Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

callmemara · callmemara

Other times he goes in cycles where he "realizes" how wrong he is to drink like he does, and talks about how he's going to change. And I believe that he means it when he says it, but I know the cycle. I know that it's only a matter of time, usually days, sometimes a week, before he's at it again. How...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I know there are "double winners" on this site, but in responding to other people and their threads, I keep feeling different for several reasons. Mostly, I think it's because I was just as big a drunk as my qualifier and then actually worse towards the end. My reaction to his drinking and...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I thought maybe I'd share a bit about myself, my history with alcohol, and how I got where I am today. Some of you may be able to relate while some may see nothing in common with me at all, but either way I felt it was cathartic for me to put it all down! I grew up in a family where drinking was pretty moderate,...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I've gone to a number of AA meetings with my husband, who has been in recovery for the past 11 months. I noticed a significant difference between most members of AA and those who attend Al-Anon meetings. Many AA members, who have had some recovery time, joke about their past behaviors due to alcohol. H...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I've found lately that I'm really becoming more and more comfortable with the concept of alcoholism as a disease. Not that I have ever really had a problem with this idea, but it's just that lately I've been able to really embrace this concept and allow it to help me find the sympathy and understanding t...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48923608/step-12-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 28th of April 2012 08:20:22 AM

alexmaui · alexmaui

I keep writing this and then erasing it because I don't want to say what I'm seeing in my AH....After a month of sobriety and some sweet time together...he is floating away on a river of drugs and vodka, again. I moved out of our home 2 years ago- with a boundary of not seeing him when he is drinking. But wow c...

silent · silent

my instant message my a/d b/f boss and told him that i had all the rest of his clothes packed up and put in bags for him to get,in a nice kind way and his boss repied back with that to p[ut them outside on the porch and he would come and get them and he had to also add that me and my a/d bf did not ned to contact each ot...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

My AH was sober for 75 days after 2 years of binge drinking on days off. Not that great, but the best two and a half months of our marriage. He got drunk just over a week ago, and of course I was sick and hurt about it, but I figured one time in that long wasn't a big deal. Today, I worked and came home to him drunk a...

julesredgirl · julesredgirl

So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment. My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cu...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all...I'm facing a situation this weekend, and I'm trying to decide how to handle it (and examine my motives as I choose the best course of action). My AH is in a bowling league at work. Usually bowling is after work on Wednesdays. Since he works second shift, this means bowling goes from 11 pm to 1 am...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

A couple of gentle tests this week. My in laws emailed. They are in the area for a work thing (they live on the East Coast, I am on the West Coast) and said they picked up a suitcase from my AH that I had borrowed and found a piece of jewelry in it...wanted to know if it was mine, where to send it, etc. The old me...

julesredgirl · julesredgirl

So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment. My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cu...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH has been smoking a pipe lately, usually every morning while he's drinking coffee. He works from home and his office right now reeks of tobacco. I can't stand to walk down that hallway, and his office is right across the hall from my son's room. Anyway, he threw out his stinky pipe cleaners in the...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

My whole family knows about my AH, but I don't keep them updated on each "incident." Now that my AH has messed up a few times again, I don't want to say anything because I'm hoping he'll get back up on his feet. At the same time, I don't want to lie to my family and close friends by saying that ever...

missingit · missingit

7 months ago i started dating someone who was 5 years sober, or so I thought. We went away for new years eve and he had a few drinks and said it was ok to have a few every now and then. Well 4 months later he went to rehab because he didnt want to end up "out of control". Since rehab he has been ve...

pineapple · pineapple

It's been over a week since my A has had a drink. Not by choice. He lost his wallet last week with his ATM card in it. This is the third time in a year and a half. He's twice asked me for money and I've refused to give him any. The past few days he's beginning to look better. He was barely eating for months but he se...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just realized after doing some reading of our own that the "Forum" magazine...the Al-Anon Family Groups monthly is a huge asset for increased understanding. If you don't already subscribe or get it from other sources your meeting may have a meeting subscription you can take home and r...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My dad worked for 33 year & 3 months at the same shipyard-I thought it was 35 years--no big deal--he still has credit where credit is due. He had to retire early due to base closures. I am still so proud of him for his service. His memory lives on. By the way, I gave him Papa Berenstain bear years ago &...

