Al-Anon Family Group - Al-Anon Family Group

Mari1978 · Mari1978

I just wanted to sleep last night. I'm exhausted. I was almost asleep when he came and sat on the bed and wanted to talk. I truly am done. I wish to no longer be manipulated and it just makes him more determined to isolate me from everyone. I need to completely let go of what others will be told or what they wi...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I am confused on this. Are they my BOUNDARIES of what I will accept and not accept? I found this on one of the posts. Does it matter what my BOUNDARIES with this? And how do you communicate this to a dry drunk without making it sound like an ultimatum? I am having a hard time finding the right reading mate...

Raven Juniper · Raven Juniper

Some days, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I realize that I am in recovery as much as I wish my ABF would be, and this week I've had a relapse in co-dependent behavior. I can't seem to get rid of the hurt and anger that consumes me, and this weekend turned out to be the "kicker" for me. I can't se...

John · John

Hi MIP folks! Nothing big to write about today. Life is getting rather simple and I like it like that. No drama, just me, my dogs, a bit of work, going to meetings, and trying to stay on top of things financially as we head into the winter season, which is always a rough time for me. Pressure Washing home...

Katytexasmom · Katytexasmom

Ug. Fighting with my hubby...on of my A sons just got fired again. Most likely for the same reason. He's an alcoholic (30yrs old) and is coming back around our business for another 'job' with us. That means we pay him, and his bills but he does next to nothing if he decides to show up. I reminded my husband (...

Rose50 · Rose50

I am angry and disappointed - in that order. I spoke with my son this morning as we were supposed to get together today. He said he had errands to run and would not be available until late afternoon. Well, you guessed it. He never called me back as promised. He had mentioned that the back pay he received fr...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

It's hard when you get an email like this and stay in the real world. Need to see actions not words......and keep telling yourself that CATHY! Let go let God....... Yes, you have to take responsibility recover yourself, but is virtually impossible to do it alone. To each their own - we need to ask seek...

Green Eyes · Green Eyes

Today is the 9 month anniversary of my AH's passing. That in itself weighs very heavy on my heart. The other issue is my AD. Her twin sis is getting married this weekend, and she still is estranged from all of us except for her big sis. Her twin sis tried to reach out to her last week, but my AD has so much anger...

Bettina · Bettina

I have been on another planet for the last week, getting ready for my 50th HS reunion and actually going to the reunion and having a wonderful time. I'm so glad my HS friends on f/b talked me into going. I was having stinkin thinkin toward the whole idea. You know , the committee was made up of the Homeco...

Jen61 · Jen61

It was like a light switch on Monday. From sweet guy to someone I did not like. My husband has been sober for 3 months, with 1 slip. I can usually smell it on it, but on Monday I did not. I looked in his usual hiding places but could not find anything. I know I am not the alcohol police... It was just his beh...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Today I'm grateful for waking up and the suns out and my kids tell me they love me. My kids are my best supporters right now . My oldest came to see me she been staying away because she hates to see me falling apart. I never made it to a meeting like I wanted to . A stated he needed to speak to me very important . So...

Peggy7 · Peggy7

BEHAVIORS FREQUENTLY SEEN IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EXPOSED CHILDREN AND TEENS:Easily startled - exaggerated startle responseReluctance to try new things - low self-esteem and lack of confidenceExcessive tiredness - sleep difficulties or nightmares Frequent physical complaints - headaches, s...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I hope I am not being too descriptive in this post. I found a lump in my left breast yesterday--3 years ago yesterday I had breast surgery & I haven't gotten a mammogram since then. I know I am due anyway. So, I go on & wait until I can see my doctor. I am a bit nervous & there is pain there. It seems...

ParisMemories · ParisMemories

Because he is an alcoholic, simple as that. I used to toss and turn and try to make sense of it all. Today, I just accept the truth and keep moving forward.

Lyne · Lyne

Now that I am fully out of my denial, I see a side of my spouse I really don't like. This occurred yesterday after a family visit. We went to get flu shots and the first place was closing. It's no big deal, really. I saw a rush of anger taking over this person who had just been calm for several hours. This...

