Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hi I'm ok I'm alive and still a co dependent. I know what needs to change and it to much . To many sub selfs to deal with multiply emotions with there own fears and I can assure you my name is rosemary and not Sybil . My new onset of why I do what I do . Never new why had no clue I have no leader in my pack (in me ) I have s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

~Right now my program is strong and it is helping me deal with people left and right in the middle of my stressful schedule with school, work and my kids. I am dealing with a woman in my nursing program and at first I struggled, but then I remembered to dettach to QTIP and that what she had to say said volume...

Tasha · Tasha

Me????? Can't be!!! Lol. I'm the one whos worked(ing) the steps!!! Not him. He just hangs out at meetings.... Look who is judging him for judging me lolol! Maybe... just maybe i have stuff to learn.. um yes. Hp knows when i need a boost in an area and gives me lessons and growth opportunities g...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

On Friday my mother who is getting sicker now with each passing month and who won't go to Alanon or ACOA or even therapy, emailed me to cheerily say my brother and his girlfriend want my parents to visit for the weekend. My brother has been omitting me from all plans for the past few years which is unfair to...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I am new here and to all of this. Although I have learned a lot in the 7 last months (even if I didnt want to) it is all so over whelming and not sure I can handle it. So many questions still. I hope this make sense, cried the whole time..... Sorry so long but I want to share. My story: I am 43 and he is 40. I met my b...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I have heard this before from people who have gone and maybe it is our area in Rochester (not to put AA down at all). But Monday he cried so hard at our last therapy apt and just yelled out AA makes me want to drink!!!!! And that is makes him feel worse and he walked out. And we were not even talking about his D...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Something funny happen yesterday and wanted to share it. I decided to join the recovering abf for a walk around a lake in the drizzling rain. He asked if we could bring our program books and read them afterwards in the car. He said he just wasn't in a good place. He bagged eight books and brought them...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have a lot of projects that I need to complete or at least attempt. I am a procrastinator as my husband points out. We are working together to put up my swing. It has been a challenge but it is possible. I spent yesterday after trying to assemble the swing, working diligently in my back room. I found thing...

Gaby · Gaby

Hi there all.. I left on Saturday to go be with him for the weekend. Well on my way my phone rings from the area code he was at. I found it weird that he was calling me before the time he is allowed, but I answered and he said mom I'm ready to go home. I worked through my 5th step and I need to start living my life as I...

Nightingale · Nightingale

I'm wondering if there is anyone else out there living with a sober spouse with bipolar disorder. My A has been sober for 10 years and we have been together on and off for 5 1/2 years, living together for 1 year. He's a wonderful person and I want him in my life forever but when these episodes hit...and we ar...

mm830 · mm830

I would like to apologize to the moderator of the online meeting this evening, I was trying to share earlier and the A came home and was ringing the doorbell, stinking drunk but he is ok, safe. Thank you all very much for the support today.

PP · PP

I have been with my sponsor for about 4 1/2 years. The relationship no longer feels like a good fit, yet I am not sure if saying that it no longer is working for me is the best way to end it. It is the truth, though. I want to acknowledge her for her service and companionship, then wish her well. Any feedba...

joker · joker

I know that being in the present moment is what I need to do but for the past few days I have been worried about my exbf, the active alcoholic. I have been thinking about him a lot again, for no reason, maybe because I am living alone and have no bf present in my life, nor am I dating. The ex was the one that...

bijela · bijela

I miss my boyfriend so much. =( I know that he has a lot of problems with alcohol. His sister is just so combative. She was was the one that was a bigger problem than he is. :( If he left all the crap in Indy, maybe he'd have a better chance. His other sister left the state to get away from their crazy family. She...

mm830 · mm830

I haven't posted in a while. The A has been so nice lately, things have been going well, he has been really the SO I would want to have. But I hurt so much from so much past stuff, and I did something stupid and lashed out so, so bad at him. I just hurt so much in every way. I don't think we will ever speak again. Ma...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

This is one thing I wanted to work on, mostly because I had no idea what people were talking about. I actually had to go looking for examples of boundaries because I couldn't figure it out. Now that I know, I wanted to start small. Here's what I came up with: 1. I will not keep waiting, or I will go out and e...

Heronbeach · Heronbeach

Are you sell intimate when you detach from your Alcoholic? I'm assuming this isn't a good idea, but its hard because where very strong and passionate in our intimacy.

