Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

My husband told me yesterday that he wants to "dry out". He has done this before on his own. From what I have read and learned through my research it is very rare that an alcoholic can quit and never go back to the booze without some form of counseling. However, he will not go at this time. So...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Today, started out with the AH leaving me a message that he was at work so I was welcome to come hang out at the house for a while. I called back to tell him thanks for being so kind as to invite me to my own home and he started in with the victim attitude again. How it was my choice to leave and he has asked me ove...

regp · regp

Where to start? My husband finally decided to go thru a 35 day rehab. After 3 solid years of drinking and trying to stop....he was what you call a functional drunk. He worked and never made it into work late or didnt call in sick (at first). He started with beer every night after work...then graduated to...

Minaret · Minaret

After all these years of dealing with a challenging marriage with AH and two young children, I am just done, done, done. Now the jerk has cheated on me and is still lying through his teeth trying to cover it up. I have good proof this time--I feel like I have to, otherwise he will just lie and manipulate as m...

suebama · suebama

I think I may be getting better. I'm just beginning to have the slightest bit of hope. For so long I've been trying to fight my way out of this darkness, but a sick mind cannot heal a sick mind. Really, this site has helped so much. I've also gotten a sponsor from my f2f meeting and am talking with her.....

glow · glow

My brother has been in inpatient treatment, left AA because of philosophical differences, said he was working on his alcoholism his own way, and recently got fired from his job for his drinking. My parents are providing him money for health insurance and even talking about giving him a place to live...

fallingdown · fallingdown

My A wont respond to me, and I know he's with his friend who influences him to drink the most... I know there's nothing to do I just need someone to talk to....

Highlyfavored · Highlyfavored

This episode started 2-3wks. ago, my 17y.o. grandson told me he was moving 41/2 miles away with his step dad and his 7y.o. sis. For a moment I got involved, expressing my feelings against it, but realized it was none of my business, but I went into the fear mode, a large city, gangs, HS dropout etc. A f...

Rosie77 · Rosie77

Im new to this! Finally had a break down this year. My husband drinks every day 3 or 4 drinks of which I see. His job is as a head brewer for an ale company. He as only had this job for about 6 months. I questioned why he would come home with the smell of alcahol on his breath. He said he has to check the brew in prog...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi all, I went to the liverpool (in England)AA convention yesterday. I love it I have so many friends in al anon and AA , I love it when we all come together. there were not many Al anon members whcih is a shame seems to be same old faces at conventions (so members just like comfort of their groups) There wer...

Hope2000 · Hope2000

I've posted before and I've been to a few F2F meetings. I'm trying to use the tools I'm learning but it seems that things are getting worse vs better. I used to try and control when he drinks and how much. I used to threaten to leave if he came home drinking but I never did, at least not for long. It seemed that...

Jennifer · Jennifer

An acquaintance was telling a story about how other drivers have been trying to race her and her new car constantly and explained how she outmaneuvered this particular driver who tried to pass her. As I was listening I had an experience of actually feeling my uneasy emotional reaction which consiste...

daisy31 · daisy31

Does anyone believe in this stuff? I am curious your thoughts on it. I kind of believe it but it also freaked me out a bit too. The link is below http://thecarolblog.com/energetic-events-emotions/

silent · silent

here i am up at 3am and missing my a and his company we both always got up around this time,i know he is missing it to,here i go agin ,harder this time being without him,but i do know i can do this,it wont be easy but it will be worth it in the long run,i do know that just have to keep thinking of all the negs he put i...

silent · silent

i finally told him he had to move out in a nice tone of voice,he didnt want to go but excepted it and packed his things nicely ,he wants us to still be boyfreind and girlfreind,i said o.k.,we would still talk and go out.soooo i got what i wanted (my space back),along with my peace of mind and serenity back,i...

She-ra · She-ra

Hello - I'm brand new here and I just wanted to say hello :) I've been searching around and I really like a lot of what I have read and I look forward to reading more and learning. I am fairly new to Alanon ( just finished a 90 in 90) I have known of the program for years but never really immersed myself in it lik...

JJ21 · JJ21

I have attended two F2F meetings and in both the people were trying to stay in their marriage or they were parents of alcoholic children. I felt a little out of place since I am no longer in my relationship and looking to move forward. I am hurt that alcohol caused this and I get that I can't change it and f...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

I am sitting here surrounded in bills trying to juggle how to pay them and noticed that the ONE that I asked my husband to pay last month didn't get paid and now we owe for two months. I also realized that he went from making close to six figures to making @$20,000 last year. He had conveniently filed for a...

