Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Well, it's been awhile since I was last on this board. Things had been really really good with my AH for about 3 months. It has been quite awhile since my first (and only) Alanon meeting too... but I had to go back last night to one, and here I am on this board again. So - back in January I went to his psychologi...

silent · silent

ive watched my a/d b/f ex now go through some looked like death withdraws time and time over chills/skin on fire diareha throwing up high fever of 106 i know on one of his withdraws,and you know its like im going through the withdraws just like him in trying to get him out of my life and systom.i feel like th...

silent · silent

my a/d b/f just put his facebook statis from being in a relationship with me to being single soo i went back and changed mine back to being single too,my eyes just started tearing up when i went into my face book and saw that he had done that ,wow why should it even bother me in the least bit and y didnt i alread...

Tigger · Tigger

What do I do with all the anger? Change expectations...done. Detach with love...done. Be philosophical...done. See the opportunity for growth...yup. But all this anger is burning me up (literally hot and sweaty and can't sleep) and I need practical suggestions please! I feel like I'm lyi...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

I am working on deciding to turn my will over to my HP. I think I've done it, but want to really meditate on what all that entails. It's really deep when you think about it. My biggest issue is that I feel so vulnerable. My AH is still actively drinking. He isn't coming home until late most nights and insists...

silent · silent

im starting to itch like crazy again now i know why -its my nerves,i had stopped itching yesterday and thought it was all from chiggers or something that maybe my dog was bringing in,but thats not it im starting to itch all over again and its just now starting since he changed his statis to being single ag...

maire rua · maire rua

A- brother has returned and is tapping everyone for money again. I had voiced concerns some years ago but have been told by family members how he was doing just fine. Some years ago he lived with me for 8 months, never paid a dime for food or rent, really burnt me. I find it hard not to be angry still. Guess I'...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone, Update: My lawyer saw the picture of the television "gift" my ex RA left onmy street and advised that we can and should move quickly onto upgrading the stay away order to a regular restraining order. This is such a frustrating situation, as everything seemed to have run it's c...

Aloha · Aloha

Usedtobe's post reminded me of one of the wonderful speakers we had at the Big Island Bash here last weekend. Dave F., Alcoholic, from Flowermound, Texas was one of our guest speakers, and I was just overjoyed when he said the following. "How many Alcoholics do we have in here?" (A glance ar...

GatorGirl82 · GatorGirl82

Hi everyone and thank you all for the wisdom and insights that you have provided me during the short time I have been viewing this website, in desperate search for answers. Im incredibly new to Al-Anon but am somewhat familiar to the 12-Step fellowship since Im in the mental health field. A part of me fe...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

This wk. I said "no" to both my qualifiers asking for money, saying they needed it for food and gas for car, both sounding very serious and needy. In the past I would have felt badly for them and given in. I feel so good because they both excepted it and hasn't called continuing to ask. I than...

silent · silent

its 5:21am my time been up since 1:30am went to bed at 10pm oh well been very bust this early moring i managed to put one foot in front of the other and get in the shower which was much needed and read my scriptures and lotion my feet and legs and watched a gr8t movie on tv thart was very inpireing and did alot of...

Anniepie1976 · Anniepie1976

So, basically I used to attend in my 20's and at that time I was able to have a home group. I just started going again as a 35 yr old realizing I need this program and that it's not like riding a bike again. It's more like I didn't ride long enough or I fell off so to speak. So I was at my 2nd group recently and du...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

My AH just came home wasted after playing golf all day. Normally, there would have been a big blow out, but I'm keeping my cool and being genuinely polite. I think my new calm and resolve to avoid conflict is starting to unnerve him. I think he thinks I'm up to something. Lol. It's kind of funny in a way. I j...

Kim101 · Kim101

For years people have suggested to me to go to Al-Anon meetings and I finally did because a co worker suggested it as well. Plus its not far from where I live. But I told her that I am still trying to figure it out. She suggested i go to at least 6 meetings . I will try it, but what exactly am I suppose to get out o...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Just checking in with you. been busy at work. hope everyone is doing ok and those that aren't, just remember that whatever it is, it too will pass.

Tracy · Tracy

Been reading this morning after feeling guilty over break up with my ex af. Wow Hp has brought me lots of insight into how my disease trying to fix has affected me, ex bf, my kids, parents,family friends, work mates even the dog. I love my ex but I need to be alone with my hp to do my work. My e is very sick at mo...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My 7 yr. old granddaughter called me, she went back to her dad's on the 14th. after spring break. I spoke to her since then, but when she called me Fri. I asked her if she had talked to her mom since she went back to her dad's she said no her mom's wasn't answering her phone. I realized then her mom's phone is...

thechee · thechee

...he called me. That was yesterday...and tho his voice in some odd way was music to my ears...it didn't affect me like I thought it would. See, I've been really working on a relationship with my HP and He has just been so good to me through all of this. He has been answering my prayers left and right. It wou...