Rose50 · Rose50

My son called me this afternoon. He's been profoundly depressed and had checked himself into a mental health facility last week. He spent a few days there. Told me he will be calling his doctor tomorrow morning to try to get an appointment as soon as possible as he realizes that he needs to see a therapis...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Last week, the A announced to me that I should keep Saturday free, as he was planning "something special". Sadly, this made me uneasy. I know when he "plans something nice", he usually gets very drunk and sabotages it and then blames me for ruining it somehow. In reality we have...

abbyalana · abbyalana

So, since the divorce I have generally zero contact with the A. BUT I am not able to fully detach because we share a child. Or maybe it's not detachment, maybe I am doing that and it's something else. Anyways, here's my thoughts and maybe you can help me wrap my mind around them. The A was abusive (stil...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Detaching with love from the effects of alcoholism. This was one of the topics that was being shared at tonight's MIP meeting. I arrived late so didn't get to take part in most of the meeting, but the underlined part really gave me pause. Thinking of detaching from the effects instead of from the A...

el-cee · el-cee

I think of compassion for the alcoholic in my life like a gauge on where I am in my recovery. Lately, my gauge is running on empty. Even to think of my ex ah my face screws up and I feel nothing but hatred for him. When I first got into recovery, I still had some contact with my ex and I found compassion after a fe...

Lyne · Lyne

Thank you all who responded to my last post. You get where I am at this point. I am aware that my A is in recovery for me. She has stopped drinking and is trying a food plan. She has lost a couple pounds. My hope is that if she keeps going to meetings and talking to her sponsor, it is possible that somethin...

Rose50 · Rose50

I had an email from my son this morning. He wrote that he's doing fine and hoped my job interview went well. That was it. Nothing about paying me back the money I loaned him as he promised he would. I don't necessarily believe that he's doing well as he tends to say this so I won't worry. I know there isn't any...

Tasha · Tasha

I have asked to be sat next to many times. I ask - and leave the results to God. My husband continues to be emotionally unavailable and selfish at times, and I take care of me anyway. Tonight - we had the kids off to Grandma and Grandpa's for a night of camping. Most of the day was spent picking up my siste...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

so, after months of working really hard on myself and detaching from my ah, i lost it tonight. since last friday my husb has been out drinking four out of seven nites and useless on the other three. so tonight whn he annc once again he wouldnt be home, i cried. i feel lousy as work has been tough and im gettin...

bijela · bijela

I tend to cave under pressure and do that "go along to get along" thing with usually disasterous results. How do you fix that? How do you get strong, good boundaries where you can say what you want to say without being scared? I know that I did that with my boyfriend. He is actually pissed at me...

bijela · bijela

I always feel like every problem in relationships are my fault. I feel terribly guilty for moving out of my boyfriend's house. He lives there with his sister and they are both drinkers. His sister is a mean drunk and has attacked me a few times. When I packed up my stuff and left, he was sobbing. I felt so ho...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, my A slept almost all day today, and I was trying to figure out why it bothered me so much. He wasn't drunk, hasn't had a drop all day to my knowledge, he's just been sleeping. Why on earth would I be annoyed that he was asleep? I've had lazy days when I just veg'd out in front of the stupid box all day, wh...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The cruise went well. It rained but didn't really affect the outcome. I am just grateful that about 100 recovering people were there anyway. I was informed that I couldn't even mention anything about it on any form of public media. I thought I could casually mention it but I can't even post a picture tha...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, lost my conection with my HP for a day or two, I forgot he had my back. and guess what my sponsee rang aand what I needed to suggest was TRUST IN HP 1st sign. Then I went to my meeting this morning and the topic was FAITH 2nd sign. So praying contecting trusting all will be fine HP can see round corners. ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Why I say I'm not moving forward like I should is because I realize just this hour that I think something happened......and IT"S CRAZY My son has been sending a email every day telling me about his progress. He has a one hour privilege for internet by his counselor. Today he didn't email and I am...

