Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

glad · glad

As I was cleaning tonight I found an old picture of myself taken just about 8 years or so ago. Wow did I look different and more relaxed for sure. I realized that the reason for most or all of my "depression" and crying over my exA bf not being here is more about the "lost years" than it...

rara avis · rara avis

Hello lovely people, Update: I've left my RA, arranged an intervention of sorts [ he is dry but was acting way off] and am staying in hotels until next Monday. Then I come home. Flummox: I was hoping for a separation and a 'wait and see' while my RA got his act together. Well, last night I talked to RA. He h...

atheos · atheos

I just got a great new job, and will be moving to a very nice apartment... my life is going very well right now. My sister is schizophrenic, and may never get to have a normal life with a job and a nice apartment and stuff the way I do now. She may never even get her drivers' license. As happy as I am that good thi...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am happy to say the meeting went well on Tuesday. I am just so grateful for old-timers who kept the meeting going as well as some newer people. It is funny; I went in there thinking" Oh boy I am nervous!" It was like I thought but the reading I picked ended up being the wrong reading for that nigh...

rosielee · rosielee

there are so many posters on this site whos loved ones are still drinking, which i think is a very painful place for all. its a big open wound that weeps all the time...so this has made me want to share a bit of my story with you....and also I confess, this site is becoming my daily fix so if you want to listen...

Dharma · Dharma

that I'm positng this in the right place, but hopefully someone has some wisdom. Today I had to separate myself from my alcoholic/addict brother. Things have deteriorated so much that I just can't take the lashing out and middle of the night screaming phone messages. I went and got the car project...

maresie · maresie

Funny how stuff can trigger the feelings I have not yet processed from the eXA's incredible downward spiral (during which I left him). A friend of mine from work is talking about going to live with his relatives in part parking himself on them because he is stuck on a job front. Some of it is that he wants...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

How do we decide what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior? What consequences does our qualifier face for their behavior? I'm really struggling with this today. I had a lot of time to think today (long train ride) and while I am still feeling good & positive about everything, I am also s...

tinkerbell · tinkerbell

Hi everyone, this is my first time to this board. My AH husband has been sober 5 months, and I have been attending f2f al anon meetings for this amount of time. Although both of us are working on recovery and being quite successful, it seems that our teenage sons are getting worse. We have two boys age 15...

kris10 · kris10

I'm stuck on step 2 and 3... I'm not a real religious person I guess... I'm really not getting this higher power thing at all??? I mean I would like to hope that there is one!!! I guess I've never experienced anything like a higher power before... I really believe that anything "good" that has...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, I am sharing at a convention tomorrow I have shared a couple of times and always get lots from it. I love conventions when our two fellowships come together. However tomorrow I am sharing in front of al anon and AA members I am a bit scared there will be lots of people there and I want to do it p...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Any of you guys have some ESH on the 12 Concepts? I was asked to give a talk on the concepts next month with a focus on 3 and 4. I have looked through my literature cabinet and it is a challenge to find anything on the concepts. Your suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, Tommye

rubyhunter · rubyhunter

I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been an alcholic,but has a very important job and makes great money.and has been able to keep this job through all his drinking.He has had 3 prior drunk drivings over the years but has always used his money and power to get out of them.So he has never...

matisa · matisa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA

Jonesy0505 · Jonesy0505

Hi there everyone, New to this whole al-anon thing but really can't do this alone anymore. I have friends to talk to but they don't fully understand because they do not have an A spouse. Bless them, they try. Anyway, not a day goes by that I am told "well if you would change" or " you alway...

Kicks611 · Kicks611

Hi all, This is the first time posting here, and I'm not quite sure how or what to really write. Forgive me if it sounds as though I'm rambling and not making any sense...my head is just a little out of sorts, I'm confused, and super stressed. I'm reaching out because I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Just want to say that it is good because God is good. I have to say that my sponsor always says that it is "all good". I sometimes agree w/ her. Today is one of those days. I had a long weekend w/ my TOPS rally. I had to get up early & recovered from it on Sunday. I am so glad it is MONDAY! Sounds str...