Greensleeves · Greensleeves

I'm very glad to find this forum. I've already found an al-anon meeting in my area and made plans to attend. What I really need is for my husband to come with me. My 30 year old stepson has been an alcoholic since about age 13. His mom never wanted anything bad to happen to her baby, so she always shielded him...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I had a bit of a slip tonight before going to my meeting. This divorce stuff really sucks! I know that I need to move on, but why do I still feel the need to keep checking on my AH, even a year after moving out and now that we have started our divorce proceedings? I'm so glad I shared my slip with my home group. Th...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I made a mistake. Hurt my bad leg, Got badly cut up on my calve. I am taking care of it with betadine etc. Shoulda went to er but it's too far away.Besides I have been vetting a long time. Anyway of course I don't feel the best. Still doing what I need to though. I know it's the same old thing but geez this is how l...

silent · silent

he hasnt tried to contact me anymore thank gosh,not just becouse im in treatment in getting rid of this std he gave me but we arent any good for each other at all ,he is about drugs hard rocknroll tattooes and alcohol,vodka and sex of course,im to the oppisite,church,prayer treatment liveing a good cle...

debbiems · debbiems

Quick Update. After kicking my son out of the house, he got into trouble with his PO and is in jail, he has some other charges that he will have to face as we had to call the police on him for stealing. I just mailed a letter explaining I will no longer be in his life if he is going to continue to act like he has b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Ohana (MIP Family)...last time I started this there was a power outage so I didn't have enough or Higher Power to complete it...LOL (and we pay the highest per KWH in the entire world...Go figure) anyhow I had to go for my Al-Anon tools and elder sponsors lessons this morning because I had to d...

littlehawk · littlehawk

I haven't reached out further than my closest friend for help. I bought a book on codependency and I sort of half way relate to it. I am not sure where really to start here... So I'll try to spit this out.... I believe I am a codependent, living with an alcoholic who has admitted the problem, been to AA meeti...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I went on a sentimental journey this morning--opened up a box of my dad's belongings today. None of it was just "stuff" it all had meaning & some really awesome memories. I am so proud of him for his service to the U.S. government for over 35 years--I got his plaque which I have now that I am...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, AH just told me that he's losing his license for the month of May. He asked me to give him a ride to the airport next week. He told me he could take the shuttle but, of course, threw out the fact that it would cost $120 for both directions. We don't live near public transportation of any kind so can't fo...

lmsfnc · lmsfnc

I have been with my husband 10 years, through everything.He went through treatment and came home and it was so great. The problem was he was never home, then i found out that he had been spending a lot of time with only females going to meetings and coffee. he was lying to me. Now we are trying to fix somethi...

stephaniej · stephaniej

So after yet another confrontation about drinking last week, my AH made yet another declaration that he is going to "wean off alcohol and quit." I have said nothing to him about the subject, other than to say I support him, and that I know quitting must be very, very hard. Not surprisingly,...

amills4294 · amills4294

Next week on the 30th I signed up to lead a F2F meeting... I've never done this but it's very well laid out and scripted and I conduct training meetings for work all the time so I think I'll be ok. This is different because it's personal and there are a lot of long timers in the meeting. It is ACA specific wh...

cat4554 · cat4554

My husband of 31 years is a High Functioning Alcoholic. 11 years ago, his drinking was starting to get REALLY out of control. Before that, I always said my husband was a Jekyll / Hyde. Never fully accepting that even one glass of wine could alter his personality. Over 2.5 years ago it was so bad,...

Pushka · Pushka

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and someone shared something at the meeting today and what they said really hit me .. "Pain is touchstone of spiritual and emotional growth." Pain has hurled me forward and down the rabbit hole of growth even when I was kicking, screaming and clin...

Peachy219 · Peachy219

I know this is a crazy long post, but I feel the need to share this part of my journey with you all. I feel like if I dont share this, it will lose some of the magic it has brought to my life. And I want to hold on to this forever. I dont know any of you, but in the few days that Ive been coming here and reading your wor...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everybody, I am curious about ESH on creating balance within fear which may or may not be legitimatly based. My ex RA has become a master at skulking the borders of the stay away order. He has broken it once, obviously. Other times, I can't prove but have definitly seen him nearby. He seems to have m...

silent · silent

he wanted to know what i was doing i told him i was in a online meeting he said to callhim when i got a chance,i didnt call him i just went on to bed ,havent heard another word out of him since his text last nite,my freind helped me gather all the rest of his stuff up and bag it,whew it was alot more than ithought i...

orchidlover · orchidlover

After Christmas I didn't have enough work to sustain me so I asked the retail store I work at on the weekend for extra hours. They didn't give me any (well one doesn't count for much) and I was pretty upset. They had a new hire from Christmas they heaped the hours on. She got a ton of overtime too. After Ch...