Lyne · Lyne

I miss this board and will write as often as I can. Today I have some extra time and am checking in with you guys before getting lost in the day. I have been through some ups and downs lately-90 yr old mother not doing well, car accident (I'm fine as HP was in my passenger seat), work stress, home construct...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Ever since coming to Al-Anon, I find I have been more accepting of life. Accepting of myself, accepting of my feelings, accepting of situations around me that are out of my control. I used to try and convince myself and pretend tha...

bijela · bijela

I have known my boyfriend since middle school. We were friends thoughout the years. We hit it off more recently and became a couple. I should have known better not to fall in love and pursue a relationship with him. Both of us were of the grunge band stoner crew back in the day. I had problems with pills a...

tortuga · tortuga

Step 1: I walk on a pathway, and I stumble over and fall into a hole in front of me i didn't see. I fall inside, and due to my deep wounds, i die inside, impossible to get out, helpless, not able to scream for help. Step 2: I walk on a pathway, I fall into a hole in front of me, as I'm down there I curse the world a...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

I've been away for awhile, trying to get everything straight. My alcoholic husband quit drinking for several months, we bought our first house, and have been working on renovations. I also went to therapy to help with my co-dependency issues. Things were going ok. I found a bottle the other day. ...

phoenixmagicgirl · phoenixmagicgirl

scaredSo after much deliberation I've decided to go see a therapist again to deal with my AM's drinking and to gain more self confidence (the two not being related). The last time I did this was 5 years ago when I was in college in upstate PA..I dealt with my issues regarding AB ( who was drinking at the tim...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Oh boy !! Some ppl told me I was a double winner I was like what's . They said you have brains and beauty use them!! I noticed I do a lot of my powerful positive posting when I'm in the cemetery . When I'm lost the cemetery is where I walk to find myself and clear my head. I think what I love the most about the cemet...

mongowal · mongowal

My husband left me telling me that every time he looks at me he wants to hurt me (mentally he has never physically hurt me). He said he finally realized that everything I have told him over the last few months like leaving the room when I walk in, belittling me and false accusations he was intentionally do...

hotrod · hotrod

http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55156986/alnon-step-2/

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

so, i havent been on the boards lately to post, but ive been reading. so much of what we post and share out speaks volumes as to the depth this disease can go to do harm. ive returned back to work after the summer break onky to be crazy busy and tired and yes, raising a child and living with an active alcoholic...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

My quick must share beautiful moment son had regarding serenity having been an alcoholic and an addict for nearly half of his life he finally made it to rehab nearly two years ago now and is studying to be a counselor, kid you not well he finally got a job in a rehab while he finishes his sc...

neshema2 · neshema2

gotta Laugh at this one......Cousin arrived in town Tues......Haven't heard from her until todayshe slept all day Wed....Understandable....tiredyesterday she checked up on her rental house in my town....tenents are leaving and behind on rent.....understandable, I would want to be on top of t...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well this past 2 nights I have been working step 7.......asking creator, Great Spirit to remove this awful defect of mine called ill will, resentment and anger towards a LIST of folksI have been angry at Creator for not helping me meet my needs better.....even tho I believe creator only works in the sp...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Recently my sister-in-law lost her mother. I really don't know what to say to her or my brother. It is awful to not be there & help her through this. She is such a sweet soul. Her mom was a gem. I am stuck in shock even though we knew this was coming. Her mom has been sick & in the hospital numerous time...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

I have to say that I really like the advantages of that. I just included my brother in a response to someone's post and vallah after three months of not hearing a peep from him, he texts me bright and early this morning shortly after I posted here. I'm sad at the condition of our relationship but glad to...

Jerry F · Jerry F

Just recently got home from introducing the program to the families of clients of a local rehab and of course to the counseling staff. My partner in it is a member who has recent time and the willingness to grow and experience as a teacher. If you have never ever intoduced the program to a whole bunch...

gofred123 · gofred123

I received many nice responses from my post and left my last statement that I was going to support my wife in any decision she decides to follow. Well I have. I retuned to aa to continue the 12-steps program, have come to some peace with my self in supporting my wife's recovery that will continue in anoth...

Mari1978 · Mari1978

When you walk through a storm hold your head up high And don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of a storm is a golden sky And the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain, Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart And you'll nev...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

I want to start by saying I am grateful for MIP being here for me For some reason I have no ESH for myself or anyone else right now. I'm like frozen in time. I'm not sad but I'm not happy. Not sure if it's fear or worry. I'm just not myself. I think about what is going on and I do think it might be because I w...

sweeetr · sweeetr

Ive been praying about my daughter (23yrs old) being attracted to the same alcoholic/addict type ppl I have all my yrs... Her dad (my ex ) is a A and my current husband is a A. Im stepping back and trying to let her learn for own self. Shes def is learning the hard way. And Her grandma spoke with me about us be...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