Oksie · Oksie

Hopefully a brief one. In my mind, I have my wonderful loving husband whom I adore, and his evil twin... the addict.. who comes homes in his place every now and then. Last night, the addict came to visit, but as he hadn't been here for a while, he was on his best behaviour. I came home to a stoned husband. Th...

Kismet · Kismet

The more I listen to people and read stories, the more I wonder if it is possible for alcoholics to recover? I think I know of one happy ending and it scares me. I know that my happiness is my responsibility but I am really worried that rehab doesn't seem to have a very good success rate for the alcoholics.....

Debilyn · Debilyn

You know how we say we can choose how we react to something? I was tortured by the past losses almost every day. A very wise woman showed me some scriptures that said we are to be in the present and look ahead! Wow hmmm. So for awhile now if those creepy past things come into my head I stop it and say I am here now...

Gailey · Gailey

As I have told you before my oldest A son has just celebrated his 1st AA anniversary. I am so grateful for that. He and I attend our meetings on Saturday evenings as much as possible. He goes upstains...I go downstairs I have always known my younger son had a problem. I have even labeled him an A the last co...

Pipper · Pipper

Hi everyone I just decided to join the boards sometime it's hard to get to meetings.my husband of 28 years had 19 years sobriety when he slipped it has been a fast decline I've been in alanon for 1 year and just trying to get my head together I'm having such a hard time of detaching. My fear just keeps my mind...

suebama · suebama

I dreamed last night that my ex AH came to me and told me how much he missed me and begged me back. It was a warm and delicious dream, almost like a romance novel. When I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I almost sank into despair immediately. However, I asked myself if I was going to let a stupid dre...

pineapple · pineapple

I'm feeling a little sentimental tonight. Things are finally looking up for me. My A is planning to go back to the U.S. to live, has a flight booked at the end of the month. This has me on a roller coaster of emotions-happy, sad, hurt, glad. But overall I know it's the best thing for both of us. I'm finally ab...

daisy31 · daisy31

How do you successfully have a relationship with a dysfunctional family (parents/siblings)? I want to have a relationship with them but they seem to want to enmesh with me. I have gotten really healthy from creating time and distance and I have gotten pretty strong by keeping my distance. Now th...

pinkchip · pinkchip

I know this is academic and I didn't write it - it's not alanon but actually I think some of the ideas from Alanon and ACOA shaped this form of marital/relationship therapy. Again, there have been many posts about how futile therapy is with an active alcoholic, but this does offer some insight into why...

Kismet · Kismet

I don't know how to cope any more. The stress of getting my husband to rehab and the years of the rollercoaster that comes with living with my AH have shattered me. Now that he is away and I am here trying to run my business and look after my two kids who are 1 and 3. The youngest is teething so I get no sleep at ni...

KLotus · KLotus

My AH began drinking again 9 weeks ago after one year of, well, dry-drunking. We separated a few months ago, and began reconciling after a couple of months, though he's not back home yet. He is now saying he isn't an alcoholic, that I have caused him to treat me badly (he said he's not an abuser typicall...

Jerry F · Jerry F

take a tooth pulling...LOL (((MIP))). It's true...there is "some" pain; it's located only in one small spot; once the tooth is gone the cause of the pain is gone and I remind myself the pain is very temporary whereas alcoholism just seems to go on forever. The dental people are all sooo...

Country Boy · Country Boy

I was reading another post about ultimatums & it got me thinking, I have never given AW an ultimatum. I have never said "if you don't stop drinking I'll ........." If you get drunk at the party I'll.........". Of course I would lecture her after it happened as any good codependent...

Amandakay · Amandakay

Sometimes I wish she wasn't so darned dramatic! We talked last night over cookies and milk. I just wanted to make sure she understood what happened to her was wrong. So, I asked her if she remembered the conversation and she did and basically told me the whole thing all over again with all kinds of drama a...

Frogonmytoe · Frogonmytoe

My husband is an alcoholic. I moved from San Diego to rural Nebraska five years ago; the first year was good, then it all went downhill once I realized my then boyfriend/now husband had a drinking problem. I used to go out with him and drink, even get drunk. Then I moved in with him, and going out became...