Derek · Derek

My wife is currently in rehab for alcohol and bulimia. She's been to rehab a few times over the past couple of years, but I'm hoping that this time around is going to be the one that sticks. I think she's finally ready to accept the way things have turned out and do what she has to. I haven't seen her in ove...

matisa · matisa

Crazy can sometimes be over whelming when the person who is affecting you happens to be someone who thinks its ok to harasses you just because they knew you a long time ago but could not get over you, so they show back up in your life refusing to leave you alone, why is it people don't understand what harass...

glad · glad

The question about getting better in same house was my question for a long time and, like it sounds for so many others too,, there were break ups and returns and drama,, finally in what I thought was probably just another "break up" my AH live in boyfriend for 7 years left and he has stayed gone...

Aly · Aly

Hi - It's my first time on a forum like this, actually it's my first time making any sort of contact with alanon. My husband is no longer in the family home due to his drinking and today was the day from hell. I have been left in a bit of a mess with the finances and felt so ashamed when I had to phone the bank to...

elizabethcontreras · elizabethcontreras

Today is a different kind of day. I am home alone, it has been 2 weeks since my boyfriend went to rehab. Before he relapsed I thought everything was getting better. He was starting to take a lower dose of suboxone. He was getting back on his feet finding work and he even asked me to marry him. After that it w...

John · John

know there are many times when we wonder... why do we keep trying, why we keep holding on, why we keep letting go, why we keep silent, why we keep screaming, why we keep pushing, why we keep pulling, doing so much, and yet there is no one else we are foolin... it all hurts, and we don't want to hurt any more.....

glad · glad

The "sticky" above -why alcoholism is listed as a disease helped me so very much... The video, which was not a "sermon" helped with the "worries" I have obsessed about over the years... answered so many of the "why" questions I've had. Thanks so much for...

John · John

life, not an easy journey, but a journey that without all its twist and turns would be a journey without the very things that teach us how to navigate the roads of life that lay ahead, and guides us to the best in its moments of despair to let go of the wheel, and start looking for the scenic route. john

Pushka · Pushka

LOL .. and ya'll thought it was the whole not my business .. nope. I'm right where I need to be in my healing today. Even in the throws of pain which I would have and could have happially done without, I am exactly where I need to be in terms of healing from this past year. I have learned so much about myself a...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Today was my birthday. Not a big deal really; we didn't have major plans to celebrate and I was ok with that. We did decide that we'd get take out from my favorite nearby restaurant and have some ice cream for dessert. And I have to say, I was looking forward to that, as little as it was. But when I got home, my...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

My son's friend decided (while under the influence) that his addiction was too much to handle. While in the depths of his drunken state of mind felt that by taking a gun to his own head he could end the pain of his demons the ones that haunted him daily. Oddly, strangly, curiously the face book page...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

Where is Peggy? In the past few weeks one son who had finally found sobriety of nearly a year was in a major car accident while driving to work. Side effects upon leaving the trauma unit consist of short term memory loss, chest pains, trouble sleeping, loss of his job. Other son just lost a dear friend t...

rosielee · rosielee

im an adult child of an alcohlic mother thankfully my dramas are over (apart from the occaisional bad phase) and mostly i tend to sympathise more with the people who are having to live with this disease on a daily basis- thats where it can get heavy going so anyways...as an adult child i am lucky enough t...

NovSun · NovSun

It's been awhile since I've been on the board and since my last post. I have missed my last two weekly F2F meetings, too. I did get the promotion at work and it has been a whirlwind! It's fantastic. And so demanding, but I love it. But I feel guilty about the F2F meeting. The last one I attended, I just p...

Woodenships · Woodenships

This is my first post to a message board I have been reading a very long time. August 9, 2011 I took my AH husband to the emergency room with a belly as big as a 8 month pregnant woman. His eyes were yellow, he has lost all his body weight, muscle mass, etc. He bascially stopped eating and would drink from t...

Pushka · Pushka

That is such an interesting statement and it can provoke powerful responses, especially if married, how can that not be my business that is my life partner!!? Tonight at our meeting someone shared something that I thought was amazing, what not my business means, it's not rude or meant in that way, my...

maresie · maresie

I have been feeling pretty lonely lately. I thought I would dabble in dating! I've gone back and forth on it. One minute I think I am too needy and next I think why not. I've also been feeling kind of torn. Setting limits and bottom lines is hard stuff. After all I feel like I owe the world for being alive....

youfoundme · youfoundme

In alanon we are taught about advice giving and trying to orchestrate other people's lives. It is said that to do that takes away from ourselves and our self-focus. March 25th in Courage to Change really struck me today. The line "to listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart...&quo...