Courage to Change has been a helpful part of my recovery. I have a really bad memory but I know today's reading is a good one. I will probably read it again because I tend to forget almost every thing I read that can be important. Sometimes I would rather read light reading because I am in the moment & do...

rehprof · rehprof

You know you are codependent when you feel guilty driving by a hitchhiker. ..

abusedwife · abusedwife

I have been with my husband for over 8 years. When I finally agreed to marry him it was truly because I was pregnant. We are from a small town and the Lord forbid if we weren't married or if he was going to have a child born based on the help of the system. Things were really great for the duration of the pre...

tortuga · tortuga

.... or so I am thinking right now. that's the deep source of most of my issues with life. The A is just one trigger that pushed this to the limit and this pointed it out to me. But the problem is mine I have to admit. FOCUS. what a small word with such big importance. What brought since i can remember diffic...

MeTwo2 · MeTwo2

Just am lonely tonight. Doesn't matter who I'm around yet as I type this I realize right now that with other alanon members, the lonliness is much more bearable .. Had an epiphany though and recognizing this is truly part of my own personal acceptance process .. darkest before dawn as usual .. Would li...

neshema2 · neshema2

Daughter #2 tried me AGAIN!!! ....I told you all about the "dinner" she stood me up on about 2-3 weeks ago and didn't even apologize for it and that it was something she INSISTED upon....a "mom and daughter dinner" HER idea...And she pulled the head games on me again, ...and h...