CDK · CDK

Hello all. Good to see you. ExABF and I broke up June of last year. Have had absolutely no contact. Dont know anything about his life at all. Im slowly working my way thru the Steps. I attend CODA mtgs 3 timeds a week with some ACA mtgs thriwn in there. I follow the Fellow Travelor Way instead of sponsor b/...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I had my alone therapy last night, I had a mini break down because after finally being on here yesterday it mixed my emotions up like a smoothly!!! But I feel a little better today. So my consoler and I talked about if I have decided how long I want to deal with this and if I had a time line. I mean how long am I...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

AB wasn't happy about me going away to visit family. (Yes, this will begin with a quick whinge and wtf? about He Who Must Not Be Named but don't worry, it's coming around to me and what I'm doing to feel better and take charge of my own happiness

) Anyway not long after I returned home he barricaded hims...

neshema2 · neshema2

I read all shares...thought about them at length....and I give thanks for the input My take?? I did not post about my disappointment to gossip, work another's inventory, pull myself up by putting another down....it was none of that I posted it simply b/c i was disappointed......here I am stressed t...

beryl80 · beryl80

Hi all So yet again I sit here opposite the husband who is asleep on the couch reeking of vodka, the children upstairs as they know he is drunk and dont want to be near him without me even saying anything to them. After intervening from him cooking the dinner after broken plates and smoke everywhere this...

Bettina · Bettina

"Failing to plan, is planning to fail.' Dr. Robert Benevidez (HS friend of mine who works with Latino A's)

Jerry F · Jerry F

Am a recovering member of Al-Anon and AA and use to work with NASA. I also use to work with adolescents in rehab and in school district about the disease of alcoholism and drug addictions in their lives. Saw yesterday where NASA in an upcoming launch will be sending an 11 year old boy into space. He h...

KathieG · KathieG

I have had sponsors in the past we'd meet up once a week or every other week, when we'd get together we'd work on step work or work on something. I'd call everyday to check in. I have a sponsor now and when we talk she is great! But we never meet up. I know it's my recovery and its up to me to work the steps, I don't...

neshema2 · neshema2

OK....I posted about my cuzin and it may or may not be I was working her inventory???? is addressing behaviour working inventory???? or is CHARACTER statements working inventory???? I am kinda confused and I want to get this right so asking forum WHAT IS WORKING THEIR INVENTORY and when can address...

lgnutah · lgnutah

I have been coming here since January, working to learn the steps, to learn the slogans, to LEARN NOT TO KEEP ENABLING MY A (an adult daughter who lives 2 hrs away, who hasn't had a job in about a year)! So this afternoon my A calls me, first it seems to just talk (unusual, but we did get together last Friday s...

neshema2 · neshema2

Well i was looking forward to having a fun time w/cousin........shes been here a week now and we have had 3 phone calls..........that is ityes....i understand her need to see her uppity daughter who now i hear is too good for leftovers.....food gets thrown outyes...i understand her need to address t...

Ms co-dependent · Ms co-dependent

Hi I'm ok I'm alive and still a co dependent. I know what needs to change and it to much . To many sub selfs to deal with multiply emotions with there own fears and I can assure you my name is rosemary and not Sybil . My new onset of why I do what I do . Never new why had no clue I have no leader in my pack (in me ) I have s...

Breakingfree · Breakingfree

~Right now my program is strong and it is helping me deal with people left and right in the middle of my stressful schedule with school, work and my kids. I am dealing with a woman in my nursing program and at first I struggled, but then I remembered to dettach to QTIP and that what she had to say said volume...

Tasha · Tasha

Me????? Can't be!!! Lol. I'm the one whos worked(ing) the steps!!! Not him. He just hangs out at meetings.... Look who is judging him for judging me lolol! Maybe... just maybe i have stuff to learn.. um yes. Hp knows when i need a boost in an area and gives me lessons and growth opportunities g...

WorkingThroughIt · WorkingThroughIt

On Friday my mother who is getting sicker now with each passing month and who won't go to Alanon or ACOA or even therapy, emailed me to cheerily say my brother and his girlfriend want my parents to visit for the weekend. My brother has been omitting me from all plans for the past few years which is unfair to...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I am new here and to all of this. Although I have learned a lot in the 7 last months (even if I didnt want to) it is all so over whelming and not sure I can handle it. So many questions still. I hope this make sense, cried the whole time..... Sorry so long but I want to share. My story: I am 43 and he is 40. I met my b...

Iwantthingsback · Iwantthingsback

I have heard this before from people who have gone and maybe it is our area in Rochester (not to put AA down at all). But Monday he cried so hard at our last therapy apt and just yelled out AA makes me want to drink!!!!! And that is makes him feel worse and he walked out. And we were not even talking about his D...

tiredtonite · tiredtonite

Something funny happen yesterday and wanted to share it. I decided to join the recovering abf for a walk around a lake in the drizzling rain. He asked if we could bring our program books and read them afterwards in the car. He said he just wasn't in a good place. He bagged eight books and brought them...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

I have a lot of projects that I need to complete or at least attempt. I am a procrastinator as my husband points out. We are working together to put up my swing. It has been a challenge but it is possible. I spent yesterday after trying to assemble the swing, working diligently in my back room. I found thing...