silent · silent

and i cant seem to get him out of my head ,i just want to hit my head as hard as i can against a tree,but ouch that would really hurt so i think ill just come here and babble on to all of you,greiveing process is horrible ,ive got to be greiveing or i wouldnt be obsessing over him,listing his his bad traits ,,her...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm very grateful to be in the position where I can go for free counseling through my AH's work. I get a session every 2 weeks. I have been going pretty consistently since December. I'm extremely grateful that again I do have the opportunity. Something that came up in counseling (I see an addiction...

willowtree · willowtree

There is a new person in Alanon who is wanting me to go along with her beliefs. I have learned that alanon is each our own recovery. She has been gossiping about another gentlemen in there too. No 2 people branch off into there own little clique. She seems to want to seperate me and her from the group in...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I re-learned an old trick today. I'm attending a 2-day workshop on suicide intervention, required training for my job. I went into it with the wrong attitude. I worked till midnight last night. I didn't get a lot of sleep. I overslept, missed breakfast. I thought it was going to be boring. I mean how lon...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My son is 13 and he's had a variety of anxiey issues over the years. I pretty much believe many of them are related to how my AH used to blow up at him when he was much younger and I think it's partially inherited from my AH's side of the family(which is filled with a bunch of anxious, angry, depressed indivi...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Oh I so hope someone responds with "did we ask?" haha (that's my sick twisted humor sorry). That thought just popped in my head so I went with it. I'm one of those flighty artsy fartsy people who embraces their ADHD. Interesting that "I'm good" would pop into my head though. Saw...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I'm been out of the house I lived in for 4 years a couple of months now. I lived around active alcholics and addicts in that house and it was an absolute nightmare. Needless to say since I had limits and boundaries they didn't like me at all. I live just down the street from the house I lived in a half a block a...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Well, it's been awhile since I was last on this board. Things had been really really good with my AH for about 3 months. It has been quite awhile since my first (and only) Alanon meeting too... but I had to go back last night to one, and here I am on this board again. So - back in January I went to his psychologi...

silent · silent

ive watched my a/d b/f ex now go through some looked like death withdraws time and time over chills/skin on fire diareha throwing up high fever of 106 i know on one of his withdraws,and you know its like im going through the withdraws just like him in trying to get him out of my life and systom.i feel like th...

silent · silent

my a/d b/f just put his facebook statis from being in a relationship with me to being single soo i went back and changed mine back to being single too,my eyes just started tearing up when i went into my face book and saw that he had done that ,wow why should it even bother me in the least bit and y didnt i alread...

Tigger · Tigger

What do I do with all the anger? Change expectations...done. Detach with love...done. Be philosophical...done. See the opportunity for growth...yup. But all this anger is burning me up (literally hot and sweaty and can't sleep) and I need practical suggestions please! I feel like I'm lyi...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

I am working on deciding to turn my will over to my HP. I think I've done it, but want to really meditate on what all that entails. It's really deep when you think about it. My biggest issue is that I feel so vulnerable. My AH is still actively drinking. He isn't coming home until late most nights and insists...

silent · silent

im starting to itch like crazy again now i know why -its my nerves,i had stopped itching yesterday and thought it was all from chiggers or something that maybe my dog was bringing in,but thats not it im starting to itch all over again and its just now starting since he changed his statis to being single ag...

maire rua · maire rua

A- brother has returned and is tapping everyone for money again. I had voiced concerns some years ago but have been told by family members how he was doing just fine. Some years ago he lived with me for 8 months, never paid a dime for food or rent, really burnt me. I find it hard not to be angry still. Guess I'...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone, Update: My lawyer saw the picture of the television "gift" my ex RA left onmy street and advised that we can and should move quickly onto upgrading the stay away order to a regular restraining order. This is such a frustrating situation, as everything seemed to have run it's c...

Aloha · Aloha

Usedtobe's post reminded me of one of the wonderful speakers we had at the Big Island Bash here last weekend. Dave F., Alcoholic, from Flowermound, Texas was one of our guest speakers, and I was just overjoyed when he said the following. "How many Alcoholics do we have in here?" (A glance ar...

GatorGirl82 · GatorGirl82

Hi everyone and thank you all for the wisdom and insights that you have provided me during the short time I have been viewing this website, in desperate search for answers. Im incredibly new to Al-Anon but am somewhat familiar to the 12-Step fellowship since Im in the mental health field. A part of me fe...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

This wk. I said "no" to both my qualifiers asking for money, saying they needed it for food and gas for car, both sounding very serious and needy. In the past I would have felt badly for them and given in. I feel so good because they both excepted it and hasn't called continuing to ask. I than...

silent · silent

its 5:21am my time been up since 1:30am went to bed at 10pm oh well been very bust this early moring i managed to put one foot in front of the other and get in the shower which was much needed and read my scriptures and lotion my feet and legs and watched a gr8t movie on tv thart was very inpireing and did alot of...

