Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

Life holds so much--so much to be happy about always. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can be felt only if you don't set conditions. -Artur Rubinstein That last sentence is very very powerful...

Tigger · Tigger

Being heard is incredibly important to me. I hate being misunderstood or disregarded when I try to express myself. I used a different tack today with my partner and feel I made some progress. I have been recognising the things I do that block my chances of being heard and taken seriously. For example my...

Tracey C · Tracey C

Disappointments all round again. When will it all stop? I guess when I choose to put myself first. Tracey

Oksie · Oksie

Hi everyone I have been back for about a week. I haven't been on here as much as I was before I went away. I have spent quite a bit of time here today though. Since coming back from holidays.. I have felt a little tense for some reason. I guess I am waiting for him to go back to using after being 'good' while we...

silent · silent

its now been 9 days no contact with my a/d ex b/f he is still on my face book and we both was just on at the same time i wanted ,oh how i wanted to say something to him or him say something to me or just send me something but no not nothing i posted things and he posted a country song video ,i finally thought it best j...

Temple · Temple

That is a quote from A Course in Miracles. This helps me so much when I'm fuming, frustrated, depressed. Makes me take a step back. Sometimes I am upset with myself for having been lax and letting a situation develop that could have been prevented. Sometimes it is displaced anger--it would be too sc...

amills4294 · amills4294

Boy it was fun and it went well! We have a fairly well structured group so it was fairly easy to do. I picked boundaries as my topic and did some readings from Hope for Today. Lots of great shares. It was nice to feel like I did a good job. It was nice to be in a roomfull of non judgemental people. Right befo...

Oksie · Oksie

One year ago...approximately.. I attended the office of a psychologist in tears, ready to kill myself and not knowing how my life had disintegrated to the point it was at. I thought I had it 'sorted'. Great husband, great life. Then... my husband relapsed into pot use/drug addiction. We were married...

Corgi2 · Corgi2

Hey everyone. Hope you are all doing well. I spent my birthday and whole weekend in bed with a horrible flu and sinus infection that didn't help me too much because I didn't get to any meetings. I really needed them. It just gave me time to sit and think...and my thoughts hurt. I keep going to pick up my phon...

Pushka · Pushka

The train wreck is coming in ways that boggle the mind. I knew he was sick, I get that he's sick .. I just didn't realize how sick until two and two got put together. It's not that I didn't see it or get it .. what I get now is how fast the train is coming. I have the same feeling I had a few months before the DUI....

Nutbrownhare · Nutbrownhare

Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, how did you deal with it? Briefly, I'd been in a long-distance relationship with my partner, decided to move the 200 miles to join him... and then the relationship really started going downhill. Basically I'd walked into a situation with a heavy drinker wi...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. See I know it. I also know how to do it. I have a loving, caring wife who doesn't refrain from giving me suggestions about self care. A couple of weeks ago I blinded myself in my right eye. I wasn't wearing safety glass...

Fina · Fina

Recovery Meditations ~ Unity ~ One Day At A Time ~ April 28, 2012 :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: RECOVERY MEDITATIONS One Day at a Time April 28, 2012 ~ UNITY ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: Separate reeds are weak and easily broken; but bound together they are str...

Debilyn · Debilyn

For over 4 months now my son has not contacted me. We were as always ok and close. Then some dumb thing happened and he got upset as he thought I didn't see how upset he was. I just said no worries I will take care of it. That made him mad as he thought I was putting him down for being upset. It was over something i...

leel · leel

well...I started going to alanon a couple of months ago..real meetings... I found out I was pregnant,and stopped my own social drinking.I found out that my boyfriend cant stop his evening stress relief...drinking until he passes out... And it brought up the memories of my childhood,and the drinki...

callmemara · callmemara

Lately my husband has been an every other day drinker. On the days he doesn't drink, everything is supposed to be "normal" and if I'm "cold" or "standoffish" because I am resentful because i remember everything that happened yesterday not to mention the money he wa...

azlady604 · azlady604

I left my AH 3 years ago after 10+ years of confusion, anger and a broken heart. I knew nothing of alcoholism except that I couldn't be a part of it anymore. I found this message board the first week after moving into my new place and cannot even attempt to come close to expressing the gratitude and warmt...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

Here I'm again feeling like I'm going under, Just earlier this week I was feeling good about saing "no" to my daughter. Well this 45 y.o. women has me feeling guilty and sad. She called this morning asking if I could bring her some food to last until the 1st. she is hungry. I told her they we...