DogMom · DogMom

It's been 3 weeks since AH said he wouldn't drink, it turns out he is back to just drinking when I go to sleep and hiding the evidence. I found some beer bottles while putting something away in a cabinet that I don't use everyday, but have used within the last couple weeks. He's at work now and I am trying...

Julie3310 · Julie3310

Hello Everyone, I know the last post I wrote I was sounding a lot stronger and happier about being done with my drug-addicted ex boyfriend. He recently got out of jail on the 13th and contacted me right away. Mind you, he moved back in with the mother of his child and has been using her phone to contact me....

silent · silent

i go to bed with him on my mind and wake up with him on my mind,omg whats wroong with me my freind is i know getting sick and tired of me talking about him she says im obsessing over him that im obsessed about him,its driveing my mind crazy ,all i can do is think about him,now im scared he is gonna come knocking a...

Debilyn · Debilyn

My one ONE neighbor is a nutcase, insane, not using addict. great huh? He called animal control two times on my dogs barking. Most of you know how much I love my dogs and they are very well trained, be it still idiots at times! They do not bark. On a sunday I was out playing with them for about twenty min. Thro...

cat4554 · cat4554

Where & How do I post a photo to my username ?

bettyboop · bettyboop

I haven't been able to get to a meeting this week at all, but I did a lot of reading and doing my best to apply what I've leraned in my every day life! This week was VERY hard. I got that ever dreaded call at 2 am! My daughter had been in a massive wreck. she hit a cement barrier at 70 mph. I rushed to the hospital an...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Love is definitely in the air! At least in my neck of the woods. The weather is perfect & people are alive & well! I feel like this is really God's country--so yeah, other places are beautiful but No. ID is tops! I love when I wake up & see the mountains from my porch! At night deer appear right o...

mjhyankees · mjhyankees

This I struggle with alot. Feeling powerless is actually easy to acknowledge...i've felt it my whole life (well most of the time anyway). But I also feel helpless and hopeless at the same time. So much in my life is currently out of my control, what's in my control doesn't feel powerful enough to cha...

Oksie · Oksie

I am back from my three week overseas trip. We had a good time. It had its ups and downs. I get very stressed in new places, with new things etc and I'm afraid my default emotion of anger was running the show a fair bit. But I noted it and talked to myself. We found Bali fun as per usual. My husband is a bit of...

Katy · Katy

Yep I used it today in my work place, I am a cook in a residential home and the residents are like my family, I asked my hubbie if he could come in with me this morning and sharpen my knives, he is a time served engineer with his own buisiness, anyways I asked my manager if that was ok, well actually I said is it o...

Overcome · Overcome

Progress Not Perfection. I've been in the program a few 24 hours and not a truer statement has ever been said. Sometimes I feel as though I just started this journey of self-discovery, and other times I feel as though I've been on it my whole life. To those new in the al-anon program you may not have heard t...

Peachy219 · Peachy219

I am happy today. And not because I had a great day, in fact it was pretty complicated. I was supposed to fly home today. I've been crashing at my brothers since leaving my ABF and I was supposed to fly out of the country back to my parents home. Well the thing is I have two dogs and I'm taking them with me. I tho...

Tigger · Tigger

I am writing because I am feeling upset because my partner is so withholding sometimes. To punish me for expessing any need or want in the relationship. The rules are that if I feel anything or ask for anything at all that makes my partner feel uncomfortable or is a clash of meeds then I am seen as being in t...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, in many conversations/discussions/arguments with AH I felt I always had to prove that I was right (which I usually was, LOL) and it was so darn draining going back and forth with him over something that I knew I could prove if he would just let it be. I would get flustered, frustrated, angry, and jus...

