Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Number30 · Number30

I wasn't going to post today, but I felt led to share my new mantra. It's been a long 2 weeks. My grandmother passed away Friday night and my chaotic house became a vortex. Last night was hell as my AH went through withdrawal and kept waking me up to "help" with the paranoia and hallucination...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

My son came by my work today to see if I could print out something for him. He's selling his car. :( He looked really good except for the anxiety and worry he has. Can't seem to find a job. SOBER....and for a time too because he wasn't even shaking. I in turn had a tough time not wanting to help him. WOW...

oldergal · oldergal

Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln s...

ilovedogs · ilovedogs

Long story short: AH is making an attempt at normalcy around here. His mother just passed away and he put on the show for his family but I think he was quite grateful that I flew across the country to be there with him. He has been reaching out and I've been feeling quite confused. Just a few weeks ago he w...

newwoman · newwoman

Thank you EVERYONE yet again for saving my a@!.... In response to PinkChip and the "session question"... that is next month and costs 600.00. (a shotgun shell is a lot cheaper! I AM KIDDING) But really, how about you yucko's pay me 600.00 for the trip and my time. How about that? I like that id...

bsketlady · bsketlady

hi all - i've been on the AA page and it was very helpful and they referred me to over here :) what great posts to read here, and they are so helpful! i am really struggling with trusting my husband again...i see things aren't right i can verify he has lied beyond a shadow of a doubt about stupid stuff like no...

1976love · 1976love

I have to share this with everyone! Need a little background first. I married for the first time very young (19) and had two beautiful boys from that marriage. They are currently 14 and 11. I met my current AH married him and he adopted my boys and than we had a baby girl and life went on. Well, as you al...

BethMc · BethMc

Hi all. Sorry, this is going to be kinda long. I feel like I don't have many I can talk to about this who would understand. My sister is the alcoholic in this case. She lives just caddy-corner from me, a block away. Her son is 6, my son is 7, so go to school together, I see them every day, etc. Sometimes latel...

StargazerLily · StargazerLily

I want them to move out. I want them to stop drinking. I want my space back. I'm so angry. I just recently found out that I can't say anything to her without flipping out. She asked me if I were in her shoes would I get a job. I said yes. Normally I just nod and give her the answer she wants. That's what I should ha...

healing_rain2001 · healing_rain2001

Hi everyone, I am new to this board. But I am not new to the ravages of addiction. I am going through a particularly hard time right now so I guess I need to get some things off my chest and get some feedback. My mother has struggled with addictive issues for close to 30 years. She has never admitte...

newwoman · newwoman

29 January 2013 Dear Ms. XXXXX ,Regarding the request for family to complete the client questionnaire, first of all client #202 and myself arent family, we "xxxx". Second, whatever insight I have to offer in the overall scheme of his treatment isnt worth a pinch of monkey "xxxx&qu...

Picksims · Picksims

My husband and I have been together off and on for the last ten years. I was 14 when we met, he was 18. I have a four year old daughter and I am currently almost six months pregnant with our second little girl. During the beginning stages of our relationship, he was a drinker from the start, but me being so you...

imom · imom

My kids convinced my AH to seek treatment. He is telling all of us that he will do it but only for the kids because mommy won't like me anyway. Why am I letting this bother me? I told him I loved him and that maybe if he can't get help we could call off the divorce. He just keeps saying forget it because you won't...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend I was flipping through the TV in an effort to pass the time. I came across a show that profiled aboriginal canadians and some of their struggles. They profiled a comedian by the name of Howie Miller. I had heard of him be...

resilientsparks · resilientsparks

Hi I am the wife of an alcoholic who is not drinking yet very abusive. Its one of those days, got yelled at at the end of a long tiring day at work. Angry hurting and manipulating husband. Somehow I ahve loved him. Somehow I still do. Yet this is one of thsoe days. Trying to meet my demands at work. Keep my hea...