Michelle814 · Michelle814

I am proud of my week. On several occasions when I had some clients who were very upset I sat quietly with them, talked minimally, expressed love through words and gesture, and prayed. Of course, I don't tell them I'm praying since we are not allowed to talk about prayer where I work. But I did pray. I p...

cerika111 · cerika111

Well, I'm back to Alanon - should have stayed in... Famous last words! My aso of 17 years and I had a great group in Houston, but I was transferred to Dallas 3 years ago. We still have many of our friends from the rooms there (AA, NA, AFG), but I am rarely there due to travel. Anyhow my then 17 yo daughter left...

Aloha · Aloha

I had a great experience the other day to see how Al-Anon has helped me to change in so many ways. I was talking with a friend who was going through a nerve-racking experience where he told me he'd been seeing someone and she had called him and told him her period was late. He had a lot of fear going on with tha...

Pushka · Pushka

Say what you mean, mean what you say; don't say it mean, don't expect different behavior. Someone shared this at meeting today and BOY did I like that big time!! Anyway, just wanted to share that and say thanks. Hugs P :)

callmemara · callmemara

Other times he goes in cycles where he "realizes" how wrong he is to drink like he does, and talks about how he's going to change. And I believe that he means it when he says it, but I know the cycle. I know that it's only a matter of time, usually days, sometimes a week, before he's at it again. How...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I know there are "double winners" on this site, but in responding to other people and their threads, I keep feeling different for several reasons. Mostly, I think it's because I was just as big a drunk as my qualifier and then actually worse towards the end. My reaction to his drinking and...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

I thought maybe I'd share a bit about myself, my history with alcohol, and how I got where I am today. Some of you may be able to relate while some may see nothing in common with me at all, but either way I felt it was cathartic for me to put it all down! I grew up in a family where drinking was pretty moderate,...

GailMichelle · GailMichelle

I've gone to a number of AA meetings with my husband, who has been in recovery for the past 11 months. I noticed a significant difference between most members of AA and those who attend Al-Anon meetings. Many AA members, who have had some recovery time, joke about their past behaviors due to alcohol. H...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

I've found lately that I'm really becoming more and more comfortable with the concept of alcoholism as a disease. Not that I have ever really had a problem with this idea, but it's just that lately I've been able to really embrace this concept and allow it to help me find the sympathy and understanding t...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48923608/step-12-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 28th of April 2012 08:20:22 AM

alexmaui · alexmaui

I keep writing this and then erasing it because I don't want to say what I'm seeing in my AH....After a month of sobriety and some sweet time together...he is floating away on a river of drugs and vodka, again. I moved out of our home 2 years ago- with a boundary of not seeing him when he is drinking. But wow c...

silent · silent

my instant message my a/d b/f boss and told him that i had all the rest of his clothes packed up and put in bags for him to get,in a nice kind way and his boss repied back with that to p[ut them outside on the porch and he would come and get them and he had to also add that me and my a/d bf did not ned to contact each ot...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

My AH was sober for 75 days after 2 years of binge drinking on days off. Not that great, but the best two and a half months of our marriage. He got drunk just over a week ago, and of course I was sick and hurt about it, but I figured one time in that long wasn't a big deal. Today, I worked and came home to him drunk a...

julesredgirl · julesredgirl

So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment. My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cu...

stephaniej · stephaniej

Hi all...I'm facing a situation this weekend, and I'm trying to decide how to handle it (and examine my motives as I choose the best course of action). My AH is in a bowling league at work. Usually bowling is after work on Wednesdays. Since he works second shift, this means bowling goes from 11 pm to 1 am...

Dolly Llama · Dolly Llama

A couple of gentle tests this week. My in laws emailed. They are in the area for a work thing (they live on the East Coast, I am on the West Coast) and said they picked up a suitcase from my AH that I had borrowed and found a piece of jewelry in it...wanted to know if it was mine, where to send it, etc. The old me...

julesredgirl · julesredgirl

So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment. My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cu...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My AH has been smoking a pipe lately, usually every morning while he's drinking coffee. He works from home and his office right now reeks of tobacco. I can't stand to walk down that hallway, and his office is right across the hall from my son's room. Anyway, he threw out his stinky pipe cleaners in the...