Anniepie1976 · Anniepie1976

So, basically I used to attend in my 20's and at that time I was able to have a home group. I just started going again as a 35 yr old realizing I need this program and that it's not like riding a bike again. It's more like I didn't ride long enough or I fell off so to speak. So I was at my 2nd group recently and du...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

My AH just came home wasted after playing golf all day. Normally, there would have been a big blow out, but I'm keeping my cool and being genuinely polite. I think my new calm and resolve to avoid conflict is starting to unnerve him. I think he thinks I'm up to something. Lol. It's kind of funny in a way. I j...

Kim101 · Kim101

For years people have suggested to me to go to Al-Anon meetings and I finally did because a co worker suggested it as well. Plus its not far from where I live. But I told her that I am still trying to figure it out. She suggested i go to at least 6 meetings . I will try it, but what exactly am I suppose to get out o...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

Just checking in with you. been busy at work. hope everyone is doing ok and those that aren't, just remember that whatever it is, it too will pass.

Tracy · Tracy

Been reading this morning after feeling guilty over break up with my ex af. Wow Hp has brought me lots of insight into how my disease trying to fix has affected me, ex bf, my kids, parents,family friends, work mates even the dog. I love my ex but I need to be alone with my hp to do my work. My e is very sick at mo...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

My 7 yr. old granddaughter called me, she went back to her dad's on the 14th. after spring break. I spoke to her since then, but when she called me Fri. I asked her if she had talked to her mom since she went back to her dad's she said no her mom's wasn't answering her phone. I realized then her mom's phone is...

thechee · thechee

...he called me. That was yesterday...and tho his voice in some odd way was music to my ears...it didn't affect me like I thought it would. See, I've been really working on a relationship with my HP and He has just been so good to me through all of this. He has been answering my prayers left and right. It wou...

Greensleeves · Greensleeves

I'm very glad to find this forum. I've already found an al-anon meeting in my area and made plans to attend. What I really need is for my husband to come with me. My 30 year old stepson has been an alcoholic since about age 13. His mom never wanted anything bad to happen to her baby, so she always shielded him...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

I had a bit of a slip tonight before going to my meeting. This divorce stuff really sucks! I know that I need to move on, but why do I still feel the need to keep checking on my AH, even a year after moving out and now that we have started our divorce proceedings? I'm so glad I shared my slip with my home group. Th...

Debilyn · Debilyn

I made a mistake. Hurt my bad leg, Got badly cut up on my calve. I am taking care of it with betadine etc. Shoulda went to er but it's too far away.Besides I have been vetting a long time. Anyway of course I don't feel the best. Still doing what I need to though. I know it's the same old thing but geez this is how l...

silent · silent

he hasnt tried to contact me anymore thank gosh,not just becouse im in treatment in getting rid of this std he gave me but we arent any good for each other at all ,he is about drugs hard rocknroll tattooes and alcohol,vodka and sex of course,im to the oppisite,church,prayer treatment liveing a good cle...

debbiems · debbiems

Quick Update. After kicking my son out of the house, he got into trouble with his PO and is in jail, he has some other charges that he will have to face as we had to call the police on him for stealing. I just mailed a letter explaining I will no longer be in his life if he is going to continue to act like he has b...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Aloha MIP Ohana (MIP Family)...last time I started this there was a power outage so I didn't have enough or Higher Power to complete it...LOL (and we pay the highest per KWH in the entire world...Go figure) anyhow I had to go for my Al-Anon tools and elder sponsors lessons this morning because I had to d...

littlehawk · littlehawk

I haven't reached out further than my closest friend for help. I bought a book on codependency and I sort of half way relate to it. I am not sure where really to start here... So I'll try to spit this out.... I believe I am a codependent, living with an alcoholic who has admitted the problem, been to AA meeti...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I went on a sentimental journey this morning--opened up a box of my dad's belongings today. None of it was just "stuff" it all had meaning & some really awesome memories. I am so proud of him for his service to the U.S. government for over 35 years--I got his plaque which I have now that I am...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