Heronbeach · Heronbeach

My BF is an alcoholic/addict. Right now he is using but had a 5 month sober period. He says I'm never happy, even when he was sober he says I was never satisfied. Is this uncommon? I feel as though he may be right....he is drinking and using I'm enraged. If he is sober then I always figure he will mess it up any...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Question (Preview) Hi I'm ok I'm alive and still a co dependent. I know what needs to change and it to much . To many sub selfs to deal with multiply emotions with there own fears and I can assure you my name is rosemary and not Sybil . My new onset of why I do what I do . Never new why had no clue I have no leader in my pack (in me ) I have s...	Ms co-dependent	12	496	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	So glad I have al-anon and know how to dettach and have boundaries (Preview) ~Right now my program is strong and it is helping me deal with people left and right in the middle of my stressful schedule with school, work and my kids. I am dealing with a woman in my nursing program and at first I struggled, but then I remembered to dettach to QTIP and that what she had to say said volume...	Breakingfree	2	244	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	he told me my alanon recovery sucks!!! (Preview) Me????? Can't be!!! Lol. I'm the one whos worked(ing) the steps!!! Not him. He just hangs out at meetings.... Look who is judging him for judging me lolol! Maybe... just maybe i have stuff to learn.. um yes. Hp knows when i need a boost in an area and gives me lessons and growth opportunities g...	Tasha	10	610	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	Family Explosion (Preview) On Friday my mother who is getting sicker now with each passing month and who won't go to Alanon or ACOA or even therapy, emailed me to cheerily say my brother and his girlfriend want my parents to visit for the weekend. My brother has been omitting me from all plans for the past few years which is unfair to...	WorkingThroughIt	17	601	Oct 8, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	I don't know what to do anymore :( (Preview) I am new here and to all of this. Although I have learned a lot in the 7 last months (even if I didnt want to) it is all so over whelming and not sure I can handle it. So many questions still. I hope this make sense, cried the whole time..... Sorry so long but I want to share. My story: I am 43 and he is 40. I met my b...	Iwantthingsback	10	493	Oct 9, 2013 by abbyal
	Learning ARG (Preview) I have heard this before from people who have gone and maybe it is our area in Rochester (not to put AA down at all). But Monday he cried so hard at our last therapy apt and just yelled out AA makes me want to drink!!!!! And that is makes him feel worse and he walked out. And we were not even talking about his D...	Iwantthingsback	4	331	Oct 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	A god Thing (Preview) Something funny happen yesterday and wanted to share it. I decided to join the recovering abf for a walk around a lake in the drizzling rain. He asked if we could bring our program books and read them afterwards in the car. He said he just wasn't in a good place. He bagged eight books and brought them...	tiredtonite	7	331	Oct 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	projects (Preview) I have a lot of projects that I need to complete or at least attempt. I am a procrastinator as my husband points out. We are working together to put up my swing. It has been a challenge but it is possible. I spent yesterday after trying to assemble the swing, working diligently in my back room. I found thing...	Hoot Nanny	2	221	Oct 8, 2013 by abbyalana
	My son is home.. (Preview) Hi there all.. I left on Saturday to go be with him for the weekend. Well on my way my phone rings from the area code he was at. I found it weird that he was calling me before the time he is allowed, but I answered and he said mom I'm ready to go home. I worked through my 5th step and I need to start living my life as I...	Gaby	12	428	Oct 8, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Bipolar (Preview) I'm wondering if there is anyone else out there living with a sober spouse with bipolar disorder. My A has been sober for 10 years and we have been together on and off for 5 1/2 years, living together for 1 year. He's a wonderful person and I want him in my life forever but when these episodes hit...and we ar...	Nightingale	9	3642	Oct 8, 2013 by sad_dog_mommy
	Apologies to Online Meeting Mods (Preview) I would like to apologize to the moderator of the online meeting this evening, I was trying to share earlier and the A came home and was ringing the doorbell, stinking drunk but he is ok, safe. Thank you all very much for the support today.	mm830	1	257	Oct 8, 2013 by Tigger
	Would like ESH...considering a change in sponsors (Preview) I have been with my sponsor for about 4 1/2 years. The relationship no longer feels like a good fit, yet I am not sure if saying that it no longer is working for me is the best way to end it. It is the truth, though. I want to acknowledge her for her service and companionship, then wish her well. Any feedba...	PP	11	444	Oct 8, 2013 by PP
	worried (Preview) I know that being in the present moment is what I need to do but for the past few days I have been worried about my exbf, the active alcoholic. I have been thinking about him a lot again, for no reason, maybe because I am living alone and have no bf present in my life, nor am I dating. The ex was the one that...	joker	8	408	Oct 8, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I miss him. (Preview) I miss my boyfriend so much. =( I know that he has a lot of problems with alcohol. His sister is just so combative. She was was the one that was a bigger problem than he is. :( If he left all the crap in Indy, maybe he'd have a better chance. His other sister left the state to get away from their crazy family. She...	bijela	11	506	Oct 8, 2013 by abell