Pushka · Pushka

First off the whole family is sick, I have the flu and the kids have bacterial ear infections. My son is the worst out of the two of them. He is also running a fever. They are on antibotics. I'm sucking it up. I was informed over this past weekend that SBTAX went to church and he's compelled to tell me he...

atheos · atheos

I have a cat who sometimes decides to pee in places other than the litterbox. I have put up with it for over a year, and done all sorts of things vets and cat people recommended, but nothing stopped it (so please don't turn this into a thread of cat behavior tips... the situation is past that point). I am abs...

newwoman · newwoman

Today i feel better while my love is away in rehab and have had such loving support from this board. (thank you) Because I feel better I find myself glossing over the reality of what happened leading him into rehab and the emotional mess I found myself left to address alone. Now, he and his counselor have...

cinders · cinders

I stood up for myself yesterday and am so at peace because of the growth I have found while working the Alanon steps. My AH called and said that he wanted to continue to have a relationship but put many conditions on it. First, we will get divorced. Secondly, we will never live together again. Thir...

wyndwhsthlr · wyndwhsthlr

I never thought my life would end up here. My big plans for the year included 6 half-marathons, starting a business and possibly getting engaged. I knew my BF had a problem with alcohol. He had said he had stopped drinking. A trip to the ER a week ago crashed my world entirely. He's admitting now that he h...

RobinKSC · RobinKSC

I won't be able to chair the Wednesday morning meeting. -- Edited by RobinKSC on Tuesday 29th of January 2013 11:35:46 AM

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Does anyone kniw if there are any electronic versions of c2c and or other great al anon family support books&if so from where can I download...id like an android version og c2c or similar...any suggestions...thanks

stephaniej · stephaniej

Thank you thank you thank you! Thank you for all your support, and prayers, and kind words. I received a call today, and I have been offered a job with the county; a job that I know I will be great at. A job that I need, and that I am terribly excited about.

NewMember · NewMember

I am so angry with my husband. I came to terms with the fact that he's a functioning alcoholic a few months ago. I've always struggled to really pin down whether or not he was an alcoholic before I found that definition online. Then it all became so clear! But this week was a whole new low. He has this pa...

rehprof · rehprof

I honestly am sitting here in tears. I truly feel like the universe is trying to break me. I can't sell my house because I owe more on it than it's worth, and there are so many things wrong with it...because I trusted my exA to hire competent people to do "upgrades" -- what a joke. I have $100 to m...

pinkchip · pinkchip

Do I have the definitive answer to this. No. Do I have ESH and thoughts...always and I often share them (maybe too much lol). I don't think this ESH is so special or so unique but I do think it's probably generic in terms of what is to be gained through alanon and other 12 step programs too. I responded t...

scaredandconfused · scaredandconfused

I shouldn't be suprised anymore by anything my husband says. We are separated and I've been doing a good job the past several days of avoiding communication and focusing on myself. Now he has sucked me back into his sick world and he has me angry and crying over his cruel comments. After he continued to r...

Email sent to all members... · John

Hello Everyone! You are receiving this email as a registered member on the MIP Al-Anon Message Board at http://alanon.activeboard.com. I try to truly minimize the number of emails I send out to the members each year. Usually it does not exceed 3 per year, so please take a few moments of your time to r...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I fell today on ice & snow. But I am a trooper; I got up & trudged on. I don't think I am hurt that bad but I think that I have prayers going out for me just in case. I am so glad that I didn't feel like crying. I laughed it off w/ my husband on the phone. Another day in the small town. I have to admit that I lov...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I still sometimes think it is all about me but after 27 years in the program, it is getting to be more about YOU! I have been able to get out of my world into helping others more. What a concept? I am so grateful for the years I have been on here. I have shared all kinds of emotions & experiences that I proba...

Katy · Katy

It's been of some comfort to know my sister inlaw has allowed him to use her sofa to sleep on this last two weeks, but things have been getting worse she can't afford to keep him for free and had asked him for some board money, he has complained he doesn't get fed well and she treats her cats better, I have sta...

tortuga · tortuga

I need your help or advise. it has now become clear to me that I have been massively emotionally abused. one thing now is to forgive myself for not having removed myself from this situation earlier. But i still think i did best with what i knew at the time. the other thing is to not obsess anymore about the p...

tnmom · tnmom

How to you deal with an AH who comes in so intoxicated that he starts frying something , passes out and doesn't even hear the fire alarm? Passes out with food in his mouth. Lets the dogs outside and passes out and forgets them in the freesing cold. If I didn't have to work I could stay up, but I do have to work...

PP · PP

I am angry tonight and don't want to admit it to anyone, which is why I am admitting it here. It is a clue that I want to hide out. When I want to hide, it is best to get myself to an al anon meeting asap. I am angry at 3 of my 4 adult children...all have addictions to substances. Two owe us money and 1 exposes...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

Well. The may be the last straw. My ah of 15yrs came home having had a few....early though I was just getting 8yo to bed. It was clear he was agitated and I tried to stay low ....nothing worked. First he went off on ploitics...rage. Then it turned on me...i didnt react right so..."youre s***, and fu....