hummingbirdkerry · hummingbirdkerry

My whole family knows about my AH, but I don't keep them updated on each "incident." Now that my AH has messed up a few times again, I don't want to say anything because I'm hoping he'll get back up on his feet. At the same time, I don't want to lie to my family and close friends by saying that ever...

missingit · missingit

7 months ago i started dating someone who was 5 years sober, or so I thought. We went away for new years eve and he had a few drinks and said it was ok to have a few every now and then. Well 4 months later he went to rehab because he didnt want to end up "out of control". Since rehab he has been ve...

pineapple · pineapple

It's been over a week since my A has had a drink. Not by choice. He lost his wallet last week with his ATM card in it. This is the third time in a year and a half. He's twice asked me for money and I've refused to give him any. The past few days he's beginning to look better. He was barely eating for months but he se...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just realized after doing some reading of our own that the "Forum" magazine...the Al-Anon Family Groups monthly is a huge asset for increased understanding. If you don't already subscribe or get it from other sources your meeting may have a meeting subscription you can take home and r...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

My dad worked for 33 year & 3 months at the same shipyard-I thought it was 35 years--no big deal--he still has credit where credit is due. He had to retire early due to base closures. I am still so proud of him for his service. His memory lives on. By the way, I gave him Papa Berenstain bear years ago &...

silent · silent

and i cant seem to get him out of my head ,i just want to hit my head as hard as i can against a tree,but ouch that would really hurt so i think ill just come here and babble on to all of you,greiveing process is horrible ,ive got to be greiveing or i wouldnt be obsessing over him,listing his his bad traits ,,her...

Pushka · Pushka

I'm very grateful to be in the position where I can go for free counseling through my AH's work. I get a session every 2 weeks. I have been going pretty consistently since December. I'm extremely grateful that again I do have the opportunity. Something that came up in counseling (I see an addiction...

willowtree · willowtree

There is a new person in Alanon who is wanting me to go along with her beliefs. I have learned that alanon is each our own recovery. She has been gossiping about another gentlemen in there too. No 2 people branch off into there own little clique. She seems to want to seperate me and her from the group in...

Wolfie55 · Wolfie55

I re-learned an old trick today. I'm attending a 2-day workshop on suicide intervention, required training for my job. I went into it with the wrong attitude. I worked till midnight last night. I didn't get a lot of sleep. I overslept, missed breakfast. I thought it was going to be boring. I mean how lon...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

My son is 13 and he's had a variety of anxiey issues over the years. I pretty much believe many of them are related to how my AH used to blow up at him when he was much younger and I think it's partially inherited from my AH's side of the family(which is filled with a bunch of anxious, angry, depressed indivi...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

Oh I so hope someone responds with "did we ask?" haha (that's my sick twisted humor sorry). That thought just popped in my head so I went with it. I'm one of those flighty artsy fartsy people who embraces their ADHD. Interesting that "I'm good" would pop into my head though. Saw...

orchidlover · orchidlover

I'm been out of the house I lived in for 4 years a couple of months now. I lived around active alcholics and addicts in that house and it was an absolute nightmare. Needless to say since I had limits and boundaries they didn't like me at all. I live just down the street from the house I lived in a half a block a...

ladysoblue · ladysoblue

Well, it's been awhile since I was last on this board. Things had been really really good with my AH for about 3 months. It has been quite awhile since my first (and only) Alanon meeting too... but I had to go back last night to one, and here I am on this board again. So - back in January I went to his psychologi...

silent · silent

ive watched my a/d b/f ex now go through some looked like death withdraws time and time over chills/skin on fire diareha throwing up high fever of 106 i know on one of his withdraws,and you know its like im going through the withdraws just like him in trying to get him out of my life and systom.i feel like th...

silent · silent

my a/d b/f just put his facebook statis from being in a relationship with me to being single soo i went back and changed mine back to being single too,my eyes just started tearing up when i went into my face book and saw that he had done that ,wow why should it even bother me in the least bit and y didnt i alread...

Tigger · Tigger

What do I do with all the anger? Change expectations...done. Detach with love...done. Be philosophical...done. See the opportunity for growth...yup. But all this anger is burning me up (literally hot and sweaty and can't sleep) and I need practical suggestions please! I feel like I'm lyi...