So, AH just told me that he's losing his license for the month of May. He asked me to give him a ride to the airport next week. He told me he could take the shuttle but, of course, threw out the fact that it would cost $120 for both directions. We don't live near public transportation of any kind so can't fo...

lmsfnc · lmsfnc

I have been with my husband 10 years, through everything.He went through treatment and came home and it was so great. The problem was he was never home, then i found out that he had been spending a lot of time with only females going to meetings and coffee. he was lying to me. Now we are trying to fix somethi...

stephaniej · stephaniej

So after yet another confrontation about drinking last week, my AH made yet another declaration that he is going to "wean off alcohol and quit." I have said nothing to him about the subject, other than to say I support him, and that I know quitting must be very, very hard. Not surprisingly,...

amills4294 · amills4294

Next week on the 30th I signed up to lead a F2F meeting... I've never done this but it's very well laid out and scripted and I conduct training meetings for work all the time so I think I'll be ok. This is different because it's personal and there are a lot of long timers in the meeting. It is ACA specific wh...

cat4554 · cat4554

My husband of 31 years is a High Functioning Alcoholic. 11 years ago, his drinking was starting to get REALLY out of control. Before that, I always said my husband was a Jekyll / Hyde. Never fully accepting that even one glass of wine could alter his personality. Over 2.5 years ago it was so bad,...

Pushka · Pushka

I've been thinking about this a lot lately and someone shared something at the meeting today and what they said really hit me .. "Pain is touchstone of spiritual and emotional growth." Pain has hurled me forward and down the rabbit hole of growth even when I was kicking, screaming and clin...