kris10 · kris10

New to this.. First post. I'm really wondering if one can truely "turn a cheek" to all this and get better?? Or is that just keeping our feelings inside until we blow up??? Cuz most of the time lately this is how I feel.. Please remember I just started with this (step one and two)..... Does it g...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I am kind of anxious about chairing the meeting tonight at an out-of-town meeting--I have been there many times but have never chaired this meeting. It is a great meeting whether there are many or few. Maybe because summer is ending, there will be a good crowd. I am not nervous about chairing the meetin...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, earlier this week I decided to turn down a job offer. I wrestled with it and decided I didn't want to move right now. Partially, this is because of my recovery work and I don't want to get derailed when I'm making so much progress. It's too much stress right now. So... I wrestled and decided to turn it...

nyc018 · nyc018

Question how to handle something for those of you who've ever separated from your A. My AH is in inpatient rehab now after several hospitalizations and being unable to stay sober enough for outpatient, and going on a bender with his own mother (who'd been sober 22 years). He hasn't lived with me sinc...

Debilyn · Debilyn

ok I am venting, I know better than what I am saying!! Just spitting out my imperfect me! RRRRRR son's fb is gone. HUH? He calls to check in. Hey what happened to your fb. Oh he says it is causing too many problems. HUH? His not wife cept on paper is accusing him of cheating and all that bolony. My son has very...

Pushka · Pushka

Wow I had more steam in my engine than I thought .. LOL. I have rearranged the computer area, which cleared out a ton of clutter. I'm still going through it just taking a quick break. I'm going to pay for this tomorrow .. gak .. oh well, I"m hoping for just some sore muscles. I'm not sure I like the s...

scholarlydragon · scholarlydragon

I am 28 years old and have an alcoholic mother. In the last year, with the help of God, my boyfriend, and his family I have finally begun to uncover the scars from mental and emotional abuse as I was growing up and deal with them properly. As a survival mechanism, I clamped down on all the anger and resentm...

janetteaa · janetteaa

Hi, I'm new to Al Anon, but not new to AA. I'm trying to decide whether to stay and work on me while continuing my marriage with my AH, or if I need to leave to be able to finish my work. Going to just let it all out...and hope for the best here. Been married for 25 years and he is the love of my life. However the l...

Doozy · Doozy

Well, I haven't posted in a bit because I've been out of town. I'm back now and have a couple things to put out there. I'm really hoping to get to a meeting or meetings this week because I really need the support. I joined Alanon and this group primarily because of my pain at the end of a 3-yr relationship wit...

tommyecat · tommyecat

Just a few of my favorites I wanted to share. Enjoy!There is so much satisifaction in work well done; praise is sweet, but there can be no happiness equal to the joy of finding a heart that truly understands - Victor RobinsonMay God give you eyes to see the beauty only the heart can understand unknown...

likemyheart · likemyheart

Tonight Ive been messing with my latest experiment. This morning I was doing something that made me start wondering why I couldnt make some kind of concentrated coffee thing that you just add a few tablespoons of the concentrate to a cup of hot liquid to make coffee that tastes fresh from the pot. So, af...

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B8ISzf2pryI

Debilyn · Debilyn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B8ISzf2pryI

bellaellaella · bellaellaella

I asked my husband to leave today... he has had a binge drinking problem since i met him. After 3 years i fanally had enough today and asked him to leave. He manages to stay dry for six weeks at a time and then the seventh week is hell. Thing is i miss him already and now he's angry with me for making him leave hi...

ELEKTRAWMN · ELEKTRAWMN

Hi everyone. Question for you. I read over and over again about not engaging with our addicts. We can't control whether they are using or not. Time and time again I read that when people have seen or know their addict is using they walk away, don't react, etc. But does that show the addict we "c...

Bluefin · Bluefin

My daughter is married to an addict, for years she thought he was bi polar and he was being treated for that by a doctor. He wanted her to keep that a secret and she believed that he had his right to privacy so for years our family saw strange behavior but got no answers, he abused her but she didn't tell anyo...

Pushka · Pushka

Well, .. my AH has a history of doing things that affect the family with no regard of the big picture. The truck .. LOL .. that has been a theme and I'm really have got to get myself into some kind of dark comedy writing course or something. Off topic one of my girlfriends who rocks in ways I can't begin to de...