Fool4You · Fool4You

My A is soon to be 53 years old, a smoker and recovered heroin addict from before I knew him. He's been drinking since he was a child (abstinence for years because of a prison stint) and the past three years I just found out he's been smoking crack. I thought he stopped the crack 2 years ago, but he didn't....

imom · imom

So lately I found myself really not paying much attention to my AH. I cannot figure out if its my way of detaching or if I just cannot stand him anymore. I really try not to be rude because I don't want to be that way, but sometimes I just cannot help but be disgusted by him.

likemyheart · likemyheart

We were watching Lord of the Rings, Part Two, Extended Version (highly recommended to those who like LOTR) and I saw the scene that birthed my MIP Nickname. Arwen is giving Aragorn this silver jewelry thing, he tries to get her to take it back, not give it, and she tells him it is hers to give, like my heart...

newwoman · newwoman

The request has been made by my love (who is in rehab) and the counselor to come for an hour visit in two weeks. HELP!!!! My feelings about this are running amuck. Yes, I want to see him. But I am JUST now starting to get myself pulled somewhat together after the mess I found myself in when he left for rehab....

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Hi EveryoneIn the 3 short months I have been on MIP with all the support and encouragement I have received, I have come a long way. I have learned to detach more and more every day. What I might or might not have done in my past cant be changed, but Im learning to except it, forgive, and move on to have a bet...

abbyalana · abbyalana

Well, I've been in therapy for almost 3 years now. I know I'm co-dependent and working on that. I'm working on myself and self-esteem as a result of the abuse, chaos and trauma too. I am divorced and have been dating - here and there. So, I finally catch a break and meet a nice guy. I mean nice guy. Par...

Magster · Magster

Every moment you spend upset, despaired, anguished, angry or hurt because of the behavior of anyone else in your life, is a moment in which you've given up control of your life.

1976love · 1976love

Just a little note to share. When I first started alanon i was truely going to get my AH "fixed" was pretty sure they would have all the answers to fix him. When I went to my first meeting and was in total shock that they expected me, of all people, to do the same steps my sick AH had to do. I am ve...

Dee3 · Dee3

My son has a drug problem. It has been going on for years and last week we had an intervention with him. He did admit he has a problem and he was willing to get help. He is now in a rehab center. I never thought I would have to go through any of this but I am sure we all thought that. I am asking for understand and h...

hotrod · hotrod

IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 8 MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAVE HARMED AND BECAME willing to make amends to them allPlease join us and share your eSHhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52406122/step-8-alanon/

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

I am really struggling with my eating right now and am gaining weight. Last time I became single I lost weight and worked out a lot. Now I am in school sitting in class and studying a lot 5 classes right now 2 of which are twice a week, with 2 kids and work on the weekends I have really turned to food. I am not lo...

el-cee · el-cee

I'm just not feeling my program tonight. My son who still hasn't moved out of course I still don't have the courage. Had a row with him completely reacted, I'm obviously resentful over what happened at the weekend and let go Of my anger, I'm still angry, he's out tonight and I feel like not letting him ba...

sheristeele · sheristeele

I kicked my A son out of the home over 2 months ago. This past week he calls and says that he "needs money for groceries" and that he needs to see a doctor. I went and picked him up and took him to the ER and paid for his medications when he was released. He was smart mouthed and rude to me several ti...

militantsparrow · militantsparrow

It is difficult to write about something that has affected me my entire life yet have never really spoken to anyone about. I started to write this several times, but it keeps spinning out of control. So, I will try one more time to write just enough to get my story across. It will likely be hard to follow. I...

Keaghan · Keaghan

My A is trying to quit drinking. However many times she has tried to fool me and she is clearly drunk or at least buzzed. she repeats herself a lot when is buzzed. Clear give away. Anyway should I not call her out on it ? Should I just keep to myself ? I don't want to accuse her but then again I want to know and her...

Minaret · Minaret

I know this topic has probably been started before, but I had a tough time the other night...my AH was drinking and yelling at the kids and on and on, the typical chaos on a worknight (a worknight for me at least), and I wound up putting both children to bed, usually if AH is not picking a fight with me, he hel...

LetDownandLost · LetDownandLost

Hi there. I had known my husband for almost six years. We got married in 2009. I discovered last fall that he had a drinking problem because he got arrested for OWI and he had a blood alcohol level of .352! Of course, I couldn't find him that night and after calling numerous police stations and area hospi...

Mommamimi · Mommamimi

I'm posting this because it's important for all of us as enablers to know! Once you have allowed your A friend or family member establish their "residence" with you, you can NOT force them to leave without officially evicting them. That can be a long drawn out process, it will also require y...