Peachy219 · Peachy219

I know this is a crazy long post, but I feel the need to share this part of my journey with you all. I feel like if I dont share this, it will lose some of the magic it has brought to my life. And I want to hold on to this forever. I dont know any of you, but in the few days that Ive been coming here and reading your wor...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	How to be supportive when you know the cycle will continue? (Preview) Other times he goes in cycles where he "realizes" how wrong he is to drink like he does, and talks about how he's going to change. And I believe that he means it when he says it, but I know the cycle. I know that it's only a matter of time, usually days, sometimes a week, before he's at it again. How...	callmemara	10	635	Apr 29, 2012 by azlady604
	Double drunk trainwreck (Preview) I know there are "double winners" on this site, but in responding to other people and their threads, I keep feeling different for several reasons. Mostly, I think it's because I was just as big a drunk as my qualifier and then actually worse towards the end. My reaction to his drinking and...	pinkchip	9	685	Apr 29, 2012 by likemyheart
	My story, my past, and alcohol (Preview) I thought maybe I'd share a bit about myself, my history with alcohol, and how I got where I am today. Some of you may be able to relate while some may see nothing in common with me at all, but either way I felt it was cathartic for me to put it all down! I grew up in a family where drinking was pretty moderate,...	ilovedogs	5	535	Apr 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	What I've Observed Many Times (Preview) I've gone to a number of AA meetings with my husband, who has been in recovery for the past 11 months. I noticed a significant difference between most members of AA and those who attend Al-Anon meetings. Many AA members, who have had some recovery time, joke about their past behaviors due to alcohol. H...	GailMichelle	14	889	Apr 29, 2012 by Pushka
	We'd all be alcoholics if we had this disease (Preview) I've found lately that I'm really becoming more and more comfortable with the concept of alcoholism as a disease. Not that I have ever really had a problem with this idea, but it's just that lately I've been able to really embrace this concept and allow it to help me find the sympathy and understanding t...	usedtobeanyer	11	627	Apr 29, 2012 by callmemara
	12th Step (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48923608/step-12-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 28th of April 2012 08:20:22 AM	hotrod	1	359	Apr 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	back on the roller coaster (Preview) I keep writing this and then erasing it because I don't want to say what I'm seeing in my AH....After a month of sobriety and some sweet time together...he is floating away on a river of drugs and vodka, again. I moved out of our home 2 years ago- with a boundary of not seeing him when he is drinking. But wow c...	alexmaui	7	796	Apr 29, 2012 by maryjane
	hurt,and feeling alone (Preview) my instant message my a/d b/f boss and told him that i had all the rest of his clothes packed up and put in bags for him to get,in a nice kind way and his boss repied back with that to p[ut them outside on the porch and he would come and get them and he had to also add that me and my a/d bf did not ned to contact each ot...	silent	3	428	Apr 29, 2012 by maryjane
	SO frustrated, but it feels like a waste of tears. (Preview) My AH was sober for 75 days after 2 years of binge drinking on days off. Not that great, but the best two and a half months of our marriage. He got drunk just over a week ago, and of course I was sick and hurt about it, but I figured one time in that long wasn't a big deal. Today, I worked and came home to him drunk a...	hummingbirdkerry	8	529	Apr 28, 2012 by Michelle814
	how do i react to his drinking?? (Preview) So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment. My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cu...	julesredgirl	4	544	Apr 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Could Use Some ESH For the Upcoming Weekend (Preview) Hi all...I'm facing a situation this weekend, and I'm trying to decide how to handle it (and examine my motives as I choose the best course of action). My AH is in a bowling league at work. Usually bowling is after work on Wednesdays. Since he works second shift, this means bowling goes from 11 pm to 1 am...	stephaniej	7	551	Apr 28, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Progress, yes yes yes (Preview) A couple of gentle tests this week. My in laws emailed. They are in the area for a work thing (they live on the East Coast, I am on the West Coast) and said they picked up a suitcase from my AH that I had borrowed and found a piece of jewelry in it...wanted to know if it was mine, where to send it, etc. The old me...	Dolly Llama	5	539	Apr 28, 2012 by ilovedogs
	how do i react to his drinking?? (Preview) So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment. My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cu...	julesredgirl	2	394	Apr 28, 2012 by callmemara
	I set a boundary, now I feel like the bad guy (Preview) My AH has been smoking a pipe lately, usually every morning while he's drinking coffee. He works from home and his office right now reeks of tobacco. I can't stand to walk down that hallway, and his office is right across the hall from my son's room. Anyway, he threw out his stinky pipe cleaners in the...	ilovedogs	10	732	Apr 28, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Who and when is appropriate to tell about your AH? (Preview) My whole family knows about my AH, but I don't keep them updated on each "incident." Now that my AH has messed up a few times again, I don't want to say anything because I'm hoping he'll get back up on his feet. At the same time, I don't want to lie to my family and close friends by saying that ever...	hummingbirdkerry	7	488	Apr 28, 2012 by Michelle814