Pushka · Pushka

Something that this program has taught me (although I cuss a lot about this lesson learned .. lol) .. is sometimes just because I have a thought doesn't mean I need to say it. (I'm so not going to lie it would feell SOOOOO GOOD to say those things too, more than 5 min that's all I'm going to say .. LOL!) All I ca...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I've been working through some feelings over the last few weeks due to a decision I made. At a time when so many people are without any work, I finally was hired where I have been working temporarily over the last half year. The pay isn't great and I'm overqualified for the job but I have an incredible bo...

shimo · shimo

I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. My brother-in-law is having risky surgery in the morning and I will be supporting my sister-in-law at the hospital. Hopefully, someone will step up and chair the meeting on my behalf. Thanks Jeri aka Shimo

silent · silent

he didnt cheat on me i dont beleive to get this desease ,he got it while were were broke up for almost a year he had hooked up with a girl that like to drink hard liquar,and was with her for 2 or 3 mths,then i came and soon as he saw me me like he said he knew it was over between him and her,for he had gotten to the poi...

LeenieBeanie · LeenieBeanie

I just got home from my first Al Anon Workshop. What incredible shares and speakers we had ! And isn't this always the way......one of the topics I wanted to sit in on was filled and I had to sit in on another. As always, knew the hand of my HP was at work when one of the speakers started speaking on somehing...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have a headache today which means that I need more sleep. My clinician is working on another type of med. for me. Actually it was one I was taking before that got mixed up! I am not very good w/ less sleep--I need a solution! For those who don't know me--I have really bad insomnia. I have struggled w/ it for...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

My estranged AH is back home after a work trip. I, of course, am out of the house and have been doing really well focusing on my own life and staying detached. I'm finding myself obsessing again. The man did horrible things to me; I don't want him back. I don't want to call him or see him. I'm not even upse...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hi all....having a rough week. Praying for some clarity and serenity into what I should do about my ex ABF who is still part of my life and still an active drinker. I have been praying for some kind of answer to come over me and I am pretty sure I do not want him to be part of my life anymore. This devistates me i...

