The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
This is one thing I wanted to work on, mostly because I had no idea what people were talking about. I actually had to go looking for examples of boundaries because I couldn't figure it out. Now that I know, I wanted to start small. Here's what I came up with:
1. I will not keep waiting, or I will go out and enjoy my life again regardless of his influence (goes along with realizing how bored I was).
2. I will not clean up his financial mistakes (he is a grown-up, he can fix them, it's his responsibility).
3. I will not make excuses for his behavior (only he can decide what is appropriate and what isn't, and honestly I am probably over-reacting to what I think he should be doing/saying).
4. I will identify my emotions, the reasons and triggers behind them, and express them in a calm, clear fashion.
I haven't yet figured out the 'If he keeps doing ____, then I will ____.' in regards to his drinking. I know that's an important one, but I honestly don't know. It's all in a state of flux. Maybe if I can start by upholding these four, I can build on them later. Therapy session tonight with the ASO. We'll see how it goes.