	new at this and dont know what to do (Preview) 7 months ago i started dating someone who was 5 years sober, or so I thought. We went away for new years eve and he had a few drinks and said it was ok to have a few every now and then. Well 4 months later he went to rehab because he didnt want to end up "out of control". Since rehab he has been ve...	missingit	16	586	Apr 28, 2012 by missingit
	Can't help being hopeful (Preview) It's been over a week since my A has had a drink. Not by choice. He lost his wallet last week with his ATM card in it. This is the third time in a year and a half. He's twice asked me for money and I've refused to give him any. The past few days he's beginning to look better. He was barely eating for months but he se...	pineapple	6	351	Apr 28, 2012 by alexmaui
	An Al-Anon asset (Preview) Just realized after doing some reading of our own that the "Forum" magazine...the Al-Anon Family Groups monthly is a huge asset for increased understanding. If you don't already subscribe or get it from other sources your meeting may have a meeting subscription you can take home and r...	Jerry F	4	527	Apr 28, 2012 by nmike
	oops I made a mistake not that it really matters! (Preview) My dad worked for 33 year & 3 months at the same shipyard-I thought it was 35 years--no big deal--he still has credit where credit is due. He had to retire early due to base closures. I am still so proud of him for his service. His memory lives on. By the way, I gave him Papa Berenstain bear years ago &...	Hoot Nanny	2	446	Apr 28, 2012 by nmike
	its 2:30am, (Preview) and i cant seem to get him out of my head ,i just want to hit my head as hard as i can against a tree,but ouch that would really hurt so i think ill just come here and babble on to all of you,greiveing process is horrible ,ive got to be greiveing or i wouldnt be obsessing over him,listing his his bad traits ,,her...	silent	7	564	Apr 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Counseling Session .. (Preview) I'm very grateful to be in the position where I can go for free counseling through my AH's work. I get a session every 2 weeks. I have been going pretty consistently since December. I'm extremely grateful that again I do have the opportunity. Something that came up in counseling (I see an addiction...	Pushka	8	594	Apr 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	This is my recovery (Preview) There is a new person in Alanon who is wanting me to go along with her beliefs. I have learned that alanon is each our own recovery. She has been gossiping about another gentlemen in there too. No 2 people branch off into there own little clique. She seems to want to seperate me and her from the group in...	willowtree	3	353	Apr 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	turning it around (Preview) I re-learned an old trick today. I'm attending a 2-day workshop on suicide intervention, required training for my job. I went into it with the wrong attitude. I worked till midnight last night. I didn't get a lot of sleep. I overslept, missed breakfast. I thought it was going to be boring. I mean how lon...	Wolfie55	4	478	Apr 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Off topic; frustrating parenting issue (Preview) My son is 13 and he's had a variety of anxiey issues over the years. I pretty much believe many of them are related to how my AH used to blow up at him when he was much younger and I think it's partially inherited from my AH's side of the family(which is filled with a bunch of anxious, angry, depressed indivi...	ilovedogs	4	459	Apr 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	I'm good (Preview) Oh I so hope someone responds with "did we ask?" haha (that's my sick twisted humor sorry). That thought just popped in my head so I went with it. I'm one of those flighty artsy fartsy people who embraces their ADHD. Interesting that "I'm good" would pop into my head though. Saw...	AStrongerMe	10	448	Apr 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Detaching (Preview) I'm been out of the house I lived in for 4 years a couple of months now. I lived around active alcholics and addicts in that house and it was an absolute nightmare. Needless to say since I had limits and boundaries they didn't like me at all. I live just down the street from the house I lived in a half a block a...	orchidlover	6	580	Apr 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	Feeling stupid & sheepish - and then there's Vegas! (Preview) Well, it's been awhile since I was last on this board. Things had been really really good with my AH for about 3 months. It has been quite awhile since my first (and only) Alanon meeting too... but I had to go back last night to one, and here I am on this board again. So - back in January I went to his psychologi...	ladysoblue	19	3022	Apr 27, 2012 by ladysoblue
	withdraws (Preview) ive watched my a/d b/f ex now go through some looked like death withdraws time and time over chills/skin on fire diareha throwing up high fever of 106 i know on one of his withdraws,and you know its like im going through the withdraws just like him in trying to get him out of my life and systom.i feel like th...	silent	4	358	Apr 27, 2012 by pinkchip
	hurting and crying at the same time he never had or has my facebook password he is just a freind on my facebook. (Preview) my a/d b/f just put his facebook statis from being in a relationship with me to being single soo i went back and changed mine back to being single too,my eyes just started tearing up when i went into my face book and saw that he had done that ,wow why should it even bother me in the least bit and y didnt i alread...	silent	7	614	Apr 27, 2012 by pinkchip
	Dealing with anger (Preview) What do I do with all the anger? Change expectations...done. Detach with love...done. Be philosophical...done. See the opportunity for growth...yup. But all this anger is burning me up (literally hot and sweaty and can't sleep) and I need practical suggestions please! I feel like I'm lyi...	Tigger	17	2350	Apr 27, 2012 by rehprof