TryingToChange · TryingToChange

I am working on deciding to turn my will over to my HP. I think I've done it, but want to really meditate on what all that entails. It's really deep when you think about it. My biggest issue is that I feel so vulnerable. My AH is still actively drinking. He isn't coming home until late most nights and insists...

silent · silent

im starting to itch like crazy again now i know why -its my nerves,i had stopped itching yesterday and thought it was all from chiggers or something that maybe my dog was bringing in,but thats not it im starting to itch all over again and its just now starting since he changed his statis to being single ag...

maire rua · maire rua

A- brother has returned and is tapping everyone for money again. I had voiced concerns some years ago but have been told by family members how he was doing just fine. Some years ago he lived with me for 8 months, never paid a dime for food or rent, really burnt me. I find it hard not to be angry still. Guess I'...

rara avis · rara avis

Hi everyone, Update: My lawyer saw the picture of the television "gift" my ex RA left onmy street and advised that we can and should move quickly onto upgrading the stay away order to a regular restraining order. This is such a frustrating situation, as everything seemed to have run it's c...

Aloha · Aloha

Usedtobe's post reminded me of one of the wonderful speakers we had at the Big Island Bash here last weekend. Dave F., Alcoholic, from Flowermound, Texas was one of our guest speakers, and I was just overjoyed when he said the following. "How many Alcoholics do we have in here?" (A glance ar...

GatorGirl82 · GatorGirl82

Hi everyone and thank you all for the wisdom and insights that you have provided me during the short time I have been viewing this website, in desperate search for answers. Im incredibly new to Al-Anon but am somewhat familiar to the 12-Step fellowship since Im in the mental health field. A part of me fe...

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

This wk. I said "no" to both my qualifiers asking for money, saying they needed it for food and gas for car, both sounding very serious and needy. In the past I would have felt badly for them and given in. I feel so good because they both excepted it and hasn't called continuing to ask. I than...

