "ok see you tomorrow after work and I'm s...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, just got back from the convention I managed to share on top table in front of AA and al anon memebers I was scared but feel good another milestone paast. The convention was called miracles al anon is my miracle I am so glad to be a member of this wonderful fellowship. hugs tracy xx

Jozie · Jozie

What a Day... Work was Insane today, Some much to do and I got so Much done, It was Fast Moving, but managable for a change, it was kinda nice... My Husband Took off early to spend the night at camp, and I have to Say, I have had an Amazing Evenning with my Son, The 1st Night I have had him All to myself for over a...

glad · glad

As I was cleaning tonight I found an old picture of myself taken just about 8 years or so ago. Wow did I look different and more relaxed for sure. I realized that the reason for most or all of my "depression" and crying over my exA bf not being here is more about the "lost years" than it...

rara avis · rara avis

Hello lovely people, Update: I've left my RA, arranged an intervention of sorts [ he is dry but was acting way off] and am staying in hotels until next Monday. Then I come home. Flummox: I was hoping for a separation and a 'wait and see' while my RA got his act together. Well, last night I talked to RA. He h...

atheos · atheos

I just got a great new job, and will be moving to a very nice apartment... my life is going very well right now. My sister is schizophrenic, and may never get to have a normal life with a job and a nice apartment and stuff the way I do now. She may never even get her drivers' license. As happy as I am that good thi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am happy to say the meeting went well on Tuesday. I am just so grateful for old-timers who kept the meeting going as well as some newer people. It is funny; I went in there thinking" Oh boy I am nervous!" It was like I thought but the reading I picked ended up being the wrong reading for that nigh...

rosielee · rosielee

there are so many posters on this site whos loved ones are still drinking, which i think is a very painful place for all. its a big open wound that weeps all the time...so this has made me want to share a bit of my story with you....and also I confess, this site is becoming my daily fix so if you want to listen...

Dharma · Dharma

that I'm positng this in the right place, but hopefully someone has some wisdom. Today I had to separate myself from my alcoholic/addict brother. Things have deteriorated so much that I just can't take the lashing out and middle of the night screaming phone messages. I went and got the car project...

maresie · maresie

Funny how stuff can trigger the feelings I have not yet processed from the eXA's incredible downward spiral (during which I left him). A friend of mine from work is talking about going to live with his relatives in part parking himself on them because he is stuck on a job front. Some of it is that he wants...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

How do we decide what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior? What consequences does our qualifier face for their behavior? I'm really struggling with this today. I had a lot of time to think today (long train ride) and while I am still feeling good & positive about everything, I am also s...

tinkerbell · tinkerbell

Hi everyone, this is my first time to this board. My AH husband has been sober 5 months, and I have been attending f2f al anon meetings for this amount of time. Although both of us are working on recovery and being quite successful, it seems that our teenage sons are getting worse. We have two boys age 15...

kris10 · kris10

I'm stuck on step 2 and 3... I'm not a real religious person I guess... I'm really not getting this higher power thing at all??? I mean I would like to hope that there is one!!! I guess I've never experienced anything like a higher power before... I really believe that anything "good" that has...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I am sharing at a convention tomorrow I have shared a couple of times and always get lots from it. I love conventions when our two fellowships come together. However tomorrow I am sharing in front of al anon and AA members I am a bit scared there will be lots of people there and I want to do it p...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Any of you guys have some ESH on the 12 Concepts? I was asked to give a talk on the concepts next month with a focus on 3 and 4. I have looked through my literature cabinet and it is a challenge to find anything on the concepts. Your suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, Tommye

rubyhunter · rubyhunter

I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been an alcholic,but has a very important job and makes great money.and has been able to keep this job through all his drinking.He has had 3 prior drunk drivings over the years but has always used his money and power to get out of them.So he has never...

matisa · matisa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

Hi there everyone, New to this whole al-anon thing but really can't do this alone anymore. I have friends to talk to but they don't fully understand because they do not have an A spouse. Bless them, they try. Anyway, not a day goes by that I am told "well if you would change" or " you alway...