WornOutMrsFixIt · WornOutMrsFixIt

Why am I still having such a hard time realizing that NOTHING I do is going to make a difference? Believe me, I have tried it all - drill seargent, supportive wife, nurse and in the end, separated myself from the situation but still, he tries and fails. Part of me feels so sad for him when I see how insec...

imom · imom

My AH claims he has been told and has read a lot of research about how a small percentage of people cannot ever be helped by recovery programs ( I.e. rehab and aa). Has anyone come across this research or is this just another one of his lame excuses to avoid recovery?

oldergal · oldergal

They abuse you physically, and verbally, uses you, doesnt agree with you, hates you, takes advantage of you, manipulates you abuse your children etc. etc.? I am not sure I understand this, are people that instantly forgiving or what is it. I am sincere about this question. Please shed some light on th...

motherof5 · motherof5

I am new to the idea of Al-Anon. My mother has suggested that I go. My partner of the last 4 years is an alcoholic. We have had numerous arguements.. lately things have gotten physical. Today I came home from work and he was stumbling and intoxicated. This just 1 1/2 weeks after he drug me across the h...

Keaghan · Keaghan

My wife is an A. She is going to a psycholgist now and I thought she would be getting better. However things have changed. At first she was definitely sober. Maybe the first month. Now although she appears sober, something is clearly up. It's like instead of drinking a ton she now measures and knows just...

AStrongerMe · AStrongerMe

6 years of abuse my kids have endured may be ending with a bang. Unfortunately I have to go through the same scrutiny as well. A therapist for my middle son who lives with his great aunt called CPS. Unfortunately the manner the "data" was presented makes it sound like I knew they were going...