silent · silent

its 5:21am my time been up since 1:30am went to bed at 10pm oh well been very bust this early moring i managed to put one foot in front of the other and get in the shower which was much needed and read my scriptures and lotion my feet and legs and watched a gr8t movie on tv thart was very inpireing and did alot of...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Quote in Today's Reminder, Courage to Change--A good one! (Preview) Life holds so much--so much to be happy about always. Most people ask for happiness on condition. Happiness can be felt only if you don't set conditions. -Artur Rubinstein That last sentence is very very powerful...	usedtobeanyer	7	1241	May 2, 2012 by GailMichelle
	Being heard (Preview) Being heard is incredibly important to me. I hate being misunderstood or disregarded when I try to express myself. I used a different tack today with my partner and feel I made some progress. I have been recognising the things I do that block my chances of being heard and taken seriously. For example my...	Tigger	5	484	May 2, 2012 by Oksie
	Disappointments (Preview) Disappointments all round again. When will it all stop? I guess when I choose to put myself first. Tracey	Tracey C	6	659	May 1, 2012 by Oksie
	thanks (Preview) Hi everyone I have been back for about a week. I haven't been on here as much as I was before I went away. I have spent quite a bit of time here today though. Since coming back from holidays.. I have felt a little tense for some reason. I guess I am waiting for him to go back to using after being 'good' while we...	Oksie	4	362	May 1, 2012 by Oksie
	it soo does hurt in alot of ways (Preview) its now been 9 days no contact with my a/d ex b/f he is still on my face book and we both was just on at the same time i wanted ,oh how i wanted to say something to him or him say something to me or just send me something but no not nothing i posted things and he posted a country song video ,i finally thought it best j...	silent	5	592	May 1, 2012 by Aloha
	I am never upset for the reason I think I am. (Preview) That is a quote from A Course in Miracles. This helps me so much when I'm fuming, frustrated, depressed. Makes me take a step back. Sometimes I am upset with myself for having been lax and letting a situation develop that could have been prevented. Sometimes it is displaced anger--it would be too sc...	Temple	8	603	May 1, 2012 by Catriona
	lead my first F2F meeting.... and.... dealing with unacceptable behavior (Preview) Boy it was fun and it went well! We have a fairly well structured group so it was fairly easy to do. I picked boundaries as my topic and did some readings from Hope for Today. Lots of great shares. It was nice to feel like I did a good job. It was nice to be in a roomfull of non judgemental people. Right befo...	amills4294	4	557	May 1, 2012 by amills4294
	me - one year on (Preview) One year ago...approximately.. I attended the office of a psychologist in tears, ready to kill myself and not knowing how my life had disintegrated to the point it was at. I thought I had it 'sorted'. Great husband, great life. Then... my husband relapsed into pot use/drug addiction. We were married...	Oksie	8	601	May 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Thoughts (Preview) Hey everyone. Hope you are all doing well. I spent my birthday and whole weekend in bed with a horrible flu and sinus infection that didn't help me too much because I didn't get to any meetings. I really needed them. It just gave me time to sit and think...and my thoughts hurt. I keep going to pick up my phon...	Corgi2	6	580	May 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Seeing the Train wreck (Preview) The train wreck is coming in ways that boggle the mind. I knew he was sick, I get that he's sick .. I just didn't realize how sick until two and two got put together. It's not that I didn't see it or get it .. what I get now is how fast the train is coming. I have the same feeling I had a few months before the DUI....	Pushka	9	679	May 1, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Relationship with drinker's over, but I still feel afraid... (Preview) Has anyone else had this problem, and if so, how did you deal with it? Briefly, I'd been in a long-distance relationship with my partner, decided to move the 200 miles to join him... and then the relationship really started going downhill. Basically I'd walked into a situation with a heavy drinker wi...	Nutbrownhare	7	639	May 1, 2012 by Dolly Llama
	The 10th step... (Preview) Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. See I know it. I also know how to do it. I have a loving, caring wife who doesn't refrain from giving me suggestions about self care. A couple of weeks ago I blinded myself in my right eye. I wasn't wearing safety glass...	Jerry F	10	1123	May 1, 2012 by orchidlover
	UNITY (Preview) Recovery Meditations ~ Unity ~ One Day At A Time ~ April 28, 2012 *:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:* RECOVERY MEDITATIONS One Day at a Time April 28, 2012 ~ UNITY ~ *:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:. .:~~:* Separate reeds are weak and easily broken; but bound together they are str...	Fina	2	410	Apr 30, 2012 by Fina
	Someone must relate? (Preview) For over 4 months now my son has not contacted me. We were as always ok and close. Then some dumb thing happened and he got upset as he thought I didn't see how upset he was. I just said no worries I will take care of it. That made him mad as he thought I was putting him down for being upset. It was over something i...	Debilyn	7	603	Apr 30, 2012 by Debilyn
	new to alanon online...need help (Preview) well...I started going to alanon a couple of months ago..real meetings... I found out I was pregnant,and stopped my own social drinking.I found out that my boyfriend cant stop his evening stress relief...drinking until he passes out... And it brought up the memories of my childhood,and the drinki...	leel	9	584	Apr 30, 2012 by leel