	I was so mean :( (Preview) I haven't posted in a while. The A has been so nice lately, things have been going well, he has been really the SO I would want to have. But I hurt so much from so much past stuff, and I did something stupid and lashed out so, so bad at him. I just hurt so much in every way. I don't think we will ever speak again. Ma...	mm830	19	2724	Oct 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Figuring out boudaries (Preview) This is one thing I wanted to work on, mostly because I had no idea what people were talking about. I actually had to go looking for examples of boundaries because I couldn't figure it out. Now that I know, I wanted to start small. Here's what I came up with: 1. I will not keep waiting, or I will go out and e...	SpiderArcana	2	312	Oct 8, 2013 by PP
	Detaching with love (Preview) Are you sell intimate when you detach from your Alcoholic? I'm assuming this isn't a good idea, but its hard because where very strong and passionate in our intimacy.	Heronbeach	9	819	Oct 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Phone call from son (Preview) My son called me this afternoon. He's been profoundly depressed and had checked himself into a mental health facility last week. He spent a few days there. Told me he will be calling his doctor tomorrow morning to try to get an appointment as soon as possible as he realizes that he needs to see a therapis...	Rose50	6	267	Oct 7, 2013 by Ness
	Everyone is crazy except me..part 2 (Preview) Last week, the A announced to me that I should keep Saturday free, as he was planning "something special". Sadly, this made me uneasy. I know when he "plans something nice", he usually gets very drunk and sabotages it and then blames me for ruining it somehow. In reality we have...	Melly1248	12	505	Oct 7, 2013 by Melly1248
	Detaching and abusive alcoholic (Preview) So, since the divorce I have generally zero contact with the A. BUT I am not able to fully detach because we share a child. Or maybe it's not detachment, maybe I am doing that and it's something else. Anyways, here's my thoughts and maybe you can help me wrap my mind around them. The A was abusive (stil...	abbyalana	3	413	Oct 7, 2013 by neshema2
	Detaching with love from the effects of alcoholism (Preview) Detaching with love from the effects of alcoholism. This was one of the topics that was being shared at tonight's MIP meeting. I arrived late so didn't get to take part in most of the meeting, but the underlined part really gave me pause. Thinking of detaching from the effects instead of from the A...	lgnutah	5	379	Oct 7, 2013 by lgnutah
	Compassion - coming and going. (Preview) I think of compassion for the alcoholic in my life like a gauge on where I am in my recovery. Lately, my gauge is running on empty. Even to think of my ex ah my face screws up and I feel nothing but hatred for him. When I first got into recovery, I still had some contact with my ex and I found compassion after a fe...	el-cee	8	321	Oct 6, 2013 by pinkchip
	Life is for learning (Preview) Thank you all who responded to my last post. You get where I am at this point. I am aware that my A is in recovery for me. She has stopped drinking and is trying a food plan. She has lost a couple pounds. My hope is that if she keeps going to meetings and talking to her sponsor, it is possible that somethin...	Lyne	2	209	Oct 6, 2013 by hotrod
	Son sent me an email (Preview) I had an email from my son this morning. He wrote that he's doing fine and hoped my job interview went well. That was it. Nothing about paying me back the money I loaned him as he promised he would. I don't necessarily believe that he's doing well as he tends to say this so I won't worry. I know there isn't any...	Rose50	10	536	Oct 6, 2013 by Mimi3
	Emotionally unavailable (Preview) I have asked to be sat next to many times. I ask - and leave the results to God. My husband continues to be emotionally unavailable and selfish at times, and I take care of me anyway. Tonight - we had the kids off to Grandma and Grandpa's for a night of camping. Most of the day was spent picking up my siste...	Tasha	8	504	Oct 6, 2013 by PP
	i slipped up. . . (Preview) so, after months of working really hard on myself and detaching from my ah, i lost it tonight. since last friday my husb has been out drinking four out of seven nites and useless on the other three. so tonight whn he annc once again he wouldnt be home, i cried. i feel lousy as work has been tough and im gettin...	Theoceancalls	6	365	Oct 6, 2013 by pinkchip
	Boundaries. How do you get them? (Preview) I tend to cave under pressure and do that "go along to get along" thing with usually disasterous results. How do you fix that? How do you get strong, good boundaries where you can say what you want to say without being scared? I know that I did that with my boyfriend. He is actually pissed at me...	bijela	4	636	Oct 6, 2013 by neshema2
	Why do we blame ourselves for everything? (Preview) I always feel like every problem in relationships are my fault. I feel terribly guilty for moving out of my boyfriend's house. He lives there with his sister and they are both drinkers. His sister is a mean drunk and has attacked me a few times. When I packed up my stuff and left, he was sobbing. I felt so ho...	bijela	8	673	Oct 6, 2013 by neshema2
	something small that opens up a revelation about myself (Preview) So, my A slept almost all day today, and I was trying to figure out why it bothered me so much. He wasn't drunk, hasn't had a drop all day to my knowledge, he's just been sleeping. Why on earth would I be annoyed that he was asleep? I've had lazy days when I just veg'd out in front of the stupid box all day, wh...	SpiderArcana	5	325	Oct 6, 2013 by neshema2