Oksie · Oksie

I will try to cut this long story short..... Some background required knowledge: Paying for an overseas trip so have no spare money at present. Husband who is atrocious at organising thingsMy husbands brothers funeral to pay for and he wants to give $1000 and I say its too much, but how can ya argue wi...

suebama · suebama

I wish I could overcome my feelings of jealousy, they seem so silly. Truth is, I wouldn't have him back with a COLLOSAL dowry! But every time I think of my ex "sober" husband (sorry, haven't learned to abbreviate like SOU) with his girlfriend or with our kids or with his girlfriend and our...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Now that my AH has moved back to live with her AFather (she was living out of state for the last 18 months), I am really struggling with setting boundaries with her. On the advice on my sponsor, last night I went to my first Al-Anon meeting specifically for parents. I've been in Al-Anon for over 3 years, bu...

usedtobeanyer · usedtobeanyer

While things have improved dramatically at home, I am currently struggling with a very unsatisfying work life at the moment. I came to the realization years ago that my career is not really something that I enjoy and not something that I was put on this earth to do. But, I'm 20 years in and as much as I disl...

jennfire · jennfire

My husband over the last year has quit drining, but never said forever or surrendered.....months of no drinking, then drinks and ends up being ugly for our marriage. This time he has told me he knows he can never drink again. I know the importance of support during recovery, but I am reluctant. Why s...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Hi everyone! Yesterday I met with my therapist and she confronted me about how I don't cry about what's going on in my marriage. She asked me why I don't cry and I pretty much told her that crying doesn't get me anywhere except left with a HUGE headache, achy eyes, and a sore nose. Also, it never goes well...

artygirl · artygirl

Hi! I was here several years ago when I was married to an A who was also a cocaine addict. Looong story short... I left him and divorced him and have completely moved forward in my life. I met someone new and have a fantastic relationship with him and we're planning to get married sometime next year. My...

almostgivenup · almostgivenup

So, things have been really terrible for the last 3 months. My AH's brother committed suicide in May. This is a horrible tradgedy and on top of it, he and my husband didn't have a great relationship. My AH is racked with guilt because he thinks he could have done somthing to prevent it. He is in a deep...

CassieCKA · CassieCKA

This is my first time on this board and I will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting next week. The roller coaster of the last 5 years has reached new heights when it comes to my parents, especially my mother. Both my parents are alcoholics, but my dad stopped drinking 12 years ago and has been sober and c...

lacewing · lacewing

Hello Everyone! It's that time of year for me where everything gets twisted, changed and re-scheduled for me. I am the Regular Chairperson for our Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting in our Chat Room and due to all these changes, I am jumping back to Chairing Tuesday Night Meetings starting next Monday (A...

willowtree · willowtree

I have been attending Alanon for over a year and am getting ready to start the steps with my sponsor next month. I wanted to say that this program works! I can't even explain it but it does. I read my literature every morning and evening. And the thing that has made a huge difference is I have been doing...

Karma73 · Karma73

I've never been to one of these forums but I'm desperate for some sage advice. I've only been married for a little over a year and I've already started to become angry and depressed; I fear for the future of my marriage because it's not going to survive if I continue to feel this kind of resentment, anger a...

Lonely · Lonely

I don't know where to start. I think my husband is on his way to becoming a fulfledged alcoholic. Right now he is functioning, can go a week or so without drinking with no problems, but feels its necessary to have a drink nearly every night. He hides the empty beer cans, whisky bottles, wine bottles, e...

fallingdown · fallingdown

I'm not gonna get my hopes up, I know these things take time, and usually it's a painful recovery. My alcoholic recently told me his cousin is in the hospital with severe alcohol poisoning and will most likely need to undergo surgery on his pancreas. I think it's made things very real, and has scared him...

Bettina · Bettina

What is the definition of Love?? You hear it all the time, but I love Him/Her. We are one. Marriage is forever!Love heals all. All you need is Love.... as we already know, there are different loves, love of our children, our parents, siblings. You can be constantly looking for love. With the goal of it b...

Gailey · Gailey

As seen below it seems Alanon helps the whole world. I didn't think I would be able to help my dil in Japan to understand the craziness of Aism but I told her to Google Alanon and she found it. I am so grateful for that because she is trying to control the situation Funny thing...since Japanese language doe...

Kate123 · Kate123

I'm new to this board. History... I wasn't raised in an alcoholic family. I dated my husband for 4 years before we married. Due to his work schedule we only saw each other 2-3 times a week and we didn't live together. I know this sounds crazy, but while there must have been some red flags during those 4 y...

suebama · suebama

How do I choose a sponsor on-line?

suebama · suebama

How can I get quick relief? I hurt too much to stand. I'm bitter and hostile. I want my qualifier to suffer, he had a colonoscopy the other day and I hoped they'd perforate his bowel. Instead I just sent him a text asking him if the doctors had finally located his brain. I'm just so angry at him and even...

Sad-confused-gf · Sad-confused-gf

I'm in a new relationship- 6 months together. He has recently moved in- we felt it was right- I am starting to see his drinking habits and how self destructive he can be. Last night, he was out for 7 hrs, took money from me without asking and did not answer his texts- i'm sure he was with somebody else. I'm...