AsphyxiateOnMisery · AsphyxiateOnMisery

Well I've been coming to meetings for the past couple of weeks now and the thing I find hardest to understand is how to connect with a higher power being agnostic. I know it's not a religious program and I know that my higher power can be a bookcase if I want it to be, but I find it kind of hard to do the 12 steps i...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Feeling stupid & sheepish - and then there's Vegas! (Preview) Well, it's been awhile since I was last on this board. Things had been really really good with my AH for about 3 months. It has been quite awhile since my first (and only) Alanon meeting too... but I had to go back last night to one, and here I am on this board again. So - back in January I went to his psychologi...	ladysoblue	19	2925	Apr 27, 2012 by ladysoblue
	withdraws (Preview) ive watched my a/d b/f ex now go through some looked like death withdraws time and time over chills/skin on fire diareha throwing up high fever of 106 i know on one of his withdraws,and you know its like im going through the withdraws just like him in trying to get him out of my life and systom.i feel like th...	silent	4	342	Apr 27, 2012 by pinkchip
	hurting and crying at the same time he never had or has my facebook password he is just a freind on my facebook. (Preview) my a/d b/f just put his facebook statis from being in a relationship with me to being single soo i went back and changed mine back to being single too,my eyes just started tearing up when i went into my face book and saw that he had done that ,wow why should it even bother me in the least bit and y didnt i alread...	silent	7	591	Apr 27, 2012 by pinkchip
	Dealing with anger (Preview) What do I do with all the anger? Change expectations...done. Detach with love...done. Be philosophical...done. See the opportunity for growth...yup. But all this anger is burning me up (literally hot and sweaty and can't sleep) and I need practical suggestions please! I feel like I'm lyi...	Tigger	17	2312	Apr 27, 2012 by rehprof
	Trusting my HP (Preview) I am working on deciding to turn my will over to my HP. I think I've done it, but want to really meditate on what all that entails. It's really deep when you think about it. My biggest issue is that I feel so vulnerable. My AH is still actively drinking. He isn't coming home until late most nights and insists...	TryingToChange	6	371	Apr 27, 2012 by TryingToChange
	my nerves (Preview) im starting to itch like crazy again now i know why -its my nerves,i had stopped itching yesterday and thought it was all from chiggers or something that maybe my dog was bringing in,but thats not it im starting to itch all over again and its just now starting since he changed his statis to being single ag...	silent	6	489	Apr 27, 2012 by pineapple
	A-brother around again (Preview) A- brother has returned and is tapping everyone for money again. I had voiced concerns some years ago but have been told by family members how he was doing just fine. Some years ago he lived with me for 8 months, never paid a dime for food or rent, really burnt me. I find it hard not to be angry still. Guess I'...	maire rua	4	369	Apr 27, 2012 by maire rua
	going for restraining order (Preview) Hi everyone, Update: My lawyer saw the picture of the television "gift" my ex RA left onmy street and advised that we can and should move quickly onto upgrading the stay away order to a regular restraining order. This is such a frustrating situation, as everything seemed to have run it's c...	rara avis	10	752	Apr 26, 2012 by Mattie
	We're all Al-Anons (Preview) Usedtobe's post reminded me of one of the wonderful speakers we had at the Big Island Bash here last weekend. Dave F., Alcoholic, from Flowermound, Texas was one of our guest speakers, and I was just overjoyed when he said the following. "How many Alcoholics do we have in here?" (A glance ar...	Aloha	10	543	Apr 26, 2012 by Peachy219
	Frustrated & Lost (Preview) Hi everyone and thank you all for the wisdom and insights that you have provided me during the short time I have been viewing this website, in desperate search for answers. Im incredibly new to Al-Anon but am somewhat familiar to the 12-Step fellowship since Im in the mental health field. A part of me fe...	GatorGirl82	8	546	Apr 26, 2012 by Peachy219
	saying "NO" gets easier!! (Preview) This wk. I said "no" to both my qualifiers asking for money, saying they needed it for food and gas for car, both sounding very serious and needy. In the past I would have felt badly for them and given in. I feel so good because they both excepted it and hasn't called continuing to ask. I than...	Highlyfavored	7	493	Apr 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	silent starting to look up (Preview) its 5:21am my time been up since 1:30am went to bed at 10pm oh well been very bust this early moring i managed to put one foot in front of the other and get in the shower which was much needed and read my scriptures and lotion my feet and legs and watched a gr8t movie on tv thart was very inpireing and did alot of...	silent	4	439	Apr 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Is an Alanon home group a necessity in my own recovery? (Preview) So, basically I used to attend in my 20's and at that time I was able to have a home group. I just started going again as a 35 yr old realizing I need this program and that it's not like riding a bike again. It's more like I didn't ride long enough or I fell off so to speak. So I was at my 2nd group recently and du...	Anniepie1976	8	626	Apr 26, 2012 by canadianguy
	AH just came home wasted (Preview) My AH just came home wasted after playing golf all day. Normally, there would have been a big blow out, but I'm keeping my cool and being genuinely polite. I think my new calm and resolve to avoid conflict is starting to unnerve him. I think he thinks I'm up to something. Lol. It's kind of funny in a way. I j...	TryingToChange	10	442	Apr 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) For years people have suggested to me to go to Al-Anon meetings and I finally did because a co worker suggested it as well. Plus its not far from where I live. But I told her that I am still trying to figure it out. She suggested i go to at least 6 meetings . I will try it, but what exactly am I suppose to get out o...	Kim101	4	499	Apr 26, 2012 by Kim101