Kicks611 · Kicks611

Hi all, This is the first time posting here, and I'm not quite sure how or what to really write. Forgive me if it sounds as though I'm rambling and not making any sense...my head is just a little out of sorts, I'm confused, and super stressed. I'm reaching out because I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say that it is good because God is good. I have to say that my sponsor always says that it is "all good". I sometimes agree w/ her. Today is one of those days. I had a long weekend w/ my TOPS rally. I had to get up early & recovered from it on Sunday. I am so glad it is MONDAY! Sounds str...

Derek · Derek

My wife is currently in rehab for alcohol and bulimia. She's been to rehab a few times over the past couple of years, but I'm hoping that this time around is going to be the one that sticks. I think she's finally ready to accept the way things have turned out and do what she has to. I haven't seen her in ove...

matisa · matisa

Crazy can sometimes be over whelming when the person who is affecting you happens to be someone who thinks its ok to harasses you just because they knew you a long time ago but could not get over you, so they show back up in your life refusing to leave you alone, why is it people don't understand what harass...

glad · glad

The question about getting better in same house was my question for a long time and, like it sounds for so many others too,, there were break ups and returns and drama,, finally in what I thought was probably just another "break up" my AH live in boyfriend for 7 years left and he has stayed gone...

Aly · Aly

Hi - It's my first time on a forum like this, actually it's my first time making any sort of contact with alanon. My husband is no longer in the family home due to his drinking and today was the day from hell. I have been left in a bit of a mess with the finances and felt so ashamed when I had to phone the bank to...

elizabethcontreras · elizabethcontreras

Today is a different kind of day. I am home alone, it has been 2 weeks since my boyfriend went to rehab. Before he relapsed I thought everything was getting better. He was starting to take a lower dose of suboxone. He was getting back on his feet finding work and he even asked me to marry him. After that it w...

John · John

know there are many times when we wonder... why do we keep trying, why we keep holding on, why we keep letting go, why we keep silent, why we keep screaming, why we keep pushing, why we keep pulling, doing so much, and yet there is no one else we are foolin... it all hurts, and we don't want to hurt any more.....

glad · glad

The "sticky" above -why alcoholism is listed as a disease helped me so very much... The video, which was not a "sermon" helped with the "worries" I have obsessed about over the years... answered so many of the "why" questions I've had. Thanks so much for...

John · John

life, not an easy journey, but a journey that without all its twist and turns would be a journey without the very things that teach us how to navigate the roads of life that lay ahead, and guides us to the best in its moments of despair to let go of the wheel, and start looking for the scenic route. john

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. and ya'll thought it was the whole not my business .. nope. I'm right where I need to be in my healing today. Even in the throws of pain which I would have and could have happially done without, I am exactly where I need to be in terms of healing from this past year. I have learned so much about myself a...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Today was my birthday. Not a big deal really; we didn't have major plans to celebrate and I was ok with that. We did decide that we'd get take out from my favorite nearby restaurant and have some ice cream for dessert. And I have to say, I was looking forward to that, as little as it was. But when I got home, my...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

My son's friend decided (while under the influence) that his addiction was too much to handle. While in the depths of his drunken state of mind felt that by taking a gun to his own head he could end the pain of his demons the ones that haunted him daily. Oddly, strangly, curiously the face book page...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Where is Peggy? In the past few weeks one son who had finally found sobriety of nearly a year was in a major car accident while driving to work. Side effects upon leaving the trauma unit consist of short term memory loss, chest pains, trouble sleeping, loss of his job. Other son just lost a dear friend t...

rosielee · rosielee

im an adult child of an alcohlic mother thankfully my dramas are over (apart from the occaisional bad phase) and mostly i tend to sympathise more with the people who are having to live with this disease on a daily basis- thats where it can get heavy going so anyways...as an adult child i am lucky enough t...

NovSun · NovSun

It's been awhile since I've been on the board and since my last post. I have missed my last two weekly F2F meetings, too. I did get the promotion at work and it has been a whirlwind! It's fantastic. And so demanding, but I love it. But I feel guilty about the F2F meeting. The last one I attended, I just p...

Woodenships · Woodenships

This is my first post to a message board I have been reading a very long time. August 9, 2011 I took my AH husband to the emergency room with a belly as big as a 8 month pregnant woman. His eyes were yellow, he has lost all his body weight, muscle mass, etc. He bascially stopped eating and would drink from t...