Tracy · Tracy

hi Jerry, a day or so after you posted about your new little friends I went away to do some step work with some recovery friends, we stayed in a prayer house it was beautiful. I went out into the garden and there was a little pond with a duck and her 9 little duckings. A nun was feeding the ducks I laughed an...

Pushka · Pushka

Vacation with my mom was great the kids and I had an amazing time and I am so grateful that I was able to do that with them. My mom and I had a great time together lots of laughs and enjoyment. I actually miss her and was pretty emotional when we left. We are back and back to reality. It has not been an easy tr...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hey Everyone, My name is Jim and I have been a member of Al-Anon for 2.5 years. I cant express how much I am grateful for the fact that my higher power has guided me to this program. I am a 28 year old male. Prior to Al-Anon, I was very angry, sarcastic, bitter, judgemental and gossipy. Everything was always...

lashley6 · lashley6

I'm new to Al-Anon. I haven't been able to make a face to face meeting as I have 2 young children & no childcare for them, so I've came here in hopes that I can get some clarity and support. I've been married to my husband for 15 years. He has always drank, but never realized he was an alcoholic until a...

jorjorjor · jorjorjor

The more time i spend in al anon, the more awesome stuff i learn, and I wanted to share this thing i got goin on with ya'll today. I've realized that my thinking is really distorted because i have an initial reaction to be negative about most anything. as soon as i wake up its " oh I'm not doing anythin...

sirchef · sirchef

I have been a member of Ala -non for only a short time since 2011. Yet I am a grateful member of Ala-non. When I first came here I was A bitter angry person as many of us are because of alcohol or the drug use of people we love. I have taken this program and applied as best I could to my life. For the past 8 months I h...