Gaby · Gaby

Hi there all.. I left on Saturday to go be with him for the weekend. Well on my way my phone rings from the area code he was at. I found it weird that he was calling me before the time he is allowed, but I answered and he said mom I'm ready to go home. I worked through my 5th step and I need to start living my life as I...

Nightingale · Nightingale

I'm wondering if there is anyone else out there living with a sober spouse with bipolar disorder. My A has been sober for 10 years and we have been together on and off for 5 1/2 years, living together for 1 year. He's a wonderful person and I want him in my life forever but when these episodes hit...and we ar...

mm830 · mm830

I would like to apologize to the moderator of the online meeting this evening, I was trying to share earlier and the A came home and was ringing the doorbell, stinking drunk but he is ok, safe. Thank you all very much for the support today.

PP · PP

I have been with my sponsor for about 4 1/2 years. The relationship no longer feels like a good fit, yet I am not sure if saying that it no longer is working for me is the best way to end it. It is the truth, though. I want to acknowledge her for her service and companionship, then wish her well. Any feedba...

joker · joker

I know that being in the present moment is what I need to do but for the past few days I have been worried about my exbf, the active alcoholic. I have been thinking about him a lot again, for no reason, maybe because I am living alone and have no bf present in my life, nor am I dating. The ex was the one that...

bijela · bijela

I miss my boyfriend so much. =( I know that he has a lot of problems with alcohol. His sister is just so combative. She was was the one that was a bigger problem than he is. :( If he left all the crap in Indy, maybe he'd have a better chance. His other sister left the state to get away from their crazy family. She...

mm830 · mm830

I haven't posted in a while. The A has been so nice lately, things have been going well, he has been really the SO I would want to have. But I hurt so much from so much past stuff, and I did something stupid and lashed out so, so bad at him. I just hurt so much in every way. I don't think we will ever speak again. Ma...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

This is one thing I wanted to work on, mostly because I had no idea what people were talking about. I actually had to go looking for examples of boundaries because I couldn't figure it out. Now that I know, I wanted to start small. Here's what I came up with: 1. I will not keep waiting, or I will go out and e...

Heronbeach · Heronbeach

Are you sell intimate when you detach from your Alcoholic? I'm assuming this isn't a good idea, but its hard because where very strong and passionate in our intimacy.

Rose50 · Rose50

My son called me this afternoon. He's been profoundly depressed and had checked himself into a mental health facility last week. He spent a few days there. Told me he will be calling his doctor tomorrow morning to try to get an appointment as soon as possible as he realizes that he needs to see a therapis...

Melly1248 · Melly1248

Last week, the A announced to me that I should keep Saturday free, as he was planning "something special". Sadly, this made me uneasy. I know when he "plans something nice", he usually gets very drunk and sabotages it and then blames me for ruining it somehow. In reality we have...

abbyalana · abbyalana

So, since the divorce I have generally zero contact with the A. BUT I am not able to fully detach because we share a child. Or maybe it's not detachment, maybe I am doing that and it's something else. Anyways, here's my thoughts and maybe you can help me wrap my mind around them. The A was abusive (stil...

lgnutah · lgnutah

Detaching with love from the effects of alcoholism. This was one of the topics that was being shared at tonight's MIP meeting. I arrived late so didn't get to take part in most of the meeting, but the underlined part really gave me pause. Thinking of detaching from the effects instead of from the A...

el-cee · el-cee

I think of compassion for the alcoholic in my life like a gauge on where I am in my recovery. Lately, my gauge is running on empty. Even to think of my ex ah my face screws up and I feel nothing but hatred for him. When I first got into recovery, I still had some contact with my ex and I found compassion after a fe...

Lyne · Lyne

Thank you all who responded to my last post. You get where I am at this point. I am aware that my A is in recovery for me. She has stopped drinking and is trying a food plan. She has lost a couple pounds. My hope is that if she keeps going to meetings and talking to her sponsor, it is possible that somethin...

Rose50 · Rose50

I had an email from my son this morning. He wrote that he's doing fine and hoped my job interview went well. That was it. Nothing about paying me back the money I loaned him as he promised he would. I don't necessarily believe that he's doing well as he tends to say this so I won't worry. I know there isn't any...

Tasha · Tasha

I have asked to be sat next to many times. I ask - and leave the results to God. My husband continues to be emotionally unavailable and selfish at times, and I take care of me anyway. Tonight - we had the kids off to Grandma and Grandpa's for a night of camping. Most of the day was spent picking up my siste...