Afraidparent · Afraidparent

After hearing my daughter be drunk again this weekend and learning she was fighting with her one last friend whose been there for her since they were in the 1st grade, I decided to send this email to her. I probably shouldn't have as her replies were spewing hatred to me afterward. She threatened to wr...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	My new mantra (Preview) I wasn't going to post today, but I felt led to share my new mantra. It's been a long 2 weeks. My grandmother passed away Friday night and my chaotic house became a vortex. Last night was hell as my AH went through withdrawal and kept waking me up to "help" with the paranoia and hallucination...	Number30	5	247	Jan 31, 2013 by el-cee
	I had a visit this morning (Preview) My son came by my work today to see if I could print out something for him. He's selling his car. :( He looked really good except for the anxiety and worry he has. Can't seem to find a job. SOBER....and for a time too because he wasn't even shaking. I in turn had a tough time not wanting to help him. WOW...	Cathyinaz	4	365	Jan 31, 2013 by Auntyaya
	"JUST FOR TODAY" (Preview) Just for today, I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime. Just for today, I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln s...	oldergal	3	308	Jan 31, 2013 by el-cee
	AH is trying to reconnect with me (Preview) Long story short: AH is making an attempt at normalcy around here. His mother just passed away and he put on the show for his family but I think he was quite grateful that I flew across the country to be there with him. He has been reaching out and I've been feeling quite confused. Just a few weeks ago he w...	ilovedogs	3	403	Jan 31, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Follow Up to REALITY CHECK NEEDED Posting Regarding Visit to A in Rehab (Preview) Thank you EVERYONE yet again for saving my a@!.... In response to PinkChip and the "session question"... that is next month and costs 600.00. (a shotgun shell is a lot cheaper! I AM KIDDING) But really, how about you yucko's pay me 600.00 for the trip and my time. How about that? I like that id...	newwoman	4	278	Jan 31, 2013 by Afraidparent
	just dpn't get it! (Preview) hi all - i've been on the AA page and it was very helpful and they referred me to over here :) what great posts to read here, and they are so helpful! i am really struggling with trusting my husband again...i see things aren't right i can verify he has lied beyond a shadow of a doubt about stupid stuff like no...	bsketlady	5	477	Jan 30, 2013 by Afraidparent
	The rewards are off the charts (Preview) I have to share this with everyone! Need a little background first. I married for the first time very young (19) and had two beautiful boys from that marriage. They are currently 14 and 11. I met my current AH married him and he adopted my boys and than we had a baby girl and life went on. Well, as you al...	1976love	3	271	Jan 30, 2013 by Annie1234
	Worried about my nephew (Preview) Hi all. Sorry, this is going to be kinda long. I feel like I don't have many I can talk to about this who would understand. My sister is the alcoholic in this case. She lives just caddy-corner from me, a block away. Her son is 6, my son is 7, so go to school together, I see them every day, etc. Sometimes latel...	BethMc	5	339	Jan 30, 2013 by BethMc
	Not taking care of me.... (Preview) I want them to move out. I want them to stop drinking. I want my space back. I'm so angry. I just recently found out that I can't say anything to her without flipping out. She asked me if I were in her shoes would I get a job. I said yes. Normally I just nod and give her the answer she wants. That's what I should ha...	StargazerLily	2	206	Jan 30, 2013 by abbyalana
	So confused if I am doing the right thing... (Preview) Hi everyone, I am new to this board. But I am not new to the ravages of addiction. I am going through a particularly hard time right now so I guess I need to get some things off my chest and get some feedback. My mother has struggled with addictive issues for close to 30 years. She has never admitte...	healing_rain2001	1	269	Jan 30, 2013 by pinkchip
	Copy of Letter Composed to A's Rehab Facility.... (Preview) 29 January 2013 Dear Ms. XXXXX ,Regarding the request for family to complete the client questionnaire, first of all client #202 and myself arent family, we "xxxx". Second, whatever insight I have to offer in the overall scheme of his treatment isnt worth a pinch of monkey "xxxx&qu...	newwoman	2	345	Jan 30, 2013 by Temple
	Worried about my husband... advice? alocholic odouls relapse advice (Preview) My husband and I have been together off and on for the last ten years. I was 14 when we met, he was 18. I have a four year old daughter and I am currently almost six months pregnant with our second little girl. During the beginning stages of our relationship, he was a drinker from the start, but me being so you...	Picksims	8	7516	Jan 30, 2013 by Mattie
	Getting treatment? (Preview) My kids convinced my AH to seek treatment. He is telling all of us that he will do it but only for the kids because mommy won't like me anyway. Why am I letting this bother me? I told him I loved him and that maybe if he can't get help we could call off the divorce. He just keeps saying forget it because you won't...	imom	1	268	Jan 30, 2013 by Too hard
	Getting over it (share) (Preview) Hi everyone, my name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of al-anon. This weekend I was flipping through the TV in an effort to pass the time. I came across a show that profiled aboriginal canadians and some of their struggles. They profiled a comedian by the name of Howie Miller. I had heard of him be...	slogan_jim	3	304	Jan 30, 2013 by Jerry F