Pushka · Pushka

That is such an interesting statement and it can provoke powerful responses, especially if married, how can that not be my business that is my life partner!!? Tonight at our meeting someone shared something that I thought was amazing, what not my business means, it's not rude or meant in that way, my...

maresie · maresie

I have been feeling pretty lonely lately. I thought I would dabble in dating! I've gone back and forth on it. One minute I think I am too needy and next I think why not. I've also been feeling kind of torn. Setting limits and bottom lines is hard stuff. After all I feel like I owe the world for being alive....

youfoundme · youfoundme

In alanon we are taught about advice giving and trying to orchestrate other people's lives. It is said that to do that takes away from ourselves and our self-focus. March 25th in Courage to Change really struck me today. The line "to listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart...&quo...

kris10 · kris10

New to this.. First post. I'm really wondering if one can truely "turn a cheek" to all this and get better?? Or is that just keeping our feelings inside until we blow up??? Cuz most of the time lately this is how I feel.. Please remember I just started with this (step one and two)..... Does it g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am kind of anxious about chairing the meeting tonight at an out-of-town meeting--I have been there many times but have never chaired this meeting. It is a great meeting whether there are many or few. Maybe because summer is ending, there will be a good crowd. I am not nervous about chairing the meetin...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, earlier this week I decided to turn down a job offer. I wrestled with it and decided I didn't want to move right now. Partially, this is because of my recovery work and I don't want to get derailed when I'm making so much progress. It's too much stress right now. So... I wrestled and decided to turn it...