Theoceancalls · Theoceancalls

so, after months of working really hard on myself and detaching from my ah, i lost it tonight. since last friday my husb has been out drinking four out of seven nites and useless on the other three. so tonight whn he annc once again he wouldnt be home, i cried. i feel lousy as work has been tough and im gettin...

bijela · bijela

I tend to cave under pressure and do that "go along to get along" thing with usually disasterous results. How do you fix that? How do you get strong, good boundaries where you can say what you want to say without being scared? I know that I did that with my boyfriend. He is actually pissed at me...

bijela · bijela

I always feel like every problem in relationships are my fault. I feel terribly guilty for moving out of my boyfriend's house. He lives there with his sister and they are both drinkers. His sister is a mean drunk and has attacked me a few times. When I packed up my stuff and left, he was sobbing. I felt so ho...

SpiderArcana · SpiderArcana

So, my A slept almost all day today, and I was trying to figure out why it bothered me so much. He wasn't drunk, hasn't had a drop all day to my knowledge, he's just been sleeping. Why on earth would I be annoyed that he was asleep? I've had lazy days when I just veg'd out in front of the stupid box all day, wh...

Hoot Nanny · Hoot Nanny

The cruise went well. It rained but didn't really affect the outcome. I am just grateful that about 100 recovering people were there anyway. I was informed that I couldn't even mention anything about it on any form of public media. I thought I could casually mention it but I can't even post a picture tha...

Tracy · Tracy

Hi All, lost my conection with my HP for a day or two, I forgot he had my back. and guess what my sponsee rang aand what I needed to suggest was TRUST IN HP 1st sign. Then I went to my meeting this morning and the topic was FAITH 2nd sign. So praying contecting trusting all will be fine HP can see round corners. ...

Cathyinaz · Cathyinaz

Why I say I'm not moving forward like I should is because I realize just this hour that I think something happened......and IT"S CRAZY My son has been sending a email every day telling me about his progress. He has a one hour privilege for internet by his counselor. Today he didn't email and I am...

Lyne · Lyne

I miss this board and will write as often as I can. Today I have some extra time and am checking in with you guys before getting lost in the day. I have been through some ups and downs lately-90 yr old mother not doing well, car accident (I'm fine as HP was in my passenger seat), work stress, home construct...