	New here (Preview) Hi I am the wife of an alcoholic who is not drinking yet very abusive. Its one of those days, got yelled at at the end of a long tiring day at work. Angry hurting and manipulating husband. Somehow I ahve loved him. Somehow I still do. Yet this is one of thsoe days. Trying to meet my demands at work. Keep my hea...	resilientsparks	2	228	Jan 30, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	Frustrated .. Vent (Preview) First off the whole family is sick, I have the flu and the kids have bacterial ear infections. My son is the worst out of the two of them. He is also running a fever. They are on antibotics. I'm sucking it up. I was informed over this past weekend that SBTAX went to church and he's compelled to tell me he...	Pushka	1	241	Jan 30, 2013 by ilovedogs
	Selfishness and pets (Preview) I have a cat who sometimes decides to pee in places other than the litterbox. I have put up with it for over a year, and done all sorts of things vets and cat people recommended, but nothing stopped it (so please don't turn this into a thread of cat behavior tips... the situation is past that point). I am abs...	atheos	4	469	Jan 30, 2013 by atheos
	Reality Check Needed (Preview) Today i feel better while my love is away in rehab and have had such loving support from this board. (thank you) Because I feel better I find myself glossing over the reality of what happened leading him into rehab and the emotional mess I found myself left to address alone. Now, he and his counselor have...	newwoman	7	451	Jan 30, 2013 by newwoman
	A new start (Preview) I stood up for myself yesterday and am so at peace because of the growth I have found while working the Alanon steps. My AH called and said that he wanted to continue to have a relationship but put many conditions on it. First, we will get divorced. Secondly, we will never live together again. Thir...	cinders	7	341	Jan 29, 2013 by Afraidparent
	New and Overwhelmed (Preview) I never thought my life would end up here. My big plans for the year included 6 half-marathons, starting a business and possibly getting engaged. I knew my BF had a problem with alcohol. He had said he had stopped drinking. A trip to the ER a week ago crashed my world entirely. He's admitting now that he h...	wyndwhsthlr	4	411	Jan 29, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	Wednesday morning meeting - tomorrow (Preview) I won't be able to chair the Wednesday morning meeting. -- Edited by RobinKSC on Tuesday 29th of January 2013 11:35:46 AM	RobinKSC	0	116	Jan 29, 2013 by RobinKSC
	??Books and daily rdgs Resource ?? (Preview) Does anyone kniw if there are any electronic versions of c2c and or other great al anon family support books&if so from where can I download...id like an android version og c2c or similar...any suggestions...thanks	Theoceancalls	4	316	Jan 29, 2013 by Overcome
	I got the job! (Preview) Thank you thank you thank you! Thank you for all your support, and prayers, and kind words. I received a call today, and I have been offered a job with the county; a job that I know I will be great at. A job that I need, and that I am terribly excited about.	stephaniej	16	294	Jan 29, 2013 by pinkchip
	So Angry (Preview) I am so angry with my husband. I came to terms with the fact that he's a functioning alcoholic a few months ago. I've always struggled to really pin down whether or not he was an alcoholic before I found that definition online. Then it all became so clear! But this week was a whole new low. He has this pa...	NewMember	6	400	Jan 29, 2013 by Pushka
	UNCLE! (Preview) I honestly am sitting here in tears. I truly feel like the universe is trying to break me. I can't sell my house because I owe more on it than it's worth, and there are so many things wrong with it...because I trusted my exA to hire competent people to do "upgrades" -- what a joke. I have $100 to m...	rehprof	11	313	Jan 29, 2013 by Breakingfree
	Sweeping my feelings under the rug. Why? (Preview) Do I have the definitive answer to this. No. Do I have ESH and thoughts...always and I often share them (maybe too much lol). I don't think this ESH is so special or so unique but I do think it's probably generic in terms of what is to be gained through alanon and other 12 step programs too. I responded t...	pinkchip	7	361	Jan 29, 2013 by Breakingfree
	A new low (Preview) I shouldn't be suprised anymore by anything my husband says. We are separated and I've been doing a good job the past several days of avoiding communication and focusing on myself. Now he has sucked me back into his sick world and he has me angry and crying over his cruel comments. After he continued to r...	scaredandconfused	9	394	Jan 29, 2013 by Jerry F
	Email sent to all members... (Preview) Hello Everyone! You are receiving this email as a registered member on the MIP Al-Anon Message Board at http://alanon.activeboard.com. I try to truly minimize the number of emails I send out to the members each year. Usually it does not exceed 3 per year, so please take a few moments of your time to r...	John	2	423	Jan 29, 2013 by f2fmember
	winter fall but I am OK (Preview) I fell today on ice & snow. But I am a trooper; I got up & trudged on. I don't think I am hurt that bad but I think that I have prayers going out for me just in case. I am so glad that I didn't feel like crying. I laughed it off w/ my husband on the phone. Another day in the small town. I have to admit that I lov...	Hoot Nanny	2	188	Jan 29, 2013 by Annie1234
	it isn't all about me anymore (Preview) I still sometimes think it is all about me but after 27 years in the program, it is getting to be more about YOU! I have been able to get out of my world into helping others more. What a concept? I am so grateful for the years I have been on here. I have shared all kinds of emotions & experiences that I proba...	Hoot Nanny	3	249	Jan 28, 2013 by Annie1234