nyc018 · nyc018

Question how to handle something for those of you who've ever separated from your A. My AH is in inpatient rehab now after several hospitalizations and being unable to stay sober enough for outpatient, and going on a bender with his own mother (who'd been sober 22 years). He hasn't lived with me sinc...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	I feel so defeated (Preview) Most of us have had our ups and downs for years. I am no exception. Meetings, reading and therapy but I feel defeated. It is no easy task to live with an alcoholic or even a recovering alcoholic. I honestly don't know if my husband is totally free of alcohol; I sometimes think, which is what our ther...	wifeofalcoholic	6	574	Sep 20, 2011 by lasthope
	Feeling discouraged (Preview) Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, two steps back in this business. My son and I were away thousands of miles from our home for a year while I was working elsewhere. I had a renter who walked out on the property early. My ex-AH stepped up to the plate and pitched in to take care of the pets for us inst...	Mattie	11	554	Sep 20, 2011 by lasthope
	Functioning better this morning (Preview) Good Morning. First thanks for letting me post here and share my feelings. From my last post, my AH went to jail friday and I was lost without him. Wow I said was.... This morning is the first morning I didn't cry. This is also the first morning of college without him. It will be ackward because the first 2 c...	jmanning	7	489	Sep 19, 2011 by jmanning
	made a decision (Preview) its been so many years living with this disease now that i pretty much live by the steps- before i knew what they were i had come to them naturally anyway. but since ive been on here ive noticed that i needed to address my need to fix everything. dont laugh- i know i answer all the posts here- and am hungry to...	rosielee	6	540	Sep 19, 2011 by maresie
	Al Anon has changed me (Preview) I tell ya if I had not been offered and learned all I have here, I would not have any hair left, or teeth either. Life is so frigging complicated, hectic. Bundling up in a corner sounds good sometimes. Nothing specific, just life. Have a certain amount of money. Needs to go to different places. I bought a n...	Debilyn	14	765	Sep 19, 2011 by barisax
	Forgiving ourselves (Preview) One of the things I have felt such shame about was how I both chose partners, married them, or became "attached" too quickly or got so triggered by what was going on I completely melted down. I have been really mean and judgmental to myself about that. Needless to say on some level I felt abso...	maresie	6	677	Sep 19, 2011 by glad lee
	How Important Is It? (Preview) How Important Is It? This has been one of my mantras for months now. And it often has helped to defuse potential angry, resentful situations. But lately it hasn't helped. To those who don't know my situation, I cannot make him leave. We have a small guesthouse that we used to rent as a B&B. At my reque...	pineapple	16	977	Sep 19, 2011 by glad lee
	I can not go to meetings (Preview) NOT because I dont want to. I would love to! I would love to do soo many things that i just cant do. I have severe pannic attacks and agoraphobia that wont let me do alot. My A is the ONLY one who was here for me when noone else was. I was literally house bound. I am now going a few places with the help of my counsel...	kris10	4	494	Sep 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	concern for member (Preview) Ok I got very concerned about a new member. Sounds like some very serious stuff is going on. This person and I pm'ed. The situation is dire, she is alone in it. I shared all I could from my experience, keep them in my prayers. I felt pretty well geez what emotion? I needed to share what I could with out givin...	Debilyn	6	556	Sep 19, 2011 by youfoundme
	Drinking limits socialization (Preview) Married 20+ yrs and alcohol has been an on and off problem throughout. Had a wonderful 3 year period of abstaining but that ended 4 years ago. After one drink, he's cheerful and still connected. Any more than that and the words slightly slur or the eyelids bat more often - just enough that I notice. W...	peggyjean	8	867	Sep 19, 2011 by glad
	Checking in (Preview) I haven't been on line for quite some time. Just letting you all know, I'm still here. Things are going really well for me. Still attending my F2F weekly meetings to help keep me on track. I live in Minnesota, so this time of the year is really busy. Winterizing, cutting/hauling wood for winter, yard cl...	Sweet Stanley	6	471	Sep 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	True Intimacy (Preview) Two trees growing close together, but not in each other's shadow Nature is a great teacher. A walk in a forest can teach us about life and help us to experience something far greater than ourselves. Suppose you came upon a colony of mushrooms decorating the forest floor, what would you see? At first, w...	Katy	6	801	Sep 19, 2011 by tommyecat
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG (Preview) I am unable to chair the Monday morning A-Anon Meeting as I will be out of the city all day. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair. Thanks	shimo	0	360	Sep 18, 2011 by shimo
	Week in review .. (Preview) Well, things have gone really well around here. I think we are all battling a cold which is the pits and I feel really bad, because our eldest had a sleep over last night so I'm hoping her friend escapes the germs. Both my son and I have sore throats and he's got a cold to match as well as a small cough. I had t...	Pushka	5	597	Sep 18, 2011 by rosielee
	Letting Go of Worry (Preview) What if we knew for certain that everything we're worried about today will work out fine? What if . . . we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we'd be grateful for that...	glad lee	4	1731	Sep 18, 2011 by likemyheart