	How to tame your resentful feelings (Preview) Lately my husband has been an every other day drinker. On the days he doesn't drink, everything is supposed to be "normal" and if I'm "cold" or "standoffish" because I am resentful because i remember everything that happened yesterday not to mention the money he wa...	callmemara	5	734	Apr 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Finally posting!! New and Excited!!! (Preview) I left my AH 3 years ago after 10+ years of confusion, anger and a broken heart. I knew nothing of alcoholism except that I couldn't be a part of it anymore. I found this message board the first week after moving into my new place and cannot even attempt to come close to expressing the gratitude and warmt...	azlady604	6	838	Apr 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	This is so hard to do!!! I need help/support! (Preview) Here I'm again feeling like I'm going under, Just earlier this week I was feeling good about saing "no" to my daughter. Well this 45 y.o. women has me feeling guilty and sad. She called this morning asking if I could bring her some food to last until the 1st. she is hungry. I told her they we...	Highlyfavored	5	656	Apr 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	FAITH! (Preview) I am proud of my week. On several occasions when I had some clients who were very upset I sat quietly with them, talked minimally, expressed love through words and gesture, and prayed. Of course, I don't tell them I'm praying since we are not allowed to talk about prayer where I work. But I did pray. I p...	Michelle814	5	698	Apr 30, 2012 by Breakingfree
	Back to Alanon - new city - both sig other and daughter (Preview) Well, I'm back to Alanon - should have stayed in... Famous last words! My aso of 17 years and I had a great group in Houston, but I was transferred to Dallas 3 years ago. We still have many of our friends from the rooms there (AA, NA, AFG), but I am rarely there due to travel. Anyhow my then 17 yo daughter left...	cerika111	2	448	Apr 30, 2012 by hotrod
	Al-Anon's helping me learn to be a better friend. (Preview) I had a great experience the other day to see how Al-Anon has helped me to change in so many ways. I was talking with a friend who was going through a nerve-racking experience where he told me he'd been seeing someone and she had called him and told him her period was late. He had a lot of fear going on with tha...	Aloha	5	799	Apr 30, 2012 by hotrod
	Expanded Slogan .. (Preview) Say what you mean, mean what you say; don't say it mean, don't expect different behavior. Someone shared this at meeting today and BOY did I like that big time!! Anyway, just wanted to share that and say thanks. Hugs P :)	Pushka	5	397	Apr 30, 2012 by hotrod
	How to be supportive when you know the cycle will continue? (Preview) Other times he goes in cycles where he "realizes" how wrong he is to drink like he does, and talks about how he's going to change. And I believe that he means it when he says it, but I know the cycle. I know that it's only a matter of time, usually days, sometimes a week, before he's at it again. How...	callmemara	10	711	Apr 29, 2012 by azlady604
	Double drunk trainwreck (Preview) I know there are "double winners" on this site, but in responding to other people and their threads, I keep feeling different for several reasons. Mostly, I think it's because I was just as big a drunk as my qualifier and then actually worse towards the end. My reaction to his drinking and...	pinkchip	9	755	Apr 29, 2012 by likemyheart
	My story, my past, and alcohol (Preview) I thought maybe I'd share a bit about myself, my history with alcohol, and how I got where I am today. Some of you may be able to relate while some may see nothing in common with me at all, but either way I felt it was cathartic for me to put it all down! I grew up in a family where drinking was pretty moderate,...	ilovedogs	5	610	Apr 29, 2012 by pinkchip
	What I've Observed Many Times (Preview) I've gone to a number of AA meetings with my husband, who has been in recovery for the past 11 months. I noticed a significant difference between most members of AA and those who attend Al-Anon meetings. Many AA members, who have had some recovery time, joke about their past behaviors due to alcohol. H...	GailMichelle	14	968	Apr 29, 2012 by Pushka
	We'd all be alcoholics if we had this disease (Preview) I've found lately that I'm really becoming more and more comfortable with the concept of alcoholism as a disease. Not that I have ever really had a problem with this idea, but it's just that lately I've been able to really embrace this concept and allow it to help me find the sympathy and understanding t...	usedtobeanyer	11	702	Apr 29, 2012 by callmemara
	12th Step (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t48923608/step-12-alanon/-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 28th of April 2012 08:20:22 AM	hotrod	1	435	Apr 29, 2012 by Breakingfree
	back on the roller coaster (Preview) I keep writing this and then erasing it because I don't want to say what I'm seeing in my AH....After a month of sobriety and some sweet time together...he is floating away on a river of drugs and vodka, again. I moved out of our home 2 years ago- with a boundary of not seeing him when he is drinking. But wow c...	alexmaui	7	872	Apr 29, 2012 by maryjane
	hurt,and feeling alone (Preview) my instant message my a/d b/f boss and told him that i had all the rest of his clothes packed up and put in bags for him to get,in a nice kind way and his boss repied back with that to p[ut them outside on the porch and he would come and get them and he had to also add that me and my a/d bf did not ned to contact each ot...	silent	3	496	Apr 29, 2012 by maryjane