	Checking In (Preview) Just checking in with you. been busy at work. hope everyone is doing ok and those that aren't, just remember that whatever it is, it too will pass.	Wolfie55	4	264	Apr 26, 2012 by Jackie11
	amends (Preview) Been reading this morning after feeling guilty over break up with my ex af. Wow Hp has brought me lots of insight into how my disease trying to fix has affected me, ex bf, my kids, parents,family friends, work mates even the dog. I love my ex but I need to be alone with my hp to do my work. My e is very sick at mo...	Tracy	2	285	Apr 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Is this controlling? (Preview) My 7 yr. old granddaughter called me, she went back to her dad's on the 14th. after spring break. I spoke to her since then, but when she called me Fri. I asked her if she had talked to her mom since she went back to her dad's she said no her mom's wasn't answering her phone. I realized then her mom's phone is...	Highlyfavored	4	673	Apr 26, 2012 by Oksie
	8 weeks to the day.... (Preview) ...he called me. That was yesterday...and tho his voice in some odd way was music to my ears...it didn't affect me like I thought it would. See, I've been really working on a relationship with my HP and He has just been so good to me through all of this. He has been answering my prayers left and right. It wou...	thechee	6	468	Apr 26, 2012 by Michelle814
	So glad to have found this forum (Preview) I'm very glad to find this forum. I've already found an al-anon meeting in my area and made plans to attend. What I really need is for my husband to come with me. My 30 year old stepson has been an alcoholic since about age 13. His mom never wanted anything bad to happen to her baby, so she always shielded him...	Greensleeves	5	406	Apr 26, 2012 by Michelle814
	Easy Does It Easy does it divorce (Preview) I had a bit of a slip tonight before going to my meeting. This divorce stuff really sucks! I know that I need to move on, but why do I still feel the need to keep checking on my AH, even a year after moving out and now that we have started our divorce proceedings? I'm so glad I shared my slip with my home group. Th...	Green Eyes	5	6089	Apr 25, 2012 by Green Eyes
	May I vent a little? (Preview) I made a mistake. Hurt my bad leg, Got badly cut up on my calve. I am taking care of it with betadine etc. Shoulda went to er but it's too far away.Besides I have been vetting a long time. Anyway of course I don't feel the best. Still doing what I need to though. I know it's the same old thing but geez this is how l...	Debilyn	3	496	Apr 25, 2012 by GailMichelle
	feeling somewhat better (Preview) he hasnt tried to contact me anymore thank gosh,not just becouse im in treatment in getting rid of this std he gave me but we arent any good for each other at all ,he is about drugs hard rocknroll tattooes and alcohol,vodka and sex of course,im to the oppisite,church,prayer treatment liveing a good cle...	silent	2	330	Apr 25, 2012 by Peachy219
	Feeling Guilty (Preview) Quick Update. After kicking my son out of the house, he got into trouble with his PO and is in jail, he has some other charges that he will have to face as we had to call the police on him for stealing. I just mailed a letter explaining I will no longer be in his life if he is going to continue to act like he has b...	debbiems	4	267	Apr 25, 2012 by debbiems
	Using the assets of this program + (Preview) Aloha MIP Ohana (MIP Family)...last time I started this there was a power outage so I didn't have enough or Higher Power to complete it...LOL (and we pay the highest per KWH in the entire world...Go figure) anyhow I had to go for my Al-Anon tools and elder sponsors lessons this morning because I had to d...	Jerry F	8	498	Apr 25, 2012 by Katy
	1st timer here... Need help learning to follow through on consequences relapse boundaries consequence alcoholic limits (Preview) I haven't reached out further than my closest friend for help. I bought a book on codependency and I sort of half way relate to it. I am not sure where really to start here... So I'll try to spit this out.... I believe I am a codependent, living with an alcoholic who has admitted the problem, been to AA meeti...	littlehawk	7	7549	Apr 25, 2012 by Debilyn
	some stuff is not just stuff! (Preview) I went on a sentimental journey this morning--opened up a box of my dad's belongings today. None of it was just "stuff" it all had meaning & some really awesome memories. I am so proud of him for his service to the U.S. government for over 35 years--I got his plaque which I have now that I am...	Hoot Nanny	3	513	Apr 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Here come the favors....what to do? (Preview) So, AH just told me that he's losing his license for the month of May. He asked me to give him a ride to the airport next week. He told me he could take the shuttle but, of course, threw out the fact that it would cost $120 for both directions. We don't live near public transportation of any kind so can't fo...	ilovedogs	11	531	Apr 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	PLEASE help me understand my husband (Preview) I have been with my husband 10 years, through everything.He went through treatment and came home and it was so great. The problem was he was never home, then i found out that he had been spending a lot of time with only females going to meetings and coffee. he was lying to me. Now we are trying to fix somethi...	lmsfnc	7	692	Apr 25, 2012 by lmsfnc
