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Update
(Preview)
Thanks to everyone who replied to my post ¨How Important Is It?¨ You gave me lots to think about and I've been thinking hard on it the last two days. My mind kept returning to a couple of things: ¨ "You have two choices. You can either leave the dirty dishes in the sink and let them rot for weeks O...
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pineapple
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11
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696
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you cut me open...
(Preview)
Lyrics from a song that have particular resonance for me today. "You cut me open, and I keep bleeding love..." I was woken up this morning by a call from my mother. First thing she says to me is "Don't be angry and yell at me. I've been drinking." I told her it had been fairly obvi...
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scholarlydragon
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4
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620
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The old guilty vicitm
(Preview)
She follows me around and makes me think of the past. She makes me sit on the pitty pot in my present and she makes me sad about my future. I can't help what and where I come from. I work a diligent program to wipe away the dysfunction and yet there she is, this sad little girl follows me around. My sponsor and I...
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Breakingfree
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7
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700
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Priorities
(Preview)
A few years ago when I was so over involved with the ex A I saw a psychiatrist and he told me my priorities were all way off. I had no idea what he was talking about. Wasn't it the ex A who had all the problems. I was so much in denial about what it was doing to my mental health. These days living as I do, surround...
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maresie
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5
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728
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anger and frustration
(Preview)
My mother is currently trying to recover from a breakup. The man she had been with for 16 years left after beating her. She is, understandably, very upset over this. There is a reason why Stockholm Syndrome is a thing, and she loved him in the first place, or thought that she did. She's wavering betwe...
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scholarlydragon
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5
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1056
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Does anyone else "get this" ?
(Preview)
When growing up or in life prior to alanon...Does anyone else here remember ever being taught to "take care of yourself" or love yourself or think about what is in your own best interest ( and then take action to achieve that FOR YOURSELF )growing up? Were you taught to be all that you can be bu...
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glad
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8
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764
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RA refusing to leave my house
(Preview)
Hey everybody, Update: I am staying with friends, the idea of which was to give my RA a little extra time to move out. Things had been arranged with his friends, truck, etc... I told him I was unable to talk until I felt more composed. Now I get a message from him saying he is refusing to move 'unless he has...
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rara avis
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20
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713
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Feelings of Guilt
(Preview)
Ive been trying to implement Alanon principles as best as I can going to f2f meetings, and reading Getting them Sober which describes so well irrational guilt. At the same time my AH is doing everything to destroy my serenity and my attempts to be free of guilt and the actions Ive taken as a response...
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nyc018
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10
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674
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He got his furlough today
(Preview)
I am so excited my AH got his furlough today, he got 5hrs supervised furlough. But supervision was with his lawyer.Yeah!!! So he took care of his things at college, was able to put money in the bank. Then he came home to shower and the landlord stopped over and my AH was able to tell him what happened. I did...
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jmanning
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9
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491
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((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))
(Preview)
I'm sure you all know how much I love you all. Thanks for the special birthday wishes and love. You all give me what you have learned in recovery so that I can give it away to others in need and you don't live in my head; you live in my heart. I hope for you all and for those fortunate enough to touch your r...
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Jerry F
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4
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695
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Is my husband an alcoholic?
(Preview)
Hi, My husband is in 37 yrs old and he has a very stressful career. For a few years now he has been drinking 70 proof Southern Comfort several night a week (usually Fri,Sat, and Sun night, not during the work week) He has 2 to 2.5 glasses each time. About 350ml . It ends up that the largest bottle you ca...
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Ava2010
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14
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4753
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Drama
(Preview)
I don't have much drama in my life right now, thankfully. I'm so sooooo grateful for this, because I had so much drama for so long! My best friend is another story. She has drama day in and day out with her in-laws (her FIL is an A). Yesterday she and I were on instant message while we were each at work. Sh...
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White Rabbit
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8
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1210
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Everyone Wish Jerry F A Happy Birthday !!!
(Preview)
Happy Birthday Jerry F.....I hope you have a wonderful day!!! Memory Lane: In my first post on MIP I was very disappointed in you when I asked for advice.....and in your reply to my post all you gave me was Experience, Strenght, and Hope.....and you still do. HUGS, RLC -- Edited by RLC on Monday 19th o...
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RLC
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27
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3167
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another manic Tues.
(Preview)
Some days are very manicky for me. Right now I feel a rush to my head. I am going to make this short as I don't know what to say. I hope this is not a rambling mess. I want to recognize when I am not feeling up to par. Sometimes I feel like I should get on here every chance I get--like right now. I only usually spend...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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475
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"Say good bye to the world you thought you lived in"
(Preview)
This song on the radio had this line and the line truly speaks to where I'm at... that juncture in the road I have tried to avoid, for so hard and for so long. It's not easy, but I know I need to find a way to let go and say goodbye to the world that I thought I lived in... that place where I thought my love for my e...