	SO frustrated, but it feels like a waste of tears. (Preview) My AH was sober for 75 days after 2 years of binge drinking on days off. Not that great, but the best two and a half months of our marriage. He got drunk just over a week ago, and of course I was sick and hurt about it, but I figured one time in that long wasn't a big deal. Today, I worked and came home to him drunk a...	hummingbirdkerry	8	599	Apr 28, 2012 by Michelle814
	how do i react to his drinking?? (Preview) So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment. My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cu...	julesredgirl	4	616	Apr 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Could Use Some ESH For the Upcoming Weekend (Preview) Hi all...I'm facing a situation this weekend, and I'm trying to decide how to handle it (and examine my motives as I choose the best course of action). My AH is in a bowling league at work. Usually bowling is after work on Wednesdays. Since he works second shift, this means bowling goes from 11 pm to 1 am...	stephaniej	7	619	Apr 28, 2012 by Wolfie55
	Progress, yes yes yes (Preview) A couple of gentle tests this week. My in laws emailed. They are in the area for a work thing (they live on the East Coast, I am on the West Coast) and said they picked up a suitcase from my AH that I had borrowed and found a piece of jewelry in it...wanted to know if it was mine, where to send it, etc. The old me...	Dolly Llama	5	603	Apr 28, 2012 by ilovedogs
	how do i react to his drinking?? (Preview) So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment. My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cu...	julesredgirl	2	480	Apr 28, 2012 by callmemara
	I set a boundary, now I feel like the bad guy (Preview) My AH has been smoking a pipe lately, usually every morning while he's drinking coffee. He works from home and his office right now reeks of tobacco. I can't stand to walk down that hallway, and his office is right across the hall from my son's room. Anyway, he threw out his stinky pipe cleaners in the...	ilovedogs	10	802	Apr 28, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Who and when is appropriate to tell about your AH? (Preview) My whole family knows about my AH, but I don't keep them updated on each "incident." Now that my AH has messed up a few times again, I don't want to say anything because I'm hoping he'll get back up on his feet. At the same time, I don't want to lie to my family and close friends by saying that ever...	hummingbirdkerry	7	559	Apr 28, 2012 by Michelle814
	new at this and dont know what to do (Preview) 7 months ago i started dating someone who was 5 years sober, or so I thought. We went away for new years eve and he had a few drinks and said it was ok to have a few every now and then. Well 4 months later he went to rehab because he didnt want to end up "out of control". Since rehab he has been ve...	missingit	16	658	Apr 28, 2012 by missingit
	Can't help being hopeful (Preview) It's been over a week since my A has had a drink. Not by choice. He lost his wallet last week with his ATM card in it. This is the third time in a year and a half. He's twice asked me for money and I've refused to give him any. The past few days he's beginning to look better. He was barely eating for months but he se...	pineapple	6	417	Apr 28, 2012 by alexmaui
	An Al-Anon asset (Preview) Just realized after doing some reading of our own that the "Forum" magazine...the Al-Anon Family Groups monthly is a huge asset for increased understanding. If you don't already subscribe or get it from other sources your meeting may have a meeting subscription you can take home and r...	Jerry F	4	595	Apr 28, 2012 by nmike
	oops I made a mistake not that it really matters! (Preview) My dad worked for 33 year & 3 months at the same shipyard-I thought it was 35 years--no big deal--he still has credit where credit is due. He had to retire early due to base closures. I am still so proud of him for his service. His memory lives on. By the way, I gave him Papa Berenstain bear years ago &...	Hoot Nanny	2	515	Apr 28, 2012 by nmike
	its 2:30am, (Preview) and i cant seem to get him out of my head ,i just want to hit my head as hard as i can against a tree,but ouch that would really hurt so i think ill just come here and babble on to all of you,greiveing process is horrible ,ive got to be greiveing or i wouldnt be obsessing over him,listing his his bad traits ,,her...	silent	7	636	Apr 28, 2012 by Jerry F
	Counseling Session .. (Preview) I'm very grateful to be in the position where I can go for free counseling through my AH's work. I get a session every 2 weeks. I have been going pretty consistently since December. I'm extremely grateful that again I do have the opportunity. Something that came up in counseling (I see an addiction...	Pushka	8	660	Apr 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	This is my recovery (Preview) There is a new person in Alanon who is wanting me to go along with her beliefs. I have learned that alanon is each our own recovery. She has been gossiping about another gentlemen in there too. No 2 people branch off into there own little clique. She seems to want to seperate me and her from the group in...	willowtree	3	420	Apr 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	turning it around (Preview) I re-learned an old trick today. I'm attending a 2-day workshop on suicide intervention, required training for my job. I went into it with the wrong attitude. I worked till midnight last night. I didn't get a lot of sleep. I overslept, missed breakfast. I thought it was going to be boring. I mean how lon...	