	cruise went well... (Preview) The cruise went well. It rained but didn't really affect the outcome. I am just grateful that about 100 recovering people were there anyway. I was informed that I couldn't even mention anything about it on any form of public media. I thought I could casually mention it but I can't even post a picture tha...	Hoot Nanny	3	308	Oct 6, 2013 by KathieG
	FAITH (Preview) Hi All, lost my conection with my HP for a day or two, I forgot he had my back. and guess what my sponsee rang aand what I needed to suggest was TRUST IN HP 1st sign. Then I went to my meeting this morning and the topic was FAITH 2nd sign. So praying contecting trusting all will be fine HP can see round corners. ...	Tracy	2	228	Oct 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	I don't think I'm moving forward (Preview) Why I say I'm not moving forward like I should is because I realize just this hour that I think something happened......and IT"S CRAZY My son has been sending a email every day telling me about his progress. He has a one hour privilege for internet by his counselor. Today he didn't email and I am...	Cathyinaz	17	541	Oct 5, 2013 by Debilyn
	life (Preview) I miss this board and will write as often as I can. Today I have some extra time and am checking in with you guys before getting lost in the day. I have been through some ups and downs lately-90 yr old mother not doing well, car accident (I'm fine as HP was in my passenger seat), work stress, home construct...	Lyne	4	356	Oct 5, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Acceptance is the key to serenity (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Ever since coming to Al-Anon, I find I have been more accepting of life. Accepting of myself, accepting of my feelings, accepting of situations around me that are out of my control. I used to try and convince myself and pretend tha...	slogan_jim	3	452	Oct 5, 2013 by afglin
	Dealing with so much sadness codependence relationships i should have known better (Preview) I have known my boyfriend since middle school. We were friends thoughout the years. We hit it off more recently and became a couple. I should have known better not to fall in love and pursue a relationship with him. Both of us were of the grunge band stoner crew back in the day. I had problems with pills a...	bijela	5	5969	Oct 4, 2013 by neshema2
	5 steps in recovery: story of falling into a hole. (Preview) Step 1: I walk on a pathway, and I stumble over and fall into a hole in front of me i didn't see. I fall inside, and due to my deep wounds, i die inside, impossible to get out, helpless, not able to scream for help. Step 2: I walk on a pathway, I fall into a hole in front of me, as I'm down there I curse the world a...	tortuga	4	1029	Oct 5, 2013 by neshema2
	Trouble detaching (Preview) I've been away for awhile, trying to get everything straight. My alcoholic husband quit drinking for several months, we bought our first house, and have been working on renovations. I also went to therapy to help with my co-dependency issues. Things were going ok. I found a bottle the other day. ...	SpiderArcana	5	418	Oct 4, 2013 by grateful2be
	Going to see a therapist for the first time in 4 years (Preview) scaredSo after much deliberation I've decided to go see a therapist again to deal with my AM's drinking and to gain more self confidence (the two not being related). The last time I did this was 5 years ago when I was in college in upstate PA..I dealt with my issues regarding AB ( who was drinking at the tim...	phoenixmagicgirl	6	288	Oct 5, 2013 by grateful2be
	I was told I was a double winner (Preview) Oh boy !! Some ppl told me I was a double winner I was like what's . They said you have brains and beauty use them!! I noticed I do a lot of my powerful positive posting when I'm in the cemetery . When I'm lost the cemetery is where I walk to find myself and clear my head. I think what I love the most about the cemet...	Ms co-dependent	8	463	Oct 5, 2013 by Tasha
	Lost (Preview) My husband left me telling me that every time he looks at me he wants to hurt me (mentally he has never physically hurt me). He said he finally realized that everything I have told him over the last few months like leaving the room when I walk in, belittling me and false accusations he was intentionally do...	mongowal	8	473	Oct 4, 2013 by Tasha
	Alanon Step 2 (Preview) http://stepwork.activeboard.com/t55156986/alnon-step-2/	hotrod	0	439	Oct 4, 2013 by hotrod
	just needing to connect (Preview) so, i havent been on the boards lately to post, but ive been reading. so much of what we post and share out speaks volumes as to the depth this disease can go to do harm. ive returned back to work after the summer break onky to be crazy busy and tired and yes, raising a child and living with an active alcoholic...	Theoceancalls	3	335	Oct 4, 2013 by pinkchip
	Serenity Moment (Preview) My quick must share beautiful moment son had regarding serenity having been an alcoholic and an addict for nearly half of his life he finally made it to rehab nearly two years ago now and is studying to be a counselor, kid you not well he finally got a job in a rehab while he finishes his sc...	Peggy7	6	372	Oct 4, 2013 by Rose50
	Well HELLOOO Detachment and ZERO expectations, I am SO glad U R here!!!!!! (Preview) gotta Laugh at this one......Cousin arrived in town Tues......Haven't heard from her until todayshe slept all day Wed....Understandable....tiredyesterday she checked up on her rental house in my town....tenents are leaving and behind on rent.....understandable, I would want to be on top of t...	neshema2	8	531	Oct 4, 2013 by neshema2