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bud
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8
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944
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New 2 group & in a birthday conundrum!
(Preview)
Hi all! I'm new to the group and first want to say hello and thank you for being here. I have a problem and hopefully can get an answer today (sorry to post at the last minute but I just found you guys!) My birthday was on Sep. 1st and my AH's birthday is today, Sep. 15th. My AH had been sober now for over a year. I...
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sandy70
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25
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10594
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Don't understand ..
(Preview)
I just really have a hard time wrapping my brain around some of my A's behavior. He says things that he means in the moment that he just doesn't mean long term. It's so interesting and frustrating to watch. I know this is sooo the 3 C's as far as not my issue. He has gone and made "plans" and I'm...
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Pushka
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7
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763
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Where to begin?
(Preview)
I need help because I don't want to feel the way I feel. I don't know where to begin in my introduction so I thought I'd share everything I was thinking while I was thinking of how to begin this post. Sorry so long. I dont know where to begin. Will my kids think that the smell of alcohol is normal?Will I be le...
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ardnas
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10
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784
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Today's Courage to Change Sept 16 - struggling a bit with this one
(Preview)
in the 3rd paragraph from this reading it says "We are powerless over the results of our actions. We can try to make wise choices today, but what will happen in the future is out of our hands. Since we can't know what to expect, why not trust that a Higher Power can use whatever happens to further ou...
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amills4294
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4
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676
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Al-anon
(Preview)
can anyone tell me where an al-anon meeting is close to Wilson, or Greenville, nc. My family really needs to go and try to understand how I feel.
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harley
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5
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4854
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Steps for five and 6
(Preview)
Hi all feeling really positive thing I have just experienced a little leap i my recovery. I bought a CD at the convention the other day regarding steps 45 and 6. I have just listened to it. I have been bobbing around these steps for a while but I know feel really ready to do a fearless search of my own char...
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Tracy
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5
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441
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Sept 18, 2011
(Preview)
Felt better today than I have in almost a year. Seems like in part to being able to share and read here on this board. I enjoyed the day by myself and did not feel the least bit "alone" but rather peacefully by myself. Amazing... This week I have learned that I 1) was feeling sad over "spi...
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glad
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3
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498
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Mixed emotions today
(Preview)
I had so many mixed emotions today. My first class of the day in college first thing I was asked where is my other half is. Well I am type that always tells the truth. And all I could manage to say was he had an emergency and couldn't make it in. My teacher looked at me and asked if I was okay. I wondered could he r...
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jmanning
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7
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859
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cruise went well...but car trouble!
(Preview)
I gotta tell ya we almost didn't make it to the cruise on Saturday! My mom's car had some very serious car trouble! We had to travel over 60 miles just to get there & then we had to go up a couple of steep hills. Our HP was w/ us as we made it there & back! We also have great program friends who followed us...
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Hoot Nanny
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5
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470
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I feel so defeated
(Preview)
Most of us have had our ups and downs for years. I am no exception. Meetings, reading and therapy but I feel defeated. It is no easy task to live with an alcoholic or even a recovering alcoholic. I honestly don't know if my husband is totally free of alcohol; I sometimes think, which is what our ther...
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wifeofalcoholic
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6
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622
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Feeling discouraged
(Preview)
Sometimes it feels like two steps forward, two steps back in this business. My son and I were away thousands of miles from our home for a year while I was working elsewhere. I had a renter who walked out on the property early. My ex-AH stepped up to the plate and pitched in to take care of the pets for us inst...
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Mattie
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11
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600
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Functioning better this morning
(Preview)
Good Morning. First thanks for letting me post here and share my feelings. From my last post, my AH went to jail friday and I was lost without him. Wow I said was.... This morning is the first morning I didn't cry. This is also the first morning of college without him. It will be ackward because the first 2 c...
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jmanning
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7
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535
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made a decision
(Preview)
its been so many years living with this disease now that i pretty much live by the steps- before i knew what they were i had come to them naturally anyway. but since ive been on here ive noticed that i needed to address my need to fix everything. dont laugh- i know i answer all the posts here- and am hungry to...
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rosielee
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6
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585
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Al Anon has changed me
(Preview)
I tell ya if I had not been offered and learned all I have here, I would not have any hair left, or teeth either. Life is so frigging complicated, hectic. Bundling up in a corner sounds good sometimes. Nothing specific, just life. Have a certain amount of money. Needs to go to different places. I bought a n...