Pushka · Pushka

My avatar is what I did for myself this weekend. I happened to the grocery store and they were selling 1 dozen roses for 1$. They are on their last legs they were so pretty I picked up 2$ worth. I'm sooo glad I did they look so pretty on my kitchen table (clean kitchen table). It has been nice to just enjoy...

Very Very Tired · Very Very Tired

I've had a rough couple of days. Feeling a lot of emotions. After all of these months, it is still hard for me to pick up the phone and call someone. I was sitting outside today, tears flowing, beginning to drown in my own self-pity, trying to grab some serenity and failing miserably. Then, I remembered...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

With all the bad things that are happening in the world today, I feel so blessed to live where I do w/ the people I live with. Not to seem callous or anything to any of you who are suffering right now, but I am happy & content where I am. Sunday is a very important day to so many--especially to the survivor...

Lindaoakford · Lindaoakford

Hi guys I have been doing well I think. Handing it over, not taking it personally, not reacting. Him noticing the change in me etc. I have been laughing and smiling again at times I even felt calm. Yesterday my husband asked me to go fishing with him today. IN the past we have talked and I 'accept' that h...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi everyone, My ABF has been back out there for over two months after being sober for 9 months its his journey and i do believe he will get back into programme he is already talking about it. I have told him I want no contact that we both need to sort ourselves out. I have not ruled out a relationship in the f...

ineedhelpnow · ineedhelpnow

How do you know when the sponsor you signed up with is actually not working out? I've heard people in groups say that they didn't like what their sponsor told them and they stuck it out. My sponsor points out my flaws but she's sick too so how is a sponsor credible? She'll ask my questions and then halfway...

ineedhelpnow · ineedhelpnow

Hello: I posted a question earlier about how to determine if your sponsor is helping you or hurting you. Now I need to know how to best deal with running into her in future meetings. We go to the same meeting one day a week and I will not stop going to that meeting. She has been in the program for many,, ma...