slogan_jim · slogan_jim

Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Ever since coming to Al-Anon, I find I have been more accepting of life. Accepting of myself, accepting of my feelings, accepting of situations around me that are out of my control. I used to try and convince myself and pretend tha...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Progress not perfection (Preview) I just wanted to sleep last night. I'm exhausted. I was almost asleep when he came and sat on the bed and wanted to talk. I truly am done. I wish to no longer be manipulated and it just makes him more determined to isolate me from everyone. I need to completely let go of what others will be told or what they wi...	Mari1978	5	335	Oct 10, 2013 by Jen
	BOUNDARIES (Preview) I am confused on this. Are they my BOUNDARIES of what I will accept and not accept? I found this on one of the posts. Does it matter what my BOUNDARIES with this? And how do you communicate this to a dry drunk without making it sound like an ultimatum? I am having a hard time finding the right reading mate...	Iwantthingsback	18	592	Oct 10, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Feel like I'm failing miserably (Preview) Some days, I don't know if I'm coming or going. I realize that I am in recovery as much as I wish my ABF would be, and this week I've had a relapse in co-dependent behavior. I can't seem to get rid of the hurt and anger that consumes me, and this weekend turned out to be the "kicker" for me. I can't se...	Raven Juniper	7	468	Oct 10, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Just a simple "Hello" to everyone! (Preview) Hi MIP folks! Nothing big to write about today. Life is getting rather simple and I like it like that. No drama, just me, my dogs, a bit of work, going to meetings, and trying to stay on top of things financially as we head into the winter season, which is always a rough time for me. Pressure Washing home...	John	8	475	Oct 10, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	Fighting to hold boundaries! (Preview) Ug. Fighting with my hubby...on of my A sons just got fired again. Most likely for the same reason. He's an alcoholic (30yrs old) and is coming back around our business for another 'job' with us. That means we pay him, and his bills but he does next to nothing if he decides to show up. I reminded my husband (...	Katytexasmom	5	367	Oct 10, 2013 by Cathyinaz
	I'm done (Preview) I am angry and disappointed - in that order. I spoke with my son this morning as we were supposed to get together today. He said he had errands to run and would not be available until late afternoon. Well, you guessed it. He never called me back as promised. He had mentioned that the back pay he received fr...	Rose50	12	560	Oct 10, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	I know I know they are just words (Preview) It's hard when you get an email like this and stay in the real world. Need to see actions not words......and keep telling yourself that CATHY! Let go let God....... Yes, you have to take responsibility recover yourself, but is virtually impossible to do it alone. To each their own - we need to ask seek...	Cathyinaz	22	527	Oct 10, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Feeling Blue Today (Preview) Today is the 9 month anniversary of my AH's passing. That in itself weighs very heavy on my heart. The other issue is my AD. Her twin sis is getting married this weekend, and she still is estranged from all of us except for her big sis. Her twin sis tried to reach out to her last week, but my AD has so much anger...	Green Eyes	6	375	Oct 10, 2013 by Green Eyes
	50 year reunion (Preview) I have been on another planet for the last week, getting ready for my 50th HS reunion and actually going to the reunion and having a wonderful time. I'm so glad my HS friends on f/b talked me into going. I was having stinkin thinkin toward the whole idea. You know , the committee was made up of the Homeco...	Bettina	6	262	Oct 10, 2013 by Bettina
	Dry Drunk Behavior or.... (Preview) It was like a light switch on Monday. From sweet guy to someone I did not like. My husband has been sober for 3 months, with 1 slip. I can usually smell it on it, but on Monday I did not. I looked in his usual hiding places but could not find anything. I know I am not the alcohol police... It was just his beh...	Jen61	5	500	Oct 10, 2013 by Ms S
	Short update (Preview) Today I'm grateful for waking up and the suns out and my kids tell me they love me. My kids are my best supporters right now . My oldest came to see me she been staying away because she hates to see me falling apart. I never made it to a meeting like I wanted to . A stated he needed to speak to me very important . So...	Ms co-dependent	1	175	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	BEHAVIORS FREQUENTLY SEEN IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EXPOSED CHILDREN AND TEENS (Preview) BEHAVIORS FREQUENTLY SEEN IN DOMESTIC VIOLENCE EXPOSED CHILDREN AND TEENS:Easily startled - exaggerated startle responseReluctance to try new things - low self-esteem and lack of confidenceExcessive tiredness - sleep difficulties or nightmares Frequent physical complaints - headaches, s...	Peggy7	7	535	Oct 9, 2013 by Melly1248
	found a lump (Preview) I hope I am not being too descriptive in this post. I found a lump in my left breast yesterday--3 years ago yesterday I had breast surgery & I haven't gotten a mammogram since then. I know I am due anyway. So, I go on & wait until I can see my doctor. I am a bit nervous & there is pain there. It seems...	Hoot Nanny	13	421	Oct 9, 2013 by el-cee