	STEP 7....CLEANSE me of these unwanted feelings PLEASE!!! (Preview) Well this past 2 nights I have been working step 7.......asking creator, Great Spirit to remove this awful defect of mine called ill will, resentment and anger towards a LIST of folksI have been angry at Creator for not helping me meet my needs better.....even tho I believe creator only works in the sp...	neshema2	10	427	Oct 4, 2013 by neshema2
	letting go... (Preview) Recently my sister-in-law lost her mother. I really don't know what to say to her or my brother. It is awful to not be there & help her through this. She is such a sweet soul. Her mom was a gem. I am stuck in shock even though we knew this was coming. Her mom has been sick & in the hospital numerous time...	Hoot Nanny	1	167	Oct 4, 2013 by Jerry F
	The Awakening (Preview) A time comes in your life when you finally get it... when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your...	Peggy7	7	531	Oct 4, 2013 by tortuga
	Loving at a distance (Preview) I have to say that I really like the advantages of that. I just included my brother in a response to someone's post and vallah after three months of not hearing a peep from him, he texts me bright and early this morning shortly after I posted here. I'm sad at the condition of our relationship but glad to...	tiredtonite	5	505	Oct 3, 2013 by neshema2
	Service... (Preview) Just recently got home from introducing the program to the families of clients of a local rehab and of course to the counseling staff. My partner in it is a member who has recent time and the willingness to grow and experience as a teacher. If you have never ever intoduced the program to a whole bunch...	Jerry F	4	221	Oct 3, 2013 by Tasha
	Posted a question 3-days ago and here is my follow-up, am I right (Preview) I received many nice responses from my post and left my last statement that I was going to support my wife in any decision she decides to follow. Well I have. I retuned to aa to continue the 12-steps program, have come to some peace with my self in supporting my wife's recovery that will continue in anoth...	gofred123	7	747	Oct 3, 2013 by maryjane
	You'll never be alone (Preview) When you walk through a storm hold your head up high And don't be afraid of the dark. At the end of a storm is a golden sky And the sweet silver song of a lark. Walk on through the wind, Walk on through the rain, Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown. Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart And you'll nev...	Mari1978	4	454	Oct 3, 2013 by Jerry F
	Good Morning (Preview) I want to start by saying I am grateful for MIP being here for me For some reason I have no ESH for myself or anyone else right now. I'm like frozen in time. I'm not sad but I'm not happy. Not sure if it's fear or worry. I'm just not myself. I think about what is going on and I do think it might be because I w...	Cathyinaz	6	348	Oct 2, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	DID I HANDLE THIS RIGHT ?? re: my adult daughter (Preview) Ive been praying about my daughter (23yrs old) being attracted to the same alcoholic/addict type ppl I have all my yrs... Her dad (my ex ) is a A and my current husband is a A. Im stepping back and trying to let her learn for own self. Shes def is learning the hard way. And Her grandma spoke with me about us be...	sweeetr	6	494	Oct 2, 2013 by Jen
	C2C (Preview) Courage to Change has been a helpful part of my recovery. I have a really bad memory but I know today's reading is a good one. I will probably read it again because I tend to forget almost every thing I read that can be important. Sometimes I would rather read light reading because I am in the moment & do...	Hoot Nanny	2	366	Oct 2, 2013 by Jen
	a sign of codependence... (Preview) You know you are codependent when you feel guilty driving by a hitchhiker. ..	rehprof	9	382	Oct 2, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	GAl (Guardian ad Litem) lack of Chemical Dependency Knowledge and Self Assessed Alcohol Evaluation (Preview) I have been with my husband for over 8 years. When I finally agreed to marry him it was truly because I was pregnant. We are from a small town and the Lord forbid if we weren't married or if he was going to have a child born based on the help of the system. Things were really great for the duration of the pre...	abusedwife	4	422	Oct 2, 2013 by abbyalana
	the key to serenity is focus... (Preview) .... or so I am thinking right now. that's the deep source of most of my issues with life. The A is just one trigger that pushed this to the limit and this pointed it out to me. But the problem is mine I have to admit. FOCUS. what a small word with such big importance. What brought since i can remember diffic...	tortuga	5	347	Oct 2, 2013 by ClearTheFog
	So .. Angry God ? tired tonight .. (Preview) Just am lonely tonight. Doesn't matter who I'm around yet as I type this I realize right now that with other alanon members, the lonliness is much more bearable .. Had an epiphany though and recognizing this is truly part of my own personal acceptance process .. darkest before dawn as usual .. Would li...	MeTwo2	9	390	Oct 2, 2013 by Mari1978
	A good breakthrough in boundaries and detachment (Preview) Daughter #2 tried me AGAIN!!! ....I told you all about the "dinner" she stood me up on about 2-3 weeks ago and didn't even apologize for it and that it was something she INSISTED upon....a "mom and daughter dinner" HER idea...And she pulled the head games on me again, ...and h...	neshema2	8	352	Oct 2, 2013 by Ness
	Sober or not, he says I'm never satisfied. (Preview) My BF is an alcoholic/addict. Right now he is using but had a 5 month sober period. He says I'm never happy, even when he was sober he says I was never satisfied. Is this uncommon? I feel as though he may be right....he is drinking and using I'm enraged. If he is sober then I always figure he will mess it up any...	Heronbeach	24	794	Oct 2, 2013 by Raven Juniper
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The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.