maresie · maresie

There are times most days when I would give a lot to be away from the addicts I live with and have to deal with. Watching them progress in their disease from whatever vantage point is not pretty. These days however I do have boundaries. I do have perspective. I do have self preservation. I didn't have t...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Cleaning out some "stuff" (Preview) As I was cleaning tonight I found an old picture of myself taken just about 8 years or so ago. Wow did I look different and more relaxed for sure. I realized that the reason for most or all of my "depression" and crying over my exA bf not being here is more about the "lost years" than it...	glad	3	361	Sep 17, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	Update and help I'm flummoxed (Preview) Hello lovely people, Update: I've left my RA, arranged an intervention of sorts [ he is dry but was acting way off] and am staying in hotels until next Monday. Then I come home. Flummox: I was hoping for a separation and a 'wait and see' while my RA got his act together. Well, last night I talked to RA. He h...	rara avis	22	683	Sep 17, 2011 by rara avis
	Survivor guilt (Preview) I just got a great new job, and will be moving to a very nice apartment... my life is going very well right now. My sister is schizophrenic, and may never get to have a normal life with a job and a nice apartment and stuff the way I do now. She may never even get her drivers' license. As happy as I am that good thi...	atheos	7	677	Sep 16, 2011 by rara avis
	meeting went well... (Preview) I am happy to say the meeting went well on Tuesday. I am just so grateful for old-timers who kept the meeting going as well as some newer people. It is funny; I went in there thinking" Oh boy I am nervous!" It was like I thought but the reading I picked ended up being the wrong reading for that nigh...	Hoot Nanny	3	353	Sep 16, 2011 by maresie
	wanting to share this with you if you have the time (Preview) there are so many posters on this site whos loved ones are still drinking, which i think is a very painful place for all. its a big open wound that weeps all the time...so this has made me want to share a bit of my story with you....and also I confess, this site is becoming my daily fix so if you want to listen...	rosielee	10	568	Sep 16, 2011 by pinkchip
	Not so sure... (Preview) that I'm positng this in the right place, but hopefully someone has some wisdom. Today I had to separate myself from my alcoholic/addict brother. Things have deteriorated so much that I just can't take the lashing out and middle of the night screaming phone messages. I went and got the car project...	Dharma	10	821	Sep 16, 2011 by Dharma
	Triggers (Preview) Funny how stuff can trigger the feelings I have not yet processed from the eXA's incredible downward spiral (during which I left him). A friend of mine from work is talking about going to live with his relatives in part parking himself on them because he is stuck on a job front. Some of it is that he wants...	maresie	3	591	Sep 16, 2011 by amills4294
	Consequences, boundaries, acceptable behavior, etc... (Preview) How do we decide what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior? What consequences does our qualifier face for their behavior? I'm really struggling with this today. I had a lot of time to think today (long train ride) and while I am still feeling good & positive about everything, I am also s...	usedtobeanyer	14	1231	Sep 16, 2011 by usedtobeanyer
	Messed up kids (Preview) Hi everyone, this is my first time to this board. My AH husband has been sober 5 months, and I have been attending f2f al anon meetings for this amount of time. Although both of us are working on recovery and being quite successful, it seems that our teenage sons are getting worse. We have two boys age 15...	tinkerbell	11	954	Sep 16, 2011 by clep
	spirituality help please!!! (Preview) I'm stuck on step 2 and 3... I'm not a real religious person I guess... I'm really not getting this higher power thing at all??? I mean I would like to hope that there is one!!! I guess I've never experienced anything like a higher power before... I really believe that anything "good" that has...	kris10	7	531	Sep 16, 2011 by Dharma
	sharing (Preview) Hi everyone, I am sharing at a convention tomorrow I have shared a couple of times and always get lots from it. I love conventions when our two fellowships come together. However tomorrow I am sharing in front of al anon and AA members I am a bit scared there will be lots of people there and I want to do it p...	Tracy	7	420	Sep 16, 2011 by rosielee
	12 Concepts of Service (Preview) Any of you guys have some ESH on the 12 Concepts? I was asked to give a talk on the concepts next month with a focus on 3 and 4. I have looked through my literature cabinet and it is a challenge to find anything on the concepts. Your suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, Tommye	tommyecat	5	3989	Sep 16, 2011 by tommyecat
	Ive had enough! (Preview) I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been an alcholic,but has a very important job and makes great money.and has been able to keep this job through all his drinking.He has had 3 prior drunk drivings over the years but has always used his money and power to get out of them.So he has never...	rubyhunter	6	510	Sep 16, 2011 by rosielee
	life house skit (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA	matisa	2	3780	Sep 15, 2011 by david62
	Why does my AH always try to blame me for his using? (Preview) Hi there everyone, New to this whole al-anon thing but really can't do this alone anymore. I have friends to talk to but they don't fully understand because they do not have an A spouse. Bless them, they try. Anyway, not a day goes by that I am told "well if you would change" or " you alway...	Jonesy0505	14	630	Sep 15, 2011 by RLC