	Son update! (Preview) It's been of some comfort to know my sister inlaw has allowed him to use her sofa to sleep on this last two weeks, but things have been getting worse she can't afford to keep him for free and had asked him for some board money, he has complained he doesn't get fed well and she treats her cats better, I have sta...	Katy	7	307	Jan 28, 2013 by Katy
	emotional abuse and recovery: HELP! (Preview) I need your help or advise. it has now become clear to me that I have been massively emotionally abused. one thing now is to forgive myself for not having removed myself from this situation earlier. But i still think i did best with what i knew at the time. the other thing is to not obsess anymore about the p...	tortuga	10	376	Jan 28, 2013 by milkwood
	alchol poisoning risk (Preview) How to you deal with an AH who comes in so intoxicated that he starts frying something , passes out and doesn't even hear the fire alarm? Passes out with food in his mouth. Lets the dogs outside and passes out and forgets them in the freesing cold. If I didn't have to work I could stay up, but I do have to work...	tnmom	6	497	Jan 28, 2013 by maryjane
	I want to hide; a clue I need a meeting (Preview) I am angry tonight and don't want to admit it to anyone, which is why I am admitting it here. It is a clue that I want to hide out. When I want to hide, it is best to get myself to an al anon meeting asap. I am angry at 3 of my 4 adult children...all have addictions to substances. Two owe us money and 1 exposes...	PP	3	278	Jan 28, 2013 by PP
	This might be it.what now pls respond Help. Overwhelmed.done (Preview) Well. The may be the last straw. My ah of 15yrs came home having had a few....early though I was just getting 8yo to bed. It was clear he was agitated and I tried to stay low ....nothing worked. First he went off on ploitics...rage. Then it turned on me...i didnt react right so..."youre s***, and fu....	Theoceancalls	22	630	Jan 28, 2013 by newwoman
	Confused (Preview) My A is soon to be 53 years old, a smoker and recovered heroin addict from before I knew him. He's been drinking since he was a child (abstinence for years because of a prison stint) and the past three years I just found out he's been smoking crack. I thought he stopped the crack 2 years ago, but he didn't....	Fool4You	5	251	Jan 28, 2013 by Fool4You
	Am I detached or disgusted? (Preview) So lately I found myself really not paying much attention to my AH. I cannot figure out if its my way of detaching or if I just cannot stand him anymore. I really try not to be rude because I don't want to be that way, but sometimes I just cannot help but be disgusted by him.	imom	12	609	Jan 28, 2013 by Theoceancalls
	Birth of a Moniker (Preview) We were watching Lord of the Rings, Part Two, Extended Version (highly recommended to those who like LOTR) and I saw the scene that birthed my MIP Nickname. Arwen is giving Aragorn this silver jewelry thing, he tries to get her to take it back, not give it, and she tells him it is hers to give, like my heart...	likemyheart	7	270	Jan 28, 2013 by pinkchip
	Request Made to Visit Him in Rehab (Preview) The request has been made by my love (who is in rehab) and the counselor to come for an hour visit in two weeks. HELP!!!! My feelings about this are running amuck. Yes, I want to see him. But I am JUST now starting to get myself pulled somewhat together after the mess I found myself in when he left for rehab....	newwoman	6	259	Jan 27, 2013 by hopeful4ever
	Did I think this would ever happen ( No ) (Preview) Hi EveryoneIn the 3 short months I have been on MIP with all the support and encouragement I have received, I have come a long way. I have learned to detach more and more every day. What I might or might not have done in my past cant be changed, but Im learning to except it, forgive, and move on to have a bet...	Cathyinaz	5	342	Jan 27, 2013 by Pushka
	Lessons to be learned (Preview) Well, I've been in therapy for almost 3 years now. I know I'm co-dependent and working on that. I'm working on myself and self-esteem as a result of the abuse, chaos and trauma too. I am divorced and have been dating - here and there. So, I finally catch a break and meet a nice guy. I mean nice guy. Par...	abbyalana	2	233	Jan 27, 2013 by el-cee
	Heard a good message today and wanted to share (Preview) Every moment you spend upset, despaired, anguished, angry or hurt because of the behavior of anyone else in your life, is a moment in which you've given up control of your life.	Magster	4	323	Jan 27, 2013 by Jerry F
	As time goes on (Preview) Just a little note to share. When I first started alanon i was truely going to get my AH "fixed" was pretty sure they would have all the answers to fix him. When I went to my first meeting and was in total shock that they expected me, of all people, to do the same steps my sick AH had to do. I am ve...	1976love	2	267	Jan 27, 2013 by Jerry F
	My Son (Preview) My son has a drug problem. It has been going on for years and last week we had an intervention with him. He did admit he has a problem and he was willing to get help. He is now in a rehab center. I never thought I would have to go through any of this but I am sure we all thought that. I am asking for understand and h...	Dee3	4	271	Jan 27, 2013 by Courage
	Step 8 has been posted to the Step Work Board (Preview) IN ALANON WE BELIEVE LIFE IS FOR GROWTH-PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUALSTEP 8 MADE A LIST OF ALL PERSONS WE HAVE HARMED AND BECAME willing to make amends to them allPlease join us and share your eSHhttp://stepwork.activeboard.com/t52406122/step-8-alanon/	hotrod	0	197	Jan 26, 2013 by hotrod
	Since becoming single my new love is food. (Preview) I am really struggling with my eating right now and am gaining weight. Last time I became single I lost weight and worked out a lot. Now I am in school sitting in class and studying a lot 5 classes right now 2 of which are twice a week, with 2 kids and work on the weekends I have really turned to food. I am not lo...	Breakingfree	2	301	Jan 26, 2013 by tiredtonite