	Trusting my HP (Preview) I am working on deciding to turn my will over to my HP. I think I've done it, but want to really meditate on what all that entails. It's really deep when you think about it. My biggest issue is that I feel so vulnerable. My AH is still actively drinking. He isn't coming home until late most nights and insists...	TryingToChange	6	391	Apr 27, 2012 by TryingToChange
	my nerves (Preview) im starting to itch like crazy again now i know why -its my nerves,i had stopped itching yesterday and thought it was all from chiggers or something that maybe my dog was bringing in,but thats not it im starting to itch all over again and its just now starting since he changed his statis to being single ag...	silent	6	505	Apr 27, 2012 by pineapple
	A-brother around again (Preview) A- brother has returned and is tapping everyone for money again. I had voiced concerns some years ago but have been told by family members how he was doing just fine. Some years ago he lived with me for 8 months, never paid a dime for food or rent, really burnt me. I find it hard not to be angry still. Guess I'...	maire rua	4	387	Apr 27, 2012 by maire rua
	going for restraining order (Preview) Hi everyone, Update: My lawyer saw the picture of the television "gift" my ex RA left onmy street and advised that we can and should move quickly onto upgrading the stay away order to a regular restraining order. This is such a frustrating situation, as everything seemed to have run it's c...	rara avis	10	768	Apr 26, 2012 by Mattie
	We're all Al-Anons (Preview) Usedtobe's post reminded me of one of the wonderful speakers we had at the Big Island Bash here last weekend. Dave F., Alcoholic, from Flowermound, Texas was one of our guest speakers, and I was just overjoyed when he said the following. "How many Alcoholics do we have in here?" (A glance ar...	Aloha	10	558	Apr 26, 2012 by Peachy219
	Frustrated & Lost (Preview) Hi everyone and thank you all for the wisdom and insights that you have provided me during the short time I have been viewing this website, in desperate search for answers. Im incredibly new to Al-Anon but am somewhat familiar to the 12-Step fellowship since Im in the mental health field. A part of me fe...	GatorGirl82	8	566	Apr 26, 2012 by Peachy219
	saying "NO" gets easier!! (Preview) This wk. I said "no" to both my qualifiers asking for money, saying they needed it for food and gas for car, both sounding very serious and needy. In the past I would have felt badly for them and given in. I feel so good because they both excepted it and hasn't called continuing to ask. I than...	Highlyfavored	7	509	Apr 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	silent starting to look up (Preview) its 5:21am my time been up since 1:30am went to bed at 10pm oh well been very bust this early moring i managed to put one foot in front of the other and get in the shower which was much needed and read my scriptures and lotion my feet and legs and watched a gr8t movie on tv thart was very inpireing and did alot of...	silent	4	457	Apr 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	Is an Alanon home group a necessity in my own recovery? (Preview) So, basically I used to attend in my 20's and at that time I was able to have a home group. I just started going again as a 35 yr old realizing I need this program and that it's not like riding a bike again. It's more like I didn't ride long enough or I fell off so to speak. So I was at my 2nd group recently and du...	Anniepie1976	8	670	Apr 26, 2012 by canadianguy
	AH just came home wasted (Preview) My AH just came home wasted after playing golf all day. Normally, there would have been a big blow out, but I'm keeping my cool and being genuinely polite. I think my new calm and resolve to avoid conflict is starting to unnerve him. I think he thinks I'm up to something. Lol. It's kind of funny in a way. I j...	TryingToChange	10	462	Apr 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	New to Al-Anon (Preview) For years people have suggested to me to go to Al-Anon meetings and I finally did because a co worker suggested it as well. Plus its not far from where I live. But I told her that I am still trying to figure it out. She suggested i go to at least 6 meetings . I will try it, but what exactly am I suppose to get out o...	Kim101	4	516	Apr 26, 2012 by Kim101
	Checking In (Preview) Just checking in with you. been busy at work. hope everyone is doing ok and those that aren't, just remember that whatever it is, it too will pass.	Wolfie55	4	280	Apr 26, 2012 by Jackie11
	amends (Preview) Been reading this morning after feeling guilty over break up with my ex af. Wow Hp has brought me lots of insight into how my disease trying to fix has affected me, ex bf, my kids, parents,family friends, work mates even the dog. I love my ex but I need to be alone with my hp to do my work. My e is very sick at mo...	Tracy	2	302	Apr 26, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Is this controlling? (Preview) My 7 yr. old granddaughter called me, she went back to her dad's on the 14th. after spring break. I spoke to her since then, but when she called me Fri. I asked her if she had talked to her mom since she went back to her dad's she said no her mom's wasn't answering her phone. I realized then her mom's phone is...	Highlyfavored	4	693	Apr 26, 2012 by Oksie
	8 weeks to the day.... (Preview) ...he called me. That was yesterday...and tho his voice in some odd way was music to my ears...it didn't affect me like I thought it would. See, I've been really working on a relationship with my HP and He has just been so good to me through all of this. He has been answering my prayers left and right. It wou...	thechee	6	488	Apr 26, 2012 by Michelle814