	1st time here (reallllllly need some advice) - Dad is in Hospital... (Preview) Hi all, This is the first time posting here, and I'm not quite sure how or what to really write. Forgive me if it sounds as though I'm rambling and not making any sense...my head is just a little out of sorts, I'm confused, and super stressed. I'm reaching out because I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I...	Kicks611	12	485	Sep 15, 2011 by pinkchip
	Oh JOY! It is all good! (Preview) Just want to say that it is good because God is good. I have to say that my sponsor always says that it is "all good". I sometimes agree w/ her. Today is one of those days. I had a long weekend w/ my TOPS rally. I had to get up early & recovered from it on Sunday. I am so glad it is MONDAY! Sounds str...	Hoot Nanny	3	521	Sep 15, 2011 by tommyecat
	Trying to be a supportive husband (Preview) My wife is currently in rehab for alcohol and bulimia. She's been to rehab a few times over the past couple of years, but I'm hoping that this time around is going to be the one that sticks. I think she's finally ready to accept the way things have turned out and do what she has to. I haven't seen her in ove...	Derek	6	672	Sep 15, 2011 by rrib
	they are crazy (Preview) Crazy can sometimes be over whelming when the person who is affecting you happens to be someone who thinks its ok to harasses you just because they knew you a long time ago but could not get over you, so they show back up in your life refusing to leave you alone, why is it people don't understand what harass...	matisa	3	473	Sep 15, 2011 by hotrod
	The Question of to stay or go... (Preview) The question about getting better in same house was my question for a long time and, like it sounds for so many others too,, there were break ups and returns and drama,, finally in what I thought was probably just another "break up" my AH live in boyfriend for 7 years left and he has stayed gone...	glad	7	749	Sep 15, 2011 by Rora
	First time posting :) (Preview) Hi - It's my first time on a forum like this, actually it's my first time making any sort of contact with alanon. My husband is no longer in the family home due to his drinking and today was the day from hell. I have been left in a bit of a mess with the finances and felt so ashamed when I had to phone the bank to...	Aly	8	547	Sep 14, 2011 by Doozy
	Lonely (Preview) Today is a different kind of day. I am home alone, it has been 2 weeks since my boyfriend went to rehab. Before he relapsed I thought everything was getting better. He was starting to take a lower dose of suboxone. He was getting back on his feet finding work and he even asked me to marry him. After that it w...	elizabethcontreras	15	716	Sep 14, 2011 by likemyheart
	The impossible is possible!! (Preview) know there are many times when we wonder... why do we keep trying, why we keep holding on, why we keep letting go, why we keep silent, why we keep screaming, why we keep pushing, why we keep pulling, doing so much, and yet there is no one else we are foolin... it all hurts, and we don't want to hurt any more.....	John	6	510	Sep 14, 2011 by oldergal
	wonderful video in "why Alcoholism is a disease listed by AMA" sticky above. (Preview) The "sticky" above -why alcoholism is listed as a disease helped me so very much... The video, which was not a "sermon" helped with the "worries" I have obsessed about over the years... answered so many of the "why" questions I've had. Thanks so much for...	glad	0	305	Sep 14, 2011 by glad
	The journey (Preview) life, not an easy journey, but a journey that without all its twist and turns would be a journey without the very things that teach us how to navigate the roads of life that lay ahead, and guides us to the best in its moments of despair to let go of the wheel, and start looking for the scenic route. john	John	0	352	Sep 14, 2011 by John
	Lightening bolt thought .. (Preview) LOL .. and ya'll thought it was the whole not my business .. nope. I'm right where I need to be in my healing today. Even in the throws of pain which I would have and could have happially done without, I am exactly where I need to be in terms of healing from this past year. I have learned so much about myself a...	Pushka	9	646	Sep 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	Feelings (Preview) Today was my birthday. Not a big deal really; we didn't have major plans to celebrate and I was ok with that. We did decide that we'd get take out from my favorite nearby restaurant and have some ice cream for dessert. And I have to say, I was looking forward to that, as little as it was. But when I got home, my...	usedtobeanyer	12	621	Sep 14, 2011 by hotrod
	The Disease Took another LIFE this weekend. (Preview) My son's friend decided (while under the influence) that his addiction was too much to handle. While in the depths of his drunken state of mind felt that by taking a gun to his own head he could end the pain of his demons the ones that haunted him daily. Oddly, strangly, curiously the face book page...	Peggy7	9	590	Sep 14, 2011 by Breakingfree
	Cluttered mind syndrom (Preview) Where is Peggy? In the past few weeks one son who had finally found sobriety of nearly a year was in a major car accident while driving to work. Side effects upon leaving the trauma unit consist of short term memory loss, chest pains, trouble sleeping, loss of his job. Other son just lost a dear friend t...	Peggy7	8	716	Sep 14, 2011 by Debilyn
	self obessed "self gratification" conversation (Preview) im an adult child of an alcohlic mother thankfully my dramas are over (apart from the occaisional bad phase) and mostly i tend to sympathise more with the people who are having to live with this disease on a daily basis- thats where it can get heavy going so anyways...as an adult child i am lucky enough t...	rosielee	11	771	Sep 14, 2011 by rosielee
