The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been doing very good lately, Now today I get my phone and look at my emails and BOOM...there is one from my son. I go into panic mode. I open it and he is asking me about my new car and why I didn't send him any pics yet....I told him I would. I replied with I forgot and will as soon as I get it washed...lol. I live down a dirt road and my cars are never clean.
OK....what's with this panic mode I go into....I thought I was doing good. Nothing happened...he doesn't have a crisis....he's OK....being nice. I feel bad I don't contact him at all.
I know he's opnly asking is because he's always wanted me to have a really nice car and I finally got one.
I don't know....I'm always going be in fear I guess.
Oh well.....off to a meeting.
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Lord, put your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth
Speak only when you feel that your words are better than your silence.
You won't always be in fear however I understand the instant panic that comes with contact expecting the worse. It will get easier just be gentle with you.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
You have a son with a serious substance abuse problem. Detaching is great. You have been doing great, but be realistic. Cut yourself some slack. You are gonna worry some if and until he shows he is stable. You just are not letting him dominate your whole life anymore.
I have been living in fear of every phone call every letter and, anyone coming to our door, i am a huge worrier anyways, I have been full of dread before I even knew who was calling or knocking or writing, I had got the mind set of always dreading the worse, so thats one of my problems, the other is contact with my son, I have had none, i do pray though, through out the day that god will look after him and keep him safe, I would love to contact him daily and wish him well but I am frightened he might take that as a sign I am weakening and work on me to come back home, if I saw him though, face to face I would be over the moon to see him, we could exchange words and I would tell him I loved him and wish him well and be alright with that, I am not so good with emails and texts, I think I would want a responce from him that he acknowledged me and if there was nothing I would go into worry over drive, however if he contacted me like yours has done I would be over the moon, I would view this as progress, and showing care for you, your doing great.
You are a Mom, and he is your son. Your reaction is natural, based on past experience. I hope and pray for a day when he is healthier, and your reaction is one of excitement instead of panic.