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Debilyn
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14
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811
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Forgiving ourselves
(Preview)
One of the things I have felt such shame about was how I both chose partners, married them, or became "attached" too quickly or got so triggered by what was going on I completely melted down. I have been really mean and judgmental to myself about that. Needless to say on some level I felt abso...
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maresie
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6
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732
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How Important Is It?
(Preview)
How Important Is It? This has been one of my mantras for months now. And it often has helped to defuse potential angry, resentful situations. But lately it hasn't helped. To those who don't know my situation, I cannot make him leave. We have a small guesthouse that we used to rent as a B&B. At my reque...
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pineapple
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16
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1025
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I can not go to meetings
(Preview)
NOT because I dont want to. I would love to! I would love to do soo many things that i just cant do. I have severe pannic attacks and agoraphobia that wont let me do alot. My A is the ONLY one who was here for me when noone else was. I was literally house bound. I am now going a few places with the help of my counsel...
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kris10
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4
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537
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concern for member
(Preview)
Ok I got very concerned about a new member. Sounds like some very serious stuff is going on. This person and I pm'ed. The situation is dire, she is alone in it. I shared all I could from my experience, keep them in my prayers. I felt pretty well geez what emotion? I needed to share what I could with out givin...
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Debilyn
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6
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603
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Drinking limits socialization
(Preview)
Married 20+ yrs and alcohol has been an on and off problem throughout. Had a wonderful 3 year period of abstaining but that ended 4 years ago. After one drink, he's cheerful and still connected. Any more than that and the words slightly slur or the eyelids bat more often - just enough that I notice. W...
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peggyjean
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8
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919
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Checking in
(Preview)
I haven't been on line for quite some time. Just letting you all know, I'm still here. Things are going really well for me. Still attending my F2F weekly meetings to help keep me on track. I live in Minnesota, so this time of the year is really busy. Winterizing, cutting/hauling wood for winter, yard cl...
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Sweet Stanley
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6
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513
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True Intimacy
(Preview)
Two trees growing close together, but not in each other's shadow Nature is a great teacher. A walk in a forest can teach us about life and help us to experience something far greater than ourselves. Suppose you came upon a colony of mushrooms decorating the forest floor, what would you see? At first, w...
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Katy
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6
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851
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MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MTG
(Preview)
I am unable to chair the Monday morning A-Anon Meeting as I will be out of the city all day. Hoping someone will be able to step up and chair. Thanks
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shimo
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0
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408
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Week in review ..
(Preview)
Well, things have gone really well around here. I think we are all battling a cold which is the pits and I feel really bad, because our eldest had a sleep over last night so I'm hoping her friend escapes the germs. Both my son and I have sore throats and he's got a cold to match as well as a small cough. I had t...
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Pushka
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5
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642
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Letting Go of Worry
(Preview)
What if we knew for certain that everything we're worried about today will work out fine? What if . . . we had a guarantee that the problem bothering us would be worked out in the most perfect way, and at the best possible time? Furthermore, what if we knew that three years from now we'd be grateful for that...
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glad lee
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4
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1793
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My Truth
(Preview)
Hi Everyone, I haven't posted lately but I've been reading a lot. My wife is a sober alcoholic of 16 months and she says that this is the first time she is really working the steps with sobriety. Lately she has been distant and not wanted much to do with me or the kids and I've been ok with that. I've been w...
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surfingmaestro
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8
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926
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can I make it short?
(Preview)
I just want to say that I am grateful & am looking forward to another beautiful day! I will let everyone know how the Speaker Boat Cruise went today on Monday. I decided to go w/ my mom & husband. It should be a nice experience. I have mentioned before that I really didn't want to go w/ my mom but afte...
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Hoot Nanny
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2
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562
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So many things I think about....
(Preview)
Up again late at night... Wondering thought.. So many questions.. My story...(Try to make short) I met my A bf a year and a half ago... While still holding on to a horrible relationship with my sons father (whom was abusive in EVERY way you can possibly think of) I must say that my sons father and I were NO...
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kris10
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3
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641
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Boundaries being tested for the 1st time tonight...
(Preview)
It was a pretty good day all in all. I stayed focused on me and stayed as positive as I could. Up until that is... I got the text " am I allowed to come home tonight? I had a drink" to which I replied " you made your choice". So he followed with "ok see you tomorrow after work and I'm s...
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Jonesy0505
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13
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640
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convention
(Preview)
Hi All, just got back from the convention I managed to share on top table in front of AA and al anon memebers I was scared but feel good another milestone paast. The convention was called miracles al anon is my miracle I am so glad to be a member of this wonderful fellowship. hugs tracy xx
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Tracy
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1
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444
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Program Practicin Kinda Week...