	feeling sick thinking (Preview) I'm just not feeling my program tonight. My son who still hasn't moved out of course I still don't have the courage. Had a row with him completely reacted, I'm obviously resentful over what happened at the weekend and let go Of my anger, I'm still angry, he's out tonight and I feel like not letting him ba...	el-cee	1	294	Jan 26, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Detatchment during abusiveness is hard. (Preview) I kicked my A son out of the home over 2 months ago. This past week he calls and says that he "needs money for groceries" and that he needs to see a doctor. I went and picked him up and took him to the ER and paid for his medications when he was released. He was smart mouthed and rude to me several ti...	sheristeele	10	351	Jan 26, 2013 by likemyheart
	Newly Seeking Peace (Preview) It is difficult to write about something that has affected me my entire life yet have never really spoken to anyone about. I started to write this several times, but it keeps spinning out of control. So, I will try one more time to write just enough to get my story across. It will likely be hard to follow. I...	militantsparrow	6	316	Jan 26, 2013 by militantsparrow
	Calling her out (Preview) My A is trying to quit drinking. However many times she has tried to fool me and she is clearly drunk or at least buzzed. she repeats herself a lot when is buzzed. Clear give away. Anyway should I not call her out on it ? Should I just keep to myself ? I don't want to accuse her but then again I want to know and her...	Keaghan	8	565	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	In the bedroom with the A (Preview) I know this topic has probably been started before, but I had a tough time the other night...my AH was drinking and yelling at the kids and on and on, the typical chaos on a worknight (a worknight for me at least), and I wound up putting both children to bed, usually if AH is not picking a fight with me, he hel...	Minaret	12	606	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	New here. Married 3 years and just discovered last fall that my husband is an alcoholic. (Preview) Hi there. I had known my husband for almost six years. We got married in 2009. I discovered last fall that he had a drinking problem because he got arrested for OWI and he had a blood alcohol level of .352! Of course, I couldn't find him that night and after calling numerous police stations and area hospi...	LetDownandLost	3	313	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	Police won't help! (Preview) I'm posting this because it's important for all of us as enablers to know! Once you have allowed your A friend or family member establish their "residence" with you, you can NOT force them to leave without officially evicting them. That can be a long drawn out process, it will also require y...	Mommamimi	10	345	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	Is it a Choice??? (Preview) Why am I still having such a hard time realizing that NOTHING I do is going to make a difference? Believe me, I have tried it all - drill seargent, supportive wife, nurse and in the end, separated myself from the situation but still, he tries and fails. Part of me feels so sad for him when I see how insec...	WornOutMrsFixIt	12	526	Jan 26, 2013 by orchidlover
	Quick question (Preview) My AH claims he has been told and has read a lot of research about how a small percentage of people cannot ever be helped by recovery programs ( I.e. rehab and aa). Has anyone come across this research or is this just another one of his lame excuses to avoid recovery?	imom	10	308	Jan 26, 2013 by Aloha
	How Can You Still Love an AH, ABF When... (Preview) They abuse you physically, and verbally, uses you, doesnt agree with you, hates you, takes advantage of you, manipulates you abuse your children etc. etc.? I am not sure I understand this, are people that instantly forgiving or what is it. I am sincere about this question. Please shed some light on th...	oldergal	7	346	Jan 25, 2013 by Zimmy
	New here... new to alanon. (Preview) I am new to the idea of Al-Anon. My mother has suggested that I go. My partner of the last 4 years is an alcoholic. We have had numerous arguements.. lately things have gotten physical. Today I came home from work and he was stumbling and intoxicated. This just 1 1/2 weeks after he drug me across the h...	motherof5	6	239	Jan 25, 2013 by motherof5
	Tough to figure (Preview) My wife is an A. She is going to a psycholgist now and I thought she would be getting better. However things have changed. At first she was definitely sober. Maybe the first month. Now although she appears sober, something is clearly up. It's like instead of drinking a ton she now measures and knows just...	Keaghan	1	259	Jan 25, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Ok HP you got the reigns this time (Preview) 6 years of abuse my kids have endured may be ending with a bang. Unfortunately I have to go through the same scrutiny as well. A therapist for my middle son who lives with his great aunt called CPS. Unfortunately the manner the "data" was presented makes it sound like I knew they were going...	AStrongerMe	4	222	Jan 25, 2013 by Ebunny59
	Email Sent to daughter-22 yrs old-sinking (Preview) After hearing my daughter be drunk again this weekend and learning she was fighting with her one last friend whose been there for her since they were in the 1st grade, I decided to send this email to her. I probably shouldn't have as her replies were spewing hatred to me afterward. She threatened to wr...	Afraidparent	2	363	Jan 25, 2013 by WornOutMrsFixIt
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.