	Working on Minding My Own Business (Preview) So after yet another confrontation about drinking last week, my AH made yet another declaration that he is going to "wean off alcohol and quit." I have said nothing to him about the subject, other than to say I support him, and that I know quitting must be very, very hard. Not surprisingly,...	stephaniej	8	801	Apr 25, 2012 by TryingToChange
	Leading a Face to Face Meeting for the first time (Preview) Next week on the 30th I signed up to lead a F2F meeting... I've never done this but it's very well laid out and scripted and I conduct training meetings for work all the time so I think I'll be ok. This is different because it's personal and there are a lot of long timers in the meeting. It is ACA specific wh...	amills4294	6	908	Apr 25, 2012 by Aloha
	Help Me to understand my husband (Preview) My husband of 31 years is a High Functioning Alcoholic. 11 years ago, his drinking was starting to get REALLY out of control. Before that, I always said my husband was a Jekyll / Hyde. Never fully accepting that even one glass of wine could alter his personality. Over 2.5 years ago it was so bad,...	cat4554	7	3430	Apr 24, 2012 by cat4554
	Pain being a great motivator (Preview) I've been thinking about this a lot lately and someone shared something at the meeting today and what they said really hit me .. "Pain is touchstone of spiritual and emotional growth." Pain has hurled me forward and down the rabbit hole of growth even when I was kicking, screaming and clin...	Pushka	5	428	Apr 24, 2012 by Peachy219
	My Story (Preview) I know this is a crazy long post, but I feel the need to share this part of my journey with you all. I feel like if I dont share this, it will lose some of the magic it has brought to my life. And I want to hold on to this forever. I dont know any of you, but in the few days that Ive been coming here and reading your wor...	Peachy219	9	509	Apr 24, 2012 by Peachy219
	Creating balance within fear (Preview) Hi everybody, I am curious about ESH on creating balance within fear which may or may not be legitimatly based. My ex RA has become a master at skulking the borders of the stay away order. He has broken it once, obviously. Other times, I can't prove but have definitly seen him nearby. He seems to have m...	rara avis	8	516	Apr 24, 2012 by Pushka
	he finally texted me and said i love (Preview) he wanted to know what i was doing i told him i was in a online meeting he said to callhim when i got a chance,i didnt call him i just went on to bed ,havent heard another word out of him since his text last nite,my freind helped me gather all the rest of his stuff up and bag it,whew it was alot more than ithought i...	silent	8	630	Apr 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	setting limits (Preview) After Christmas I didn't have enough work to sustain me so I asked the retail store I work at on the weekend for extra hours. They didn't give me any (well one doesn't count for much) and I was pretty upset. They had a new hire from Christmas they heaped the hours on. She got a ton of overtime too. After Ch...	orchidlover	5	496	Apr 24, 2012 by orchidlover
	AH Hiding Beer Again (Preview) It's been 3 weeks since AH said he wouldn't drink, it turns out he is back to just drinking when I go to sleep and hiding the evidence. I found some beer bottles while putting something away in a cabinet that I don't use everyday, but have used within the last couple weeks. He's at work now and I am trying...	DogMom	7	644	Apr 24, 2012 by DogMom
	I fell off the EMOTIONAL wagon. Everything feels upside down (Preview) Hello Everyone, I know the last post I wrote I was sounding a lot stronger and happier about being done with my drug-addicted ex boyfriend. He recently got out of jail on the 13th and contacted me right away. Mind you, he moved back in with the mother of his child and has been using her phone to contact me....	Julie3310	5	511	Apr 24, 2012 by Jackie11
	day 3 and obsessing (Preview) i go to bed with him on my mind and wake up with him on my mind,omg whats wroong with me my freind is i know getting sick and tired of me talking about him she says im obsessing over him that im obsessed about him,its driveing my mind crazy ,all i can do is think about him,now im scared he is gonna come knocking a...	silent	5	546	Apr 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	gads they are all over the place.... (Preview) My one ONE neighbor is a nutcase, insane, not using addict. great huh? He called animal control two times on my dogs barking. Most of you know how much I love my dogs and they are very well trained, be it still idiots at times! They do not bark. On a sunday I was out playing with them for about twenty min. Thro...	Debilyn	8	634	Apr 24, 2012 by tiredtonite
	Where & how do I post my photo to my username ? (Preview) Where & How do I post a photo to my username ?	cat4554	3	274	Apr 24, 2012 by hotrod
	My UPDATE thread!! (Preview) I haven't been able to get to a meeting this week at all, but I did a lot of reading and doing my best to apply what I've leraned in my every day life! This week was VERY hard. I got that ever dreaded call at 2 am! My daughter had been in a massive wreck. she hit a cement barrier at 70 mph. I rushed to the hospital an...	bettyboop	6	368	Apr 24, 2012 by bettyboop
	love is in the air! (Preview) Love is definitely in the air! At least in my neck of the woods. The weather is perfect & people are alive & well! I feel like this is really God's country--so yeah, other places are beautiful but No. ID is tops! I love when I wake up & see the mountains from my porch! At night deer appear right o...	Hoot Nanny	4	581	Apr 24, 2012 by Breakingfree
	How to not feel helpless and hopeless when I'm powerless. (Preview) This I struggle with alot. Feeling powerless is actually easy to acknowledge...i've felt it my whole life (well most of the time anyway). But I also feel helpless and hopeless at the same time. So much in my life is currently out of my control, what's in my control doesn't feel powerful enough to cha...	mjhyankees	8	3161	Apr 24, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	back from holiday (Preview) I am back from my three week overseas trip. We had a good time. It had its ups and downs. I get very stressed in new places, with new things etc and I'm afraid my default emotion of anger was running the show a fair bit. But I noted it and talked to myself. We found Bali fun as per usual. My husband is a bit of...	Oksie	10	537	Apr 24, 2012 by pineapple