	My Truth (Preview) Hi Everyone, I haven't posted lately but I've been reading a lot. My wife is a sober alcoholic of 16 months and she says that this is the first time she is really working the steps with sobriety. Lately she has been distant and not wanted much to do with me or the kids and I've been ok with that. I've been w...	surfingmaestro	8	876	Sep 18, 2011 by tommyecat
	can I make it short? (Preview) I just want to say that I am grateful & am looking forward to another beautiful day! I will let everyone know how the Speaker Boat Cruise went today on Monday. I decided to go w/ my mom & husband. It should be a nice experience. I have mentioned before that I really didn't want to go w/ my mom but afte...	Hoot Nanny	2	518	Sep 18, 2011 by Debilyn
	So many things I think about.... (Preview) Up again late at night... Wondering thought.. So many questions.. My story...(Try to make short) I met my A bf a year and a half ago... While still holding on to a horrible relationship with my sons father (whom was abusive in EVERY way you can possibly think of) I must say that my sons father and I were NO...	kris10	3	597	Sep 17, 2011 by Debilyn
	Boundaries being tested for the 1st time tonight... (Preview) It was a pretty good day all in all. I stayed focused on me and stayed as positive as I could. Up until that is... I got the text " am I allowed to come home tonight? I had a drink" to which I replied " you made your choice". So he followed with "ok see you tomorrow after work and I'm s...	Jonesy0505	13	597	Sep 17, 2011 by RLC
	convention (Preview) Hi All, just got back from the convention I managed to share on top table in front of AA and al anon memebers I was scared but feel good another milestone paast. The convention was called miracles al anon is my miracle I am so glad to be a member of this wonderful fellowship. hugs tracy xx	Tracy	1	399	Sep 17, 2011 by hotrod
	Program Practicin Kinda Week... (Preview) What a Day... Work was Insane today, Some much to do and I got so Much done, It was Fast Moving, but managable for a change, it was kinda nice... My Husband Took off early to spend the night at camp, and I have to Say, I have had an Amazing Evenning with my Son, The 1st Night I have had him All to myself for over a...	Jozie	2	419	Sep 17, 2011 by hotrod
	Cleaning out some "stuff" (Preview) As I was cleaning tonight I found an old picture of myself taken just about 8 years or so ago. Wow did I look different and more relaxed for sure. I realized that the reason for most or all of my "depression" and crying over my exA bf not being here is more about the "lost years" than it...	glad	3	397	Sep 17, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Update and help I'm flummoxed (Preview) Hello lovely people, Update: I've left my RA, arranged an intervention of sorts [ he is dry but was acting way off] and am staying in hotels until next Monday. Then I come home. Flummox: I was hoping for a separation and a 'wait and see' while my RA got his act together. Well, last night I talked to RA. He h...	rara avis	22	717	Sep 17, 2011 by rara avis
	Survivor guilt (Preview) I just got a great new job, and will be moving to a very nice apartment... my life is going very well right now. My sister is schizophrenic, and may never get to have a normal life with a job and a nice apartment and stuff the way I do now. She may never even get her drivers' license. As happy as I am that good thi...	atheos	7	713	Sep 16, 2011 by rara avis
	meeting went well... (Preview) I am happy to say the meeting went well on Tuesday. I am just so grateful for old-timers who kept the meeting going as well as some newer people. It is funny; I went in there thinking" Oh boy I am nervous!" It was like I thought but the reading I picked ended up being the wrong reading for that nigh...	Hoot Nanny	3	387	Sep 16, 2011 by maresie
	wanting to share this with you if you have the time (Preview) there are so many posters on this site whos loved ones are still drinking, which i think is a very painful place for all. its a big open wound that weeps all the time...so this has made me want to share a bit of my story with you....and also I confess, this site is becoming my daily fix so if you want to listen...	rosielee	10	604	Sep 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	Not so sure... (Preview) that I'm positng this in the right place, but hopefully someone has some wisdom. Today I had to separate myself from my alcoholic/addict brother. Things have deteriorated so much that I just can't take the lashing out and middle of the night screaming phone messages. I went and got the car project...	Dharma	10	862	Sep 16, 2011 by Dharma
	Triggers (Preview) Funny how stuff can trigger the feelings I have not yet processed from the eXA's incredible downward spiral (during which I left him). A friend of mine from work is talking about going to live with his relatives in part parking himself on them because he is stuck on a job front. Some of it is that he wants...	maresie	3	626	Sep 16, 2011 by amills4294
	Consequences, boundaries, acceptable behavior, etc... (Preview) How do we decide what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior? What consequences does our qualifier face for their behavior? I'm really struggling with this today. I had a lot of time to think today (long train ride) and while I am still feeling good & positive about everything, I am also s...	usedtobeanyer	14	1279	Sep 16, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	Messed up kids (Preview) Hi everyone, this is my first time to this board. My AH husband has been sober 5 months, and I have been attending f2f al anon meetings for this amount of time. Although both of us are working on recovery and being quite successful, it seems that our teenage sons are getting worse. We have two boys age 15...	tinkerbell	11	1018	Sep 16, 2011 by clep