	So glad to have found this forum (Preview) I'm very glad to find this forum. I've already found an al-anon meeting in my area and made plans to attend. What I really need is for my husband to come with me. My 30 year old stepson has been an alcoholic since about age 13. His mom never wanted anything bad to happen to her baby, so she always shielded him...	Greensleeves	5	425	Apr 26, 2012 by Michelle814
	Easy Does It Easy does it divorce (Preview) I had a bit of a slip tonight before going to my meeting. This divorce stuff really sucks! I know that I need to move on, but why do I still feel the need to keep checking on my AH, even a year after moving out and now that we have started our divorce proceedings? I'm so glad I shared my slip with my home group. Th...	Green Eyes	5	6665	Apr 25, 2012 by Green Eyes
	May I vent a little? (Preview) I made a mistake. Hurt my bad leg, Got badly cut up on my calve. I am taking care of it with betadine etc. Shoulda went to er but it's too far away.Besides I have been vetting a long time. Anyway of course I don't feel the best. Still doing what I need to though. I know it's the same old thing but geez this is how l...	Debilyn	3	512	Apr 25, 2012 by GailMichelle
	feeling somewhat better (Preview) he hasnt tried to contact me anymore thank gosh,not just becouse im in treatment in getting rid of this std he gave me but we arent any good for each other at all ,he is about drugs hard rocknroll tattooes and alcohol,vodka and sex of course,im to the oppisite,church,prayer treatment liveing a good cle...	silent	2	345	Apr 25, 2012 by Peachy219
	Feeling Guilty (Preview) Quick Update. After kicking my son out of the house, he got into trouble with his PO and is in jail, he has some other charges that he will have to face as we had to call the police on him for stealing. I just mailed a letter explaining I will no longer be in his life if he is going to continue to act like he has b...	debbiems	4	291	Apr 25, 2012 by debbiems
	Using the assets of this program + (Preview) Aloha MIP Ohana (MIP Family)...last time I started this there was a power outage so I didn't have enough or Higher Power to complete it...LOL (and we pay the highest per KWH in the entire world...Go figure) anyhow I had to go for my Al-Anon tools and elder sponsors lessons this morning because I had to d...	Jerry F	8	520	Apr 25, 2012 by Katy
	1st timer here... Need help learning to follow through on consequences relapse boundaries consequence alcoholic limits (Preview) I haven't reached out further than my closest friend for help. I bought a book on codependency and I sort of half way relate to it. I am not sure where really to start here... So I'll try to spit this out.... I believe I am a codependent, living with an alcoholic who has admitted the problem, been to AA meeti...	littlehawk	7	8285	Apr 25, 2012 by Debilyn
	some stuff is not just stuff! (Preview) I went on a sentimental journey this morning--opened up a box of my dad's belongings today. None of it was just "stuff" it all had meaning & some really awesome memories. I am so proud of him for his service to the U.S. government for over 35 years--I got his plaque which I have now that I am...	Hoot Nanny	3	530	Apr 25, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Here come the favors....what to do? (Preview) So, AH just told me that he's losing his license for the month of May. He asked me to give him a ride to the airport next week. He told me he could take the shuttle but, of course, threw out the fact that it would cost $120 for both directions. We don't live near public transportation of any kind so can't fo...	ilovedogs	11	547	Apr 25, 2012 by Jerry F
	PLEASE help me understand my husband (Preview) I have been with my husband 10 years, through everything.He went through treatment and came home and it was so great. The problem was he was never home, then i found out that he had been spending a lot of time with only females going to meetings and coffee. he was lying to me. Now we are trying to fix somethi...	lmsfnc	7	714	Apr 25, 2012 by lmsfnc
	Working on Minding My Own Business (Preview) So after yet another confrontation about drinking last week, my AH made yet another declaration that he is going to "wean off alcohol and quit." I have said nothing to him about the subject, other than to say I support him, and that I know quitting must be very, very hard. Not surprisingly,...	stephaniej	8	891	Apr 25, 2012 by TryingToChange
	Leading a Face to Face Meeting for the first time (Preview) Next week on the 30th I signed up to lead a F2F meeting... I've never done this but it's very well laid out and scripted and I conduct training meetings for work all the time so I think I'll be ok. This is different because it's personal and there are a lot of long timers in the meeting. It is ACA specific wh...	amills4294	6	930	Apr 25, 2012 by Aloha
	Help Me to understand my husband (Preview) My husband of 31 years is a High Functioning Alcoholic. 11 years ago, his drinking was starting to get REALLY out of control. Before that, I always said my husband was a Jekyll / Hyde. Never fully accepting that even one glass of wine could alter his personality. Over 2.5 years ago it was so bad,...	cat4554	7	3546	Apr 24, 2012 by cat4554
	Pain being a great motivator (Preview) I've been thinking about this a lot lately and someone shared something at the meeting today and what they said really hit me .. "Pain is touchstone of spiritual and emotional growth." Pain has hurled me forward and down the rabbit hole of growth even when I was kicking, screaming and clin...	Pushka	5	444	Apr 24, 2012 by Peachy219
	My Story (Preview) I know this is a crazy long post, but I feel the need to share this part of my journey with you all. I feel like if I dont share this, it will lose some of the magic it has brought to my life. And I want to hold on to this forever. I dont know any of you, but in the few days that Ive been coming here and reading your wor...	Peachy219	9	529	Apr 24, 2012 by Peachy219
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.