(Preview)
What a Day... Work was Insane today, Some much to do and I got so Much done, It was Fast Moving, but managable for a change, it was kinda nice... My Husband Took off early to spend the night at camp, and I have to Say, I have had an Amazing Evenning with my Son, The 1st Night I have had him All to myself for over a...
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Jozie
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2
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464
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Cleaning out some "stuff"
(Preview)
As I was cleaning tonight I found an old picture of myself taken just about 8 years or so ago. Wow did I look different and more relaxed for sure. I realized that the reason for most or all of my "depression" and crying over my exA bf not being here is more about the "lost years" than it...
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glad
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3
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444
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Update and help I'm flummoxed
(Preview)
Hello lovely people, Update: I've left my RA, arranged an intervention of sorts [ he is dry but was acting way off] and am staying in hotels until next Monday. Then I come home. Flummox: I was hoping for a separation and a 'wait and see' while my RA got his act together. Well, last night I talked to RA. He h...
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rara avis
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22
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763
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Survivor guilt
(Preview)
I just got a great new job, and will be moving to a very nice apartment... my life is going very well right now. My sister is schizophrenic, and may never get to have a normal life with a job and a nice apartment and stuff the way I do now. She may never even get her drivers' license. As happy as I am that good thi...
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atheos
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7
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757
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meeting went well...
(Preview)
I am happy to say the meeting went well on Tuesday. I am just so grateful for old-timers who kept the meeting going as well as some newer people. It is funny; I went in there thinking" Oh boy I am nervous!" It was like I thought but the reading I picked ended up being the wrong reading for that nigh...
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Hoot Nanny
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3
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428
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wanting to share this with you if you have the time
(Preview)
there are so many posters on this site whos loved ones are still drinking, which i think is a very painful place for all. its a big open wound that weeps all the time...so this has made me want to share a bit of my story with you....and also I confess, this site is becoming my daily fix so if you want to listen...
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rosielee
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10
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644
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Not so sure...
(Preview)
that I'm positng this in the right place, but hopefully someone has some wisdom. Today I had to separate myself from my alcoholic/addict brother. Things have deteriorated so much that I just can't take the lashing out and middle of the night screaming phone messages. I went and got the car project...
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Dharma
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10
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907
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Triggers
(Preview)
Funny how stuff can trigger the feelings I have not yet processed from the eXA's incredible downward spiral (during which I left him). A friend of mine from work is talking about going to live with his relatives in part parking himself on them because he is stuck on a job front. Some of it is that he wants...
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maresie
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3
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676
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Consequences, boundaries, acceptable behavior, etc...
(Preview)
How do we decide what is acceptable and what is unacceptable behavior? What consequences does our qualifier face for their behavior? I'm really struggling with this today. I had a lot of time to think today (long train ride) and while I am still feeling good & positive about everything, I am also s...
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usedtobeanyer
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14
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1328
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Messed up kids
(Preview)
Hi everyone, this is my first time to this board. My AH husband has been sober 5 months, and I have been attending f2f al anon meetings for this amount of time. Although both of us are working on recovery and being quite successful, it seems that our teenage sons are getting worse. We have two boys age 15...
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tinkerbell
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11
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1066
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spirituality help please!!!
(Preview)
I'm stuck on step 2 and 3... I'm not a real religious person I guess... I'm really not getting this higher power thing at all??? I mean I would like to hope that there is one!!! I guess I've never experienced anything like a higher power before... I really believe that anything "good" that has...
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kris10
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7
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611
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sharing
(Preview)
Hi everyone, I am sharing at a convention tomorrow I have shared a couple of times and always get lots from it. I love conventions when our two fellowships come together. However tomorrow I am sharing in front of al anon and AA members I am a bit scared there will be lots of people there and I want to do it p...
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Tracy
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7
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505
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12 Concepts of Service
(Preview)
Any of you guys have some ESH on the 12 Concepts? I was asked to give a talk on the concepts next month with a focus on 3 and 4. I have looked through my literature cabinet and it is a challenge to find anything on the concepts. Your suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance, Tommye
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tommyecat
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5
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4483
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Ive had enough!
(Preview)
I have been with my husband for 20 years and he has always been an alcholic,but has a very important job and makes great money.and has been able to keep this job through all his drinking.He has had 3 prior drunk drivings over the years but has always used his money and power to get out of them.So he has never...
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rubyhunter
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6
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591
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life house skit
(Preview)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA
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matisa
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2
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4238
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Why does my AH always try to blame me for his using?
(Preview)
Hi there everyone, New to this whole al-anon thing but really can't do this alone anymore. I have friends to talk to but they don't fully understand because they do not have an A spouse. Bless them, they try. Anyway, not a day goes by that I am told "well if you would change" or " you alway...
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Jonesy0505
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14
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714
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