	Why Does He Lie To Me? (Preview) Because he is an alcoholic, simple as that. I used to toss and turn and try to make sense of it all. Today, I just accept the truth and keep moving forward.	ParisMemories	3	357	Oct 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	"seeing " the dry drunk behavior (Preview) Now that I am fully out of my denial, I see a side of my spouse I really don't like. This occurred yesterday after a family visit. We went to get flu shots and the first place was closing. It's no big deal, really. I saw a rush of anger taking over this person who had just been calm for several hours. This...	Lyne	8	514	Oct 9, 2013 by grateful2be
	How on earth do I still misd him? (Preview) Hello all. Good to see you. ExABF and I broke up June of last year. Have had absolutely no contact. Dont know anything about his life at all. Im slowly working my way thru the Steps. I attend CODA mtgs 3 timeds a week with some ACA mtgs thriwn in there. I follow the Fellow Travelor Way instead of sponsor b/...	CDK	6	493	Oct 9, 2013 by grateful2be
	What a weird day for me yesterday :) (Preview) I had my alone therapy last night, I had a mini break down because after finally being on here yesterday it mixed my emotions up like a smoothly!!! But I feel a little better today. So my consoler and I talked about if I have decided how long I want to deal with this and if I had a time line. I mean how long am I...	Iwantthingsback	5	339	Oct 9, 2013 by Iwantthingsback
	Finding light in dark places? (Preview) AB wasn't happy about me going away to visit family. (Yes, this will begin with a quick whinge and wtf? about He Who Must Not Be Named but don't worry, it's coming around to me and what I'm doing to feel better and take charge of my own happiness ) Anyway not long after I returned home he barricaded hims...	Melly1248	35	770	Oct 9, 2013 by grateful2be
	UPDATE and thank you re: my question (Preview) I read all shares...thought about them at length....and I give thanks for the input My take?? I did not post about my disappointment to gossip, work another's inventory, pull myself up by putting another down....it was none of that I posted it simply b/c i was disappointed......here I am stressed t...	neshema2	4	818	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	groundhog day !! How do i ever break free from what feels like this living prison?? (Preview) Hi all So yet again I sit here opposite the husband who is asleep on the couch reeking of vodka, the children upstairs as they know he is drunk and dont want to be near him without me even saying anything to them. After intervening from him cooking the dinner after broken plates and smoke everywhere this...	beryl80	8	412	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	a friends thoughts... (Preview) "Failing to plan, is planning to fail.' Dr. Robert Benevidez (HS friend of mine who works with Latino A's)	Bettina	0	141	Oct 9, 2013 by Bettina
	Ohhhh I don't know... (Preview) Am a recovering member of Al-Anon and AA and use to work with NASA. I also use to work with adolescents in rehab and in school district about the disease of alcoholism and drug addictions in their lives. Saw yesterday where NASA in an upcoming launch will be sending an 11 year old boy into space. He h...	Jerry F	2	276	Oct 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	Sponsorship (Preview) I have had sponsors in the past we'd meet up once a week or every other week, when we'd get together we'd work on step work or work on something. I'd call everyday to check in. I have a sponsor now and when we talk she is great! But we never meet up. I know it's my recovery and its up to me to work the steps, I don't...	KathieG	10	487	Oct 9, 2013 by KathieG
	QUESTION..is addressing behaviour working anothers inventory???? I am confused (Preview) OK....I posted about my cuzin and it may or may not be I was working her inventory???? is addressing behaviour working inventory???? or is CHARACTER statements working inventory???? I am kinda confused and I want to get this right so asking forum WHAT IS WORKING THEIR INVENTORY and when can address...	neshema2	4	423	Oct 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	It wasn't perfect by any means, but I am making progress!! (Preview) I have been coming here since January, working to learn the steps, to learn the slogans, to LEARN NOT TO KEEP ENABLING MY A (an adult daughter who lives 2 hrs away, who hasn't had a job in about a year)! So this afternoon my A calls me, first it seems to just talk (unusual, but we did get together last Friday s...	lgnutah	9	553	Oct 9, 2013 by neshema2
	I don't think my cousin likes the recovery me...LOL (Preview) Well i was looking forward to having a fun time w/cousin........shes been here a week now and we have had 3 phone calls..........that is ityes....i understand her need to see her uppity daughter who now i hear is too good for leftovers.....food gets thrown outyes...i understand her need to address t...	neshema2	7	2704	Oct 9, 2013 by neshema2
	Question (Preview) Hi I'm ok I'm alive and still a co dependent. I know what needs to change and it to much . To many sub selfs to deal with multiply emotions with there own fears and I can assure you my name is rosemary and not Sybil . My new onset of why I do what I do . Never new why had no clue I have no leader in my pack (in me ) I have s...	Ms co-dependent	12	504	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	So glad I have al-anon and know how to dettach and have boundaries (Preview) ~Right now my program is strong and it is helping me deal with people left and right in the middle of my stressful schedule with school, work and my kids. I am dealing with a woman in my nursing program and at first I struggled, but then I remembered to dettach to QTIP and that what she had to say said volume...	Breakingfree	2	246	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	he told me my alanon recovery sucks!!! (Preview) Me????? Can't be!!! Lol. I'm the one whos worked(ing) the steps!!! Not him. He just hangs out at meetings.... Look who is judging him for judging me lolol! Maybe... just maybe i have stuff to learn.. um yes. Hp knows when i need a boost in an area and gives me lessons and growth opportunities g...	Tasha	10	627	Oct 9, 2013 by hotrod