	Been Awhile (Preview) It's been awhile since I've been on the board and since my last post. I have missed my last two weekly F2F meetings, too. I did get the promotion at work and it has been a whirlwind! It's fantastic. And so demanding, but I love it. But I feel guilty about the F2F meeting. The last one I attended, I just p...	NovSun	5	449	Sep 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	AH diagnosed with Cirrhosis (Preview) This is my first post to a message board I have been reading a very long time. August 9, 2011 I took my AH husband to the emergency room with a belly as big as a 8 month pregnant woman. His eyes were yellow, he has lost all his body weight, muscle mass, etc. He bascially stopped eating and would drink from t...	Woodenships	10	736	Sep 14, 2011 by Woodenships
	Not my business ... (Preview) That is such an interesting statement and it can provoke powerful responses, especially if married, how can that not be my business that is my life partner!!? Tonight at our meeting someone shared something that I thought was amazing, what not my business means, it's not rude or meant in that way, my...	Pushka	5	667	Sep 14, 2011 by Jozie
	light at the end of the tunnel (Preview) I have been feeling pretty lonely lately. I thought I would dabble in dating! I've gone back and forth on it. One minute I think I am too needy and next I think why not. I've also been feeling kind of torn. Setting limits and bottom lines is hard stuff. After all I feel like I owe the world for being alive....	maresie	4	390	Sep 14, 2011 by maresie
	Self-focus (Preview) In alanon we are taught about advice giving and trying to orchestrate other people's lives. It is said that to do that takes away from ourselves and our self-focus. March 25th in Courage to Change really struck me today. The line "to listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart...&quo...	youfoundme	9	619	Sep 14, 2011 by youfoundme
	Can I really get better while still in the same house?? (Preview) New to this.. First post. I'm really wondering if one can truely "turn a cheek" to all this and get better?? Or is that just keeping our feelings inside until we blow up??? Cuz most of the time lately this is how I feel.. Please remember I just started with this (step one and two)..... Does it g...	kris10	16	706	Sep 14, 2011 by kris10
	chairing the meeting tonight (Preview) I am kind of anxious about chairing the meeting tonight at an out-of-town meeting--I have been there many times but have never chaired this meeting. It is a great meeting whether there are many or few. Maybe because summer is ending, there will be a good crowd. I am not nervous about chairing the meetin...	Hoot Nanny	4	756	Sep 14, 2011 by Pushka
	Closes a door and opens a window... (Preview) Well, earlier this week I decided to turn down a job offer. I wrestled with it and decided I didn't want to move right now. Partially, this is because of my recovery work and I don't want to get derailed when I'm making so much progress. It's too much stress right now. So... I wrestled and decided to turn it...	Doozy	3	357	Sep 14, 2011 by tommyecat
	What to Say to AH (Preview) Question how to handle something for those of you who've ever separated from your A. My AH is in inpatient rehab now after several hospitalizations and being unable to stay sober enough for outpatient, and going on a bender with his own mother (who'd been sober 22 years). He hasn't lived with me sinc...	nyc018	9	768	Sep 14, 2011 by rosielee
	Even though I know why!!!! (Preview) ok I am venting, I know better than what I am saying!! Just spitting out my imperfect me! RRRRRR son's fb is gone. HUH? He calls to check in. Hey what happened to your fb. Oh he says it is causing too many problems. HUH? His not wife cept on paper is accusing him of cheating and all that bolony. My son has very...	Debilyn	3	513	Sep 14, 2011 by rosielee
	Productive :) (Preview) Wow I had more steam in my engine than I thought .. LOL. I have rearranged the computer area, which cleared out a ton of clutter. I'm still going through it just taking a quick break. I'm going to pay for this tomorrow .. gak .. oh well, I"m hoping for just some sore muscles. I'm not sure I like the s...	Pushka	11	630	Sep 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Trying to learn how to heal (Preview) I am 28 years old and have an alcoholic mother. In the last year, with the help of God, my boyfriend, and his family I have finally begun to uncover the scars from mental and emotional abuse as I was growing up and deal with them properly. As a survival mechanism, I clamped down on all the anger and resentm...	scholarlydragon	7	472	Sep 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Do I stay or do I go now? (Preview) Hi, I'm new to Al Anon, but not new to AA. I'm trying to decide whether to stay and work on me while continuing my marriage with my AH, or if I need to leave to be able to finish my work. Going to just let it all out...and hope for the best here. Been married for 25 years and he is the love of my life. However the l...	janetteaa	11	768	Sep 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Light at the end of this tunnel?? (Preview) Well, I haven't posted in a bit because I've been out of town. I'm back now and have a couple things to put out there. I'm really hoping to get to a meeting or meetings this week because I really need the support. I joined Alanon and this group primarily because of my pain at the end of a 3-yr relationship wit...	Doozy	8	522	Sep 13, 2011 by Pushka