JJ21 · JJ21

For those that have moved on from their marriages due to this disease, When does the pain stop!! When do u feel happy again and let go of their sick thinking and your own? I was so strong when I left and after trying to reconcile with him choosing the drink I am a mess. I can't believe I went back and had him cho...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Cautiously optimistic (Preview) My husband told me yesterday that he wants to "dry out". He has done this before on his own. From what I have read and learned through my research it is very rare that an alcoholic can quit and never go back to the booze without some form of counseling. However, he will not go at this time. So...	almostgivenup	7	512	Aug 21, 2012 by peacewithin
	Worried About My Safety (Preview) Today, started out with the AH leaving me a message that he was at work so I was welcome to come hang out at the house for a while. I called back to tell him thanks for being so kind as to invite me to my own home and he started in with the victim attitude again. How it was my choice to leave and he has asked me ove...	WornOutMrsFixIt	4	525	Aug 21, 2012 by Mattie
	My husband is about to come home from rehab...I'm worried! (Preview) Where to start? My husband finally decided to go thru a 35 day rehab. After 3 solid years of drinking and trying to stop....he was what you call a functional drunk. He worked and never made it into work late or didnt call in sick (at first). He started with beer every night after work...then graduated to...	regp	7	5489	Aug 21, 2012 by regp
	Cheating #$%^&*! (Preview) After all these years of dealing with a challenging marriage with AH and two young children, I am just done, done, done. Now the jerk has cheated on me and is still lying through his teeth trying to cover it up. I have good proof this time--I feel like I have to, otherwise he will just lie and manipulate as m...	Minaret	10	727	Aug 21, 2012 by Sandi49Austin
	Tiny sliver of light peeking through the darkness... (Preview) I think I may be getting better. I'm just beginning to have the slightest bit of hope. For so long I've been trying to fight my way out of this darkness, but a sick mind cannot heal a sick mind. Really, this site has helped so much. I've also gotten a sponsor from my f2f meeting and am talking with her.....	suebama	4	410	Aug 21, 2012 by Sandi49Austin
	Parents enabling A brother? enabling (Preview) My brother has been in inpatient treatment, left AA because of philosophical differences, said he was working on his alcoholism his own way, and recently got fired from his job for his drinking. My parents are providing him money for health insurance and even talking about giving him a place to live...	glow	7	8772	Aug 21, 2012 by Elsie
	Need someone to talk to.... (Preview) My A wont respond to me, and I know he's with his friend who influences him to drink the most... I know there's nothing to do I just need someone to talk to....	fallingdown	20	2116	Aug 21, 2012 by jennfire
	Feeling so out of control (Preview) This episode started 2-3wks. ago, my 17y.o. grandson told me he was moving 41/2 miles away with his step dad and his 7y.o. sis. For a moment I got involved, expressing my feelings against it, but realized it was none of my business, but I went into the fear mode, a large city, gangs, HS dropout etc. A f...	Highlyfavored	1	451	Aug 21, 2012 by Bettina
	New to this (Preview) Im new to this! Finally had a break down this year. My husband drinks every day 3 or 4 drinks of which I see. His job is as a head brewer for an ale company. He as only had this job for about 6 months. I questioned why he would come home with the smell of alcahol on his breath. He said he has to check the brew in prog...	Rosie77	9	498	Aug 21, 2012 by JJ21
	convention (Preview) Hi all, I went to the liverpool (in England)AA convention yesterday. I love it I have so many friends in al anon and AA , I love it when we all come together. there were not many Al anon members whcih is a shame seems to be same old faces at conventions (so members just like comfort of their groups) There wer...	Tracy	1	294	Aug 20, 2012 by david62
	Letting go of control/or the idea of being in control (Preview) I've posted before and I've been to a few F2F meetings. I'm trying to use the tools I'm learning but it seems that things are getting worse vs better. I used to try and control when he drinks and how much. I used to threaten to leave if he came home drinking but I never did, at least not for long. It seemed that...	Hope2000	7	731	Aug 20, 2012 by Hope2000
	Sometimes the program sneaks up on me (Preview) An acquaintance was telling a story about how other drivers have been trying to race her and her new car constantly and explained how she outmaneuvered this particular driver who tried to pass her. As I was listening I had an experience of actually feeling my uneasy emotional reaction which consiste...	Jennifer	5	403	Aug 20, 2012 by 1911A1
	Off topic question (Preview) Does anyone believe in this stuff? I am curious your thoughts on it. I kind of believe it but it also freaked me out a bit too. The link is below http://thecarolblog.com/energetic-events-emotions/	daisy31	2	405	Aug 20, 2012 by PP
	here i go again (Preview) here i am up at 3am and missing my a and his company we both always got up around this time,i know he is missing it to,here i go agin ,harder this time being without him,but i do know i can do this,it wont be easy but it will be worth it in the long run,i do know that just have to keep thinking of all the negs he put i...	silent	2	297	Aug 20, 2012 by Tracy
	update on a moveing out (Preview) i finally told him he had to move out in a nice tone of voice,he didnt want to go but excepted it and packed his things nicely ,he wants us to still be boyfreind and girlfreind,i said o.k.,we would still talk and go out.soooo i got what i wanted (my space back),along with my peace of mind and serenity back,i...	silent	8	456	Aug 20, 2012 by Jerry F
