The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been working hard on my program but I'm missing my son. He knows not to call me if he's been drinking and if he isn't he is upset I'm guessing. I don't know but I'm sad and a little depressed.
I just miss him and I'm hurting inside right now
I guess I'm in need of a hug.....
-- Edited by Cathyinaz on Thursday 17th of January 2013 04:49:20 PM
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
I know you must miss the sweet boy that he can be, but you probably don't miss the chaos that the alcoholism brings. I had to remind myself of that when my yearning got too bad. Of course when the chaos recedes we are more fully able to feel the grief. Take very good care of yourself.
I am sorry you are missing your son and I am giving you a virtual hug. As a mother of four adult children, I know your pain. In addition to the sadness and depression, I often felt fear....my mind would go into cuckoo fear. Now when I go into cuckoo fear, I will read some al anon literature, read these posts, go to a meeting or talk to a person who knows recovery. Sometimes I will sit quietly with a cup of coffee and listen to God.
I am so sorry you are feeling sad. I remember last year I went thru a time when I just realized that my sweet son was gone....all the dreams and hopes I had for him were never going to come true. I had a sort of funeral for those feelings....I went around sad and mopping because I had come to the realization that my son was not going to lead the life I had hoped for and dreamed of when he was a young and innocent child.
And deep down inside now I just wish I could see him sincerely smile and not have the weight of the world on his shoulders. And just enjoy the simple things of life. Be free of addictions and just manage a few ordinary things that a young man should be doing. He was a gifted student, a great hockey player, a snowboarder, one of the widiest funniest kids....I miss my son too.
In support, Oldergal
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Don't Worry About Growing Old, It Is A Privilege For Some Of Us.....
I get it too..it's missing who you thought he would be and now learning to accept and love him for who he is, and the path he has chosen for himself. So So difficult...it's hard to be a mother....yet I amsure most of us would not have missed it for the world....
My son and I 'separated' January 4 due to his behaviors. He is not allowed back home without a return to Rehab. I have continued a sort of communication with him through occasional texts. Just simple things like "remember your sister's birthday" or "Just want to tell you that I love you, kiddo". He sends kind words back. I like maintaining contact at this level. Of course when he texts that he is 'on the straight and narrow' and such, I just ignore it or reply that I don't believe it but do love him. We do not talk about his social life or addictions.
It seems to work for us but what does the group think of this? Is this a bad thing in the long run?
