Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Stages of Co-Alcoholism
Post Info TOPIC: Stages of Co-Alcoholism
Tracey C


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 118
Date:
Stages of Co-Alcoholism
Permalink  

Hi

I found this the other night and it was really interesting to see how my behaviour related with the alcoholics.  This may interest some of you too:

 

Stage 0:

             Alcoholic Characteristics:  Non-drinker, No alcoholic behaviour or symptoms.

 

            Co-Alcoholic Characteristics:  No co-alcoholic behaviour or symptoms.

 

 

Stage 1:

              Alcoholic Characteristics:   Social drinking.  Up to one or two drinks per day routinely, depending on body mass, with               no alcoholic behaviour.

 

              Co-Alcoholic Characteristics:  No co-alcoholic behaviour or symptoms.

 

 

Stage 2:

             Alcoholic Characteristics:  Non-social drinking to reduce stress or tension.  The first signs of alcoholic behaviour begin              to appear:  an urgent need for the first drink of the day, more than one or two drinks per day on a routine basis.

 

            Co-Alcoholic Characteristics:  Denial.  Little recognition of any potential problems.  Tells lies to self and others about               their loved ones drinking.  Early stages of co-dependency manifest.

 

 

Stage 3: 

              Alcoholic Characteristics:  Frequent relief drinking to escape stress.  More alcoholic behaviour manifests:  relief                       drinking most days to escape something, feelings of guilt about drinking, needing more drinks to get the desired                     result.

 

             Co-Alcoholic Characteristics:  Denies feelings.  Beginning to enable drinking behaviour by taking on some of the                      alcoholic's responsibilities.  Tries to control the alcoholic's drinking.  Becomes more judgmental.

 

Stage 4.

             Alcoholic Characteristics:  Routine daily drinking to excess.  Significant alcoholic behaviour and symptoms manifest:                  memory blackouts, hidden drinking.

 

             Co-Alcoholic Characteristics:  Recognition that there may be a problem.  Taking on more of the alcoholic's                                responsibilities.  Enabling behaviour escalates.  Making amends to others for the alcoholic's behaviour.

 

 

Stage 5.  

             Alcoholic Characteristics:  Alcohol dependence.  A wide range of additional alcoholic behaviours and symptoms                        manifest:  more frequent memory blackouts, true dependence on alcohol, finding excuses to drink, unwilling to                        discuss the problem, dramatic mood and behaviour changes, continues to drink when others have stopped,                            repeatedly fails to follow through on commitments, tells lies, avoids family and friends, finds non-drinkers boring,                    difficulty keeping a job or managing money.

 

             Co-Alcoholic Characteristics:  Acceptance that there is a problem.  Family life is strained.  Unable to handle all of the                alcoholic's responsibilities.  Feelings of inferiority, depression, anger and sadness.  Becoming very negative about                  their life.  Money problems.

 

 

Stage 6:

             Alcoholic Characteristics:  End stage alcoholism.  Obsessed with drinking, seldom eats, stays drunk for long periods                of time, increasingly amoral behaviour, health deteriorates, highly resentful of anything or anybody that interferes                  with their drinking, excessively emotional.

 

             Co-Alcoholic Characteristics:  Hopelessness; depression; fear; anger; emotional storms; surrender.

 

 

Stage 7:

             Alcoholic Charasteristics:  Death

 

             Co-Alcoholic Characteristics:  Sadness; anger; relief.

 

 

 

 

Tracey

 

 

 

 

 

 

             



-- Edited by Tracey C on Tuesday 22nd of January 2013 01:24:53 AM

__________________
pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5663
Date:
Permalink  

Seems pretty accurate.

__________________
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17196
Date:
Permalink  

Hi Tracy 

 It does seem very accurate and very sad.   I think that it is extremely important to realize that we are not condemned to react this way forever.    There is help and hope. 

I Like to Read "The Promises of Alanon" that is a Sticky byTigger.

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t52247626/the-promises-of-alanon/

This Board as well as Alanon is a great examples of Miracles in Progress



__________________
Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Sweet Stanley


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 604
Date:
Permalink  

I pretty much agree with your post.... except the last one.

If the A gets help, it doesn't have to be death.

If we find Alanon early on... it doesn't have to be just anger, sadness, and relief.

Good post... really makes you think.



__________________
Sweet Stanley
Green Eyes


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 661
Date:
Permalink  

Sadly, my AH and I reached Stage 7 two weeks ago. I am so thankful to have my Al-Anon tools to help me find the relief I so much want to have in my life right now.

__________________
xeno59


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1138
Date:
Permalink  

Interesting take on Alcoholism/addiction and surely makes a lot of good and accurate points. But I don't think it tells the whole story. As this disease is cunning & baffling I am not sure anyone can tell a whole accurate broad point of view. Alcoholics are unique beings and their reasoning to take that first drink or to continue to drink can and does very from person to person but the behaviors are not unique once they have become alcoholics/addicts. I often wonder what drew my son into the world of drugs, no one can tell me that. I am not sure he knows. He wasn't raised by A parents, he believed in himself and that he could do great things in his life, we had a very loving supportive little family. And something took that away from him. Genetics? A trauma we may not know about? Just no answers there. And it doesn't take recovery into effect, the possible recovery of the alcoholic or the co alcoholic which I have been privileged to see in many of my family members unfortunately not all.
reading your post really took me back to the beginning of my own recovery and all the questions I had back then, that now still come back when I read or hear something very thought provoking. Thanks for the post

__________________
el-cee


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5075
Date:
Permalink  

Wow, this looks like my life up until I left. It's really quite sad to see the whole thing written like this. It seems so simple and obvious in a way and yet when you live with it you can't see the woods for the trees. I feel like I have woken up from a long sleep and I can finally see clearly now. I wish my ex would too but sadly he keeps going in and out of that stage 6. Well its his business and his choice. I know I will never allow myself to be part of this story again, with the help of Alanon that is.x



__________________
orchidlover


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1036
Date:
Permalink  

I believe I learned co dependence as a child in order to survive.  Generally there is a certainity that when I am around alcoholics and addicts it gets worse but nevertheless with or without an alcoholic I can be people pleasing, controlling and resentful all on my own!

Maresie.



__________________
orchid lover
KennyFenderjazz


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1896
Date:
Permalink  

If I could have recognized these symptoms before, my life might be somewhat happier right now. Even though it's not accurate down to details, from a broad brush strokes perspective this is spot on!


Kenny

__________________
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Stages of Co-Alcoholism