	Brand New Here (Preview) Hello - I'm brand new here and I just wanted to say hello :) I've been searching around and I really like a lot of what I have read and I look forward to reading more and learning. I am fairly new to Alanon ( just finished a 90 in 90) I have known of the program for years but never really immersed myself in it lik...	She-ra	6	390	Aug 20, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Questioning how Alanon works/helps for the person not in the relationship any longer (Preview) I have attended two F2F meetings and in both the people were trying to stay in their marriage or they were parents of alcoholic children. I felt a little out of place since I am no longer in my relationship and looking to move forward. I am hurt that alcohol caused this and I get that I can't change it and f...	JJ21	8	610	Aug 19, 2012 by JJ21
	My Blood Is Boiling (Preview) I am sitting here surrounded in bills trying to juggle how to pay them and noticed that the ONE that I asked my husband to pay last month didn't get paid and now we owe for two months. I also realized that he went from making close to six figures to making @$20,000 last year. He had conveniently filed for a...	WornOutMrsFixIt	10	723	Aug 19, 2012 by WornOutMrsFixIt
	A visit from the addict (Preview) Hopefully a brief one. In my mind, I have my wonderful loving husband whom I adore, and his evil twin... the addict.. who comes homes in his place every now and then. Last night, the addict came to visit, but as he hadn't been here for a while, he was on his best behaviour. I came home to a stoned husband. Th...	Oksie	5	461	Aug 19, 2012 by Pushka
	Any rehab success stories? (Preview) The more I listen to people and read stories, the more I wonder if it is possible for alcoholics to recover? I think I know of one happy ending and it scares me. I know that my happiness is my responsibility but I am really worried that rehab doesn't seem to have a very good success rate for the alcoholics.....	Kismet	8	617	Aug 19, 2012 by pineapple
	Changing it (Preview) You know how we say we can choose how we react to something? I was tortured by the past losses almost every day. A very wise woman showed me some scriptures that said we are to be in the present and look ahead! Wow hmmm. So for awhile now if those creepy past things come into my head I stop it and say I am here now...	Debilyn	2	386	Aug 19, 2012 by pineapple
	HP has found a way to keep me going to my Alanon meetings (Preview) As I have told you before my oldest A son has just celebrated his 1st AA anniversary. I am so grateful for that. He and I attend our meetings on Saturday evenings as much as possible. He goes upstains...I go downstairs I have always known my younger son had a problem. I have even labeled him an A the last co...	Gailey	1	1728	Aug 18, 2012 by Mattie
	New to forum (Preview) Hi everyone I just decided to join the boards sometime it's hard to get to meetings.my husband of 28 years had 19 years sobriety when he slipped it has been a fast decline I've been in alanon for 1 year and just trying to get my head together I'm having such a hard time of detaching. My fear just keeps my mind...	Pipper	6	491	Aug 18, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Sweet dream or nightmare (Preview) I dreamed last night that my ex AH came to me and told me how much he missed me and begged me back. It was a warm and delicious dream, almost like a romance novel. When I woke up and realized it was just a dream, I almost sank into despair immediately. However, I asked myself if I was going to let a stupid dre...	suebama	7	440	Aug 18, 2012 by likemyheart
	Thanks/To RLC (Preview) I'm feeling a little sentimental tonight. Things are finally looking up for me. My A is planning to go back to the U.S. to live, has a flight booked at the end of the month. This has me on a roller coaster of emotions-happy, sad, hurt, glad. But overall I know it's the best thing for both of us. I'm finally ab...	pineapple	7	428	Aug 18, 2012 by GailMichelle
	Dealing with family (Preview) How do you successfully have a relationship with a dysfunctional family (parents/siblings)? I want to have a relationship with them but they seem to want to enmesh with me. I have gotten really healthy from creating time and distance and I have gotten pretty strong by keeping my distance. Now th...	daisy31	2	383	Aug 18, 2012 by abbyal
	What do you guys think of this? (Preview) I know this is academic and I didn't write it - it's not alanon but actually I think some of the ideas from Alanon and ACOA shaped this form of marital/relationship therapy. Again, there have been many posts about how futile therapy is with an active alcoholic, but this does offer some insight into why...	pinkchip	7	604	Aug 17, 2012 by Debilyn
	Nervous breakdown (Preview) I don't know how to cope any more. The stress of getting my husband to rehab and the years of the rollercoaster that comes with living with my AH have shattered me. Now that he is away and I am here trying to run my business and look after my two kids who are 1 and 3. The youngest is teething so I get no sleep at ni...	Kismet	8	708	Aug 17, 2012 by Kismet
	Here we go again (Preview) My AH began drinking again 9 weeks ago after one year of, well, dry-drunking. We separated a few months ago, and began reconciling after a couple of months, though he's not back home yet. He is now saying he isn't an alcoholic, that I have caused him to treat me badly (he said he's not an abuser typicall...	KLotus	8	472	Aug 17, 2012 by nana1970
	If you've been thru alcoholism you can... (Preview) take a tooth pulling...LOL (((MIP))). It's true...there is "some" pain; it's located only in one small spot; once the tooth is gone the cause of the pain is gone and I remind myself the pain is very temporary whereas alcoholism just seems to go on forever. The dental people are all sooo...	Jerry F	9	513	Aug 17, 2012 by Country Boy