	using alanon in all my affairs! (Preview) Yep I used it today in my work place, I am a cook in a residential home and the residents are like my family, I asked my hubbie if he could come in with me this morning and sharpen my knives, he is a time served engineer with his own buisiness, anyways I asked my manager if that was ok, well actually I said is it o...	Katy	8	569	Apr 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	Progress not Perfection (Preview) Progress Not Perfection. I've been in the program a few 24 hours and not a truer statement has ever been said. Sometimes I feel as though I just started this journey of self-discovery, and other times I feel as though I've been on it my whole life. To those new in the al-anon program you may not have heard t...	Overcome	5	1265	Apr 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	I'm happy today (Preview) I am happy today. And not because I had a great day, in fact it was pretty complicated. I was supposed to fly home today. I've been crashing at my brothers since leaving my ABF and I was supposed to fly out of the country back to my parents home. Well the thing is I have two dogs and I'm taking them with me. I tho...	Peachy219	7	498	Apr 23, 2012 by orchidlover
	Unavailable partner (Preview) I am writing because I am feeling upset because my partner is so withholding sometimes. To punish me for expessing any need or want in the relationship. The rules are that if I feel anything or ask for anything at all that makes my partner feel uncomfortable or is a clash of meeds then I am seen as being in t...	Tigger	8	538	Apr 23, 2012 by Tigger
	I did it! I didn't have to be right! (Preview) So, in many conversations/discussions/arguments with AH I felt I always had to prove that I was right (which I usually was, LOL) and it was so darn draining going back and forth with him over something that I knew I could prove if he would just let it be. I would get flustered, frustrated, angry, and jus...	ilovedogs	7	532	Apr 23, 2012 by stephaniej
	Saying nothing at all (Preview) Something that this program has taught me (although I cuss a lot about this lesson learned .. lol) .. is sometimes just because I have a thought doesn't mean I need to say it. (I'm so not going to lie it would feell SOOOOO GOOD to say those things too, more than 5 min that's all I'm going to say .. LOL!) All I ca...	Pushka	9	518	Apr 23, 2012 by whitedove
	Serenity is priceless (Preview) I've been working through some feelings over the last few weeks due to a decision I made. At a time when so many people are without any work, I finally was hired where I have been working temporarily over the last half year. The pay isn't great and I'm overqualified for the job but I have an incredible bo...	tiredtonite	5	438	Apr 23, 2012 by tiredtonite
	MONDAY A.M. AL-ANON MEETING (Preview) I am unable to honor my commitment to chair the Monday a.m. Al-Anon meeting. My brother-in-law is having risky surgery in the morning and I will be supporting my sister-in-law at the hospital. Hopefully, someone will step up and chair the meeting on my behalf. Thanks Jeri aka Shimo	shimo	0	225	Apr 22, 2012 by shimo
	i love all your esh and im still needing it,1st day i havent heard from him (Preview) he didnt cheat on me i dont beleive to get this desease ,he got it while were were broke up for almost a year he had hooked up with a girl that like to drink hard liquar,and was with her for 2 or 3 mths,then i came and soon as he saw me me like he said he knew it was over between him and her,for he had gotten to the poi...	silent	3	497	Apr 23, 2012 by Peachy219
	Choice & Acceptance (Preview) I just got home from my first Al Anon Workshop. What incredible shares and speakers we had ! And isn't this always the way......one of the topics I wanted to sit in on was filled and I had to sit in on another. As always, knew the hand of my HP was at work when one of the speakers started speaking on somehing...	LeenieBeanie	5	442	Apr 23, 2012 by mjhyankees
	well...it is happening again! (Preview) I have a headache today which means that I need more sleep. My clinician is working on another type of med. for me. Actually it was one I was taking before that got mixed up! I am not very good w/ less sleep--I need a solution! For those who don't know me--I have really bad insomnia. I have struggled w/ it for...	Hoot Nanny	4	381	Apr 22, 2012 by Peachy219
	AH back in town, here I go obsessing again (Preview) My estranged AH is back home after a work trip. I, of course, am out of the house and have been doing really well focusing on my own life and staying detached. I'm finding myself obsessing again. The man did horrible things to me; I don't want him back. I don't want to call him or see him. I'm not even upse...	Dolly Llama	5	602	Apr 22, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	Serenity and Clarity (Preview) Hi all....having a rough week. Praying for some clarity and serenity into what I should do about my ex ABF who is still part of my life and still an active drinker. I have been praying for some kind of answer to come over me and I am pretty sure I do not want him to be part of my life anymore. This devistates me i...	Corgi2	7	463	Apr 22, 2012 by Pushka
	Question about the steps. (Preview) Well I've been coming to meetings for the past couple of weeks now and the thing I find hardest to understand is how to connect with a higher power being agnostic. I know it's not a religious program and I know that my higher power can be a bookcase if I want it to be, but I find it kind of hard to do the 12 steps i...	AsphyxiateOnMisery	9	575	Apr 22, 2012 by Peachy219
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.