	spirituality help please!!! (Preview) I'm stuck on step 2 and 3... I'm not a real religious person I guess... I'm really not getting this higher power thing at all??? I mean I would like to hope that there is one!!! I guess I've never experienced anything like a higher power before... I really believe that anything "good" that has...	kris10	7	565	Sep 16, 2011 by Dharma
	sharing (Preview) Hi everyone, I am sharing at a convention tomorrow I have shared a couple of times and always get lots from it. I love conventions when our two fellowships come together. However tomorrow I am sharing in front of al anon and AA members I am a bit scared there will be lots of people there and I want to do it p...	Tracy	7	455	Sep 16, 2011 by rosielee
	12 Concepts of Service (Preview) Any of you guys have some ESH on the 12 Concepts? I was asked to give a talk on the concepts next month with a focus on 3 and 4. I have looked through my literature cabinet and it is a challenge to find anything on the concepts. Your suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, Tommye	tommyecat	5	4198	Sep 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Ive had enough! (Preview) I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been an alcholic,but has a very important job and makes great money.and has been able to keep this job through all his drinking.He has had 3 prior drunk drivings over the years but has always used his money and power to get out of them.So he has never...	rubyhunter	6	543	Sep 16, 2011 by rosielee
	life house skit (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA	matisa	2	3985	Sep 15, 2011 by david62
	Why does my AH always try to blame me for his using? (Preview) Hi there everyone, New to this whole al-anon thing but really can't do this alone anymore. I have friends to talk to but they don't fully understand because they do not have an A spouse. Bless them, they try. Anyway, not a day goes by that I am told "well if you would change" or " you alway...	Jonesy0505	14	667	Sep 15, 2011 by RLC
	1st time here (reallllllly need some advice) - Dad is in Hospital... (Preview) Hi all, This is the first time posting here, and I'm not quite sure how or what to really write. Forgive me if it sounds as though I'm rambling and not making any sense...my head is just a little out of sorts, I'm confused, and super stressed. I'm reaching out because I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I...	Kicks611	12	521	Sep 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Oh JOY! It is all good! (Preview) Just want to say that it is good because God is good. I have to say that my sponsor always says that it is "all good". I sometimes agree w/ her. Today is one of those days. I had a long weekend w/ my TOPS rally. I had to get up early & recovered from it on Sunday. I am so glad it is MONDAY! Sounds str...	Hoot Nanny	3	555	Sep 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trying to be a supportive husband (Preview) My wife is currently in rehab for alcohol and bulimia. She's been to rehab a few times over the past couple of years, but I'm hoping that this time around is going to be the one that sticks. I think she's finally ready to accept the way things have turned out and do what she has to. I haven't seen her in ove...	Derek	6	705	Sep 15, 2011 by rrib
	they are crazy (Preview) Crazy can sometimes be over whelming when the person who is affecting you happens to be someone who thinks its ok to harasses you just because they knew you a long time ago but could not get over you, so they show back up in your life refusing to leave you alone, why is it people don't understand what harass...	matisa	3	507	Sep 15, 2011 by hotrod
	The Question of to stay or go... (Preview) The question about getting better in same house was my question for a long time and, like it sounds for so many others too,, there were break ups and returns and drama,, finally in what I thought was probably just another "break up" my AH live in boyfriend for 7 years left and he has stayed gone...	glad	7	784	Sep 15, 2011 by Rora
	First time posting :) (Preview) Hi - It's my first time on a forum like this, actually it's my first time making any sort of contact with alanon. My husband is no longer in the family home due to his drinking and today was the day from hell. I have been left in a bit of a mess with the finances and felt so ashamed when I had to phone the bank to...	Aly	8	580	Sep 14, 2011 by Doozy
	Lonely (Preview) Today is a different kind of day. I am home alone, it has been 2 weeks since my boyfriend went to rehab. Before he relapsed I thought everything was getting better. He was starting to take a lower dose of suboxone. He was getting back on his feet finding work and he even asked me to marry him. After that it w...	elizabethcontreras	15	754	Sep 14, 2011 by likemyheart
	The impossible is possible!! (Preview) know there are many times when we wonder... why do we keep trying, why we keep holding on, why we keep letting go, why we keep silent, why we keep screaming, why we keep pushing, why we keep pulling, doing so much, and yet there is no one else we are foolin... it all hurts, and we don't want to hurt any more.....	John	6	543	Sep 14, 2011 by oldergal
	wonderful video in "why Alcoholism is a disease listed by AMA" sticky above. (Preview) The "sticky" above -why alcoholism is listed as a disease helped me so very much... The video, which was not a "sermon" helped with the "worries" I have obsessed about over the years... answered so many of the "why" questions I've had. Thanks so much for...	glad	0	339	Sep 14, 2011 by glad