	No Ultimatums (Preview) I was reading another post about ultimatums & it got me thinking, I have never given AW an ultimatum. I have never said "if you don't stop drinking I'll ........." If you get drunk at the party I'll.........". Of course I would lecture her after it happened as any good codependent...	Country Boy	17	914	Aug 17, 2012 by All I can be
	My baby girl and I had a talk (Preview) Sometimes I wish she wasn't so darned dramatic! We talked last night over cookies and milk. I just wanted to make sure she understood what happened to her was wrong. So, I asked her if she remembered the conversation and she did and basically told me the whole thing all over again with all kinds of drama a...	Amandakay	8	666	Aug 17, 2012 by Amandakay
	Feeling lost, alone, and I don't know what to do! (Preview) My husband is an alcoholic. I moved from San Diego to rural Nebraska five years ago; the first year was good, then it all went downhill once I realized my then boyfriend/now husband had a drinking problem. I used to go out with him and drink, even get drunk. Then I moved in with him, and going out became...	Frogonmytoe	9	516	Aug 17, 2012 by Frogonmytoe
	working it (Preview) I will try to cut this long story short..... Some background required knowledge: Paying for an overseas trip so have no spare money at present. Husband who is atrocious at organising thingsMy husbands brothers funeral to pay for and he wants to give $1000 and I say its too much, but how can ya argue wi...	Oksie	2	447	Aug 17, 2012 by Jackie11
	Jealousy (Preview) I wish I could overcome my feelings of jealousy, they seem so silly. Truth is, I wouldn't have him back with a COLLOSAL dowry! But every time I think of my ex "sober" husband (sorry, haven't learned to abbreviate like SOU) with his girlfriend or with our kids or with his girlfriend and our...	suebama	8	886	Aug 17, 2012 by JJ21
	Dealing with my AD (Preview) Now that my AH has moved back to live with her AFather (she was living out of state for the last 18 months), I am really struggling with setting boundaries with her. On the advice on my sponsor, last night I went to my first Al-Anon meeting specifically for parents. I've been in Al-Anon for over 3 years, bu...	Green Eyes	3	380	Aug 17, 2012 by Path to Serenity
	In all our affairs... (Preview) While things have improved dramatically at home, I am currently struggling with a very unsatisfying work life at the moment. I came to the realization years ago that my career is not really something that I enjoy and not something that I was put on this earth to do. But, I'm 20 years in and as much as I disl...	usedtobeanyer	4	678	Aug 17, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	(Newbie to site)How supportive should I be when he quits again? (Preview) My husband over the last year has quit drining, but never said forever or surrendered.....months of no drinking, then drinks and ends up being ugly for our marriage. This time he has told me he knows he can never drink again. I know the importance of support during recovery, but I am reluctant. Why s...	jennfire	7	475	Aug 17, 2012 by AllieinAlanon
	Feeling very done, is there hope for restoration? (Preview) Hi everyone! Yesterday I met with my therapist and she confronted me about how I don't cry about what's going on in my marriage. She asked me why I don't cry and I pretty much told her that crying doesn't get me anywhere except left with a HUGE headache, achy eyes, and a sore nose. Also, it never goes well...	ilovedogs	20	675	Aug 17, 2012 by pinkchip
	been there, done that... (Preview) Hi! I was here several years ago when I was married to an A who was also a cocaine addict. Looong story short... I left him and divorced him and have completely moved forward in my life. I met someone new and have a fantastic relationship with him and we're planning to get married sometime next year. My...	artygirl	4	381	Aug 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Am I abandoning him? (Preview) So, things have been really terrible for the last 3 months. My AH's brother committed suicide in May. This is a horrible tradgedy and on top of it, he and my husband didn't have a great relationship. My AH is racked with guilt because he thinks he could have done somthing to prevent it. He is in a deep...	almostgivenup	12	708	Aug 17, 2012 by almostgivenup
	My mother is gone (Preview) This is my first time on this board and I will be attending my first Al-Anon meeting next week. The roller coaster of the last 5 years has reached new heights when it comes to my parents, especially my mother. Both my parents are alcoholics, but my dad stopped drinking 12 years ago and has been sober and c...	CassieCKA	4	432	Aug 17, 2012 by orchidlover
	Chairperson's Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting Schedule Change (Preview) Hello Everyone! It's that time of year for me where everything gets twisted, changed and re-scheduled for me. I am the Regular Chairperson for our Monday Night Al-Anon Meeting in our Chat Room and due to all these changes, I am jumping back to Chairing Tuesday Night Meetings starting next Monday (A...	lacewing	2	298	Aug 17, 2012 by Tigger
	Alanon is working! (Preview) I have been attending Alanon for over a year and am getting ready to start the steps with my sponsor next month. I wanted to say that this program works! I can't even explain it but it does. I read my literature every morning and evening. And the thing that has made a huge difference is I have been doing...	willowtree	4	484	Aug 16, 2012 by Country Boy