	Family Explosion (Preview) On Friday my mother who is getting sicker now with each passing month and who won't go to Alanon or ACOA or even therapy, emailed me to cheerily say my brother and his girlfriend want my parents to visit for the weekend. My brother has been omitting me from all plans for the past few years which is unfair to...	WorkingThroughIt	17	608	Oct 8, 2013 by WorkingThroughIt
	I don't know what to do anymore :( (Preview) I am new here and to all of this. Although I have learned a lot in the 7 last months (even if I didnt want to) it is all so over whelming and not sure I can handle it. So many questions still. I hope this make sense, cried the whole time..... Sorry so long but I want to share. My story: I am 43 and he is 40. I met my b...	Iwantthingsback	10	502	Oct 9, 2013 by abbyal
	Learning ARG (Preview) I have heard this before from people who have gone and maybe it is our area in Rochester (not to put AA down at all). But Monday he cried so hard at our last therapy apt and just yelled out AA makes me want to drink!!!!! And that is makes him feel worse and he walked out. And we were not even talking about his D...	Iwantthingsback	4	336	Oct 9, 2013 by Jerry F
	A god Thing (Preview) Something funny happen yesterday and wanted to share it. I decided to join the recovering abf for a walk around a lake in the drizzling rain. He asked if we could bring our program books and read them afterwards in the car. He said he just wasn't in a good place. He bagged eight books and brought them...	tiredtonite	7	340	Oct 8, 2013 by Peggy7
	projects (Preview) I have a lot of projects that I need to complete or at least attempt. I am a procrastinator as my husband points out. We are working together to put up my swing. It has been a challenge but it is possible. I spent yesterday after trying to assemble the swing, working diligently in my back room. I found thing...	Hoot Nanny	2	229	Oct 8, 2013 by abbyalana
	My son is home.. (Preview) Hi there all.. I left on Saturday to go be with him for the weekend. Well on my way my phone rings from the area code he was at. I found it weird that he was calling me before the time he is allowed, but I answered and he said mom I'm ready to go home. I worked through my 5th step and I need to start living my life as I...	Gaby	12	436	Oct 8, 2013 by Katytexasmom
	Bipolar (Preview) I'm wondering if there is anyone else out there living with a sober spouse with bipolar disorder. My A has been sober for 10 years and we have been together on and off for 5 1/2 years, living together for 1 year. He's a wonderful person and I want him in my life forever but when these episodes hit...and we ar...	Nightingale	9	3762	Oct 8, 2013 by sad_dog_mommy
	Apologies to Online Meeting Mods (Preview) I would like to apologize to the moderator of the online meeting this evening, I was trying to share earlier and the A came home and was ringing the doorbell, stinking drunk but he is ok, safe. Thank you all very much for the support today.	mm830	1	264	Oct 8, 2013 by Tigger
	Would like ESH...considering a change in sponsors (Preview) I have been with my sponsor for about 4 1/2 years. The relationship no longer feels like a good fit, yet I am not sure if saying that it no longer is working for me is the best way to end it. It is the truth, though. I want to acknowledge her for her service and companionship, then wish her well. Any feedba...	PP	11	449	Oct 8, 2013 by PP
	worried (Preview) I know that being in the present moment is what I need to do but for the past few days I have been worried about my exbf, the active alcoholic. I have been thinking about him a lot again, for no reason, maybe because I am living alone and have no bf present in my life, nor am I dating. The ex was the one that...	joker	8	416	Oct 8, 2013 by Breakingfree
	I miss him. (Preview) I miss my boyfriend so much. =( I know that he has a lot of problems with alcohol. His sister is just so combative. She was was the one that was a bigger problem than he is. :( If he left all the crap in Indy, maybe he'd have a better chance. His other sister left the state to get away from their crazy family. She...	bijela	11	514	Oct 8, 2013 by abell
	I was so mean :( (Preview) I haven't posted in a while. The A has been so nice lately, things have been going well, he has been really the SO I would want to have. But I hurt so much from so much past stuff, and I did something stupid and lashed out so, so bad at him. I just hurt so much in every way. I don't think we will ever speak again. Ma...	mm830	19	2818	Oct 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Figuring out boudaries (Preview) This is one thing I wanted to work on, mostly because I had no idea what people were talking about. I actually had to go looking for examples of boundaries because I couldn't figure it out. Now that I know, I wanted to start small. Here's what I came up with: 1. I will not keep waiting, or I will go out and e...	SpiderArcana	2	320	Oct 8, 2013 by PP
	Detaching with love (Preview) Are you sell intimate when you detach from your Alcoholic? I'm assuming this isn't a good idea, but its hard because where very strong and passionate in our intimacy.	Heronbeach	9	824	Oct 8, 2013 by neshema2
	Phone call from son (Preview) My son called me this afternoon. He's been profoundly depressed and had checked himself into a mental health facility last week. He spent a few days there. Told me he will be calling his doctor tomorrow morning to try to get an appointment as soon as possible as he realizes that he needs to see a therapis...	Rose50	6	277	Oct 7, 2013 by Ness
	Everyone is crazy except me..part 2 (Preview) Last week, the A announced to me that I should keep Saturday free, as he was planning "something special". Sadly, this made me uneasy. I know when he "plans something nice", he usually gets very drunk and sabotages it and then blames me for ruining it somehow. In reality we have...	Melly1248	12	516	Oct 7, 2013 by Melly1248