	The journey (Preview) life, not an easy journey, but a journey that without all its twist and turns would be a journey without the very things that teach us how to navigate the roads of life that lay ahead, and guides us to the best in its moments of despair to let go of the wheel, and start looking for the scenic route. john	John	0	387	Sep 14, 2011 by John
	Lightening bolt thought .. (Preview) LOL .. and ya'll thought it was the whole not my business .. nope. I'm right where I need to be in my healing today. Even in the throws of pain which I would have and could have happially done without, I am exactly where I need to be in terms of healing from this past year. I have learned so much about myself a...	Pushka	9	681	Sep 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	Feelings (Preview) Today was my birthday. Not a big deal really; we didn't have major plans to celebrate and I was ok with that. We did decide that we'd get take out from my favorite nearby restaurant and have some ice cream for dessert. And I have to say, I was looking forward to that, as little as it was. But when I got home, my...	usedtobeanyer	12	658	Sep 14, 2011 by hotrod
	The Disease Took another LIFE this weekend. (Preview) My son's friend decided (while under the influence) that his addiction was too much to handle. While in the depths of his drunken state of mind felt that by taking a gun to his own head he could end the pain of his demons the ones that haunted him daily. Oddly, strangly, curiously the face book page...	Peggy7	9	628	Sep 14, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Cluttered mind syndrom (Preview) Where is Peggy? In the past few weeks one son who had finally found sobriety of nearly a year was in a major car accident while driving to work. Side effects upon leaving the trauma unit consist of short term memory loss, chest pains, trouble sleeping, loss of his job. Other son just lost a dear friend t...	Peggy7	8	751	Sep 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	self obessed "self gratification" conversation (Preview) im an adult child of an alcohlic mother thankfully my dramas are over (apart from the occaisional bad phase) and mostly i tend to sympathise more with the people who are having to live with this disease on a daily basis- thats where it can get heavy going so anyways...as an adult child i am lucky enough t...	rosielee	11	808	Sep 14, 2011 by rosielee
	Been Awhile (Preview) It's been awhile since I've been on the board and since my last post. I have missed my last two weekly F2F meetings, too. I did get the promotion at work and it has been a whirlwind! It's fantastic. And so demanding, but I love it. But I feel guilty about the F2F meeting. The last one I attended, I just p...	NovSun	5	485	Sep 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	AH diagnosed with Cirrhosis (Preview) This is my first post to a message board I have been reading a very long time. August 9, 2011 I took my AH husband to the emergency room with a belly as big as a 8 month pregnant woman. His eyes were yellow, he has lost all his body weight, muscle mass, etc. He bascially stopped eating and would drink from t...	Woodenships	10	774	Sep 14, 2011 by Woodenships
	Not my business ... (Preview) That is such an interesting statement and it can provoke powerful responses, especially if married, how can that not be my business that is my life partner!!? Tonight at our meeting someone shared something that I thought was amazing, what not my business means, it's not rude or meant in that way, my...	Pushka	5	704	Sep 14, 2011 by Jozie
	light at the end of the tunnel (Preview) I have been feeling pretty lonely lately. I thought I would dabble in dating! I've gone back and forth on it. One minute I think I am too needy and next I think why not. I've also been feeling kind of torn. Setting limits and bottom lines is hard stuff. After all I feel like I owe the world for being alive....	maresie	4	426	Sep 14, 2011 by maresie
	Self-focus (Preview) In alanon we are taught about advice giving and trying to orchestrate other people's lives. It is said that to do that takes away from ourselves and our self-focus. March 25th in Courage to Change really struck me today. The line "to listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart...&quo...	youfoundme	9	652	Sep 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	Can I really get better while still in the same house?? (Preview) New to this.. First post. I'm really wondering if one can truely "turn a cheek" to all this and get better?? Or is that just keeping our feelings inside until we blow up??? Cuz most of the time lately this is how I feel.. Please remember I just started with this (step one and two)..... Does it g...	kris10	16	742	Sep 14, 2011 by kris10
	chairing the meeting tonight (Preview) I am kind of anxious about chairing the meeting tonight at an out-of-town meeting--I have been there many times but have never chaired this meeting. It is a great meeting whether there are many or few. Maybe because summer is ending, there will be a good crowd. I am not nervous about chairing the meetin...	Hoot Nanny	4	794	Sep 14, 2011 by Pushka
	Closes a door and opens a window... (Preview) Well, earlier this week I decided to turn down a job offer. I wrestled with it and decided I didn't want to move right now. Partially, this is because of my recovery work and I don't want to get derailed when I'm making so much progress. It's too much stress right now. So... I wrestled and decided to turn it...	Doozy	3	393	Sep 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	What to Say to AH (Preview) Question how to handle something for those of you who've ever separated from your A. My AH is in inpatient rehab now after several hospitalizations and being unable to stay sober enough for outpatient, and going on a bender with his own mother (who'd been sober 22 years). He hasn't lived with me sinc...	nyc018	9	809	Sep 14, 2011 by rosielee
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.