	Quotes (Preview) Just a few of my favorites I wanted to share. Enjoy!There is so much satisifaction in work well done; praise is sweet, but there can be no happiness equal to the joy of finding a heart that truly understands - Victor RobinsonMay God give you eyes to see the beauty only the heart can understand unknown...	tommyecat	5	610	Sep 13, 2011 by Doozy
	A look at my weird (Preview) Tonight Ive been messing with my latest experiment. This morning I was doing something that made me start wondering why I couldnt make some kind of concentrated coffee thing that you just add a few tablespoons of the concentrate to a cup of hot liquid to make coffee that tastes fresh from the pot. So, af...	likemyheart	9	541	Sep 13, 2011 by NovSun
	oops! for Hannah (Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B8ISzf2pryI	Debilyn	0	345	Sep 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	(Preview) http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=B8ISzf2pryI	Debilyn	0	379	Sep 13, 2011 by Debilyn
	I aksed him to go. Now he's angry and i'm devasted (Preview) I asked my husband to leave today... he has had a binge drinking problem since i met him. After 3 years i fanally had enough today and asked him to leave. He manages to stay dry for six weeks at a time and then the seventh week is hell. Thing is i miss him already and now he's angry with me for making him leave hi...	bellaellaella	10	748	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Not reacting = a blind eye? (Preview) Hi everyone. Question for you. I read over and over again about not engaging with our addicts. We can't control whether they are using or not. Time and time again I read that when people have seen or know their addict is using they walk away, don't react, etc. But does that show the addict we "c...	ELEKTRAWMN	13	730	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	How do I quit feeling (Preview) My daughter is married to an addict, for years she thought he was bi polar and he was being treated for that by a doctor. He wanted her to keep that a secret and she believed that he had his right to privacy so for years our family saw strange behavior but got no answers, he abused her but she didn't tell anyo...	Bluefin	9	871	Sep 12, 2011 by Bluefin
	Do I or Don't I .. (Preview) Well, .. my AH has a history of doing things that affect the family with no regard of the big picture. The truck .. LOL .. that has been a theme and I'm really have got to get myself into some kind of dark comedy writing course or something. Off topic one of my girlfriends who rocks in ways I can't begin to de...	Pushka	5	707	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	Something for myself (Preview) My avatar is what I did for myself this weekend. I happened to the grocery store and they were selling 1 dozen roses for 1$. They are on their last legs they were so pretty I picked up 2$ worth. I'm sooo glad I did they look so pretty on my kitchen table (clean kitchen table). It has been nice to just enjoy...	Pushka	6	431	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	I am thankful for my sponsor (Preview) I've had a rough couple of days. Feeling a lot of emotions. After all of these months, it is still hard for me to pick up the phone and call someone. I was sitting outside today, tears flowing, beginning to drown in my own self-pity, trying to grab some serenity and failing miserably. Then, I remembered...	Very Very Tired	6	362	Sep 12, 2011 by youfoundme
	just another day in PARADISE! (Preview) With all the bad things that are happening in the world today, I feel so blessed to live where I do w/ the people I live with. Not to seem callous or anything to any of you who are suffering right now, but I am happy & content where I am. Sunday is a very important day to so many--especially to the survivor...	Hoot Nanny	7	454	Sep 12, 2011 by Hoot Nanny
	here we go again (Preview) Hi guys I have been doing well I think. Handing it over, not taking it personally, not reacting. Him noticing the change in me etc. I have been laughing and smiling again at times I even felt calm. Yesterday my husband asked me to go fishing with him today. IN the past we have talked and I 'accept' that h...	Lindaoakford	16	653	Sep 12, 2011 by rosielee
	strength (Preview) Hi everyone, My ABF has been back out there for over two months after being sober for 9 months its his journey and i do believe he will get back into programme he is already talking about it. I have told him I want no contact that we both need to sort ourselves out. I have not ruled out a relationship in the f...	Tracy	6	526	Sep 12, 2011 by Debilyn
	Sponsor Conflict - How do you know... (Preview) How do you know when the sponsor you signed up with is actually not working out? I've heard people in groups say that they didn't like what their sponsor told them and they stuck it out. My sponsor points out my flaws but she's sick too so how is a sponsor credible? She'll ask my questions and then halfway...	ineedhelpnow	6	1059	Sep 12, 2011 by maresie
	Ex sponsor in same meeting...the aftermath (Preview) Hello: I posted a question earlier about how to determine if your sponsor is helping you or hurting you. Now I need to know how to best deal with running into her in future meetings. We go to the same meeting one day a week and I will not stop going to that meeting. She has been in the program for many,, ma...	ineedhelpnow	10	848	Sep 12, 2011 by maresie
	gratitude (Preview) There are times most days when I would give a lot to be away from the addicts I live with and have to deal with. Watching them progress in their disease from whatever vantage point is not pretty. These days however I do have boundaries. I do have perspective. I do have self preservation. I didn't have t...	maresie	7	961	Sep 12, 2011 by hotrod
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.