	Detaching and abusive alcoholic (Preview) So, since the divorce I have generally zero contact with the A. BUT I am not able to fully detach because we share a child. Or maybe it's not detachment, maybe I am doing that and it's something else. Anyways, here's my thoughts and maybe you can help me wrap my mind around them. The A was abusive (stil...	abbyalana	3	427	Oct 7, 2013 by neshema2
	Detaching with love from the effects of alcoholism (Preview) Detaching with love from the effects of alcoholism. This was one of the topics that was being shared at tonight's MIP meeting. I arrived late so didn't get to take part in most of the meeting, but the underlined part really gave me pause. Thinking of detaching from the effects instead of from the A...	lgnutah	5	387	Oct 7, 2013 by lgnutah
	Compassion - coming and going. (Preview) I think of compassion for the alcoholic in my life like a gauge on where I am in my recovery. Lately, my gauge is running on empty. Even to think of my ex ah my face screws up and I feel nothing but hatred for him. When I first got into recovery, I still had some contact with my ex and I found compassion after a fe...	el-cee	8	329	Oct 6, 2013 by pinkchip
	Life is for learning (Preview) Thank you all who responded to my last post. You get where I am at this point. I am aware that my A is in recovery for me. She has stopped drinking and is trying a food plan. She has lost a couple pounds. My hope is that if she keeps going to meetings and talking to her sponsor, it is possible that somethin...	Lyne	2	215	Oct 6, 2013 by hotrod
	Son sent me an email (Preview) I had an email from my son this morning. He wrote that he's doing fine and hoped my job interview went well. That was it. Nothing about paying me back the money I loaned him as he promised he would. I don't necessarily believe that he's doing well as he tends to say this so I won't worry. I know there isn't any...	Rose50	10	545	Oct 6, 2013 by Mimi3
	Emotionally unavailable (Preview) I have asked to be sat next to many times. I ask - and leave the results to God. My husband continues to be emotionally unavailable and selfish at times, and I take care of me anyway. Tonight - we had the kids off to Grandma and Grandpa's for a night of camping. Most of the day was spent picking up my siste...	Tasha	8	510	Oct 6, 2013 by PP
	i slipped up. . . (Preview) so, after months of working really hard on myself and detaching from my ah, i lost it tonight. since last friday my husb has been out drinking four out of seven nites and useless on the other three. so tonight whn he annc once again he wouldnt be home, i cried. i feel lousy as work has been tough and im gettin...	Theoceancalls	6	373	Oct 6, 2013 by pinkchip
	Boundaries. How do you get them? (Preview) I tend to cave under pressure and do that "go along to get along" thing with usually disasterous results. How do you fix that? How do you get strong, good boundaries where you can say what you want to say without being scared? I know that I did that with my boyfriend. He is actually pissed at me...	bijela	4	646	Oct 6, 2013 by neshema2
	Why do we blame ourselves for everything? (Preview) I always feel like every problem in relationships are my fault. I feel terribly guilty for moving out of my boyfriend's house. He lives there with his sister and they are both drinkers. His sister is a mean drunk and has attacked me a few times. When I packed up my stuff and left, he was sobbing. I felt so ho...	bijela	8	679	Oct 6, 2013 by neshema2
	something small that opens up a revelation about myself (Preview) So, my A slept almost all day today, and I was trying to figure out why it bothered me so much. He wasn't drunk, hasn't had a drop all day to my knowledge, he's just been sleeping. Why on earth would I be annoyed that he was asleep? I've had lazy days when I just veg'd out in front of the stupid box all day, wh...	SpiderArcana	5	335	Oct 6, 2013 by neshema2
	cruise went well... (Preview) The cruise went well. It rained but didn't really affect the outcome. I am just grateful that about 100 recovering people were there anyway. I was informed that I couldn't even mention anything about it on any form of public media. I thought I could casually mention it but I can't even post a picture tha...	Hoot Nanny	3	315	Oct 6, 2013 by KathieG
	FAITH (Preview) Hi All, lost my conection with my HP for a day or two, I forgot he had my back. and guess what my sponsee rang aand what I needed to suggest was TRUST IN HP 1st sign. Then I went to my meeting this morning and the topic was FAITH 2nd sign. So praying contecting trusting all will be fine HP can see round corners. ...	Tracy	2	230	Oct 5, 2013 by Jerry F
	I don't think I'm moving forward (Preview) Why I say I'm not moving forward like I should is because I realize just this hour that I think something happened......and IT"S CRAZY My son has been sending a email every day telling me about his progress. He has a one hour privilege for internet by his counselor. Today he didn't email and I am...	Cathyinaz	17	549	Oct 5, 2013 by Debilyn
	life (Preview) I miss this board and will write as often as I can. Today I have some extra time and am checking in with you guys before getting lost in the day. I have been through some ups and downs lately-90 yr old mother not doing well, car accident (I'm fine as HP was in my passenger seat), work stress, home construct...	Lyne	4	364	Oct 5, 2013 by yanksfan51
	Acceptance is the key to serenity (Preview) Hi everyone, My name is slogan_jim and I am a grateful member of Al-Anon. Ever since coming to Al-Anon, I find I have been more accepting of life. Accepting of myself, accepting of my feelings, accepting of situations around me that are out of my control. I used to try and convince myself and pretend tha...	slogan_jim	3	503	Oct 5, 2013 by afglin
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