	Newly remarried and in dire need of advice. (Preview) I've never been to one of these forums but I'm desperate for some sage advice. I've only been married for a little over a year and I've already started to become angry and depressed; I fear for the future of my marriage because it's not going to survive if I continue to feel this kind of resentment, anger a...	Karma73	26	764	Aug 16, 2012 by Karma73
	How to start? (Preview) I don't know where to start. I think my husband is on his way to becoming a fulfledged alcoholic. Right now he is functioning, can go a week or so without drinking with no problems, but feels its necessary to have a drink nearly every night. He hides the empty beer cans, whisky bottles, wine bottles, e...	Lonely	10	605	Aug 16, 2012 by Faith_Love_2005
	May have had somewhat of a breakthrough? (Preview) I'm not gonna get my hopes up, I know these things take time, and usually it's a painful recovery. My alcoholic recently told me his cousin is in the hospital with severe alcohol poisoning and will most likely need to undergo surgery on his pancreas. I think it's made things very real, and has scared him...	fallingdown	1	297	Aug 16, 2012 by pineapple
	Lets examine LOVE! (Preview) What is the definition of Love?? You hear it all the time, but I love Him/Her. We are one. Marriage is forever!Love heals all. All you need is Love.... as we already know, there are different loves, love of our children, our parents, siblings. You can be constantly looking for love. With the goal of it b...	Bettina	5	612	Aug 16, 2012 by AStrongerMe
	Alanon around the world (Preview) As seen below it seems Alanon helps the whole world. I didn't think I would be able to help my dil in Japan to understand the craziness of Aism but I told her to Google Alanon and she found it. I am so grateful for that because she is trying to control the situation Funny thing...since Japanese language doe...	Gailey	2	341	Aug 16, 2012 by Tigger
	Why is it all my fault, no matter what I do? And sometimes he's real fun to be with. Not sure what to do. (Preview) I'm new to this board. History... I wasn't raised in an alcoholic family. I dated my husband for 4 years before we married. Due to his work schedule we only saw each other 2-3 times a week and we didn't live together. I know this sounds crazy, but while there must have been some red flags during those 4 y...	Kate123	5	552	Aug 16, 2012 by jennfire
	Sponsorship (Preview) How do I choose a sponsor on-line?	suebama	2	338	Aug 15, 2012 by glad lee
	Still confused (Preview) How can I get quick relief? I hurt too much to stand. I'm bitter and hostile. I want my qualifier to suffer, he had a colonoscopy the other day and I hoped they'd perforate his bowel. Instead I just sent him a text asking him if the doctors had finally located his brain. I'm just so angry at him and even...	suebama	9	600	Aug 15, 2012 by ilovedogs
	Just trying to understand alcoholism (Preview) I'm in a new relationship- 6 months together. He has recently moved in- we felt it was right- I am starting to see his drinking habits and how self destructive he can be. Last night, he was out for 7 hrs, took money from me without asking and did not answer his texts- i'm sure he was with somebody else. I'm...	Sad-confused-gf	10	733	Aug 15, 2012 by Sad-confused-gf
	Jerry s duckies (Preview) hi Jerry, a day or so after you posted about your new little friends I went away to do some step work with some recovery friends, we stayed in a prayer house it was beautiful. I went out into the garden and there was a little pond with a duck and her 9 little duckings. A nun was feeding the ducks I laughed an...	Tracy	2	402	Aug 15, 2012 by Amandakay
	Anger Vent (Preview) Vacation with my mom was great the kids and I had an amazing time and I am so grateful that I was able to do that with them. My mom and I had a great time together lots of laughs and enjoyment. I actually miss her and was pretty emotional when we left. We are back and back to reality. It has not been an easy tr...	Pushka	8	670	Aug 15, 2012 by amills4294
	To much growth in al-anon it seems ! haha (Preview) Hey Everyone, My name is Jim and I have been a member of Al-Anon for 2.5 years. I cant express how much I am grateful for the fact that my higher power has guided me to this program. I am a 28 year old male. Prior to Al-Anon, I was very angry, sarcastic, bitter, judgemental and gossipy. Everything was always...	slogan_jim	1	458	Aug 15, 2012 by Katy
	Need Some Help! (Preview) I'm new to Al-Anon. I haven't been able to make a face to face meeting as I have 2 young children & no childcare for them, so I've came here in hopes that I can get some clarity and support. I've been married to my husband for 15 years. He has always drank, but never realized he was an alcoholic until a...	lashley6	4	598	Aug 15, 2012 by Jerry F
	SHedding my stinkin thinkin! (Preview) The more time i spend in al anon, the more awesome stuff i learn, and I wanted to share this thing i got goin on with ya'll today. I've realized that my thinking is really distorted because i have an initial reaction to be negative about most anything. as soon as i wake up its " oh I'm not doing anythin...	jorjorjor	4	366	Aug 15, 2012 by Breakingfree
	lesson learned (Preview) I have been a member of Ala -non for only a short time since 2011. Yet I am a grateful member of Ala-non. When I first came here I was A bitter angry person as many of us are because of alcohol or the drug use of people we love. I have taken this program and applied as best I could to my life. For the past 8 months I h...	sirchef	4	417	Aug 15, 2012 by wp
	When does the pain end and the healing begin (Preview) For those that have moved on from their marriages due to this disease, When does the pain stop!! When do u feel happy again and let go of their sick thinking and your own? I was so strong when I left and after trying to reconcile with him choosing the drink I am a mess. I can't believe I went back and had him cho...	JJ21	10	602	Aug 15, 2012 by All I can be
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.