Wolfie55	4	541	Apr 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Off topic; frustrating parenting issue (Preview) My son is 13 and he's had a variety of anxiey issues over the years. I pretty much believe many of them are related to how my AH used to blow up at him when he was much younger and I think it's partially inherited from my AH's side of the family(which is filled with a bunch of anxious, angry, depressed indivi...	ilovedogs	4	526	Apr 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	I'm good (Preview) Oh I so hope someone responds with "did we ask?" haha (that's my sick twisted humor sorry). That thought just popped in my head so I went with it. I'm one of those flighty artsy fartsy people who embraces their ADHD. Interesting that "I'm good" would pop into my head though. Saw...	AStrongerMe	10	520	Apr 27, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Detaching (Preview) I'm been out of the house I lived in for 4 years a couple of months now. I lived around active alcholics and addicts in that house and it was an absolute nightmare. Needless to say since I had limits and boundaries they didn't like me at all. I live just down the street from the house I lived in a half a block a...	orchidlover	6	650	Apr 27, 2012 by orchidlover
	Feeling stupid & sheepish - and then there's Vegas! (Preview) Well, it's been awhile since I was last on this board. Things had been really really good with my AH for about 3 months. It has been quite awhile since my first (and only) Alanon meeting too... but I had to go back last night to one, and here I am on this board again. So - back in January I went to his psychologi...	ladysoblue	19	3308	Apr 27, 2012 by ladysoblue
	withdraws (Preview) ive watched my a/d b/f ex now go through some looked like death withdraws time and time over chills/skin on fire diareha throwing up high fever of 106 i know on one of his withdraws,and you know its like im going through the withdraws just like him in trying to get him out of my life and systom.i feel like th...	silent	4	427	Apr 27, 2012 by pinkchip
	hurting and crying at the same time he never had or has my facebook password he is just a freind on my facebook. (Preview) my a/d b/f just put his facebook statis from being in a relationship with me to being single soo i went back and changed mine back to being single too,my eyes just started tearing up when i went into my face book and saw that he had done that ,wow why should it even bother me in the least bit and y didnt i alread...	silent	7	688	Apr 27, 2012 by pinkchip
	Dealing with anger (Preview) What do I do with all the anger? Change expectations...done. Detach with love...done. Be philosophical...done. See the opportunity for growth...yup. But all this anger is burning me up (literally hot and sweaty and can't sleep) and I need practical suggestions please! I feel like I'm lyi...	Tigger	17	2445	Apr 27, 2012 by rehprof
	Trusting my HP (Preview) I am working on deciding to turn my will over to my HP. I think I've done it, but want to really meditate on what all that entails. It's really deep when you think about it. My biggest issue is that I feel so vulnerable. My AH is still actively drinking. He isn't coming home until late most nights and insists...	TryingToChange	6	462	Apr 27, 2012 by TryingToChange
	my nerves (Preview) im starting to itch like crazy again now i know why -its my nerves,i had stopped itching yesterday and thought it was all from chiggers or something that maybe my dog was bringing in,but thats not it im starting to itch all over again and its just now starting since he changed his statis to being single ag...	silent	6	575	Apr 27, 2012 by pineapple
	A-brother around again (Preview) A- brother has returned and is tapping everyone for money again. I had voiced concerns some years ago but have been told by family members how he was doing just fine. Some years ago he lived with me for 8 months, never paid a dime for food or rent, really burnt me. I find it hard not to be angry still. Guess I'...	maire rua	4	459	Apr 27, 2012 by maire rua
	going for restraining order (Preview) Hi everyone, Update: My lawyer saw the picture of the television "gift" my ex RA left onmy street and advised that we can and should move quickly onto upgrading the stay away order to a regular restraining order. This is such a frustrating situation, as everything seemed to have run it's c...	rara avis	10	839	Apr 26, 2012 by Mattie
	We're all Al-Anons (Preview) Usedtobe's post reminded me of one of the wonderful speakers we had at the Big Island Bash here last weekend. Dave F., Alcoholic, from Flowermound, Texas was one of our guest speakers, and I was just overjoyed when he said the following. "How many Alcoholics do we have in here?" (A glance ar...	Aloha	10	629	Apr 26, 2012 by Peachy219
	Frustrated & Lost (Preview) Hi everyone and thank you all for the wisdom and insights that you have provided me during the short time I have been viewing this website, in desperate search for answers. Im incredibly new to Al-Anon but am somewhat familiar to the 12-Step fellowship since Im in the mental health field. A part of me fe...	GatorGirl82	8	641	Apr 26, 2012 by Peachy219
	saying "NO" gets easier!! (Preview) This wk. I said "no" to both my qualifiers asking for money, saying they needed it for food and gas for car, both sounding very serious and needy. In the past I would have felt badly for them and given in. I feel so good because they both excepted it and hasn't called continuing to ask. I than...	Highlyfavored	7	577	Apr 26, 2012 by orchidlover
	silent starting to look up (Preview) its 5:21am my time been up since 1:30am went to bed at 10pm oh well been very bust this early moring i managed to put one foot in front of the other and get in the shower which was much needed and read my scriptures and lotion my feet and legs and watched a gr8t movie on tv thart was very inpireing and did alot of...	silent	4	532	Apr 26, 2012 by orchidlover
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.